Another Below Deck Podcast - It’s The Ozempic | Below Deck Med S10 E7

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

GLP-1s, Guess Who, Opera, Mongols, birds, dish soap, blood, Campbell’s soup   Dylan and Pat are back to break down GLP-1s, Guess Who, Opera, Mongols, birds, dish soap, blood, Campbell’s soup and more from Bravo's Below Deck MediterraneanPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

But when you're that age, your guard is not high enough. The Mongols can get over the wall very easily. Yes, yes. And Joe is a Mongol. So Joe is in the back of a van speaking Spanish to a Cuban woman about how he can see her soul. You don't know this guy. If you see Caterpillar eyebrows speaking Spanish to you about your soul, run for the hills, the wall is not high enough.

Hey, hello, welcome aboard, another brand spanking new episode of Bad TV. I'm Dylan. That is Patrick. Permission to come aboard. What's up with you? Well, um... I wanted more poppin circumstance because it's buzzball Friday. You you buzz ball Friday.

Okay, a couple things going on in the studio. Kailen's here as well. Say hi. Hey. You were on drugs right now. Yes. Uppers and downers. You know, I saw a really funny video the other day from Reno 9-1-1, and it was Truddy, Truddy.

Trudy. Trudy. Trudy. She was like, this one's, this one gets me up. This one gets me down. This one keeps the demons away, and this one stops me from shit and myself. Now, you are on a cocktail similar to that. You're on, what, we govi?

GLP ones. GLP ones. Okay. So Patrick is taking GLP ones. They are giving him allergies. And also you seem impervious to the effects of alcohol right now Because I think you're on speed Uh, it kind of feels that way, right?

Which I, obviously, it's going to be a great show. Okay. Cool, cool, cool. So, uh, yeah, if anybody wants any of what Pat's on, you can go to hers.com. Use promo code bad TV. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Let them know we sent you.

And also, I think you could just lie about your weight on the application. That's what I did. All right, listen, we're here to talk about below deck. We have a bachelor below deck crossover. I love, love, loved this. We need to have one of these a season. It should just be a mandated thing. We have white parties every year.

Why can't we have fucking creepy bachelors bringing young women onto yachts? Whatever youngling, whatever producer, young underling suggested this. Younglings are the are the children. children that were slaughtered by Anakin Skywalker. Yeah, that's true. Underlings. Hey, can you look up how many younglings Anna can slaughter? He killed nine. Nine? I don't think that's right. Nine? I think nine. I thought it was like 50. And I don't think a lot of below-deck listeners probably enjoy Star Wars, but I have to say this as a Star Wars fan. You really ruined Star Wars when you had Anakin Skywalker killed.

children. But he did. I know. Okay. I want to make it clear that I'm obviously I'm like always grossed out when like gross gross, gross pigs bring young women on boats. And maybe we don't need to see that every season. Just a small amendment. Maybe we don't need to see that. Hold on. Joe, I don't. I had my my tail was up. I was alarmed. Someone was trying to be pervy around my den, right? He seemed like a nice ish guy. It's so funny you say that because I had the same opinion. I was ready to, like, just dig into this guy.

Yeah. And at the end of the day, he seemed like just a decent guy. He looks a little too old for 47. I mean, he should get a new skincare regimen. Uh-huh. You know, I hate to judge people. That's not who I am. You don't, and it is.

And the important thing in this world is to individuate. You can't run from that. If you're a judgy bitch, just accept that that's who you are and love yourself. You do not need to go on OZempic. I'm a very shallow person. All right.

How many pods do you give this episode? Okay, I love this. And also, if you want to listen to the Real House Fries of Salt Lake crossover with Below Deck, big breath. Go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. Also, drink buzzballs as a companion piece

to the podcast. It just makes it better. Uh-huh. Okay. Do the first one, if you're going to do either. Buzzballs are a sign that we're failing as an empire. Okay. Lastly, just a note on this, I love this episode.

