Another Below Deck Podcast - Lee Tells AFIB | Below Deck Reg S9 E2

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to talk shakshuka, AFIB, The Devil Wears Prada, Nick and Dylan's Bond and also Pat's Bond, anniversaries, stevia packets, getaway drivers and of course Bravo's Below Deck Reg.  Video of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Sailing seasons 1 & 2 and our coverage of Love is Blind https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork Merch: AnotherMerchStore.com

But Captain Lee just has what a lot of people have, which is white AFib detectors are in almost all Apple Watches. It's a very common thing. That's pretty lame. And he says, I don't want you to treat me any differently. What are you talking about? Apple Watches can detect lies? Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. My name is Dylan. I am saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys!

Pat produces podcasts over there behind my glasses how you doing everyone good second day of school i'm excited to be here with you guys day two of the charter episode two of the season before we jump in do we have any psa's i just have one real quick one right uh head over to that youtube thing over there and uh start following another podcast network that's our youtube channel yeah are we over a thousand on each one of our channels not the bachelor one but below deck and another podcast of course the barnacles come through yeah they are those fucking baby birdies don't even get me started on the we haven't recorded our bachelor show yet but oh my god when we do i'm going to unleash on our fans who we love and fucking hate but we'll

love even more so i'll go over there even if you don't watch the bachelor subscribe to another bachelor podcast on youtube that's our channel and help us out throw us a fucking bone go to patreon.com slash another podcast network for more below deck content and miscellaneous stuff nick i don't have any pssa's but i was just wondering if you guys have seen dune oh no hey nicky i've been meaning to talk to you about something i was talking to lexi uh from the last yeah right and then i put a post up on facebook for the barnacles to weigh in and they're pretty nasty over there the barnacles although they do make a lot of sense they got good heads on their shoulders he said all right i'll let you interview

me but i can't really talk about below decks some contract i don't believe her because we were probably might have chef rachel on this week eddie was just on our our companion sister and also it begs the question why would we talk to you well i want to break down because there's the archetype that was created by editing and her poor behavior and then there's let's see well the villain and let's see if if she is in fact that awful or if we can have a conversation like a first date or something like let me get to know lex you're not gonna fuck her no no it's not gonna happen nick what do you think i think we're gonna get a good interview i think by the end she might hang up as we start asking more

hard-hitting questions i'll get her to hang up. And also, on a first date, Dylan, or Pat, someone's not going to start yelling, you fucking duck-hound! You duck-hound! Duck-hound! Even the biggest psychopaths can be cool for that first date. Suddenly find out where you live, start driving past your house, go in and kill you.

Do this for me, because I don't like to pull the rug out from somebody. Lexi thinks we're doing the interview without asking her any below-deck questions. I told her you were going to hit her up. Do you mind playing good cop, bad cop and saying, hey, Lexi, we are going to ask some below deck questions because the barnacles. This is. I think we pull the rug out from under her. Oh, that's nasty.

We don't need to talk about this any longer. This has been long enough. A segment of on air production meetings. Also, what show is Eddie on? Because I just want it for the record. We don't have a sister. Okay. Oh production meetings. Also, what show was Eddie on? Because I just want to, for the record, we don't have a sister companion below that. Kate Casey show. Oh, okay. She's cool. Can we get into thoughts and pots?

Sure. We got to get with Kate Casey. I fucking flaked on her. Love you, Kate Casey. So, episode two of this podcast, this show. Lee is back. I think that's going to take the knots down a little bit. Quite honestly. Pat, why don't you go first? I'll let Nick go first. I think that's going to take the knots down a little bit, quite honestly. Pat, why don't you go first?

I'll let Nick go first. I'm gathering my thoughts. No. No. I'm not saying you have to go first. I'm just not going to go first. All right, fine. I'll go.

I'm not going first. I don't go first. All right. Let me just say this. I think we're off to a little bit of a rough start here with episode two. Choppy Waters. Choppy Waters. I need a little bit more entertainment coming my way. I need a little bit of a rough start here with episode two. Choppy waters. Choppy waters. I need a little bit more entertainment coming my way.

I need a little bit more setup. I get it that Raina and who was that other character? Jake, I guess, kind of made out or something like that. But I don't know, man. I need a little bit more. Even Lee coming in. I was just like, this doesn't up the ante for me at all. I would rather study Sean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sean would be a welcome sight, although we'll talk about it a plenty, but I am happy that he's gone for the safety and sake of the crew because he, much like Captain Glenn, has slayed, but just in less of a cute way. This is your thoughts and pots, and I want to formally apologize.

That's fine. That's fine. I didn't have a lot to say about the episode because nothing really happened on the episode. No one really hates anybody yet. I do like that Frasier character. He's fine. That's fine. I didn't have a lot to say about the episode because nothing really happened on the episode. No one really hates anybody yet. I do like that Frasier character. He's got a lip on him. Oh, you know what I wanted to say?

Sorry to be crass, but for lack of a better term, the blue balls that we got thinking that we were going to see the sucking, the fucking ball of snakes. Was this the moment of bisexuality? No. No.

