Another Below Deck Podcast - In The Mood For Nuggets | Below Deck Med S10 E16

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

Dylan and Pat are back to break down Coronavirus, Mike and Ike’s, snack wraps, ARFID, paella, Sweeney Todd, anesthesia, pandas and more from Bravo's Below Deck MediterraneanPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

we get to dinner and there's been this mandate that you have to do away with family style and i believe that this is the second do family style again you fucking loser you're a loser that was dominic that was dominic what would dominic say about him and kizzy like trying to try to get to kizzy oh you think you're going to get a shot with kizzy huh That's hilarious. See that broomstick over there? She's been the eye of that all day. Dominic sucks.

He's such a jerk. Hi, hello, welcome to Bad TV. I'm Dylan. I think I have novel coronavirus or something, and I'm sitting right next to Pat. How are you? Oh, don't ever say that word again. Isn't it so in the past?

It's so 2002. No, it's not. It's 2020. But, you know, my Aunt Lynn went to New York in 2007, and refer to it as pre-pandemic. Anyways, how are you guys doing? I hope you're well. Kalen's here.

Hello. Hello. Hello. A little juicy butt over there. Oh, that's why you were correct to me. I meant 20-22, because that's how it lingered a couple more years. Yeah, no, 2002 is the year after 9-11. I love 2002.

Oh, did you? Mm-hmm. What about it? That was just a great year. The boy band disbanded. I was like, you know, finally free of those athletes. souls. The boy band. Oh, your boy band. The boy band. Yeah, I was like, I'm free now. Boy bands did not. Yeah, I got to start eating ice cream again. Be myself. Right, right, right. Yeah. And

yourself was kind of a wardhog in a dimly lit living room, eating an entire box of lucky charms. I didn't even go home for Christmas that year. I just stayed in my shitty apartment. I told my mom, I go, uh, she's like, what are you doing right now for Christmas? I was like, coronavirus. No, no, I said, yeah, I was like, I got corona. She's like, what is that? Um, so I I told my mom, I was like, oh, I'm going over to this, my friend's family's house. We're going to, and she's like, what are you going to get? I'm like, oh, all the things. But no, no, no.

I went over and got a couple flavors of bed and jerrys at 7-Eleven, and that was my Christmas. Yeah. Okay. All right. So, listen, my child is super sick at home. I'm just getting, I'm getting texts like my wife is kind of on the other side of the demilitarized zone. and she's just sending me, and it's like, honey, I have to talk about below deck.

I don't know what to tell you. No, you got to prioritize. This is very important. Exactly. Stuff. Okay. And Kailen, how are you doing? I'm doing good.

Thank you. Okay. A little bit of attitude with that one. You think so? Oh, by the way, I meant to bring you watermelon Mike and Ikes, the sour ones. That's the one you were talking about, right? Yeah.

Way too sour. Dylan, I was in Solvane this weekend, and they had a little shop up there. You know, it's a tourist trap. And it was a, as seen on TV thing, there was a little candy machine. Like one of those that you walk by and you put a quarter in, you crank the little thing. You're talking about like a gumball machine?

That's right. It was a little too rich for my blood. It was 79, 99. If it had a three at the start of it, I was going to pull the trigger for you and you could put all your Mike and Ikes in it. Oh, really? And have it in the studio. There's no better candy machine that swirls around or really just dispenses

sloppily than Mike and Ix. I mean, Mike and Ix and get in the comments, let us know your favorite candy, but I think Mike and Ix are probably, way the go-ed candy of all times. You think it's too late to ask our listeners if they want to buy us something for Christmas? Yep. Hit me up, email me if you want to buy us something.

We're in the final kind of, we're in the final lap, right? We're rounding the corner here towards the finish line of this season, which has been, you know, the more and more I watch, I'm just, I'm so, I just feel as though. And I don't want the audience the thing that we're in the doldrums. Like, we're doing great. Someone yelled at us because we said that watching Real Housewives of Salt Lake was work. I did not say watching television is work. I said that season sucks so bad.

Sometimes having to take notes felt like work when most of the time I was just enjoying it. Right. So there's a difference. It is. It is work. It's a part of our professional lives. But we love it. We're very grateful for it.

But this season, I mean, tonight we had. We had a cartoon. The devil. We had a cartoon representation of self-doubt. I want to talk about that. Most devils on your shoulder, they're actually kind of your friend. They're like, hey, Josh, when your co-worker is off like going to get drunk or something on that night out, go into his little locker box and steal all his tip money, you know? But this devil on his shoulder is like, hey, you fucking loser, those breadcrumbs on the floor will see a naked woman before you do because you're a loser.

