Kill James Bond! - Horns and Facts and Climbing | Below Deck Adventure S1 E6
Episode Date: December 11, 2022Pat and Dylan are back to break down dyslexia, thrill seeking, facts, mutton, auras, Kim, Heather, Lisa, Jen, prison, apple juice, stripes, Sid and even more from Bravo's Below Deck Adventure. OUR NEW... SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING WINTER HOUSE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.comThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement
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But don't know.
Spray theory.
We have to see the sea rats thrust upon the unsuspecting guests, right?
And that's what we've been screaming out to prospective guests of these vessels.
Expect this and in turn, don't book the vacations.
Never do this.
Go do a carnival crew.
I mean, to feed you pig troth food, but at least you're not going to have someone screw
up your $60,000 vacation.
It won't cost as much and you will get food poisoning
from the frozen yogurt.
How? I'm not sure.
It comes in a bag.
You'll be puking up blood, but you won't spend $60,000.
Welcome aboard another Brands Banking New episode of Below Deck. It's another Below Deck podcast covering Below Deck adventure in Norway adventure.
I'm Dylan Saddle up next to one real pack.
Great to be here, permission to come aboard.
Permission granted.
So, how are we doing this evening?
We've got a crossover episode tonight. How fun. Yeah. Yeah. Are you you watch a real housewives of Salt Lake?
I pop in and out. I pop in and out now Heather is one of the best people on that franchise
Tonight I felt as though she was a little too on yeah
She has more space to you know, she has an entire season.
So she knows how to, you know,
take her foot on and off the gas.
Now, the thing about Salt Lake City,
and it pains me that we didn't cover that show, you know,
we chose shitty versions of the housewives
like Real Housewives of New York with Ebony K Williams
and Leah, which is just fucking I mean it almost killed the franchise
It was so bad. They're actually I don't even think they've renewed it yet. Yeah, they're gonna do two different whatever
Salt Lake City is
A little bit better than Potomac. It's fucking unbelievable and it's because
Gen Shaw is literally going to prison for what 14 years? I think it's a little less than that.
Yeah, I think she got less.
So she's really in a certain time.
Has she been sentenced yet?
I thought she did.
No, I don't think she's been sentenced yet.
Okay, well, that's an incredible part of the show.
But she caught a deal, so she'll probably do six.
So she's gonna, she rat?
She, she rat?
Well, everyone rat it on her, but she basically says,
look, we don't need to do a trial.
I'll just admit to doing this.
I admit my guilt.
We'll get some restitution going
and you'll get a reduced sentence.
I'll admit to ripping off the elderly.
Yeah.
Good for you, Jen.
So the other part of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
and we'll get into Beledicts in is the star power
of Lisa Barlow.
Now, there is no housewife like her.
She is nothing short of a full-fledged star.
I love her so much.
She's a horrible human being.
Well, yeah, good reality TV.
Good reality TV is you need someone you hate
and a good villain.
But the cast is singing on that show.
I'm sad we didn't cover it.
It's good to see Heather here,
but we don't really need her to be this on at 11.
But I want to get ahead of myself,
get into pods.
We have public service announcements to get to first.
And what do we want to plug here?
We always have so many things to pay.
We have a lot of bad TV and page ad TV.
Pad, bad TV is free.
Guys, get over there and subscribe to that.
We're doing Winterhouse,
and I think we're going to do Love After Lockup.
And we're going to just do fun, bad reality TV shows,
probably in the vein of TLC and in the Bravo world.
Kind of all kind of hang in there together.
Yeah, fun stuff coming.
We're gonna be doing some stuff with KC coming up
and another movie podcast is gonna be launching on Patreon very soon.
So stay tuned for that.
Oh, and don't forget APS, we're back.
We have a great show. We're Dylan and I have a lot of, and don't forget, APS, we're back.
We have a great show.
We're Dylan and I have a lot of people compliment us on our first APS, just the two of us.
We covered skin care, unbegivment, and I talked about how much my sister-in-law is a complete
bitch for 45 minutes.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievably cheap.
Unbelievably cheap, and we debated what is a worst quality, violent, hatred, or cheapness.
