Another Below Deck Podcast - Illinoise | Below Deck S11 E6

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

Dylan and Pat are back to break down ways to make money, rasberries, PCP, calling one's children, tobacco, pinacles of cool, lunchables and more from Bravo's Below Deck. Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcast

But on the Sea Rats sad scale, it's a zero. It's a non Sea Rats story. And to remind the audience, if you want a five on the Sea Rats sad scale, one of those parents would have had to have killed each other. Yeah. In order to get to a five, someone needs to either be dead or beaten with an elephant bone. Yeah. It's rarefied air and it's an award you don't want. And that is Pat and I send out. We send out plaques. We do. We do. Timmy just got hers. Timmy just got hers. She sent us a picture on Instagram. She said, can't thank you enough question mark. Hi, hello and welcome to another brand spanking new episode of welcome aboard. It's another below deck podcast. Now I'm we're not going to call it that moving forward. I just made

a boo boo. So I said that okay. Yeah. Public service announcements. I'm dealing settled up next to one Patrick Kiki. Great to be here permission to come aboard this Wednesday. Patreon.com slash another podcast network. 6pm sharp for the $12 tier members. Live watch along of the Love is Blind reunion. That is going to be a hoot. We're gonna be watching with you. That's what a watch along. We've never done one. So I'm assuming that's what a watch along is. Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. Yeah, looking forward to it. Like we can watch it and then you guys can talk to us about it while we're watching it and then we can talk to you about it while you're

watching us watch it. It'll be the best thing ever. Patreon.com session of the podcast network and Patrick. Oh, and it's also worth, uh, worth mentioning, uh, if you know, you can, uh, pony up the 12 bucks. Uh, if you just wait a day, we'll release the episode release the episode that we recap for $5. Right. But you won't have gotten to be a part of the ceremonies. Yeah, it's way more fun to be doing it live with us.

But again, if you're a little, you know, feel a light on cash, you know what you do? Go into your neighbor's trash bin. Oh my God, I'm so happy. We haven't done this in a while. Pull out 14 cans. Can we set this up please really quickly? Okay, so we know the times are tough.

The economy is not in a great spot. And we're going to be talking about factor later in the episode. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's a great food menu program where they just mail pre-cooked meals to you. So what we used to do. Well, we were helping people.

We were doing them a service, is giving them ideas on how they could scrape together some cash, pay us $5 to listen to our content behind the paywall. Now, we were doing them a service, is giving them ideas on how they could, you know, scrape together some cash past five bucks to listen to our content behind the paywall. Now we came up with many ideas, drug dealing, robbing, pretty much just those. Of course, petty corporate scams too. Oh, right, right, right. But what do we have tonight?

You know, my fit, well, why don't I just harken back to one of the greatest ones? This is a whole new audience. And we'll talk about Below Deck. Calm down. Yeah, yeah. So here's what you do. Here's what you do.

Okay. You go to your grocery store and you buy some laundry detergent. And then buy some Ziploc bags. Put the laundry detergent, Ziploc bags, and then head on out. And traffic drugs. Traffic drugs, but it's not really drugs. It's not a thing illegal. Your investment in that is probably like $12. End of the day, you probably got $12,000 in your pocket.

Uh-huh, at least $12,000 and maybe even more. And if the cops catch you, if those pigs catch you, you go test the shit, right? You say test the shit. And then I think all they can get you on is racketeering maybe arbitrage crimes or something But that's not a big deal. You spend a night in the clink you get like fucking $70,000 and the good news is is you only need to pay us five

You get the love of my content right and then what do you got like your or 12 if you want to be a part of the ceremony You got like sixty five thousand nine hundred ninety five dollars. Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot of chatter so 65,995 dollars. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's a lot of chatter. Uh, so, uh, you're welcome. Oh yeah. Uh, below deck. Yes. We have quite an episode and we have a difficult task coming up for Patrick. Oh yeah. That being laying off of poor Jared. So, okay. So I feel like I've been going hard on Jared. I go hard on all the cast members, but I feel like he's in a bad spot Well, it triggered you because you have a deadbeat dad

Yeah, well, he's dead now. He's dead. He was definitely dead You know, he decided to take 17 years off from contacting me. Yeah, you told me hurt my feelings. Yeah, so this hey Pat Yeah, it hurt my feelings to oh, okay, or it would it didn't well Yeah, so I I was like thinking to myself and I reached out to Jared too, because you never know what this editing and stuff. I was like, you know what, next couple episodes, I'm gonna definitely not go into them hard. But I have to tell you, Jared, you make it real hard for old Pat. Yeah. And I know that you extended an olive branch, but I wanted to read what you sent him. I don't think it's going to do a very good job.

