Kill James Bond! - Kyle's Fallen and He Can't Get Up | Below Deck Med S7 E17

Episode Date: November 1, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to break down fish, falls, being drunk for 69 days, frat love, Big Irv, keeping up the face of a company, courage, more fish and even more from Bravo's Below Deck Med. OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING WINTER HOUSE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.com

sucking fumes and just gets absolutely sick of these that redhead with the nice ass they got shit canned because they didn't uh want her to sleep in the laundry room everyone likes her people don't have any bad thoughts about her she only had like a four episode arc that's the way to go out i'm agreeing with you dylan thank you thank you remember when she heard me on the show and then she went on uh watch what happens live and basically uh uh stole my concept to keep her on the show can i I answer that question? Yes. No.

Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. Hope that wasn't too loud. I'm Dylan Saddle, up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys. Pat, produce podcasts over there behind my glasses. Permission to come aboard. Permission granted.

Public service announcements. Bad TV. Bad TV. Another podcast show. Go look them up. Subscribe slash follow slash do this. Leave five-star reviews, kind words, and join us on Patreon for so much stuff.

Love is Blind Season 3. That's right. Wrapping up Bachelor in Paradise in the next week or two. And more specifically about Bad TV, we're covering Below Deck's Bravo Brethren, Winterhouse. Winterhouse. Winterhouse. Which I just found out the first season was only six episodes.

You fellas know that? Sounds about right. No, no, no. How could they possibly do more? Great point, but I still thought we were running to 16, 18 with Reunion. So I don't know how long this is going to last. We got to send in the suggestions for the next thing you want us to cover on bad but most importantly bad tv is free just find it and then subscribe to it how many snowballs are we gonna give winterhouse you gotta listen to find

out oh and i also thought of a thing that i should have probably said off air but you know how we love is blind on our patreon patreon.com such another podcast network you can listen to it after all we get all these people to pay us these saps we can put that out on bad tv nice that's great yeah you you fucking fans we love you so much and we're not trying to squeeze you for every fucking cent we possibly can i am don't speak all right so guys we have to get into this episode it is episode 45 of this season um how many pots do we give it pat go ahead okay first off it is episode 17 not episode 45 but i get the the sentiment that you're throwing out there generally there's 18 episodes in a season of below deck but i hear talk of crew members of there being another charter and i actually think i saw footage at the tail end of this one yeah

that one's going to be good because i think there's an nfl player's crony or agent or manager that wants pancakes for dinner well he's going to inform the crew that that man's body is as much as a house like oh you said those words what a gross human being but anyways go ahead it's about this show it's about this show okay okay um all right uh this kyle. You know I'm a fan of Kyle's. I still want to talk to him. I know, Dylan, you've changed your mind on Kyle. I think he's an entertaining figure. But all the whining and I just have so many thoughts on, because I've had a co-worker like him that didn't want to do anything and he still wanted the paycheck.

That's Kyle. This episode, that was kind of fun. It's a big fish night too i don't understand how this happens where a chef who fucked up the the night before decides he's going to do a five course meal involving fish in every single i guess i'll leave that up to the expert uh resident food expert dylan why not uh dave uh why don't you have your chief stew ask the guests uh what they might want for dinner that night as opposed to just kind of, I don't know, winging it. But it was entertaining. I give it a, I'm ready to be over this season, actually.

I just didn't want to be negative. Zero knots. Can I? Of course. I had a very specific question to ask him. Yeah. What about this did you find entertaining? Well, I just gave it zero knots.

Okay. It changed my mind at the last minute. I think it was not entertaining at all. This was filler. Bravo, why are you stretching out? You have 80 iterations of the show. Let's just start the new one. What are we doing? Why are you stretching?

Actually, I did enjoy some of the Kyle stuff. He is comically melodramatic. Wow. He brought some entertainment. I would have laughed. I would have been like, Sandy. Sandy.

Kyle felt it. He felt it. He felt it. Guys, his ligaments are strained. I don't say that sarcastically. I'm sure he probably got hurt. 12 knots. Low score for me. 12 knots. Wrap this up at 18. got hurt. 12 knots. Low score for me.