Now we did come on the side of like, you know,
violence and bigotry and stuff like that is for words,
but a close second is being stingy and cheap.
Never come, you know, visiting, not me,
coming out for a wedding of a friend's daughter.
My sister-in-law didn't come out for my wife
and I was a wedding.
Hey, the valet was 10 bucks.
Do you mind if we whack that up? What the fuck? Shut up. I'm not paying you for gas
We drove from the valley to Hollywood. Don't ask me for gas. All right. Let's get into the show
All right, can I start? Yes, of course. Okay, so this season starting to get good because we got you know
The ball of snakes is happening in that jacuzi. We already have both different staffs
starting to go at each other.
Sure, yeah, yeah.
Very mean-spirited way.
Oh, absolutely.
And this particular episode had one of my favorite moments.
I don't think everybody caught it,
but I do not know.
Found such enjoyment on it.
Let's see if I caught it.
Okay, this is when they do the tour
on the, what do you call it, Zip Line.
Yeah, yeah. And then they come back for some small bites
that were offered by Faye.
I think Casey does the splits
and Captain Kerry looks at her old grouse.
Well, that too.
No, no, no, but this is when Faye says,
where's the food?
I know the guest go, where's the food?
And Faye goes, oh, there's Rudolph over there
on the plate, you know, because I think it was a deer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I just laughed so hard
because I was like was a deer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just laughed so hard, because I was like,
connecting a beloved cartoon character
to a piece of a dead flesh on a plate.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a bad idea.
It's like, hey, would you like to try some rabbit dumplings?
Oh, sure.
Oh, well, they're over there.
It's the Easter Bunny's dead on a,
dead body's all carved up on a plate, enjoy.
I got it, got it, got it.
Okay, so can I go?
Yeah. Unbelievable that you thought that was that good of a I got it, got it, got it. Okay, so can I go? Yeah.
Unbelievable that you thought that was that good of a moment
because it just wasn't.
But it does point to just how bad Faye is at her job.
She's horrible.
I've never seen somebody quite like Faye.
She is kind of, I don't know, she's like a dying star
that's shooting off a lot of entertainment.
I'm happy that she's there, and that was a bad analogy,
but I can't think of a better one for her in this current moment.
Get back to your pockets.
Oh, okay, so I enjoyed that.
I love that Faye hates Mike.
Like, she really, Mike's the nicest guy ever on this show.
He's always respect.
Blurring.
Yeah, but she hates him for different reasons.
Why does she hate him?
I think she thinks when he's around, he uninspires people. Yeah, yeah, he's like the cooler, you know
Will you make me? He's scared anytime he comes over everybody just gets bummed out on mics here
Right, right, right because he's like hey, yeah, you want Mike to work for you. She's like absolutely not. Why not?
Right
He just bombs us all the personality of the steel that adorns the side of the deadliest catch vessels that he is on.
Get him away from this kind of luxury, but I would tell Fay,
you don't know what luxury is and it's certainly not,
hey, while you're feasting, let's read off some facts.
That was a really bad idea.
We'll get to it. Okay. How many pots?
40. Here's the issue that I have with the season.
I've called them dorks before.
They're like the C squad to me.
I don't want to say that it's because of the aesthetics. I'm not, it's not just looks.
It's not just looks.
I know I'm not trying to mess on people's looks.
We've talked about it before, I'm a four.
But it's that with the level of competency mixed
with the squabbles, it's all just dorks.
They're all dorks. You imagine being in the editing bay with this episode like
Josh
Andy call, he said he wants to leave in the Apple juice thing.
Man, that's like three minutes, nothing happens.
Yeah, I know, but we got nothing else, man.
We can dorks.
Hey, click it, click that, can you open that folder, the unwatchable folder?
We're gonna need to fill this episode out.
Uh, you sure?
Yeah.
Wow, that's a lot of fun.
That's a shit ton of footage, okay.
Do the, pick the apple sauce thing.
Let's fucking show this weird.
Got your pots?
Uh, zero.
Okay.
So last we left off, we were in the throes
of the low stakes mutiny of stripes, right?
Oh my God.
