Kill James Bond! - Lee, Let Them Be | Below Deck S10 E1

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

Dylan and Pat are back for a brand new SEASON of Below Deck Reg. We talk Bane, Rachel's intellectual property theft, the importance of stripes, how big this boat is and much more from Bravo's Below Deck Reg.OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING WINTER HOUSE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.com

Look out at the gas, the notes. The gasser is drunk as a four-packered goat. Nope, that sucks. First off, it's dumb. Goats don't get drunk. Second, it makes no sense. welcome aboard another brand spanking new season of another below deck podcast i'm dylan settled up next to one pat hickey permission to come aboard permission granted see daddy permission granted thanks for having me on i am really hey thanks for having me on you too i am really really excited to get into this season it's the franchise that we started with it is og for a reason and i don't want to get ahead of my thoughts and pots, but I think that we've got a good looking ball of snakes here. I think that we've got a good looking ball of snakes. I think we've got a lot of potential, but do we have any public service announcements to get out of the way?

Okay. So you get two below deck shows a week now for fucking free. You get a below deck adventure and you got this thing. So help the sponsors out and support. You know, again, we talk about we're not... The Cheapos didn't win. We're doing it... No, no.

Okay, go ahead. They frustrate me. I got to remind these guys. You got to go over to the other feed, Bad TV, and your Apple Podcasts, Spotify, whatever the fuck it is. Just go over there and subscribe to Bad TV and your apple podcast or spotify whatever the fuck it is just go over there and subscribe to bad tv where uh we're recapping winter house which is a wonderfully horrible reality tv show having a lot of fun making hay out of that yeah and then we also

sprinkle in episodes of bachelor in paradise and love is blind season three and we need you guys to tell us what to do next yeah we're running out of uh those episodes are only episodes are dwindling so let us know what you want us to cover next and we will probably ignore it and do what we want so um let's get into the premiere episode of season 10 well we can get into the episode but i gotta get my thoughts and knots oh of course we have to start with thoughts and pots go ahead how about How about that, Camille? What do you mean? I feel like that was leading. There's always a Sea Rat hybrid

that's a special Sea Rat. You know what I mean? What do you mean by this? Well, they're created just to you know, well, typically a Sea Rat is here to, as you always point out, thrust incompetence on paying customers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But a special hybrid Sea Rat is one here to as you always point out uh thrusting competence on paying customers yeah yeah yeah but a special hybrid sea rat is one here to drive fellow sea rats mad okay and that's what camille

is i think she's perfectly cast for that role she absolutely is and i think uniquely cast because isn't she the one that they said that she can work on the deck and clean plates and toilets? We're going to get to this. I find it odd that she, of all people, and I don't mean to profile, but she just doesn't strike me as the kind of person with the temperament that can handle that kind of waffling back and forth, just because of the interpersonality of the entire thing. You have two different groups of people to work with.

You're not really a part of it. We're going to get into it. Yeah, we'll get into it. We'll get into it. Okay. Okay. I'm scrambling right now because there's so many thoughts here. I once again thought about this show and how like new people watching it, like a husband and wife sitting in bed. They're like, it's one of those shows where if you're just looking at the like the majesty of the vessel and all the the views that you see yeah you'd be like ah hey honey someday you know maybe he's a plumber she you know works right we can save up and maybe we can talk six other friends sure to cobble together 60 grand or something yeah maybe get a deal with bravo or whatever will be the guest here where

you can mock and then if you really watch the episode like 15 minutes in and you hear like people like fraser going oh my god they are the worst people out of those pieces of shit and also the dinner being an hour and a half late because the chef four times rage is just in fuck it mode right now then you just say you know what let's just let's just go on carnival it is i gotta say carnival is one of the great petri dishes on planet earth right and you are trapped in endless buffet lines of pig trough shit and there are casinos with three dollar minimums and that's fine it sounds like a lot of fun so much more fun and so much more economically sound a hundred percent this fucking cruise so don't do it plumber who's watching don't

do it anyone who's watching for the first time just enjoy this boat which has nice paint and shit bones go ahead oh yeah i gotta tell you the episode there's a lot of people here i you know as i have to recap it sure there's like 10 people that work on this fucking boat yeah i counted 45 i can't keep track but that that doesn't matter uh they're sea rats uh yes the uh the ball of snakes is definitely going to happen this season um i don't know uh four four four knots yeah how could you give it anything more anything less i mean i like i said have a lot of, I have high hopes for this season. The only thing that can ruin it is liaisons, of which there were just too many tonight.

