Another Below Deck Podcast - Hot Soup Hot Day | Below Deck S1 E8

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

Pat and Dylan are back to break down lime water, alcoholism, food chains, cocktails, running away, exemplary employees, alcoholism and more from Bravo's Below Deck.PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Now, we have to get to lunch. It is lentil soup. The lentil soup is hot as fuck. And the guests want it chilled. So Ben hatches a plan. Pour it into a steaming tray. Have the knuckles of a very hairy white trash guy. Yeah.

Move that, a bag of ice around on top of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll slam two bags of ice in the soup and then we'll just start moving them around. Now, I don't know if the, um, The plastic will lend any kind of flavor to the lentil soup. But I'd like to think that it will. But luckily, these are tongueblind morons. They say it's delicious.

Night Falls. Hi, hello. Welcome to another brand spanking new episode of the page. an exclusive recap of welcome aboard it's below deck season one i'm dylan settled up next to patrick kicky oh man i'm so sad that we're ending our journey here where this is the guess the next to last episode oh would you quit moping i got to deliver i'm trying to pull together the core three from interior for our final episode episode 10 the final charter got a lot of work i got a

You do, okay. Do you hear that? No. The reason I tell you to stop mopen is because we got plenty more from this season. We got reunions. We got stuff to get into. But we're also going to go to the next season, season two. Oh, well, are we making that announcement?

Yeah, we'll always be doing from the vault below deck on Patreon. I feel like, right? I know I hate to have our business meetings on air, Dylan. But perhaps because we have so much content. You're not getting paid enough. You want more? No, no, no. We have so much content behind the paywall at this point.

You know, for the month of October, we got the APS's. Love is blind. We might want to put our season two coverage, a blow deck on the free feed. Just saying. Just saying. No. Well, we might want to take a break from season two coverage, but. Fucking people aren't getting that fucking shit.

for free. I don't know. We'll think about it. All right. Let's talk about it. You know, I hate when you do that. We were having a business meeting. I know. Do you think Barry Gordy negotiated the Motown contracts on primetime television? No, absolutely not. That'd be stupid. It would be fucking crazy. Fools air. Let's get into the episode. I did not like it. You didn't like this episode. No. Huh. But this is... Five pots.

That's your thoughts and nuts. but Lee was a extraordinary assort. Worst the first one that we did. Really? Last one. Yeah, that whole fire thing. Hmm. Yeah.

Well, I don't know. I forgot what happened. Five pots. Okay. Well, I liked it, I think. How does it end? Oh, Dylan. You missed how Sam and CJ, they decided to drink a couple.

coronas in the ocean. Yeah. Because they got caught doing that. By the way, they had said they were going to have off doing, well, they lied a little bit. All right. To be fair, they lied. And the conflict resolution for that error of judgment is they're going to ding them

their tip money, which is wildly illegal. And this is signed off by Captain Lee himself. That was crazy. I think it's fine. Well, but it does, you know, we have laws. We have labor laws. Not out at sea. Well, that's a fair enough point, but let me...

Yeah, it's a fair enough point. Let me throw an analogy at you. Okay. You work at, um... This sounds like a... Walmart. You work at Walmart. Yeah, this sounds like the beginning of a porn.

Okay, fair enough. Boss catches you with a natty light on your lunch break. Yep. Okay? He tells you he won't fire you, but you're not getting paid for the last two days of work. That's what happened here. I think it's a fair tradeoff. Someone called Johnny Cochran.

did he take workplace suits i'm sure he took everything he's a lawyer well i mean you're not going to go to a mergers and acquisitions lawyer and go hey i fell and the handicap wasn't right yeah i think johnny was uh a general lawyer he'd sue anybody for anything oh like a general practitioner yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you know i got my blood work back yesterday yeah how to go thankfully knock on wood all all good. But my vitamin D levels are low. I've been taking vitamin D every morning.

What is in these pills? What would deplete your vitamin D? Is that? Well, never going outside. Oh, okay. But I take vitamin D because I don't go outside. Yeah, you've got to get some sun every once in a while. It's a balance, though.

When was the last time you had blood work done? For my life insurance policy? How did it look? Good. Clostral good? I got a million dollars insurance policy, so yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, don't tell any.