Well, I'll set the city
hours before charter lewis is getting a c-slug tugged in a hot tub in fey and case
here pretty pissed over a
three-inch piece of fabric i understand that it does have some meaning you know
it's a new and it's a good that but as humans i guess we never really stop being
uh... toddler
i want my milky well considered the funny games of human beings. Consider
the silly things that we wrap ourselves up in. Ross basking in the power of and over
the board shorts hand job because he ordered a new piece of fabric for Ariana. Ross or
Lewis. Lewis, excuse me. And then there's Ariana
basking in the victory of this undercover operation that she's pulled off. And then we've
got Faye thinking that this is a betrayal of cosmic proportions. It's all so goddamn fucking
stupid. And Faye is a little wonky, but she does hit the nail on the head when she says
Lewis is a beige person. He just, he is the color beige. I think that's Norwegian for basic.
So she decides, yeah. I was going to say just one other set to see in here because I do,
I appreciated Orianna's dedication to the working of the balls while maintaining a solid tughand.
That's too striped kind of bad. She deserves it. Yeah, I mean, honestly, I was looking at my notes
and I think you said something gross.
I'm not sure.
I tuned up for a little bit and then I just kind of,
and it's very dangerous.
I just kind of affirmed whatever you were saying.
Yes.
You know, it's like jumping in a car that's a getaway car
of a bank robbery, you thought it was your Uber.
And the people wearing masks should have tipped you off,
but you just weren't paying attention.
That's what just happened.
That's okay.
I'll remind you, a proper handy involves both hands.
Never do a one hand.
Right, right, right.
And Orianna, well done.
And don't have a powdery face while you're doing it.
So we rather quickly, you wouldn't want somebody to go down on you
with rolling their eyes, you know, completely take you out of it.
It's fucking ridiculous.
So we rather quickly roll into a paraphrased shit meeting about before we get there.
Yeah, it's something.
Oh, I did.
So Lewis does something.
I don't think he should be doing.
He's sharing the deets of that hand job with Mike.
And Mike goes, hey, as long as you're having fun,
that's all that matters.
Oh, except for the HR department
might have a problem with that power dynamic
and the inappropriate nature of that power dynamic
and the handy.
Oh, right, right, right.
Oh, wait, there's no HR.
Yeah, I know. There is no HR at all.
And Mike has solace in the fact that he's gonna hook up with Casey, right?
So she's gonna see that his aura is red.
And because of his red aura, she's going to bleed him a little bit.
She's gonna blood let him and probably use it as some kind of lubrication.
She scares the absolute fuck out of me.
She's, there's something going on with her that I can't put my finger on.
Me neither, nor do I want to.
That what I'm not trying to be sexual about.
I'm the, I, how, she just weirds you out.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, yeah.
So let's get to the pre-fetching meeting. This happens with no little to no pomp or circle.
It's 34 seconds.
You know, Heather Gaye, one of the, you know, all stars of Salt Lake City is going to be
coming on to the boat.
They want to go hard in Norway.
They've requested ziplining over the panoramic views of the forest.
And I'm certain to get a little crying of wolf here.
How many most scenics are we going to scenic here this season?
You know what I mean?
I mean, the troll road was one of the most scenic.
And they painted it into that, and not the fact that there were trolls in the caves on that road.
It's just really bizarre.
They kept telling about how scenic it was.
Then this zinec is, or this zipline is one of the most scenic views.
What's next, you know, the most scenic fucking fishing fucking something.
I don't know, you know, it's just too much.
Interesting little thing though, the guests have left it up to the sea rats to pick out
the dinner themes of the vacation.
Bad move.
But there's also lens creatives to the fact that
a prerequisite of coming on the show
is that there must be a theme to the dinners.
There has to be.
We've never had a charter where there weren't themes
to the dinner.
I think that this is production,
trying to throw an opportunity
of incompetence onto the paying guests.
Because if they didn't request a theme,
then they wouldn't have a theme.
No, there'd just be plates in it.
They were just being dented.
But don't know.
Straight theory.
We have to see the sea rats thrust upon
the unsuspecting guests, right?
And that's what we've been screaming out
to prospective guests of these vessels, expect this.
And in turn, don't book the vacations.
Never do this.
Go do a carnival crew.
Ever.
