Kill James Bond! - Lancing Gary | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S3 E9

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to talk Nick's night with the cast of Below Deck at Marcos' restaurants, compliments on leather, the depravity of Captain Glenn, the dangers of sailing, how to lance Gary and even more Below Deck Sailing Yacht. Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Down Under, Below Deck Sailing Yacht seasons 1 & 2 AND Love is Blind Season 2.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetworkVideo of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw?sub_confirmation=1Merch: AnotherMerchStore.comGo to MagicMind.co and use promo code GLENN for 25% OFF

he chucks his hands up and says we don't have to sail that's fine it's fine but fear not they land on a brilliant idea get the sails up while the guests are eating breakfast Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Sailing Yacht Podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys! Pat producer of the podcast is over there behind my glasses. Permission to come aboard. Permission granted. Got a couple PSAs to knock out of the way. One, I just want to warn you two and the audience, I'm a

little too stoned right now. Oh, okay. I took a piece of chocolate, bit off a bit more than I could chew while I was writing my notes, so I may get a little wonky tonight. I'm wearing pajamas. I feel pretty cash right now. Been there, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, not as casual as you. I've been as high as

you are right now. It's not good. Well, we'll see. Could be a lot of fun. But PSA 2, Nick had a magnificent night out last week. Should we cover any highlights from Marcos' pop-up? Oh, it was a pop-up. No. See?

Too high. He's partner in a downtown restaurant, Marlou Downtown LA. What kind of food? I assume it's South American fare. Can we talk about like at lunch? Can I kind of segue into it? I want to look over my notes before. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So sorry, bad hosting. But no, it's okay. We just didn't talk about it. But I do have like, I would like to kind of recap my night a little bit. I mixed it up with some sea rats. I had some other food. It was fun. Not a PSA, but a tease. Stay tuned for that. Pat pat do you have any before we move on yes i do really quickly uh my psa i hope this person is trolling us and they just like to get a rise out of me i will give my

full uh uh uh rebuttal to this particular piece of crap after someone wrote it after we've been putting out all these great shows like basically great shows for five years but we've been doing amazing work especially yeah yeah really uh someone some loser had to gall to fucking write this he says uh join uh to listen to that erica and chuck interview one star but the whining and sniveling about any anyone else dare to not do a Below Deck podcast while constantly begging for five bucks a month to listen to their take on Below Deck Under was just getting unlistenable. Don't need to show me the door.

I've already unsubscribed. Okay, piece of shit. Let me say this to you. Are you okay with him airing this right now? Because I feel like it's very negative. I'm totally fine with it. I want to hear what he has to say to this piece of shit. Oh, well, you're going to have to go over to APS to hear my full rebuttal of this dick fuck. Hey, dude,

if you are still listening, and most of you do, to see if I'll talk about you, well, you got me. But on our other platform, another podcast show. We are recording eight shows a week, you prick. And that means watching like five shows and then recording eight shows. That's 13 hours a week. Do you work for free, you

asshole? What fucking factory do you work where you don't ask for any money you sir and i'm getting all jacked up i gotta have to bleep that because it was just a little too intense but listen what that was was a plea to treat your fave podcasters even podcasters you don't like very much nice and also go to our free feed called another podcast show it's a great show where we talk about really whatever is at top of mind and also please give us five dollars at patreon.com slash another podcast network where there is below deck dan i'm the hot captain pizza rat shitty chef let's get into the episode pat thoughts and knots let's let nick go for it okay uh pretty shitty episode um they're just like kind of teasing this meltdown from gabriella which i feel like is going to be a

little bit of a letdown in and of itself i mean other than that we have arguments over sailing uh which is shocking on below deck sailing yacht i i honestly i i want it to be good i do want to be good and that's why i'm going to give it a generous 72 knots interesting doesn't really make sense but 72 knots all right so this this episode had two two things one it was as nick pointed out it was about sailing and you know glenn wanting to sail and the other one was gabby and the slow kind of emotional uh weight on her should Should she stay? Should she go? By the way, I want to say to Gabby's credit.

Should I stay or should I go? I don't think she'd be upset that I'm sharing this with the audience, but I consider her friend. And she wrote, she said, look, guys, I'm going to be acting like an idiot pretty soon, so feel free to let me have it. Yeah, we didn't need that text from Gabby. We're going to do it anyways.

But Gabby did have a tough night. How many pots do you give it hold on i want to talk to glenn right now oh my god glenn i'm talking to you let's be honest this whole sailing business is for you and not anybody else okay do you remember the show breaking bad with walt walt the entire eight seasons of that show made the case answer oh you going to let us answer? Oh, yeah. Go ahead. Have you ever heard of it? No. It's a big show. You should watch it. Binge it or something.

Say it again. Walking, Breaking Bad. Oh, yeah. I've heard of it. Oh, okay. So this character, Walt, he makes the whole case on the series that what he's doing, all the carnage and blood and all the horrible things that happen with making trucker meth was because he wanted to do it for his family. And only in the tail end, the last episode,

does Walt admit to his wife, no, I did all this for me. Glenn, you're Walt. Yeah. I'm going to be honest with you guys. I pretended that I didn't know what Breaking Bad was, and I really, and I had to lie to you guys, or admit it because I love your analogy so much. He's a selfish man with a need for speed.

Yeah, Glenn's going to die clutching a bag of blue meth that he's perfected over the past however many years that show ran. Pat, what are your pots? 40. Okay. I like tonight's episode quite a bit. We'll have plenty to comment on with Gabby. plenty to comment on with gabby um but i liked it because the negligent dangerous behavior from glenn is on full display and i find it to be actually really super funny um and also we got to

kind of get to know the weird one a little bit more tonight a little bit more weird one creeping into the show i think she's a lovely character. And quick final PSA, we will be speaking to the weird one later this week. We're going to interview her tomorrow. It's going to be pretty weird when I point out that you two call her the weird one behind her back. Yeah.

