Another Below Deck Podcast - Jason is Badass | The Valley S2 Reunion Pt. 2

Episode Date: August 10, 2025

Dylan, Patty and Ruby are back to break down how no one is looking at Zach, Jax's name being Jax with an x, the movie Anaconda with Jennifer Lopez and John Voight and more from Bravo's The Valley.Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkhttps://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod

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Anyway. All right. Let me cook here. Okay. So he's been sending, or the girls that he's banging have been sending DMs back to Brittany. And you know, Patrick? This is why you can't trust women. They'll always clob on together.

They want you to everybody all those dumb bitches. Jason. Jason comes off the top rope with a kind of insane defense. Like, you know, guys, he's been, I guess it's pragmatic also. so, but, like, he's been addicted to coke for a while. We think he's just going to get better. Hi, hello. I was going to say a genuine question.

Do you think that I need to change my sweatshirt because people will think that this is, like, sarcastic? Hi, hello, and welcome to another. brand spank a new episode of bad TV. My name is Dylan, and that is Pat. Great to be here. Sober Girl is over there in New York City, New York City. You could get a dollar slice there.

You could get a $65 pizza there. You know, it's a, it's a city of, of low floors and high floors. You know what I'm talking about? Anything can happen there. And if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. You could make it anywhere. I would say that making it in Afghanistan is a little bit more challenging than Manhattan. 100%. Your network is very limited. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, Ruby.

Hello, you two. How are you? Oh, so good. I'm good. I'm starting to feel good. Starting to. That's great, Pat. Well, I try taking a nap and anyway. Yeah, that's not going to work. Are you a napper by trade? No, I want to start getting back into it now that the kids are of a certain age, because when you have kids, I didn't realize you don't get to take naps anymore. Were you always a napper? I loved a nap. I'd get home from work and I'd take a nap. Really?

Yeah, I'd shower and then I'd crawl in bed and then I'd wake up and start watching entertainment tonight. And my night would start. Yeah. And what time would you go to bed? Two in the morning. Oh, my God. Oh, God, I miss not having kids. That is too late.

What time would you get up? Nine. Oh, my God. That's so late. And the thing is, it's a chunk of seven hours, which isn't not a, like, that's, that's more than enough time. Yeah. But it's too, it's too late, Pat. It's not. Ruby, I've always felt like I came alive at night. Like, that's when I really enjoyed life, you know, almost like a vampire. Oh, yeah, yeah, totally. Listen, we got a couple of vampires on this day as we're here to talk about the second

part of the Valley reunion. Um, it was a tough watch for me. But I'll tell you exactly. why the peanut gallery ah jason boy he he's a he's a very annoying person jason well it wasn't just jason it was it was the offhanded comments the in-between subtitled say like you're referring to zach he had a lot to say i hate you jasmine had a lot to say janet had a lot to say janet had a lot to say it was just it was wall to wall of sorry what the fuck just so many of those also I cannot tell you

I think I'd rather have Shane a Shea than Zach whoa yeah well careful I'm so I'm so over it I mean the fact that he he turned into a mute for a moment

to prevent himself from crying because Brittany said I might not ever talk to him again. And he'd never heard that before. No, no. Two pots. Two pots. Two rotten hails.

Two rotten hails. Ruby, why don't you go next? All right. Here's what I have to say. I thought that way too much side commentary from the peanuts. Also. Way too much. Way too much throwing to the peanuts.

Why was Andy like a lot asking? peanuts what they thought nobody cares with the peanuts think leave them alone uh that was annoying uh i really didn't like michelle at all this time um everything was terrible and that was i hadn't felt that before i actually found myself i'm which careful careful me to me liking jesse a bit and um everything else was really dark and 21 rotten hells i spoke on here yeah thank you um okay um as i said Jason was very the kids they say that you're extra that's a bad thing right yeah yeah he was very extra tonight you talk about her again I've you better what are you going to do what are you going to do uh jacks was pretty manic I uh I don't want to say he was on Coke

Jackson is right jacks is in lifted tennis shoes on a seated reunion where blitzed out of We're going to get to those. I had no idea he was 5'10. He projects way more taller than that. He doesn't, Pat. He really does not. But what I, I'm sorry, there was too much crime coming to me. So I hurried up my, my rotten hells.

I need to say, my question for the two of you, top of this is, like, we start off with, he's the most manic coked out he's ever been. Is he doing it? I don't know how he's passing. First off, I don't believe Brittany that she's been drug testing him. I'm sorry. I don't. they didn't even have their story straight.

He's a compulsive liar and she tries to hide things because they have that kid. Yeah. The fact that Andy was shocked at the revelation that Jacks was in fact on cocaine almost the entire duration of his stint on this reality show

was absolutely ridiculous and absurd on its face. And duration is also something that we could use for Doreth's time on Real House Fides of Beverly Hills. She had a duration on the show. Did you see the clips of that very unsettling woman talking to Teddy Mellon camp this week? You know that woman that has all of the people on her podcast and she doesn't ask them questions? She just kind of lifts her face in a really unsettling way. You know what I'm talking about?