Right. It's like not a really good devil on your shoulder. It's pretty negative. I'm making kind of a false distinction right now. So I think that devils are never really your friend, but they're supposed to encourage you to do something, right? They're not supposed to just shit on you. So Derek, Derek the ego devil on Josh's shoulder,

really just kind of berates him for being a loser, right? And devils usually are like, there's one more line left. You should do it. And that causes you to overdose. Right. So anyways, not a great season. You know, we're kind of whimpering here a little bit.

More stuff with Kizzy and Joe the Ho. But, you know, I had some fun this episode. You know, we had nuggets being thrown. We had Max storming offset. Just disgusted that his profession of love was not met with the same kind of romantic gravitas that he was expecting. I don't know if it's a cultural thing or if he's clinically insane. And I think it's the latter because I've seen and met French people before.

They're not lunatics. They're just French. You know, they just smell like cheese. But that doesn't mean that they're crazy. They're actually really lovely people. Now, they smoke so much that their fingernails are discolored, as are their teeth. But so are mine, you know, and I find kinship in them. And I also love bread.

So anyways, two pots, not a fan. Right. Okay. Well, before I get to my thoughts and pots, by the way, great thoughts and pots. Thank you. I want to talk about traders, which we are really. Recapping right now, and boy, did I have no idea. Dylan doesn't like me to talk numbers, and I won't.

But I will say this. We dropped three episodes this week on this feed here. Boy, we blew up the goddamn internet. People love us recapping that. Very popular. If you haven't given it a try yet, just give us a listen. Yeah. Give us a listen.

We made a lot of people happy this week because it's only going to be free for a little bit longer. And I should apologize to you because you mentioned that Stephen Coletti was on One Tree Hill. me and Ruby kind of nipped at you a little bit because obviously he's from Laguna Beach and not One Tree Hill. I also pointed out, Dylan, that I know a casting agent that booked him on that show, and they were going to put his real occupation, which is barista at Starbucks, but they thought it would be sadder to list One Tree Hill as his occupation. Right. So here's the thing, though. He wasn't on One Tree Hill. He was on Laguna Beach. Kalan, you know Stephen Coletti?

I do not. Sorry. Okay. So he was on Laguna Beach. Kind of a archetype for me as a young man, like everything that I aspired to be, right? Kind of. But they on the traders put his Chiron as one tree hill, which is just a glaring oversight and pretty disrespectful to his legacy in media. Patreon.com slash another podcast network. Okay. Now my thoughts and pots. Okay, I don't know if this was a glaring oversight on my part. Oh, go there also APS.

We got an APS coming up soon. I had the most disastrous postman experience. I mean, you would not bought $200 back, but it took me two hours. Really? Yeah. One would argue, is it worth your time? Two hours, $100 an hour? Yeah.

Are yelling at people from Nepal? I would say that's my favorite pastime. Okay. I'm going to plug something, Dylan. Okay. The most popular show on our network is PMZ. This week, this week, I had, well, we've all had this happen to us, which is a text that we get in the middle of the day from a number we don't recognize, from an area code we don't recognize. I'm horny.

Want to play golf? Something along those lines. A text that's simple that just says, hi, how have you bed? And then what are you going to do with something like that? Yeah. You could block it and then delete it and then 30 seconds later, you forgot that you even got it. Or you could do what old Patty did this week, which is something very childish, stupid and unproductive.

Love that. And respond to it. Yeah. Or you could do what I do, which is say you should end your life, which is not, it's very dark and like, you don't want to do that. But I do think that. Hmm. All right.

Thoughts and pots. Trying to fucking take old people's money. What the fuck is wrong with you? I would argue this isn't going to solve it or end that problem of these horrible con artists from different foreign lands about. Or Delaware. But helping waste their time for hours at a time. had nothing to do all day. Why not just do this? Sure, that's what I'm saying. And I could hear,

wherever this person was, I guarantee. Don't redeem it. Don't redeem it. They're like, I got a big one, boss. I bet they thought they had a big fish hooked on that line. This poor person was probably chained to a computer desk. We got to get into the show. Sorry, sorry. Anyway, thoughts and pots. I don't know if I saw footage that was incorrect, but I thought I saw at some point Joe the home making out with Kathy. We only have like two episodes left. And I'm trying to figure out how that might come together. Now, not to get ahead of myself, but at the tail end of this episode, we did see as you touched

on. Max does not get what he wants emotionally. Kathy would prefer, I don't know, after she got beamed off the noggin with that goddamn chicken McNugget, I want to go down and eat a cheeseburger as opposed to hear Max professes love for her. Right. She wants the chicken nuggets, but she'll take a snack wrap over what she's having. to endure. And snack wraps, everyone knows, are disgusting. That's right. Yeah. So clearly,

this may cause Max to push away and then her to put the nail in the coffin of there being any future for these two might just make out with Joe on that final night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll be fun. I'm actually looking forward to that. So that's where all my heart is right now at the tail end of the season, just because I want to see what happens with all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, all this other stuff is pointless as far as I'm concerned. And we have one more charter left. Um, yeah, I like, Is it Dominic the really angry, mean-spirited devil on his shoulder? Yeah. I can have that guy keep coming back.