Okay, so 50 pods. I'm going to have to admit for my transgressions and my transgressions only, evidently. So last we left off gabby was imploding and captain glenn was attempting to shatter the triple uh pain door of parsnips so that the guests could sail and as pat mentioned so that he could feel um gary pays the price for this his finger is seemingly pulverized and he seems to be in quite a bit of pain um he's screaming the cabinets are flying open fire extinguishers are exploding out of them the guests are on the verge of throwing up but listen you know if we can save an innocent sex

worker's life in this moment i think it's a fair price to pay he has to get his zoomies out somehow it's funny you point that out so you uh you just laid out all the different cuts they had to knives flying out of drawers meanwhile what you didn't catch he did a little quick shot of glenn his dick was hard that man was aroused and not just at the boat and things flying around. I think he liked the shrieking of Gary. Right. Sick puppy, this guy. Sick puppy. So the weird one attempts to comfort Gary with a hug.

Daisy's more tough love, though. She says it's customary to get your fingers smashed and yawning. And I was like, yeah, but what happened, though? Because he's really screaming, and his hand was shaking when he was trying to put in a nice, so are we okay here? We will come to find that, yes, he's alright. One thing that was weird was it was the stupidest thing I ever heard. Glenn, you're starting

to fall out of my favor, sir. Glenn checks with Colin to see if the sliding doors are bolted. That would have been something we should have discussed before sailing, Glenn? Okay, you want to be fake Captain Lee territory? The cameras, chicks in your DMs?

Shut up. That is so unfair. And dare I say uncouth. God damn it, Patrick. Nick, go ahead. Well, I vehemently disagree with Patrick just as much. It appeared he was reading something. I want to see where that thought went.

DMing, people DMing, captivating. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, you get on television, then you start wearing rattlesnake boots and posting pictures on Instagram with your dead 72-year-old body. When you're definitely getting testosterone replacement therapy because you should not have that physique at that age. It was a nice physique, I will say. Well, all he eats is ass, though.

It's a pretty calorie-deficient diet. It's genius, actually. He just tucks into ass all the time. It's really his only sustenance. How do you think he bulks? Because, I mean, he's definitely adding mass. And also... Such a good question.

I felt like Gary was, I mean, being a little bit of a drama queen. I don't doubt that it was painful, but be like a stoic, like Colin would just went, it hurts, and he would have like went about his day. Whereas Gary had to like run through the boat telling everybody what happened to him. He's a drama queen. Right, right. Is there a lot of throat clearing going on?

Are there gummy throats right now? Well, I was trying to do a gruff voice for Colin. It was mixed with a little throat farty, but I don't think I have to clear. I can't wait to see what the sea dog was like in person, Nicky. Yeah, I'm excited to get there too. But first, Gabby continues to be

melodramatic about dropping a tray of glasses and sights. And the note ends there. I told you I got too high. Let me tell you what she should cite nick you pointed this out and i never thought about it before gabby's all like uh you know all the time that she seems like she's unstable and insecure and starts getting paranoid and filled with anxiety is after a night of drinking i had no idea those are some of the symptoms of being hung over oh

yeah anxiousness yeah uh there was someone last uh lloyd lloyd was blaming uh his his heavy binge drinking and anxiety attacks on uh oh no he was his hangovers he was blaming on anxiety attacks but it did seem to have a correlation with the drink lay off the sauce gabby all your problems will be solved oh yeah and it's just i'm reminded every episode at least once every episode what a disgusting horrible work environment this would be and it's on display when these sea rats have to convoy confide in the people that they have to confide in lloyd going up to captain sandy and having a nervous breakdown almost crying and she's just looking at him like you know what are we doing here pal and gabby's

going around to freaking ashley and the weird one the weird one was very comforting she was very comforting she's the only person she should have gone to but also marcus these people hate you it just sucks that you have to confide in them anyways moving on um so gabby talking with marcos trying to chat about behavior no it's more that gary is really taking out all of his pain on the weird one here he's yelling at her and i just thought you know leave her alone don't speak to her that way you punk ass bitch she's the weird one she's the greatest person on this boat was this the game of uh who's on first with the chain thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, she doesn't pick up the sarcasm when he says, come sit in my lap.

Again, a little overtly sexual from Gary, but he's in a lot of pain. So I guess we'll give him a break on that. The guests say that the dolphins they see off starboard and or port are aliens. And I think they got that wrong. Dolphins are uh aliens and i think they got that wrong dolphins are not aliens they are cute um unless a pod of them are throwing vicious body shots into the body of a killer whale nick's favorite kind of strike what i do i do i do i do how are you good i do love body shots no doubt about that but i will say we shouldn't just scoff at this lady's theory that they're alien type creatures i mean it really depends on how you define alien we've talked many times how we don't know the mysteries mysteries of the ocean it's really we know more

about space nicky yes it's nearly just as vast as space and i i don't think it would be too much to call these creatures extraterrestrial i think that's a myth or subterrestrial yes that we know more about space than we know the ocean. Well, how many times have we been to the bottom of the Tariana's Trench? How the fuck do you say that? Tariana's Trench. Jimmy Cam's went down there, but aside from that. Exactly.

I own that documentary. What documentary? He made a documentary about going down there. Jimmy Cam's? Yeah. Cameron. James Cameron. He's just the patron saint.

And it was called Alien to the Deep. Just live and then make content. That's what we do. He's like a vlogger. All right. One of those Avatar movies coming out. He's been making them for like eight years. They were supposed to get the second one, the second Ferngully.

