Another Below Deck Podcast - Leaders Are Not Followers | Below Deck Med S10 E3

Episode Date: October 14, 2025

Dylan and Pat are back to break down Avatar, physical currency, clown makeup, hunting, micro penis’, moths, Alex Trebek, jellyfish, fake girlfriends and more from Bravo's Below Deck Mediterranean  PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

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If anybody was ever fucking lying about their past, an airplane pilot that left that lifestyle. I love that, yeah. There's something going on there. I will say this. If you're a paying guest and you see the jet ski float away with a employee on it, this is your canary in a coal mine moment where you're like, get out.

That bird is fucking dead and I should get off this brother immediately because we're all going to die. Hi, hello, woke to another brand spanking new episode of Bad TV. I'm Dylan. That is Patrick. Permission to come aboard. Granted, Kaelan is back there. Hello. I hate this city.

Go ahead. You hate the city? I hate this. Well, let me, I'm going to bring a little positivity to podcast. It's Buzzball Friday. Yay. Yay. Okay, so pause the podcast right now.

Go to your local flea market or run down gas station. Go in there, blow some dust off those buzz balls, buy yourself like three, sit down, hit play again, and just enjoy the podcast. Can you get buzz balls at flea markets? I think so. You sure? Because I know you can get like ponchos with fleas and, uh, Clay statues. Yeah, like busts that used to belong to poor old people.

I mean, socioeconomically challenged old people. You know the kinds of- They can get a taco there too. Oh, yeah. But you know the kinds of old people that are just kind of like dying in a small room. Yeah. All their shit goes to flea markets. And so do buzz balls.

So go to your local flea market, get a poncho, get bug bites. and am I being, am I being, no, you just, actually one thought bummed me out, like, I don't want to die in like a studio apartment by myself with my family hating me. With all of this stuff that's going to get sent to fucking San Bernardino. Well, you're dead. And then the, uh, the apartment manager walks in and says, I don't think he has any family left. What should we do with his stuff?

Uh, just throw out in the garbage. Yeah, or worse, he's like that guy from the kumete that goes out onto the mat and and takes the gold tooth, bites down on it to make sure it's real. These land managers, I am very, very late today. I tried, you know what it's like when you're trying, you have the maps, right? And it's telling you to go somewhere. And you're like, well, that's never going to work, right? I'm not going to take Franklin to Highland.

I'm going to be late if I do that. So what you do is you pull a U-turn, almost get T-bone by an Asian. woman who's actually very upset with you and rightly so and then you try to find tributaries over the hill but you don't know the city well enough you should have called me can i tell you something i'm going to give some a secret advice to some of our listeners that are going to be laid to an appointment nichols canyon no no no this is this applies to any city go down those alleyways behind buildings like you can avoid like 19 uh lights that way i do it all the time i mostly drive down alleys to traverse my way through this city.

Do you really? Do you see some seedy stuff back there? Not really. It's just mostly people like pulling boxes out to bring into the back of their stores. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, uh, Kailen, how you doing? I'm good. Was that stuff I said about the, uh, Fleemort?

I'm poor. I just want to say. I'm not trying to shade anybody. Are you kidding me? Yeah. I didn't have money to like last year. Thank you. So we're doing a new thing.

Yeah, Kailen's going to plug it. Kailen's going to plug it. Go ahead, Kailen. Yeah, so I want to do a, uh, kind of thing on our YouTube. channel where we i mean obviously this is a below deck recap show well dylan's given as soon as below deck finishes airing and you're probably watching on a smart tv just go from your uh bravo app or youtube tv and click over to youtube and if you subscribe to our bad tv youtube channel you will immediately see the after show recap that we're doing on youtube yeah and then you can and i will be in

that feed when we run that live and i will be interacting with you guys as well i do you have nothing to do on Monday nights. Do you know how to do that? Yeah, yeah. You just, someone says something and you hit reply. Okay. All right. Well, yeah, I actually think that this is a really fun idea and I think that we've been kind of, we've been holding off a direct war with Andy Cohen for so long. And now we're just going to go straight into the slide. Well, yeah, we're going to go up against watch what happens. Right. So we're going to be a competing platform against that platform. Yeah. And we're going to get, Andy. We're going to get bears and people with cookbooks to come in here and just stand behind that bar and not say anything for the entire

podcast. Yeah. I will argue, watch what happens is the best late night television show there is. It absolutely is. Yeah. I want to hear George Clooney go on Kimmel and talk about how he did his own stunts on his last movie. No. Or what he's doing in Darfur.

It's like, George. George, come on. Mm-hmm. You know? I'd much rather have some like, I don't know, Broadway actress that I don't know, go on there and mix it up with Andy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's way better.

