Kill James Bond! - Lara vs. Tsarina | Below Deck Down Under S3 E13

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

Dylan and Pat are back to break down The Saint, Adonalsium 's core, dares, Adairs, the circus, love and more from Bravo's Below Deck Down Under.Patreon - Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast

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GamblingCare.ie. There's a, so there's some pork dish. It's a chorizo thing going on, chorizo and eggs. You know, can you believe that people line their stomachs with that in the morning? It's so spicy. So gross. I watch people eat those things at breakfast places. You don't want to just eat some scrambled eggs and some toast, huh? You're going to leave this place and

continue on your day? I don't. Hi, hello and welcome to another Brandspank new episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan. That is Pat. Permission to come aboard. What are you looking at? I was looking at the clock. Oh, that is Pat. Permission to come aboard. What are you looking at? I was looking at the clock. Oh, 19, 20, 21, 22. Hey, how you doing?

Doing great. Good, good. Do you want to? What? Do you want to just ask me? Ask you what? How I'm doing? Oh, how are you? Dylan?

I'm pretty good. Good to hear. So, um, patreon.com slash another podcast network, um, is where you can get summer house. That's a fun show. Oh my God. It's a show about nothing. It's wonderful.

Yeah. It's like Seinfeld, but not as good. And on this feed, you can also listen to The Valley, a show about a drug addict and his marriage falling apart. China. The Valley, one of the darker reality TV shows we've ever had. Pivot off that, pivot, pivot. I don't want my reality TV to be that dark it's dark yeah I want him in rehab and then get to the couples I felt bad because I thought the last episode was hilarious and it is really hilarious but when there's a kid involved it's not so funny and it gets very dark but we're having a blast

talking about it you know I hadn't noticed, but you pointed out in one of our social media clips that the theme song is all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody's all right. It's like a failing mantra. Yeah, because the main cast member is going to rehab, so everything clearly is not all right.

No, no, I'd say that's pretty close to the exact opposite. But you can hear that on this feed. Listen to summerhousepatron.com slash another podcast network reviews. We'll do them at the end. They're flooding in. We love them. They're flooding in.

We love them. Thank you. Let's finally get to 2000. Help us out. Yeah, let's go ahead and punch through that brick Mario. Pat. Yes. Thoughts pots. Yeah, let's go ahead and punch through that mm-hmm brick Mario um Pat yes thoughts pots Mmm. We're there right yeah, I was not happy with this episode a lot happened, but nothing happened Yeah, just a lot going on we have of course the mental warfare that's taking place between Lara and Zarina

We have some new romances blossoming. Yeah, two nerds, couple of nerds. Couple of nerds. We have some charter guests wanting a seafood extravaganza. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely wouldn't be on my preference sheet. I'll tell you that right now. I don't like sea bugs, neither do you.

Okay, so let's say you're put on a boat and it's sea bugs or hot dogs For the entire charter now. I was just at Dodger Stadium. Yeah yesterday you didn't dare If they gave them away for free now my wife She doesn't listen to me apparently because she said oh this dad over here, Jesse He also got food poisoning from a Dodger dog She doesn't listen to me apparently because she said, oh, this dad over here, Jesse, he also got food poisoning from a Dodger dog. So I make my way over to him and go,

Jesse, you got food poisoning from a Dodger dog? He goes, no, no, no. I ate nine of them one time as a dare. I was like, oh, did you throw up? He said, no, I won 20 bucks. I was like, like thanks Shuri thank you you know I am so proud of you because the conviction that you display and we'll get to the show the conviction you display at Chavez ravine because so many people have eaten the dreaded dog and have been worse for wear. Yet every time we come back,

it is like the worst siren song of all time. It's a steamed tube of fucking flesh that gives you blood butt. Yeah, and here's the words of the wise. Never buy a Dodger dog in the ninth inning. That sucker was the first dog created earlier that morning It's or God forbid it's a pretty before put in an aluminum bag and put at the bottom of a box And you will then buy it yeah for $11 consume it and then pray to God that you

Pray that you survive. Yeah It's crummy lotto when you eat these dogs. But anyway, so. I'm gonna give this like, I'm not gonna give it to you. I'm gonna give it five knots. It just, it wasn't good. You know, we're getting to that point in the season. It's, look, this season has given us a lot

and I'm thankful for it. Yeah, it's a wonder you know I'm a little torn because William is a toxic human being who's you know maybe not making the women uncomfortable yet but he's definitely like he was laying waste to the the mines of really everybody aboard that vessel. So you can't keep that around but when you have a grenade like that it really does ramp up the drama of the show. It's the problem with storytelling once you kill the villain where do you go with the story man that's how you know Lord of the Rings Return of the King they added like 30