Oh, you're welcome. You said, Hey, Jared, why don't you buy a fucking plane ticket to go see your daughter, you scumbag. I mean, I don't think that's gonna help anything. I said, I've been giving you a lot of help. Maybe you'll come on the show. If you wanna talk about it, you can give it back to Dylan and I. But you know, this episode, Dill,

with the tail end of the episode, you know, it's hard to go easy on a guy who thinks it's a good idea to at 2 a.m. Do an employee performance review. Well, with a blood alcohol content that could poison a rhinoceros. There's a little judgment there. Yeah. So we'll see how this episode goes. How many pots? Oh, great episode 40. I thought it was a great episode to give it six pots because I thought it was good. And I'm gonna have a tough job tonight because Tony is going through a lot. And I feel for Tony because you lose a parent and their anniversary or the anniversary of that loss comes along and it's very, very emotional, but you can't make lunchables for people. Right? That's not appropriate to do to people.

I mean, regardless, listen, the only leash that I'll give Tony is that you could put a fucking 10 a cat food in front of Eileen. I mean one, I don't know that she'd noticed, but two, she deserves worse. So you're only good for your looks, but you did make lunchables. I mean, that's just a fact. We'll get to it, but my God great episode though. Six pots. Like I said, let's get into it. Uh, love me tender episode title, heartbreaking back to pots and thoughts. The Sonny and back channel Ben thing. It just, it's like boo,

he's not your person. And I know that you're on a boat and everybody has needs, but boo, he's back channel Ben boo. Like that is not, you're like, you're better than it is so much better than that. You know, he's like a, he's like a bad plate of poutine. You see how I made it? Canadian. You see that? That's cheese, right?

Uh, yeah. Fuck. I don't know what those, those frigid people eat fucking cheese and fries and gravy so they don't die in the cold. Canadians. Well, we begin them. No, you're lovely people. We love our Canadian fans. I love them. We begin the episode with the morning with Captain Kerry doing his usual inspection. It turns out the deckies are kind of fucking up a little bit.

Yeah. And last episode, just to remind us, and I think that we, I was in this weird like Twilight Zone where I thought that we had said that they were going to recap the stuff that we were witnessing at the end of the episode and we really didn't get that much, but I'm not sure the pot. Jared was crying because Eileen said that he was only good for his look. So Jared's, Jared's had a couple of nighttime breakdowns and Jared needs to vacate the premises because for Jared, I mean, we talked about him having a, a mentally ill or a mental illness that is temporary. It's like a house guest and it's not good that he's on this boat right now for him and his mental. He knows he needs to leave and go get, get healthy.

right now for him and his mental. He knows he needs to leave and go get get get healthy. Meanwhile, Frazier checks in on Chef Anthony and he asks him, hey, what are you going to be serving this morning? It turns out he's named a dish Tina's toast. Tina's toast only has two ingredients flour and bitch. He'll have you ever eaten bitch. It's grown in Tucson. Have I? No, I've only gone down on women I love. Okay, so I feel gross for saying that. Oh no. That was like, you didn't need to make that, that right? Sorry. Totally fine. But yeah, he says like, I want to start a restaurant one day and Fraser's like, Fraser seems to be, he's heard the Sea Rat dreams a time or two and he's just like, all right buddy, go ahead and do it.

Don't do it with your own money. Do it with an investor. Yeah. Well, Anthony tells Fraser he's trying to find ways to, you know, memorialize his dad's, uh, his dead dad's memory. It might be a tattoo, uh, and it definitely won't be with having sex with his nephew's wife. No, that's so crazy that his uncle did that. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking about this, like, well, what's wrong with this family? You know, um, can you imagine like, all right, so chef Anthony's pissed, you know, that his uncle stole his wife and whatnot.

But think about being his uncle, and every time someone's like, you know, hey, you guys are a cute couple, how'd you beat? And he's like, oh, my nephew introduced me to her. She was his wife, and then I started having sex with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's crazy how we met. I met her at my nephew's wedding.

Oh, how nice. Yeah. She looked beautiful. He walked down the aisle and their first dance was incredible. And then we began having sex. And a couple months later, my nephew and I, no, it was that evening. So he's good. What can you say? The booze bags start drinking first thing in the morning. Hey, we're on vacation. But as you mentioned last week, there's drinking on vacation and then there's drinking on vacation that's a clear indicator that you have a serious alcohol problem.