I mean, to feed you big trough food,
but at least you're not gonna have someone
screw up your $60,000 vacation.
It won't cost as much,
and you will get food poisoning from the frozen yogurt.
How?
I'm not sure.
It comes in a bag.
You'll be puking up blood
But you won't spend
$60,000 so fave voices are desire to have the exterior help with some of the parties now
This blows me away
Even if the exterior wasn't a man down in what world is this okay to do
was not a man down. In what world is this okay to do?
It's two completely different worlds.
One is wiping the shit off of toilets,
the other is dropping a big block of metal into the water.
The two cannot co-mingle.
But they do on these vessels still,
and you got to pitch in when the other team is down.
On a serious note,
because we could make fun of how interchangeable these positions are all day. And how reanimated zombies could do this job.
But, hey, fuck off, you have a full strength department.
There's no reason to be this
indignant about, you know, you needing these people. It just really, really
rubs me the wrong way and that is the end of the preference. So the next scene is what I'm talking about when I say dorks and B squad,
this is the hypothetical dare to drink
the four gallon sack of apple juice.
It's just, it's really dorky.
No one's gonna do it.
Starchild, who I'm calling Kasey,
Starchild says, I have no desire
to have that much apple juice in my body.
Very weird way to say that.
And deadliest catch has no real intention
of doing it because that would tear your organs to pieces.
So can we move on, please?
What do you want to hit next?
Lewis and Fay kind of go at it because they're discussing for the dinner.
Right.
Fay is going to need Nate and he says, well, Nate needs to sleep.
How about Mike?
Yeah.
And then Fay says, well, when Mike's around, I question my being.
Yeah.
And whether or not life is worth living.
She says, have you ever heard of a Dementor?
They literally suck portions of your soul
every time they pass by.
Mike does?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, have you been around you?
I feel bad for Mike, because he's such a sweet guy.
Although he does, get some pushback
later on with Fay. He does, but I think that I'm going to download the Tim Fowl cap here.
So, Fay is a survivor of being a target practice for beer bottles, right? And she's come up,
she survived. She has a little bit of a soul left. It'll be gone soon. But Lewis is immune to Mike because Lewis's beige,
Mike can take nothing from him.
He's an empty vessel.
Right, right.
So Lewis is like,
I've never had to do what you talked about.
You have no idea.
Well, then she takes another swing at Mike.
She says, Mike's useless.
Hey, you know who's useless
your hair style is uh... because she's either dead
or blind
because that hair you have in that o t f is what scare small children
got a guy so um...
we move on all well orion is wiping up pubes that second strike couldn't come
to any sooner
uh... like that's gonna help
fate um...
a uh... listen I couldn't come say any sooner. Like that's gonna help. Say, um, listen.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna move on.
I'm gonna move on.
I don't wanna call her a C++ and I'm just gonna move.
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So, she says something about a hand break on a canoe line and it was funny but even that
like, I don't want to shit on fan anymore.
We then go to Orianna who is speaking on how she wouldn't hook up with anyone beneath
her. Now like I mentioned 30 seconds ago, she was to quote her, fishing for pubes, right?
So if this continues, I'm going to get mean and I'm going to start saying things like
she looks like Sid for my sage.
Now I don't want to get to that place yet.
I'm mean enough.
But she's going to get me there if she keeps being conceded and talking
down to people.
I'm so unsure, everybody.
Because, don't make me call you sick for my stage, okay?
You are not a power climber.
You are rubbing, Lewis is slugging a hot tub, and the next day you're fishing pubes out
of fucking showers.
You are not climbing to any zenith, Orianna.
Well, but you know, because we've been doing this show, recapping it now, one of the fun things
I do is I identify new category. She's a seerat social climb. I like that. That's a new
angle there. Yeah, but she also points out, she goes, I don't know, she says it directly
or kind of hints at, she's not really in the fucking Louis, see? Right, right, right.
I mean, it's just that there's no one else around.
Sure, she's so calculated that this is her only mark.
And I love that you're, you've called her as she writes social climber because the rats
can't climb.
Their legs are too small to get up anywhere.
Dylan, I hate to, you know, I hate to.
Oh, that's contradictory.