We get it. We get it. You know, the captains bat, they have a pretty good batting average. I mean, we love Captain Glenn from Below Deck Sailing, despite his insatiable appetite for whore blood and Captain Sandy has really turned a corner now. She a for

improvement. Lee has stagnated at awful for a long time now. He's he's stuck in Lee. He can't look. There's a point where you know you're old. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Now try to teach an ancient one new tricks. Okay. You know what? I know we're just getting off on the show. This is actually- Five pots. Four pots.

Sorry. I was interrupting. No, go ahead. This is actually his thing, his little pep speech. He goes, you know, his typical bullshit. He's like, two rules. I'm in my boat, okay? When you're eating my fucking asshole i like my balls

played with i'm old they're really low but that's not my problem that's for you to figure out second no fucking vibrator touches the ass just the tongue vibrators are for pussies so this is something that i wasn't and i i don't want to turn off new listeners. Oh, right, but it's something that I learned, you know, the male genitalia does kind of concede to gravitational pull, right? Because is it tensile strength kind of decays over a while and you get shit on your balls. You really you get shit on your balls you really you get shit on your balls it's really unbelievable that's why i'm definitely going into cosmetic surgery as it starts to happen but lee is past his knees at this point and there's nothing wrong with that but the man's

back is giving out his mind gave out a long time ago we gotta get him off the show. So let's get into. I'm kidding. Lee's fun is awesome. Two rules. Wow. Two rules. A lot of plane tickets. So we I don't know how to do this because we kind of had what we had.

Oh, what we have with the bachelor where we have packages. Yes. So I think we just hit some packages at the top. Let's just go through the sea rats okay all right so um first up we've got captain lee i think we've covered him yeah in detail shitting in balls stuff like that um the mercenary chef is up next uh she's going to kill the shit out of stuff and make everyone's tip bigger and those are what the children call big facts that's just what thems is you know she's a very very talented woman she is kind of the

patron saint of this show ever since kate left she called the bag of flour a piece of shit and said she was going to stab it yep so entertainment uh frazier is back and has been crowned the king. Well, maybe see right prince or just chief stew. Yeah, power brother be wearing no. One of us was staying in the record.

I don't know why Bain gets why does Bain get me? I don't know why Bane gets it. Why does Bane get me? No, brother. Stay behind. The planes crashing. That's ridiculous.

Yes, brother. All right. So the bosun is up next i believe his name is ross he comes from the old school of yachting uh work hard play hard est uh he has a six pack he has an accent he has a hawthorne heights haircut he is a perfect trap for other sea rats yes he's not available though ladies because he has work to do on himself he will break hearts i am here for it alissa is up next she wants to hook up love that yeah she just wants to hook up attention is a dream um i think she is marvelously cast if we've got some romantic conflict with her and then we already have this kind of immense and intense feuding with camille uh straight out of the gate this is going to be a good i think you know good good so you got 10 people at nine not counting lee because he isn't going to fuck anybody um yeah camille's up next uh small town mississippi gal loves to twerk and she loves to have fun perfect uh we've also got ben and we've

got katie uh then we've got tony um yes bro i love these birds um another incredible set of ads we've got abs we've got a lot of really powerful abdominal stuff and i think that you know um this isn't new york fashion week but um we've got some pretty good looking people here oh yeah um you know hey good and damaged. That's what you need in a C-Rod. Oh, it's all here. All the pieces are here. Yeah. All of them are here. You know, Hayley is the only one that I think is, just by her talking, is going to annoy me.