Does Sheree know that? No. She thinks it's less because I don't want to die. Yeah. That's a good. What did you tell her? I said seven. $1,000.

It's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's not worth killing somebody over. No, definitely not. No. Unless you're like the sultan of Brunei and you just want to kill somebody. You don't even need the money.

I didn't know he was a violent leader. You want to get in the episode? No, I want you to give your pots. Oh, okay. I really like the episode. out 40 knots. Yeah, that's getting on the episode. Okay.

Okay. The show begins with Cat after, the day after she... Rough night. Well, she nearly escaped Alcatraz. And I do want to use this as an analogy. Alcatraz and this vessel at this point aren't too different. Think about it. Captain Lee kind of looks like Sean Connery.

Exactly. You are out in the middle of the ocean. Yeah. Okay. CJ kind of looks like Nick Cage. You're bunking next to people. people that have mental disorders, right? That's also prison.

Yep. One of these people could, well, one of these people ends every sentence with the word, darling. He's insane, right? It's Alcatraz. I feel bad for these sea rats. Also. Adrian's like the warden. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

I like that. Porcupine is like the sympathetic corrections officer who smuggles drugs in for everybody. He's Andy Dufrain. Yeah. Andy Dufrein. No. And there's also sharks in the water. Can't go out there because there are sharks.

Killer whales. Yeah. And the bloated bodies of the people who have jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge to kill themselves. Oh. Yeah. Imagine swimming. You're all fatigued. You're almost at the other shore.

Oh, whoa. Holy shit. You run into that thing. Spikes your heart rate up, you die. Landmines all throughout that bay. That's why it's such a perilous prison to go to. Yes. Thank God they close that. By the way, what an unsightly thing?

Why obscure a beautiful view in a beautiful city on a hill with a fucking prison? I love that. That's such a good point. Why the fuck? Did you put that there? Why did you put that there? That's such bullshit. I would have fought against it if I was, if they had a, what do you call that?

The neighborhood watch, not the neighborhood watch. What's my wife's on it? Mother's against junk driving. No, no, no, no. You're talking about your neighborhood and you're bitching about it online. What's that called? Town. No, no.

Like, suspicious car parked on whore tents, and then all the people chime in on it. Oh, you're talking about, like, postmates, something like that? No, I'm talking about where you talk about. Anyway. Next door. Next door. That's what I'm talking about. They didn't have next door back then.

But if they did, I would have been on there every minute of the day. Oh, what about citizens? Is that one of those complaining websites as well? What's that one about? Ah, crime. Okay. You get live looks at crime. So, CJ is the one to give Kat a little lesson.

He says, this isn't democracy. It's a boat. And Lee is the communist leader. CJ is a retard. I mean, he's unbelievably stupid. He's not the brightest star. Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. You know what's odd about this? Because he's comforting Kat at this moment, right? He wants to comfort her. You know, what she did was pretty crazy. But it's Nash that actually steps up, Nash, the double agent. Yeah. You know, if you remember this, he tells her, he doesn't like when she's blackout drunk.

Yeah. She owns it, though, and then he tells her to keep a low profile. Hey, Nash, get the fuck off this show. Okay, Pagoda, I don't know why the fuck you're here, man. Well, they never had him back. She was going to make the case to Captain Lee that what she did wasn't exactly smoking crack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, wait, I feel bad about dropping the R word.

And I feel just beep it. Nah, it's fine. Okay. It's okay to say no. I heard. Is that it's back? Yeah, I think it's back. Oh, cool.

CJ said, though, it's not a democracy. It's a boat. And Lee is the communist leader, which is a sloppy way of, I think, correctly saying that the boat is... Is an island. the USSR or something like that you know but still a really dumb way to say it though i agree with your sentiment though oh yeah me too so two vegans they like green juice i love chefs freaking out

about veganism now this is 10 years ago was this as pervasive uh back then as it is this was at an era where in an era where chefs had not put on their thinking caps and you know it was essentially just tofu. That's like what you had to give to vegans was tofu. Don't forget that green juice. Green juice. Now you have jackfruit. You have tons of stuff. Oh. So Ben has something on his chest. He tells Kat that he's got to get something off his chest. And that's something is that he thinks she is a demonic trailer park trash refugee. Balls in your court, darling. Yeah.

