Another Below Deck Podcast - How To Get Away With Drinking | Below Deck Down Under S2 E14

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

Dylan and Pat are back to breakdown Shelob, slow response times, sauces, palate cleansers, Talk To Me, Pina Coladas, Fredo, Stamina, computer skills and much more from Bravo’s Below Deck Down Under. Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@BadT.V.Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/

Who was the person that helped him? Oh, was it Joao that helped him with those great computer graphics for the card? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Culver says about Joao's ability on Pages, the word processing application on Macs, that he's good at computers. Yeah. Which is a very potato farmer thing. Like, are you an old potato farmer? I'm like, he's pretty good at computers,

so I gave him the card duties. I thought my... What the fuck? Hi, hello, and welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. My name's Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one, Patrick Hickey. Great to be here. Permission to come aboard. Granite. White Claw tonight, huh? Oh, yes.

Kaelin. Hi. What's up,'s up dude not much how are you doing uh i'm well i love this show so much me too it's so fantastic not just when you compare it to like the pantheon of reality television i'm not talking about legacy i mean obviously what was that episode of uh housewives where they all go to the place and everything gets crazy and Bethany Frankel says, take us in. You know, like there are obviously like Mount Rushmore. Is that why I had sex with a pirate? Something like that. Don't be uncool. I'm not talking about moments and I'm not being very clear right now.

What I'm trying to say is this reality television show compared to other Bravo, is just as good as other Bravo shows. How dare I say better? It's phenomenal. I will put, first off, let's all admit this to ourselves. Summer House and Winter House suck. They absolutely are not nearly as entertaining as a single standalone episode of Blue Dock. And a Requiem plays for Carl and Lindsay.

Who could have seen that coming? But we're not here to talk about those bad shows. Absolutely not. I hate those shows. I want to say this too, Dylan, and add on to this. God, I hope they I hope Down Under comes back. I have a bad feeling that we won't see that franchise

again. I just have a bad feeling. I have a bad feeling that somebody told us that it wasn't coming back and I have a bad feeling that me and you were both like, upon hearing that, what? How does that make any sense? The show's so good. First off, I think we can all agree as barnacles or listeners to this podcast, most of us would say two episodes a night, a little too much, a little too much. But that being said, that's the only thing that takes away from my enjoyment of this particular season is two episodes I have to swallow in a single night. I mean, the storylines are crazy. Amazing casting.

I mean, look, there's been some terrible things that have happened, too. But you could learn a little bit about things, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been a crazy ride. Although, Dylan, I must tell tell you i am very concerned i think we got like two maybe three episodes left i'm concerned that we are on the way down you know what i mean we uh didn't see margo lose her job i'm happy for that i like margo a lot yeah yeah uh zarina and uh joao have now uh consummated their little relationship yeah you know margo's a good

sport i'm excited to call her drunk tonight. It'll be fine. You know, I mean, if there was any reason to, if there was ever a reason to drink, she has a good one, but, you know, anyways. Yeah, yeah, but, you know, you've still got to, the rules are rules. You're not supposed to be drunk while you're on a shift, you know?

I feel like the Native Americans cursed that soil. They're all drunks up there, you know? Well, anyway oh am i getting into my thoughts and not still in well let me just put this out there i am concerned i think there's two episodes left and then a reunion what did we do 14 15 last night then there's 16 yeah yeah that's what i think i don't think i think this is gonna just uh kind of grind down to a very very slow uh conclusion to this season. All right, well, Grim Reaper. But how did you feel about this episode? But before you say that,

let's get into public service announcements because we've got a lot coming. A lot. Okay, so Netflix has, like a Beyonce drop, dropped the bunion that is After the Altar on Netflix. Three episodes, all bad. Patrick and I will be, become i mean hilariously bad you know netflix is daring you to hate this show i mean their show love is blind they're daring you

because you go dare and or truth or a challenge accepted Me and Pat will be breaking the entire thing down in a very kind of formless way. A patreon.com slash another podcast network. You know, when you have a water burp, it's like it's due to carbonation. It's just I'm just drinking water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Netflix season five is coming. We will be covering that at patreon.com slash another podcast network. We'll give you guys some crumbs. We will be covering that at patrion.com slash another podcast network. We'll give you guys some crumbs.