Hey, when you got Jared meeting with Captain Kerry to drop a fucking dime on you, you know you got a problem. You're a booze bag. Yeah, he says. You're a filthy booze bag. He said, says you're a filthy booze. He said. Eileen's a drunk hag with a smokers cough and then they both agree that. Oh my God, they need to keep an eye on that. Yeah, totally. So we

where is my soda? We go over the specials. They are pancakes and French toast all burnt to a crisp with lopsided raspberries on the side because nothing says plating like a couple of lopsided raspberries on the rim of the plate. I mean, that's just beautiful stuff. We get to talking about the day. There's going to be a volleyball competition. Iowa versus Illinois. And I say Illinois because Jared said Illinois is in the preference sheet meeting And that's very sad. Yeah, those team names are just stupid

It's like I was in world history in New Orleans and one of the the local Hicks Asked a question. How come the ARABS got defeated at I don't know something like that in the class laughed at him And I felt bad for him, but what he said was very stupid. So we talk about Eileen who I'm not sure if we talked about it enough. She tried to headbutt the side of the jacuzzi. Yeah, she did. By the way, you know your friends really hate you

when you haven't woken up yet and they can joke about you being dead and have a good laugh. Yeah, I don't want my friends to know about me. No. Yeah, yeah, Pat's not up yet. Oh, he's probably dead. Yeah. Wouldn't that be horrible? Yeah. So we're at breakfast. Are we at breakfast? We're all over the place. All right. Sorry. Sorry. So breakfast is served and Tina arrives to learn some special toast called Tina's Toaster on the table. And you would have thought someone told her a car got keyed. She is

so angry. Someone stabbed Santa Claus in front of her when she was six. She is a miserable. She stabbed Santa Claus in front of her when she was six and also the breakfast specials are disgusting this morning. So Carrie wants to monitor Eileen and tells a tale of him having to hog tie a guest. I think he was kind of leaning into that. He said the guest got out of control. I think it was one of those that coked up guests, you know, what do you mean?

Like on cocaine, you know, we had to tie him down like, you know, some of those idiots on airplanes now where you have to fucking duct tape them. Yeah, duct tape some asshole. Yeah, you've been hogtied before. No, that's true. I was actually, it was very young and I deserved to be hogtied. How old were you? I didn't deserve to be kicked. 18.

18, yeah. And you got kicked? Yeah, the cops, they hogtied me. Well, actually, to be fair, I was shooting my mouth off into the watch tower command thing. And they didn't have that kind of soundproof glass. So as I was calling them assholes for arresting me for some bullshit, at some point they all decided they were all talking about what they had enough.

And then they open up my prison cell and they proceed to beat the shit out of me. Yeah. And you threw up, right? Well, actually, actually, after they hog tied me, I was like getting dizzy, you know, and then I started throwing up and thank God they came in and they turned me over on my stomach. Yeah. Yeah. And that's why when that whole thing went down in the 90s, you were like, Rodney King, hold my beer. No, you didn't say that.

That would be disgusting to say. Well, I learned a lot and I've grown as a person. Yeah. That was a very contentious topic I just waited into. And no, what those people did to that man is absolutely disgusting. They broke his leg, I think in his arm. Yeah. I'd like to take a shot, a hot shot of PCP before I had to do anything really challenging, you know, like physically challenging because man

I mean, they really had an uphill battle and they were like eight of them. So laundry gay cat and Barbie talk about doing laundry cat tells Barbie that she can help her learn cat. You can't do anything. You can't help. I feel bad. Anyway, me too. me too. So, uh, Carrie offers a little E foil fun for cat and Barbie in this moment is growing before our eyes. Uh, cat will be long boarding without getting a massive amount of shit from Barbie in this moment. And Barbie wants to pop off right now. She does. Barbie wants to say, you know, Hey bitch, we got work to do. I don't care about the horrors of your Belinda, we've got work to do. Can I say this about Barbie?

I think she did herself a disservice by admitting that she had three nannies and that she was a daddy's girl and that she has a bunch of purses and all that because she's a really hard worker. Yeah, right. So if we didn't know all that background, she'd just be a regular Sea Rat that basically everyone around her is lazy or incompetent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She would just be a sassy, mean little Sea Rat who's

working circles around people. Right, right. Hey, sidebar here. I saw that lesion on Carrie's face. Did you catch that? No. It was definitely a shaving accident. But be careful.

That's like two inches from the jugular. And last thing we need is Carrie, you know dying on you know He probably shies with a straight riser. Well, he probably does both do we want Lee back cuz that's what they'd fucking do I don't want to do a podcast anymore called shout. Oh God. I want to drive a boat. Don't bear he sucks I know it's called salty The fucking the negotiations would just be so sad. They're like, we don't want you. And he's like, well, I want to get back. And they're like, all right, well, we're not going to pay you. And he's like, that's fine.