A little bit of Hayley goes a long way. What, the Pisces stuff? It wasn't Pisces. She's actually a June baby, a Gemini, I think. Oh, got it. Yeah, yeah. One of those broke my heart. You know, she cheated on me yeah she

convinced me to dump my girlfriend so i could live with her yeah and two weeks later said i couldn't go to thanksgiving dinner with our gemini the two-faced ones yes yep it's like those two uh things that a tray you has to get past in the never-ending story that's what that woman was yeah never-ending story that's what that woman was yeah never-ending story alcor so um hayley a sensational stunning hot mess crazy bitch she is ariel on crack pad i have to say i'm liking it i'm liking it dude me too me you know this compared to adventure i mean my god the cast of adventure is just Dude, me too. Me too. You know, this compared to adventure. I mean, my God. The cast of adventure is just...

I watch it and I just feel doldrums the entire time. With these sea rats, I feel hope. Well, there's going to be a lot of hope. But also, keep hope alive for adventure. And by the way, I think Dilly and I just recorded one of our best episodes. Oh, yeah. Go listen to that. All right, let me say this. Here's one uh problem with the show we've talked to a lot of sea rats and one of the first questions i always ask them when i get to talk to them is like how'd you end up on the show yeah and they said i went to you know a boat school because i like the show right

and i tried to be a fame whore and uh they accepted application. I can point to at least four people on this season that I think went through that process. Well, Haley's definitely one because she's in aesthetics and she... Well, she's been in and out of the business if you listen to her storyline later on in the episode, but she definitely came back to be on below deck. She wanted her business to get better yeah yeah 100 i also think camille 100 i believe alissa yep 100 and maybe tony or ben yeah maybe although i don't know that there are i feel like the guys are dumber you know the guys that are on the show don't really they go there because they just work in the industry and want to have sex with yeah they don't know how to use the the might of this platform right right right but it is now a platform so it has transformed you know how we watch the show um you know bachelor or bachelorette

or other former uh show that we used to never watch it again uh first 10 years uh people didn't figure out hey you can come on here and actually monetize it and once they did it got really unfun yes exactly so we have not quite yet gotten to that place but um we're just in a perfect little spot with below deck although i will say three of these shows in a week you assholes nobody needs that much of this television program not a single person needs that much of this television program and uh baby barnacles let us know i'm confused about when this stuff comes out you know it's like peacocks dropping a week early or is it on bravo at the same time it's like when does adventure actually air i have no idea when wednesdays but are we a week behind on p we're a week ahead on peacock

we're a week ahead on peacock okay thanks We're a week ahead on Peacock. Okay. Thanks for clearing that up. It's for all the podcasters, you know. Yeah, exactly. So their PR team, who is incompetent, does not have to set reminders. Hey, Peyton, you better let us have fucking... What's her face?

What's her nose on here next week? Or we're going to have problems again. Yeah, we've got a guest lined up. We will never once again say who that guest is because there is a 95 chance that they will see rat out where you know it's really an uphill fight trying to book these people because you've got them they're sea rats and then you've got the pr at bravo who are i mean i'll just go ahead and say it they're fucking evil over there we're at war right now and we could sign a treasty

what so moving on the only thing, like I said, that could damage the show is Captain Lee talking about people working to the bone and chewing people's asses. Lee, just fucking let these people fight and fuck, please. Just get out of the way. Let's get into the show. Frazier arrives first while Lee is looking over CVs. He says, why do all of these say they're self-motivated?

Well, because they're C-Rad resumes. It's a resume. It's all creative writing on a C-Rad resume. I mean, there's really almost hardly any truth to these things. They have to fill it in with lies and then professional coloring that they find on TikTok and YouTube. Yeah, I want to see his resume. Hobbies? Yes. tiktok and youtube yeah i want to see his resume uh what is hobbies yes oh that's odd why'd you put that on this so they have a chat uh lee knows that he's going to

shine he wants to uh and frazier wants to be both a friend and a leader we'll see if he strikes that balance. Frazier gets his team and Lee says that Camille is going to be splitting duties. He also says that people are going to be on their fucking knees because this boat is... Lee, we get it. It's huge. Stop. Stop.