By the way, I want to say, I like Ben. I don't. My wife laughed when she heard this come out of his mouth. I will say pretty redundant. A little redundant. I think the redundancy is the point to really drive home the insult. But I would tell Ben that the insult wasn't what was on your chest. It was more the broad kind of critique of the behavioral pattern that you were watching that wasn't too good.

Um, the insult is just, uh, you know, whether you want to call it, uh, it's, it's the vessel that you use to communicate what is on your chest. But the insult isn't necessarily the thing that's on his chest unless the thing that was on his chest really was that he wanted to call her a white trash trailer park refugee demon. Mm-hmm. I, and I, it's worth. She's upset by it.

Oh, of course, as she should be, because they were just spilling sea rat fluids on each other the night before. Right, right, right. It's pretty fucking rude. Oh, yeah. He didn't have a problem with her being a trailer park white trash demon refugee one. When he was fucking her tits. Exactly.

Yeah, I'm a scumbach. So Ben walks off into the kitchen and cat is laid waste. Now, this is a gross thing to say, obviously. But this is what drunks do, whether it's victimization or hyper-defensiveness or kind of frothing at the mouth, kind of rabidity, anything they can do to keep alive the parasite that loves them more than they love themselves. And that is exactly what cat is partaking in. And you know, I met a lot of drunks in my day. And you are my favorite of them. Can I tell you something? You have a problem with alcohol. Of course. But you don't, you are, you are not toxic because of it. You handle it. I mean, kudos to you, sir. Thank you.

I mean, it's really a brave thing you do. I also have this magical reset button. We'll see if it still keeps going this way. Yeah. If I start getting a little crazy with it, I will naturally dial it back. Boom. Just like that. you know, I've met a lot of drunks who aren't capable of that kind of thing, you know?

Yeah, we've known a few. What are you looking at me like that for? Oh, no, I don't know. Thank you for saying those things. Oh, dude, I really mean it. I think that you are a perfect alcoholic. I really do. So Ben gets a little more drunk.

This is the kind of the lashing out at other people when you're getting accused of having a little bit of an alcohol problem. Right, right, right. Well, first off, it's worth mentioning Adrian, the once enemy of Kat. Yeah. It takes time to comfort her. She is human after all. This is Scar holding out his hand and then ripping Mufasa off the wall. But Kat goes, Ben gets more drunk than anybody.

But he holds it together better. Yeah, no shit. Cat, you, you turned into Ethan Hunt last night and tried to get off the boat. You slid down a stripper pole that was not contextually a stripper pole in that moment. Kat, you're a fucking filthy drunk. I mean, I'm sorry to say. Look, still young, she can pull it back. I can't wait to talk to her, have her on the show.

We definitely won't bring these things up or maybe we will. How are you doing with booze, Kat? you listen you tell me where I can go where I can't go because this is what happens you start twiddling your thumbs with these fucking sea rats you you're going hey let me tell you this is what you got to do to make it okay PR does this PR does this stay in this lane don't go in this one right they go oh thank you so much and you go listen and lay off they're my friend like what are you doing now you're looking at a DM now from a sea rat right oh yeah chef dave just canceled on us can you believe this bullshit yeah yeah yeah honestly

are you were saying well i was saying that you it's my way of of deflecting responsibility for not asking hard-hitting questions because you strike up a relationship with these sea rats and then you go hey they're good people you know don't you go you go don't be rude to my friend that kind of thing all right so we move on i was going to say are we still on ben or we have the guests arrived no jean simmons is uh is arrives and his is talking to his daughters about eggs now i think one of the daughters orders eggs and he tells her you know honey it's it's a disgusting thing to eat animals offspring you know Is that what he said?

I think something like that. All right, so let's back up a little bit. So when the guests arrived, the sea rats quickly note that these quote unquote vegans love leather bags. Now, unless Keith, you're calling him a Gene Simmons, unless Gene Simmons really decided to become a vegan because he cares for animal welfare, I don't think that you can levy that hypocrisy against them. Some people just think they're going to be healthier by eating vegetables as opposed to chewing on dead flesh.