No. It's just a disappointing episode all around. And I want to formally apologize. No, that's okay. In the middle of your thoughts. No. No. No. It's just a disappointing episode all around, and I want to formally apologize. No, that's okay. In the middle of your thoughts. That's okay. Decent episode, 40 knots. Nick?

I agree with Pat's assessment. It's choppy waters. I mean, that rapper is still stuck around the end, but I feel like... Oh. I feel like right at the end of the episode.

You're talking about a Charms blow pop. A Charms blow pop sucker. That is right, sir. I feel like actually at, I even think I'm a little hot. I don't usually think that. I feel like right at the end of the episode, we just got the rest of that sucker wrapper off and we might be okay and just enjoy some delicious watermelon blow pop yeah or like domestic abuse between charter guests next week that's like really good blow pop right

delicious blow pop 72 knots yeah i thought it was okay uh it was lovely to see chef rage kind of unleashing her culinary weaponry i can't wait to hear what you have to say about that yeah that was a fun uh that was a blast. Profoundly sad to see Captain Lee returning. But I'm with you guys, you know. This is, this is not Sparta. This is 30 pots. 30 pots.

But we're going to be professionals, and we're going to make it fairly enjoyable. And we're going to have a blast doing it. So, we last left off with Captain Sean's unhealthy relationship with where furniture is placed, as Pat would call it. It's wreaking havoc on this charter. The guests are getting restless, and Eddie 3.0 is having a tough time balancing the guests wanting to get to the beach and Sean wanting Eddie 3.0

to get the shells that he brought from his closet. Eddie 3.0. Bigger. Fatter. That's it. All right. So Captain Sean says he is not a micromanager. It's just that there's nothing aboard this vessel that he is not willing to do,

including therapy. Well, he says he's not a micromanager, but in fact, he is a hands-on guy. Right, right. Very, very small hands. Well, it's also a euphemism for micromanager. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't like synonyms, but I do like different words that mean the same thing. Right. Okay, so here's the thing about Sean, who, remember.

We all had thoughts on that micromanager line. Yeah, how could you not? Pop, pop, pop, remember... We all had thoughts on that micromanager line. Yeah, how could you not? Pop, pop, pop, pop. Sean, remember, has a body count in the tens. Not sexually. I've talked about it, but he's killed. He has a standard of excellence, though, that is unrivaled. Lee couldn't give two shits about this.

He's tenderly applying ointment to grotesque spots and just playing Fruit Ninja. He doesn't care about these shells. No. And they add so much to a beach picnic. Well, let me say this, Dylan, because I'm buying what you're selling. Thank you.

None of the captains, except for Captain Sean, give a fuck about what these beach setups. Now, while I did not appreciate it took one hour for them to do it, and these poor charter guests had to sit on a yacht for an extra hour and drink free drinks, or forgive me, drinks that they paid for right but that setup was pro dude pro dude that's what those beach setups should look like they shouldn't look up look like a fucking folding table now with a 99 cent store fucking uh what do you cover uh cover cloth. It should look at the very least like a budget sandals and not that you gave Sigma Chi at USC $150 to

fuck around with on a beach. Or the clearance patio section at Walmart in Wisconsin in November. That's what it looks like. Oh, really? Normally what they put up. It looks cheap and classless. Got it. Leftover $79.99. you get a full table set and it's in my backyard for 15 years i gotta go shopping in uh walmart's in wisconsin all right meanwhile meanwhile i'm not saying there's not deals frazier is struggling with heather get your shit together heather he rhymes reina is uh says she's only going to be flirting with jake and that's it well yeah she she says uh you know she's interested in the guy but uh a serious relationship is off

the table but she might uh let him see her lady garden well no she definitely doesn't say that she says that she's only going to be flirting with jake that's it and i would say reina you're almost imprisoned with this person for eight weeks you're going to do other things the definition of uh flirting in in many countries can be uh expanded to yeah got it got it so uh sean gives the paying charter guests a shell that he found they say cool can we have food please and we find that rachel is still harboring resentment for Eddie 3.0. Well, Eddie reported Chef Rachel as a full-on drunk, and Chef Rachel internalizes it that Eddie's being spineless.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That is such drunkard line of thinking, you know? It's not my fault. It's that fucking rat. I love expanding my vocabulary, even if it's a word that I already know what it means, but then you learn a second meaning.

In this case, spineless means accurate recap of what I found. Yeah, means good eye. All right, so we get some background on some of the sea rats. Oh, yeah. Wes dated a sea rat then broke up with her and these are the kind of packages i'm i'm thinking you know we we need to not do these anymore because i i don't care that west dated a girl and then broke up with don't they're very telling though and the devil's in the details he's sharing this with reina

who uh she thinks like me uh we learned that that ex of his moved to Australia. And then although her vagina smells, as Raina pointed out, he's still down to hang out with the tuna taco. You know what I mean? So a couple things there. Like, I think that you got who he was talking to wrong. I think you got the recollection that you made up in your head wrong. Like, so much went badly.