V is just a knuckle. I'm sorry. I enjoyed watching them do that Spanish stance in front of V. I'll touch on that later. I enjoyed it because it was just so mean-spirited. Oh, yeah. My God. Yeah.

People. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really rude. Anyway, all right, I'm going to give it 14 knots. Joe sucks. Oh, yeah, he does. You're not going to believe this, Dylan. the audience actually likes him.

No, impossible. Get in the comments. Let us know if you like Joe the hell. Crazy. He's going to approach her and go, hey, from here on out, I promise you, I'm not going to hurt you. Okay.

Anyways, let's get into it. Last we left off, Nathan and Maximilian were feuding over the jet ski stuff, right? Now, Sandy comes out. And much to Nathan's chagrin, she goes, you can't scream right now. There's people eating. paying absurd amounts of money. She goes, Nathan, imagine if you went to a nice restaurant,

and there was something going on with the busboys, this is what you are. And people were just screaming at it. This is a big distraction, okay? It really is. He's just wanting her to turn her turret to Maximilian, but what Nathan doesn't understand is that the leadership steps that he's taken throughout this entire season

are so unbelievably inappropriate that it overshadows the incompetence of the sea rats beneath him. Can I say this? There's only two times that I actually hear employees yelling at each other and like, Chipotle, but Rush hour at Chipotle, you'll get some fucking fumes. Oh, with the employees? Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay, fair enough. I don't frequent that establishment. Me neither. But it's either on these boats on this show. Yeah. Or Bar rescue. I'm not kidding. Yeah, yeah. Bar rescues. Because you walk into an establishment where people are, they, know it's coming to an end, but it's kind of like they're scamming the government right now, right? So they show up, they drink free booze, and they don't have to work. The second somebody comes in and

orders an entire menu, they're like, my fucking God, I didn't sign up for this. And it's like, well, you actually did. Now, I believe you're referring to, and boy, I believe you're referring to the stress test that John Tapper does, which is, yeah, yeah, if you guys thought you were incompetent, wait till we have 58 people walk through the door all at once in order within five minutes. To be fair, is unfair. I mean, there's a convicted felon cooking the mozzarella sticks. He has a cigarette in his hand right now inside. It's like not okay to do.

So Josh, aka Bozo, I want to. we should credit someone who said how did you guys how did we not call this guy bozo for an entire season what the fuck is wrong with you know what i blame you i know i know i know i know you're not on your lately you're not on your naming game oh i think this is one of my best seasons but not with the name thing you're so good at the name thing i know you know we go over to housewives and you call rachel sows child who's named kaias you just call him little ted little ted i'm not going to bother with that name. And what about that Amanda chick? She's got like 14 of those little things running around. I'm not going to learn any of their names. You mean humans. Right. Right. And I think that she just,

and we'll talk about it on that show, which we cover, I think she's just running a Ponzi, a pyramid scheme. Pretty much just a pyramid scheme. Kind of like what Patrick Bet David did, where like if you want to be a leadership counselor, just buy my tools so that you can lead other people. Ah, that's a multi, multi-level scheme. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or she could be getting investors in her business. Oh, kind of like Elizabeth Holmes. Mm-hmm.

It does everything. Just one drop. One drop of the box that does everything. If Jen Shaw's out of the pokey, I bet she's got to be ready to be paroled. Elizabeth Holmes? Yeah, one drop. Bad person, right?

Elizabeth, I know that you're ambitious, but we have public health to worry about, right? So anyways, Um, uh, Bozo has self-doubt and his, his self-doubt, you know,

many of us have self-doubt. Um, his self-doubt is kind of spontaneously personified to a fictitious degree by a random question from producers. Did you guys have, uh, what was that game show like the confession? It was the whammy and he used to mock the contestants.

I don't know what that. No, you don't have the whammy. He had a funny little voice. Yeah. I just imagine Dominic's like the whammy. You're talking about the gong show? No, no, no, anyway.

We'll move on. Get in the comments. Yeah, yeah. So the guests sit down to dinner, um, wherein one of the guests talks about, um, eating a,

a tomato like an apple wall driving. Um, um, I have no problem with people eating a tomato like an apple. Um, you know, People are very arfiddy about tomatoes. And I'm also just as a broader PSA,

and I know that you won't be with me on this just because you're not online, but, you know, there's an arphid craze going on right now where there are lots of people with arfid filming themselves eating stuff. And arfid is what Emily's child has, where he only eats French fries. I mean, you become a panda. Then you become a panda, right?

