Another Below Deck Podcast - Kangaroos and Didgeridoos | Below Deck S2 Finale

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

Pat and Dylan are back to break down the finale of an incredible season. We talk roombas, lateral movements, kangaroos, didgeridoos, onion towers, weed heads, love, calling your mom, Cha Cha Degregorio and more from Bravo's Below Deck Down Under. Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@BadT.V.Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/

All right, so we rise from the kangaroo and we go to Gilligan's. Culver and Jamie are once again, there's this kind of... Do you remember when John and Olivia got split up on the dance floor of the Rydell High Dance Competition? Oh, of course. It's a famous scene. Yeah. That's what happened to them numerous times tonight. A 45-year-old Cuban woman named Chacha DiGiorgio that's what happened to them numerous times tonight a 45 year old

Cuban woman named Chacha DiGiorgio would come in and just kind of do this separation with us except by this scenario I guess Luca would be Chacha Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. I'm Dylan. I'm saddled up next to Juan Patrick Hickey. You've got permission to come aboard.

Granted. You're a up, man. Yeah. I just want the audience to understand, if he sounds like he got kicked in the head, it's because he got kicked in the head. Yeah, I feel like I might be a little concussed right now. You know, there's just...

There's jerks and kickboxing. See? I think I'm concussed. Yeah, I think I'm concussed yeah i think i'm concussed um so we are here to talk about the season finale of season two yeah this is my tongue is not working right now i don't think the pot helped at all but listen it is a uh somber occasion because this season has been a tremendous amount of fun i'm sad it's over i really am sad too it is a uh somber occasion because this season has been a tremendous amount of fun i'm sad it's over i really am sad too it was uh quite a ride real boring episode though it was but you know it was nice to see that there's no loyalty in uh being a sea rat god no

you turn your back for a millisecond and your girlfriend's going to the med with a sea rat even shorter than you yeah yeah yeah what a heartbreaking uh sequence of events here for old butter boy oh my god i i actually fell bad for him a little bit i did too and then he was like take this uh this starfish that i got you when we when i proposed to you and it just i was like culver's back. But I did feel really bad for him. Anyways, I'm getting ahead of myself. We have some public service announcements to take care of.

Yes, we do. Okay, people, if you liked Bachelor and then you came over here because we weren't doing The Bachelor anymore, go back over to Bad TV. By the way, we released the episodes of Below Deck on Bad TV over there anyway. It's a great home. It's a nice little nest.

I think we dropped four episodes a week in there. Maybe. Yeah, yeah. Well, anyway, for now it's going to be The Golden Bachelor. So excited. The Golden Bachelor. And we'll also give you a couple episodes of Love is Blind before we put the rest of the season behind the paywall that is patreon.com

slash another podcast network. Yeah, you're really knocking it rest of the season behind the paywall that is patreon.com slash another podcast network. Yeah, you're really knocking it out of the park here. Sure. Also, later this week, we've talked about it. Some of you have complained about it, thinking that we didn't actually pull it off. We are dropping our episode with Frazier from, what do you call it?

Below Deck OG with Captain. Oh my gosh. I had put this out of my head, but I guess... Just... Some listeners really took issue. Public service announcement to the fans. You can scream into the void all you like,

but me and Patrick are just going to do what we're going to do, okay? Obligations, what do they mean? Depends on the day. But you'll get the fucking ear food when we give it to you okay well uh you guys are gonna love the frazier uh uh interview and i'll tell you why because a lot of it is about captain sandy and uh her season's just around the corner and we'll be covering that of course yeah so i think you'll enjoy frazier's thoughts on captain sandy uh-huh at that yeah

also uh i don't know if it's a new sponsor yet but um maybe i'm gonna get myself a little heat here we might lose some listeners there's another podcast in the below deck space yeah right really a really good one and one that we're welcoming into this little community of ours with big big wide open arms uh should we just uh let the audience hear it dill yeah do you want to play it yeah let's play it let's uh throw captain lee here and the name of our podcast is salty for obvious reasons especially for those of you who do know me for For those of you who don't know me, you'll understand soon. And this is also my trusty sidekick and personal assistant, Sam.

Hey there. Who is here to keep me grounded or make a feeble attempt at such. Just when you're off the boat, what are we going to talk about? Let's have some guests. It's really boring. Well, let's see if you can pull it off, man.

I and Pat Wishley, just all the fun in the world. I don't understand why he is doing pop culture recaps. I mean, listen, I don't know why we're doing pop culture recaps, but I definitely don't understand why Lee is doing pop culture. Well, I mean, if we don't have a guest, because I don't like anybody, we'll just talk about the real housewives of Miami. It's like, what? We have to get into this show.