Yeah. I thought they were filming like two through seven at the same time or something. That's always a bad idea. They did that with Back to the Future. That didn't work out. Is that true? Two and three were made together. Well, two is delightful.

I can't stand that one. All right. So more Gabby moping. She continues confiding in people who currently hate her. I don't think most on the boat do dislike her, but she selected ashley and marcos to talk to for reasons that freud would probably have fun with but she tells marcos i don't want to quit and his response is essentially can you leave please i have to cook a meal for a vegan yeah yeah i mean the reality is is she's really she's in her head too much here yeah she's got a thing going with ashley

that's pretty common as you know the sea rat on sea rat crime fighting over some dick or something right right right right and then marcos everyone always fights with the chef i mean what's what gives here yeah there's nothing going on it's just a regular charter or season uh in this industry but tonight we do have blood we finally see the true damage of Gary's Fingler. Yikes. Dead nail. I've had this happen to me before. Did it to my big toe in the door of an Azuzu trooper at Village Market.

This man loves buying wholesale. I don't get it. You had an Azuzu trooper? You were at where? Village Market's the place where they filmed larry david buying the uh cashew and raisin pack that david schwimmer's dad uh had and uh he gives him shit for there not being enough raisins in it but despite that i mean this is a pretty

significant injury i mean the nail will fall off in due time but this is not an injury that really gets glenn moving he's no longer engorged. He's calmed down. But once again, he ratchets right back up when he tells the tale of his friend almost dying. You want to cover that? I forget it, but the man loves blood. So the man was, you want to cover that? Yeah.

I mean, Gary's bitching about his finger getting smashed. Glenn saw the same doors. The man crushed his skull. Oh, that's right. Never should have lived. They lanced it or something. He bled out, and he's fine. Still lives to stay.

A little off, but, you know, that's fucking. Yeah, he's a little wonky, but. Glenn was there to see it, too. Glenn, you nearly made it on a 48-hour mystery there, pal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, nearly. They didn't catch it. But what did happen was Glenn slammed that man's head in the door exactly but it was like a really thing like they just had like a brief moment where him and that other guy were alone that guy walks in and glenn just like

like just a demon child who's just like causing accidents every turn just quickly through it and smashed him he's like help help he starts calling on the radio doing all the protocol yeah and then he wakes up a week later and he's like what happened and gl He's like, help, help. He starts calling on the radio, doing all the protocol. Yeah, and then he wakes up a week later, and he's like, what happened? And Glenn's like, we healed. All right, so we have to get to lunch. Nick? But before we do. But before we do, let's take a quick break.

Do you hear about Nick's night at, what's it called? Marlou. Marlou. Downtown LA. Downtown LA. Yes, Marlou, a wonderful Italian fusion restaurant with elements of Korean and Venezuelan. Wow.

Infused by both Marcos and his partner. Who's obviously Korean. Who is obviously. Here's the pitch to the investors. Ready? You're the investor. What are you guys going to do here? How are you doing, investor?

I'm doing wonderful. What are you going to do with my money if I give it to you? Three words. Italian. Korean. Venezuelan. Fusion. Am I ever going to see my money?

Check, please. World-class improv. Nick, how was the night? It was fantastic. night it was fantastic so it was uh just on the i didn't go here just for any reason i went of course because uh they were advertising sort of meet and greet with a couple of sea rats actually just one of the sea rats daisy was advertised a number of our baby barnacles and our facebook group said you guys gotta go you guys gotta check it out it's in la i was like i'm gonna do my due diligence uh we finished the night of recording finished about uh 9 p.m uh i had to go from north hollywood

to downtown place said it closed at 10 i was undeterred if i got 10 minutes of face time i felt like i did my duty yeah uh we get down there at 9 50 but the place is jumping i was gonna say i was gonna say that but it's enough people to keep it open later than 10 right uh we walk in for two we get seated and we they take us back together the meet and greet there's all these handshakes pictures gary gary uh not gary colin say dog daisy and people kept saying courtney was there courtney was there and i was of course was looking for courtney skip on uh from uh i don't know which Below Deck season. And they were talking about Courtney the other one from Below Deck Med.

I don't know which season. No clue. She was blonde, pretty hardworking. She cried a couple times. No clue. She was like Australian or something. Okay. She was there.

I never saw her because I didn't know who I was looking for. Oh, the little mousy one. I know her. Now. Yeah. She didn't have that much of an accent, but if that's what you're. Yeah, she was like a little mousy one. I think he's right.

Yeah. I think you're thinking about Izzy. She loved getting wasted. She thought she could twerk, and she was bad. Oh, she was Lexi. She was on Lexi's season. She thought she was Z's friend. She thought she could twerk.

Oh, her. She was really bad at twerking. Oh, no. I'm thinking of a different one, but it's. It doesn't matter. Z's friend. She thought she could twerk. Oh, her. She was really bad at twerking. Oh, no. I'm thinking of a different one. But it's... It doesn't matter. It doesn't. He really wants to get done at 10.15.

I'm pretty excited about my review of Marlou LA. I really need him to know who this Courtney is. I just feel like I can't move on. Courtney and Z from Below Deck Med. I'll find a picture for you real quick. Why don't you keep going with your review and I'll look up the picture of Courtney. There she is. Boom, found her.

Oh, there's Courtney. Now we can move on. Now we can move on. So we got seated in the back. But who was I thinking about? I don't know. The little mousy one. Fuck, I don't know.

I will look it up later, though. We got to figure this out. No, no, no. So we seat in the back. We didn't really know if we were going to eat or get drinks. They said it was last call right as they were sitting. I was like, I don't know. But then Marcos walks by a little later. We hadn't quite talked to him, but I was like, they said it was last call.