So there are people with arphid going like, today I'm going to try a banana and then they try it and it's gross to them and it's like I don't give a shit okay so you're a freak that doesn't like bananas okay let's just fucking move on I don't like anchovies but anyways this guy and let me tell you something else I don't either they need to be blitzed and they need to be cooked into whatever they're uh because who are these people I mean I you know I love a Caesar I love a season and this is controversial I'll take a white anchovy they're a little more tamed but uh let's not not lay anchovies on top of the salad. It's, it's just such an overwhelming thing. But anyways, this guy says that he eats tomatoes like apples and then he says that they're phenomenal finger food. Now, whole apples eating like a whole tomatoes eating like apples are not a good finger food. And eating an apple, excuse me, I get so, I'm a little peeved about this because can you imagine just driving and gnawing a tomato? I mean, imagine the ruin

that it would cause. You're on your way to pitch solar panels to some fucking person that you scanned, and you've got tomatoes all over yourself, you know? I got a story for you. I sorry you just triggered me with that whole eating an apple. Well, it took me a half an hour, so I'm glad we got sick. I didn't have a car in college, so my roommate, Greg Gutio, we call them the Gouche. He had like a shitty Volkswagen station wagon.

Anyway, we're in the car. It's like snowy and whatnot. The car in front of us, the dudes eating an apple. I don't care. He's driving in front of us. Anyway, he tosses the half-eaten apple out of his car. The Gooch, he ain't down with that. That's polluting.

He fucking follows him. He steps on the accelerator. We're in a high-speed chase. He wants to track this guy down to settle his hash with him polluting the earth with an apple core. Yeah. I'm like, Gouche, calm down, man. It's not like an apple, I'm sorry, like a milk container. Right, right, right, right.

I could not calm him down. No, it's crazy. And what happened to the Gooch there is his devil. took over. Gooch do, right? It was like, you got to chase this guy. This is not okay. But no, I'm a fan of throwing anything by a degradable out of a window. That's what I'm saying. The guests are ready for dinner, but first, Nathan has to demonstrate how to get the jet skis up. And he says, I'm doing this so that the deck team know that this is how I want it done for the rest of the season,

which if you're keeping track, is 18 hours. Okay. I think he wanted to prove he was right. Dylan, I do want to hark it back. Sorry, go back a few steps here. Do you remember when Josh was shaving that poor... You're talking about Bozo? Bozo was shaving that poor calf's leg

and it was like knocking all over the place. Yeah, it's pork. Did they just skip over that and then just move on from it? Did we ever see how that ended? Well, yeah, he took kind of like buckshot slugs of Iberian ham out of. the leg. The animal died and was cured needlessly for that. You know, I always feel bad. Like, I'll personify or anthropomorphize a blueberry. You know, I don't like the last one to be.

It feels like a little, I'm sorry, buddy, you know, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, Wow. Wow, I was right. So Kizzy and Joe the Ho start to rehearse their Spanish dance. Okay. Now this is a tango.

This is a flamenco. I don't know what the fuck this is, but it's sexy. It's hot. It's Barcelona. I think this, maybe this happened later, but I think this is when Joe tells us he,

he's going to marry a dancer. He's just like Madonna. She said, she always knew she was going to, who she would fall in love with. He's just like Madonna. She's just like Madonna. She's going to marry a dancer.

Sean Penn's not a dancer. But he wasn't her true love. Who was? I don't know. Someone. It wasn't Guy Ritchie either. I guess she's still holding out. Oh.

Yeah. Okay. Stray shot at Madonna. I just remember her saying that. And you didn't watch the Globes? Nope. I watched a football game. Okay.

How was it? The Globes? Nikki Glazer was fantastic. Yeah. I thought she did such a good job. There was just one joke that was so brutal that she said, I was watching Wicked and I was two hours in and I was like, oh my God,

there's 45 minutes left of this and it just cuts Dariana Grunay. And it just makes me sad that the first Wicked was so fantastic. And then we just do this second one and we end with a wimper. You know, I won't even watch it. I won't even watch it. Get in the comments. Okay. We get to dinner and there's been this mandate that,

you have to do a way with family style. And I believe that this is the second. Do family style again, you fucking loser. You're a loser. That was Dominic. That was Dominic. What would Dominic say about him and Kizzy, like trying to get to Kizzy?

Oh, you think you've got to get a shot with Kizzy, huh? That's hilarious. See that broomstick over there? She's been to eye on that all day. Dominic sucks. He's such a jerk. All right. So you see that broomsick over there?

We're getting away from family style. Now we've done one, I think, solo plates. And this is going to be the second time we get away from family style. I would say that there are a couple of different dishes that absolutely must be done families. style. And paella is one of them. Yeah. Okay. So paella as the sum of its parts before you is one of the most beautiful stunning dishes in the culinary arts, maybe a whole animal, something like that. But what we've distilled it down to is a slop of rice on the corner of a plate. Okay. Paya, out of its full presentation, is really a rotten thing to look at.