Talk about Luann. Oh, we got to get into old Shannon Bedore. Oh, yeah. We'll do that at PMZ. Yeah, if you're 58 and you're driving your car into someone's house and you get arrested for a DUI, I think you need to take a long look in the mirror.

I'm just saying. I hate to judge. And it'll be a painful one, but you have to stay rooted. Despite all of the darkness that comes barreling towards you, you have to stay rooted. Because what, Harvey, what's the golden retriever's name? And he was in the car. And I saw Ruby sent me the TMZ footage.

We'll get into it on PMZ. Okay. We have a job to do here. Yes, yes. We got to cover the final episode of Below Deck. No reunion. Sorry, folks. For the life of me.

I just, I don't know if it's laziness. Well, we know why. Well, the Margo, I know. I don't understand why that if you take the margo thing you can address it in a very um supportive and beneficial way don't have rat face from lapia on and don't have scumbag bucket hat uh yeah on the show and just let's have a ball doing a reunion well it would have to be addressed and i think they were being sensitive to margo to not have to put her through that discussion okay all right just throwing that out there also bravo's had a bit of an issue as of late and as we discussed

with frazier if you remember his last season they also buried a reunion too because their season was problematic these fucking producers need to understand that they're dealing with sea rats Frazier, if you remember his last season, they also buried a reunion too because their season was problematic. These fucking producers need to understand that they're dealing with sea rats on the high seas. Let's keep a better eye out, okay? Because this shit is going to ruin this show. It's maritime law, but it's being filmed. So it needs to... Listen, it's a tough job.

But I don't think they're doing a good job so far. Yeah, we would have liked the reunion, but on a certain level, I understand why you had to not do it. But we have a finale. Yes, we do. Should we get into our thoughts and odds? Yeah, you give thoughts and odds. Well, I already addressed my favorite part,

was the lesson to be learned is there's no loyalty in Sea Rattum. Also, not sure of his name but whoever melissa's husband is a blockhead looking motherfucker dana point yeah uh the lighting of the onion avocado is his favorite part the onion tower how old are you how old are you can i tell you the problem with a guy this? And I wish I knew his name because I'd like to attack him more. Your parents loved you too much, you douchebag. Okay? That's why everyone else hates you. Well, this is the issue with places.

The onion volcano is my favorite part. These places in kind of the southern curve of Southern California, Dana Point to San diego you know there's too much sun there and people are just bubbly and it's just grating an onion tower throwing shrimp at people what are we doing here in here it's hot hot shrimp i don't want it thrown at my head my favorite parts coming up dude you have pubic hair that's gray grow up all right don't i told you before we started the show to not talk about pubic hair okay how many oh uh great i'm giving the season 90 knots great job yeah great job um okay so tonight's episode the issue that i've had with the season is particularly with the

the jwoww and serena stuff there's just stuff that's clearly going on that's not going on. But maybe JWoww flipping out and blacking out and becoming an evil zombie tonight was not caused by anything we didn't see, but there's just like this messiness with all of it. Want to hear a little inside baseball? I hope I'm not talking out of turn or crossing the line of below deck. Let's...

Well, maybe we'll bleep it. Well, I'll just say uh more than one uh current cast member uh reached out to uh let me know that the joao you saw in the final episode is pretty much the joao that exists yeah he did a pretty good job and i'd say production probably did a good job editing him being a just a comeback kid yeah yeah yeah but um no he's still a douche okay yeah it's tough with him because of the the elephant bone and but all sea rats have a lot of uh tragedy in their back he takes the cake with tragedy uh he shot himself right and uh and i'm not defending his behavior i'm just i'm just saying it makes it

more difficult to feel as though he's an asshole right i still feel it of course right and we should be evaluating the show based on what bravo gave us as opposed to all the chitter chatter on on those dms uh uh uh so um 99 pot season the season was fantastic 92 pot season the season was fantastic hirings firings smut balls of snake stuff heartbreak love brotherhood sisterhood oh learning failing and. I thought it was just a fantastic episode. Captain Jason and Aisha need to keep helming new versions of this show. Well, unfortunately, I don't think I'm talking on a turn here if these people are really in the show. I think Kermit may be on another vessel as we speak, unfortunately.

Well, Hot Captain needs to be Hot Captain. He needs to be Hot Captain. He needs to be Hot Captain. He ain't going anywhere. If they don't cast him for another season of this, he'll be on, what's that one, Special Forces. He ain't going anywhere. Special Forces? What are you talking about?