I saw this fucking vile bitch on Salt Lake City recently. Listen, if you eat good quality meat or if you eat bad quality meat, depending on your socioeconomic station or status, it's nowhere near as bad as I think it's one of the new people on Salt Lake City. got those Versacee kind of motorcycle glasses that she wears all the time and she boasts about how it's mink and it's it's this and it's that and she it's just it's it's one thing to be a part of the food chain it's another thing to uh take sadistic pleasure in being on top of the food chain you know like eating things is one thing wearing and you could say it's an arbitrary line to draw, but, you know, eating a cow is different than wearing an alligator on your legs. You know, one is a little bit more of a thumbing the nose that the animal came here.

Fair enough, Dylan. And I'm trying to lean more towards being a vegetarian in my own life, but no judgment to others. But I'd argue. Are you really? Yeah. I'd say 90% of my meals are vegetarian. Would you ever go hunting? No.

Couldn't pull the trigger. And by the way, once again, no judgment. It's just not for me. I killed an animal when I was 10. I had a BB gun, and I pointed it at a bird that was sitting on a branch. I don't know what it was in me. Maybe the human condition is we need to do that or feel we need to do that. I did it.

The bird died at my foot. It was an ancient urge that took over. And it was pointless. Why did I kill this thing? I've been talking about it now. Yeah, haunted. Not haunted. I felt so bad.

about it. Yeah. And I don't know why I did. I regret it. I'm going to teach my kids to not do that. Ellie was already trying to choke Jackie the other day. And I was like, don't hurt Jackie. Yeah.

He's not good eating. Mm-hmm. If Ellie did choke Jackie to death, would you eat it? Well, you'd have to. I mean, you'd disrespect the body. You got to use all parts, which, oh, sorry, to go back to what you were talking about. You'd have to render a lot of that meat out. All right.

I'm okay with someone wearing alligator faces on their fucking feet. if someone killed that alligator and then they ate all the meat and they fried it up and use the toes for our children's toys. We do not treat alligators the way the Native Americans treated the buffalo, right? Use all parts. And that is why we slaughtered millions of them. You know what we used to do the buffalo? I think I've talked about this before.

We'd heard them off cliffs. Oh, yes. Well, it's expediting the process fairly quickly without having used weapons. Oh, yeah. I mean, my God. We didn't even have rounds big enough to take down buffaloes. I mean, those things are massive. It's so sad.

Life is sad. Life is also happy. You know, I've been listening to this book called the Psychology of Money, and we can talk about it at another time. All right. We learn the makeup of the guest, Dylan. We have a divorce couple with new partners. So divorcees and their daughter.

And then with the new people that they're dating. Now, some would argue that this is evolved. No wonder the daughter is pissed off. Would you argue that it's evolved? I would argue that it's a little insane. Well, before my wife stopped talking to her dad, every holiday, her parents are divorced, and they would be at our house celebrating Thanksgiving or Christmas with their new partners. Right.

But that's later on down the line. Yes. And that is not when Sharia is a child. Right. I don't know how new this divorce is. It seems like it's fairly new and I think that the daughter is suffering and I think it's fucked up. Teenagers act out. Although she's not a teenager because she's drinking some cocktails, right?

What is she? 21. Didn't look at it. But turn a blind eye. Lee let Alex, what? He lets Alex know that he's doing a good job. And this is the kind of manic insanity of an insane manic. It's just weird.

This is the kind of thing where you can't act like a complete fucking tyrant one day and then go, hey, I just want to tell you, you're doing a great job. People will be like, you know, that girl in the back of the car who's her sister's crying going to Disneyland. I mean, you just look at people like, what the fuck is wrong? Are you unwell? So, CJ hatches a plan. All right, this is the best part of the episode. I'm staying at Susan's. Sam's staying at Sandy's.

No one will know the wiser. Well, hold on. Dylan, you might be skipping around here a little bit. Didn't we at this point, isn't this the lunchroom conversation with Lee and CJ? Doesn't this happen before? No, no, I don't think so. I think so. Really? yes so why could be wrong no i don't think so okay forgive me then no i don't think so i'm not sure though

all right it it where is this i don't know it's wrong as well let's sleep chilling that falls sometimes beans sprouts maybe i did pass over it i don't i'm not seeing that in my notes i don't know how Should we do an edit point here? No, no, no. Let's just take it back. So we're in the lunchroom.