We'll do some free episodes here and there, but most of it will be behind a paywall. Also behind a paywall is our season one coverage below deck. Oh gee, we just dropped an episode with the devil herself. Chiefs to Adrian. Ooh, some tea on that episode.

Oh yeah. A lot of tea there there a lovely and at times uncomfortable interview with one adrian who is adrian um itunes ratings and reviews socials all that stuff let's get into the episode pots and knots okay i always wondered what happens when someone like dies on a yacht right you know because they have limited medical limited medical skill set i guess what did he what did captain hot pants say they have i love the start of this episode outside of the guy having a seizure or dying i love the the tinfoil route we can go down right combined route and road we never saw that guy again they say that he didn't die he doesn't come back but he does not

come back so his name was josh i think they were so they were like uh that happens to him all the time has he gotten a cat scan that's fucking insane that that happens um anyways go ahead okay and then also there was the margo drama would Would she be fired? Would she not be fired? I was betting that she would because, you know, you're not supposed to be fucking getting loaded while you're doing service. I mean, loaded. In Daisy Jones and the Six Shades, loaded. But alas, it happened. And then, of course, we have the setup, I believe, at the tail end of the episode of the Will You Be My Girlfriend proposal.

One of the greatest things I've seen on the history of the show in the history, wrong word, but my God. Oh, and, uh, Culver,

you can, uh, you can, uh, tell your parents to stop leaving us one star reviews on below deck. I know that's your family. Captain Lego head. Uh,

I can read between the lines. You know, you guys are not funny. You're hurtful to people on the show. We get it. Culver tell mommy to lay off us, okay? It's all out of love, Keem. It's all out of love.

Okay, decent episode, 70 knots. I thought it was an incredible episode. We saw somebody die. That's a first. That's unbelievable. We also saw Culver pull the woman at gunpoint. hold a woman at gunpoint uh listen i'm always a fan of a check yes or no i think it's cute but not this one this one was strange to me those two i i'm excited to get into the dynamic of their relationship

over the course of our breakdown of these two episodes because we've got two very very fucking weird people very weird people i called her she lob last episode she is peak she lob in this week and by the way i hadn't caught caught that reference when you you mentioned it on the last podcast very apt oh so you nailed it dude so apt by god but yeah the second episode of this week she's like you're not going in the hot tub you're getting in that room and you're giving me that dick you're like oh my god what the fuck is going on here keith stone um but yeah uh amazing first episode we'll get into it but i just have to say one of the reasons why this season is so good is because there have been peaks of dramatic tension. Some very, very upsetting.

Some hilarious, like Culver throwing a fit when he couldn't find the blender. But it's more the Elmer's kind of foundation that this entire fucking crew has. They're just lovely. I mean, I wouldn't call them family because they're sea rats. They don't really have loyalty. But Harry, Luca, Serena, Margo, Aisha, hot captain, thick ass hot captain. They're all coming together in such a fucking amazing way this is this is why people fell in love with rachel and zoe and whoever else was on the show joey and

whoever else was on the show there is a friend's type of cohesion here that is just so lovely yes i agree 99 pots caitlin i thought it was quite a good episode 79 knots you know i was listening back to the other one i took way too long to get into the episode then oh you just did it again i don't think so i think all of this i wouldn't change a thing or cut anything i mean i think it was just all needed to really set up what's going on in the another podcast network uh universe here dill uh let's get into it if you don't mind dill may i start off because i'd like to start off with an observation. Well, the guest receives immediate medical attention from the crew. And although I appreciate a number of the crew members being trained in medical aid,