So we've got two kinds squid ink and meat, aka meat. Thought it was a grotesque kind of similar to what he did to that little pig's leg is what he did to this paella, given the mandate from Asia. They have even the animal kingdom hates you, you fucking zero. And he's so old school. Oh, I bit my lip. Dominic, he calls him a zero. I mean, how breakfast club is that? Anyways, two pots.

We get to the dance and we get a little C-Rat. My favorite part of the episode was C-Rat. Sorry, I felt like it didn't take a time out. Okay. All right, during this. Galen, just to let you know what's coming up, this is where a sexually promiscuous young woman says that she had a divorced family.

And her mom had a lot of boyfriend. So Pat's really excited for this. Let's not step on the C-Ride history. Sorry. We've got to slowly work into this. Okay. So Kizzy and Joe are doing that Spanish. Dance very romantic.

And then we get into some C-Rat history. Now, Jizzy, apparently when she was four, her parents got divorced. Yeah. And it was because of you, you zero. Now, Dominic. shut up. And her mom proceeded to have a cavalcade of rando men come into her life. Now get this. This is her words. Now, man. Because she needed company. And Kizzy says she's like her mom in this way. These are direct quotes. And wait for it because this is how she frames it. Because like her mom,

she's a hopeless, romantic. Okay. Now, uh, 400 points. Okay. Wait, but 400 points. I got another word for it. 400 points for the actual correct term for this behavior. Dylan, do you have it? No. It's called codependency. Oh, yeah, I got it. It's not a hopeless romantic.

Yes, yes. With a smattering of love addiction. Yeah. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, no, that was a really good C-Rat history. Thank you, sir. How many points do you give up? Minus 4.

On the C-Rat-Sat scale. Minus 400 Randos. I don't think there were 400. Six. Well, she ends this by saying, I mean, it's probably the funniest part of the whole thing. She says, I think there's a real spark with Joe. You idiot.

What? She said also, like, maybe we'll just meet later in life and get married. No, I'm kidding. Listen, these are all very young people. I'm an idiot now. So I hope that, you know, we can all grow. This is how you end up settling down. You're sorry.

so tired. You don't even have the energy anymore. Yes. That's, yeah, you either fall in love or you concede to life. That's how you fall. That's great. That should be on a poster. I think so. Sell it at home goods. Let's get to the next day and Tosa del Mar, Sandy says at the end of the day, they're going to be wanting Cosa del Mar. They're going to be wanting Cosa del Moore. A good one, Sandy. A bunch of meanwhile's, V is going to double down on her own work. and it's at this point where I'm realizing like this is kind of uh and we have these moments in below deck I understand that it can't all be fireworks but we're cutting the V and she's like you know I'm just gonna like take this I'm gonna work so much harder at like wiping fucking railings and shit like that it's like you don't have it

you don't have it because I don't fucking give a shit nobody gives a shit you know also I think yeah what you say is like throwing yourself into work yeah yeah yeah that maybe when you're I don't know, you're working on a Spielberg film and you're like the first AD. You might be able to throw yourself into work. You know, you take your mind off things. But when you're like, oh, I can see my reflection in the railway. Well, what I'm saying is anyone throwing themselves into work, unless you're a private eye, fairly boring. Right.

It's work. So Kizzy asks what kind of trouble she can start today. and Max wakes up and makes stupid sounds. So V walks through the kitchen and Kissy's like, what's up with her? And Aisha has to remind her that you made out with her C-Rat boyfriend and then two inches away from her face professed that you had zero remorse and no regrets over doing so.

Also, Joe the Ho and Kizzy are having just a little too much fun at V's expense here, enjoying themselves. Taunt and torture. Gross, gross behaviors. So Max is hopped up on Kathy and says, it's tough for me to hear everything that he's saying when I'm watching the show, but I think he said that he wants to be strong and anesthetic for her. Whoa.

That's how I thought he said. Wow. I don't even know what that word means. Anesthetic? Uh-huh. It's something that puts you to sleep when you're getting carved apart. Oh. Some Sweeney Todd character over at Cedar Sinai, you know.

I love the music from that musical. Yeah. Galen, how are you doing? I'm good, thank you. I was going to say here. You know, Kermit turns a relationship. There's a little, a little. A little bit of a lull, I would say, probably.

That happens. Yeah, if you want, find out Mr. Pirk does to you. Yeah. God, there is some really beautiful music from that play. Who's that? Sonheim. Sonheim. Sonheim.

Mm-hmm. Kermit turns relationship counselor here when she speaks with Max. I think she's doing the wrong thing here because Max probably assumes that Kermit and Kathy are talking. So when Kermit is advising him on the future of what he should do, she's really not doing him any favors here because she's encouraging him to follow his heart. When she should probably be telling him, you know, these things are hard. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, give her some space, see what happens in the future. She's a lot like Dominic in this moment.