Yeah, that's not true.
Dylan, my wife was convinced before we did the remod. She Oh, that's not true. Yeah, that's not true. My wife was convinced before we did the remod.
She goes, there's rats here.
And she starts, I don't like to poison, kill an animal,
even if it's a rat.
So that's my, I literally can't kill a fly.
So the wife starts up putting these...
Well, you can't kill a fly
because they're very hard to kill sometimes.
Exactly, exactly.
Unless you're Obama in an interview.
He caught it with his hand.
It was like that's the guy right there, man.
Well, that's when he was still smoking.
Yeah.
So I, I fucking, I, she put down the rat traps
and I'd throw them in the garbage.
Yeah.
Because I didn't want to kill, right?
Yeah.
And I was convinced there were no rats
and then one night we're actually having a party.
You might even been here.
And I just kind of look back at the house
because we're in the backyard. And I see a fucking rat climbing up the fucking wall like he's spider-man and then he zips right
into our attic vent just like that yeah yeah yeah no they can't climb and that's that's
mechalpa mechalpa they're unsightly pink hands can get them very high up in life, Orianna. So the guests arrive
Intense at schools are exchanged and I finally realized that this is Heather from Salt Lake. It took me this long to figure that out
Like I said, she's amazing nothing compared to Lisa Barlow because Lisa Barlow is a star on paralleled on the Bravo Network
But Heather is a better person so she is talking a lot, but she's saying important things,
chief among them, maritime law is hard to prosecute.
Ask any black woman who's experienced racism on the show,
it's almost impossible to run that up the flagpole.
And it's happened to at least-
There was a full investigation.
Yeah.
What investigation?
You mean you had it on camera
and you didn't do anything about it, Lee? He's a fucking Christ.
Unbelievable that in this climate someone literally said the N word to a woman of color
and nothing happened.
There was a full investigation.
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Did she commune with the Anunnaki while she was up on the dark side of the moon? Oh, is that who lives there? Yeah. You know, we haven't got into it. She's
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You make one spinach, I'm letting the rest just rot
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My wife before we got this,
Dylan was the queen of that.
And by the way, she's so mean.
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Two days later, it's going in the trash.
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Back to it, Spanacopita is wondering what to do
as she's not sure what Vikings eat.
Now they eat Bert Mutton and Psychodoc mushrooms,
I definitely don't serve that.
But it's time for Fade Awakup Nathan.
And she sends Sid to do it.
I shouldn't have done enough yet, I shouldn't have called her Sid.
Hey, we gotta have these sea rats on the show. Now I call her sit because of the way that she woke Nathan up. Now I know that she has to a job to do but she barges in and says Nathan Nathan.
Wake up five minutes. We're going to need you outside. Orianna, he's sleeping.
What is, a little bedside, what are they calling it?
Bedside banner.
Bedside banner.
It's just unbelievably rude.
Not only was he really disturbed and told
to be ready in five minutes, fuck off said.
He was supposed to do an hour and face,
snuck in an hour and a half.
I don't know, the kairons are flying off the screen.
It's a track.
We'll get to breakfast and a half. I don't know. The chirons are flying off the screen. Sorry to keep track. We'll get to breakfast in a second.
But I just, I don't think I'd like a single person
in the interior.
This is all so gross to me.
Yeah, I think you're right.
Louis says, you know, if he wakes up,
you can have him for an hour.
She wakes him up an hour and a half before he's asleep.
I think the guy honestly got like 43 three minutes sleep yeah i mean this is
what you know it on a serious note this is where it gets really dangerous with
people that are sleep deprived on these god damn boats yeah but i will say
nay it cuz actually my favorite person on the show so far
he's the one who actually offers to do this so he kind of went above above
yes over how you think what he's expression over beyond and above.
Yeah, but he basically said, don't, don't listen to Lewis,
that I'll do it. Well, so Nathan is a dormant, male whore, right?
He loves the attention, but still not cool to do.
And what does he get woken up for?
He gets woken up to go up in an helmet that's falling off of his head and holds an iPad in the air
Wearing the guests out and begging the question
Mike couldn't do that
Casey says something about the Vikings liking scream-o and Orianna asks weren't the Vikings before electronic music?