I was terrified to learn that it would be 25 minutes until a medic could make it to the boat. Dare I say, if there was an actual heart attack or something more serious, at that point, you just call for a body bag, right yeah yeah 25 minutes that's a long time right right right it's like if you if you get bit by a snake really anywhere where you can get bit by a snake that could really bite you there's no point in you know i mean i 25 minute response time i get it you're in the middle of the ocean but the things that this guy had to go through he seized or had a heart attack on this boat was um rallied around we have high captain jason saying you know we're medically trained not that good um and then when he is brought back to life he has to uh he has to jump over he has to get on a boat from another boat

like god forbid anything serious happens to you on one of these vessels, it's not good. You got a bunch of fucking sea rats defibrillating you. It's not good. 25 minutes, eh? Oh, just bring a body bag then. Yeah, yeah. A big one. Today's episode is brought to you by Green Chef. What is Green Chef, Pat?

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By the way, you pointed out at the top of the show, Dale, this isn't this guy's first rodeo with nearly dying while hanging out with his buddies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch out there, Josh. Your friend should get a life insurance policy on your ass. And then when you're partying with them, they'll go, they can joke around and go, don't drink too much tonight, Josh.

Okay. I might be a millionaire next month. You know what I'm saying? So hot captain is just like, you know, we're not trained to do this. And I was just thinking like, obviously not. Like you're hot captain. You're better at plowing yachts into marinas than you are saving this guy's life but then after all of

it takes place there's this really sad moment with asia where she's you know heartbroken at the sight of this because of what she's been through. I'll say it again. Aisha, she's been through so much in life and she has come out the other side such a wonderful human being because life can turn people into better pieces of shit. Oh, Aisha's a, we make fun of her. I have a nickname for her.

I call her Kermit. Hey, Doe, can we have a little improv where you play Kermit? Okay. I'm the dinner guest and we just went through all this I call her Kermit. Yeah. Hey, can we have a little improv where you play Kermit? Can you, okay. You just, I'm the dinner guests, you know, and then we just went through all this.

Okay. And then you tell me that you also had a family member that suffers from Caesar, Caesars, Caesars, Caesars. I'm having one right now. Can you,

can you do that? Okay. So we're going to do improv. Yeah, I promise it won't be mean. And you want me to, yeah, your Kermit. Okay. Yeah. yeah yeah just tell me you uh you can

relate uh how are you good good good how's the steak and lobster well we don't have any oh yeah yeah oh that's right i uh i I have experience with seizures. Yeah, great. Show must go on. Let's get some plates in front of us. Okay, okay. So I wanted to ask you how you feel or how you felt about their can-do attitude after their friend died. Show must go on.

Yeah, dude. It was so funny. He wanted it that way. They get a call oh you know ernie would want us to have a good time and that guy's name was ernie it was josh does not fit that guy um but yeah the the one dude gets a a call i think from the guy at the hospital and he's just like oh he's 40 better all right well uh yeah you can call us if you want i mean i don't know if we're gonna keep spinning the wheel you have to you really do i think it's

a more evolved attitude towards uh death yeah yeah yeah i mean the booze is here he's not you know but this is when they talk about how they've seen him do this before and i don't know if he has like epilepsy or something but if you if you've seen this twice you should not have that dinner the wheel should not be spun again because we've got a serious serious fucking problem um and here we go with the uh margo the drunk drunk kind of ball rolling down the hill. A few chugs of that vino. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Oh, yes. Can I explain to Margo how to be a proper drunk while cameras are filming you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Margo, listen up. Actually, this is for all fucking sea rats. Yeah. Put an empty coffee mug in the sink.

When you pour out the glasses to the cameras and us as an audience, we'll look like you're pouring the red wine down the sink, but it's actually into a mug. You can then sip on that mug. You've. Whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa. I didn't mean that for Margo. Okay. Okay. I was writing my notes. I was like, yeah,

I think it might be going a little hard on her and then you said so now i feel pretty alleviated okay it's margo it's a life hack it's a sea rat hack i got a better idea yes you know the soap dispenser oh yeah you wash that thing out good right and then you just go under and you squirt it in your mouth every once in a while just get as good as the coffee mug. No, no. I think it's fun. I think it's a good way to get around that whole thing where the cameras capture you drinking a lot in the middle of a shift.