Yeah. Yeah. So let's get to toast. She's going to bake out what you're roommate. Oh my God, I have a smoke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, let's get to Tosa or Kosa, whatever the fuck it's called. It's an old town.

And this is fun. There's a little dividing line between the past and the present. 1187. And we go to. this town with the two lovers, Jizzy and V, who chat a little bit more about the kiss. Now,

I think that well, Kizzy proceeds to just continue to behave like a fucking monster, right? Like something that who's that guy that

made Glee and then all of the shows about people getting their skin cut off? Oh, Ryan Murphy. Yeah. So she behaves like a Ryan Murphy character, right? But to her defense, in her defense, like I mentioned last week, Kizzy has like wellness, bro energy. So like Kizzie, or V approaches her again and starts talking in these like, I don't know if grandiose is the right word, but like too earnest nomenclature about C-Rat hookup. and it's like, V, I get that they're pieces of shit, but like, just fucking move on. Yeah.

I'm glad you're kind of coming around to this because I am too. It's all, all right. We're all fucking sea rats. We're all young. We're all drunks. We're having the time of our lives. Right. You guys weren't engaged.

You guys weren't even in a relationship. We're all hooking up. Who gives a flying fuck? We're not saying that you're not right. But like, you can hate me for what I did. But can we get over this now? Now, obviously, we're not going to be friends. Right. Now, let's get to Kizzy, who is a monster who says...

Definitely you wouldn't trust her around your actual boyfriend. No. Heaven's no. But she says, why do you care if you weren't going to be anything? And it's not fair for you to expect me to not explore that with Joe. just gross. You know how like people in like the throes of addiction and people with like borderline personality disorders can like do these like gross justifications of their behavior and they get like super defensive and it's like this whoa Jesus Christ I had no idea that you that that I'm getting that from jizzy a little bit. Here's here's another thing that's I think taking

place here because they're so immature and so this happens when people cheat on each other or are there it's all hot when it's all secretive or you can't have each other. They, uh, did they already have the conversation? Once you guys are on the golf course together and you're, it's not fun. All right.

So you'll get off this boat because you've been waiting to get at each other. Right. You're going to pound each other on a Saturday and watch some Netflix and, uh, do it again. And then you do it again and then you're going to get on separate planes and then you're, you're not going to care. And that'll be the end of it. Or you go,

this is a real thing. And then, you know, it's crazy month or two. And then you're at Sizzler and you go, what are we doing? You know? So listen, they have not matured the way that Nathan has. Nathan has really, really matured. He has gone from blacking out and falling over in his cabin to screaming at French people. I forgot.

I let that look back. It's unbelievable. So Kizzy rides back and says to Aisha, she's so confused about V being upset. And she goes, what was I supposed to do? And Aisha says very clearly, don't be a bitch. It's very simple. Just don't be a bitch.

I love Aisha as the voice of reason and common sense. And just being a nice person. So Nathan asks Gail to come to his sister's wedding in Ireland, which is coincidentally the same land that they venture to in the past, after which he stopped speaking to her for five whole days and she thought he might have died. So it's very romantic. Now, I want to say this to Nate, you do this time. You break it, you own it.

Like if you fuck up this time, you're going to hell. Yeah, well, he is a C rat baby, so let's hope not. So we get to water toys and speed with Maximilian. Now, anyone who has been on the back of a tender in an inner tube knows that if you want, if you want to get fucking real, you crank that shit up to 11. Okay, Bermuda Triangle, Tornado Alley, whatever demonic patterning the driver has in store for you, you say let's roll. Now, you'll likely be concussed.

You could break your neck. But that's how you have fun tubing. Nathan and Sandy, and another reason why these vacations are a little lackluster, what's up with the safety police, huh? Well, you're like my mother when I went rollerblading. making me wear knee pads and elbow pads. Okay, we're all adults. Well, they got a lot of liability on these things,

you know. Everybody's super crazy these days. I understand. But Sandy wants Max to slow down, and the guests want them to go fast. And we've got another safety violation and another ignoring of Nathan's pleas to adhere to the safety regulations. How is Max still here?

That's what I'm saying. And when we talk about, like, firing him and Nathan being, like, Ahmed here with that guy. It's, what are you going to do? You got one charter left.

He doesn't like to fire people. Yeah. Although he did fucking fire two people out of the gate. Well, they were, you know, we mentioned panda bears earlier in the episode. They were essentially just

bamboo eating, you know, bean bags. You collect this all day. Well, no. Okay. Yeah.

That's koalas. Oh. Oh. You have animosity towards the And if I'm recalling correctly. Because they don't really, they don't really do much. They just kind of, they just, they just kind of sit around and eat bamboo, which I think is a difficult crop to grow.