Well, they also brought a thousand years by a thousand years weren't the Vikings before electronic music?
Well, they also brought a thousand years, by a thousand years, I think,
and why did you phrase that as a quest?
Well, all of this was dumb with those Viking facts
and then what not.
And, you know, this is how you know,
you got to play to your audience.
These women, they're all bored as hell.
In fact, they're like, hey, let's get
Annie up the stakes here or something like that.
One of them says, hey, which one of you guys over there
want to face fuck a couple of us?
Right, right, right, yeah, yeah.
That's where it always goes, man.
That's where it always goes back to face fucking.
Always.
So, like we mentioned, they make the guests
extremely uncomfortable.
And the guests only recourse is really to do what the wealthy do aboard these vessels.
Try to get the searats to fuck one another.
And I don't blame them.
Like, you know, if it was us on the boat, I would throw a knife at them or so.
I would like, get away from me with your facts and your facts
that are incorrect. Why do Vikings not wear helmets? Well, they do wear helmets, but they
didn't have to get away. Go away. Let's get to dinner. First up, rustic lobster,
ravioli, rustic is the cure all culinary term for lazy plating. It's with an arabiyata, which lends a lovely spice
to the nude and the lobster.
Nathan begins with the facts here.
I cannot put into words how awkward this is, Fay.
You're just, what can we say?
You're brilliant at your job.
Next up, Veal Chop with Beat Purae done
in the anarchistic fashion of, we were texting about this, Pat said,
you know, this looks like one of Massimo Petura's plates
and I said, yeah, of course, she's ripping off Massimo Petura
and Captain Woodrow and Julie get brought up.
Do you want to take this?
I'm fine.
Yeah, who the fuck remembers?
So the dinner was good enough, 71 pots.
Okay. We placed some charades and Faye gets to bed saying, I feel
like I haven't been to bed for ages. Yeah, asking Nathan how he's doing. Faye. Casey
serves the Mormons and lets them know that she left the church as well. I'm confused
about the station of these people. They're their relationship with the Mormon well. I'm confused about the station of these people. They're their
relationship with the Mormon church. I'm pretty sure they left the church, but they're still
spiritual in that school. It's like any community. All your friends and family summer in,
summer out. So in some way, you're never fully out. Yeah. Welcome home, Heather. Now you're going
to have to repent.
So Nathan says that he likes helping the girls,
but he's missing out on sleep.
Yeah, well, don't be so thirsty to slap on helmets
and ruin people's dinners, okay?
Get some, get some z's.
So meanwhile, Nathan goes down early
and this is an issue.
The next day, Lewis wakes up and asks,
Carrie, if he knows what time Nathan went down to
which Captain Carrie obviously replies, I've got no fucking idea.
Carrie, what do you do?
So the Brakfast Order gets some really serious chirons this episode.
Never have I seen gunmetal and white typeface about scrambled egg whites, but thank you
for paying attention to the food.
You know, they're listening to us,
but I think that this was just a little bit too intense.
The orders get tweaked a bit,
and this is when Spanicopital loses patience
with Orianna, and this is when Orianna loses
any and all favor, anyone had left for her.
Let's talk about dyslexia.
Okay.
Dislexia is a disorder that everyone and
Anyone should shut the fuck up about unless you are a child or you're an adult who is joking about it
To earnestly say that you are scared of the vulnerability
That dyslexia bestows upon you in professional settings is nothing short of embarrassing. You know, we've talked about it before.
Are you dyslexic?
I'm definitely dyslexic.
No, I'm not.
I just hope we don't get any trouble with anybody.
Think we're being mean or aren't.
If we, if you know, if anybody has any trouble with us or me saying that dyslexia is not
a thing to victimize one self over.
Please leave a one star review
so I can read it next week.
Please, come on.
Now, Dylan, this is where I could relate to Oriana.
This is why I wasn't good in the service business.
Especially as I was younger, I couldn't,
I got really nervous when people would start
telling me to write stuff down.
And so I get all discombobulated.
And I get nervous and it make it even worse.
My supervisor at Whale and Park, Brian,
he really liked me.
And then one time I wanted to do a good job.