He's like, oh, no, that's for food only. Drinks can go until 2. And he winked at me as he walked by. Oh, nice. Very Venezuelan. Yeah, very, very, no, that's for food only. Drinks from GoTel 2. And he winked at me as he walked by. Very Venezuelan. Yeah, very, very sexy. Did you say my friend thinks you're a hitman? Now, how do you approach?

I said, I think you're a hitman. How do you approach kind of like, you know. Interacting with the SeaDutch? Interacting, but also saying that you have a podcast. Because that's a very choogy Los Angeles thing to say. Something that I would really never want to say ever I chose to watch Married at First Sight then go I had an obligation I have too many obligations

I'll talk about that on another podcast show but Nick was in the position to go and he carried the mantle for us yeah I'll get to that part when I start talking to him but first we're seated in the back the scuttlebucks are up front. Since I did go, I got my reviews, and I'm going to go through it. I got all these notes about it.

We got seated in the back, and we got their drink menu. They had a special section from the yacht that Daisy informed us later that her friends made. Oh, wow. It included the Gaze, which was tequila, triple sec, and lime. Terrible name. Sparkles topped with mermaid fart. Sparkling...

Is that the loudest plane we've ever had fly over us? Doors are open. They are getting lower. We're going to war, China. We're going to war. Sparkles topped with mermaid fart. That's sparkling chumbard and strawberry. Another really good name for a cocktail that was the first one i ordered of course they were out of mermaid farts you can't

just get those anywhere uh and then they the third one was the hot tub regrets uh gin tonic water cucumber and lime that was the first one i had it was a pretty apt name it tasted like dishwater wait wait wait so let me get this straight they had a custom cocktail that was gin tonic water and cucumber and lime but they're evidently not including whatever ingredient was that made it taste like dishwater what kind of mixologist was and i want you they're whipping up these willy wonka no one i know it's fucking absurd the names though also a poor job daisy's friend the mechanic on parsnips i will say this is not to disparage it because the rest of it was wonderful but the the the signature from the yacht cocktail

menu i don't think it's a permanent uh fixture but i would avoid it if you do, in fact, visit. I, of course, ordered the spicy Korean chicken and it was sold out. So then I moved on and I got the- You're selling the shit out of this restaurant. I'm just telling you what happened. So then I got the ganache with bone marrow. Oh, a delicious, delicious ganache. I would say, God damn it. Where is this? Yeah. Does he mean gnocchi? I do. It's gnocchi. It was a little joke, but I did order it like that. He doesn't mean gnocchi.

Gnocchi. He doesn't. Gnocchi. I meant gnocchi. But it had bone marrow. It was Duanjiang cream sauce, microgreens. Does he mean gnocchi? Fresh grated Parmesan that was rich and savory. It was quite delicious. We got the four drinks. Did you ask how long the Parmesan was aged for?

No. Then we got through the gazey, and I was lubed up to go talk to these sea rats. Sure. As I was getting ready, Marcos and Colin went to the bathroom together. It was a little suspicious. You'd think they were doing coke, but why wouldn't you just go to the kitchen to do coke?

Well, staff will see you. That's true. Yeah, they went to the bathroom together. And then as they're walking out one by one, Jules asked the waitress if we could talk to the chef. And Marcos came over, sat down. We just had a nice talk, said we loved the show. I finally said I have a podcast. He said, oh, we need to talk later.

And then he had to go continue to entertain. Then Colin comes back. We have a real good talk. He really goes off about Erica and Simple Chuck. He's like, that's not fake at all. We fucking hate them. He also said he's as crazy as anyone on the boat. He doesn't know what he did to have production shine this light on him and protect him like at all costs

which was a nice little uh tidbit he's like i'm i'm batshit like the rest of them we're all fucking crazy that's just c-dog dogging all right i bet he's not yeah uh and then uh so we talked to him for a while he was great told him we had a says, like, there's a bunch of producers here. He doesn't want to point out which ones exactly. But they're kind of supervising over us. Then some old white lady comes and sits down. And she says she's Colin's lawyer. And with what he just told us, I'm, like, convinced this is some producer.

And then that lady got up. And she was just some drunk lady. Colin didn't even know who that woman was. Oh, wow. I was trying to be really nice to her. And then we got up and I had been playing pranks on Jules.

I went with Jules. She has an Yves Saint Laurent coat. Yeah. And she spent an exorbitant amount of money on it. We got,

she got complimented out in public recently by some You need those. really cool, large black man. He was, he was,

and Simon Nig nigel very important black guys are normally cool he complimented that means that that compliment holds more weight just uh for context nick's referring to a fan that reached out to nick uh asking why he needed to refer to color or ethnicity when uh uh describing someone in a story he's telling yes right uh oh that's what that was yeah is his his name is simon nigel yeah wow he also said to you like why do you have to say the flight attendant was a sassy gay oh yeah yeah yeah but um i was just gonna gloss over inside joke for just for uh nigel but uh so he compliments uh jules's coat and i i yelled back at him this is just on the street i was like you have no idea how much that means to her we had a big laugh it was the best

day of her life right so then we're sitting at the bar she's lived a tough life and i'm sitting next to uh another uh black gentleman who also looks very cool he's dreads he looks cool we're talking he's like yeah i just am up at the hotel he's like i came down here and evidently there's celebrities around me and shit. He's like, I don't even know where I am. So we were drinking. We have a good time. I was like, I'll buy your next round if you tell Jules that you like her coat.