Yeah, wrap this up at 18. Come on. Come on. Last season was only 16, too, plus a reunion. I love my job, but there is a time when something's been around a little too long and we need to move on, and that time is now. You can only, your enjoyment of something is only relative to how the enjoyment used to be. Sure, this is better than, I don't know, cleaning out septic tanks. But when last season was good, this isn't going to seem as good.

Sorry, Dylan, just one last note. Producers and PR people, I know you listen to us from Bravo. Don't go down the road of who wants to be a millionaire or American Idol. Sure, there's a thirst for your content, but don't overstay your welcome. It destroyed both those franchises. Don't have Meredith host the show. Exactly.

That was my point. Kind of with you guys, I have no idea why I have so many notes, and I'm so sorry to say that to you guys. A lot of food tonight. No, it wasn't even about the food. I was just writing, you know, just flowing, dude. But yeah, no, I mean, it was a filler episode. I'll mention this.

The sea rats need shorter seasons because very rarely, you know, Z is an exception to the rule. Courtney is an exception to the rule, Courtney is an exception to the rule, but they benefit from being bit part players. You know, anybody who's at the foreground of these stories, we just run out of steam with them. And eventually we either dislike them or annoyed by them or have pure hatred for them.

And so the sea rats would benefit from having, you know, fifth 14 episodes. So we don't kind of suck in fumes and just gets absolutely sick of these that redhead with the nice ass they got shit canned because they didn't uh want her to sleep in the laundry room everyone likes her people don't have any bad thoughts about her she only had like a four episode arc that's the way to go out i'm agreeing with you dylan thank you thank you remember when she heard me on the show and then she went on uh watch what happens live and basically uh uh stole my concept to keep her on the show can i answer

that question yes no oh so let's get into it uh here's how intense this whole thing is no you know what that was the note from last week i don't know why my google doc is not updated well maybe your notes did what bravo does to us every time, and they showed the end of last episode at the beginning of this episode. That is true. That conversation that Sandy has with Dave and Tosh, it happened in totality twice on the front and back of a commercial break. Just wild shit.

So brazen from Bravo. So Kyle has fallen down, and he cannot get up. Not only can he not get up, he cannot move and he cannot stop making that noise that Nick made when he got on that one coaster. Yeah, it wasn't a coaster.

It was a zipper carnival ride. Zipper. I feel like my scared noises were warranted. Those things aren't safe. People die every year and they're hidden from the news. What was your scared song?

So thank God we've got these crack EMTs on the case. They lay a blanket on him to warm him up. I have errors and omissions. Last week I said the way he was laying there was like Jim Carrey when he was on the tarmac in Liar Liar. Yes. I actually meant when Jim Carrey was was on the tarmac and liar liar yes i actually meant when jim carrey was laying on the tarmac in dumb and dumber which also made me realize that jim carrey has a history of repetitious movie titles where he ignores faa regulations

right liar liar and yes man was he in dumb and dumber was he in Yes, man? And Dumb and Dumber. Was he in Yes, man? He was. Oh, 100%, which is an exact replica, as you've pointed out, to liar, liar. Hey, one thought on Kyle, and I don't want to sound like a jerk or that I don't care about Kyle, but I've made this analogy before. If I'm in that World War II and I'm in a bunker. In that one? Yeah, with Kyle in a bunker and he's doing this shit, I'm turning to my commander and I'm going, Sir, I don't want to work with Kyle anymore. Yeah.

And your commander, your commander would say, how much of the Pocky chip did you eat? Yeah. So you're talking about if Kyle's in your foxhole? Yeah. If we're in a bunker. Oh yeah. I would not want Kyle to come in my house. Sir, I don't.

See what? You could have let him get that out clean. You know, it's a stolen bit from dave and big cat uh all right so they lay a blanket on him like i said you want to warm up anybody who's injured first and foremost he is then lifted with said blanket draped over him like a warlock or something and he is taken upstairs storm asks him if he uh has drawn up a will and sandy says shut up storm calm down um we do need to take you to the hospital though um and no you don't if he is not back tomorrow and is not mobile the interior is really going to struggle here um making blowjob shots for these guests and given it's going to be especially bad

given the certainty that we know that when you go on this vacation you're you've a 60 to 90 chance of not leaving the dock so it's going to be doubly hard um what happens well well yes so there's a quick turnaround and kyle's back from the hospital at three in the morning yes uh but i was wondering what what is going to happen when the primary's daughter uh flips over the fucking Scrabble board and says this isn't seven star service Natalia's on rooms, Tosh is making those Tabasco margaritas Kyle is supposed to be there to pick up all those letters

he's not going to be there I was just going to make a joke about what if you lose the X can't spell xylophone so Tosh says that her heart wrenches for Kyle, and she begins to have a little moisture in her eyes. She's a sea witch, though, so that's not real.