So it's going to be a crab summer roll with mango sauce for dinner. with mango sauce for dinner. The word sauce should be used in a couple different places. Taco Bell, Guy Fieri restaurants, you know, delis, stuff like that. At least delis will say dressing. Let's this a reduction a gastric something let's just not go with mango sauce right because it's not a guy fieri's hell raisin kitchen at la i agree watch chopped more they have fun with the way they explain you know uh the dinners and serena knows how to throw a word on that of course

yeah yeah yeah a uh what do you call it a reduced reduction into a what do they call it where they uh break down something so they say it's like it's supposed to be molecular astronomy no no no where they're like a deconstruct they love that word deconstruct yeah yeah yeah it's a deconstructed cake uh it looks like a bunch of fucking crumbs on a plate to make yeah yeah you know all right anyway let me do a meanwhile here del meanwhile captain lego hat head has somehow uh found himself back in the good graces of zerina because he's picking away uh at those uh food samples there yeah uh can someone tell this asshole this ain't costco okay get the fuck to work all right well also I was heartbroken to see Serena humoring this and feeding Legohead the way that she has been. Private school girl sees this and is despondent.

She's very, very upset that Culver would go into the galley and proceed to eat as opposed to checking in on her after witnessing someone die. Now, I have a few theories on this yeah uh while culver continues on his useless tour uh because he will make his way back to jamae and i think in the laundry room uh the the idea of zarina now being kind of semi kind of cordial with culver is because she's fucking moved on. She is now rubbing Joao's balls, and their sexual chemistry is off the charts. So now she can have a little fun fucking with her once competitor, which is Jemay.

Oh, love that. So welcome him in and torture her a little bit because you've moved on. It's the best of both worlds. Oh, interesting, interesting. The table's half done turned, is what you're saying. Yes, yes, yes.

So the wheel is spinning. The Coco Lopez cans are getting cracked. You know, we have been on a bit of a tirade on Culver, and I will take ownership over that because it's mostly me who gets non-communicatively angry when I'm talking about Culver, which is my own problem. That's okay.

But he is getting a bad edit, I will say. They take every opportunity to show him not working and eating something. May I also, the dagger through the heart, you know, it's worth mentioning

he was our resident quote-unquote foodie, a self-described one, in fact, who had no clue what a fucking palate cleanser was. They didn't have to put that in the show, but they did because they're like, do you dislike him a lot? Would you like to dislike him more? Yeah, I think that's us doing a little sewing together rather than the edit. But yeah, he's a foodie who doesn't know what hollandaise and palate cleanser is. But to Serena, why would you give Culver a palate cleanser?

What kind of feedback are you going to get back there? It's not yummy the way that a steak is. Culver likes steak. Culver's not interested in some kind of zest-forward palate cleanser. But him getting a bad edit means um one of two things production didn't like him or it's worse than we could ever in which case it's worse than we could ever i don't know what the the two forks are i just think he got a bad edit which probably means that he's worse yeah it could yeah if you fuck with production they'll

get back at you with an edit yeah so i don't know i feel bad that we've been so hard on him well look we've backed off a little bit this episode i think why would you waste a palette cleanser on a fucking tongue-blind moron you know what you're right um all right so private school girl and him have a very boyfriend girlfriend melodramatic conversation and it just makes me want to throw up because you joelle and serena are not any you know gold standard of communication between men and women um but i i guess it's because they're older i don't think they're much older you you compare and contrast the two different kinds of conversations that those two couples have throughout this two episodes. And it's just insane. One is like nuanced,

actually trying to talk about what their feelings are, breaking it up with a little bit of humor and levity. I like their banter. And then you've got Culver and Private School Girl, and it's just this like, are you both in fifth grade kind of thing. Alan in Wonderland, That is a big problem. You agree, though, right?