CJ tells Lee, he's always the exemplary employee, and then proceeds to weave quite a excuse why he can't clean the waterline area, which is just to describe. On the exterior of the boat, there's barnacles. We know how disgusting they are. They're always crawling up, and there's also the lime water accumulates on the vessel. I would assume that hinders the ability for the vessel that... Cut through the water. Exactly. So on occasion, sea rat needs to get down there with a little scraper and start scraping

those fucking barnacles off there. Yeah. So turns out, though, that area, according to CJ, accumulates a lot of bacteria, you know, because a bunch of barnacles are getting scraped off there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And last time he did he nearly lost a fucking foot. Yeah. Okay?

So for that reason, he can't scrub the bottom of the... The doctor told the... last time there isn't enough penis. Can you give me a clapper? Take two. There isn't enough penicillin in the world that could save you if it happens again. Right.

And when CJ tells Lee this, Lee chooses food like some kind of fucking farm animal and says something to the effect of you're a lying little sack of shit He says you're full of shit and he's also a douchebag. Yeah.

On rare occasions, Lee and I can't agree. On this, we are simpatico. I don't know that they are, I'm not simpatico with Lee because I think that CJ has two issues. One, he's too high ranking to do this. Fine. Two, which I agree that CJ's seeing that Lee's got it out for him because CJ opened his him out there in the fire drill exercise. I called him a crazy old bat.

Two, I think that regardless of how true this is, if an employee tells you that they have a medical problem and they can't, maybe you don't hire them back. But you can't tell them that they're a fucking lying piece of shit. I totally agree with you on that one. However, Lee does bring up a good point. Well, I've seen you swimming in certain areas. and, by the way, bacteria lives amongst us.

It's how we survive as animals. It's everywhere. By the way, you want to know something really creepy. Got biome. What are they called? Plosobia plant? If you get a microscope on your eyebrows right now, there's a bunch of creepy crawlers crawling around on your eyebrows.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bacteria is everywhere. Yeah. Okay. So CJ, realizing Lee ain't buying it, is quite upset, and it gets ugly fast. And CJ... I mean, our eyebrows are like a planet to them.

Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. It's like its own civilization. Did you ever see the end of the final scene of the original men in black, the first movie? So we... I was an odd. I put that on the other night and I was like... The first one?

Yeah. It's an awesome movie. Nah. No? I didn't think it was that good. Well, they're kind of discussing the, like, what... It's the tail end of the movie. They destroyed the alien person or whatever.

And then the last shot... What's that guy's name? The actor who plays it? Yeah. The guy was in that Stanley Kubrick film. Yeah. Vincent Dinoffrey. Yes.

He's awesome in that movie, in my opinion. The final shot is Earth. And then the camera pulls away into a galaxy and then a universe. And then something bigger than that. And then it is literally an alien that is gigantic. And it puts all the galaxies in a little like a little handbag like you put your, your marbles. Yeah.

Well, the galaxy was contained in the cat's necklace. That's right. The cat's collar. Wasn't that the second one? I thought it was the first one. Maybe it's the first one. That's my point, though. You know what?

I watched the other day and I told you this. What? I couldn't. I had such a great time with it. Blade. We talked about this. I love that movie. It's so good.

Have you seen the second one? No, but I started watching. Alien vampires. Oh, that's right. It starts off with the movie. guy saying he hates vampires and the things come out of his mouth. They're well-made movies. Don't sleep on Blade.

Don't sleep on Blade. Blade is fucking awesome. So anyway, CJ's reprimanded him because of this. Well, I do want to say this. Lee, apparently, when they fight, Lee quotes the late great former murderer of his baby mama, Robert Blake, killed the baby mama right around the corner from where we're recording right now

at Vitello's, Robert Blake. Yeah. He says, and that's the name of that tune. That's the famous line from the character Barretta, Robert Blake. He was a big Beretta fan, apparently. Oh, God. And that's the name of that tune.

That's disgusting. I caught that one. Anyway. So, CJ Hatch is a plan. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Let's hop in the water while Lee goes golfing. And so, Sam tells Nash that she needs a break. She won't tell Adrian.