I'm done doing a podcast about how his wife's called salty. And they're like, they're like, you'll, you'll just work for Friday. He's like, yeah, I just want to be big. He sucks. want to be big. Okay. Gary Shax. So we get to the broken camels and the tropical clearing. Iowa versus Illinois. All right. So team crop top team Chicago. Now I don't want to be a stickler for detail, but shouldn't it have been

Des Moines? Oh, right? No. Well, how can you be team Chicago, Illinois? And then you have team crop crop top Iowa? Well, they're saying the city and the state are their team. I think they just didn't communicate or team Chicago is trying to commemorate their, their kind of love for the band Chicago. Oh, I love that band. Yeah. 25 or six to four. We're winning this volleyball game right now. You know, I really fell in love with Chicago was as a backdrop, a secondary character, I'd say to the unseen Larry David film that took place in Martha's Vineyard unseen Larry. Do you mean the other comedian? No Larry David has a movie that's never been seen. Well, it's just it didn't.

It wasn't seen by a lot of people. Yeah. Oh, it took place in Martha's Vineyard. He was like a, um, an ousted automobile tech executive or something like that. Oh, I do you remember that clear history? Was that good looking guy in it? John Hamm. Yeah. Yeah. Chicago is very important to that film randomly. Really? Oh my God. I seen him in concert. Yeah, they're fun. Not really. 75 piece band. Yeah. So anything on the game? No, I love when episodes have this and it takes five minutes because I just put my phone down

and just drink white cloth. Yeah, no, it's fine. I will say though, Eileen got an underhanded ace, which I don't know if that's an example of her talents or an example of how incapable the field was because Eileen's shit faced. She should not be getting an underhand ace on you people. No, no, no. Okay, that's unacceptable. So, Carrie's cool dude. He gives her, he gives cats a mefoil time, what with her being abused in a cult and all.

Can you imagine what Lee's version of this would be? Oh, he wouldn't. Oh, no. See, she had to play fruit. Did you? I don't want to do a podcast called salty. Yeah. How does he get a whistle out of salty? Well, that's just how his mouth is. That's how his mouth works. Did we say we were going to talk about factor later on? Yeah, yeah. Oh, we did. We did. Oh, we did. Okay, great. All right. And we'll talk about them in a second. Local mahi mahi fish tacos are served and Barbie is growing, but it's only been a few days. So we can't get too far with the growth. She's pissed right now. Yeah, she's absolutely pissed. She's upset because they're behind on work and then you got cat out there on that

goddamn E-foil thing. Yeah. You know, but you know, who's about to be pissed. Pat. Pat. Because Jared cannot talk to his daughter. Oh yeah. Okay.

So look, I'm like, Jared tells us he hasn't talked to his daughter in two weeks because of Wi-Fi him He wants me a good dad because he knows kids get screwed up when they don't have a dad. Yeah Well, Jared you said it so you know so done beat you up It's weird to me. I don't let me pick up the mantle for you. Go ahead. I I would assume that there is some truth to what's going on I don't let me pick up the mantle for you. Go ahead. I I would assume that there is some truth to what's going on But people are streaming home alone while they now I know that streaming home alone does not require a lot of bandwidth But I can't imagine FaceTiming does either. I you know, it's just like

Let's figure this out, buddy. Right? Let's, let's make this happen, buddy. I mean, this was filmed last year. So I hope it all worked out. Yeah. But come on, too. But people go on yachts all the time and they need to conduct business and they need to email, they might even need to zoom. So I think that you could figure this out, buddy. Head to the last frontier or be on this dumb show for more time. So Jared almost falls over and we get back to the boat. Eileen almost falls over and then starts sucking down bears.

Dinner is going to be an Italian med fusion dinner. And we chat with Barbie and Jared. He wants to go down Barbie Lane. And she wants him walk down that street and be hit by a car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Kind of like a garbage collection vehicle.

Nothing to kill him or anything, but definitely something to dislocate the shoulder and have to go away. So, Frazier and Barbie. Can I give Jared some advice, or just men in general, to listen to the show? When a girl tells you that she needs to get back to work and avoids any eye contact. And says I'll talk to you later, bro.

Bro, that means she'd rather be attacked by a grizzly bear than have sex with you. So. And he means that. And I don't know if you've seen the edge or watched any YouTube videos. What was that doc where the crystal meth had got eaten by a grizzly bear? A grizzly man. Oh yeah, that was a good one. Yeah, I'm not sure if you've seen any of those things, but the alternative to sleeping with Jared

is certain death is what that is saying. So, I mean, you know, that's not bad. She doesn't want to do it. Yeah, she'd rather be eaten by a grizzly bear. I mean, I think they found his arm with a watch or something. If we run that simulation 100,000 times, Barbie versus Grizzly Bear, I'm pretty confident that she would lose most of them. I take those odds in Vegas.