But at least you got to talk about tuna and vagina the way that you wanted to correct am i correct yeah i'm pretty sure that reina said if her pussy stinks uh would you chase after it was not involved he got a lot wrong but at least it wasn't his overall take which yours was i actually i like this little nugget from west he like i the way he was talking to the producer he was like trying to like put on a happy face but he like wanted to break down and cry and he feels empty and weak and he just well you know the next story from the next sea rat made me sad very sad um but it it also turned me right around on these Sea Rat packages.

You know, sometimes, you know, we can glean a lot from them. But most often they are inconsequential as an understatement. So what was the story from Jessica? Oh, well, she was driving Uber in Florida and had a client in there. That's right. And somehow the cops end up at her house and that was a driving factor for her to become a c-rack she was a getaway driver for a criminal we get which was fun we get a lot sadder from jessica later i think that's what you're

referring to because i actually thought this was an absolute nothing story that she told rachel this is something we are not monolithic yeah Yeah. Cause I drove Uber for a year. You picked up a guy who had a hit and run. That's not a criminal. I had way crazier stories than that. If that's the best she's got, she maybe she belongs to the laundry room. One of them.

What do you mean? One of them? One of your crazy Uber stories. Oh, um, uh, I took out, I've said this one. Not that one then. No. Cause people listening don't. And it's my best stories. Oh, I took out, I've said this one.

Not that one then. No, because people listening don't and it's my best one. No, don't do that one. Is this the one where you had sex with a client? But it wasn't just that like I had sex with someone who was in my backseat. I went out with this group of people and we just had a fun night out drinking as they were trying to cheer up this man who was going through divorce. I banged one of them upstairs. The guy, who was going through divorce i banged one of them upstairs the guy the divorcee to be banged one downstairs and then they had some

sex for a couple months okay cool story great night have you ever picked up a criminal and have you ever been a getaway car for a fucking they're called a wheel man no good god it doesn't even compare to what jessica's been through One time I was dropping people off at like a movie theater at like 11. They were hammered. And I thought everybody was out of the car. And one guy wasn't. And I started to pull off as he was like getting out. And he got like super pissed.

He got back in the car. He's like yelling at me. And I just like flared up real quick too because i was just like right away i was like sorry sorry sorry but then he like gets back in my backseat i'll go let's get outside right fucking now we both got out of the car and then i got back in and drove away smart smart got my head on straight yeah like a looney tune okay so sean calls the uh what the guests pack up the boat and then we get a call. Pat, you want to take this one?

Oh, well, Captain Lee will be returning to the boat. And it said that he'd rather sandpaper a tiger's ass in a phone booth than miss this charter. I'd like to see you try that, you old son of a bitch. Yeah, your AFib would flare up in a heartbeat. Uh-huh. Oh, sure, that's what that was. So, Sean was so uh sean yeah i think he was telling afib uh sean episode title sean calls the crew to the pilot uh house to deliver some horrific news the prodigal son is returning and return he does he looks like fucking old james bond driving in that uh that uh what do you call this thing? Skids. A platoon.

He delivers one of those trademark liaisons right out of the gate. You recap that. Eddie calls him Boat Daddy. Eddie, cut it out. Oh, I was wondering why you thought of Sean Connery. It's because he's wearing the same fucking outfit that Sean Connery wore in Red October. Now they have two things in common. They both have the same outfit and they both play pretend. No, James Bond to me is sadly not Sean Connery, who was a great Bond.

Roger Moore? No, sadly not Roger Moore. My Bond is Pierce. There's a generation of people who grew up with Goldeneye. My Bond is Pierce. It's Goldeneye. It's Tomorrow Never Say Dies. It was a low point.

It's Die Another Day. It's a low point in the cinema, but I don't think you understand how impactful GoldenEye was. Do you get it? I saw it in the theater in 1994. No, but are you aware of the other 64 games? Oh, the video games.

Oh, you losers. You can't base a movie on a video game that you like that's connected to the movie. I'm not basing anything on anything except that there is a generation of people who think of Pierce Brosnan as their James Bond because they spent hours in dorm rooms drinking, getting high, and playing Goldeneye 007.

Pierce is my Bond. No odd job. It's Nick's Bond too. No odd job. No odd job. Well, they wouldn't have been able to make video games for Roger Moore's movies because one of them was called Octopussy. I'd play that game.

Okay, so Lee is incredibly ungrateful as he abhors his vessel. He says, now get off my boat. You mean thank you for tending to my herd? I'd have no herd. he's such a dick god that being said like i said i'm terrified of sean and i'm happy that the rest of the boat is safe from sure harm yeah but you know what you're gonna get from fake captain lee you didn't know why like that's the whole thing is sean you didn't know blood could be spilled you'd never know could have been fun to watch and also he was trying to

pretend whoa captain lee halloween's over okay oh right right he was trying he was doing like a little mixture of a little captain sandy with a little captain lee because i don't think he actually has any personality for his own yeah and he was doing his best job to imitate those two right but when the camera's there and after a week or two we'd start getting the real sean you know what i mean captain sandley i hate that fucking laugh uh oh my god captain sean's real personality is is pleasant creep yeah that's pretty good so i was just taking a sip of that Spindrift Seltzer. You know, I find most of these beverages to be absolutely piss poor. But that one has a mature amount of sweetness to it. A mature amount of sweetness. Okay.