He waits 10 minutes. He tells her he likes her coat. Hilarious big laugh. I eventually broke it to her. Then she plays a prank on me. So I'm talking to this guy, and I'm keeping my hand on Jules' back and rubbing it, because she's talking to some 60-year-old man who's been bragging about DMing Daisy every day. It turns out he's a widower.

He's a little creepy. Sounds like our fans. Yeah, but honestly, the guy seemed really nice, and he has money. He bought a Maserati, but he's definitely very lonely at this moment. I didn't trust him not to kill Jules. So I'm touching her shoulder. I'm talking to this black guy, not turning you know guys know who i am i'm laser focused when i'm in a conversation and uh so then i feel a rub on my shoulder i assume it's jules it goes on for like five minutes i'm deep in this conversation and then finally i turn around it was daisy rubbing

my shoulder for like three straight minutes we played a a prank on him. We talked with Daisy for a while. She's really passionate about mental health. I forgot to ask her if she's fucked Gary. I should have asked her that. She wondered why Bravo didn't talk to us for so long. And we're like, I don't know if we were big enough or they thought we were too. She's like, oh, no, I went on a podcast with 50 people. They said it was cool.

So I don't know what they had against us. But we're finally in. And we drank for a while. We good time they got pulled away oh i saw one of the executive producers i told her she she has made an institution i think that executive producer is fucking marcos yeah the place was lovely i give it a 9.5 would recommend anybody who's in downtown la to go to marlowe oh also out on the street i met the other uh chef lewis who never introduced himself as a chef i could just tell the way he was like mingling that he's a chef and smoking and i said i said that to him uh and uh that we talked to him for like 25 minutes and we were what he follows me now we welcome back to open ours he he got his waiter to fetch me a beer as we were waiting for

our uh uber out on the street it was awesome that was probably the highlight so you had a great night yeah it was a great night now at the risk of getting Nick upset oh you're gonna okay do you think that took too long how long do you think it took it's because it's because normally we'd have a conversation you asked me questions but I can feel the eyes and the weight of you guys wanting to get out of here. But then also staunch refusal not to cut my story straight and fight through. So, yeah, I think it was actually a little bit short, if I'm going to be honest. All right, let's take a quick break to talk about Magic Mind.

It is a once daily elixir for your brain. It is the anti-procrastination drug. Nick, why do you love Magic Mind so god damn much? I don't want to talk about it. Okay, so guys, go to magicmind.co and enter in promo code GLENN to get 25% off and free shipping. It has

lion's mane and echinacea and matcha and nine other magical ingredients that will give you zen hum throughout your day how's your feud with your nannies going well we just lost another one today rose is out the fucking door yeah she got another gig i think she's starting a company or one of those uh a tech startup or something like that yeah yeah the magic mind is just going to stay out here in the pad cave No more being left in the refrigerator. I think that's a really, really good idea.

So go to magicmine.co and enter in promo code GLENT to get 25% off and free shipping. See, you guys are too singular in your goals to get through this review. What I want to do is really bring the full below deck experience to the listeners who may not be afforded the opportunity like us to mix it up and just be peers with these people really see how they are in real life and that's what that's the explanation i was i was giving to them right right there's look at this cool black guy that complimented jules's coat simon nigel and now no no no no oh that was the that was the uh the guy that you were talking to yeah yeah yeah oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, he's tight. He started a trucking company. I'm really rooting for him. Okay. Let's get to lunch.

He's two years away from Elon Musk making it so you don't need any drivers. You know what I mean? Yeah, make hay while the sun shines. You got to make hay while the sun shines. Let's get to lunch. Cooking for a vegan often looks like this. Chefs will load up on two things

that are vegan friendly and the rest of the party just gets to eat normal things. Kind of disappointed in Marcos. I think he's better than this, but it is lunch. We've got salmon, chicken, grilled vegetables, and couscous salad. Sandra Lee could have whipped this up shit-faced on Smirnoff, but again, it's lunch. 52 pots.

Let's move on. Gary and Daisy sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G? R-A-R. Oh, no. F-L-I-R-T-I-N-G. Oh, flirting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

See, I knew I could kick to you for that because I have written Gary and Daisy sitting in a tree, bird feeding each other, used coleslaw. And it doesn't roll off the tongue the same way. B-I-R-D-F-E-E-D-I-N-G-E-A-C-H-O-T-H-E-R-C-O-L-E-S-L-A-W. Ashley says you guys should just fuck already. And I feel like Ashley could hurt Daisy. Kind of gouge her eyeballs out a little bit. Actually, really scares me. I call, we have a new rat on this boat.

It's called a sea snake. Not a sea, I'm sorry, yeah. What? We have a new sea animal. A new sea animal. She's not just a sea rat, she's a sea snake. Oh, okay. Yeah, she's a sea snake.

I don't know. Hey, Nick, you know what the most poisonous snakes in the world are? Black mamba? Sea snakes. Oh, that would have made more sense. Hey, can we get to... Turn off your context clue game. Can we get to heat a nail gate? I did want to say that I've always thought that sea rats all kind of have the transformative power

to turn into a snake hence the balls of snake right right uh ashley just it keeps the snake form well it's an interesting thing to broach because usually when you tattle on someone you're a rat but if you're already a sea rat you must transform into something even more biblically evil that is a sea snake so um we can really see glenn's depravity swine uh in this moment of the show he had mentioned that gary needed to stab himself so that glenn could watch him bleed slash relieve the pressure um but it's here where he pushes for it again sea dog says we've got nothing else to do. We might as well just fucking mutilate Gary. And he heads off to go melt a needle.

Gary might have done that, but it doesn't matter. So Glenn sits by with an engorged smile and watches the blood spill from his first mate. I thought this was actually pretty rad. Lansing Gary? Yeah. That sounds like a fan of the Michigan State Spartans.