Is this the I've had a podcast? I don't know if it's the I've been. They're pretty annoying. No, no, no. Those two. Oh, no. I love them. No, this is a, get in the comments and let us know if you know what I'm talking about.

It's the woman that interviewed Megan Markle and she goes like this, oh, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I think I do. She just lets, let's silence his hang for a long time. Oh, that's, you know, that's a powerful thing when you were able to do that. Oh, yeah. Jamie Lima? Jamie Lima, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that it?

And do you love him more than ever? sorry i'm so sorry i really didn't expect i don't know if you guys can hear that but that was uh teddy sorry it's okay all right all right all right so rough start i'm sorry no no my bad all right i want to talk about michelle and jesse jesse for the most part has been considered the villain aside from jacks uh and just an absolute horrible doucheback this is what i'm going to say about Michelle. Michelle is not worse than Jesse. I'm not going to say that, but I understand how they found each other. Do you know what I made? Yeah. She made three allegations during this that I can think of. Did you see that? What was it? What was it? The lights went. Oh my God. Is it an earthquake? Oh, no.

No. No. Okay. Wow. You saw that coming before it came. What powers do you have? No, I didn't see it. Yes, you did. No, I didn't. I'm just worried about it. The lights went out in the studio, then they came back on. So it's almost like we lost power for a second. Dylan, I'm going to watch back the tape. You may be a demon. Dylan said, did you see that? I was like, no. And then a second later. I think he's ahead of us in time by four seconds. No, he's a demon of four seconds. And you grew up with him. You'd know. This is the first time he's ever unfortunately shown it. I think this was a mistake. And that's why he's mannically running around the room right now. Yeah, he's deleting footage. Yeah, exactly, exactly. This won't record. What are you doing? Calling your wife and pretending that this is not about your demon tendencies.

Yeah, he turned off the cameras. What happened? What are you guys talking about? Oh, nothing. So anyway, Michelle said Jesse suck dick for rent money. Right? I mean, he is broke. Fine.

Then she said he offered to eat pussy to close a deal. He is broke. True. and then she said he had sex with a married woman. All three of those things went nowhere. Right, right, right. And it sounded very similar, not as bad, as him saying that she was a reasonably priced prostitute.

No, I don't agree with that. But he is, he is a little, she's, she's saying he's essentially like a, like a douchebag midnight cowboy. He's like a midnight douchebag, you know, in those pants and whatnot. But, well, they're very expensive. We'll get into all of it. What is a Midnight Cowboy? A whore.

Oh. A horror. A male whore with big dreams, usually played by John Voight, who is also in Anaconda as a man. He should have won an Academy Award for that. Several different accents in that movie. Unbelievable film.

Unbelievable film. Could be dangerous. Jennifer Lopez comes up to a. it tries to hit on him because they're going to trap him. I've been when the woman could be dangerous. I like when

the anaconda splits him out. And he winks. He winks. Yeah. I love when Owen Wilson sides with him above the rest of the crew. He's like,

come on, guys. Let's freaking make this. Let's follow him down river and film him catching one of these. Idiot. What an idiot you are, Owen.

Yeah. My dog. I got to rewind. Oh, it's horrible. The deaths are wild. The bite and spiral. Everyone does the same thing. It's like they had one program for that.

They just put everyone in the same thing. Okay, anyways. Oh, 14, uh, Rye Hills. Yeah. He sounded like John Boyt. Could be dangerous. The of Ice Cube. Fucking British act.

Turn that racket off. He's listening to hip hop. There was someone else on that boat. Yeah. Who was it? There were lots of other people in the boat. Who was the guy that hated Trump and now he likes him? He's an obnoxious New Yorker.

Michael Rappaport? Yeah. No, no, no. He wasn't in that. It wasn't Michael Rappaport. It was a different redhead who was like a handsome version of Michael Rappaport. Anyways, let's get into the Valley. That's what everybody came here to listen to.

Although I could talk about anaconda for a long time. we can bring back the movie cast but I need to be paid that has to be a hundred dollars a month subscription okay because it's a lot of work okay so we'll just do it for gray hey gray will you front this no he's already fronting it he's he's a technocrat he has all the money in the world kidding jacks has a life coach hold on he's doing better now yeah okay he has a life he has a sobriety coach and a life coach way to go scott um we begin with jacks actually announcing that he wants to be drug tested constantly. Yeah.