It's probably my favorite episode of the season so far. The Millionaire Matchmaker, did you ever watch Patty Stanger? We've talked about Patty Stanger many times. Okay. She's never maintained a, healthy relationship her entire life yet feels compelled to match people yeah yeah it's a wonderful thing yeah what's uh what's an example what's a good analogy well those who can't do teach i'm going to i was going to say it's like a blind guy playing guess who but that doesn't make any sense you would

you would imagine that the blind would be very bad at that game uh well it's um it's like uh well i went to school at the musicians institute and a bunch of those people are obviously failures and they're teaching us how to play guitar yeah but getting back to the blind guy playing guess who you you know what i'm talking about right kay i mean i you know i mean how would we even you know does your guy have glasses no you wouldn't even know if that would eliminate anything who your person was or really even where the little tabs are to not go i mean it would just be a completely i think i'm getting a little too hung up how about going to college and like going to a business class and then asking the professor what business did you own he's like uh i never owned a business okay that's a little bit better

less fun how many pots 42 all right i'm going to give this episode a good amount of pots i thought it was a great time great watch um my favorite thing about this episode and my favorite person of the season, and really every season. Can I take a guess? Yeah. Of every season. I'm sorry, I changed my mind. Go ahead.

Keep going. Okay. I thought you were going to say Joe. No. No. Asia is, I just adore Asia. And you can tell that Asia's good people because

one, the way she approaches Joe at the end of the episode, just like, listen. Knock it off. Knock it off. She's just got a good core. But also, she was really letting it fly when it came to Anna, who is just a mongrel who's going to be unhappy for the rest of her life, and Aisha hates her.

Hunter Potts. Great take. I agree. I picked out Anna as well. She's a Russian spy. Oh, yeah. Boy, a true testament to how guys pick women. The two women that have character and are very nice and potential, let's get rid of them.

Let's keep the girl that's not into me and is a horrible person. I think very shallow. I think one of the problems might have been, and we're speaking of the elimination of Leah, It's a good bet to say you're a big trumper to a person who's chartering a yacht. Might have misfired on that. He said me too, though. Oh, did he really? Oh, interesting.

Maybe he's like us and he thinks that opera is just not that impressive. Well, I hate opera. If you sing to me like that, you're out of here. I hate opera. That is such a weird. I hate it. No. And most people do.

Most people do. No, no one likes it. Get in the comments. We all hate opera. Get in the comments. Let us know if you find the majesty of Pavarotti to be something that moves you. There's a couple great songs that work out that way. But we can do it.

Like, anybody can sing opera. Go ahead. What? Do it. That's not. that wasn't a good because you've nailed it before but like we said

you're on Ozempic now yeah I can't sing so you can't sing yeah a little sneefed up okay last thought on this because we've given our pots it's time to move on okay all right let's move on it's a new day

and we have a new fresh single sea rat kizzy she's on the loose I have a very difficult We have a very difficult job with Kizzy And with our jobs generally We're older

We have children I'd like to think that we're mature We have female daughters We can't talk about women In a way I don't want to attack Kizzy Or be too harsh on Kizzy Because she's a very, very young woman

With that being said, yuck Yeah, I get it Okay Is the Sea Rats wake with hangovers there's dough everywhere and it's revealed that Jizzy broke up with Tommy Boy now Jizzy feels remorse but also

not really she says that the best thing to get over the best what is it the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else Okay so she shares the news of the breakup with Kermit and then we get the cold nature

of Kizzy's ability to dump someone that she's been a long-term relationship with. Call me crazy, but I think she's one chromosome away from being a serial killer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, if a dude said this on camera, we'd say he's a horrible person. We'd say he's a disgusting pig, yeah.

As a girl, when she says it, she's a... She's a diva. No, she's a free spirit. She is a diva. So Jizzy goes up to Joe, begins to do the work, the groundwork. She's laying the grout. Like a mole. And Aisha is trying to warn the girls about Joe.

Yes. And this is why, like, as you grow up a little bit, you know, my wife and I watch Kizzy break down in tears and say, I hate boys, and you can laugh about it, right? But when you're that age, your guard is not high enough. The Mongols can get over the wall very easily. Yes. And Joe is a mongle.