The silver lining here is Natalia and Natasha want to slit each other's throats. They're going to have to work closer than ever before. Hashtag great TV. Can you just imagine having in your little rack x iLafone, and just waiting all game? There would be no E, but that's obviously what you would use on the board. And you'd just be sitting there waiting to pull that X and just, and no, it wouldn't come.

Because Kyle, just like, unlike Big Irv said, wouldn't get off the field. Remember his toothache? You could just take what I said then and put it in this episode. Get off the field, Kyle. Listen to Big Irv, Kyle. So all kidding aside, he talks about the, oh, excuse me.

Like you mentioned, Kyle gets back. He has strained some ligaments and he's being really fucking gay about the whole thing. No, all kidding aside, he talks about the stigma of being deemed soft while working. Because you're gay. And of course, he'll want to take some time off, get paid for it, and not do anything. Well, I thought that he was going to be a fucking badass like Storm.

And just, you know, pull it all together. But he will take a rest for a couple days. Now, I took umbrage with this because it's not about you being gay, Kyle. It's because you sounded like this when you twisted an ankle. Austin, I think this time you may have finally met your match. Oh, no, baby.

I've beaten Dr. Evil before. A little bit ahead. A little bit ahead. Okay, no, we'll keep it. Be well-fed. Okay, a lot ahead. Yeah, a lot ahead. I had this marked out.

I do love this movie. Okay. I'm still alive, but I'm very marked out. I do love this movie. Okay. Okay. I'm wondering if this is still head or not. No, this is it. Okay. head or not no this is it okay it's not because you're gay how dare you kyle use that right right right i don't know i i get it by the way sit down you can sit down and do laundry yes iron there's many things you could do that would help out the team uh i i'm sitting next to two fucking regular old patents here my god patents but not bigots because i worked with a lesbian at sports

authority and she was the toughest broad i ever met yeah right well there's you know the stigma goes the opposite way with them so um he is worried that he is going to be sent home and sorry to say it but um again he's being quite the little bitch about it i'm kidding uh learn how to suck it up and suck cock like a man there's no crying and yachting uh if kyle is worried about being soft he need not because the softest person on the boat is the extreme sports addict himself dave who who the next morning, yell it. Next morning. Is clinging like an annoying bird to being professional with Tosh, quote unquote.

Though he's so emotionally soft, I would like to congratulate him on his 400th solo skydive. Congrats, Dave. Well, that was a new photo he posted today. Yeah. Nice. He's wearing a weird helmet, like he jumped from a higher elevation. You know that Red Bull guy that jumped from today. Yeah. Nice. He's wearing a weird helmet like he jumped from a higher elevation. You know that Red Bull guy that jumped from space? Oh, yeah.

He's wearing that helmet. Imagine how much time it takes to do that 400 times. Oh, man. I don't want to call it a waste because it's not my life. You know, he likes doing it. But my God. I feel like three times. I'll never do it because i'd probably die the first time i do it yeah we're doing that yeah i think i would like to go enough to go once

by myself but i don't know if it'll ever happen because it seems like such a rigmarole to get out there it's like a whole day for again it's the clerical work you got to get there you got to sign the papers you got to take the test you got to watch the video it's just too much once i get my uh full-time assistant from the philippines off up work i'm gonna have him figure that out for me yeah so uh they need to shorten these seasons like i said because we usually it's sorry to be redundant here but this is where i've written these thoughts down um we usually just come to a point where we don't like any of them that they're sea rats they can't be redeemable for very long. All humans have their ups and their downs, their faults and their goodies, you know?

But sea rats, that's truncated. It's an even smaller opportunity, you know? They live long enough to... Be the villains, or annoying. Remind us that they're sea rats. I almost said earlier a bunch of Batmans. So, you suspects type twist. The next day, they still cannot get off the dock.

What a vacation. Cue hero shots of Storm saying that the pressure is on. The Persians are coming, and he needs to imbue strength and unity amongst his team if they're going to fucking survive this. This is your moment. Shut up, Storm. Shut up, Storm.