Are we going to get fake Captain Lee talking to Eddie about all his medical issues? Of course. Of course. But first, Rachel is prepping a Japanese tasting menu. She's gone overboard with this one, no pun intended. But before we get there, and I do want to get there because I see those tomahawks that actually weren't cooked. We've got to meet with Lee.

Rach brings up his food. They kiss. Sick. And then he greets his new chief stew with an air of intimidation. Do you pick up on this? He's cool. Dude, what are you doing? He's mean dogging.

He's mean dogging. This is what the audience does. This is why I can't stand Lee, because it's all an act. And that just that put on mochismo of i need to intimidate people that are younger than me i need to hate all of this 25 year old woman heather could beat you up in a fight dude she could beat you up in a fight well he has a regular heartbeat well that's beside the point still could happen he shouldn't be mean dogging someone that could wrestle him to the ground and choke him out pat yes anyways besides i'm not buying that old AFAB, irregular heartbeat bullshit. I stand by the fact that this man has open sores on his phallus.

He wanted to share his unwanted tongue up an unwanting asshole. And it was ripped off by a sphincter with the power of a bolt cutter. Now, you understand why he doesn't want to admit this, because it's embarrassing. Right. That's why he told us that. But that's what happened. Yeah, he's very bashful about it. Listen to how he talks.

You can hear it with his tongue. It just got sewed on the week before. All right. So speaking of cooling down, which I said five minutes ago, Jake is talking about first date kiss, fourth date dildo. Do you want to chat about this sex pirate at all? He's very intense. He's read Pat's book. I mean, I don't think that this

is like gotta be an updated version i don't think you had pegging in your book there's no way he read pat's book because it has been stuck at penguin random house for six years it's very controversial uh book dylan if you know people you can get your hands on a copy okay and and he mentioned he's like first date he'll just kiss him at which like slow roll him which like i just don't have the patience to do i'm trying to get laid when i'm going right right but but if you can do it david like david spade or patrick hickey that's the move and then number two date done so you're saying that jake got the manuscript much like anne hathaway in the devil's uh devil wears prada yes exactly like that do you remember when she got the manuscript i manuscript much like Anne Hathaway in the Devil Wears Prada. Yes.

Exactly like that. Do you remember when she got the manuscript? I think it was Harry Potter. What a film, huh? Oh, yeah. What a film. I enjoyed it. It ruined it because I've been saying for years since grade school,

since I got the 64 crayon box of Crayolas, that my favorite color is cerulean. And every time I say my favorite color is cerulean, people are like, oh, like Devil Wears Prada? No, not like that movie. I've always loved it. You tell those bitches, Nick. Thank you.

Hang on a second. A lot to go over because you just said something fucking crazy. My favorite color is cerulean? So one, insane. And such an obnoxious thing to say too. My favorite color is what cerulean cerulean two who is recounting that as a line from the devil wears product everybody i've seen the film three times i don't recall that no one does no one does well you just fucked yourself now we

gotta fucking no i'm sure I'm sure it is. But like, you know, that's like, you know, that somebody going, oh, that famous Titanic quote. And then they quote Billy Zane. Tooch. Stanley Tucci is just wonderful in every film he's in. You did this. No, you did.

Point made. role wasn't it who showed civilian military jackets i think we need a jacket here point made pretty pretty epic scene you idiot the point's definitely i'll take when i wasn't gonna drink the the points that you weren't gonna drink huh fuck you guys all right so uh moving on um lee has a new look speaking of uh high fashion, he looks like Red October, Sean Connery, and is overly chummy with Rachel in that weird necklace. She's got a lot of intense energy coming back aboard, whatever the fuck this boat's called. Rachel knows a thing or two about job security. Oh, my God, yeah. First, Captain Sean was flirting it up up and she's giving it right back.

Captain Lee, yeah, why don't you goose me Captain Lee? Yeah, exactly, exactly. As long as I get a good wreck and another season on this boat if I get it hard up. It's never gonna happen, but I'll let you think it.