Just preferably, not on Mondays because, you know, that's coming off the weekend. And he also mentioned not federal holidays. And then he added any days it ended, why, because he may test positive for drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thursday, it'd probably be the best day, but still, not going to work. Jacks has all of these isms that are very, like, addict-e and uncanny. like my son is my medicine and I want Brittany to hold me accountable like all these like stingy kind of addict things can I bring Ruby what would you like to add I'm sorry I just found

that it was incredibly ironic that he was I'm not kidding I think this is arguably like the most manic we've seen him in a while screaming about how he wants to be drug tested every day I just like that wasn't lost on me and I thought it was a good way to open the episode I agree. And also, watch this back if you can stomach it. Stomach it. This is clearly a play for producers saying, look, I'll do anything to stay on this show. That's how I read it. He said that he announced that. You know, you can't blame people for reading it like that when it comes to Jacks Taylor. No. Because that is his nucleus. But he's, he's like a lizard trying to, be a human being and he's really bad at it he's not a human he says uh he announces that he'll

always be there for brittany for the rest of her life and what he didn't say was because he wants to pick up an alimony check yeah yeah yeah because let's face it this loser is toast he's not gonna make anybody no he's toast pat that actually is so what so what i'm picturing right now is like a mini like a six foot tall godzilla and he's where he's where like a Jack's hat from the bar and a sweatshirt and everyone's like you didn't finish getting ready this morning we can see that you're lizarding

again you know and he's like God fucking and then his scales start to sweat me but also like let's not put smirch Godzilla because Godzilla's actually fucking amazing and Godzilla is the man Jacks is also very short he wears elevator shoes I've learned Godzilla's very tall no no no

Ruby did you ever watch V it's a series from the 80s and then they did a remake of it with that guy from Party of Five and the two... I think I know Wait, did you say it was from the 80s? Well, originally was from the 80s. They did a mini-series.

They used to have these things called mini-series. And it was about these aliens that came to Earth and they wanted to help us. They looked just like us. And then come to find out they're fucking lizards from another planet. And we were their food source. And let's go to Ruby.

Ruby, did you see V? No. Okay. That's why that's what the reason why you could have is because Scott from Party of Five helmed the remake, reboot of it in the 2000s. Ruby, Party of Five. Ever heard of it?

Heard of, not seen. You did hear of it because this is the guy who's been married to his wife for 21 years and he had to put her in an institution because she was trying to assault him. That was like on TMC. Ruby follows all these things. She knows everything. Okay.

Anyway. All right. Let me. cook here, okay? So he's been sending or the girls that he's banging have been sending DMs back to Brittany. And you know, Patrick? This is why you can't trust with it.

They'll always clob on together. Can't do it. They want your buddy. All those dumb bitches. Jason. Jason comes off the top rope with a kind of insane defense. Like, you know, guys, he's been I guess it's pragmatic also, but like, he's been addicted to coke

for a while. We think he's just going to get better. So we talk about who Brittany would be with if she was still in Kentucky. Well, actually, where this came from is Jacks accuses her of actually never being into him, which is that's a pretty long, long game. And the accusation stem from DMs that he got from people back from the homestead. Yes. And he's a little bit like a conspiracy theorist, but like a bitchy, dramatic one.

so he'll just throw something out. Oh, yeah. See if you bite. And go, I'm not, I'm not saying that, you know what, I'm crazy. I'm so emotional right now. Right now. Like it's, it's such a tactic. And he's so gross.

He is gross. So, but sorry, I'm just going to point this out. Very nuclear personalities that are just, Jacks is one, Michelle is one, Jesse is one. They'll say something to bait you and to react. just to start a fight. Yeah. It's disgusting.

It's the scorpion attack. It's get over here. That's what it is. Robs, go ahead. Yeah, although Jacks isn't that smart, but he, the amount of times tonight that he just, and Janet, like everybody does it, but Jacks is the biggest defender, he'll say something like that and be like, I, I, the things I was reading are, it was disgusting. I mean, it was really hard.

And people are like, Jacks, we literally talked about this three months ago and we proved that none of that was true. I was like, you're right. You're right. There I go again. What? There I go again. These are these.

I need help. These patterns. And I want to be better. Right. And that's why I want to be drug tested. God, so it's worth mentioning probably before we move off this. Well,

we got to go through the timeline of his coke addiction. Now, we will. But I want to agree with the dais that it is, in fact, a big loss to lose Hooters. Yeah. I feel like we were just turning the corner back to a

culture where we were accepting of a place like this, a venue where drunk, disgusting men could hit on very young, attractive women that they have no shot in hell of hooking. Yeah, I know. I mean, though I have to say in an era of Sidney-Eugenics, uh, gene ads, I think we can bring back hooters, right? I think so. Come on. Come on.

Uh, all right. So Jesse was with Zach. What's his name? Jacks. Hmm. Is Jacks a name? No. Categorically no, though, right?

No. No, it's not a name. It's a sound. Okay, so Jazzy was doing a Coke with Jacks. I mean, of course they were. It's just kind of dawning on me. The pot's fairly strong. But we've just paid calling this guy.

Jacks with an X? Yeah. For this long? What's this real name, Ruby? It's like, oh, Jason. Yeah, that's right. She was like Edward or something. Now they discuss Jack's use of Coke during filming.