Yeah. I mean, what would you do against a Grizzly Bear? I'd run. Yeah. Actually, you know, one time, someone asked me that because I used to live in Lake Tahoe. And they said, Grizzly Bears are great tree climbers. So I'm like, oh, so by me climbing up a tree, the Grizzly Bear, you know, he normally likes to eat his prey up there. I'm like taking half his workload off him. Well, and also people are like, well, definitely don't climb a tree when grizzly bears are attacking you. And I would say wasn't even,

I can't climb a tree to save my life. I saw a tree the other day. My wife and I were walking and I thought, man, that looks like a fun tree to climb. And I remember that I can't physically climb the tree and that's sad, but I looked back on my youth and all we did was climb trees much younger Dylan. You know, so yeah, no, I just stand there and just I'd throw one to straight to the grizzly bear's face and We'll see what happens. I probably want my fucking head off But you know I'd go done fight like Anthony Hopkins did in the edge

Night time we have to take a break to talk about a wonderful sponsor of this show. Pat, how has Vactor been changing your life? Well, you know, the wife and I are busy with the two kids. Yep. And so we don't have time to cook. So when you just set up for a program with Vactor, they mail you a nice box with eight meals in it. It basically covers you for the entire week.

Two minutes, you throw one of these like amazing meals. Two minutes. You let it cool off a little bit and you got like a restaurant quality level meal. Yeah. So you would probably say the eating better is easy with factors. Delicious. Exactly. He took the words out of my mouth. Yep. There's no prep. There's no mess. Factor meals are ready to heat and eat. So there's no prep and cooking or clean up needed. Also factor. They're not freeze meals. You don't freeze these. They're too good to be frozen and I made that mistake

and my wife as though she could tell from the packaging that it was too high quality, a product to be frozen. This is not a crockers lasagna or whatever. Absolutely. Stofors. No, this is kale. This is pork. This is culinary heaven. You do not freeze this stuff. No, it comes in a box where it's like ice packs around it and it tells you just put it in the refrigerator. You know, it doesn't expire. You can eat it any time. Yeah. And it definitely expires. I mean, meals comm slash below deck 50 and use code below deck 50 to get 50% off That's code below deck 50 at factor meals comm slash below deck 50 to get 50% off Let's get back to the show nighttime dinner

Okay, so dinner is a problem Pat. What were you did you? Chart any of the dinner like no, I always leave that up to you okay looks good to me okay but you know you're the expert yeah I'm the expert on dad's walking out when you're four never calling you yeah that's why I endear myself to the audience and what cinder blocks look like when they're underwater yeah that's right but you are an expert on the on the whole food thing. Right. So first course is adult lungibles with truffle oil. Now, I, oh, really quickly, we glossed over Fraser and Barbie at each other's throats again. That's right. So they were setting the table and we get a look

back on Camille. Oh, my gosh, drinking mimosas at 2pm during a workshop. Millie, listen, it wasn't mamosa. It was a goblet of white wine. It was filled to the brim and she was like, what's the big deal? She'd already had three of them. She was so much fun. And oh, such a talented musician. Sorry, I'm going to ask Fraser about this when we talked to him. He checks in with Chef Anthony. He's like, Hey, has she been talking shit about me?

Yeah. Cause in his mind, he's like that, like I'll fucking fire your ass. And while he's checking in with Chef Anthony, Chef Anthony is spooning jarred marinara sauce onto, I think, tortillas. Is that right? Yeah. Who grows now some kind of pizza dough, but he's spooning marinara in a jar onto the first course, which is adult Lunchables with Truffle Oil.

There is so much in this car crash of a dish that this podcast has talked about in the past. I mean, it's all wrong. You know, it reeks of Vegas night with Kiko. It also reeks of a lie, of a fungal lie that of the oil of truffle. I mean, I could not give this dish less pots. And then we get to another cappuccino,

which is an odd thing to go back to. This was the dessert thing? It wasn't dessert. It was a foie frappuccino, or cappuccino we've we've done a beat cappuccino at this point. Now we're doing a foie cappuccino. I don't want to eat meals out of martini glasses. Period. Full stop. Let's just not do that. So we get some sea rat sadness before we round up the door. I'll break this down. Okay, so Kat and Vampire. Quite similar to...

It's not unlike Chef Anthony. Yeah, there's some co-management with relatives there. All right, so Vampire gives us some serat history. She was married for a year and then her dad hooked up with her new husband's mom and then she says that kind of ruined everything. Now, this is a thing of ruined everything. Now this is a thing that can happen. I've heard of like couples get together and then

their parents kind of hook up. Yeah, I'm probably like a whole porn category about it. But on the Sea Rats sad scale, it's a zero. It's a non Sea Rats story. And to remind the audience, if you want a five on the Sea Rats sad scale, one of those parents would have had to have killed each other. Yeah. In order to get to a five, someone needs to either be dead or beaten with an elephant bone. Yeah. It's rarefied air and it's an award you don't want and that is Pat and I send out. We send out plaques. We do. We do. Tim, we just got hers. Tim, we just got hers. She sent us a picture on Instagram. She

said, can't thank you enough question mark. But I mean, it's a really, I mean, they're expensive. I mean, by the way, I think, sorry, change of subject. Yeah, I think we're gonna have Barbie on the show next week. So start going in the Facebook group and giving us questions. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah.