So Joe is in the back of a van speaking Spanish to a Cuban woman about how he can see her soul. You don't know this guy. If you see Caterpillar eyebrows speaking Spanish to you about your soul, run for the hills. The wall's not high enough. Dill, boy, how am I going to beat this? Let me just hit it with a bunch of meanwhile. Yeah. Kizzy feels out where.

I'm sorry. Kermit feels... Yeah. It's the O-Zempic. Kermit warns show. It's the Ozempic. I'm losing it right now. No, it's tough.

You know, some people in the comments are going to go, I think it's the buzz balls. It's not. It's not. It's not. That's a stupid thing to think. And I'm not even fucking. kidding about that you know the big ones the big giant buzzballs the ones that look like

kool-aid breaking through a wall he could take down four of those and not mess up like this okay this is the ozempic which he acquired by saying he was 275 pounds on an online application go to hers dot com at her promo code bat tv the new stew arrives her her name is kathy no by the way you would have thought she had a she was holding a sign that said free blow jobs what well because joe and max run out there oh you know yeah and if you do ever see that sign while it may be enticing i don't know it's a little bit like um so you'll buy two tacos for 99 cents but you do have to think about what's in them plankton

so jizzy hopes that kathy is a lessee um this is perfect kathy is bossy she's experienced she's a chief stew on another boat so she's going to go for jizzy straight out of the gate but maybe even asia i don't i don't know if it's going to come to that and I don't want that for Asia. That's annoying. And I don't want Asia to have to be too confrontational. But it would be good TV. Now, did she say that?

Yeah. Oh, she did. She's the Chiefs, too. I only, well, I know she's as Chiefs, too, but I think she just basically said she's organized and a hard worker. I'm not saying that she expressed animosity towards Asia or is gunning for her, but I can see a future wherein that might be a little bit of a wrinkle in the show. Now, Josh is really, who is Josh?

the cook oh the cook sorry clown boy uh is really white nighting for the kismister okay he goes hey if she doesn't want to do laundry she can get the fuck out of here okay hey josh she is not going to fuck you ever ever even later in the episode when uh i think kermit asked her it's like who do you want on this boat and she says everyone in her mind she was saying, Eh, not that guy. Josh.

Like we spoke about last week, and you were very rude about Josh last week. Okay. Josh is not a sea rat type. Right. Usually, you know,

the sea rats that man this vessel, they go after the Nathan's and the Joe's, right? Josh is an acquired taste. He is an artist. He's killed people in the past. And he loves clowns. Now, it's going to take a special woman. You know what I think would be perfect for Josh. Anna. I think Anna and Josh would be perfect. But let's get to the preference sheet meeting. The preference shit meeting. It's a single event for six birds.

Night two, all of the women Six birds Six birds Why do you call them birds Because the Brits do Joe does You know I can't believe I got six bits

Coming on these bite All six beds What am I got to do Do you know what the origin Of the birds is? What? I call women birds Yeah

No So I know that Yeah I do Kaelin I'm going to need you to fact check Immediately So birds are like very mean and they'll attack you no serious and and you got to watch out for them and you got

to feed them uh-huh yeah jonesy on jonesy's jukebox which was a great uh radio show he always called them birds and uh that's how he'd uh describe him jones's jukebox the birds Okay. So I relieve you of your duties because there's simply no way that that is the etymology of birds. English people call women birds because they're a pain in the ass and they attack you. Okay. So AI says the use of bird to refer to women in slang originated in the UK, likely stemming from the middle English word bird, B-U-R-D-E, meaning noble. woman, which later evolved and was often confused with the word bird.

AI is a mess. AI is a mess. I got to say. So the guests arrive. Joe and Amy arrive first. I don't like Amy. No. No.

And I want us to talk really quickly. Can we talk about matchmakers for a second? To put yourself in a position and in a profession where you have to interface with these kinds of men all. that, like, it's just a really bizarre thing to me. I'm going to sound like a jerk, but also women thinking they're going to match up with wealthy people. Uh-huh. Right? It's a cesspool of characters that I find it odd to insert yourself into that world.

Yes. I don't know what the... Amy was an epic fail. Do you see her spill that drink on the stairs and said, Kermit? Well, she... Yeah. Asia, right. Now, you can ask for a paper towel and clean that up yourself.