And then we get that timeline, whatever. Yeah. And he claims he regrets it. And then Britt jumps in to say that they'd be at dinner. And then he'd get up from the dinner table every 10 minutes. That's what I call a yellow flag there. and I know read one, how could it not be? He's violently addicted to cocaine, getting up from dinners multiple times.

By the way, I must say clearly bad cocaine because should be, could cocaine last like an hour after one bump or something? Ruby probably doesn't know. I truly, I really, I don't know, unfortunately. Okay. Well, good cocaine will, will, the beginning schneefs will have. some kind of pregnant paws in between them. But once you start chasing the dragon and you've hit, you know. It's like booze.

It's like booze. You just start doing more and more. It becomes a habitual kind of mania. Oh, wow. Yeah, I miss cocaine. I bet. You know, we had a party here with kids in parents. They were probably like three couples and one idiot.

They were doing bumps? One guy was. Oh, wow. My wife's like, did you notice someone? when so would go to the bathroom, like every 10 minutes, I was like, yeah, actually, I do. Coke with kids is pretty wild. Yeah. Coke with kids is, is a move.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's, it's not a move. There are many words for it. I don't know that I'd go with move, though, no, right? You know what? Thank you so much because I was like, I said it, right? And then I was like, hopefully it's just interpreted in like a broad way, meaning like something

that you could do. but a move means something, something good, something thrifty, something, uh, you know, cool or something like that. So it was important to call that out as the wrong word for that. Real quick. First time I ever, I've only done cocaine eight times in my life. Actually, uh, during one night, I was really bored. My wife made me turn the TV off. So I started like doing weird statistics in my head. How many times have I done coke and I went through every memory eight times my entire life. Get this. First time was at a club called the 40 Deuce where they first started doing that burlese bullshit in Hollywood where you'd show up at like

a secret, you know, and the girls, they got the tops off, whatever. I'm in the bathroom. I go, what are you doing? Right on the urinal. He lays out a line. He goes, it's good stuff. Try it. I was like, eh. You know, I want to be a pussy. I did it. Best high in my fucking life. I felt on top of the world for like two hours. We hit another bar. Yeah, that's pissed. And I'm like, whoa, where's this been all my life? Yeah. Next time I try it, Vegas, a year and a half later, it's fucking crystal meth. I'm up for two days and I'm having suicidal thoughts. Right. Right. Anyway. There's a, there's a spectrum. There's a spectrum. Yeah. Definitely. So anyways, we talk about Jacks doing Coke in 2001 and I know that we need to move on from this,

but this is one of the first underhanded, um, or like kind of to the shoulder comments from the peanut gallery. Um, they speak of 2001, the year where we lost, um, oh, wow, many people. Many people. I think three thousand. Yes. But Zach was 14. I was 14. Okay, Zach. Hey, guess what? Guess what? I was freaking 11 or 12. I was 11, okay? You old fuck? Like, what do you do? This guy is freaking just gets my goat. I think he's chomping at the bit to talk. So we talk about Jack's not taking his bipolar medication. And now that he's taking it, it's life changing, quote unquote, it's life. changing. We then get to his jigsaw killer behavior wherein he rings up a closed circuit security system so that he can spy on Brittany. The guy is just really losing his mom. Well, he's a self-sabotor, according to him. I just keep doing these things. Okay, so Jacks is sad that he's not involved with the cast. He misses that he missed that baby shower.

misses his friends and rooms what do you think jacks misses more i'm not saying that he doesn't miss his friends we're all social creatures right but what do you think he misses more his friends or that his friends are being filmed oh i paid most important you were going to say or the drugs i'm just going to say the drugs yeah but that starts with a paycheck though really yeah okay i'm going to go filming friends and then drugs yeah because in order to acquire the drugs, he has to film with the friends. That's right. So he misses that he's not with him because he loves drugs.

So it's getting a little, I'm getting a little tired of the deep dive on Jacks's psyche. Like in terms of the psyches we could really dive into, Jackson's is among the most uninteresting years. It's a bag of rocks that you shake around and those rocks want to feel good. that's it that is his personality there's nothing there there's nothing there and he's getting so fucking old i don't think there is i don't know if there's a chance you can teach this dog and old uh teacher the dude god whatever ruby go ahead i was going to say the amount of frustration that i feel as not the woman who he is divorcing um and shares a child with it's what um

it's like holly hunter in 13 when you're we just watched that movie last night universe thank you for this moment a lot of premonitioning kind of stuff going on well you're a demon you're a demon fucking demon for a second demon yet that type of like I wish what I wish I could do is strangle you and put you in a room and lock you in there until you're just like better or something right because of laws and that's sad for brittany because this person is a yo-yo of a pathetic weird broken rock man and Holly Hunter was Evan Rachel

Woods's mother who was huffing keyboard cleaner, correct? And also elastic girl and the best, one of the best parts of the Incredibles that we've ever seen. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. I couldn't believe my wife put it on and I was like what the fuck is this? Did you put it on with the kids?