So, this is where we get to the debriefing between Lee and Eddie 3.0. That hurt so much when I said I wasn't gonna drink you guys were like you're not gonna drink but you're right look at you you're drinking right yeah you're right you know you weren't right about that being a famous line from that movie though so anyways he calls up uh eddie i'm sure they're this is a split issue there are going to be people on our facebook and comments who are like what dylan's such an idiot that's one of the most

famous lines from that film so um lee tells eddie that it is eddie's fiduciary responsibility to know exactly what happened to captain lee now my stomach had a pit in it because i thought it was going to be something grave and serious and we had been making light of him ripping his tongue off in a bolt cutting asshole or masturbating so feverishly and so often that he had open sores on his penis. And I was concerned that it was something like cancer, God forbid, knock on wood. But Captain Lee just has what a lot of people have, which is white afib detectors are in almost all apple watches it's a very common thing um it's pretty lame and he says i don't want you to treat me any differently what are you talking about apple watches can detect lies okay so uh

before yes before he made up this thing and told daddy about it, he also told Eddie that he was going to be the, quote unquote, working first officer. I bet that really pissed off that fellow we met episode one, who's no Darian. Can't believe that name escaped me. John, who is the actual first officer of this boat, he had to be fucking pissed i'd sue you know what you did when you just forgot darian's name it's like could you ever forget

leo dicaprio's name yeah you could well that's a bad example okay so uh moving on let's get to dinner dinner we are going to where we dropped the bomb we're going to japan first up is takoyaki quite frankly a disgusting street food from the streets of that beautiful land uh rachel took the puss out of it but left the bonito on the lighting wasn't great when they showed the dish it looked like shit in a paper boat but i'm sure it tasted fine. Have you guys ever had Takoyaki? No. I haven't. It's revolting. You know what Benito is? Benino?

Benito. Benito Lopez? The UFC definitely not that. It's dried tuna shaved very thin. It dances when it hits the plate of food. Am I supposed to be scowling now or my lap in my lips um up to you you know doesn't sound good i don't like dried fish i'm you know i i i am very

brave in the culinary world but one thing i am not i've not yet ventured into perhaps my taste buds will change and go through some type of renaissance. Squid. And I appreciate this thing. I'm okay with squid. But like processed fish, like dried fish, canned fish. I'm not there yet. I can't do people like, oh, you know what you should have for breakfast? Sardines and olive oil. I would never eat that in the morning. I'd throw up and ruin my day. Let's get back to dinner.

Next up, we've got Glyyoza with a luscious broth classic warming and it was ruined by lee's small talk uh we'll get to towels in that sad moment we talked about with jessica but first third course fourth course fifth course we've got chicken tonkatsu with a ginger broth that is fried chicken for those not paying attention and that is a microaggression for those not paying attention uh vegetable tempura squash isn't in season not sure if it's uh different over where they are but um that was served to me it would have been on the wall next up tuna shiitake not sure what the fuck that is but what this was was a journey to a new land it was not surf it was not turf it was not uninspired it was chef rach and it was 84 pots it's just such a delight to see someone who knows what they're doing in the gallery you know what i mean but i

yes it's it's wonderful to have her back someone who knows what they're doing captain lee he reiterated the best chef he's ever worked with but i want to go back to something you said i really want to highlight it the microaggression there's actually the second one of this episode from the crew to these beautiful these lovely guests queens when they were leaving the the wonderful beach setup that captain sean uh captained uh eddie walked up to him he's like hey you guys know it's like 4 20 you guys ready to hit hit it it's not everybody's whiz khalifa's like 420. You guys ready to hit it? Not everybody's Wiz Khalifa in the African-American community. Yeah, it was a macro microaggression from Eddie.

I was pretty disgusted by it. Now Rachel, too. Yeah, why don't you fucking give your hood to Jessica to clean. So speaking of Jessica, very sad moment. Third stew, anxiously folding Stevia packets. She's 35, taking orders from a 25-year-old. Thoughts? Okay.

Poor Wes. First off, she's a sea rat on the low end of the totem pole, and we know how she got here. She lived on a houseboat with a boyfriend. They both decided to leave their jobs. Well, and she was a wheel woman for a while. Right. She was a wheel man.

Right. Wheel woman. Man. Yeah. She was a wheel man. Right. Wheel woman. Man. Yeah. And then it didn't work out with the boyfriend. Next thing you know, she's in a boat on a boat in where the Bahamas or wherever the fuck we are. Yeah.

It's all sad. Where squash is in season, evidently. Mm-hmm. It was really romantic. Like, the story she told, it was just really sad how she lamented to Wes that she's 35 and sitting in a third stew position. Yeah. I mean, does it really?

That part made me sad. Does it really matter how she got here? I mean, she's a C-rat. She's a C-rat. But the only thing that gives me a little bit of solace, a little bit of hope here is that she is completely detached and uninspired by this, her temporary career. You know, she's not in this for the long haul, right? She's there to make a little bit of money and then get back driving bank robbers

out of hot situations. You know what I mean? So anyways, let's move on to the morning. Next morning! There are no towels. Who cares? Before we get to the commercial break, though, we get a tease that this docking coming up

is being done with a new crew, a new land this could literally end in the death of each and every fucking person on board so the stakes are incredibly high now before we get there let okay every once in a while a baby barnacle will uh call upon us to make a a big announcement whether you know it's to let someone know they have a terminal illness i'm not sure that logistically how that would work because the doctor needs i think it's uhICA. What's the body that you can't? HIPAA? HIPAA. HIPAA violation.