Sham well. Yeah. So Amy's fine with dinner on the sundaeck. Thank you. That's great. Kizzy and Kathy talk about Sandy's towel. Don't show that. Don't put that conversation on air.

And Joe and V played soccer. They both played soccer. Now, Pat, in terms of C-Rat history, how do we feel about this? does it land on the sea rat sad scale uh soccer soccer they just played it we cut to pictures of them in their uniforms as children where does that rank on sad rat sea scale uh zero zero okay so jo's um had horrible luck in the past with women and asia has had it with the opposite sex that she's attracted to. Okay.

I'm glad we got there. Okay. So Asia gets to, I'm going to call because there's two Joes on this boat, so I have to differentiate, only because Joe, who's 47, looks way old than that. He's balding. His hair is flaring up. His skin looks bad. He's old Joe.

Okay. Old Joe. Yeah. Kermit's asking him questions. Look, here's the deal. he's two set in his ways and that's the problem that happens with dudes they never settle down and then they're 47 and then they're like like dating a girl and she's like oh i like uh selina gomez and dude's like i'm out you know so anyway kermit tells a story on her about her war state and uh a guy uh poured a bath a bath for her and put dish soap in it and then her coochie Can you shut the fuck up?

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LUMMYGummies.com, code bad TV. All right, personal story. Yeah. With Kermit, I guess her koochie hurt because she told the story. She was submerged in dish, dish, dish, uh, all right. So I'm 14. I get home. I'm depressed.

Young age. Can I really quickly ask you something. Does this personal story have to do with your little penis? My young way. Okay. I don't even need to do this, but just in case. people haven't seen the episode. Aisha did not mention her coochie.

She had a rash on her body because of the dish soap. So now you can talk about your little penis. All right. Fast forward 30 seconds. I'll keep it brief. I get home. I'm really upset with my life. I'm miserable.

Yeah. I'm new to masturbating. There's nothing around. No lube. I grab dish soap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I masturbate with it. I, uh,

and then I fall asleep. I wake up the next morning with a burning sentence. I pull down my pants. My penis looks like Freddie Kruger's face. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Your penis looks like it can attack people while they're sleeping.

You've got to be careful out there. No, and I mean, lots of, you know, I don't know if this happens as commonly with women. Women are less monkey-like with their self-pleasure. But, I mean, I think most men have experienced some kind of wrong lipid used to lubricate their little monkey penises. I mean, you've used a mint lotion, a eucalyptus lotion, right? No, I don't masturbate.

No. All right, moving on. So V is flirting a bit with Joe on the job. Whoa, V, V. Don't get dignitized, okay? You're a young pro. Been great on the deck. Don't fall for caterpillars.

Let's sit down with Amy and Joe. though, Joe likes confidence. He doesn't want any stray cats, which begs the question, what would you call a casting call to come on a yacht to possibly get hitched with somebody you do not know?

Well, I'd call it a fucking stray cat. Yeah, I love, because these girls that old Joe's about to meet, they have substantial resumes. One of them does make, for red carpets and another one ran over to a plate of caviar to take a photo of it. Okay, well, that wasn't on their CV and doing makeup for red carpets is actually a pretty big deal. So, God.

We're just going to have to deal with the symptoms that arrive on a weekly basis with this stuff. Kizzy knows V will be upset if she gets with Joe. So you know that now, Kizzy. And you've said, I know it to be true. So we'll see what happens moving forward. We've got Anna, Ashley, Leah, Alicia, Brooke, and Marilee. Whoa, you wrote down all the names. There are six.

And you should be shocked because my notes have been pretty good. No, not good. So it's kind of amazing that I wrote those down. We've got one-on-ones, Ashley and Joe, nothing too eventful. Leah sits down with Joe, says she's an opera singer, and she performed for Trump. I love him. I just love him.

I would like to see Leah performing opera for Donald Trump. Because after... Not hot! I thought you did fantastic. It was great. What are you doing later? So there's another lady who wants to sail. there's a Brazilian Mariela, and Anna sits down to really put the cherry on top of this shit Sunday.