I do. I do. It's so much more fun watching Zarina and JWoww interact as opposed to Culver and Jemay. Yeah. It's going to be fun watching her swallow him down and shit him out. Yeah.

Yeah. She's already injected him with that kind of, you know, that thing that courses throughout Frodo. I think it makes you froth uh and your eyes turn black anyways um culver says and i think this is the root cause of why they don't communicate with uh nuance and banter culver says girls they're something else i'm learning every experience more about them um You know, he is Bill Shakespeare. He is a romantic, and he is

going to try to figure out how to ask this girl that he has known for nine and a half days to be his girlfriend. And I, for one, cannot fucking wait to see it. Next day.

Next morning. Serena is shoving her ass into Joao, calling people sluts. And Nico married Nico. We didn't talk. Or Luca. Excuse me. Married Luca. We didn't talk about this.

I think it's moot because he wasn't married at the time. Correct. But now he's married. No below deck for this young man. And it's sad because I think he's funny and I think he's hot.'s definitely not on the next season of med did i see him yeah oh yeah he is on the next season of med but i hope he's not if he's married on a season of this show oh i will lose my mind i will you can only be married if you're a captain that's rules those are the rules of i mean that's a cardinal sin,

casting a married seerat. And I know production's like, oh, this is a bit of a freak show. We've got one that actually found roots in someone. But it's not entertaining, you know. All right, so moving on. We get to Margo getting a text from cool guy Luke. All right. We don't want to get in trouble

um yeah you know i don't know where to go with this because you're right but also like so okay so he didn't anybody no right no but he would have and he probably has already you know what i mean so cool guy fucking luke text her uh kind regards no listen we didn't see him do anything obviously everybody gets the benefit of the doubt unless you wear bucket hats and crocs and try to people um we he gets she gets a text from him that says uh i'd like you to hear me out kind regards so this sends her into a bit of a spiral that's so uncomfortable we can talk about it after the show we'll talk about bleeping cutting we'll do all that of course of course it's just very sensitive material very Very sensitive. So breakfast is served. Josh,

he does that all the time. Josh is back in Melbourne. Kind of an all dogs go to heaven kind of thing. Or maybe he did go back to Melbourne. Lots of meanwiles

here. Serena and JWoww continue to flirt. I don't think this was the scene where he literally has her uh legs spread laying on a shared uh i believe this is where they all have their lunches table uh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah luca and jamae chat i think there's a little heat here i think we saw some in the trailer that she'd prefer a guy like luca over culver yeah and this is where you could see that culver has pissed them off she's talking about how she's she thinks that luke is hot and that she usually goes for guys like him and that they cut to culver breadberry

eating a fucking burrito the way that he does well she also says dylan you forgot the best part she said she normally likes guys who don't live with their mother yeah yeah yeah ouch culver when he eats goes into this kind of fugue state like he his eyes glaze over and it's like he inwardly concentrates on the process of consumption and digestion. You know what I mean? Like he turns into a snake. So weird. I've never seen somebody focus so much on bites.

Because usually you just eat, you know, like you're talking or you're working. Sometimes I don't even think about it. He transports himself into another plane all right so boat heads to another location now i hate to see this what do they call it it's a slit what do they call it uh slip a slip a slip basically it's a disappearing island oh no no no that's uh they just call that a disappearing island. Oh, they do? Yeah, the slip is where they pull the boat into.