Sounds like an episode title to me. You guys, first off, I don't watch Below Deck for gore. This was gross. I insist upon a 10-second warning, just like you're going to see some nudity or something like that or some violence. Put a little chyron up there saying the next 10 seconds might be pretty gross. I'll never understand why we can show our children gore, but not sex. Yeah.

It's such a silly, arbitrary thing that we've decided is okay in our culture. Violence is perfectly fine. It's actually funny in some. But let me say this. Not an areola, though. I want to. Celebrity death match when we were a child. I mean, what is that?

That's so brutal. That's a great point. The equalizer. Bravo. I want a 10 second uh little thing before i'm gonna see something gross uh case in point dr pimple popper right i'm sick of this bitch uh i'm eating my subway sandwich last week an ad for it comes on not the show because i hate the show i can't watch that stuff i'll throw up she's cutting a piece of skin the size of a fucking leg off this

guy's back yeah yeah i'm eating how about a heads up my question to those people is always um did you wake up today and it was like that how have you allowed it to get this big that's crazy size of a basketball your heads you're looking at the ground wow so this was like i said actually pretty rad sea dog nails the sea rat surgery and glenn gets the guests in the water before we head to dinner um as they are draining gary's nail the balsamic reduction spills over the squash that was brilliant editing from bra Production. So, tonight, Marcos is not just chucking vegetables on a grill, but rather

incorporating the sensorial experience of normal people cuisine onto the plate of a vegan. He's shaving tofu to mimic the garnish of aged parmesan. Does it work? No. Of course not. But he's trying.

Pizza Rat would have spit in her face and said the loogie doesn't have any animal products in it. You know, they're just two completely different people. Lucky for these guests, their chef is Marcos. He serves langoustine with radicchio and a white balsamic tarragon vinaigrette. The vegan gets beats. We then get the most boring game of two truths and a lie perhaps of all time before we get to lobster

tails with mashed potatoes and a seared squash to imitate a filet. I was going to suggest that we all play two truths and a lie but I guess I won't do that. Hey Nicky, just to go on record, I enjoyed your recap and story about the restaurant. Thank you.

I'm only being pouty for comedic purposes. I thank you guys for giving me the floor for that review. Here's two truths and a lie. I speak three languages. There it is, the lie. That's the lie. Yeah, I only started with that. I've known you for six years.

You would have thrown some of that language. I don't think we could play this game with each other. We know each other too well. Was this the dinner with the vegan fried chicken? No, we're going to get there. So these guests are fucking boring fuckers. But Marcos, what a valiant effort to mimic normalcy and make the vegan not feel like a freak.

Because sure, they're shirking hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, but you know what? We're evolved now. Cows cry tears too. There are brothers and sisters in this fight against the corporations. But man, what a dinner. 87 pots. This score may seem high, but it's kind of like scoring diving or skating.

You have to factor in degree of difficulty here. It's marvelous triple lutz from Marco. So we must move on. To begin, begin covering Gabby quite a bit for the remainder of the show. And that's fine. We like Gabby, but I wish this wasn't, I wish our storyline wasn't this slow game of mental Jenga, just piece by piece, and then all of a sudden we've got a large toppling over on the floor.

It's her storyline, and I feel like it's just a missed opportunity. If you believe the rags at all, what was going on behind the scenes is a lot more sinister than what we may be led to believe. What we're being fed on television is this idea of uh just a situation that didn't work out for any parties leading to an amicable partying but i don't think that's what it was i think this was a coup i think this is a coup against someone who blacked out and caused problems all the time yeah it happens it just

fucking does so um gabby's a lot more fun than this, but this boat is getting to her. She's behaving in a manner in which people are kind of driving people to sympathize with Ashley, which is a tall feat. I mean, she heads upstairs and feels snaky shit afoot. Well, she feels it because it's happening. Ashley is right on the cusp of talking shit about her. Though I think it was like a misstep for Gabby's mental health to confide in Ashley

and the shoulder to cry on. It did allume an awesome point when Ashley was going around the boat telling different people about the secret that Gabby confided in her that Gabby doesn't trust people. Right, right, right. The irony was getting hidden over the head with a frying pan.

This is when I knew she was a sea snake! Because Gabby did give her a sword to run her through. That is all true. But just because she gave her the sword doesn't mean you need to be a sea snake. Lay it down, sea snake. Gabby is told that she can have Ashley stay up past her bedtime.

And make sure to let Ashley know that. She's just very overbearing with the little threads of authority that she has. And when she sees Ashley washing dishes, she says, I was about to tell you to do that in a creepy crawly kind of way, and then make sure to announce her dominion over her. Now I get it. Ashley's a little asshole, but she's really ratcheting it up here. But, And Gabby's also at this point trying to say that she's in this mode of, I'm trying to do better. If you really don't

see how you're kind of needling your co-worker in this moment, that's an issue. You were fucking with her. You're like, hey, here's some rope. Oh, I'm going to pull it back. Here's some rope. I'm going to pull it back. She's giving her a noogie. She's giving her a noogie. She's giving her a freaking noogie. But like, ah, you're good at this. Alright, let's move on to pull it back. She's giving her a noogie. She's giving her a noogie. She's giving her a freaking noogie. But like, ah, you're good at this.

All right, let's move on to the next day. Oh, no. Oh, no. You missed a big one here, Dilly. Sorry. I can't wait to find out if this is terrible hosting. What did he miss? Well, everyone goes to bed except for the boys.

And we got Marcos, Gary, and the old sea dog. And the boys discuss the question that's been on all of America's mind. It's which orifice will Gary choose to stick his little drunken sea rat pecker in? The last time I was on the edge of my seat for a reveal on TV this big was when we all wondered who shot J.R. And if you know that reference, you are old.