You don't own the boat. You work on it. Rachel is up next. Boat daddy permission to come aboard permission granted she josh is about his favorite food i think that she's um i don't know is that intellectual property theft oh ass yeah yeah yeah i mean he says it a lot but i feel like i don't know the i think she listens to us another podcast centric egomania of me would say that it's intellectual property i mean she she stole it from us so uh ross is up next he's playing chess okay he is not going to tell people that he likes group sex right away he's going to

exchange some pleasures and salutations first fucking gary casper of level master over here dude i mean this guy is seeing 50 moves ahead to not immediately say you're into group sex is something that i don't think a lot of people can actually handle but again great abs this guy's got great fucking abs so alissa is on next her goal is to make as much money as possible and mooch off rich people one of those she can definitely achieve definitely her um making money part is not that you can't why do they keep coming here god they're they're they're putting out there this uh this dream of future sea rats to think that they can travel around the

world for free and be millionaires it's like they're walking out of there with like 40k if you work at a nice restaurant i feel like you can position yourself and behave and not be a i feel like annoy your co-workers yeah you go work at horses for a year you'll make more money. Yeah. You go work at horses for a year, you'll make more money. Stop going out to sea, living in tiny quarters with people. Speaking of tiny quarters, no, we'll get there in a bit. So Haley is up next, tits, ass, hair. Then we fill out the rest with Ben, Kate, Camille, and Tony. Now, Ross continues his chess game here. He says that he doesn't like to be with people on his

team, but that he's not very good at doing that. Sounds like three left turns there, buddy. He's referring to Camille when he makes this proclamation. Look, he's not going to try to bang her, but he's probably he probably won't probably won't be able to help himself.

Yeah, so what's the point of saying that right yeah three left turns but i think he'll find a loophole she was working for interior when we fucked she wasn't on the deck oh i like that angle right she wasn't my subordinate listen he is the grandmaster okay it? It doesn't, you know, simpletons like me and you can figure that loophole out. So she was working on Interior When We Fucked. I literally just said that note. So we've got Ohio. The cigarettes are mingling now.

Yeah, yeah. By the way, these first episodes are really tough to recap, Dylan, because trying to get no people, they're bouncing around. They're making these little small little conversations. Yes, and they're nothing conversations. But the subtext here is they're trying to find the soft points in the person they are staring across. Sure, sure, sure.

In a few words. Right. There's a scar underneath the rib cage. That'd be a good spot for entry. Definitely the jugular. You know, just kind of sizing people up. Sure, sure. Well, Katie and Camille, they bond over living in a place where alligators can eat your dogs florida trash right yeah

fucking ohio to fort lauderdale yikes and listen i don't want to shit on the midwest i think it is a disgusting place it's i mean but florida is really giving it a run for its money. Oh, hell yeah. Listen, a lot of people are going to Florida right now. It sounds great. It's very warm, but warm is not the right word. And people from Florida say that it's great weather. It's not great weather.

It's not great weather. No. It's too hot. Every summer you got to leave for two weeks and put uh plywood on your fucking window because a hurricane's coming to fucking uh rip it apart fuck that place and and people who live there will say you know you might think that the plywood doesn't do a lot and it doesn't so um oh can we get to our first look back uh you know on a sea rat yeah sure oh uh first look back on a sea rat it goes pretty uh much the way

i think it would camille yeah from mississippi couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there because people wouldn't invite her to parties because if she attended she'd be the center of attention and it's not like she was trying to be she just likes to be a little extra and not boring yeah then uh she asked is that egotistical yeah it 100 yeah it was yeah you're a narcissist yeah uh by the way i like her logic it was wrong too her story was incorrect can you imagine if every person that was good looking experienced that same experience I can't go anywhere because I'm good looking you know every time I show up at a party they all go you're a center of attention get out of here yeah yeah I love that she asked if the um if the comment was egotistical because therein lies what I think was the issue when she went to all those parties.

Yeah. Sometimes it's just staring you in the face with all your problems. So moving on to the level of excellence required in this line of work, Ross asks his team if they've ever docked. Ben says yes a couple times, and Tony says,

whatever you want, man. I'm good. I'm happy to be here. Happy to be here. So we've got another sit- down with Captain Lee to get to. But before we do, let's take a quick break for a word from our sponsors. Another Below Deck podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp. I wish that life came with a user manual.