minutes on the end of that bullshit and I'm like what am I watching here? Well the bad guy's dead right? Why am I going back to that land with the little people? The the tricky thing well it's because the you know it's the end it's the return to normalcy and it's a vital important vitally important part of the story it also won 11 Academy Awards and it's just like I don't agree with you but but I'll tell you what this thing's still playing wake me up when the credits start you know what that's what Blair Witch did so good you know you watched the whole fucking thing because you haven't seen the bad guy yet and then at the very end you see

the bad guy kind of kind of yeah okay um so you gave it five, I give it six. On a good note, we will be interviewing Brianna. Big red. This week and we still have time. Get in our Facebook group. If you haven't signed up for our Facebook group yet, another below deck podcast and put in your question there. I don't have any questions, so I'll just be using yours.

And please use phonetics to Give your name. I'm gonna botch it. Otherwise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I don't know if you If you can do that on Facebook. Yeah, if you want to write how to We say your names, but no we have tons of questions for for Brie we're very excited Do you think we should drop sea Rats during the in-person interviews? Drop them? What do you mean drop them? Stop calling them Sea Rats.

Oof. Well, you've gotten us in a little hot water when you refer to them out of the gate. Do you remember that one? Yeah. That girl from season one, you said, you know, when you first started being a Sea Rat, she said, what did you call me? It is quite insulting. Yeah.

And I said it's a term of endearment. And I think she left the call early Yeah, she had some space shit to do right? Okay. Let's get to the episode last one I feel like last episode was a little bit of a poop episode too. We had Nick the nerd getting a kiss and we had That kind of acrid Laura verse Serena stuff and while we're still there at this club level Oh, absolutely and we're fighting about the plates. Which is Looney Tunes, but Dylan, it really goes much deeper than that.

Because an outsider would see it and go, are they fucking arguing about fucking plates? Yeah. The reality is, Laura thinks Serena's being difficult, which one could argue she is, and then Serena thinks Laura's sticking her nose where it doesn't belong in her department, which one could also argue that's happening. And it pains me, it really does, that Laura was so right about those plates. She, she was, she was, she was. Those plates were

disgusting. They were not mafia wife. Okay, so Brie and Laura head off to the bathroom after her chat with Serena. This is called club level. That's right. Okay. Boy, very inventive names. Yeah. Well, they don't have to be inventive. They just have to be vaguely sexy.

Ice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Put that on your nipple. You know, that's the kind of night you can have. Yeah. We sang at a club called Premier. Right. Right. Yeah. Put that on your nipple. You know, that's the kind of night you can have. Yeah. We sang at a club called Premier. Right. Right. Right. The best. It's essentially saying we're the best. What was the one that was really popular? Supper Club. Supper Club. Wow.

They used to, excuse me, clean my throat. On a Friday night, I'd watch them wheeling in like live lions for entertainment in there, man. It was a The place was popping off. Sunset. I'm sorry Hollywood Boulevard. What's the one on Crescent and Sunset? Oh well that's been a bunch of things. I think it's currently called Paradigm. See that's what that's the perfect type of name that I'm talking about but that place was cool. I mean Heidi Montag used to go there. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? All those people. Yep. So, um, we're in the bathroom. There's probably somebody who is just trying to do cocaine and income big red and Laura and Laura is hair and big, big red are split up here and they're getting two sides of the war. Um, but we then move on to Nate and Alicia. Oh, yes, yes,

yes. This was interesting for me, Dylan. Well, first, Nick and Marina are dancing the night away. And then Alicia is realizing at this very moment that Nate is the type of guy that she could date. And Johnny who? Any port in a storm, Dylan thinks that's crass. No, no, no, no. OK.

But she does refer to Johnny, and I quote quote as a guy that she kissed on the boat. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think if she had said, you know, my Greek love was here before you, he'd have been like, what are you talking about? You know what I mean? Right. Fair enough. Yeah. But she could have said I was dating someone that I was kind of into, but he got fired because he was punching a wall. And then the rest of the story gets really very convoluted at that point. But there were cabinets, he punched cabinets. That's true. Yeah. Dylan, quick personal story. You've heard it before, but it's been a while.

Yeah. In college, I was flying across the country two times a year back and forth for Christmas break, summer break, anyway I was always at Logan Airport and then I'd have to fly into Reno Airport in Nevada and one year and Reno's gross disgusting one year it's the biggest little city in the world, Dill. It is Vegas' gross little cousin that no one likes to mention. Yeah, it's not, did you say it's the biggest little city? That's their claim to fame. Okay, yeah, that's what they call themselves. Yes.