But listen, we are here. Kaelin, thank you for innovating. Thanks, Kaylin. Yeah, happy to. Smart TV. Dumb phone. Have you heard about this? No.

Well, we'll talk about it later. Let's get into below deck. This season is firing on half its cylinders. Yeah? Yeah. I've joked about this, but I am serious. when I say this. I'm concerned for paying guests, crew members, anyone aboard this vessel. Like, they're seriously concerned for their safety. I love the casting people. I think it's a married

couple that cast this show. Yeah. And they do a great job because they have a nice balance of people, different archetypes, and always one incompetent idiot. This time they've pushed too far. We have two people that have no idea what the fuck they're doing. And this might just get some people killed. They're not green. They're like blue and yellow still diverging. That's how they're not even green. They don't know what they're doing. Hey, you hear that? That's one of the meanest fucking things I've ever heard anybody say about somebody. Holy shit. Yeah. Green would imply they actually understand the job, but they're still learning it. These two. Your primary colors. Yeah. Your primary colors. You're not even green. You're like, you know, like a lime turns green, but it's yellow first.

yeah that's what they are um wow sorry um okay i completely agree with you but i will say and it's funny you should say lime because your buzz ball again it's buzz ball friday it looks like a grenade from halo it's the it's the most lime i've ever seen um okay it's yeah it's science fiction shit so anyways i um pots wise half of the i would say actually the entire exterior department has no clue what's going on they're not all primary colors but um but yeah it is a dangerous thing now i'm not wishing um bodily harm or anything you know too catastrophic but i think it would be great for us in the show if this yacht uh crashed at some point uh maybe everybody got away safely, but it would be a big news story. People would be watching below deck, and it actually

would be, come on, would it not be thrilling television? It would be. We've seen a vessel actually run up against rocks, I think. I think that was season two of sailing. Give me more. Give me more. But anyways, yeah, we'll break down all the incompetence, but I want to talk about jizzy really quickly. I know that the sea rats listened to the show, and it's a little bit tough, but You know, we have to echo our own hearts, our own minds, and what people come to the show for. Unbelievably annoying, young woman. I mean... You like how she held out for three episodes that she has a boyfriend named Tommy?

Yeah, Tommy, who is very active, he's an active participant in this show's narrative. Not a fan of that. Not a fan of these games. Not a fan, period. I'm going to give it zero pots. Zero pots. It was the traffic. It's the traffic.

I'm not mad at you for that. You had said, I know you're upset at me or so. I'm not upset with you. It's fine. Let's have a great show. Kalen, did I talk any shit about, uh... It's not about talking shit, okay? It's how you feel about yourself.

You feel guilty. And that's okay. Can I tell you? I feel a little bit guilty. Okay. Dylan, when you and I, and this is a therapy session, decided to lay off each other, our relationship hasn't been better for the past two years. I don't care that you are late. It's fine.

You know what? I'm not, I'm not that late that often. That's right. You know, but I did go into a pot store. Okay. Now that, that's a little upsetting. Okay. Hang on. Hang on a second. Hang on a second. I went into a pot store and I had timed it out. I had 10 minutes to go into this pot store because believe it or not, I left early. Okay. I just need to get this off my chest. Okay. I go into the pot store, and I have 10 minutes to go in and out. And I'm well within the window. I'm in there.

I'm seven minutes on my way out. I don't have a debit card. She says the ATM takes credit. It doesn't take credit. I go through two cards. It's sunk cost fallacy. I got to get the stuff. I can't just walk out.

I drove up here, almost killed everyone, and pulled in to this small, small spot to get this pot. And then I'm trying all these cards, and then I go back to the counter. That's when she goes, we accept Venmo. I go, you tell me now? So that pushed me, that pushed me three to four minutes over the allotted window. I said, I'm going to be a little bit late.

It's fine. And then I tried to get up the hill, and it never worked. And everyone's gardening and all the roads are closed, and people are dead in their cars on the side of the road. I got one for you. Last Sunday, we're having another couple over. It's parents of Elliott new school. So I want to impress them.

Wife dispatches me to go get a, what's this green fruit called? I don't even know what it is. It's like related to a cantaloupe. Honeydew. A honeydew. So I go over to Ralph. Such a specific request. I go and she's looked up and she was going to make a margarita out of it.

So I go buy a couple things at Ralph's and I'm looking around. There are several lines there and I see this old guy. He's in line. and he only has a few items. So, of course, I get behind him. And then I'm in a GEICO commercial. This old fuck turns to me and goes, sounds like you're having a party too.