Have us do that. We refuse these all the time. But tonight is a glorious announcement. We like anniversaries. Did you mention how everybody can sign up for the Attack Hawk tier? I did not. I'm not good at plugging. Go ahead and hit it. Patreon.com slash another podcast network is a place where we

have a bunch of content. But if you sign up for this, our highest or second highest level tier. Second highest. The Attack Hawk tier, $100. You can buy space on our airwaves to use however you want, which is a bargain basement price to what we are charging advertisers with our current products. Yeah, you should look at what Green Chef paid us. This Attack Hawk.

Oh, and really quickly before you get to this Attack Hawk, we should mention our highest tier, which is still there and still has not been bought and paid for. It is the Flight of the Phoenix tier. If you do pay us $35,000, we will fuck each other on camera. Okay, so that's there. It's the Flight on camera. Okay? So that's there. It's the Flight of the Phoenix tier.

And it's there. Patreon.com slash another podcast network. But this attack cock came from Will. Oh, hopefully they're listening together in the car, Nick. That's how you got to present this. Like they're sitting together listening right now. I think they actually are. Will's girlfriend, who he's been with for three years

congratulations it's their anniversary it's their their third anniversary but she got him into below deck and then he got into our podcast and they they enjoy together and i do think they listen together in the car oh mazel and what's her name sarah hi sarah hi sarah hey sarah you're a former sea rat so i'm gonna address that in a minute. A little concern for Will's well-being. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Big time.

And despite her being- He's going to wind up dead. Well, or just really depressed and this isn't going to work out. I mean, Sea Rats, as we know, some come from some real hardscrabble backgrounds. Oh, yeah. Will, has she ever, when you asked about her childhood, did she ever say, my dad used to come in the room, yada, yada, yada? Yada, yada, yada.

Have you ever heard those words back to back to back? Have you ever seen her look forlorn out the window after asking her a question? Will. Mazel. It's really wonderful to know how many sea rats we actually have in our community. There's a bunch of them. There's a whole Facebook thread at our Facebook group, another Below Deck Podcast Facebook group group where they're all like,

yeah, I used to be a sea rat. I'm still a sea rat. Oh, you see rat. And it's, it's really wonderful. It's disgusting.

See that we are so plugged into this world that even the people closest to it can appreciate our takes on it. Uh, but Will said he wanted to tell Sarah after three years, he loves her more than ever, despite her once having been a sea rat. Once a sea rat, always a sea rat. You can't step on this part because it was requested.

It's a copy, Pat. It was requested in the copy. You take the sea rat off the sea, but you can't take the sea out of the sea rat. Will says that, Sarah, you're not the typical Tiff Jew. You are not. And we want to wish you mazel for three wonderful years of, what's it called? What's it called? Something wonderful about the relationship?

No, no, no. Give me a synonym. Bliss? The opposite of polyamory. monogamy that's it a loving loving relationship we can't say enough how much we're rooting for you guys oh 100 and also this is what i love about this couple will and sarah yeah is that they have common likes yeah see most couples they just have common hates they oh we gotta get back oh right right they listen to our show isn't that wonderful to have a couple enjoy something together yes exactly like my

wife and i listen to spooked often despite glenn washington slam poetry for 15 minutes at the front of the show glenn shut the fuck up we just want to hear the spooky story so mazel to will and sarah guys you are going to get married you're going to have little baby sea rats. Just push them into other careers besides for this. And Will, you didn't pay for this one, but pull the trigger already. What's Sarah? Come on. What a ball buster.

Get down on one knee, you pussy. And for many of you out there, you may be like, wow, this last four minutes was pretty worthless. But just think how special it was for Will and Sarah. If you can have that. Don't be selfish. If you sign up for the Attack Hawk tier at patreon.com slash another podcast. Or the Flight of the Phoenix tier for $35,000. $37,500.

Attack Hawk, we said that. Moving on to breakfast. Can you yell breakfast? Breakfast! What a great reason. Oh, this is great. I want to said that. Moving on to breakfast. Can you yell breakfast? Breakfast! What a great read. Oh, this is great. I want to hear about your thoughts on this breakfast. Well, I was horrified at them not naming the dish correctly one time.

Is that what you're getting at? Well, I just want you to describe what we're eating here. It is called shakshuka. It is a Middle Eastern breakfast or a Mediterranean breakfast. Called shakshuka. It is a Middle Eastern breakfast or a Mediterranean breakfast. Some type of stewed tomato and pepper with eggs plopped and poached in that hot, hot sauce. Often served over a crusty bread.

It is a light, almost, if you have enough for it. Sounds like peasant food. It is. It is. As most good cuisine is, you know. it is it is as most good cuisine is you know i don't want uh you know you know fucking rabbit riet in aspic you know i don't want to eat what the fucking you know aristocrats are eating you know what i mean i want some tomato and bread give me a runny yolk but they call it shushaka all the time like they call it shushaka it's got name. 15 times. That's not what it's called. It's called shakshuka. But before we get there-

I really want to try some Shakira. Oh my gosh. You're really selling to Shakira. You got a Lodge bread? You know Lodge bread? Nope. They got a great shakshuka. All right, moving on.