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My wife's home. All right. So another sit down with the old man. He's got plane tickets and he's got a lot of venom. Pat, take it away. All right. I lovely because he's always got the same rules. He seems exhausted just sitting down.

Don't embarrass yourself. Don't embarrass the boat. Or I got a pocket of plane tickets. You know, Lee, I've been watching you for, now it's 10 years, they're celebrating his decade on their show. Doing the same thing every time and expecting different results is a fool's errand.

You are a fool you old fuck the body count that embarrasses the boat and ends up on with one of those plane tickets yeah is very astronomically high ewan i think i think he's outpacing fucking captain sandy at this here's the thing he doesn't say that to you know after a couple seasons i think we can break this down finally this isn't a preventative talking to he's just saying what's gonna happen right he's kind of a soothsayer at this point what a little fucking positive reinforcement you old prick and also he doesn't have those plane tickets those plane tickets they're complete it's completely irrational.

They're so expensive now. It's so expensive to change the flight. You'd have to change the flight. Like what day? Like maybe he is a soothsayer and he knows the exact date and time that the person is going to be showing up to the airport, but it doesn't make any sense.

Here's me. I'm a decky old pad. He got hired. You know, I'm like the oldest deck. I got plane tickets for you. Oh, excuse me.

Uh, can you, uh, I wish we had video here. i got my hand raised uh yes oh i'm sorry sir uh can i talk now hey um i'm sorry you mentioned plane tickets in your back pocket do you mind showing them to us i uh is that uh do you uh i just want to see that third thing i don't tolerate is stupid questions. Of course I have them. Well, sir, do you mind if we could all... We've got to get on to safety precautions around the boat. You've got to meet the engineer. We're all going to make Benjamins. So the conversation ends, and I need a meanwhile.

Meanwhile. Frazier is happy with his team. For now, provisions arrive, and Frazier continues to be unbelievably funny with his one-liners um and you know as well as rachel talking or excuse me tackling the big bitch that is this boat i think frazier is unbelievably funny frazier so funny i think he's a trope definitely but there are a lot of tropes there's there you know you can tear out tropes some are funnier than others so um we know uh a little bit about katie c-red history we find out about her half-week carb cut diet thoughts on this diet uh yeah yeah yeah

uh was she trying to starve herself something sounds like something that you'd be into yeah yeah well small town girl it sounds like your diet right right right katie uh small time girl i like katie by the way a small time girl moved to the swamp got into yachting we have not yet scratched the surface of this sea rats past it will be revealed and it will be a story uh for that we all enjoy of course that that sounded like an snl sketch like obvious narrator something will happen and when it does you will see it katie's gonna be fun guys we've got to get the court. We've got to put the ball in the hoop. If we miss, we've got to rebound. Thanks, Coach.

So, it's time. This is awkward. Very. Not just because of that last bit that we did, but because this is our very first of the season, and it's our very first without one real nicholas davis but me and pat are going to try to do his honor proud it's time for the preference shape meeting hang limb an in-demand tax professional boring okay they want an all-day birthday celebration

with his face everywhere fuck jesus if he knows that that's happening, it allows it arrest him. Wealthy deals with money, wants his face everywhere. I mean, it's a recipe for a sociopath. You have to arrest him. Has to be a minority report kind of preventative measure taken. They want to rave style party first night. Then they want to Zen party the next day. They want to play boy party after that. And then we find out that he's a gay man. And I don't know why, but the face thing at the birthday party, the bite is taken out of it.