He's chatting up the cashier. Don't ask me anything. Don't ask me anything. He's chatting up the cashier like he's got all day and no place to go. And then as I think, oh, and then he's whipping out one credit card after a time searching for it. Have the card out.

And then finally, finally, when I think the transaction is just about, so I get the fuck out of there because I'm going to be late. He whips out a stack of coupons. Right, right, right, right. You, you sometimes, you cannot plan for what is to come. And I don't know if that means just always be scared of what is to come.

Always game plan for what is to come because it is crazy out there. So anyway. I'll tell you what's to come. A great recap of this goddamn show. Zero knots. Is that what you give it to? I'll give it 10. Can I say something?

Yeah. I do think you were being funny. I was. Yeah, like if we had just given it zero pauses and moved on. I'll tell you why, because Nate is, I'm, I'm very intrigued by Nate because it's a new Nate this season. Kind of. Well, he was such a like, like, happy go lucky, like golden retriever. Yeah.

And then he got Gale. And then in between seasons, he decided to be a pig. And now he's like, uh, I'm not like a horn dog, inconsiderate son of a bitch now that's not new to us we're very familiar with that type of type of bosen you know yeah yeah but uh if i'm his best friend i'm going to go with gail you climbed mount everest uh the future for you everything else is now going to be on a climbing wall with boogers like it's gale was the apex sir and imagine going from that to that no one likes boogers not a fucking person likes boogers no so anyways um we'd be

begin with the French and tattoo, uh, fighting. And this is where, uh, what's his name, Nathan? Oh, yeah, he has to, uh, mediate. Yeah, yeah, he's got to jump in and go, hey guys, enough fighting. Yeah, I think he calls him, uh, and I agree with this sentiment. I think he called them pussies. Did he really? Yeah, I think he called them cats, but I would pay to watch these two idiots fight because there'd be a lot of scratching and slapping and then someone would cry. I don't know. I think, I mean, we'll get some C-Rat history later with that, too. I mean, I mean he'll punch somebody in the face for nothing oh you just wait for my rating on that one just wait all right uh jizzy says i'm gonna get fucked up tonight because the guests have departed at

this point and um v cannot clean anything sandy's wife calls and just says like you're so fucking hot i fucking love this shit i do i love that but you know i've been thinking about this because it reminded me i had this idea if i ever become a text wizard you know people with these long-distance relationships, like an ocean separates them. A text wizard. Tech, tech wizard. I'm going to invent a robot hand that wax you off and your partner controls it. A lot of people, it will save a lot of long-distance relationships.

Yeah, yeah. And then you can say thank you after, and it can bring you closer together while being long distances apart. What would you call it? Hand job. No, no, no. That's a real good idea. idea though yeah oh yeah i mean we're like they're inventing things now that i don't think like a lot of

people need but this definitely it would serve a purpose yeah there's a big market for it uh sea rats i don't think they could afford it uh all right so uh kerman has a house she needs to make money so that she can take care of it let me break down the game film yeah kerman is trying to coach her team up because... Do you mind if I have a tic-tac real quick? Go for it. By the way, do you know how fucking... Canaan, do you mind?

Go ahead. You're going to crunch a tic-tac? No, I'm not going to crunch one. I'm just... Do you know how expensive those are? People, have you... Are you a fan of tic-tac? Tick-tacks are $5.

Now, the white tic-tac is... It's an unrivaled mint. What is going on with... What is worth $5 in those things? Uh, the flavor. the rattle, the, the, the chatter. You know, once they're in, they kind of feel like pop rocks that you can control. You know what I mean?

My wife likes the mixed colored ones with the green and the orange. Those are disgusting. And she, uh, she's admitted that she uses it as like a diet tool because the tic tacks, there's no calories in there. And then she just crunches away. I bought her- You just eat tic-tacks your whole life. I bought her a box for her birthday.

It was one of her presents. That's how much she loves tic-tacks. And it was like 50 bucks. well that I think the fruity ones are more expensive they're more exotic oh they are okay back to kermit so um she's doing some basic math here kermit she's got to coach up her team because uh clean beds means bigger tips and big tips pay for indoor plumbing because her and her fiance have been shitting in buckets for five years yeah and they just have that's just what's been going on they've been going around the um the world the united states of america and then other parts of the world just

shitting in buckets and falling head over heels in love so uh yeah goals uh asia tea bags jizzy um what were these old balls and how were they sticking out of her pants like that so long i don't know what item it was it was kind of blurred out for some reason maybe like a sensor sensors didn't like the image of that uh maybe it was like a piece of gum or something that's a big piece of gum well i'll say this um she's really pushing uh the limits of that non-existent maritime law. Teabagging a subordinate, I don't know if people follow the news, but Lizzo had to pay a lot of money, and all she did was ask a couple employees to put bananas up there, hoo-haws.