No, no, no, no. Okay. I thought it was like you were doing a cautionary to all. All right. So my wife and I fight because you know, I'm so creative. Um, I'm writing, look at this. I'm writing PMZ and she goes, how much longer do you need? And I said 30 minutes. And then I see her going boopoo do, but do on the Amazon fire. And then before I know it, fucking 13 pops up on the screen.

I'm like, why the fuck is she? Although, can I tell you something? I commend her so much because she picked something and then you guys watched it. Even if it's not great. You know, it's so hard. Me and C's did it the other day with Anaconda and also with Capote, which is at just an amazing movie, an amazing movie. And 13's an amazing movie, too. We watched that, we watch that fucking thing in Virginia, like, I want to say 10 times of summer. Wow. Yeah.

It's like, back to the future for you. It's pretty much like 13 is my jaws. Yeah. What happens in the end? Do all the children, they're still alive, right? I don't remember. I really don't know. I had her turn it off because I wanted to finish hunting housewives. Oh, well, yeah. All right. So, Jacks sits in his house and is alone all the time. And Andy is seeing the kind of silver lining of all this, though. Despite him being alone and sad, he is taking more accountability than he has ever had.

Andy, stop being an enabler, you fucker. Please. Enough is enough. So we take a quick commercial break. And I don't usually watch commercials, but tonight we watch her, we watched it live. And Brittany is in a Tum's commercial, wherein she confuses heart burn with heartache. And a P.A. has to come in and tell her, no, it was the beer, cheese, and wings, you can. Yeah. It was pretty nuts. Also, there was another gas lady kind of, well, there was a gas lady commercial with Jennifer Coolidge,

where and she goes around and she's using her She's using her discover card all over the place And she's like, hey, don't you know, 99% of places take Discoverer? And it's like, no, they don't. Who takes Discover card? No, no. Who takes Discover? That's like a, that's a meme coin of a credit card.

Yeah. I want to ask you this. So a lot of people accuse Adam Sandler of just playing Adam Sandler in every movie. Jennifer Coolidge, right? Yeah, she's never done a like period piece. No. No, but what she is is she's incredible.

And I encourage everyone to go back to The Cinderella story. Like at best inch, all of the things that she did before the masses knew her from White Lotus are, I mean, she's just, she's a treasure. She's perfect in all of them. Same with that in Sandler.

She's so good in Best and Show. She's so good in Legally Blonde. She really is a Titan. Yeah. What is there to say? Okay, so, well, uh, Jacks is asked if he's still in love with Brittany. Yeah. And this is when he, uh, he asks if, if Andy doesn't mind just moving on.

Yeah. He gets emotional. Yeah. I, no, I'm sorry. This is actually like, I, I, I, we got it, Monty. Be, Medicaid. for some reason, because this is so unbelievably frustrating for me. What do you do with this?

Like, when you're Brittany, like, I would look at this person and just say, I just, I wish I could hire people to beat you legally, you know? And we can again, because of law. But like him fucking crying, like a lit, I, did you guys want to rip your TVs off the wall? He's a really bad actor. I can understand why he never made it. I've been desensitized to the crocodile tears. Can we keep the.

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works when you're having people over. Oh, that's a nice blanket. Yeah, well, we're not really doing couch stuff right now. We're doing a dinner party. But next weekend, when you, the husband or the wife and the kids are getting together, ready to watch cars. Or bring it on or bring it on. Or some other inappropriate movies that are- Anaconda. Doesn't matter what you put on. Slap that Lola blanket across your legs. You're going to be in heaven. Dylan, let me tell you something. This Lola blanket is so special. If I have guests come over and they need a blanket to sleep, you know, they're not good enough to have this put on absolutely i'm going to hide it um we got the extra large we're very lucky yeah what did you get i got the extra large what color uh a lovely kind of cream

brown that really accents the uh the the beauty and the sandal wood of the of the living room but listen don't miss the matching pillows go to lola blankets dot com and enter in promo code bad tv at check out. You'll get 30, 35% off your entire order. So I had to lowlblankets.com and use promo code bad TV. It was just so, ugh. I have the quote. Let's let's be accurate. The show is dark. Let's be accurate. Here's the transcript. Jacks says he announces and I quote, Cruz was the one right thing I ever did other than meeting my dealer. Because that was a windfall of blow. Well, okay, but but but really quickly when Jack says Cruz is the one thing I did right. What do you mean?

Coming? Is that the thing you did right? Because you didn't raise him. No. What did you do? Coming. He came. That's it.

And she is so polite not to destroy his character, but she hints at like, you weren't fucking their asshole. Yeah. And honestly, I commend Brittany for handling what she's handling. I also, like, I get the single mother thing. She is a single mother. So dealing with it alone must be very challenging. I don't know why I have to say this.