It's a reality TV show on Fox where they have a bunch of- Oh, but I don't want to see Hot Captain in that capacity. You don't? I want to see him helming condemned fishing vessels and kind of getting shrimp thrown in his mouth all right so let's get into it um episode title she's just not that into you i like that what could that be in relation to uh we pick up with serena and jason having a uh quite a little tiffed over the uh is it tiff or tiffed? You're asking me, I can't speak. I think it's tiff.

Well, they get into a squabble over this onion tower. Yeah, and what I love about Captain Hotpants is he watches a couple videos on onion volcanoes. Next thing you know, the guy thinks he's a fucking expert on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just stack them, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just stack the onions right.

No culinary engineer is he. He does not understand the kind of technical whirlwind that goes into constructing one of these things successfully. You cannot have oblong rivets of red onions sloppily stacked on top of one another. That's not how it's fucking done at Benihana. Oh, you don't light it with a Bic lighter? No.

That is. Oh, really? Hey, by the way, didn't you crash a yacht last year, you fucking asshole? Get out of here. Not last year. And you don't mean that. You don't mean to call him a fucking asshole. If he's coming in here being an expert on this,

learn how to be an expert on not crashing gigantic boats into docks, okay? What's's worse i don't want to make an onion tower or you crash big yachts into docks huh okay well i think he might accuse you of straw manning but we are the the problem remains we have to uh do this onion tower and jason does this really bizarre thing where he takes her to preschool a little bit and he shows her what everybody's going to do when they see this thing go off without an itch. He's like, they're going to be like, wow. I'm like, what kind of pep talk is this? He was right, though. This is my favorite part.

Also, Onion Towers cannot be built with red onion. And I think everybody knows that. You know that. I haven't been to Benihana's in a while, so I'm not sure. But I recollect that they yellow or white or perhaps even a vadella onion adds to this kind of opaqueness to the volcano tower that draws you in um so with that kind of sheath of red on the outside it's not gonna work um let's get to more romance with culver and jimmy oh he gives her another one of those shells now this is cute and endearing

unfortunately she's a black widow and as dylan pointed out last week he's a fucking potato farmer yeah so this is not gonna work potatoes uh i don't think it is cute i think it's tired i don't want a shell what am i to do with the shell? Realistically, what are we going to do with this? Come on, you weren't dating someone in, I don't know, the eighth grade, and they handed you something special, like a rock they found, and you held it dear to your heart. You slept with the goddamn thing.

Maybe you licked it. Oh, I think you're doing that thing where you're talking about yourself as though it's hypothetical. Because I don't think you can broadly speak on people licking rocks. I just don't think it happens that often. Okay. My point is that's going to sit somewhere. You know?

Right. She's going to get on a plane because they're not going to that job. Olaf's not hiring. She's going to get through TSA. They're going to go, what's this? And she's's gonna go it's you know what you know what it is it's trash throw it away so i don't really see the point of it um we move on to the primary uh wearing the it's it's dinner time it's evening time uh the primary is wearing the dress that uh was singed by jamie they try to guilt trap margo over this not them not melissa it's that husband that likes onion towers again he does something that i really hate

which is he needs to remind you that the uh dress was destroyed by them well it's melted now so there's nothing we can do about that except complain in a very passive aggressive way you you fucking asshole but it also doesn't work on margo the sea rats care not for your i mean for really anything about you but they're not going to be made to feel guilty about this especially not margo she didn't do anything so she just stands there unflappable and says you look great you look fantastic that's what you got to do. Fight fire with dumb fire. What? I don't think it's dumb fire. Well, it's just, it's not an acknowledgement of what that primary did.

Yeah. Wow. Looks great. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oblivious fire. Yes. Yeah.

Okay. I see what you're saying. All right. So we pick up with Serena. No, that happened many times ago this was my favorite part of the show dill don't skip over this uh no yeah i won't oh well uh according to kermit because margo just pulled off making six martinis yeah three espresso and three you got it margo's blossomed uh from a caterpillar cleaning uh shit marks in the

laundry dungeon deforming wings and becoming a sea rat fly okay all right it is so funny how we have essentially the same exact note um and it's beautiful that asia is speaking so poetically about this transformation but be it a laundry caterpillar to a service butterfly, there's really been a lateral evolution from Sea Rat to Sea Rat. You know, and I'm sorry to say we love Margo. I do. But Margo's Sea Rat, you know.

So, Dana Point legends head out. Fucking weed heads. Taylor was gurgling tequila after they got back from whatever daytime activity they were doing. So she is currently blacked out. Not going to make it to dinner. Nope. Are we at dinner yet?