Remember that one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Regarding teabagging, this is a good time to leave us a five-star review on Apple. If you've ever teabagged someone, leave us five stars and tell us about it. Right, right, right. Yeah. I don't know how these sea rats get so familiar so quickly. I mean, to go from hi, my name is to teabagging, two days later is like they get so close.

It's nuts. So cheers to Charter 1. We, I can't remember. Well, first, let's talk about Nathan and Frenchy who are fighting over. Well, they're in the vans and they're discussing with Kermit like Frenchie does not like Christian. He's very green. and he wants him fired and Kermit says look he probably should be fired but encourages Nate to give him a shot. Give him a shot and what we should say that we're going out to eat at this point

Frenchie shoulder checks tattoo out of the way. We'll not let him in the van. And then we get to Nathan and Frenchie and the fight over Jizzy. And Nathan says, you know, I'm a bosen but I'm also a fucking party animal. Yeah. No, you don't, you don't want to do that if you're Bosen. You know, we've seen that pitfall before, right? Because you're, you know, look at what Frazier does. He goes out.

He has some drinks with the sea rats. They'll try to kill you if you don't. They'll think you'll weird and stuff like that. So you have to blend in. But being a total party animal and a manager is like, oh, God. Yeah. Nate, get out of there. Get out of there.

It's so weird. So Frenchie, after the charter is going to do. Ah, this is talk at the dinner table. Yes. Oh, okay. This was interesting. If you don't mind, Dylan, I'll take the reins here.

I'm going to do a meanwhile of all the various interesting things discussed. Oh, I love that. Okay. At the restaurant, the team gets to know one another. Is this their first dinner out? Oh, it is. Okay. All right.

So here we go. Nate is best friends with the girl that he dumped. That's Gail. Max is becoming a hypnotherapist. And Kizzy wants to decorate her mom. muff like an eight-year-old's jewelry box. Yeah. Yeah, she wants to bedazzle her muff.

Her muff might already done be bedazzled. You know, I was losing track of it a little bit. She was talking about piercing. She was talking about jewels. She was talking about all of it. Very foreign stuff. But these are the kinds of games that... She's playing games, but Dill, I do believe I would tell all the boys on the boat.

She'll have sex with at least one of you. Well, poor Tommy. poor Tommy Tommy's probably watched the show he knows he must know what he's up against here yeah he's up against quite a bit but so is jizzy and so are we all we find out that

she has a boyfriend named Tommy after the vagina talk after everybody's kind of laughing she said she wanted to fuck everyone she said that last episode after after she's done and everybody salivated and really helpful.

She goes, oh, by the way, I love this guy named Tommy. I absolutely love this guy of Tom. Oh, I can't wait until, like, a minute from now when we're talking about it at the club when V, the Latina, starts getting some attention. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so anyways, the chef goes back to the clown mask, and he's crying. He's very upset that she has a boyfriend. I don't, I'm, I, like I mentioned last week, he is incredible. at what he does. So far. I'm a little concerned about the quality of the food that's coming out right now.

But I don't want to be mean, but we've had this before. The nerd kind of esoteric out there kind of guy in the kitchen. You remember, Adrian? Oh, you like my meat? Do you mind grabbing that burger down there? Oh, look where your face is. It's right next to my meat. Yeah.

We've had that, right? And I feel like this is similar and it's a little concerning because, you know, I don't know. I feel like we can get. You know what my favorite chef was was chef Ruby, Truby. Truby, Chef Truby. Who's that? He was the Scottish guy. He was like.

Jack Truby. Jack Truby. Yeah, yeah. He was great. Yeah, he was great. All right. So anyways, we, yes. Well, I was going to say the boys have a Siggy.

Yes. Max and, well, I love Max because he has a workaround after hearing the really upsetting news that Jizzy has a boyfriend. He says, oh, I have an idea. Let's just pretend her boyfriend doesn't exist. It's a pretty good idea. Right? Out of sight, out of mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you can really, like, build up a psychic wall, that's a, that's a superpower. I mean, you just completely don't care about Tommy. He doesn't exist. Maybe he is a hypnotherapy. Well, and then I see that they bury the hatchet because nothing helps bury the hatchet with coworkers better than a thoughtful discussion about which female co-worker you'd like to have sex with. Yeah, it was kind of crazy how it was a little locker room talk out here. Oh, yeah. Come on, just lock a room. You know, Christians like, Christians, sorry, what I was going to do was an impression of a blonde woman with a cross-rower. around her neck, doing a hit on MSNBC, just saying that it's locker room talk.