Although it might be easy. I'm not sure. But they are mean and, they're very cute, though, and we should save them. Let's get to the Ibiza Dina Rave, baby. Kathy seems to be doing well. Stepdad who? No, I'm kidding. We all grieve in different ways.

But we have Dominic here. Oh. To say, I don't know, something mean. You know, fucking. Yeah. Something like, if you shout up my beef at, they'd be like, what's this loser doing here? You know?

So, the ladies before we get to dinner, find a vagina sponge. This is a sponge for the vagina, I believe. Oh, I must have missed that. Oh, you missed it, did you? It was a pink brush. I don't think it was for a vagina. I think it was for, uh,

it looked to me like one of the guests had brought along a toilet brush for themselves because they didn't trust the standards of cleanliness for the sea rats. Or they're like Howard Hughes and they're just out of their minds. Um, anyways, if you know what that brush was, get in the comments, let us know.

Uh, for dinner, we have Langustine Bisk with a butternut puree. Uh, butternut, like tortellini or something. Beautiful dish. I love the colors. The texture of the bisque playing off the sweetness of the butternut squash.

It was a dish that, dare I say, I wanted to sit down and eat. Really? Now we have a little bit of an issue because coming up after that is a snapper with white wine, tomato, and pepper puree, which is the same consistency hue and texture as the lobster bisque, which is lazy. It's sloppy and it's uninventive. And Dominic's right. You do suck.

Bozo. No, I'm kidding. But I'm not kidding. Why the homogenization between the two? At least Bozo had people that like him. Okay. Two pots. Yeah, not great.

Max hops into Kathy's bed and he says, he sings rather, what are we? And she says, please don't ask me. to be your girlfriend. She said, let's put it off till tomorrow. Clear as day. Please do not ask me to be your girlfriend. Now, Joe DJs.

And as Joe is DJing, Kizzy uses his leg as a kind of stripper pole almost. She thrusts up and down, rubbing her bits and nips all up on his quads. And she says that she's his biggest fan. I don't know what's going to happen in the finale. but if we get a turn from Kizzy to Kathy, that's going to be shocking. I mean, you remember when you found out

that Darth Vader was actually Luke Skywalker's father? Just like that. Dill, one thing that we've missed here is Joe the Ho is kind of turning on his best buddy, Nate. And I think it's for one reason. Nate keeps telling Joe the Ho,

you fucking cool it. You're really upsetting V, and if V gets upset, she could kill us all. so because Joe's doing that every time Nate talks to Joe the ho about Max being crazy Joe is trying to both sides it yeah uh Joe has a sex and love addiction problem I think that's what's going on my his boss is literally saying like dude I need you to stop doing this you're acting like a bad person it's ruining the work environment and he's just like got it nope it's nuts he has no control over it

So Kizzy and Joe laugh and flirt a little bit. And this is where, yes, Nathan gets really set off. Joe says that he says calm down and it's not that big of a deal. And he says that V wanted something more. And it didn't work out. Oh, so this is the next morning. No, I think it's that evening. They're out on the boat.

And Joe goes, it's not a problem. She wanted something more. It didn't work out. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were referring to the. conversation he actually has with V. No, no, no. This is with Nathan.

He goes, she wanted something more. Joe, you were the one that sent your mother pictures of her. You were the one that was crying in tears going, I don't know how to navigate these feelings I have for you. Okay. Fucking psychotic stuff. So we get to the next day. Okay. Next morning.

And Joe starts it off with a chat with me. Mm-hmm. He says what we had, nobody can take that away from us. What you had is a chicken terriaccus skewer, half eaten in a in a trash can. That's what you had. Okay. So it's kind of your fault, too. Take it away from me.

Please take it away from me. Well, it's kind of your fault, too, Luffy. You know, I was the one who wanted to stay in this relationship. Yeah, yeah. You were the one who kind of ended. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, yeah, well, fuck that. And then he throws her in olive branch.

She's like, all right, how about this? How about this? If I won't bang jizzy, right, out of respect for you. Right. Okay, why don't we, we'll just say we're both wrong, you know? Oh, that's a social contract right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think she goes for it.

Yeah, she goes for it. He goes, from here on out, I won't hurt you. Which is stupid to do because, one, he's going to hurt her. And two, you've got a day left. Just putting the garbage disposal. So the guest apart, and we get a side. We're a sizable tip. Yeah, we do.

But before they do, the guess, and this is a pretty common thing, every time they always say they don't want to leave. And I'm like, you want to continue to live in an eight-foot-by-eight-foot cabin. Well, the master's nice. The master's nice. Okay. Yeah. All right, 27 grand, 2,400 each.