And when we have a date with these sea rats, you know, we'll let you know. Oh, coin toss. Boy, I can't say his name because I don't want to. I don't think you should. Chef Dave. Yeah. Okay. Uh, I can't stand that guy.

These sea rats, they will waste your fucking time. My God. All he- Pat hits me up, he goes, hey, Dave wants to come on the podcast. I go, why do you want to talk to Chef Dave? And he goes, well, I think the fans would like it. And he's pitching a cookbook, and I said, sure, come in. What do you want to do?

He fucking goes dark. He gets drunk and goes on a bender and says, sorry, I'm in Niagara Falls today. He went to a chef Marcos's restaurant, he did a bunch of pictures. You know what Dave? You, sir, are done. Is he on ice?

He's on ice. You are on ice. We gotta talk to Kate soon. That's the person that I wanna talk to Kate soon. That's, that's the person that I want to talk to more than anybody because we need to break down her performance on traders. She was so good. Um, not the right color bag, but she was so fantastic. And I think we, we just miss her. Yeah. And, and Dylan and I agreed. I have not seen, well, I've watched a couple episodes of Traders. We're doing every season of Traders on Patreon going forward. Yeah, that's going to be one of our shows. Anyway, all right. All right. Dessert, Kerry shows

up. Yeah. Well, for the next course is Clampasta. And someone says actively, this is disgusting. Okay, they weren't joking. Might have been. Then Kerry sits down for dessert, which actually was quite beautiful. It was a mill far with vanilla cream and raspberries, the same raspberries that were used to kind of from act is dying soldiers on the plate of the Tina toast Turned into a beautiful meal for Repurposing that's good. Yeah, Carrie says it to you kinds of captains. I see run aground though. She's a lot I love him. Yeah You know, that's what's been missing from this show as far as captains a good captain Someone who's entertaining and actually can joke and be self deprecating. Yeah, some fun captain Lee was never like that

He's hosting a podcast called I used to buy cash called salty Yeah with sham Yeah, you want to know if we can have some gas Maybe yeah, you get a real kick out of it. You're doing that whistle, huh? I hate him. No, no, you don't hate him.

I hate him. No, you don't. Can I play his salty? It is so bad. How long have we been going? Yeah, look it up. I'll keep going. Use Suspects type twist.

The drunks just go to bed. You know, I mean, that was shocking to see. I will say they get an award for best improved. Honestly. Well, they're of a certain age. I don't think their organs can hold up to another night of that. What I lean can at this point, she's pickled. So I'm shocked that she went to bed. We get to the next day. Next day. Fraser is one of the lucky ones. His father had a tumor on his esophagus and he beat it. It's amazing when you go through horrible, horrible things in life and come out at the other side.

You really can say that you feel lucky and it just rings so true and it's such a sad and beautiful part of life. Very, very sad thing with Tony. his mom is alone on the anniversary of his father, uh, passing away and he's just really having a tough time. Yeah. It's so nice of, uh, a Frasier to check in on his dad's anniversary for being dead. Frasier gives us some, uh, uplifting secrets. What are you about to do? Oh, no, I was, I was, I was talking about the show, but also I found the Captain Lee thing. Anyway, we learned his dad survived cancer and his uncle definitely didn't have sex

with his ex-wife. So there's two wins there for Frazier, you know? Yeah. Here's the salty thing. Listen to this. All right. Be careful of the programatics. We don't want to listen uh... and for pachanga

or some law firm reasons especially for those of you you'll understand soon and this is also my trusty sidekick and personal assistant Sam Hey there Who is here to keep you grounded or make a feeble attempt at such Just when you're off the road

What are we gonna talk about? Let's have some guests on I think we should have some guests on if I like them If you like them and if you don't like them then what? We're not gonna have money and we can talk about whatever pop culture. Oh, good. Generational differences between you and I, which you and I have an abundance of.