Okay, great. So, let's get back to Poopypants and Ursula. There's this weird question. And Captain Timeshare. Right, right, right. But first, there is this strange question about the ordering of fruit. She says no, which was weird because there's always fruit. And that is when Super Saiyan Sandy timeshare Captain Sandy walks in.

Hey. And there is an abundance of fruit on the table. And I don't want to be too tinfoily here, but it wouldn't surprise me if Dave prepared a CC's pizza amount of fruit so that he could throw the uneaten away and make it seem as though Tosh did not order enough. Like he's in that place right now. You think so? I think that's beneath him.

I think he's just being a petty little bitch where he's going to go like, I'm kind of reciprocation from Tosh, he would see the amount of fruit, not make all of it and ask a petty question. Did you order anymore? Because he knows that there isn't anymore. But I don't want to get hung up on this detail. We have to talk about conflict resolution. Sure, sure. Right? Yes, yes.

So we talked to him. We need to work together. We talked to him when he was in here really nice guy he admitted that he was psychotic when he lost his fucking mind uh but he right now he was pussy matized he makes me want to throw up um it sucks because we actually got his interview right in the middle like of his the peak of his redemption yeah his redemption he was fine everything was you're like oh dave's got his mojo back and not back to being a bitch wow how the mighty have fallen or maybe not so mighty sorry dave i'm gonna whatsapp i'm sorry i said that uh sandy senses the tension in this room guys guys hey guys let's do this guys

rise above it um from do you want to you have any commentary on uh i'll say she handles it okay she's like hey it's about the charter get your shit together and start getting along and be professionals we've had a tumultuous past with captain sandy well me especially you especially i accused her being on pills at bravo con i started to regret that later and be like maybe that's not good for the future of our show is allegedly allegedly allegedly yeah who's this gonna what did i mention what parody law oh that she was annoyed at bravo con and kind of said some nasty stuff about uh that was the tea in like the shade room and shit she was rude to the simpletons she said regular people allegedly but um just taking her character as her character is i think that she has evolved

to you know not to be millennial about it but i think that we're looking at a riot you from here on out because i think she's just jumped up to a level that she who knows maybe she can go back down but i i i can't believe i'm saying it, but I kind of love Captain Sandy. Well, Dylan, she's watched herself on TV. She's probably saw the criticism, and she's made the needed adjustments. Yes, but Patrick, many people do see the things they need to change and do not change them. I commend Super Saiyan Captain Sandy.

I haven't talked shit about her all season, dude. captain sandy you know hey i haven't talked shit about her all season dude um and to the fan out there who has gotten into the deeper stages of dbz i apologize for bringing up super saiyan 4 you are just like captain sandy you are adjusting some of your mistakes i kept wanting to say it but i couldn't i was like i'm gonna say it wrong whatever you said wrong yeah and then i think super saiyan 4 maybe there's a different one but he he can like time slows down i don't want to get into it um that's john wick so no that's max pain yes so um from the looks of it dave turning around oh after this conversation i and also piano in the matrix that sounds like a puddle jumper it's like it's so goddamn loud these fucking planes just bureaucrats getting greased you know the fumes that are just raining down on this neighborhood as planes fly from burbank to

new york from burbank to New York, it's absolutely disgusting. So from the looks of it, this conversation went well. We're healing. Kidding. Dave turns around and furiously washes his hands, and Tosh says absolutely nothing. So I'd say this little pep talk. Yeah, it didn't help at all.

Yeah, it's just going to be exactly what these two need. So the children wake up. They take it upon themselves to invite the captain to breakfast for what is, you know, for all intents and purposes, a performance review. I loved this move. It was initially framed as a nice gesture, but it's really some FaceTime to shit on her ruining their vacation. Hey, so do you think we'll ever leave the dock?

Oh, are you enjoying your piece of bread and eggs? Oh, okay. Yeah, because we really like to leave here. You know, we're paying all this money. Thanks for joining us for breakfast, Captain Sandy. They also offer a bunch of ways that maybe they could get off the dock. Just checking to make sure she's a real captain, not a TV captain. They're like, did you try turning it off and on?