I do. Do you know it? No, of course not. Dallas. The season ended with J.R., the main character in the tv show someone's shooting him and going down we wondered all sun summer who shot jr who shot him canceled uh it was some chicken i can't think of her name but it was it wasn't who you thought it could possibly be it was kind of random actually yeah have you seen yellowstone no supposed to be the new dallas is that right yeah i tried to watch two episodes i think my wife wants to fuck someone on the show because

she's always like hey we should watch yellowstone my ad's a little too slow for me yeah what about severance you guys watching severance nah i was just pitched severance pretty hard i think i might be starting severance uh with the significant other just uh because that's what you have to do you gotta kill time yeah i might not take, though, because you do not like very dark things. Oh, cool. And it is extremely scary. I'll be on my phone and look at our Patreon numbers. Okay.

How could you do that for longer than two minutes? Oh, I do. I just go back and forth. All right. Do some math. Extrapolate 12 months. Let's get to the next day. But before we do, let's take a quick break to talk about Rothies.

Guys, did you know that April is Earth Month? Yes. You did? I thought we were talking about the ultimate. It's April 20th, you dummy. It's been going on for like 30 years. Oh, that's Earth Day. Yeah.

Yeah. Also... Didn't they make you pick up garbage in school on Earth Day? Why are you so aggressive right now? Oh, I'm sorry. It's just something I know that you don't. You know what you need? A pair of Rothy's. Guys, these are eco-friendly, beautiful, beautiful shoes that you can get in honor of Earth Day.

I didn't know that Earth Day fell on the same day every year. I thought it was a rotating day. Yeah, dude. It's Earth Day. It's 420 that Earth Day fell on the same day every year. I thought it was a rotating day. Yeah, dude. It's Earth Day. It's 420. Smoke up. But guys, listen. Rotating day like the Earth Rotate was a pun.

Everything Rothy's makes is better for the planet. They've repurposed millions of water bottles into their signature thread that goes into all of their products. My favorite thing about Rothy'sies how freaking comfortable they are you're walking around on these things and you're going these are made of water bottles why are they so much more comfortable than any other shoe i've ever worn you're gonna have to do the research on your own wearing uh when you're wearing rothies your footprint feels lighter than ever and right now you will get 20 off your first purchase today at rothys.com

slash below deck that's r-o-t-h-y-s.com slash below deck fun fact did you know uh katrina and the waves uh rumor has they were wearing rothys when they they wrote i'm walking on sunshine is that right oh interesting because you mentioned the band name and you were like did you ever hear that they and then i was thinking well i don't know what they is so yeah i started that rumor and i just looked it up and i had to look up who sang that song i just learned it hey uh one thing i one uh thing of note for rothy's when you go into online and like shop for them they got like 10 000 different colors and styles on there, men and female. There's something for everybody and prices to fit all budgets. So go over there, buy a couple pair.

What's our promo code again? Below Deck Man. Yeah, that helps us out. Well, it's not Below Deck Man. It's just Below Deck. Below Deck, okay. All right, so the weird one the next morning. Next morning.

Is singing about being sweaty. So excited to talk to her. And then Glenn tells the guests that they're thinking of going into waters where you can actually do things in well of course so this would just be an awkward thing to hear from the captain um you know given the fact that you're paying a hefty sum of money for this experience glenn's like you know how the only thing that we could really do yesterday was heal so hard that your friend slammed her head against the wall and almost

threw up? We're thinking about doing a little bit better today. Are we being punked? You know, that kind of thing. So, a lot of goofy stuff. Crew's having fun, then a little tedium and a little meanwhile. Meanwhile. So the guests tell the crew

where they want to go and what to have on the boat. Not a big deal, but eh. Gabby and Marcos get into a tiff about platters, and it hit me like it does every episode, how horrible this line of work is. And then we get to Sea Rat's ratting,

I have written down, but it's really Sea Rat's snaking. she's a sea snake yeah yeah she goes around using uh gabby's name like it's her last name ashley beckons daisy via text and fucking rats said she wants to quit she doesn't trust anybody she doesn't want to drink anymore because she doesn't trust anybody that she works with. All nasty stuff. Sneeze, sea snake. Yeah, yeah. It struck me as a very, like, 23-year-old thing to do. You know what I mean? 23. Try

14. So Gabby is Ashley's sister though, you know, so if she could kill her, she would. The guests get back from swimming and the battle between Ashley and Gabby continues with awkward silences. I was going to say it's a little delayed, but Ashley and Daisy reminded me of Cassius and Brutus plotting to kill Caesar.

Oh, yeah, of course. The analogy doesn't work, though, because Daisy is kind of Caesar in this situation. Yeah, it's like if Cassius and Caesar were plotting to kill Brutus. Yeah. E2. No, no, no. It's like a cat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder how many people walk up to kill Brutus. Yeah. Yeah. E2? No, no, no. It's like a cat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I wonder how many people walk up to Daisy and say that. So Marcos is prepping for dinner. He's got a lot of passion for cooking, which is lovely. But there's this weird thing going on where they keep placing Seadog in the galley, and he just asks him what he's cooking. He is enthralled. So Marcos explains to the Seadog that the tofu is going to look like fried chicken. And the sea dog is like, this guy is a fucking wizard.

Oh, yeah. You walk around Santa Monica, you'll find that shit everywhere. That or just watch Travis Barker's What I Eat in a Day. His voice is very weak because of the diet and those fucking bitches and calabasas draining him of his life force. Start off with some tea. Yeah. I really like Nobu's Coconut Sorbet

or Crossroad Country Kitchens Chicken and Waffles. Then I have a little Barker tincture at night and then i go to nobo again it's such a great great series on youtube and they did delete kelly rippa's uh version because she said i i ate a shred of lettuce yeah she said i don't have any chewable food until uh two o'clock um and that she's not a monster. She eats a slice of cake on her birthday. But Harper's Bazaar did get a lot of penned letters that said they were glorifying anorexia.