There's all this, you know, secrecy about this. I can give the break. down if you need it, Dylan. So this plan that's hatched for quite the Monday fun day will involve lying to superiors using Nash as a frontman and getting drunk while on charter, but they've been working their asses off. So they deserve this, Dylan. So the plan of Sam pretending she's going to help Nash with an Excel thing will go off with a hitch. That was the whole thing. She needs to help Nash with Excel. Right. Until Porcupine will eventually catch both of them red hand with Corotolites in their hand, but fuck it, there's only one charter left.

Yeah. Right? What are you going to do? None of this matters. It's very existential. Yeah. None of this means anything. Yeah.

It's like metamorphosis, but with sea rats. Hey, Dale, before we move on, do you mind if I back up for a second? When Ben checks in on Cat, I think he was hoping to get his wang-wang-tugged. He's confused why Cat's upset. If you remember, early in the episode, he called her a trailer park. You know what. Anyway, she notes, because he called her demonic, it's interesting she didn't take issue with that white trash trailer park,

refugee park. That's a joke I told it on an earlier episode. Sorry. I forgot I told that. Well, no, I love that he's like, I'm not here to psychoanalyze cat. I mean, she's a fucking drunk. You forgot to call her darling, too.

I'm not here to psychoanalyze cat, darling. He's not nearly as charming as I remember him. I never remembered him or thought of him as charming. So they head out to, well, porcupine head catches them and tells them to get back on the boat. But who the fuck is Alec? Well, he's in charge at that point because Captain Lee's fucking on the links. No, no, no. This is CJ's mind.

Oh, okay. Who the fuck is Alec? he's a child he's a fucking child fuck that guy let's go fucking suck face and drink beer in the water now the three of them

the higher ups head out to a hydroponic growing chamber nothing like a fresh pepper nothing like a fresh pepper and this is when Sam and Porcupine once Porcupine head gets back Sam and he have a little bit of a chat

he doesn't know what he's going to do but he's leaning towards ratting. Now we have to get to lunch. It is lentil soup. The lentil soup is hot as fuck. And the guests want it chilled. So Ben hatches a plan.

Pour it into a steaming tray. Have the knuckles of a very hairy white trash guy. Yeah. Move that a bag of ice around on top of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll slam two bags of ice in the soup and then we'll just start moving them around. I don't know if the plastic will lend any kind of flavor to the lentil soup, but I'd like to think that it will.

But luckily, these are tongueblind morons. They say it's delicious. Night Falls. Yes. It is worth noting here. Ben, he was really kind of setting the standard for how chefs would talk about paying gas. He says, if they fuck with you, darling, you fuck with them.

Meaning... Great attitude. Great attitude. So, Night Falls. Nightfall. Cat and Sam have a chat about CJ. Sam is talking about CJ once again coming on too strong. Would you shut the fuck up about this?

My God, they're in the ocean making out with each other. And she's like, God, he's so all over me. She also mentions he's a horrible kisser. If he's a horrible kisser, you grossed out by him. Why are you making out with him when the sun is in the sky? Again, I said last episode, I get it if you're horny at 2 o'clock in the morning. But not now. Well, any, what is it?

Any ship in a storm? Yeah. So we get a little bit of a grease fire. I loved what he did here. I didn't. You didn't? Because he did some math, some quick math. And I think he lays it out there.

He puts a little too much oil in the goddamn pan. It starts a fucking fire. Could burn down a $22 million super yacht. What are you going to do? $22 million a super yacht or just throw the fucking $12 pan in the ocean. Next thing you know, a fucking dolphin swallows it. Next thing you know, we got a ban pots. that's my problem and the other issue is that in order to light that canola oil on fire you would have had to have that pan so fucking unbelievably hot the way that it would be like if you turned a burner on and then went and did heroin for a couple hours and then came back and squirted a bunch of canola oil in it that's what would happen i don't know how he got the pan that hot and i did not like that after he was done he threw it in the ocean

A whale shark ate that swallowed, died. We don't have pots anymore. Why do you throw it in the ocean? Why do you have to do that? My God. So, night falls. Nightfall. Nope, we already did that.