Yeah, right, right. Yeah, they gave her the IT guy treatment. Yeah, she's tech support in India. So weird shots of wet avocado being dumped out into a bowl, and then we get to said breakfast, which if I was Sandy, not only would I have refused to go, I would have told Tosh to tell them, them no we're not getting off the dock you see that no need for the interrogation but alas it does take place sandy weathers this storm here's that loudmouth blonde bat um the of the daughter lily or whatever her fucking name is um

i was trying to be soft about the daughter with that blonde bat note and then she starts talking about how she wishes she could have seen the stabilizers in action and has that evil giggle and let's just call a spade a spade bad is not the right word cunt is the right word i cannot stand this girl and i apologize because she's very very young i'm sure i was horrible at 21. Women mature much more faster than men she's fully formed as a human being. Dude these types of people get into power they just destroy things so I am lucky

that she only thinks that she's powerful because if her hands were on anything of import it would be an absolute fucking disaster. Oh I had a different take I was like oh these two daughters of mine be a proud dad and take them on vacation they're trying to be polite you know. I was like, oh, these two daughters of mine would be a proud dad and take them on vacation. They're trying to be polite, you know?

I was pretty devastated, too, that she's not going to get to see those stabilizers. So that's pretty crazy how you spoke of that young child. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it makes sense, though. She gets it from mom and dad. Let's talk about how the steps are dangerous. Go on. Sandy tells the guests that Kyle took a seriously hard fall and seriously hurt

himself the mom says just our luck it's not about you serpent eat your fucking croissant these people are i understand where they're coming from but god it actually is about them yeah i actually thought i actually shot it showed it not the specific retelling of the the grave injury not that i actually thought it showed their empathy because they had they the help has become such a part of their family right that it affects them when uh just their luck and it is okay to refer to them as help when they are white. Mm-hmm. Okay? Of course.

Yeah. Come on. So Storm talks about how important it all is again, and we've got a meanwhile. Meanwhile. Breakfast is served, and you guys stop whenever. Oh, please let them have it.

Breakfast is served. They set up the water sports area. Dave says he tries hard all the time. And we get to Dave and Tosh trying to do a little conflict resolution. They speak on how they've both changed and how they can't be their bubbly selves. And I don't even know why I wrote this note down. At this point, who gives a fuck about these two? I definitely, definitely want to stop talking about them

until we have to next week. It might be okay when the boyfriend sticks his nose and again starts talking shit about Dave. Might spice it up for me. I want to know how he got Dave's number. That's true. Natasha. Exactly.

Yeah. So while the guests head out to swim, Natalia deals with the chemical disguise of these horrific brats fleeing their bodies for the safety of clean white sheets. They wrap with their water fun. And this is below deck. These vacations are run by sea rats. So Courtney has managed to find the only pipe sticking out of the water within 20 miles.

So begins a comedy of errors the charter brokers have an expertise of anchors and evidently the use of controlling one's breath in stressful situations that was such a fucking bitchy thing to say take a breath okay take a breath it's like telling someone to relax like shut the fuck up it not going to work. What did you guys think of the guest instructing Courtney? Backseat driver motherfucker. Even though I assume they're feeling this person doesn't know what they're doing, mainly because they just drove us into the only pipe in the Mediterranean Sea. So what are they going to do now?

But I hated that because whenever you're trying to problem solve, the last thing you need is someone barking behind you going have you tried this have you yes sir yes sir I had Kayla and I deal with that a lot in our on our jobs I bet if they would have kept skimming the bottom of that that little ocean part they were in you would have found like a tin can a work boot and a big book of cliches yes did you say his name just because he's listening because the guests the a work boot, and a big book of cliches. Did you say his name just because he's listening? Because the audience has no fucking idea what you're talking about.

I just thought of that. Yeah. Bad radio. Yeah. Bad radio. Hey, Kalen. Kalen is a former coworker of ours that Pat has taken under his wing and really taught him aquatic scenery. I don't know.

What exactly do you call your industry? He taught him how to drive Uber and be an expert in black culture. No, I had, this just happened to Kalen and I the last time he was working for me and I was on a job site. We had a customer behind us

and they're barking very much like this same person's doing this, like asking a bunch of questions, offering some advice on it. And I said, you know, I charge $35, more dollars an hour if you stand behind us and then i shoot him away i said caitlin that's how it's done yeah that's so funny so um back to the boat we go the brave warriors of the banner storm have done their job now it's time for the interior to knock it out of the park did you say

it like a jovial way where they yeah it. It's passive aggressive. But I mean it. Yeah, they get the message. That's funny. Yeah, beat it. Loser. So Sandy asks if the interior needs help, to which Natasha replies, no, we're fine. Really?