But anyways, thoughts on this? Just that Marco said he got the recipe of the tofu fried chicken from the faraway land of West Hollywood. Yep. An ancient secret of the gays. Yeah. Yeah. Ancient secret of the gays.

Ancient secret of the gays. So dinner is served. Saffron, asparagus, risotto. The plates are licked clean. And then comes the Dover sole. I mean, this is just a sexy plate of food. It's classic French cooking. T tender flesh that releases the spine, and the fillets are placed back on board.

He fucking massacres it, though, with tomato sauce and clams, but I'm sure it was good. Dessert is citrusy, and I apologize for this dereliction of duty, but I missed it. I was trying to find out what Ashley was saying to the sea dog. Do you remember this? Did you guys catch this? I didn't. She whispers something about Gabby. She's just flaming

Gabby all over the place. She knows we're gonna see all this on television. Ashley's a little little asshole. Was it the thing she whispered? It was really quiet. Yeah, she's like, Gabby's... Gabby doesn't trust you. I gotta go serve this food. Little asshole. She's like, fire Gabby. All right.

So the gossip train keeps on rolling. Gabby confides in the perfect person to confide in, the weird one. She gives her the best advice out of anybody. Says, don't dwell on the negativity. You're freaking people out. And then, leave me alone. No, she's very sweet. All right.

So let's get to the next morning. Nick, yell it. Next morning! We've got more negligent and dangerous fucking behavior from Captain Glenn. His only flaw outside of the bloodshed. And this actually gets pretty catty-daddy. So first, he asks Days...

Hold it. Didn't expect that. If you don't think I'm not going to get us five cases of free cloth. Will you sit down and fucking podcast? I mean, my God. You're the one who has to get out of here at a quarter after 10. God. You don't think that's crazy, though?

That is crazy. I'm calling White Claw. All right. So, Glenn asks Daisy, when can you go? We got to sail. She says 20 minutes, but he hears 15 and then tells Daisy in front of the guests, we can sail right when we get out of this little marina area. What are you going to do, huh?

And then you can see a glimpse of the evil that so many have seen. For brief moments. For brief moments, and they've never lived to tell the tale. But he chucks his hands up and says, we don't have to sail. That's fine. That's fine. But fear not, they land on a brilliant idea. Get the sails up while the guests are eating breakfast.

they land on a brilliant idea. Get the sails up while the guests are eating breakfast. And this is pure fucking insanity. The glasses are once again grenades, and there is a charter guest literally hanging on to the jacuzzi for dear fucking life. We will post this photo. I took a screen grab of it. She is holding on for dear life uh at some point i cannot believe the gall of captain

glenn shit starts flying everywhere and also a charter guest hanging on for dear life with a jacuzzi glenn uh asked colin and i quote what the hell was that it's knives glenn so it's sharp and heavy objects hurling themselves through the air we've had two glenn moments here post sales going up that are just so mind-blowing that's stuck in between boggling and blowing there the first was uh after they're 45 degrees towards the water, he goes, hey, are those doors bolted down? And now we've got, oh, what the hell was that? Like you said, it's knives. Butcher knives are flying all over the place.

That's what that is. So let's get to the tip. It's a great last taste to leave in their mouth, I think, before the tip. But it does work out in their favor. Pat hit us. It's 20 grand. That's 2,500 bucks per person.

Now we're talking. That's some real cabbage there. I might be a sea rat. You guys should head on over to Patreon because the down under tips are pathetic. Oh my God. All right. So let's get to...

Gaby... Sorry. All right. So we get some more good news here. two. Gaby, uh, whoa, sorry. All right, so, we get some more good news here. Next episode, we are going to be going on one of those trademark

day out sea rat vacay. The owner of the boat paid for it, like they would do that. Yeah. I can't wait to watch them sober walk through a sanctuary.

Yeah. It's gonna be really awesome. Where was that one Captain Lee went to go see donkeys with them? It was a donkey sanctuary. I'm serious. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here, Lee.

I am willing to bet on tomorrow's day off, and I'm within the show, we're going to learn about the Great Barrier Reef. Oh, yeah. We're going to get facts about it. That's just a... I think that's going to happen think that's not in australia oh damn it well that would be crazy if my prediction comes through them let's see so we gotta wrap it up with gabby talking to daisy gabby voices her frustration actually very well oh wow boss i thought it was done i thought this was going to be the reset we've been asking for, and then I watched the goddamn

trailer. Right, I was going to say! You know, this is probably the first productive conversation Gabby has had with anybody, and it's conversation number four, and obviously it does not take. We'll see Gabby in tears talking to

the Slayer himself, Captain Glenn, but, you know, we just gotta wait a week for it did we did we miss or did i miss when kelsey gave very solid advice to gabby we touched on it okay well i just thought that was incredible by kelsey the weird one is wise beyond her weird yeah i think that was when you two were fueling up with more naturally flavored carbonated malt liquor in a can. It wasn't that specifically, just me getting handed another one that was distracting me, but it was being handed one that is unsealed and empty. It's like a Bill Nye project.

Guys, that's it for us. Jump in the iTunes ratings and reviews. Leave five stars. If you're on Spotify, click five stars. Walk away. Join us on Patreon. Check out Rothy's and Magic Mind. We'll see you next week i'm dylan saying goodbye nick say goodbye bon voyage say goodbye goodbye Thank you.