After I realized that he was a gay man, I feel like gay people being vain is fine. Sorry if that's offensive in any way. I just think there are a lot of that. I don't know. It just makes it makes more sense to me. So we want someone to jump out of a cake, dance,

see rat, and that's when Lee says, well, it's not going to be a Lee. We weren't going to choose you. Lee, it's not going to be me. You're walking around in a cane the old man what are

you gonna say you you can't jump into or out of anything you almost die every time you get in the shower you're not jumping out of the fucking cake dude that's what takes people out old people the fucking shower the falls they slip break a fucking hip listen when i've slipped in showers i'm a 32 year old man i've i see my fucking life flash before my eyes it's like i have a psychedelic experience when my equilibrium goes like that in that wet wet vulnerable place you're naked it's like a scene out of fucking eastern provinces or history of violence i don't remember which one but it's fucking terrifying god that concludes the preffered sheet meeting so uh we get to the girls and their types i guess they're breaking it down

well it's about uh uh i guess camille has a thought. It's this theory. Yeah. You okay? Yeah, yeah. Doesn't sound like it. Does not sound like it. Yeah. Girls chat about... Okay, Camille shares a thought,

and it's definitely an idea. She spent a lot of time pondering for some reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love never lasts at the beach. This is a bonding moment over all the interior, I think, or something. Okay. But it's so incoherent and lacks so much reason, and it should be considered as a thought that everyone should think is so dumb.

You okay? Yeah. We award her no points. May God have. All right. You need to take a sip of something. Oh, my God. Do you hear what he's going through to get this podcast out i mean my god i'm such

an asshole you know what people want to do they want to pat i'm sure wants to order pho right now and just be inside but we have to get this podcast out for our adoring i apologize my co-host uh so camille we get a little seer history with her, dated a quarterback in the SEC. Now, this is just flat out, you know, this is flat out cool stuff. I mean, these guys are rock stars down there in the SEC. You know, this would be a wicked segment of Nick Knows Too Much where we could find out who the hell this guy is and how many touchdowns he threw last season. But sadly for the fans, me and Pat just don't give a fuck.

I hate college football. Never bet on it. Never we can't she had a great picture of him i guess he probably caught a touchdown or something like that in the stadium but don't care camille don't care yeah he probably threw said touchdown but also the picture is of him quickly going to kiss her before his three other girlfriends can't see it's college man everyone's chasing so uh little on hayley in and out of yachting we find out her real profession is aesthetics that is botox pat thoughts i mean everybody needs it uh i i think you i don't know if i completely believe her i mean maybe they have different laws in australia but you have to have like uh some a nursing school degree or something like that i didn't see those credentials on her uh c-rat hey i'm really proud of you because i thought that you were going to go into this jag about how um you know you know where i'm going

uh about hayley yeah uh being uh okay Not a fan of Haley. You know, that's on me. I shouldn't have pried that out of you. Right. I got to bleep that. She annoys me. Okay. Probably the least favorite person on this boat,

and I include Captain Lee in that. What's up with you? Are you not a... She reminds me of someone. I can't put my goddamn finger on it, but she's loud. She's obnoxious. boat all right and i include captain lee in that what's up with you are you not a uh she reminds me of someone i can't put my goddamn finger on it but she's loud she's obnoxious she's fake as fuck can i say who i think she reminds you of and we'll bleep it yeah go ahead harriet no okay all right but she's similar okay so moving on uh and maybe we'll do like you know people want unredacted versions of these shows we say hundred dollars here yeah maybe because it's so

dangerous like get in trouble like yeah business relationships so frazier is killing it but will his 3 a.m work amount to to anything? Because these guests seem mean. And when I wrote that, I was in a place where I did not know that they were actually rather cool guests, given the level of incompetence that they are subjected to. But let's get to the next day. Next day. Tony has never worked on a boat like this. He just hikes.

That's what Tony does. He's been on an adventure boat. He likes surfing, and he hikes that's what that's what Tony does he's been on an adventure buddy like surfing and he hikes so Rachel is already killing it with the goofs in the branding she calls the charcuterie board a cooter board I'm going to use that moving forward and the stripes

are doled out Alyssa is second stew now be wary brother Stripes are doled out. Alyssa is second, Stu. Now, beware, brother. Power immediately corrupts her. It absolutely does. Instantaneously corrupts this person. And it's sad because in the spectrum, we're on the spectrum of dominion over others.