It's only half a century. Half a century. Half a century. I played the wrong trailer. The other one, there are so many asses. No, I could hear it. Oh, you could. Yeah. Oh, the other one is crazy. Yeah. The other one. There are so many asses. No, I could hear it. Oh, you could. Yeah Oh, the other one is crazy. Yeah, go follow him. I could hear the den rather kind of

You know That made me that made me angry that oh, yeah, I'm hopped up right now actually so Jared and the docking my fucking God, dude, what is going on here? Is it that he can't do the math in his head versus meters? He's either. Okay. This is what's going on. And Jared turned the podcast off, turn it off,

turn the fucking podcast off right now. He is either so stupid that he is a serious danger to himself and everybody around him, or he's on drugs, or he's mentally ill, which is coupled with the first thing I said. Man, if we were really letting it fly, we'd really let it fly, but there are people at work here. Okay, we're talking about people. And as the show grows, we have to remember

that these are people with feelings. We've been bullied online. You know, it's a very, very real thing, but Jared should be far away from this boat. Now, Jared does something that is interesting, and I've seen this in the workplace with coworkers, which is they've completely fucked something up, but then they kind of, they walk into the room

with like managers like, nailed it. Yeah, it's so awkward. You said we had a 5K to our left. I remember it's, so I didn't exactly catch it. Like I was watching as the boat backed up and it did seem like that the rear end of the boat got close to it, but for me it was kind of like, they're always kind of tight.

No, it was just that he was shouting shit that didn't matter. He was panicking and boomeranging all over the boat like a fucking raccoon on PCP shouting fucking pieces of information that nobody needed to hear at that point. And it's because Jared was in a frenzy and I apologize for bringing a PCP again. Jared, if you got a bad edit, dude, come on the podcast. We won't even let Bravo tell us no. If you want to come on the show, then say- No, no, I'm not cosigning that. I don't- I'm not cosigning that. I'm just wondering because they have- look, the next part of this show, they clearly want to show that he has a drinking problem. There's like-

Well, he does have a drinking problem. Eight different edits of him either wanting a drink, drinking a drink, spilling a drink. Right. Well, what happens is that the edit is telling the story right now. I mean, this is predictive programming. They're telling us about the upcoming thing

that is about to take place because- And we need to be used to it. Right, they are demons. They're telling us about the upcoming thing that is about to take place because we need to be used to it. Right. They are demons, you know, the producers of the show and they need to let the people know so that they don't get screwed over karmically by Satan, or that's, you know, what some people believe, you know, it's cookie stuff. So, um, yeah, Jared does not do a good job and the guests depart. They say we'll be back. I don't know that you will not after this edit because they said a lot of bad things about

you and your edit was horrible. Now, I will say this though, uh, 26 K, I'm sorry, I'm already jumping to the jump to them. They were obnoxious drunks, but hey, they tipped well. So that's two grand each and that's a lot for a sea rat. Yeah. And Kerry has a child with Jared. And finally he says, it might not be cut out. That was the speech of like, you got one more fuck up or you're in your office. Yeah. He'll be fired next episode, I think. So Sonny and back channel Ben head out on the tender and Jared, what can you say? Um, not only is he a bit of a dead beat dad, but he's a, he's a fucking booze bag.

This is where the edit begins. Um, we had out for a girl's night and we talk about marriage. Zandi is 29, but she has the wisdom and knowledge of someone who is 7,000 years old. And that's because she is 7,000 years old. She is the daywalker. She is vampire. Um, she just seems because she is 7,000 years old. She is the day walker. She is vampire. She just seems like she is a life for a one class for these girls, you know?

But she's their age. Dill, I'm sorry just for us laying this out to cover that the guys are right there. The guys are gonna have their night. The girls are gonna have their night. And so what we're discussing now is the girls. The ladies part of it, yeah. We learned that Barbie got married when she was 22.

Yep, that was wild. I was reminded that COVID, you know, it didn't just kill people in the economy, but it destroyed marriages. Yeah. And it'd be like, I didn't realize until I was trapped in a house with you for a year that on a personal level, I really dislike you.

Yeah, and I don't think that that's a fair test for a new relationship, perhaps a marriage, but even a new marriage, I don't think that's a fair test. You know, you really, really have to be in the trenches with someone and know their spinal column before you can be locked in a house with them, wiping down the Gelson's bags because filthy people delivered them,

you know what I mean? And that, I didn't mean for that to sound racial. Did that come off as racial? Not at all. Okay. Well, how could it? I don't know because, you know, you know, people joke about-

I delivered pizza. Yeah, okay. And you were filthy at that time. Of course. It's gross. Well, guys night out, we learned Kyle started smoking at 12, which shocked the guys. What he didn't mention is he started hitting the bottle at five. Yeah, because he's Scottish. Mm-hmm. That's totally normal. So he's also done some gay stuff. I mean, who hasn't? Hey man, you're evolved. Yeah. I'll try it once.