Well, you can't say like, knee fungus and death, you know, that's a bad slogan. Be bad on a billboard that you're, that's a bad slogan. Be bad on a billboard that you're driving on. Well, one year, I think it was my sophomore year, I see these two people going at it. It's a girl and a guy, leg wrap around crying. Oh yeah. I'm like, Jesus, these two.

Anyway, the girl gets on the plane with me. She's sitting a few rows in front of me, very attractive girl. And we gets on the plane with me. She's sitting a few rows in front of me, very attractive girl. And we get off the plane in Nevada. And this was back before 9-11. And people could greet you when you come out of the plane. Boy, she does a run jump, toddler jump, leg rock around, starts fucking sticking tongues down.

I thought they were going to bang each other on the disgusting carpet. No way. She loves so much. And that's when I realized, you know, it's... Yeah. She was a whore. Well, you know, it just, we can move on very quickly.

Yeah, I mean, listen, you have to find the meaningful love and then the leg wraparounds will be stuck to one person, you know, but who you know what? Polyamory is all the rage nowadays, you know these fucking gen alphas. They're spitting in everybody's mouths. So I hear on Newsweek or something Yeah, yeah, they're having a good time Okay, so we hit the vans One car is fun car pizza car and the other is lame car Complaining car. Yeah, is that the car that Lara was in and she's still defending her position about those plates Well, you know what something that we didn't know. She's really rip shit pissed about being called a stewardess. Oh, yes

Yes. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I don't know like an old pair being called like a babysitter You know, it's like not really. Yeah A lot of people have been calling captain Jason Jason this season. I don't know if you've caught that Yeah, I wouldn't go over well with captain Sandy one girl got fired a couple seasons back because she said Sandy I understand where you're coming from. She said what did you you call me? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember her. Millie elicit sworn enemy. That's right. Alyssa. Yeah. Okay. So we hit the boat. Harry and big red are still, Hey, have they freaking pork to each other yet? You think? I don't think so.

I don't think so either. We'll ask her on Wednesday. No, we won't. Well, we're not going to ask her. I'll say, Christina, Camma. Hold on, let me see here. Camma Marina. We love you, Christina. Wants to know, have you and Harry knocked boots yet? So you just put it in someone else's, make someone else ask the question.

All right, now Dylan, Z. We got to lose that or C-Rat to her face. We got to lose one of those. One of them, fair enough. All right, so Zarina and Lara continue to ignore each other despite the fact that they're sleeping in very close quarters. Yeah. Where you can actually feel the vibration if someone burps very loud. I don't know if... Well, you can also you can also feel the darkness, you know. I mean, imagine laying next to your enemy and shedding your eyes. You could see them clear as day, you know what

I mean? Or your wife when you're fighting all night yeah sure I think it's a yucky thing oh my god we're not gonna resolve this tonight Jesus like a furnace it's a furnace okay so long pause hang on long super long pause Zarina and Laura oh my gosh my favorite part of the episode what was that okay so I am so sorry that that took so long that was ridiculous so we have this Marina and Nick the nerd thing well yeah but they're both nerds now Dill, because she watches The Hobbit. OK, so we love Marina. She's a fun, she's fun.

She's got a great attitude. You know, she's the one that I think I most connect with on the boat, if I'm being perfectly. Yeah, yeah. I'd love to get a beer with Marina. But The Hobbit is not really anything that nerds actually watch. It is a blemish in what is otherwise, you know, the Holy Trinity. And the other thing that she said was that she wanted to play Mario. Which I think that's probably like the most popular guy ever probably, I think.

Jocks play Mario. So I think the point you're making here Dylan is one that we've had to it's been a common we have to okay so what we're saying is those aren't nerds those are not let me give you an example there's a fairly significant amount. Adenolcium, Adenolcium core, crashing. You know? Adenolcium did it. Yep, yep. Well, and like, you know, there's always like the

is Dragonsteel Adenolcium's god metal? Those are nerds. The one, I don't know if it's... I don't know which one it is. He gets me too every time. Just a nerd voice. He got the other ones too, like they speak up. He's like, Adam Alfheim didn't.

They're like, Jesus Christ. Those are nerds, all right? You're not nerds, stop saying. You're not nerds. Alright? You're not nerds, stop saying that. You're not nerds. Next morning. Next morning. We have a chat with Serena and Alicia. It goes over well.