Yeah. Where Benihana has in fact been created. Now the guests joke that it's a George Foreman grill, but it is not a George Foreman grill. It is a flat grill that people generally impulsively buy at Target. Yeah. And they think about making pancakes every week. They do it once.

And then they put it in a space in the house that it's never seen again. And then eventually it ends up in the fucking garbage. Yeah, the only people that get a lot of utility out of Blackstones are retired YouTube creators who are fathers who are empty nesters themselves. And people constantly say, Oh, you know, mothers have a real tough time with that. Fathers do too.

They buy black stones and they start making various different dishes on them. And it's all kind of gross because the thing just heats up too fast. But before we get to Zarina flipping fish tails, we have a brief little interlude with culver and jimmy private school girl uh yes yes he is uh no no is this when joao asks hey what's up with that job and then joao is cynical about it working out this is the first this is the joao that we haven't seen that we did see but joao hates culver he hates culver but yeah uh, Culver says Captain Olaf has not said anything yet.

But he's also said, you got it, no problem. And of course, he kind of clues Joao in on this very kind of muddled fib with a

giant mouth full of steak or whatever it was. And I am happy to be done with that. We do not need that ever again. So we get back to this dinner from hell. We're flipping shrimps. Ross. I'm glad you know his name. Yeah.

The husband of Mikella? Mikella? Yeah. He stands up like a scarecrow and tries to bite a raw egg. Sit down. You're embarrassing yourself embarrassing yourself yeah i love a wife yeah yeah sit down yeah all right they're so vital uh-huh so they keep us in line yeah from doing stupid things um so um zarina great line sharing is caring about the weed she's a weed head uh we cut to a commercial break when Jason sits down for the shrimp toss. This was a kind of forced suspense that I thought was a little bit laughable,

but it's given us a good time to take a break for some ads ourselves. Pat, our next sponsor is an incredible company absolutely and they help you with things like this sometimes you need a little bit of a microdose whether you're too stressed out too torqued up maybe you just want to relax a little did i say too torqued up yeah i think you did um today's sponsor is microdose okay the other night my wheels were spinning your head was uh overworking itself i was thinking about things and i was thinking about other things and i said you know what i gotta get to sleep you know what i did i took a little microdose and boy did i have a lovely healthful sleep i woke up the next morning i kissed my wife on the forehead held my cat spun around the sun glistening in between the blinds and i said thank you

microdose yeah why wouldn't you why wouldn't you express gratitude by going to microdose.com and use promo code bad tv to get free shipping and 30 off your first order microdose is available nationwide to learn more about microdosing thc again go to microdose.com use promo code bad tv to get free shipping and 30 off your order links can be found in the description of this show but again that's microdose.com code bad tv all lowercase our next sponsor is green chef pat what is green chef well it's not i'll tell you it's a ccof certified meal kit company. Green Chef makes eating well easy with plans to fit every lifestyle, whether you're keto, paleo, vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free,

or just looking to eat more balanced meals. But Pat, what is it to you? Well, it makes my life easier. It's a godsend is what it is, Dylan. We are busy with two kids now, so it's just nice when you have that box show up and it has uh the the all the ingredients to make with your uh with your family we chose uh this month we chose the mediterranean package amazing yeah really yum absolutely guys what oh i was gonna say uh the next month i i think i'm gonna uh pick out the uh delicious discoveries package yeah yeah yeah that's fun yeah because that's like uh a discovery every night exactly or lunch or breakfast um if you want to build healthier

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starving you know and it's also it's just like wow they're just gonna throw that away wow yeah makes me angry it's a loss but we don't do that with green chef no we do not and nor do you if you go to greenchef.com slash 60 below deck and use promo code 60 below deck to get 60 off plus free shipping again that is greenchef.com slash 60 below deck and use promo code 60 below deck to get 60% off plus free shipping. Green Chef is the number one meal kit for eating well. Eat up. Back to the show. He caught it in his mouth. He did. Yeah, he caught it in his mouth. Back to the show. He caught it in his mouth.

He did. Yeah, he caught it in his mouth. Wow. I guess when you try and manifest something, you can make anything happen. Yeah, you could look at it that way or you could look at it like this. It's a simple thing that they try five times and they got it done once.

Manifestation is very, very powerful. So you're telling me if I went into his bedroom, I wouldn't see a, you know, a little- The secret? Well, not the secret. He actually would have had like a mouth open with a shrimp going to it. Oh.