Oh, I did like how the daughter, I think it was in an earlier conversation, called her dad a fat fuck after the came of a vegan. I've seen that happen. Oh, I went full vegetarian in college. I gained like 50 pounds. Well, fries are vegetarian. So is peanut butter. So is granola bars.

Sourdough. Jack, I mean, the list goes on and on and on. Sauteed bean sprouts are not neat. Neither is a medley of mushrooms. Neither is the yellow curry that was served for lunch. You get it again. Hope you don't say anything. And a red sesame tofu.

The yellow curry laid at the bottom of the plate is what they had for lunch. So Alex and CJ have a chat. CJ says I had a beer in the middle of the day but other than that I didn't do anything wrong which is akin to somebody in a smash and grab being interrogated saying I stole a bunch of shit from Neiman Marcus

but outside of that I did nothing wrong tell stupid people yeah CJ's really dumb he's not a bright guy and this is when can I oh sorry no no no go ahead

go ahead okay so um uh what is that show about well there's a bunch of shows about like court cases on daytime television judge wapner one time this guy oh my god he's getting sued another guy suing a guy for punching him in the face when he was sitting in his car he's like this guy owes me like 10 grand he punched me in the face right the other guy that punched him in the face is there and judge wapner asked the guy he goes all right so you punched him in the face what happened here. And he goes, well, I thought he was someone else. So I don't think I owe him any money. You know, it was a mistaken identity. Yeah. Wapner goes, you have you punched him in the face. You broke his jaw. Yeah. So you owe him $20,000. And he was confounded. He's like, hey, when I punched him,

he wasn't the guy that I thought he was. The defendant will now take the stand. Listen. I did kill her, but I thought it was someone else. I didn't mean to kill her. I meant to kill somebody else. I shouldn't be convicted of murder because I didn't mean to do this murder.

Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. And to me, it's insane that people think that way. Well, it sounds pretty airtight to me. And if you let the person go, they do have to think about, you know, I've already gone through this. So if I really do want to kill again, this is what I might have to face. That's right.

And if the person is killed, let's say Wapner sees that guy again and he punches the actual guy he meant to punch in the face. I mean, let's say there's no suspect. we've got one. Dave has an intervention with Kat. Oh, yeah. This is one of the nicer things. He calls her a drunk like most of the people that work with her, but he does it in a nicer way.

It's the nuance of communication. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He says, listen, if you need somebody to not drink with you, I'll not drink with you. Dave is such a sweet human being. He's the only one on this boat that is actually a decent human being. You know, Porcupine Ed, I understand. He's got a little bit of a chip on his shoulder because he's dealing with a tyrannical maniac.

But Dave is just through and through a good human being. Thank you for your service. So, Alex and Lee have a chat once the guests depart. And he tells him about what CJ and Sam did. And he hatches the idea. Let's dock their pay or fire him. And Lee says, I like it. I like it a lot.

And he goes, I got an idea. You've been so goddamn excellent over this charter. Why don't you handle the tip? Oh, convenient. The tip where we have to present an ultimatum over the worst tip of the season. Yeah. Thanks for letting me handle this one on my own. Now, not the worst.

The worst was four grand. This is five. But it's going to be whacked up into $500 each person. And that fuck Nash and Fred, they all get to take a piece of that cheddar too. Yeah, yeah. So we end this episode with that ultimatum. Will you get fired? I guess you'd work two more days or do you want $200 less dollars in your pocket?

Yeah. It's quite the ultimatum. And does Eddie offer his $200 here or in the next episode? I think it's the next episode. Eddie offers $200 to Sam and he says, We got a job to do! Night of the Roundtable, that kid. All right, that's it for us.

Jump in the iTunes, ratings and reviews. No, comments. Tell us, what do we want them to say? Hmm. Do you want us to do season two for free or keep it behind a paper? No, no. That's a bad one. Everyone's always going to say free.

Yeah. And we're, no, I don't want to. Now, let us. know um your favorite vegetable oh i like that because of the vegans or let us know have you ever tried to be a vegetarian how much weight did you gain yeah yeah yeah oh better what do you weigh that's it for us i'm dylan saying goodbye pat say good later dudes No. No.