So a glass breaks. Jake is bleeding. Heather has no fucking idea where a dustpan is Oh and you can hear us talk about those topics On another podcast show That's our other free property It's free go listen to it Look it up

So we get an insight into Raina She likes to pop off When she was younger But with age she's resorted to Just kind of talking shit behind people's backs i love her that's such a i love her that's such a maturation yes in life and that's what you do as an adult you know very rarely do you go in someone's face you go i think i think you're fucking terrible at your job you go to your co-workers and you go fucking heather is incompetent

imagine if she walks up to heather spits on her face, she's like, you don't know where the fucking dustpan is? Completely, completely inappropriate. She'd have a one-way ticket from Captain Lee in an envelope. Yeah, exactly. With some pithy saying. So anyways,

we take some breakfast orders and unfortunately, sadly, even Rachel calls the fucking Chuck Shuka Shushuka. Which is just crazy because Food and Wine and the new york times have put out like 5 000 recipes for this fucking dish over the past three years it's on every brunch table

imaginable just get the name right so we get to the slip slash docking they highlight the slip as the boat is coming in like we're doing a fucking like we're getting ready for a mission it's fucking pathetic can i say something to the producers because i know not only do we have a bunch of this just park the boat we have a bunch of former and current sea rats listening which i had no idea we have a bunch of uh people that have been cast members on the show we also have producers listening i know what you guys do when you edit this down you have an episode you go uh the producer tells the head producer hey uh we got a 35 minutes of and they go well we got to have 38 and they go all right uh let's pull and they probably have a word

for it where we they just waste the viewer's time where it's going to be captain lee parking the boat or captain lee it wastes everybody's time i always skip 30 seconds when they're doing it because i don't need lee to fucking pretend uh that it's going to be something and say stupid things like this he's as nervous as a cat with a long tail in a room full of rocking chairs coming in hotly one of his worst sayings one of his more convoluted sayings but yes finish your fucking sweet potato fries you old fuck oh yeah work harder and smarter oh our original you old bastard. They really give all of their dockings the Ethan Hunt treatment. You know what I mean?

Oh, yes. We like to talk shit about the sayings, but, I mean, who didn't have a visual in your head what he was talking about? I actually really appreciated this one. Okay, let's break it down. There's a cat with a very long tail. Are there breeds of cats with longer tails than other? Yeah.

No, doesn't make sense. No. A room full of rock. What are we, an arrest home? It's just not a fucking thing. You're going to hit the Google machine in defense of Captain Lee? The saddest part of all of it is he has a fucking piece of paper printed out that's in that drawer or under his iPad

that he beats off to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it has all the one-liners. He's like, this one will work. Right, right, right. I don't like that, Lee. I want you being real.

But you're incapable of doing that. If you watch the Talking Heads, you can see a very small cut. That's when he says, hang on. And then he goes and he gets his legal pad, memorizes it, comes back in, they cut back, and he delivers the axiom.

Cygnuses have the longest tails. Most likely a cygnus around all those rocking chairs. Yeah, it was probably a cygnus. So the guests depart. Lee body shames Eddie and the primary turns. Come on, Dylan, get down with the cygnus. And spins and delivers a scathing review of the interior um i know that the producers tell you anything wrong that happened i want you to rake them over the fucking coals okay or you're not coming back but go fuck yourself go fuck yourself

you weren't even here lee you don't get room to judge no because under your leadership i mean the charter guests i i these people whether it's the the queen of of versailles and kids with drug problems or this girl these people that turn around and go you know it was okay but uh you know this was a problem this was a problem again i know the producer probably tell them to but just like tip poorly and get the fuck exactly let it reflect let the tip reflect how you felt about this they know what you did you you dragged heather into your room you opened the trash inverted it upside down and said oh look at this problem we have here that was what i would have done she just pointed it out i think you guys are being a little too hard on nikki although, and I have to use this sound bite now because my computer's dying. So you're saying if Nikki would have gave you that constructive criticism, you would have been like, yeah.

How dare you? Greta Thunberg? Yeah. Nice. Can you play that again? Oh, did you say fire? i didn't no no he said fire how dare you yes that's what i would have said uh all right so um moving on heather has a boyfriend m. night chamois man he's a former charter guest and it's the hottest relationship she's ever had completely unabashed it doesn't care you go girl no maritime

rules i i was at first sickened by her how flippant she was about about the etiquette but then it was also turned on by how flippant she was about the etiquette she said it was the hottest relationship she's ever had because it was so taboo. That's awesome. Yeah, that's great. That's awesome. I'm so happy for her. So Lee calls her up to go over the various hiccups that Nikki mentioned. Rachel, for the second Lee-Heather meeting in a row, kind of snakes up like worm tongue and drops off food.