And then the Democrats are just blowing out of proportion. Okay, but anyways. You know, we have power, you know? They just let you fucking grab their pussy. Got to win. Got to win. So Christian Tattoo is like, you guys are missing V. She's got an extremely nice body.

And then we get some C-Red history with Tattoo, aka. and wherein we learned that he'll punch anybody in the face. That's right. Now, this is, I'm going to break this down, Del. Yeah. Christian shares about the last time he got in like a street fight, and it was when a complete stranger out of nowhere grabbed his nose. So he, of course, he had not, what else he's going to do,

but knock him out, I punch him. Now, I would give him a point for creativity, Dylan, but that's not what the scale is. The scale is about sadness. So had he killed that man with that single punch, then his family in retaliation came for him cut off his wang like that dude

and doing the thrones that's half a point because it really suck losing your way oh my gosh it would be horrible walking around like what's the point of living I mean I'd find purpose I guess I'd be a farmer oh yeah no we'd definitely find purpose

urinating would be just a whole new world imagine growing carrots that's all you and then you're like looking at the carrot I think I'll grow grapes Yeah. Or you just continue to grow carrots. And it's like this psychological punishment. And you didn't have anything to do with it. But you blame yourself. And it's kind of like this opus day kind of lifelong torment. Now that's sad. And a point. But I want to say, should people that walk around and grab people's noses not be punched in the face?

I would punch you too. Oh, yeah. No. The problem is, I can't stand. that shit. The detail that Christian left out was he was staring at that guy. Oh yeah. You think? Like that just have you ever had a stranger grab your nose out of nowhere, Dylan? I think there are a lot of, a lot of pranksters

out there. It's all the rage right now. Now this sounds like a good old fashion like, you know, true nomad, a true jester, right? Just kind of running around high on life. But there are these these Jen's ears now that are

going around and just like bothering people in public? Have you seen this? Have you seen this? I mean, look, nothing new anymore. Tom Green used to put microphones in people's faces and it was stuff with dog shit. Great bit. That is a great bit. He asked dogs.

You never heard of that? No. Oh, see, he did for us, man. You TikTokers, man. Yeah. Fuck you. We did it first. That's so crazy.

That's such a funny bit. Dog shit is a really strong smell, though. Fertilizer, I think. People, you could kind of coax them back in. You can get yourself through that. That's cow poxed. Dog shit is an immediate, just. Very pungent.

Very pungent. Okay. So, um, we learn that jizzy has three STDs. Tell me more. Tell me more. I've always wanted to date someone that will give me a rash on my lip. that will never go away. It's, it's, um,

wow, we got to be careful about this because she's a free spirit. Okay. We have to be careful about this. Yes, yes. These are, these are curable. She does not have them any longer,

but that's a lie. She has one. For sure. You can't just eradicate like every STD you get, you know? And she got them in one. one sitting well from one probably gross man so got to be careful this is the thing i never understood this i've been on this plan a long time i had sex with a lot of people somehow no i know you've got to get into bed with a real garbage bag to get three SDGs in one trip and then also

after saying this she says that uh Tommy trusts me completely which is kind of i feel are we being Is this Kaylin's job is? Is this too like locker room talk Like gross guy? I don't know. I became president. That's so crazy.

All right. Well, I apologize. It's very funny. Yeah. She's the one who said it. Yeah. Free spirit. All right.

Let's lay off Jizzy for a little bit. But let's not though. Because V is starting to get some attention. And they transition to a nightclub as C rats are want to do. You know, I love the tradition, right? It's a nice, clean base at dinner. You know, you get a couple espresso martinis,

and then you really start to throw back vodka. But, yeah, V is dancing her little tush off, and Jizzy sees this, and she won up, sir. She won't stand for that. No, she won ups her. She throws her leg over Asia, and she says her for a few moments. She starts twerking her ass onto Asia, And Asia, and Asia immediately dives into the butthole.

And I think that this is just kind of an Aussie. I think they have a more blasé fair attitude about the whole thing. I've always said this. I was in butthole after two days is crazy. And all our Aussie listeners and fans out there, take this as a compliment. Australia is America's slutty little sister. It really is. They do it better over there.

More fun. They have so much more fun. It's probably because all those fucking animals that are trying to kill them and stuff. You know, life feels short. Got great whites. Oh, yeah. You got those evil...

That surrounds the island. And then you got those... Can't even get off. Big rats that stand on their two feet and they can punch you. They can kick you in the face so they can take your dog. Yeah, and then when you try and punch them,

like, ooh-bo-bo-bub. There's a baby in this pouch. Right, right, right. Not the stomach. Yeah, they're manipulative and violent. Kangaroos. Disgusting. Okay, so we head back to the boat.