It was just kind of, I think it's that I don't like the way that she talks to Zoyla or whatever her name is. I don't. Zuli. Zuli. She has enough money to hire a nanny. There are mothers that are really fucking doing this completely by themselves. And it's just, I don't know. Brittany just aggravates the shit out of me sometimes

but we get to Kristen who stands up and says I need you guys to let me go to the bathroom what I need to go it's like Jesus Christ pressing on her placenta No problem your storyline is not You can get up if you want

Is she on this season? Okay so Jazzy and Michelle cheating Another revelation They both knew that this was a thing before the show started and then did this melodramatic quasi framing or insinuating all season and it was like what kind of soap opera are you two on like can you just fucking I think they needed the money because they're both unemployable that's why they came on here this is like this is the the wheat trap you know the the CIA plant Yuval Harari talks about when you're

cultivating wheat you have to just put all your eggs in that basket when you go on reality TV, what are you going to do after that? I mean, look at what Jacks is doing. You know, you become just unquenchable for it. There's still time for Michelle and Jesse to get out, but they won't. Really? I mean, would you ever buy a fucking house from Jesse? No, I wouldn't. But I don't think he sold the house in a while. Ruby, think about your first impression of Jesse and Michelle on season one. I got the impression they were both successful. I got the impression they own that house up on the hill above the

Marit. Don La Grasamos. What is it called? The Chateau Monmouth. So I'm thinking, these people are worth like 10 million bucks. Why are they doing this show? Yeah. Then come to find out.

No, they're not. They're not. Yeah. So now they're renting that home. Okay. So Kristen gets back from a Pee and they ask about the dude that Michelle was dating last year. And Michelle admits it was somebody who finally gave her the attention.

Some attention. Guys, beware. You don't pay attention to your lady. She'll get it somewhere else. Jesus. You know what I mean? By the way, she admits to kissing a dude that gave her attention. By the fact that she's saying he gave her attention, it was more than a kiss.

I got my spidey sense is tingling. Well, there's a lot of bullshit going on. I think Michelle's lying about, like, we get to, we get to Honeybee. right and blankie we get we get to air in okay well you should be here be here uh-huh ruby nothing no you two go okay so they're talking about they're scary scary yeah okay so they're talking about their emotional cheating and whether or not it was emotional cheating and michelle goes we talked about all of the girls that he was banging and how I couldn't bang him because I was technically still married, but we also talked about how I got, like you guys, this is the priming. You guys

were absolutely emotionally cheating. Yes, the judge and jury is here. It's called old Patty. Think of any, your spouse doing this. Yeah. While you're, now, this is like, definitely. No, no. It's emotional cheating. I saw, I agree. I saw together with Allison Bree and Little Frank. Oh, how was that? Was it gross?

I honestly, it was a little bit gross, but it was way better than I thought it was going to be. I was pretty blind. It's supposed to be really good. I thought it was great. That being said, there are multiple situations in this film where you think to yourself and they're just together, they're not married. if you watched your partner act this way with their co-workers or toward other people I would I would Jennifer Connolly their things in a nice pile before they came home

yeah yeah it's just inappropriate to talk weekly by weekly going hikes with people put on makeup to go see them talk about the girls that they're dating with your kid and then yeah so but but she levies that he is appalled by cheating but also a homewrecker. And you say that she just threw this out there and it went nowhere. I don't think that it went nowhere. I just think that he did it.

And he, like, you can clearly see he, he's been doing this throughout the two parts. Excuse me, where he'll be accused of something, red-handed, been to a wall. And he'll just go, oh, okay. He said, my ex-girlfriend, hold on. He said my ex-girlfriend that was married. or that hasn't been married for 25 years and then Michelle goes she's currently married and then

he goes oh okay look I don't know where the truth lies and the accusations are probably lies with Michelle so we get to Janet being evil and being a sleuth and knowing all of these things and kind of vacuuming up information and also Jason being a fucking cock I did appreciate how Jesse's like look I like Janet but she has a tendency to recycle the same fucking hit job over and over again. It was so crazy. She does have a little Tamara judge where she's such a little researcher, you know? At the end of this episode when she goes,

and Danny had done this as recently as the Super Bowl. Okay. Everyone like jumps up. You're getting at all right. So, um, yeah. Was it Rod Ser. twilight zone okay so zach um we get to him literally saying that he wanted janet to miscarry now we talk about this a lot like um we talk about how there are certain things that people

demand empathy or sympathy for because they're going through something and i get that that yes We should go on a case-by-case basis for that. But there are certain things that I understand that you were experiencing some kind of hardship, but saying that you hope your friend miscarries is a bridge into a different land where we can just categorize you as a bad person. Dylan, I was going through something. Right. But decent people, and I'm not even saying good people.

Decent people who are going through something usually don't. say things like that and mean them be they drunk or sober arguably arguably i would say a lot of bad people actually wouldn't say this when they were going through through something so yeah i agree he's just such a yucky guy yeah a lot of people like him he's a fan favorite he'll be back well we get to um he said he said that threw me off Upon hearing that he said that, he said that it threw him off. Next up, we have Janet versus Zach versus Christian, Kristen Doty. And I want to remind the audience, they're all like aimed at each other in a circular firing squad.