So he said, all right, get out your paper and pencil
and write this down.
And he was like, all right, you're going to go up
to the second warehouse and you're going to drop it.
And he starts listening, I just stop writing.
And he goes, you got that and I said yes.
And then I left.
With like, what was gonna be like four hours of task to do?
I didn't know where I was.
Okay.
All right.
How old were you?
14.
I said, if you're a child, it's okay.
Right. Now I had a stint at the Adam Corolla show I said, if you're a child, that's okay.
Now, I had a stint at the Adam Corolla show,
wherein I was the segment producer.
I was in charge of writing every single bio sheet
that went on to the host's little clipboards.
And each and every day, I made almost,
each and every day, made almost, each and every day I made a mistake,
be it a misspelled word or in,
more egregious fashion,
just getting the plugs completely wrong.
My first bio I screwed up was Russell Simmons
was coming onto the show,
he had a new show coming out on showtime.
I just put the wrong month down.
It's the complete wrong month.
Now,
listen, I didn't say that. That's not dyslexia.
No, it is dyslexia, misspelling words,
getting dates wrong, having things in your brain
get discombobulated, stop, listen.
Hey, Dylan, didn't you also do one of those bios?
You put right at the top of important things to discuss
when Anne H. came on.
Didn't you put that she was a drunk?
And she said, excuse me.
She said, can I have your pen?
I understand why you cross that out, Ms. H.
Stay away from podcasts in the middle of the day, huh?
Don't do that.
Resonepiece to Anne H. Okay, well, I don't want to be too morbid, but I mean, it's kind of like crazy.
She turned herself into a nuclear bomb essentially.
She turned herself into a missile.
Wild.
She sprung out of a body bag like a goddamn zombie.
That's... That's... That's...
That's...
That's...
That's...
That was so fucking mean.
It's not funny.
It's not funny.
All right, moving on.
This breakfast service is getting screwed up and Faye comes in with a slaughter of a
right hook.
She says, from now on, all do service,
you go make beds where you should be.
How's that ladder climbing working out, Oriana?
Now, I don't want to root against a young woman
because at the end of the day, who gives a fuck,
but she's just haughty and she's mean.
So, Lewis and Oriana have a cool conversation
about pockets and notes and tension,
and then we get to zip lining,
but not before Nathan.
Thinly veils a racist accusation at Lewis.
Did you catch that?
I did not catch that.
She said, Erie, he says that Lewis would not have done this to Mike in front of Captain
Kerry.
Oh, okay.
Maybe it's me just being a white guy, being scared of racist.
I don't know.
Here, there's a couple things being,
there's the drama that's happening,
and then there's things that took place before
that is kind of overshadowing it.
I'll give you two examples.
One, Faye, basically telling Orianna
to go clean the shit out of toilet,
that's had less to do with the egg order
that was discombobulated,
and more to do with that two stripes thing.
Okay.
Nate being mad about Lewis saying this, basically ratten him out to Captain Kerry.
I think he didn't do.
They were just kind of having the conversation up there.
Well, I think it has more to do with the dust up that Nate didn't feel like Lewis had
his back when that fucking hick from the middle of fucking nowhere who just got arrested again
was torturing his life.
And Lewis didn't go to bat form. It was so clear that that was a hostile work environment.
All right.
So let's get to some sea rat history with Casey.
Kim is her mother first, but also her best friend.
Her mom seems lovely.
I don't know how she could have raised someone who speaks like she wears people's skin.
Um, Casey, God damn.
She just spooks me the fuck out.
Casey does.
Yeah. You want to get to ziplining?
Well, I was going to say their discussion, it was interesting because after Casey hangs
up the phone, then we cut to her talking about that there needs to be some work to do in
life and something about like being her own person.
Right.
You know, not being like her parents.
And I was like, yeah, that's called being an adult.
We do shit that we don't do as a kid
and then you leave the house and then you can decide
what color you can have on your wall or your apartment.
Yeah, yeah, it's being an adult,
but she's kind of this bigger step that she's taking.
Yeah, it's pretty stupid.
Yeah, Casey scares me.
So let's get to the zip line.
Obviously the purveyors, if that's the right word,
of the activity, do that fucking,
some people die shit.