Tattoo takes his ass out in the car. That was pretty gross. Frenchie is trying to hypnotize tattoo when we get back, which is odd. They kind of have a very yo-yo-like quality to their relationship. But I would say to Frenchie that, you know, he said that he's going to school for it. But I think anybody can hypnotize somebody who's blacked out. Yeah. Yeah.

I wasn't impressed. And clearly it didn't work out by their interaction the next day. Yeah. Yeah, well, again, he's going to school for it. So, Nathan, I think we wake the next day. He calls his best friend. He calls his best friend. He FaceTime.

Who he cheated on. Look, it's pretty cool when you're on TV. You know, people hit you up in their DMs, and you have Mount Everest, and you're ready to go on that climbing wall. There's a bugger, though, and they're asking me if I want to go get drinks. And they want to fly out to where you are to have sex with you. Of course, who's going to turn that down? Yeah. not Nathan

So we rise for the next morning After what I have to say was Was fairly anticlimactic I thought that they were going to pour that sacred water The holy water The holy water Yeah They did not

They foregoed that It's a thick water It's thicker than other waters Because these sea rats need buoyancy When they're sucking each other off So it's a little lending hand, but listen, we got to get to the next day and a preference sheet meeting with iPads. Now, this is a repeat guest, Jack. Yeah, now, Dill, they title him or give him the title of socialite.

All I, I've never looked up what the word is, but all I can put my finger on is what a socialite is a rich person that likes the party. Yeah, it's a rich extrovert. Okay. That's cool. Yeah, I think that a true socialite, there's philanthropy that's injected in. Right. Gotcha. So, yeah, he's one of those. He's also a basic bitch. White party and truffles, that's, uh, that means you're a basic bitch.

Yeah, B squared. Mm-hmm. I can be squared. Um, we, we do roll back on Aisha's time with him. And I saw, uh, a, uh, an old face that I hadn't seen in some time. Culver. Lego head. Lego head.

I hate that guy. I know we've had several guests on here. We got to talk to him that have interacted. And they're, yeah, he's a nice guy. But I don't think they actually believe that. I think they think he's a Lego head and annoying.

He stole a Miller Light ad and then was calling himself that. It was an act that he used like four times. If I was Miller, I would have sued him, but he's so irrelevant. They didn't care. Do you know what we're talking about? He put this like...

I know Culver, but I don't know the ad. Oh, God. Colver, you can fuck the right off, man. Yeah, Pat is not a fan of Culver. No. Do you remember when he printed out that Will you be my girlfriend card? Yeah.

To Jemay. Private school girl. Oh, yeah. Memory Lane, is there anything better? No. They want travel. He's a basic bitch. And there was a little bit of an issue. here um sandy sees some dirty boat parts parts of the boat that are dirty have you ever seen sandy

do an inspection before charter guests show up no why do you ask well captain carry started that trend because no other captain before him even gave a fuck then he started pre guess showing up to the boat would walk around and inspect it captain sandy's doing that sandy as a leader you don't you're not a follower okay yeah you are the leader you're following uh something that uh captain carey did yeah yeah fucking i'm what the fuck i'm tony robbins over here yeah she gave a pretty dumb uh uh uplifting uh advice to what was that date she's like when you do things in front of people Nate okay they're gonna follow you okay and that's going to make them better wow I guess I don't need to I don't need to read a self-help book ever again.

No, no, no, no. Sandy's chock full of that. I mean, there's a world where in, I think that she may have done, like, kind of cursory stuff, but... Oh, she was. She was on the speaker circuit for a bit. Okay, so anyways, we have an issue here, though, because Sandy's on her new rounds that she's taking

because she's been inspired by a Bravo competition, evidently. there's been a communication breakdown. Frenchie asked them to do this. Tattoo told Tessa not to do it, and this escalates into quite a little bust up between the two of them again. Oh, I'd say, Christian said he wants to kill him. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and then Max, very upset. Nate is once again called upon to mediate this issue. He threatens to tell on both of them to Sandy. If I'm the Bosen, and this may be controversial, I just let them drink while they work because everyone's happier while they're drunk. These two get along swimmingly when they're wasted. That's such a good point. Right?

Yeah, it's kind of crazy. Like, would the guests be safer with them sober or drunk? You know, Dill, that's a great question. Yeah, I think it's a bit of a toss-up. You know what else is a toss-up? Actually, it's not a toss-up. this great sponsor, Loomie! Oh, Loomy Labs are the absolute best.