That he cut out of a bunch of magazines. Oh, okay. It's your vision board. Like a kind of serial killer ransom note. Yeah. But a man, okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't think that you would see that in there. I think that you would see the secret on his bedside table uh what happens next uh dinner goes off better than planned screw it let's cut to next morning next morning yep um espresso is poured and we put some contacts in for the penultimate time um and i'm really worried about him how's he gonna see when she's gone um joao and serena are sad i don't know what the fuck these two kooks are doing i don't get what's going on here yeah well i don't think we're seeing everything that's going on it's a knuckleball this love story doesn't make a lot of sense are they a thing are they not a thing now no no no but then in this thing now are they a thing uh rumor mill uh is that they actually had a fight before that

very confusing dinner that everybody just thought like what's going on with you two basically being passive aggressive actually very aggressive with each other well it's kind of one-sided it was really just her yeah yeah but perhaps there was a scene cut out where there was a little argument that never made it into the show. A little tiff. That would have given context to what was really taking place.

Yeah. I know too much. I'm sorry. Well, yeah, and it's all alleged. Yeah, it is. That's true. And it's all hearsay. And if it's coming from sea rats,

it's likely a lie. Yeah. You know? We had a sea rat cancel on us this week. I just want to choke that person. Yeah. This is the third time you've done this to a sea rat. You okay?

They piss me off. You have to... This has to be water off a duck's back. They're fucking sea rats, man. That's what happens. I know. I should know better. All right.

So Luca and Jamie are both... Headed to the med! Yeah, they're both going to the med. Sneaky boy. He's going to be on the next show. I know. A lot of wrap-up shit here. More Margo's doing great.

And Jason's nostalgic about the condemned fishing vessel. And we celebrate a final goodbye to a final group of guests yeah now uh before the guests apart though uh captain hot pants he engages in a little bit of nostalgia do you remember this he tells us the boat has a lot of nostalgia yeah i was like not if you're a fucking flounder no it was a conveyor belt of murder yeah not a lot of good stories to share with the grandkids if you're a flounder on this boat well when i first got on the boat there was a hook in my mouth and then they uh they caught off my goddamn head yeah uh-huh i love the magical realism you bring to the show an old pappy flounder sitting down with his grandkids down the knee oh we were corn corn

cob pipe yeah but it would just be floating because remember grandpa's head got chopped off on this goddamn vessel yeah yeah yeah does nostalgia have to be good no yes it does i looked up the word yes it does It has to be a positive reflection. It has to be a happy memory. No, I mean, that doesn't sound like a happy memory. Getting killed? That's what I was saying. One could ask how it could be a memory at all.

All right, so the weedhead... What? Oh, guest apart. Yeah, the weedhead's head out, The J-man pays for the dress himself, and the season is culminated with a good old butt smashing of a tip meeting. Pat? $17,000, $1,400 each. Helmet goes to Jermaine. Professional.

Hey, professional job there. Concise, clean, clear. But we do... The tip was a bit of a whimper. $17,000 is not great. I know, but I get confused. Like, is it a day and a half they were on the boat? I mean, they did mess up your dress.

If they can get to 17 and there's kind of muted enthusiasm, it could have easily been a 20. Right. And the 20 line is the B to B minus line. Right. You know, so. Well, if we ever,

I'll say this to Bravo, if you're listening, Dylan and I and our wives would love to be guests on this boat. We'll not tip a thing. I'll tip 20. We'll tip 20. Trust me. I'll not tip a thing. Why not? You got to.

They'll make you look bad on the show, man. No, no, no. Be pleasant. Then don't tip. Don't give them anything. But you know what these sea rats are doing. They're down there doing preschool with onion and said there's nothing to tip for no i'm kidding of course we would tip but um i am in a loop right now i'm stuck in a loop okay okay after the tip

meeting the sea rats prepare for the night out and then we get to the vans oh you didn't say they made 14 grand a person i didn't say that should i have said that i don't think you needed to it was 13 but you rounded up yeah man thanks for getting me out of that loop and then i just come in with that that critique of your your tip meeting yeah i feel a little shitty about it that's all right that's all right all right let's get in the vans. Now, I'm always confused about this. I know we shouldn't always expect the person that we've been sleeping with for nine days

to get in the same van as us. It's all kind of fun. But this happens quite a bit. But I think it is sometimes when someone's not into the other Sea Rat, one way that they show them is they get into the other van. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's a powerful device. It is, isn't it?