I mean, this has to be as close to the bottom as you can get. Well, Dylan, by that you mean the very difference on these stripe numbers is, you know, having two stripes mean you lord over the person. Who's looking for cocktail napkins. It's an immense amount of power. I was going to say one person with one stripe cleans the shit out of the toilet. The person with

two stripes stands over there and says, I guess it's clean enough. But regardless, you're both looking over a toilet. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Don't do it. Just work at a restaurant. Don't do this. So, like I said, I don't want to profile but i don't

understand why camille is the floater she has to do the docking she has to deal with the sea rep power trips like the one that alissa has over this napkin thing um but i think i was proven wrong. The guests arrive. Our first tour of the boat ensues and our first fall on the stairs, of which there will be many. I mean, they just talk about the stairs way too much for us to not be falling down on them a couple times. But then we get to side plate gate

where Camille goes up to Alyssa, says, do you want side plates? Alyssa says, do you? And Camille says, look at your stripes. Maybe Camille does have to Alyssa, says, do you want side plates? Alyssa says, do you? And Camille says, look at your stripes. Maybe Camille does have the temperament. I kind of love this feud already. I don't think Alyssa is a match for Camille. Well, really?

God, I think Alyssa is absolutely a match for Camille. I think Camille's being a little bitchy here. Oh, I don't think so at all. Well, maybe I'm just watching it too quickly but you know there there is this thing where i feel like camille is in this place where if you're gonna put up then shut up if you're gonna be the the all-powerful second stew then make some calls i don't know where stuff is do you want the side plates i'm not gonna make that call i'm a floater i don't have the authority okay you know ambiguity yeah let's all live in that i'll say this camille is just

contributing to the power structure i need more episodes before i'm going to start forming an opinion we don't know these sea rats yet i don't know if i like alissa i don't know if i like camille i'm pretty sure i don't like camille. Melissa, I'm holding out judgment. I mean, we probably don't really like any of them. Definitely not after 26 episodes or whatever this season's going to be. So, espresso martinis are poured, and we begin on docking, which involves pulling ropes away from the dock. It's just fascinating stuff, these dockings well it was a great uh clip uh well actually we're leaving the dock right and uh lee says uh and i quote they cut to him this is his hero shot

because this is lee he goes uh start pulling he goes i guess it's too late to turn back now lee we get it man just stop it but at this point we're four feet from the dock you could just press that button that i always say press go right back there super easy now i'm harrison ford yeah yeah no you're not so meanwhile meanwhile we find out that lee loves tony's attitude and then we get to lunch uh chicken and lamb skewers are going to be up baba ganoush and hummus uh real mediterranean vibe here nice easy baseline to set the guests up with light clean not blowing the doors off of anyone if it was on time but with this being an hour and 15 minutes late some pots are going to be no pun intended docked rach what is going on now dill did you pick up on any clues how this is happening she's prepping i mean she uh uh i i think blame the stairs yeah yeah so she's blaming the stairs she's blaming the walk and

i think that i have the root cause of the issue what is it she is in a state of fuck it i mean we talked to her a couple months ago she's at war with bravo she's at war with bravo i think that she walked aboard this massive boat with kind of an anarchist attitude towards this entire thing the hubris of this queen because she stands firmly rooted in one of the most powerful positions aboard this vessel what are you going to do fire me you're going to fire me tell me to speed up yeah get the fuck out of here that's where she's coming from i mean she's just supremely confident in her station but rach i mean you can't have lunch be an hour and 15

minutes late it's not cool and we'll get to dinner oh that was awesome one of the most i'm bored one of the most pathetic showings from rach i've ever seen so camille wants elissa to have more fun um i.e drink on the job the giant cake is acquired and then we get our first realism uttered yes we do drunker than a bunch of four peckered goats which is one of those things that i i get dragging your dick through a mile of whiskey bottle glass or whatever but um this one i actually uh have a clip and a thought on it. This is the actual clip here. Here's the clip. Here's it. Look out at the gas, you noach.

The gasser is drunk as a four-packered goat. Nope. That sucks. First off, it's dumb. Goats don't get drunk. Second, it makes no sense. Third, I'm pretty sure you've used it before. Yeah, he has. He has used this before.