Pat, when is your favorite time to take a Loomie Lab? Well, at night, like, I was going to make it like I was going to, like, party and stuff. But actually, I use it as a sleep aide. It helps me get the most restful sleep I've ever had in my entire life. Can I tell you something? And I don't know if this is a good advertisement for Loomie, but, you know, I felt a little bad because I couldn't get to sleep the other night. Yeah.

It was like 11, 30, 12 o'clock at night. Gotta wake up at six with the child. I take a loomie. I go, I gotta go to bed. I don't get up till like eight o'clock the next morning. It helped you sleep that well? I just entered into another universe for eight hours. My wife was like, what is going on?

I need help. And I'm like, oh, I felt bad, but I feel rested. Wow. That's what Loomie does, Del. Yep. Loomie is a very, very powerful company. They're consistent. They're mellow and they're super delicious.

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I just wasn't feeling myself. I was chatting to some friends and one of the. suggested I check out VHI Women's Health Clinic. I saw their women's health GP who connected me with a health coach for my sleep and diet and a psychologist for support. I was so relieved

to have all these services in arms reach. VHI because your health means everything. All right. The guests arrive. And Paloma's are flowing. Welcome to Bravado. We haven't talked about the name of this vessel.

One of my favorites for some time. Bravado. Yeah, because it's a word, and we know what it, we can pronounce it. Parsifle. What the fuck is parsifle? Yeah. This douchebag, he's brought 40 shoes and lots of luggage. I don't even think they let you wear shoes on this boat unless it's dinner time.

You know what I mean? Everyone's barefoot. Yeah, yeah. And if the yacht were to tip over and crash, shoes don't help you. You can't swim in, what are you going to put 40 pairs of shoes on to go swimming? That doesn't make any sense. So, just all around, just crazy stuff. But the guests are chilling.

V is really excelling. And Asia is really scared. Ah, I remember that. Kalyn? He didn't watch the episode yet. It's where she does that. They gave her like the music stab to where she's like, ah. Oh, she's scared of a chef flipping out.

Oh. Well, we'll see. All right. So everything, we drop lunch and it's a Spanish feast. And the chef comes up and says, everything on this table is from Spain. Um, none of it's from Spain.

Well, it's all Spanish food, but are we going to break these dishes down? Are you just going to throw fucking slop on the table and go, this is all from Spain. I want to know what kind of paella it is. He had anchovy toasts out there. We could have gone through an entire menu. How was the cook on that, uh, saccharot? I didn't, I didn't get to see the saccharot.

Uh, the, that's the, uh, I believe the rice that, uh, provides the crispy rice. Yes, yes, yes, yes, sticky, sticky, sticky, the Spanish version of Tadik. Mm-hmm. So anyways, I'm a little disappointed in that. They just throw it on the fucking table, say this is all from here. Anyways, we get to more of a meltdown on deck. Tattoo and Christian, or not tattoo, Tessa and Christian are two of the most useless deck hands we've seen in some time.

Tessa is bizarre. She came from a boating family, but she doesn't know how to do anything, yet she constantly talks about how, if she was in charge of this, the whole picture would come together. It's like a loony tunes. Yeah, as much as I'd like to break Nate's balls because I'm so jealous that you got to have sex with Gail, I got to give him some grace here. They really did fuck him with these two people. There's no time running around that boat to teach these people.

No. What they need to do. No. And especially when you have someone like Christian who's not only incompetent but also combative. Yeah. When Max is your number one guy, you're really fucked. You're fucked. You're fucked.

That's what he's got. Up Shits Creek. And he got there late. He's running around in a fucking buzzsaw. And there's just no way for him to succeed. But we get to dinner. It's going to be a truffle dinner. And this is when I get a little concerned about this caricature pet.

Talking about mushrooms and allivated consciousnesses and stuff like that. Right. Sea rats do psychedelics at raves. and they do them to fuck it raves, okay? We don't need people in Birkenstocks on this boat. Right. Well, I'm glad you pointed that out. That's a direct quote.

He said that Dewen Shrooms raised his consciousness. Well, you're a sea rat cooking for a bunch of assholes. So how'd that work out? Smarty pants. Well, when you kill your ego, you are allowed to find the pleasures and what you find the pleasure in. But we don't need Birkenstocks on this boat. And listen, I love this guy.

I think he's right. But, I mean, come on. We did omit one little detail that happened earlier in the day. a sea rat floated off to China because I don't know and Sandy doesn't like being embarrassed so yeah that pissed Sandy off don't piss her off um so we have a little bit of an issue at dinner but first we have C-Rat history with Jizzy who she she says that she used to be a dancer and that because of the kind of just non-stop adoration she got during performing that she's gotten used to it and she always wants praise.