Yeah. It's also an art of war kind of tactic. You split them up. They can't communicate to one another. Right. And you never know how long these rides are to these restaurants. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

You just don't. Well, Jemay checks in on that job. Can I really quickly talk about the fashion of the men? Go ahead. I know I dress like an odd duck sometimes. I was wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a corduroy jacket over the top of it. And one of the comedians I work with, the great Sam Tripoli, said, how many coins do you think he found at the beach yesterday?

So I don't have the greatest sense of fashion. But despite that, you have opinions. I mean, fucking Harry and they're all in these double dragon fucking dress for less like discount button ups. It's like, what is going on out here? Well, not Jemay. No, Jemay looks like she's going to. The Met Gala. Not the Met Gala, but one of the parties at night leading up to the Met Gala.

You know, it's a whole week. Is it fashion week? I don't know. I don't know. I think they're separated. But she's definitely going to like Elton John's private party. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Lionel Richie. And she walks in there with Culver and a door guy just smashes Captain Lego head right in the face. And she doesn't even look back. No. Or she does. And she keeps going. So, Joao is moaning about how he and Serena met before

and he's getting fucked up fast. And he's getting fucked up in front of his boss. Oh, the flaming, the flames of the forest? The flames of the forest the flames of the forest uh lucas says that's a didgeridoo fucking do yeah yay wow that's awesome hey what are you doing right now why are you being cynical

oh the didgeridoo is an impressive and difficult okay all right stop the didgeridoo is a difficult instrument to master it's akin to the rain stick it's very challenging to get that right people think you just take a didgeridoo and you turn it upside down it's supposed to make sound that's not how it works but they listen to it they tuck into some kangaroo right after and uh that's when we go around the table and start chatting about the season now this is when joao is different people can stand with different postures at different blood alcohol levels. But he is looking to me to be kind of point one and up at this point. I was going to say stage five douche dick.

Like, dude, don't make Captain Lego head likable to me, but you were doing it, man. Yeah. I have to say there's some rules. Wrong time time wrong place all right so he starts getting in after captain lego head as he sits next to his girlfriend party foul broken bro code dude yeah you never fucking break a guy's balls when he's sitting next to his girl you do that when you guys are with the guys i hadn't thought about that, but yeah, it is kind of... Well, the only reason to do that

would be to cause the most harm because that's a pointed thing to do that in front of somebody's girlfriend. That's rude. I went on a date one time and a very nice girl... Is this a personal story? Yeah, yeah.

And we got back to my apartment and my roommate was Justin. I won't say his last name. And he had one of his jerk friends over. It was like 12 o'clock. And the girl I was had gone on a date with. What do you mean jerk friend? His jerk.

Justin had a friend that was like, he'd known from like Connecticut that was out here. And he was in our apartment sitting on a couch. And he was a jerk. He was a total dick. And he starts being a dicky to the girl that I went on a date with. And I said, get the fuck out of here.

Justin didn't know what to do about it. I'm like, get out. You're being rude. Get out. Who does that? You're in my apartment. Yeah. Anyway.

Have you forgiven him? I, uh, my roommate, my former roommate. No, Justin, the jerk head. Well, Justin was my roommate. It was his friend. Well, yeah, the jerk head. No, I haven't forgiven him. Oh yeah.

The jerk. They're both jerks. Well, yeah, the jerk head. No, I haven't forgiven him. Oh, yeah. The jerk. They're both jerks. They belong to each other. Okay. So, you okay? Yeah. It's not like a painful place you went back to. Oh, no, no, no.

All right. Some of the best times of my life. All right. So, we rise from the kangaroo and we go to Gilligan's. Culver and Jamie are once once again there's this kind of um do you remember when john and olivia got split up on the dance floor of the ride l high dance competition scene yeah that's what happened to them numerous times tonight of a 45 year old Cuban woman named Cha-Cha DiGiorgio would come in and just kind of do this separation with us. You know what I mean? Except by this scenario, I guess

Luca would be Cha-Cha. Yeah. And what this does is it leaves Culver in a van with Joao, who lays in on him even more about the Olaf thing. It's insane. He's just trying to get a rise out of Culver, and he does. Culver says, you're not my real mom. You can't tell me what to do. That's right. By the way, this will set up Joao's reasoning for making out with Margot. Zarina steps in and tells Joao, you're being a dick here he doesn't want to hear it so that means that now he must find a very intoxicated margo to stick his tongue down her throat yeah um makes complete sense from a logical standpoint yeah is it okay if two people make out and they're both zombies

no i don't think so no go home and go to bed how about everybody how about everybody just not get blackout on the brink drunk at the age of 38 dylan i've said this what i mean i know you're a sea rat so i know what you're trying to bury, but you're not going to find the answer to your problems at the bottom of that. No. Like, quit going out and just drinking till you don't know your name. Get fucked up. Have a little, get a buzz going. But what are we doing?