Serena does this thing where she, there's a lurchiness to her. You know what I mean? Like they'll get into a conversation and there's a lurch first. You know what I mean? Like I know'll get into a conversation, and there's a lurch first, you know what I mean? Like, I know that you've been dominated psychically by Laura, and we have to contend with it. It's like, whoa. Well, something happens here, Dylan,

that isn't common on this boat. Yeah. We get an apology out of Serena. Usually, the beef ends with a Sea Rat rationalizing their horrible behavior, and then they move on to either smoking cigarettes or tossing into one another. Yeah Yeah or both. Or both. Yeah. In this case it's something different. An apology, a heartfelt apology. Yeah it is crazy that

you bring up smokes because I think this may be our first daytime conflict resolution like this. We're sitting down and squishing our, we're squishing up and we're just getting over things. Usually there's a sick or two involved. Yeah. You know? I think they let them smoke on the boat maybe

during working hours. Well, they shouldn't because they would be out there all day just sucking down stokes. All right, so we have to get to a pretty important part of the episode. Yeah, it's the it's the preferential meeting. We've got people from our home city coming to town. Yeah. Or coming to boat. And do you know anything about these guys? I don't look them up. T-shirt people. T-shirt people. I wrote down what they do but I was too

lazy to do it. But anyway they want to bonfire a seafood extravaganza and they're gonna do a circus themed dinner. Yeah it's gonna be wicked. Oh yeah. And we get a little Sea Red history., it's gonna be wicked. Oh yeah. And we get a little Sea Rat history. Oh, I'm glad you brought that up, Dylan. With Lara. I don't know if she's hinted at her past at all. She's a mystery.

But the- Go ahead. In an enigma. Yeah. But the circus theme on this preference sheet triggers a memory and then thus gets us to some Sea Rat history. Ba-da-da- this, but her dad took off when she was two. Mom worked three jobs to feed the family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the circus, this is where the circus fits

into this Sea Rat history, was some of the more happier times in her childhood in an otherwise dark period. Yes. Pretty run-of-the-mill Sea Rat sad story. Zero points on the sad scale. Just to give a reference point, if your sister was gunned down in a car after a drug deal gone bad, which has happened on this franchise, that's two points. So this one's zero. Can I tell you something?

I think that you're way too strict on these on these sad skills Well, that's why I always try and help out. All right, so Lara can I quickly can quickly say our new people must be like what am I listening to because if you were confused as to why I Cackled like a demon when Pat said that her father abandoned her at the age of two it's important to note that it's just, it's important to note that the humor comes from this being the 17th or 70th time we've heard this story, okay? Now it doesn't make it any less tragic case by case,

but it is so funny. Now, Dylan, your critique of me and my recapping of the sea rats answers sad stories And also the points that I deep, you know, you assign yes I always try and help out how they could upgrade in the point system Yeah So if Laura if your sister was stabbed by a clown lost a big toe or something like that, that's half a point, right? But right now it's zero God, I can't even imagine.

Do you have to get hit by a nuclear weapon to get a five? Like, I've never thought that grand. But I mean, there's a score that big. It's just something crazy has to happen. To be fair to you, Laura's story is pretty run of the mill, right? That's right. I would say that on my Sea Rat's head scale, and I don't really, mine does not matter because

you know, we have one, but this would get into low decimals, only maybe 0.00115. You're going to give it something like that because of the differentiation with the circus, right? The circus adds a wrinkle of horror to the story, right? Because imagine that creepy fucking fucked up place being your only happy place right that's what like eight-legged freaks are born from right I'm not saying Laura is that but it's still spooky well Dylan your point is well taken it's still a zero on over here okay understand all right so mom I

verse medum I and Laura verse Serena do youite verse Vegemite and Laura verse Serena. Do you know what Vegemite is? Because I had a roommate Nick when I first moved to Hollywood. We lived in a two-bedroom apartment where we had, we called it Tent City, Tarp City because we all were living in there. Nick was a roadie for a bunch of bands. That was my first Australian. What was it like when people brought people home? There were two Nicks and they were both friends. One was American from Indiana, one was from Australia. They were buddies and they would both bring home girls.

And they would just, and you just hear it and you're like, oh my God, again. But Nick would make Vegemite sandwiches. Vegemite on toast. Vegemite on toast. And I tried to give it a shot. But it's just bitter and salty.

It's an acquired taste. I think it's a derivative of yeast. It's some kind of awful sludgy bloom. You know, I often wonder what other countries think about ketchup. Like Americans are splashing goddamn ketchup and ranch on everything. I wonder if other countries think that is

just disgusting. No, we're pretty much the best. We are the best. Yeah, I would say. Nice. Yeah, probably. Just if you look at all the metrics. Right. The data, the data, the raw data says we're the best.

Now, don't you glossed over one moment here, Captain Jason brings up that Marina being on service would be a good idea. This is still in the preference sheet meeting oh yes Serena chimes in yeah yeah yeah says I think that would be a great idea yeah and that's that's throwing it in Laura's face yeah brilliant stuff I mean that you could cut the tension with an I've gosh I really hope they work it out but it looks like you know it's been a year now and they haven't worked it out. No, no, no, no.