These people were good tippers. Great tippers. Let's get to the night out. All right. This was very interesting. Okay. Uh, dinner conversation moves from Spanish dance to how many different words there are for blowjobs. Classy as usual.

Joe is only too happy to contribute to that conversation. And then, uh, Nate and V are so disgusted. They take a sig, sick, sick break. Mm-hmm. And I think this is when, uh, jizzy and Joe think it's a good time to, uh,

recapture the magic that was that Spanish dance. Uh-huh. And I think this is when V actually returns. Yeah, well, Kizzy says that she has to do this because it brings Joe an immense amount of happiness to see her tits pop out. Right. When they're dancing. Now, this may be not a proper analogy. Maybe this is going too far, but you know when there's a-

I bet it is. Oh, yeah. You know when there's like a pride of like lions and they take down that caribou? Uh-huh. And then like the rest of the caribou, you know, because the pride of lions. The hooved animal in Alaska. Yeah, yeah. Right.

But the rest of the caribus, you know, they. like they don't like they don't run off to like a mile away they like stay pretty close because you know they got one like holy shit fred is getting fucked up and fred right is someone's relatives of the rest of the caribou right so they just they're like i don't know like 20 yards away right and then poor fred's getting eaten yeah probably making small talk like hey you guys that well not small talk he's actually yelling at his family saying i told you that we shouldn't have moved to africa well you know when the lion's feet and his leg. He's like, hey, you want to start with my back? You know, I got maybe some spinal stuff. My C5 in the back is there. Or he's like, have you seen one battle after another?

Anyway, his sister's over there watching, right? It pains her as my point. Yeah. I mean, she might be saying better him than me. Right. But I'm saying it's just like that with this. V has to look at this. It's painful. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like that. No, it's perfect. That's a perfect analogy. Right, Kaelin? Exactly. Thanks. God. The Animal Kingdom is so intense. You see these videos and it's like...

I had to stop watching the animal planet. I know, me too. Because it was just... They should have just called it what it is. Watch animals eat other animals. And it's kind of like crazy. Like, you know, I love a lion, right? They're beautiful.

And Lion King was great when me and Kailen were growing up. But like, there's seven of you. Can we have a little tact, please? Do you need to start at his hips? Okay. Or his arm. The caribou's like, hey,

do you mind start with my leg? I might have to itch my back. No, no, no. How about this? If I'm the caribou, I go,

can you guys start at my throat, please? And then you can have the rest of me. Let's not eat my fucking leg. It's like fucking crazy. Talk about anesthesia. Jesus Christ. Man,

it just bums me out. I'm so sorry. So anyways, we get back to the boat. Joe and Kizzy. Can't do anything. Rules of rules. Rules or rules.

Chastity belt. And he needs to keep his word. Yeah. Yeah. Nathan FaceTime's Gail in a leather jacket. And Max wants to propose to Kathy. Now, they're laying there on the after,

whatever deck this is, whatever platform. And while they're chatting away, chicken nuggets come flying over the bow. Okay, they're getting pelted. And she's pissed because she's been drinking. And she's asked for one thing,

chicken nuggets. Now, when you've been drinking and someone orders food, there is no greater optimism, high anticipation. Two in the morning waiting for that run to come back to the apartment. One fast food item you wanted. It is not given to her in its, I don't know what McDonald's is doing. Maybe it's a biodegradable container nowadays. But you open that up and you see the congealed.

a mess of bone and tissue and waddle there to be dipped in sweet and sour. No, you don't see that. You see half-bitten versions of that getting thrown at your head. And because of that, Kathy is extremely upset. She walks down there and she goes, what the fuck is going on? And they say, we got a Big Mac. I didn't want a Big Mac. I want to say this.

I think she was all too pleased to be pulled the fuck out of that conversation. Absolutely. I mean, come on. This is a big tell. When someone is doing a heart to heart, if you're into it, there ain't nothing. Stop it. Like swap out pebbles for those chicken McNuggets. You ain't moving.

You'd go, let's just go some ways where we can be alone to talk about this. She, for whatever reason, I know why he's fucking annoying. She ain't into this. Dude, I think she's enjoying the hookups and whatnot. She's a normal person. Yeah. She's just a reasonable human being. How many episodes we got left?

You know, I think two. I've watched the first 10 minutes. of Dan and Dad. Dan and Dad. Yeah. So it's got to be coming to a close pretty soon. Yeah, I think we're right. We're finishing this up.

But Max gets up and is disgusted by Kathy's behavior. Here he is professing his love for her. And all she's doing is thinking about how she doesn't want him to profess his love to her. So that's how we end the episode. Get in the comments. Let us know your thoughts on any of the things that we discussed this evening. How's your horoscope look in these days? and yeah other stuff

I hope you guys are having a great January we love you so much I'm Dylan saying goodbye Pat say goodbye later dudes