We've talked about it before. The pinnacle of male coolness is bisexuality. Muhammad Ali, David Bowie, Mick Jagger, all the coolest motherfuckers, fucked guys. So Kyle's good in my book. Jared has a quiet little flip out here at the table. All right, so this was pushing back at Frasier saying, hey, when Chef Anthony's you know, overwhelmed, why don't some of you deckies get in there and do some

fucking dishes? I don't know if then Jared, turn off the podcast, turn it off. Did you have a head injury? Like it is so crazy to have this kind of knuckle draggy freak out about what Fraser said to him. I mean, he's, he's so shit-faced and he's so dumb. He just like stomps the table. He's like, what are you talking about? All right. So here's what Jared and I differ. We probably drink the same amount on our nights out. Jared is what we'd call a classify an angry drunk. I am a happy drunk.

You are a happy drunk, but you can be, you can be a sassy little bitch when you get drunk. I can be sassy, but normally I don't start it. But I- No, no, no. But no, I go out to drink and enjoy myself, and I think Jared, maybe you probably tell us probably this is the kind of drunk you are. Okay. So we're a Bob Hope airport at nine o'clock.

Oh, here we go. And you've slammed a couple mimosas and you're dropping eggs from your breakfast sandwich all over the floor, right? Because you're drunk. Now, someone comes up to you and they go, excuse me, sir, you can't eat like a farm animal. And you you would not respond. What do you do? Like Jared, right? and they go, excuse me, sir, you can't eat like a farm animal and you, you would not respond. What are you like Jared, right? You wouldn't be, you would be like, what are you talking about? It's fine. It's an airport. It's disgusting in here, you know, so it's food. Yeah, yeah.

I'm fine. I'm a party guy. Yeah, you're party party patty. All right. So the boys and girls, the link up, Sonny and Ben are canoodling. Very, very sad boo. He is not for you. Cat is cat. We're going to reach a point where your storyline cannot just be you crying and not fitting it. And I understand that you are socially stinted because

of the horrors of your Belinda. But it was sad to see you call your friend and your friend barely pick up. It felt like the friend was not too pleased. Or is that too mean? No, not at all. Okay. I feel like,

I don't, what with these sea rats? Listen to the fucking podcast and just... Some of them. It's just talk to us a lot, some of them, it's just, reach out to a lot. We gotta do our job. Okay. The saddest award of the evening goes to Jared, who I think, what does he go back into the wake

or something and kick around some shallow water? I'm not sure. Not this episode. So they all hit the dance floor. And that's when cat calls her friend and she begins unraveling And then we all head back to the boat and they hit the jacuzzi Yeah, and Kerry wakes up because of the noise Yeah, and I've always wondered about this because me to Lee and Sandy must be heavy sleepers Yeah, because I think there was only one instance and I think it was K Chastain's last season where Lee came out shirtless and he was pissed off.

But otherwise, most of the captains never, I think they just tolerate it and they're like, oh, Sea Rats, be Sea Rats. Right, Sea Rats are gonna be Sea Rats. But anyway, Ben and Sonny, after hitting the coups, they go to the only place Andy Cohen is not allowed to place a camera to toss into each other and that is the shower.

Yeah, we'll get there eventually. Mm-hmm. And then Kyle heads to Barbie's room to place a camera to toss into each other and that is the shower. Yeah, we'll get there eventually Mm-hmm And then Kyle heads to Barbie's room to watch a movie and as Jared walks around the boat yelling Kyle And he claims it's about tobacco trimmings on the floor, but we all know that's not what it's about Jared Oh no, you're trying to hook up into it. Jared. You cock-blocking him, Jared, we all know. This was so gross.

So then of course we end the episode with a job performance review of Jared and Kyle after Jared had barged into Barbie's room no less than three times. Now I understand where Jared's coming from. He's pissed. There is tobacco all over the place, but don't do this now because your captain is awake,

but you're too drunk to realize that. So captain Kerry stands behind them. And I think that we're going to the firing. Yeah. I would imagine he needs to be fired. I mean, at this point, he's clearly not in a good spot to be on the show or to helm this boat. There's times in your life where you think it's a horrible thing that happened to you, you know, getting fired from a job or not, but it's actually the best thing that ever happened. 100%.

Jared, I hope he fires you and you got off this boat and then you, You got to go straight in your shit out, man, because this shouldn't be on television. Jumping the iTunes, reading some reviews, and I'm very serious about that. Okay. Reviews are slowing down. Audience is getting bigger. What? Get in the reviews. Oh man. Five stars kind words. Okay. Please. We love the reviews. All right. Not the bad ones. That kind of bums me out. I love those two. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Oh no.

patreon.com session of the podcast network live watched along Wednesday, i love those two on the on saying goodbye pat say goodbye all know uh... uh... page and i come such a podcast that work live watch along wednesday six o'clock march twelve pat say goodbye Love