I don't know. I think there's still some bad blood there. Yeah, baby. Now we got bad blood. Okay, so we, I was zoomed all the way down. I'm doing bad with Google Docs today. I'm sorry. So Lara and Zarina chat and Zarina makes the case to stay in your department.

And Lara says, because she's referring to Alicia, apparently going to them. And it wasn't Alicia going to Lara to talk shit about Zarina. It was Lara and Brianna getting her to come into the dorm room to then try and extract talking shit about Serena. So Lara, shame on you. You're a big liar there.

We got you on film there, Ken. Well, Serena also is just like, if you wouldn't mind, please don't try to turn my galley into a color revolution against me. I really would appreciate if you didn't do that. And she was like, I can't believe you would ask me to do something like that. Bitch. Yeah. And then she walks out. So it goes over well.

Laura has another stick in her spoke and that is Jason, that dickhead. He will not leave it alone. He's trying to break what isn't broken, and that is Marina seeing sunlight. OK? We do not need her to see the day. Laura wants to lock her to the dryer, and Jason wants to free her.

Anyways, meanwhile. Meanwhile. Harry gets promoted again. Congratulations, Harry. Laura orders a cheeky little gift more than a five. I want to know what the lip, because maybe I glossed over this, did she lose her lipstick? What was so special about this? She probably lost it. Wow the little things when you're out at sea and how meaningful they are. She was very touched

that by that gift. Little things just in general like it's amazing. I don't know how this happens, but over, and you know, maybe I need to just grow up and get less sloppy, but like, let's say I get 10 pairs of boxer briefs. Over the course of two years, I'll have two pairs of boxer briefs. And it's like, how does that happen?

Where do they go? They fall apart when you put them in the washing machine, man Now it's more of a mystery they're not thrown out they vanish. Does that not happen to you? No but I do realize like sometimes my two-year-olds like staring at me as I'm sitting on the couch eating cereal in the morning and I realize there's a tear in the lower part of my boxers and he's staring at my balls. Yeah. And then my wife just shakes her head in disgust. She's like, you need to start wearing shorts now. The kids are getting up a certain age.

Now you can see your balls. Yeah. It's really nice though. The window's cracked in the morning, the breeze is coming through. Yeah, do you think you're trying to like teach him like this is what you could be? Or is it kind of an alpha move?

No, no, not at all I'm unaware that my boxers are falling apart Yeah, it does I would imagine really keep him in fucking line though, you know what I mean I mean, he's looking up at these ball. Look at these, you know, you can have these two and you're not for a while You're tiny your tiny little person. Okay the charter guests get here. A couple of larracans. What is larracan?

I have no idea. You want me to look it up? I'll look it up. You vamp. Because they threw the definition up on the screen. Shame on us. Oh, is it an Australian thing? It's like a fucking American that you lock,

or something like that. Oh, OK. Well, a couple of them have mutton chops, which is a late 60s thing That should never be brought back. It's it's a boisterous often badly behaved young man Ah, there you go. Well, we probably had a couple of those a person with apparent disregard for convention a maverick John McCain Larrikin Go ahead try to wave to me. You can't.

I don't know how good a pilot he was. He got shot out of the air. Go ahead, try to lift it down the other one. Okay. All right. I always say this, but Dylan, Dylan didn't live it. He was probably a baby at this time. Yeah. The mutton chops go along with the 80s woman's hair, which were perms and also horrible 80s fashion. I'm watching old movies with my daughter now. We just watched Adventures in Babysitting. I'm not sure if that's in

your lexicon of film as a child. Is that Christina Applegate? Great, great thing. No, it's that girl that was in Kar kid. I forget what her name is. Mm-hmm Hillary swank You're talking about Hillary swank now the girl that was in karate kid Mmm anyway, that doesn't matter everyone in that movie had goofy hair the 80s suck and so to my well to give to credit to women Elizabeth shoe Elizabeth shoe Wow You know what Elizabeth shoes in? The Saint. She is in that.

You know what? She's also in Kevin Bakes, Bacon's in it. It's like a version of the invisible man. Hollow man. Hollow man. Don't sleep on that. No, do. You think sleep on that?

What happened to Elizabeth shoe? What happened? I thinkue? What happened to her? I think she was in something recently. I happen to know that she's not well-liked on sets. She can be pretty, allegedly, pretty unpleasant. Well, you know, you get a reputation like that in Hollywood and you really got to get blacklisted. That's right.

Bo D-Docs, Harry teaches Nick to drop the anchor. I didn't understand what was happening here. Hang on, hang on, hang on one second. I want to circle back. One of your credits are women, because they're like, no. That's no longer a thing. What? They drop the dresses, they drop the perms, and we move on.