And the winner take all is being Brittany's friend, which. is pretty absurd. Yeah, it's a pretty tough scene and they're all really, really vying for that. It is a little bit of a hunger game for Britney's friendship. What I win! A million bucks?

Taco Bell parties in North Hollywood. So, Brittany and Zach verse, Britney and Janet. Yeah, we discussed this, but really quickly on this Luke thing, because Luke interjects and says something about how he wished that he wouldn't have gossiped and kind of ratcheted the tension up between these people. Luke is a, he's a gossipy little weirdo, okay?

He does this stuff all the time. He did it in the first season. He does it in the second season. There's something odd to me. Like that kind of thing I get Janet doing, I get Zach doing. but when you're from Colorado and you eat with a dinner plate, like it just confuses me. I'm a former TV producer.

You know a mark when you see one. Producers see him is easy to manipulate. Chum, you speak. Chum. Hey, Luke. Go tell Brittany that, I don't know, let me see here. What's on the paper. Go tell Brittany that, go tell her that Jesse killed him.

the guy. No, no, no, they go, what does it say here? Go tell her. You know what, why don't you pick one of the five things we've got? Just pick one and go tell her. He's like, oh, okay. Is this going to be okay? Yeah, no, it would be great. So, Jesse got emotional. I don't know if I'm skipping ahead, but we're going long. It's a sloppy pot. So Jesse got emotional at the sharing circle. And Andy says, why did you get so emotional? He says that in that moment, if Michelle couldn't even tell me that I was a good father. I didn't know what she could say about me. And here's the thing.

I think that she didn't say that because she doesn't think that. Well, she doesn't. And also earlier in the day, he called her a whore. Rooms, go ahead. Yep. So I think one, don't think she thinks that. So that's probably like she couldn't say it. Two, the only thing that you skipped over that I actually do care about.

Jesse kissing Jason on that bus. Yeah. If Jason would have broken his johnson into the hospital, I don't think anybody on the bus would have been like, they would have all been like Jesse, you cannot press charges. No, no, no. I disagree if you have if,

because he said enjoy your herpes and I think he was joking, but the only time when you never know, you should really get violent if somebody's trying to give you a kiss, um, is if they're homeless and they smell bad and their skin sticky. No. And also if somebody has, has herpes because don't,

don't put that on me. That's, uh, some say it's a, gift that lasts forever. I don't know what they're thinking when they say gift. Yeah. Yeah. What is this for Zales or for herpes? Okay. Let's get to the gay guy who zeled Jesse money. Where did this go? This was murky. It didn't go anywhere. There was, oh, this is one of those examples of Michelle's stuff, not going anywhere because Michelle brought this up. It was just a friend of Jesse's who happens to be gay who zeled him for, I don't know. For his birthday, which I'd argue.

you, there's a certain age where friends don't send you money directly. They give you a bottle of wine, you know? That's a good point, actually. That's a, that's a creepy present. Yeah, I think that's a bit of a creepy present. Yeah. But Zach goes, don't look at me. We're not looking at you, buddy.

God damn it. Let's get to the, actually, yeah. No, before we do, I need to ask you, Zach, who did really quickly, Zach, everybody production, turn everyone's mics down except for Zach's. Zach, who do you think was looking at you? Can you please verify for us? Hi, Zach. All right, let's get to the Danny of it all.

Danny Darkside. Jack feels bad because Danny and Nia were so nice to him and they loved him. They really did. And it's crazy to think about truly how unwell Jason Taylor is. Couchy. To have Jason Couchy actually had people nice Wisconsinite,

I don't know where these two are from, but they really liked Jacks and they were supportive of him and they called him. And because Jacks, aka Jason Couchy, or it should be Jason Couchy, aka Jacks,

because he saw them rising in the ranks of this show, he decided to... Well, I was watching the show. And I just got pissed. I was sitting next to Britt. We were watching season one back. I'm like, well, these two fuckers are looking better than you, Ben.

Why is this? I'm going to fucking destroy them. Brittany's like, well, hang on, don't destroy that because I love you. They love you. Hey, they're real nice to you. Come on. When you pull this pants down last time, he didn't say anything. Yeah.

But I'm still going to destroy that. Like we're doing plankton at this point. I went to college. Okay. Cabinet drinking. let's talk about it. I don't blame this motherfucker for this. It's a little drunk move.

I mean, it's just a little drunk move. I love the fucking, I love that everybody's like, it's not a big problem. He walks into a cabinet and says, for I think the 70th time that day, you guys got a head start on me. I got a couch out to you.