Trying to bury a lot of pain is what we're doing. Unbelievable. Mm-hmm. All right, so. Anyway. They have a kiss. Well, which ones are we talking about? Margo and Joelle. Yeah, Margo.

And it was, he kind of stuck his face to her lips, in my opinion. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how culpable I can hold her at that. No, no, no. Listen, obviously he's more culpable. I guess what I'm saying is i don't

think either of them knew what they were standing on the ceiling of the floor right uh when margo's in that state sea rats let margo just roam around she's like um one of those ai uh floor cleaners that runs into things and reorients yeah she's a fucking Roomba. Yeah, she's a Roomba. You are not to fuck or kiss or get naked around a Roomba. It doesn't make any sense. To keep the analogy going, yeah, that little Roomba goes around and it just bounces around the floor picking up dust. And every once in a while, it doesn't charge on batteries. You pour a white claw into it and it just operates for another two hours.

That's Margot. You hit the home button. All right. to it and it just operates for another two hours that's marga you hit the home button uh all right so um jamie is twerking in front of luke was that too mean what we just did there yeah the room a bit yeah no i loved it okay all right so jimmy is twerking in front of luca while culver is jumping and spitting everywhere he's like um he kind of turns into like venom or carnage one of the he's gonna climb a building yeah yeah one of the slobbery spider-man villains i didn't know what he was gonna do but at this point so i think i know what scene you're talking about it's harry culver and joao are like dancing on a table yeah what they're doing is what generally what other

patrons would point out to security and saying uh yeah i think these guys need to go yeah coyote coyote pretty over there has got to get out of here you know um but that leaves jamie and chacha di giorio to go over to the bar and have a little chat all right so great editing here dylan because we have culver talking to zarina and then we have luca and jimmy at the bar so we get the first cut culver tells zarina uh his relationship is solid yeah meanwhile uh jimmy tells tells Luca he's fucking hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they kiss, kind of. And this is where, like, I feel bad for Culver, and I don't want to shit on Culver, but you have to shit on Culver,

because what Cloud Atlas fucking universe are you living in where you think that you guys are falling in love you have to fucking come back down to earth and kind of look at the variables right hotter than anything that you've ever seen in your life forget dated eight days sea rats hot like just pull back a little bit culver all right so to that point dylan so generally because all right we've pointed out like the world knows this whoever watches the show she is out he's out of her league okay no is that how it is or other way around okay well i guess if he's in farm ball and she's in the major she's in the majors they're not in the same league when they do go out he does something i'd recommend if i was like a like a counselor

for how to make sure this thing works out let her have fun and don't be glued to her all goddamn night right the problem is is she ain't into him yeah so that episode title right so that kind of works uh that that's not gonna work out yeah yeah yeah yeah well it doesn't they kiss and we head back to the boat this is when joao is just completely zombified one last purge in the jacuzzi but the sea rats have nothing left in them they they can't make it to the jacuzzi no they're too fucked up to make it to the jacuzzi joao gets in bed he face plants into the top bunk saying jacuzzi like some kind of fucking mantra and then he blacks out yeah it was like the film the wrestler you know mickey rourke his character he's having a goddamn heart attack but he wanted one last jump off that turn

buckle yeah yeah yeah and then he slams his hand into a deli meat a cutter yeah that was the scene before oh okay great movie but that's he's really losing it towards the end there yeah he gets pissed off at some old lady wanting a few few more shreds of real speed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, coming up. Yeah. I'll show you. I'll cut my thumb off, you mouthy bitch. Jesus.

I love that movie. Do you really? The Wrestler? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's awesome. Maria Bella? No. No. Marissa Tomei. Marissa Tomei. That's right. What's up with Mickey Rissa tomei marissa tomei that's right what's up with mickey rourke is he dead no he's alive kind of yeah so um zerina we we wait for the next next morning zerina and joel have a chat over a sig zerina is still saying i don't know what to do do what you eventually did but in this moment it's very clear i mean he made out with your friend not made out but tried to kiss her yeah yeah she says all the things that

she should be saying but i don't think her emotions are catching up to the what she knows is to be true which is this guy's a jerk yeah you cannot trust him for one second right and uh yeah i do feel bad that joel is kind of i mean he's very very upset and remorseful about his behavior but you know with these sea rats and with these these hurt people you never know if it's uh if it's the demon inside kind of throwing up a smoke screen or if they really do feel remorse yeah i'm gonna lean on the ladder yeah i think it's a sea rat demon oh okay i think yeah yeah cry now cry cry right right okay uh so jamie is told about the night before she relays it to culver all the sea rats are are uh it's it's on the teeth this morning yeah everyone knows but