I don't see any of that 80s stuff walking around. Oh, no. I bring it up constantly, because I never want it to come back. No I know but the but you still see guys walking around with mutton chops. Yes. And I'm confused like has it ever has anyone ever pulled that off? Elvis. Elvis. It was weird I think that was the height of his drug addiction. Oh really? Really sweaty? Sweating, fat, bloated. Yeah.

Yeah. Lot coming out. Lot seeping out. Doing a little kung fu move on stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know that peanut butter and jelly sandwich you used to eat, right? With bananas.

And bacon. I mean, what a pig. You know, when you've had it all, you just got to push the boundaries. Yep, exactly. Okay. I'll eat ants. Meatloaf had mutton chops, right? I hate that guy.

When he was dead, I was like, good. He was such a dickhead to me. Okay. But he did have mutton chops, right? Yeah, he did. Yeah, Pat is not a fan of meatloaf. Hi meat. Oh, you're dead.

Whoops. Was that his? It was short? Hi meat. Oh, you're dead. Oops. Was that his, it was short. You would call him me. Well, I thought I could. He didn't like that. No. Yeah. Yeah. It's tough. You know, these celebs, you know, they're really, they can't take a freaking, you know, it's just like cool down. Well, it also, it was at a time that they like what there weren't so many famous people like they thought they were so special They thought they were like kings and queens when they'd walk into a studio. Everyone needed to bow to them I'm glad those times are long gone. I think I've told the story but my brother used to manage the echoplex and okay and back

Oh, yeah, he's a notorious asshole back developed a fear of ramps as he got through it so he he refused to walk up ramps or something you have to be carried and it was just like were you afraid of ramps when you were like 20 years old? No. Mm-mm. That's what happens. You just start hating everything and everybody, and then you start doing things like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know it's tough. All right, well anyways, yeah. I mean, wouldn't wish it on my. I'm a loser, baby. Go ahead. Oh, OK. So we get to this anchor thing with Nick. Now, I guess they're not doing the radio properly,

and this anchor goes down because it's Harry trying to teach Nick how to drop anchor and he goes radio silent. Jason, I think Captain Jason gets kind of pissed. I was wondering Dylan because this anchor thing scares me because it's that loose chain just kind of flying down. Just rip everything off your body. So of course I had to ask my phone, So, of course, I had to ask my phone, I asked it, how many people die a year caused by an anchor? And here's the answer it gave me. Yeah. It's difficult to provide a precise number of deaths.

Can I really quickly ask what robot you're talking to? Well, I just go on my phone. So you're talking to Siri. Yeah, Siri, how many people die a year from an anchor? And Siri said, it's difficult to provide a provisional number of deaths directly attributable to anchors in maritime situations as many factors contribute to maritime deaths. However, hundreds of deaths occur at sea and during maritime operations each year and some of these may be related to an anchor.

So an anchor does kill some people. It was good to hear. Felt so foolish doing that search. TLDR, a couple. A couple? Yeah. It's gotta be ugly. Because you gotta be asking yourself, you know this anchor that just ripped that guy's fucking head off, it costs like three grand. I know but his arm's in there.

I know but we, just clean the arm out. We gotta reuse the anchor. No, it's like we gotta replace the anchor. So it's complete final destination. I mean, imagine a wood chipper, but there's no blades. It's just pure fucking smush, right? And you do like, what are you gonna do? Not use the chain like get the freaking shit you use for the regular link and and mop that dead body off that chain We got to haul it up. It's a brutal business brutal brutal business. All right, so Nick the nerd does not attach it. Well, it falls down Harry's not on the radio He says I've just become a late decan and I've boggled it

He says, I've just become a late decadent and I've boggled it. But the boys rub each other down a bit and we get ready to head to the beach. Can I tell you something? I miss the disastrous beach setups. Oh, yeah. I feel like we, and I don't mean like, oh, we and we're not speaking correctly to one another. I mean like,

Wild animals. There are needles where they're supposed to be eating brie, you know, I miss that to back So fun So Harry didn't have the radio on his hands because his hands were full couple of bros him and Jason just growing out Zarina and Alicia they cling shit strings out of shrimp and They call it it's they call it

dividing yeah de veining and I'm happy for that because he too that really does soften it and we could just say de veining yeah when I worked at weather vein seafoods I had to do that yeah I feel like we needed t-shirt when I worked at weather veinafoods or just was that the one with the did it have a squid on top? No, it had a weathervane, a weathervane. That's right. But was the weathervane, was it a rooster or was it an aquatic? So oh, no, that's funny. You mentioned that it might have been a rooster. Okay, yeah, yeah, they usually are. But I didn't know if they

just had a flare for the dramatic, anyway sold their franchise off to legal seafood legal seafood, hmm That's a bad name I think so but it survived the test of time legal seafood. Mm-hmm very popular in Boston Very popular. So Nick the nerd calls Serena, or no, he calls Marina, the Jean Grey to his Professor X. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's kind of creepy, right? Yeah, those two never mix it up.