One million percent. Okay, Lee, you don't get to do that. Come on, man. You get paid a bunch of money to sit here and give your one-liners. You have like three reasons to be here. You got to do that opening speech about like the two rules thing. You did that, I guess. And then you got to walk around with your shirt off at some point because i think you think some

women think you're hot or something yeah uh well you gotta show up at bravo con um you take your shirt off and have that fucking necklace and you gotta go on the internet and you gotta look up one-liners and they gotta make sense right and now you're you're you're pulling one-liners out of the recycle bin, dude. It's not okay. It's not okay. It's really not professional. It's beneath a station, quite honestly, because they're not difficult to come up with.

I'm as hard as a two-by-four in an ice storm. There you go. It's very, very easy. Did you just think of that? Yeah, of course because the two by four is already rather hard yes and then the ice storm makes it cold and freezes it so it makes it even harder exactly you can come up with a million of them yeah do you know how many times he's probably said that line too and then people like these young

folk you know they're sea rats and all yeah like whoa it's me this guy means business if you wanted to say someone was um stupid you could say um he's got as much going up on up there as a power outage you know that you can come up with they're very easy to come up with i mean lee has just got to put the elbow grease into it every season before he goes on. He should have five weeks out. Just spend one hour a week. Just sit down at your desk and write a bunch of them.

If you're Lee's wife and I, you know, you probably listen to us because you're, you know, we make fun of your husband at all. You want to keep him gainfully employed. Yeah. Do some homework for him.

Yeah, absolutely. Write for him. Be his ghostwriter. So let's get to the nighttime nighttime the guests were all mormon evidently and they moved past that what was that well they were trying to figure out what mormon meant right yeah that was pretty stupid well i would have liked a little bit more on this and less about lee and his fucking trade winds suck it up buttercup

we're gonna be blown 30 years in the business. Leave people alone. The trade wins did blow something over. Cool. Let's get to dinner. Dinner. So the guests are getting fucked up. And Camille is envious. She loves drinking. It's kind of her thing.

That's her vibe. Find a new vibe. You have to find a new vibe. have to find a new vibe that is not a road paved with anything good so dinner is late again yes first up cauli puree i can't with this stuff anymore i can't with the cauliflower purees anymore it's. It's culinary fad that needs to die. Peng's palate is correct. It is mushrooms, he says, and that is because of the morel broth. Now, Rachel says, no, it's cauliflower puree. Now, the morel is a powerful little fungus, and with cauliflower having no flavor whatsoever, it quickly concedes to the flavor of the morel is a powerful little fungus, and with cauliflower having no flavor whatsoever, it quickly concedes to the flavor of the morel.

So that's what's going on here. But gummy, brown, late. Not a good start. Not a good start. The fire dancers get there. I don't know what they were. And then given that the drunk people are so drunk, they are fed more booze not food but homemade fireball shots that literally make the primary throw up

food is finally served it is a shaved brussels sprout salad with truffle oil how did it take an hour to get that out my wife how did it take an hour to get that out my wife loves chef rach she finds her hilarious she was like she's asked the same question you just did an hour for that insane you take a microplane and brussels sprouts or you can even chop them up it should take five minutes all right so next up is a risotto with mushrooms once again. Same thing as the first dish, but with risotto. That comes 40 minutes after the Brussels sprout. And then Art imitates life.

The lemon is edible, but who cares? They were so bored they didn't eat the third course. Rach. I'm bored. 19 pots. That was not a good showing for you. We wrap up with hitting the sheets. But first, we've got another little fight with Alyssa and Camille.

These two are going to slaughter each other by week four. I think Fraze has got to step in or Ross has got to step in. But I don't think Ross is capable because his efforts to want to fuck both. He just wants to fuck both of them. So that's not going to be beneficial. You guys fight. So join us on Patreon for ad-free ads. What? Ad-free episodes.

If you want to hear this show episode-free, head over there. $10 tier. It's a lot of fun. The show just flows. Also, Love is Blind coverage is there. And give us a little bit of time. We will be back on youtube and back doing video

post haste before you know it so go over there see all videos subscribe we love you guys very very much we'll be back soon i'm dylan saying goodbye pat say goodbye permission to get out Thank you.