Well, she was framing it in, should I call for more help? Oh. Okay. That was just confusing to me. Like, is the job hard or is it not hard? Like, I think it's hard because they're up for 20 straight hours. Oh, at one point they showed, this has to be illegal. They had like three and a half hours sleep in between like an eight hour shift or something.

It was just insanity. A 20 hour shift. Yeah, it was wild. So they do get everything done okay. sleep in between like a eight eight hour shift or something just insanity a 20 hour shift yeah it was wild so they do get everything done okay and we move on to the evening but before we get there let's take a quick break to talk about these wonderful sponsors you know what time it is yes it's time to get sexy yes you know how you get sexy damn Dame? You meet Dip. Yeah, well, Dame, but yes, you meet Dip. Dame's intuitive introductory vibrator. Whether Dip is your first vibrator or the toy that helps you rediscover what feels good for you,

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stuff but one note was us really explain a time how Magic Mind, which is a once-daily elixir that will help you not procrastinate, a time that Magic Mind has helped you actually do something that you've been putting off. Well, I think this is going to get me a little trouble, and this isn't an admission of murder, but I took some Magic Mind. Some guy screwed me over on some deal where he was going to build something in my backyard.

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And I would like to add, or Sandy, enter promo code Jason or Sandy, magicmind.co. And I would like to add, if you don't want to hear ads, even Magic Mind, they're not exempt from this, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network and sign up for the $10 tier where you can get every single show we do ad-free. Later.

Bye, guys. All right, so let's get to dinner prep he is going to kind of cook up something something tomca uh he's also going to have a sea bream and tuna and mahi mahi this is going to be a redemption meal and once again sounds to me like a lot of fish um let's get to the table though the dad is adorned with a rhinestone goatee and says in a british accent i wish the weather was better can you fucking pelicans open your gullets sorry i just want them to stop talking about the weather. I don't care about their plight.

They're on a yacht. I don't care about their plight. Please stop talking about the fucking weather. But speaking of pelicans, oddly enough, these ones do not like fish. How does this happen? None of them do. None of them do. I just... I think I have an idea.

These petulant fucks did not say that they do not like this on their all-important preference sheet. Because he would not have done this if there were cautions against it. But also, Dave, regardless of whether or not they've said they like it, you're cooking for choogy tongue blinds. Just serve them fucking filet.et and that's it and some fucking sea bugs yeah because that's a wow factor just give them fucking shrimp cocktail you know if the meal is nice enough i don't have an issue with replicating what works right nice steak nice shrimp cocktail maybe give them some oysters they'll be fucking blown away by that you know if they request specific things but don't give them five courses of fish i mean it's my god even my wife who uh i don't think she knows what she's talking

about she's like every single one of those fish dishes is identical to one another it's just another fucking piece of dead fish at the center of it. Well, that is an absurdly dumb take. Oh, I'll tell her you said that. So Tosh says, if you're going to change anything, let me know. Dave says he's sticking to it because he doesn't know how to tackle a change. Nick, laugh. You get it? Tackle?

Yeah, fish. Fish tackle? Yeah yeah that's good so coconut broth with fish is up first and when it is served i mean of course i got it right so we cut to commercial before we get the verdict on the dish um we have people going oh i don't like fish then the dish hits the table so if you've been watching Below Deck long enough, they're going to love it. That means they're going to love it. They do kind of dig it, and unfortunately for them,

there is plenty more fish coming. Tuna and tagliatelle, I think, with confit sun-dried tomatoes is up next. They absolutely adore it. And here is when Reed's Alabama lessons come into play. He knows how to cool down a bottle quicker. Thank you, Reed. Then up comes the cake. The glossy sheen that Dave has achieved with this

is just stunning. It has a cosmic kind of quality to it. It's really quite beautiful. The hue of orange, the hue of blue. I love the interplay. It's just a lovely-looking cake. And they showed it for about a second and a half. I would have stared at this thing. It looked like the food that they imagine in Hook.