I didn't know what you were talking about. Oh, sorry, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so we saw this once, but apparently this is now going to be a thing. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. So I think by the end of the next episode, it will be the third time they've visited the disappearing island. Yeah, that's cool. It is, but it was more cool just seeing it the first time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You unoriginal bastards. Yeah. It's like they're making Gladiator 2. You know? Why? Yeah? You gonna go see Snow White caitlin sure he's got kids yeah i just know he constantly comes in here randon about rachel ziller

you know there's this trailer for a horror movie caitlin you might know this where the there's a hand on a table and you touch the hand i told you about this everyone so i tried to rent it last night it said it's unavailable it's not available yet but uh baby sister ruby papaya dog girl she goes to see movies all the time she said i think it i think it's called talk to me yes i told you about that two weeks ago you did i? I'm hearing it from everybody. I got to see it. It's supposed to be fantastic. It's supposed to be truly horrifying. I'm in. Bone-chilling stuff.

I think there's a scene with an eyeball. It's pretty gory. Yeah. I saw the directors talking about it on a Logan Paul's podcast. The podcasting world is so fucking weird. Oh, Captain Lee just entered through his hat into the game. That's true. And I also want to just say this, and I don't, I sound like a douchebag making this clarification, but just in case anybody's confused, I'm not a Logan Paul podcast listener.

I don't. When I say that I saw them, I didn't. I just saw that they were doing it. Okay. So. Serena prepares food for a quote unquote good time. I don't know.

Well, can we really quickly talk about, Adam takes a nasty little crossbow bolt to, or from Harry. Harry says, it's much better having luca on board yeah because i don't have to fear for my life every morning when i wake up which is like it's a fine and sensible thing to say but also i mean come on brooklyn just left the boat yeah sad you guys are probably instagram buddies, you know? And I give Harry a lot of shit,

but I also do believe that Harry is a dark horse MVP of this season. He holds so much on his shoulders. He just has these quiet little moments that really kind of unknowingly make an episode a lot better. Although he's one of those characters when they have the reunion and Andy has, you know, just the nine boxes,

four words, he will say four words, four words. That's it. He'll be asked to when Andy pulls everybody. Yeah. Did you guys think it was a problem when Andy nearly killed everybody? Raise your hand.

Of course. Yeah. And that may be the only, no, Andy will ask him what it's like being so tall and about speedos and then that'll be it he won't ask him another thing uh all right so the margo drinking thing it would be much easier to just call her drunk she's a good sport she gets it but if there was a justifiable reason to drink she would have it here we already said that but

this is uh this text kind of kicks things off where am i okay so we've gotten the text she we we saw her drinking the wine that was pre-tax now yeah this is yeah she's you can tell she's not herself at this point uh we go to that disappearing beach and then the guests come back and they return to haw to Hawaii because that's the theme of the party this evening. Culver gives Jemay a shell. That was pretty sweet. And then now back on the boat, Margo's hanging out at a party for one. She's throwing back a couple of those pina colada shots.

Right. Now, I don't blame her because pina coladas are a perfect cocktail. I love a pina colada. If you have more than two, you'll shit your pants, but they're very, very powerful, and they're very, very delicious drinks. And if Coco Lopez is getting cracked open and Coco Lopez is involved in the pina colada making process,

I'm getting fired because I'm going to take a nip every once in a while too. You know what I mean? I mean, they're that good. They're the milkshake equivalent. They're really good. Right, right, right. Well, as you pointed out when you started this, Dylan,

you will be shitting yourself all night, though. So that is definitely a drawback. Are you kidding me? Mm-hmm. It's all like high fructose coconut fucking lacquer. That cannot pass through your intestines successfully so luca looks great margo's um we we i don't know why i put the note luca looks great um margo is at this point nuked i mean not quite like sea Rat Night Out, but Serena is like,

can you taste this, please? And she takes a spoonful of pineapple fried rice and Margo's just like, oh, man. She's like, does it taste like something? She's like, oh, my God, yeah, it tastes like something. She starts flopping into the sink like Gumby