She says, he goes, have you been to Barcelona before? She goes, no, sadly not, but it's not Centropay. What are you in a fucking Hitchcock movie? What are you, 21 years old? Jesus. All right, a couple of nice ladies, couple of vomit-inducing ones. Sea rat history with Max. Ah, I love this.

He does not speak to his parents. He has a bad relationship with them. So he gets love from friendship. Now, I understand this. I can relate to this. But with Max, I completely sighed with his parents. You suck. Max, have you met yourself zero points?

I love Max. He's crazy. But I love him. So, meanwhile, Gizzy flirts with Joe. She smiles. Oh, she smells like sweat. And he likes that. Mm-hmm.

I've never got that. Sweat? People being. Oh, are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I love it. Yeah. You know, I watched this movie called Queer recently.

It was Daniel Craig. He's in Mexico City in the 60s or 70s. There was an exodus of gay men in that city at the time, I guess. He's just going around sweating and sucking cock for like the entire thing. That's the whole movie. I mean, I turned it off after about an hour. I was like, what's happening here? He's just losing his mind sucking cock.

Anyways, let's get back to the show. The women have dietary restrictions. And Max is speaking French about stuff. Sandy has Leah and, or what's her wife's name? Sandy. Yeah, what's Sandy's wife's name? Leah. Leah.

So she doesn't need to play the field. Now, we get to a little C-Rat history with Kathy. She was a dentist? I think a hygentist. all right well she was working with teeth and then also she uh stepped onto a soccer field one time broke her back all yeah who gives this shit now she cleans toilets for assholes like amy who gives a shit zero points no no no no no that's not zero she was told that she might not walk ever again zero points you're walking zero points now dylan you skipped over amy spilling that

drink on the stairs it was carpeted um i don't like that that's wrong you you spill a drink and go uh kermit that's rude rude rude rude rude all right so um we get to anna who says that she's not here for the guy she's here for the yacht she's going to to be unhappy forever. And we get to a C-Rat history with Kizzy. Valerina Strikes, she's uber competitive. And when she sees somebody like Kathy, even though she is much more competent

and much more skillful at her position, there is something deep, dark, and spawn-like inside of her heart that makes her want to take her down. Case and point. You have a rip in your ass? I'm not going to say anything. Wow.

brutal evil little kizzy now um it was dark i don't think a lot of people would notice that kissy did fair enough kisie saw that kathy had ripped her pants and said absolutely nothing to cause her future embarrassment let's get to dinner did you catch any of the food yep you did yeah you did yeah It was a summer vegetable risotto with chicken on top of it. Also known as Donovan McNabb, a Campbell's chunky soup poured into a fucking bowl with chicken breast on top. It was disgusting. Zero pots.

Did I catch it? Kathy. Figures there might be something sus with Kizzy because everyone else saw her ass. She ripped. the bats So Kathy's on You know She understands

She's on watch Yeah Now I love Aisha She says Anna might be the antichrist And she belongs with no one Except for Vladimir Putin This is such

When when people Can suss out ickiness in other people And crystallize it You know that they're on the right path Right Anna is a perfect vessel for Vladimir Putin. Have you meant these people?

I have. What? I've met icky people where they're like so shallow. But not like, I haven't met like the, the fucking Balkan, like. Oh, you haven't? No. No, I've never encountered that. I don't think.

That's a, that's a weird. 22 years ago, I was on a movie shoot. Keanu Reeves was there and this girl because I can say Constantine no it was like an independent film I was with a bunch of rich people that that were financing again you're literally bleeding right now I am I am anyway um this blonde hot girl take Kalin's rag please and wipe the blood off where I'm fine I bleed let me tell this great story so this girl walks up to me And she's like, can we hang out later? And I'm like, of course.

And I'm like, we exchange numbers. And then she finds out like, I think an hour later that I am not a billionaire or millionaire. And she doesn't not call me an hour later. I was a hangar with the people that had. So let me tell you really quickly about GLP ones and taking them when you literally do not have enough body fat to. to take them. Now, this is anecdotal, but from my vantage, it looks like it starts feasting on your flesh and your bones

and blood starts to pour out of. I mean, he, I think, is being mummified from the inside right now. So go to hers.com, use promo code bad TV. My God. Leah sings opera. Once again, this is, it's not quite as bad as somebody pulling out an acoustic guitar, but I'm still uncomfortable.