Yeah.
Oh, 90% of people make, would you people stop doing this?
Or the guy with the bungee jumping
for a second before it goes three, two, one.
Oh, wait, as they push you,
do you really get off on doing that to people?
I don't get why people,
you know, people have vices
and people are addicted to dopamine.
And I understand why people want to get that
kind of jolt in their brain.
I don't understand doing it when the possible outcome is death.
Sip lineings fine. There's lots of safety precautions and stuff like that, but the other day I saw
this this Instagram video of a guy who goes three, two, one, and then jumps off the thing.
He opens his parachute, he's too close to the rock.
Canopy gets all scratched up, he slams into the rock, he's like, oh shit, he bounces off,
now his canopy is all torn to shit.
Slams into another rock, and he is suspended 100 feet above, you know, the next tier of rock.
Now, in the caption, it said, I pulled myself up,
no one was coming to help me,
so I had to climb down with like a broken ankle
or something like that, and I'm just like,
dude, what?
Why do people do that?
Well, their brains, when they analyze their brains
after they're dead, which is always the result
of that kind of behavior, they have a different way their brain works.
They did it with that Oscar-winning documentary,
that guy who clad-
Alexander, yeah.
So he's a weird one though.
Oh my gosh.
You can tell that he's, there's something wrong.
During that doc, they covered like his friends and peers that are like free soloist.
Yes.
And it basically did like five back-to-back
of footage of just them dying.
Well, there was like a real sports
I remember a couple years back of this,
like very somber story about a husband and wife
who did squirrel suits and one died trying to go through
a donut hole in the middle of a Utah Red Rock
and it's like, and he perished that day and I miss him.
It's like, fuck it, of course he perished that day and I miss him.
Fucking, of course he perished.
You guys are in fucking squirrel suits on the edge of a fucking rock face.
Jesus!
You want to know something scarier than being just in the squirrel suit?
The guy behind him in a squirrel suit holding the fucking camera.
They all die.
They all die.
They all die.
All right, so, an usual Suspects Tech twist,
Casey has had massage training.
I feel like it's a prerequisite for a C-Rat,
you know, I'm flared with that career path,
but it's a typical career twist of a C-Rat
until they realize how petrified they are of roots,
so they need to flee to the open sea. It It's never gonna work. Now I'm not here to
fuck spiders. Captain Kerry says something like that. I'm telling you he's Aussie Captain Lee but with a better back.
I'm telling you he's got a little bit of a better attitude but he loves the lenses. He says things that don't make sense.
He's a little creepy. I'm telling you. He's the other side of the coin.
Now, Picnic Rockstar drinks snacks back to the boat and we end with the splits with Casey,
while Captain Kerry looks on him, that horrific root off comment, I think.
Right? Thanks for the service.
Is this where this is? I think so.
And then we end with Nathan almost dying evidently.
Well, it didn't have an ending.
They started running the credits,
and I was going to turn the TV off,
and I'm like, wait, hold on, hold on.
Well, you could have, yeah, and then he trips down the stairs.
Because that's quite a cliffhanger there.
Yeah, and he, I think the worst that could have
possibly happened to him is the wind knocked out of him,
perhaps an ankle twist.
Nothing really at all. Oh, you don't think he's going to amputate that leg out of him, perhaps an ankle twist, nothing really at all.
Oh, you know, he's gonna amputate that leg.
Below deck, what are you doing with the,
I know that, you know, we can't ask too much,
but this has just become quite the trope
of your television program.
Guys, we love you very, very much for supporting us.
Join us in the review section with kind words and one stars.
Or one star if you have a problem with a dyslexia thing,
but also don't do one stars, we need five stars,
please, 1500 reviews by Christmas,
or we're putting this thing behind a paywall, right?
That sounds fair to me.
That's it for us, join us on Patreon.
We love you guys very much.
I'm so bad at ending shows.
I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat.
Say goodbye.
Later, dudes. ending shows. I'm Dylan saying goodbye Pat, say goodbye. Later dudes! The Chumba Life is for everybody. Whoa, take it easy, Judy. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- Wells Fargo presents one of the surest ways to grow your money. A Wells Fargo CD account.
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