and knocking shit over and asia's like hey mark i i she she has to like ask her are you are you blackout drunk okay so the show they pick their pick their favorites with editing they clearly hate captain lego head and they clearly are rooting for margo of course they could not let this go and like just not show this scene however i think margo was way more drunk showed in the footage because for you to pick up remember if you're kermit you're working your ass off you're running down for you to pick up on a co-worker being drunk, more things would have had to have been exhibited from Margo, in my opinion. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you can sneak a couple nips and be all right. I've done it. Yeah. It's not a joint. It's not like one hit and everybody can see that you're kind of high. Anyways, ironically uh ironically lost my train of thought asia is so one of the reasons why i have so much yummy yummy love for everybody is because i mostly the way these two and to a lesser degree jason handled this entire thing asia hated having to go be a rat but she had to

be you have to you had to and margo knew that she had to do it and there was just a game respect game kind of thing like i completely understand why he had to do it we'll we'll get into all of it but it was this could have been throw adrian and millie illicit in this and something can really like something really nasty goes down now here's the one thing that i noticed about captain hot pants he loves to torture people with that wait time on when he's going to render his, ask you about that. Yeah. I think it is a management style to freak the person out so that it really,

cause if he just got their side and said, you know, don't worry about it. You're not fired, but don't do it again. It wouldn't have the impact. It's almost like the emotional prison of that's why they put, when you get a DUI,

they make you fucking spend the night in the fucking pokey then they make you show up to aa meetings despite the fact you might have just had a couple too many cocktails at the christmas party yeah and then they make you pay three grand you will never drink and drive again yeah unless you're from wisconsin that's right or virginia or california unless you're a drunk right yeah yeah yeah yeah but it weeds out the uh what do you call it the just casual drinkers from the real drunks you know the ones that down a bottle of vodka while the cops pulling them over and then out the window my uncle hub has avoided i think he's beat four duis but therein lies the problem

they've not landed he's slipped out of all of them, so no, he is going to keep hitting deer. And that's sad. Anyways. So that's what Captain Hot Pants did to Marley. Yeah, no, 100%. So he... This move was so interesting.

I've... No, this move was so interesting. I, I've no, it wasn't so interesting. Very few things on the show are so interesting, but, um, hot captain, I felt like this is okay to do if you're not going to fire somebody. Right. But at that moment, I don't know that he was or wasn't going to fire her. So it's it was a little odd to have him say hey let's go for a quick chat like whoa where the fuck did you come because i'd argue adam and margo both had the same stance upon you know an egregious act adam nearly killed everyone margo was drinking on the job right he had to sit on it and sleep on it before he could render a decision. Right. With Adam, yeah. So different outcomes. Okay, so like, and all joking aside, when you're out in the water and Ernie has a seizure and goes down, Margo, if she's like as shit-faced as she she could like trip and fall and like knee him in the face and just be like whoa why are you drooling you know like it's it's dangerous hot hot pants not knowing margo's intoxicated and said margo get in the tender you're driving yeah right and then she hits a fucking uh what do you call the dolphin big seal. A big seal. Yeah, there you go. So.

Okay. I want to remind the audience, last season, Culver, Captain Lego Head, he also drank. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But I think it was a different circumstance. Captain Hot Pants had said the crew, for whatever reason, could have one cocky. And then he caught Culver having like five. Yeah.

Anyway. Well, dinner. having like five yeah yeah well um dinner and margo's very another thing that's so admirable about the way she handled the situation she was i mean she was buzzed so that it helps but she was very calm about what she could be meeting on the other side of the evening can i tell you what else i appreciated margo i like someone who doesn't uh exaggerate or underscore what really took place he asked her a direct question have you been drinking and what did you drink yeah and she copped to the pina coladas and i thought she was gonna that red wine thing i thought she was gonna put that under the uh the rug yeah she did not oh she said I drank wine, too. Yes, she did. Goddamn. You know, booze will give you a lot of confidence to be transparent. I think it probably would have been better if she concealed it.

But it would be impossible, too, because like we said, when you're noticeably drunk, what are you going to do? Go, I had like a half a beer. That's ineffective gaslighting. All right. So dinner is, of course, rice, surf and turf. It's fun. I love Serena.