No, it's kind of like adoptive daughter kind of thing. Like one's like a hot young bed, and the other one is like a cripple who Yeah, who's like old Who's the guy that couldn't see where and that he sort of said he was that guy the James Cycle Cyclops. Yeah He's fucking it up. I don't know what kind of nerdy is. Yeah, I want to check his nerd credentials. Yeah, this guy's not a nerd He's just not So Bree stays back and makes marshmallows while a dare gets sand in her butt crack and that's what she said. Okay. When was the last time you went to the beach?

I went to Paradise Cove last year with the kids. The kids really want, kids need to go to the beach evidently if the beach is there. It's very important. It's a staple in a summer vacation with a family because when the kids go back to school every kid's going to brag about I went to the beach or I went on vacation. And the teachers tell you that. They go, you know, when the kids come back from summer break they don't say, mommy and daddy bought me all these presents and this and that. They say, I went with Grammy and Grampy and Uncle Barry and Auntie Evie and we went to the beach and we hung out all day. Teachers get a little pre-g, don't they? Yeah, I went with Grammy and Grampy and Uncle Barry and Auntie Evie and we went to the beach and we hung out all day.

Teachers get a little pregy, don't they? Yeah, I appreciate it though, because I wouldn't know. You know what I mean? I didn't read any of those fancy books about parenting. All right. So Alicia is tasked with chucking oysters. That's a horrible idea from Zarina, I got to say. She says it's unbelievably difficult and Alicia's like, I can figure it out. Five minutes later, she's got a fucking knife in the side of her hand and she's just gnarled these these oysters to pieces.

It's just not a good idea. Alicia then starts to flirt a lot of bit with the epaulettes of Nate Dogg. These two are, they're really smitten for one another. When we get to the dinner, it's a seafood extravaganza. Oh, yes. We've got white, we've got red, and we've got all the water bugs you can imagine. We also have a little small talk from the guest, Dylan, and the subject was stories of strippers using their coochies as flamethrowers. As dangerous as it sounds, I'd like to see it. I gotta tell you, these t-shirt people have some wild stories. Some of the stories that they swapped over meals.

I couldn't believe my ears or my eyes. Okay, so we've got lobsters, prawns, oysters, crab pasta, scallops, the oysters. Oh, she goes, she goes, do you know where you source the oysters? And she's like, they're local. Yeah, they're local. I think so.

And fresh, let me tell you. Oh my God. We have some fried mussels. The ladies knocked it out of the park. This is an 88-pot dinner. If you love sea bugs, if you love a raw bar, one of the most overpriced things in the culinary world. I mean, you'd get a raw bar. Holy smokes.

A question, Dylan. Was there any carbohydrates on that table? Crepe pasta. Okay. Crepe pasta. An odd plating of it, the legs kind of left intact, hidden under a canopy of spaghetti. 83 pots actually. 83, deduction. Major deduction there. Sloppy plated. I would say that's a fairly major deduction. Alright, so we get to Alisa. Who gets to

kind of, what do you call it when they go up with their blowhole and like pfff. Oh god, what is that called? Is it breaching? Breaching! Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Alisa gets to breach, right? And she's on cloud nine. Are we talking about, oh, because she

gets the honors of sharing with the paying guests what they're dining on tonight. Yes. What an honor that is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's a big deal for Alicia. She says those are a little spicy. These are a little bit more tame.

And she's riding a high because she's part of the experience. So I get that. She's on a further jaunt up when Laura gives her a gift. Dylan, I have to ask you this, and women are way better at this than I, to get the kind of things. Was this in fact more about sharing a gift with someone to show that you care about them

or was this to stab Serena over and over again because she has so much attention being paid to her subordinate? Yeah. Women are very complicated. Yeah, they're so complicated. Hey, can I tell you something? I don't even get them. You don't either No way, man. Me neither, man. Are you kidding me? I got no freaking clue. I

Miss guy roommates. I Got them, you know, I mean Yeah, Daniel, you're just gonna sit down on the couch all day and smoke weed and watch Frasier? Yeah. I get that. Yeah. Your life is going nowhere, but you make me laugh. It's a beast, we know.

That's right. But I honestly don't know what this is. I found myself at times, I found myself at times giving her credit, the benefit of the doubt, and I found myself at times, I found myself at times giving her credit, the benefit of the doubt, and I found myself at times being, I'm feeling a very insidious feeling in my body, because this is a layer of blades, right? One, who's to say what the true motive is, right? It's a very opaque gesture.