It was like all colors and the dishes and stuff, but in a cake form. Alas, we didn't get to see it it looked like a celestial body but inside is fondant and and butter creams and lovely it just was beautiful i can't say enough about it but somehow he had no problem achieving all these different colors but pink is is a bridge too far bridge too far hey i can i do a meanwhile no because I really quickly want to drill down on Isaac's reaction to it. Oh, yeah, he liked it. He had an Eric Bigger moment from The Bachelor.

He goes, Dave, that shit's fire. Jordan, your outfit. Deep cut. So dinner was, yeah, go ahead. Oh, yeah, after dinner, the goofy sister uh lets the crew know that uh the fam's ready to turn it up yeah 67 pots on the meal by the way cake saves oh yeah cake saves uh so we get ready for this fucking lit stripper party um but before we get there which is going to be nowhere nowhere um we get a little c-red history with reed now

nick you know it's a common trope of people from wisconsin they love their cheese and they love their alcohol right i think that alabamans could put wisconsinites to shame with their drinking is that is that a tough call i mean i don't know i don't know because there's also like there's dry counties and stuff in alabama nara dry county in wisconsin really yeah and and it's breweries are like what a lot of the cities are based off of college towns which you do have in alabama but i'd be willing to bet uh much more alcoholism is is there a um do you have abc places in wisconsin what does that mean it's like uh you can't like in in in craig county you can't go buy liquor at pine top like the local place well on sunday no all the time oh you you have to get your liquor at a different place yeah that's a thing in

uh that's not in wisconsin but in min Minnesota you can only get it from a liquor store, and you can't buy it on Sundays, although that may have changed since I went. But we are only 20 minutes from Wisconsin border. We drive over to Hudson on Sundays for football. Hey, guys, people are struggling, okay? Can we open up a little booze on Sunday? What if somebody needs it?

There's football on Sunday. That's the day of Jesus, though. Yeah. Aaron Rodgers you talking about? Jesus didn't have a problem with people. Fuckers two and four, man. He's not close to God at all. Okay, so we get ready for the stripper party.

Oh, like I said, the C-Rat history. Read. Gives us a little insight into his fraternity days. I think we did a great bit kind of summarizing what pro-frap-pro culture is like on Bad TV. With our Winterhouse recap, Craig and Corey are vomit-inducing. But with Reed, he recounts a bout of drunkenness that went 69 days long. He stayed drunk for 69 days. I'm sure him and his frat brother's got a big

kick out of that cutoff. But then he says that he had to sell some of his stocks to pay for his bar tabs. Kill me. And then says that he can't say the reason for why he did stay drunk for that long. Because his mom would kill him

the reason is why your mom would kill you not staying drunk for over two months straight andy no more reed no more reed i like when pat looks at the camera uh he is something you sneak you sneak you'll do look sometimes i'm editing i see it's very funny but uh i don't believe this reed was not drunk for 69 days i bet he like cracked a beer in the morning he's like 37 no you are not joe dimaggio you're a fucking liar right yeah yeah i'm out on reed too by the way yeah i didn't like i didn't like this story i don't trust it any further i can throw him you're no cal ripken you just fucking drink every day you're no ac green yeah read so you're no brett farve um the party like we mentioned is who's the hockey guy not as lit as they would like to think they spin around the pole twice before leela's dad tells her not to

look like a whore they've got a business to protect. Everyone has a lay down and now we've got a decision to make. The girls went 20 hours without a break and Tosh has got to probably replace Kyle, but we'll figure that out the next morning. Yell it next morning. Natalia, you're not Keith Yandel. Natalia wakes to is read. You're not Keith Yandel going to be the title for this episode? I'm not sure. So Natalia wakes after three hours of sleep and the gods have smiled upon them.

The weather has cleared. So these fucking rat human beings can stop complaining. For three hours. For three hours. While Tosh is plotting Kyleyle's demise he is dreaming of cock and as so often happens in our dreams something from the waking world brings us back and there seems to be some type of bridge dave has made him a boiled sausage oh yes, yes, yes, yes. But that wasn't in his dream. The cock was. Oh.

Did I need to clarify that? No. So she and Sandy, what? Is it the morning? Yes. Oh, last night they did a conga line, which I believe was support for Kathy Hilton. Absolutely.