captain lego head yeah that's wonderful right here's the interesting part uh luca and jamae kind of have a little uh conversation about who gets to tell captain lego head that they kissed i think it's pretty obvious it's jamamy private school girl she insists that she does it because she's technically his girlfriend yeah she checked yes that's right so she goes and tells culver and in one moment i feel bad for him in another i'm reminded that he is captain lego head you know there's just this I don't want to use the word. I don't want to say anything. You know, people like this defense of Culver as getting old. I don't know how many times I can call him dumb.

Like, I'm fatigued by it. But it's very dumb when you see somebody go take this ceramic starfish and forcibly close her hand around it. She's obviously like, whoa, that's not how adults resolve this. He watched a lot of romantic comedies when he was 14. He thinks this is what you do in a movie. That's what I'm thinking is going on. Yeah, it's very hammed up. It's very melodramatic.

that's what i'm thinking's going on yeah it's very hammed up it's very melodramatic and unfortunately for jamae it does not work because it would never work i although something i've not seen and this is now a new term that's developed out of this she kind of feels bad about the whole thing you know so of course she's gonna need to leave the boat and I guess possibly have sex with the dude. So she has a thing called pity sex. Pity sex. Try that at a bar. Cozy up to a group of girls and go, my dog died today. That's not pity sex. Gardening accident.

Gardening accident. Weedwhacker took his fucking head off. Who was holding the weedwhacker? Who wants up? Blow me. Know what? Because it's not a thing. Pity sex is not a thing. What not a thing pity sex is not a thing

what do you mean pity sex is not a jamaica of course pity sex is a thing for i don't know will ferrell's entire book was in from wedding jazz yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that movie wow okay well no but no he said my favorite line from that whole will ferrell thing is when the the guy dies in a hang gliding accident and he calls him an idiot idiot idiot uh so anyways my the thing i found amusing was that jamie tells him that she cheated on him and she's like so what are you gonna do and he's like no nothing i love you she's like, so what are you going to do? And he's like, nothing. I love you. She's like, oh, great.

Come on. Damn it. Come on. We're going to let this go because of a little innocent kiss. Come on. Mama Keem gives him some good advice. Take the high road. It's clearly a sabotage of the relationship happening.

And I just wish that she could have talked to him before he had Joao design that note in pages. But we get to the goodbyes. Harry's going to let the women come to him. That's fine. That's good. But also work on your game. Work on your riz, Harry. Put some weight on too, kid.

Yeah, bulk up a little bit. Margo's offered a job on the jayman's next boat she says she's gonna take some time off though and work on herself wishing you all the best sea rat ship is kind of it's inescapable at times but if anybody could shed it i think it'd be marga then luca heads out he did his job he came in worked blew up a boat man's kind of and i got the fuck out of there i'd say 10 out of 10 for you dude see i'm mad uh culver and jume have this chat where they uh don't break up and she uh bursts a blood vessel and they leave the boat together it is actually kind of sweet that she wants to to to leave him now would be way too heart-wrenching for him so if she can you know have one more pity bang with him which she's into she's she

lob she will she'll take it oh You know, I think it's better for everybody. Cooler head prevailed. Nice job. Jermaine private school girl. Zarina heads out fun season with the lady. She was great. Joao heads out next market improvement, but still very much Joao

and Asia is up next. She bids adieu to Captain Jason. Who's going to put his contact lenses in? Not sure. And then I think they did a full hour, which was their replacement for the reunion. I don't know if you, I watched a little bit of it.

Her and Captain Hot Pants went on Watch What Happens Live via Skype, of course. They did a full hour? I think they did an hour. Oh, wow. I would have watched that. I didn't know that that was happening. hour? I think they did an hour. Oh, wow. I would have watched that. I didn't know that that was happening. Yeah, I think they spilled a little tea.

Okay, well, we want to say thank you, as we do at the end of every season, for joining us throughout the season. We've gotten a lot of new listeners over this season. Yeah, grew, man. And can't thank you guys enough for being here. Hope we made you laugh.

Hope we did the show justice. And yeah, Med is right around the corner. If you want more of us, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. And Golden Hour is hitting the bad TV. What is it called? Golden Bachelor is hitting the bad TV feed. So go type in bad TV to hear that. We love you guys very much.

We'll see you for the premiere episode of Med. See you next week, guys. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat, say goodbye. Later, dudes. Thank you.