You know, I'm not really, I'm not going to call jizzy as bad as the general from the Patriot, played by Jason Isaacs. Yeah. But, you know, there's not a ton redeemable so far. Yeah, I believe her good critique on her table scapes prompt her saying she used to dance professionally. Who gives a fuck? Honestly.

Hey. Do better. Hey, who gives a fuck? Do better. I'm swearing a lot. I apologize. All right. So one of the plates that is dropped at the white party.

At the white party. It is a fish dotted with truffle. And the chef has made mention that you have to curate these flavors in the right way. Otherwise, the amplification doesn't exist, right? So he serves a fucking piece of fish with risotto on top and then puts some silver dollars of truffle on it. again, not as good of a night from him. But one of the plates does not have truffle. They're pissed off, okay.

This is not okay. Oh, no, this is not okay. This is not cool. A lot of, I think Jack's persona is he's a man of a certain standard in ilk. And when he doesn't get top-tier service, he feels like a dumb-dum in front of his fake friends. He feels like a disgusting, gross, poor normal person, right? But he is not. Did Max eat the truffles that were left?

He was eating something in that galley that he shouldn't have been eating. Who's Max? The French. The French guy. No, I think he just... What's this? What's this? What is this?

I can't hypnotize. He ate something there, and I thought for a moment that that was the last of the truffles. Well, the French would just pop truffles just straight in their mouth. But Jack moves on to caviar bumps and vodka. He's having a really, really good time. And then we hit the bed. he wants some seshuan chicken because it's healthy in bed which is absolutely insane we've gotten sandwiches and grilled cheese before we've never can you imagine just asking a stewardess a white person in a polo shirt can you make me seshuan chicken oh sure actually i'm going to bring you some peaking duck or something do you do you how much hoisin do you want yeah what i would have done is I would have said,

you want those pills, right? Those pain mats? Give me a second. I would have, like, he's so drunk, he would know.

Yeah. I'd give him a sleeping medication. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd take those and I'd just go sit and watch television for him to go to bed.

Seshwan chicken. Go to bed. All right, we get some C-Rat history. We'll read the next day for the next morning. And I don't know how the British do this shit.

Guy goes to bed at four o'clock in the morning, wakes up at five o'clock in the morning. Tea? He has a cup of tea. Wow. He's living off inspiration. I would need cocaine. I know. I don't know how they dig. Tea is just not, it's not a stimulant. We get some C-Rat history with Tessa, she was a troublemaker in her past. Truly an uninspiring, C-Rat story.

No. But then we get, you're, it's palpable disappointment. Big time. Yeah, I'm so sorry. Yeah, it's all right. all right so we we get a series of unfortunate events with christian real fucking lemony snicket break down here okay so he gets a he heads down to get the jetsky out right and he's just not doing it properly so he's fucking up just everything you're referring to tattoo a k a christian damn then santi throws an inflatable chair at him he literally just watches it fly past him She said she was going to throw it down to him.

Yeah. And then did not catch it, just sails past him. Then he gets on the jet ski, and he heads out to China. And the crazy thing about this is how chill he is about the entire thing. They're like, Christian, what's going on? You're super far out there. He's like, um, just won't turn on. Yeah, that's because you didn't charge it, asshole.

Well, Christian, we're going to. We're going to need to send the tender out and tell, yeah, I don't know. I mean, it just won't turn on. How do you remain- How do you remain so just apathetic about the entire thing? I think because he doesn't have nerve endings. There's something that goes way deeper. If anybody was ever fucking lying about their past, an airplane pilot that left that

lifestyle. I love that, yeah. There's something going on there. I will say this. If you're a paying guest and you see the jet ski float away with a employee on it, this is your canary in a coal mine, moment where you're like, that bird is fucking dead and I should get off

this bro to be, because we're all going to die. Yep, get in the comments, let us know what you thought about the episode. Check us out. Monday nights, 10 o'clock, Pacific. That's when the YouTube episode is going to. That's right. So if you want to get in there. And old Patty will be in that.

Kalin, you said you'd be in there too, maybe. That's right. I'll be in there. Bad TV YouTube channel. Subscribe now and it'll pop up right when, right when you click over to YouTube after your other street. And what's the YouTube page? Bad TV.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you guys so much for everything. If you want to hear, oh, guys, we'll talk about it on Housewives. Love is Blind. We'll talk about love is blind. Have you been watching it? No. They cast a guy that is full autism on that show.

All right. Go ahead and flag that for me, Kail. And that's it for us. Jove in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode five stars, kind words. Real Housewives of Salt Lake and Traders at patreon.com slash another podcast. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye.

Dailant. Thank you.