Kathy Hilton stands. They are. Maybe they get a point uh bump up in our book so uh natasha and sandy come to the decision that kyle needs to be replaced um and then the boat heads out storm storms he says that every minute these guests aren't in the water is gonna feel like 10 it's a conception people could fucking die out there if we don't you know get them on these uh skidoos so we jump in the water and storm uh says ah that was a 10 out of 10 and courtney begins showering off the guests after their aquatic fun i don't know that i've ever seen this on this show maybe i've just

not paid attention to it this made me extremely uncomfortable you're talking about the uh the hose as they come out of the water yeah people do that uh elon musk did it uh that other rich guy just a couple months ago picture went viral you guys remember that no was that when he's fat yeah someone was holding hosing elon musk or elon musk is hosing so would you let someone who was working the boat shower you off yeah if i'm paying that much money oh god that would make me feel so weird so speaking of weird natalia says that she wants to make love to storm she said that i didn't catch that yeah but also like no way that can't happen that that's just like uh natasha um who is out as

my tv girlfriend by the way yeah yeah uh it's just like natalia who's always my tv girlfriend eliza from bachelor in paradise she's in but uh like oh she's like oh i would have made love to you like a million times but unfortunately we only have one charter left and it's never going to happen, Storm. It's just, it's defying the laws of the C-Ret universe that we're in, you know? So because they only have so little time left that even though she wished it could happen, there's not enough time. Is that how that was framed, Nick?

I remember saying it. Well, yeah. Well, let me kind of... It was Ari Emanuel hosing off Elon Musk. Got it. Well, yeah. Well, let me kind of. It was Ari Emanuel hosing off Elon Musk. Got it. Okay, great. So let me put it to the this way. Did Keanu and Sandy have time to fuck on that bus?

Someone could have driven the bus. Yes. Okay. The answer is no. There wasn't enough time. Okay, well, the answer's no. There wasn't enough time. There were like five people on that bus. All right, so. Drive, take the wheel.

Then we get to Tosh telling Kyle the bad news. His love and passion and being with Natasha being the second thing he loves most in life are about to be ripped away from him, so this is really hard on him. But the good news is you made it all all the way to the end pretty much and got a tip for laying in bed and dreaming of dick so look on the bright side uh speaking of tip pat let's get to it babe all right uh they seem happy with it but given the circumstances uh 18 grand $1,600 each. They never left the dock. It seems like it was a little easier on the deckies as opposed to interior. I think that's unfair that they have to put it up evenly,

given that the deckies didn't have to do much work. Reasonable tip, given the circumstances. Yeah. Envelope looked perilously thin. Well, that's what Sandy... I was a little scared there. Yeah. Shevelope looked perilously thin. Well, that's what Sandy, I thought I was a little scared there. She said, it looks a little light.

She looks like we had, you know, 12 grand in there or something, but IOUs. Yeah, exactly. Kyle is going to be salaried still. He's just going to be chilling in one of the beautiful hotels of Malta while the crew finishes up charter number two,

or what are you saying? Dylan, he's not last charter. And he's not fired. They're just forcing him to get off the boat, and he doesn't get paid for the last three days, and he has to leave immediately, and they're going to have someone else fill his position, but he is not fired.

So I'm wondering, how are they going to end this episode with a bang, right? No one's going out, and it looks like the episode's going to end with the existential questions surrounding Natasha's emotional state. Are you kidding me, Bravo? Get the fuck out of here. Who cares?

But alas, we do end with a soft goodbye. Kyle leaves the boat. He weeps. He is waltzing away from his neighbor, he says, and we move on to him bidding everyone adieu and sailing away into the multi-sunset that's the

episode it's almost like it didn't need to exist you know didn't but we had a ton of fun with it i feel like that first 10 minutes on kyle falling was some of the best stuff we've ever done if you think so jump in the itunes ratings and reviews if you don't think so jump in the itunes ratings reviews leave five stars kind words join us on patreon Patreon for Love is Blind. Join us on Bad TV for Winter House and the Real Housewives reunions and whatever we're going to do next. Also join us for another podcast show. We're going to talk about a lot of funny stuff this week.

So jump over there. A lot of stuff. Pick what you want. Eat it all. Listen to it all. We love you guys very much for supporting us. I'm Dylan saying goodbye Nick say goodbye

bon voyage Pat say goodbye bye guys