Very weird. Heather lets him know about the fuck ups and he says whatever let me get back to my sweet potato fries i don't give a fuck essentially by the way you got two legs and two fucking arms you old fuck go down there and get the food why what are you a king up here yeah like i've never zerk sees driving the boat i've never seen as much as i can't stand timeshare captain samdy i've never seen someone deliver cereal to her in the driving the boat i've never seen as much as i can't stand timeshare captain samdy i've never seen someone deliver cereal to her in the morning right yeah i've never seen someone drop off dinner yes she gets i can't stand this prick she gets pretty uppity about her fresh

squeeze orange juice okay sure it's a luxury that she likes she's used to it she's accustomed to it it's probably part of her morning ritual but she she does not order Wormtongue to bring her up her breakfast every morning. Lee is on a power trip, and he needs to get off the ship. By the way, wrong kind of captain or different type of captain. Captain Lee, in the 1800s or something like that, that movie with Russell Crowe. Master and Commander. Master and Commander. Okay, you bring him his bowl of pudding.

Okay, he's keeping everybody alive, making sure that other pirates don't you know shoot cannonballs in your fucking hole somebody get the early signs of scurvy he's quarantining them then throwing them overboard and that's a tough thing to do a very tough thing you press a button on a computer to move the boat right okay you can go get your own breakfast yeah god i can't i can't stand It's good for your heart, too. Take a walk. Take a walk. I don't know why I keep ending up in this position to be defending Captain Lee.

Because you're a coward tonight. But devil's advocate, the reason no one is bringing Captain Sandy's food to the bridge is because she's already in the galley. Oh, fun little fact. I'm glad you brought that up. Don't hate that take, even though you're a coward defending Lee tonight. More Cheerios, please. I can't stand Chef Spaz from last season, Matt.

That little conversation you had with him, he said, oh, and by the way, she was still Captain Timeshare. They just didn't show it. That was a fun little, Matt, I got to give it to you. Thank you for that nugget. I got to give it to you, Matt. Because they took that away from me. Right.

As a podcaster. And you took that personally. Oh, big time. I take a lot of time to come up with my nicknames to cast members, and Captain Timeshare was one of my most epic names. And then this entire season, they didn't show her in the galley, but little did I know they edited those parts out. Is that an MJ meme?

And I took that personally. Yeah. So memeable, that guy. All right, let's get to the tip. Tip! 18 grand, 1 piece not great not great not bad not great not i mean come on one of them woke up the next morning there wasn't a towel in the room god forbid yeah no the tip reflected the quality of this episode not great not bad

so uh lee gets scatological once again he says have fun tonight but tomorrow your ass belongs to me in what world do you think you can speak to people like this? You fucking anal obsessed freak. All right. Anything before we get to the night out? Yeah. Yeah. Raina has a pretty tight relationship with her mother and tells her mom that she's only

into one guy, but she'll probably only fuck him if she's drunk. Just what moms want to hear. Yeah. It's a tight-knit relationship with mom so um let's get to the nighttime in the end uh oh my god i need a nighttime meanwhile i need a nighttime meanwhile good god was that a fucking that was like watching a bunch of kids on like a hundred meter hurdle and they all just fall you know that was like that but it was like three bears fucking a football. All right. So Eddie has a girlfriend, evidently.

Yeah, he's ready to settle down, he said. Jake is asking Raina if she wants to fuck him in the ass, which I thought was pretty intense for a first night out. Well, actually, the part I thought was weird because I know some guys like a little massaging in the back end there. You know what I mean? Yeah, a little prostate milk. The part where he wanted to bring in the back end of a Sw swisher mop i thought was odd yeah very very odd innovative but odd

and fraser and heather sit down for a performance review it is not for fraser it is for heather uh he wants to let her know how she did and how she can do better what a sassy bitch this guy is love him brought up some pretty solid points that Heather even couldn't really dispute in the moment. No, she just ignored them and moved on. So lemon drop shots get dropped and Jake begins smooching on

Raina. And because the booze is flowing, that means both sucking and fucking. And a ball of snakes are impending. JK, nothing happens at all. They smoke ciggies and then they both pass out in perspective bedrooms. That's because Jake, despite the booze, was able to stick to his game plan of first night only kissing.

I mean, he's a strong-willed man. He was blackout. Blackout. A lot of pain in those sea rats. A lot of pain. So anyways, that will end the ep for us. Well, one last detail. That will not end the ep for us.

Well, Raina goes back to bed, and it turns out who she'd been texting that entire time. Oh, that's right. Mijo. Someone she met in Mexico. That's right. I can't tell if it's a girl or a guy yet. I couldn't either but either way that person when they watch this back they're going to be like

how dare you okay that's it for us leave five stars please if you haven't done it we see these reviews that are like long time listener first time reviewer we appreciate it but don't be like those people you know if you've been listening for a while

get in the iTunes ratings and reviews. Help us out. It helps the show grow. That would be like those people, though. Exactly. So how do you combat that? Go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. Sign up for the Attack Hawk tier or any of the other tiers.

Love to see you guys there. Also, Facebook, join us there. And most importantly, go to YouTube to YouTube subscribe and mix it up in those comments hit the bell we're out of here I'm Dylan saying goodbye

next time goodbye bye bye later Love