But two, what are you gonna do? Go up to her and go, I see what you're doing. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. Well, that's why it's Machiavellian. Machiavellian. Laura may be evil.

You know, it was kind of hinting, alluding to that during the interview. Go listen to that, by the way. Who do you think's more evil, Janet or Laura? Ooh, a lot of people hate Janet. Yeah. Go listen to that by the way. Who do you think's more evil? Janet or Laura? Ooh, a lot of people hate Janet. Yeah. People see it from the Valley. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's probably Janet. All right. So Alicia is super happy. She's tickling Harry's tummy.

That's how happy she is. And the guests, um, they go to bed. We didn't even see them. Yeah, and the guests say their goodnights. Adair. Adair is becoming the queen of the turndown. She's barking orders at Brie. I think that that's... She's scrub mummy.

Yeah, she's scrub mummy. Do you have one of those? What? A scrub mummy. What's that? Well, you know, scrub daddy. Scrub daddy? You know, scrub daddy.

No, no, no. What's scrub daddy? Oh my gosh. Only one of the most successful pictures on shark tank ever. Oh really clean a toilet scrub It's a scrub with a happy face in it. Uh-huh And you can slot a spoon through the mouth. Oh and when it's when it's cold, it's hard and when it's warm It's soft. Oh my god, it cleans very easily. I'm going to go to Costco tomorrow. Well, Costco has the family pack, right? Because Scrub Daddy has expanded. He's fallen in love, and he has sired children. There is a Scrub Mommy.

There is a Scrub Baby. Scrub Baby, huh? So there is the Scrub Mommy, but she's also the weird one. Yeah. I think she's just fully like without the we on story line, she's just fully transformed into the weird one. Some, some deckies just work on the boat. You know? Yeah. They're just kind of there. Yeah. They're not quite engineers, but they are the weird one. Uh, so night done, great night night done.

Imagine sleeping next. We talked about sleeping next year. And I mean, these two, I mean, I don't even know comfortable. So, um, the next day, the swell is very, very bad. I felt like I was on sailing. That's what I said. That's what I said. Because I, you know, any of you nautical know-it-alls out there, let us know.

I thought the guests handled this so well, because if it was me, I would have been like, Hey, get out of here. Get us out of here. Why? Why do they have to sit in that swell all the time? All like that. I'm barfing my brains out. Yeah. I mean, there are muffins flying everywhere. What was shocking is they kind of did, they were doing the water toys, and then all of a sudden, it was like a tsunami arrived. Yeah. Yeah, I mean there are muffins flying everywhere. What was shocking is they kind of did, they were doing the water toys and then all of a sudden it was like a tsunami arrived.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely nuts stuff and even crazier I think over breakfast there's some pork dish. There's a, so there's some pork dish, it's a chorizo thing going on, chorizo and eggs eggs You know, can you believe that people line their stomachs with that in the morning? It's so spicy So gross I Watch people eat those things at breakfast places You don't want to just eat some scrambled eggs and some toast, huh? You know leave this place and continue on your day. I don't, I, it's so crazy. But my dad, he lives in Virginia, so he doesn't get any good Mexican food and he gets very hungry in the morning.

So he'll go and he'll eat this chorizo and egg shit. And of course he's in the bathroom like four hours later just oh My god, they do it despite. They know what the future holds. Yeah, okay One thing I did want to mention at breakfast the guys Continue with their crazy t-shirt stories. He says there's one of the fattest stories I've ever heard He was like I woke up in the middle of the night with baker's chocolate in my mouth. Everybody's like, whoa. What's that mean?

Okay, so they're going to try to reposition the boat. And at the end, Serena tells, oh, well, no, they just, they're not trying to reposition the boat. The wind just comes in. But the last thing is that Serena tells Alicia that she might turn into a cook slash stew if she's not careful with Laura. Careful now. You know, she might become the thing that you so despise

in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. Five stars, kind words. I said I do a review. We need to do a review. Pat say thank you for stuff. Oh, thank you for listening. Thank you for supporting us via Patreon dot com slash another podcast network. Yeah, yeah, that's actually really good. I hope we have a good episode while Dylan's pulling up these reviews of the valley this week, because, who did that take a turn for the ugly?

We mentioned it at the top of the show. I don't ever want an episode like that again. Well, speaking of, this is titled Split Custodies by Christina. Split Custodies and it's an amazing... It's our potential rating system for this. Yeah, love, love, love you guys also. Pat is my new favorite of all. Thank you so much for the five. The five stars, the kind words, keep them coming. Hey, let's get up to it. 2000.

Let's do it. Help us out. OK. Get in there. We love you guys. See you next week. I'm Dylan. Say goodbye.

Pat, say goodbye. Later, dudes. Kids! Thank you.