You don't. You're drunker than every. All right. Hold on. Everyone here. I defended this when it happened. Yes, got it. Come on who fucking can't wait to get away from your fucking kids

and you love alcohol and ripping it up. Woo! You fucking rip it up and you are able to be numb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so he didn't want the cameras to see him because he was already being the storyline had already been created and he wanted to fucking pound a bottle. Listen, I'm not saying that that is some kind of spiritual malady

that is a big, big problem that has to be diagnosed and talk to. matter. But listen to the words that you're saying it would indicate, you know, but it's not a big deal, okay? He got fucking, he dumped the kids off. He had a VO gig, okay? Got off the Warner Brothers lot and fucking hit the bottle, okay? But listen, Nia is asked about if Danny is a little drunk and she's like, listen, the cover that these two run for one another. They're like the Clintons. I mean, it's bananas. You know, We check in, we check in with each other. We did a lot of therapy.

And sometimes Danny will say, you know, I'm good. And Nia goes, and I know he's not good. And the next morning we have a conversation. Yeah, that's fine. How many of those conversations have you guys had? Well, she wanted to have another fucking kid with this little drunk, Roobes. No, it truly, that was very weird and scary and cultish and her just being like,

and then we just, you know, we're always on the same page. What does it look like when you get there, though? Is it blood everywhere? How did you, do you drag him onto your page? Daniel, Daniel. There's blood everywhere again. Jesus, Daniel. I was shocked they admitted to go into therapy to discuss the fucking slap on the ass.

These two are a Thelma and Louise type. I don't understand it, but I do think that they would drive off a fucking cliff together. Robs. Okay. We will, I think we are about to get to the. right that for some fucking reason we're still talking about this slapping of the ass right yes um ruby i'm glad you brought that up i want to hear your opinion on this during the season on the hawaii trip both melissa and jasmine told janet to shut the fuck up this storyline should be dead it's not

worth discussing anymore they didn't tell her to shut the fuck up because the story was dead they told her to shut the fuck up because they saw that she was clearly weaponizing what they went through for her own onus. I'm not going to tell somebody, you know, if something happens to you, you can go through a gradient of emotions and change your mind and, you know, go through retrospection and stuff. But let's let's just call it, let's just call it how we see it. This is Jasmine's only storyline. It's her only story.

She has to talk about this again. Regardless of whether or not it's still, you know. Ruby's going to talk, but here's my take. on this. I think you nailed it though. Jasmine, you either decide you're not going to accept this person's apology and you never speak to them again or you find a way to accept the apology and then let's move the fuck on, please. Ruby. Okay. I would also like to preface everything by saying, to my knowledge, nobody slapped your ass, Jasmine. Okay. So new sentence now. You, Jasmine, I do not believe are allowed to see these people off camera five times over the course of a year,

be completely fine with them. And then at a publicly filmed event, decide that you are now taking issue with it. And you're bringing. And then when that person is like, whoa, I've seen you, you know, every month for the last year, it's kind of crazy that you're doing this right now. You take issue with that, I think is a little bit crazy. You don't have a storyline. This was fucking nuts.

Right, right, right. And I actually thought that Nia was very nice when she was like, you're allowed to experience for however long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Janet is not allowed to talk about this in the way. And it sucks that it's about sexual assault because if it was anything else, the little drunk gremlin and Phelma and Louise could be like, you are ruining our fucking reputation of the family.

You dumb bitch. You don't have a storyline. Get off the thing, though. It must be confusing because you were going to sell us that tiny little house after this. We all went to the tiny little house. Oh, I forgot about that. Well, she says she doesn't work that area. Yeah. Okay. So on the after show, Danny said, why is this getting brought up? And they clarified that it's by Janet and not by you. And that's when, that's when X-ray, X-ray read all about it. He really, he really gets quite cucked up. Okay. And he starts, honestly, like, Cambocha top busting out of his all-black attire. You're referring to Jason. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

wanting to fight little Daniel. He almost got so animated that he threatened physical harm. I'm concerned that Jason no longer works at a law firm. He's trying this hard to stay on reality TV. Or he doesn't like his job. He'd rather do this. Yeah, I mean. Well, I mean, I don't know that he's going to be able to do much after he said that the fact that he said that he was going to cry because the exchange between Jasmine and Danny was so disgusting.

Yeah. oh no he said that did i ever tell you i saw them two really hopped up on all this stuff huh he's hopped up i saw those two walk in with the newborn baby two fridays in a row at happy hour and he has his fucking head on a swivel it was the i didn't know what at the time it was the first week that the valley had like come out and he's looking around to get recognized he loves it Get in the comments. Let us know we thought about the episode. We love you guys very much.

Join us to patreon.com slash another podcast network for APSPMZ and more. Meetup coming soon. We got to figure out when we're going to do that next one. Also, should we fucking give up Miami? Can we, I'll tell you what. Oh, I, Dill, I told you I was going to do this. If we get 30 people to join Patreon this week, we'll still, we'll continue to do Miami. If we fall short of that, we're moving on to something else.

How's that something, Dill? Don't sign up. Dill hates Miami. Don't sign up. Dill hates Miami. Five stars, kind words. We love you guys very much. I'm Dillon saying goodbye.

Pat say goodbye. Later, Dan. Ruby. Bye-bye. On every beat, and the beat's alive, the beat and the beat is all right.