I do, too. You know, the food's the food. I think she's doing a good job she's doing a she's doing a good job i like 72 i like her breakfast and lunch layouts best platters we've ever seen on the show yeah there's a lot of love put into those things so um asia and margo say good night to each other and this is where this moment here this fucking fredo and michael kind of moment are you talking about kermit and hot pants talking no i'm talking about kermit and margo talking okay where margo knows that asia hath betrayed her and the and asia knows that she knows and they're both saddened by it but they're so sweet

and professional towards one another about it they just 10 out of 10 no splash do we ever know who put the bullet in the back of Fredo's head while they were out fishing or was that because that was just a dark figure he was fishing with no I'm not a big I mean I love the Godfather

they're perfect movies but you know there are these people that have seen them 75,000 times. They could tell us. They know every single fat Italian guy's name in the movie. Pauly. So Cap and Aisha have a little chat, good conversation about Margot being a good person, and they just shrug their shoulders,

and they're like, she's a fucking sea rat. What are you going to do? She's a goddamn sea rat. This is the next day. Sorry about hosting hosting but croak madams are served and the deck team is humming margo wakes for her last day aboard this converted fishing vehicle and uh joao and serena have a very different conversation yeah do we ruin our sea rat friendship over tossing ourselves into each other? Yeah. Or do we maintain this Sea Rat friendship?

Yeah. I, of course, was like, get a room already. I mean, who cares? And they do. They do get a room and they have sex with each other like five times. Mm-hmm. Good for them. I mean, that sounds exhausting.

that sounds exhausting I don't know how either one of them have the stamina for that it would stand to reason I haven't had the stamina since the 90s well I mean that's the thing it's a young man and woman's game doing that kind of silly stuff

jackrabbit shit in the top bunk you guys are over 30 how the fuck do you have the wherewithal unbelievable so uh let's get to the ick uh yes yes yes culver involves the help of kermit uh for his girlfriend proposal he involves the help of so many people yeah who was the person that helped him oh was it joao that helped him with those great computer graphics for the card? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Culver says about Joao's ability on Pages, the word processing application on Macs, that he's good at computers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which is a very potato farmer thing. Like, are you an old potato farmer? Like, he's pretty good at computers, so I gave him the card, dude. He's... What the fuck? I thought my lovely wife, Cherie, was asleep, and I heard her say out loud,

which is that he sounds old. Yeah. He sounds like... I don't know how you can go through life just at his age. Like, to say somebody's pretty good with a... Anyways, he's an odd duck. But Aisha and Joao's support of Culver in this is criminal, I think. Negligently criminal.

And if they cared about him asia i think is just a cuckoo head who really loves this yes she does but joao as a man should be like you know if he cared about culver he'd be like uh you want me to do what but no there's this network of you know pushing culver out there yeah and getting him to do it and i'm so appreciative of all of that because what we saw unfold was well he has a pamphlet with a yes or no yeah you know when i get butthole cramps yeah it that's what this scene makes people do you know you just kind of seize up because you want to run away but you're also clockwork orange peeled open to all the

horror that you're witnessing so anyways what happens oh well we wrap up the episode both parks guests depart 1800 large that's 1450 each margo gets the fucking helmet car yeah wraps up the proposal prep uh and he's got a little voo in there and then he hands her that pamphlet with the yes or no questionnaire and he's composed quite a tome of love on that goddamn card and I think that's where we leave it

alright well that's it for us jumping iTunes ratings reviews leave five stars kind words join us on Patreon for lots of good stuff season one what was the other below deck thing we had oh Oh, no. It's Love is Blind and Below Deck is behind the paywall there. Oh, Jesus. What a big week for Patreon.

Get over there and sign up because you get three shows a week now. You're going to get Love is Blind, Season One of Below Deck, and then Dylan and I do a show once a week called Another Podcast Show. Yeah, three shows a week at patreon.com slash another podcast network. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Later, dude. Kaelin. See you. at patreon.com slash another podcast network i'm dylan saying goodbye pat say goodbye later Love