I'm still uncomfortable, and I hope it doesn't last longer than 30 seconds. See, I just did it. Kalan, was that good? Very good. Now, I kind of agreed with Anna. Like, look at your phone. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just go, I've got an email. I've got a Groupon. A Group on. Living spaces. Yeah. Living social. Oh, wow.

A deal here. All right. So Anna takes a few photos with Max. She says he's not even hot. I don't know what I'm doing here. And two people are going to be leaving tomorrow. Now you would think it would be Anna. No, it is not Anna.

Kizzy begins to speak to Joe, but it's edited in a way that the sound and the proclamations kind of boomerang through the crew mess. mainly hitting the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, fucking, fucking pigs on this boat. Max, Joe, Josh, uh, all perk up when Kizzy says that she is single and she wants to get drunk because she is single. I think she implies that fucking is her favorite pastime. And, yeah, I'll just let you take this.

All right. Next morning, docking. Amy and Joe Chat. He picks like a true idiot. I'm sorry, old Joe. Ditch to the old bitches. Who's staying? Alicia and Marlea.

Uh-huh. Those girls are hot. He dumps Leah and Brooke. And then I think Joe's heartbreak. shaking ways or whispered apart the boat? I'm on, I'm, I'm not even, it's not even, Caitlin's laughing. This is, there's blood coming from your arm right now.

This is not funny. It's the video can see it. This is, this is, no moves to clean up. This is really, really not good. All right. I need you to get it together. All right. Okay.

You're bleeding. And you're saying, this is, this has been. your commentary on the episode recently. He keeps Alicia and Marlea. They're hot. He gets rid of the old bitches. And you're bleeding. Not to say, I've had bad notes before, too.

Fine. Anyways. All right. So, um, we rise for the next day. We get a perfect docking. And then we drop the guillotine. So Brooke and Leah have been, uh, have been let go. And Aisha is confused as hell because she hates Anna. And I'm wondering if the sea rats are going to get involved here. I'm wondering if Asia's going to go up to Old Joe and go,

why is your skin so flaky? And also I have to tell you something. Anna is not here for you. Okay? She is not here for you. Now, Anna went to Cannes with someone that she did not know. And her tits were out on the red carpet. Thank you for that story.

That's great. So we go on an activity with Kizzy and Joe. We do mosaic artwork, which I thought was really cute. I would love to do that. Yeah. It's a lovely little time. And I got to say Joe's boat is actually pretty good. And when we take our van ride back,

that is when Kizzy says, Dick is my favorite pastime. Now, we'll wrap the episode with Aisha telling Joe that, you cannot do this okay if you want to shag everybody she said shag black and blue which is like jesus christ i mean what kind of ferocious lovemaking is that but if you want to do that that's fine just do not fuck with the dynamics of the boat and fair enough if i was a betting man i would say there is almost zero percent chance that joe is not going to do that but we'll see next week looks like a bit of a banger kizzy's going to be making out with

maximilian and kathy's going to be pissed off about it looks like we're finally going to get a gestating ball of snakes and are you going to still be on ozimic next week yeah okay you have anything that you want to and the audience and the episode with uh putting me on the spot here i uh do you have a fun weekend going planned oh i had a great time in a great episode no but this weekend are you doing anything fun disneyland oh he's going to test pat at disneyland on ozempic should be a really fun thing to witness i hope that you vlog it i really do uh get in the comments let us know you thought about the episode go to patreon dot com slash another podcast network for real housewives of salt lake traders

p msie ap s and just just a more interesting intimate relationship with us. You know, we always say that we love our fans and we love the ones that pay even more. Follow Kalyn. At, what was it, Santa Monica Eats or something? And leave us five stars. Have the best.

I'm Dylan. Say goodbye. Pat, say goodbye. Later, dudes. Kalyn. No. No. Thank you.