Kill James Bond! - Lee, That Doesn't Make Any Sense | Below Deck S10 E2
Episode Date: December 1, 2022Dylan and Pat are back to break down Leeisms a'plenty, 31 flavors, pain, freeing the vaginer, hierarchy, back pain, rotten fish, petroleum products and much more from Bravo's Below Deck. OUR NEW SHOW... BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING WINTER HOUSE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.comThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement
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Mom showed up one day to say she's going to work, and then she didn't come back for
two years. Oh my god that's sad.
Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dell. I'm saddle up X2 one pat permission to come aboard permission granted. I'm feeling
a lot better. I apologize the audience for all the coughing I did last week. But you know
why am I apologizing? You should thank me. I showed up at my goddamn fucking job.
Yeah.
And I was dying and I still showed up, man.
Right, right, right.
So you're welcome.
And also marvel at my immune system.
Sure.
You're tight and kill you.
Right.
Despite vaping, Alamega, Melon, ice constantly
and having me cough on you for a week.
And having the lung capacity of a toddler,
you know, I think I could run an 11 minute mile right now
if I really put my gusto into it.
The fact that I'd not fall prey to those virus,
those germs, those back,
we gotta get into below depth, okay?
But first we have to hit some public service announcement.
Patreon, love is blind, magnificent show over there. If you want to add free episodes,
go to Patreon as well. We got some ads tonight. So if you don't want to listen to them, don't. If you do
want to listen to them, support them. The holiday seasons are rolling around. Our ad guys going,
hey, it's really rocky out there. You guys should hit these. And we help us out with the sponsor.
Five stars,
kind words, if you haven't already. I have some house creeping. Yeah. Bravo.
I'm going to talk to an employee there, actually, a Jen PR. Um, you know,
Natalia was going to come on the show. Yeah. And we spoke on Thursday and you said,
uh, I'll let you know Monday. I'm not going to say the day we're recording now,
but it's three days past Monday.
You have not responded back.
And now Natalia is no longer responding,
so I assume you got to her.
Our relationship is once again dead.
And so I'm making an announcement to all the C rats,
future C rats, past C rats,
hitle patty up.
Right.
Patrick Kiki, 500 on Instagram.
Yep.
And you can also hit me up at Dylan Pete
right on Instagram if you'd like to.
You want to come on the show and talk
whatever you want to talk about without Bravo's
fucking thumb on your fucking back.
Come on the show.
Bravo for the last time.
Go fuck yourself.
We're going rogue now.
Now I'm gonna have everybody come on here
and they're gonna talk smack about you guys.
They're gonna talk smack about production.
They're gonna talk smack about how you guys manipulate them.
How you guys don't let them fucking make money.
Not money for you Bravo, we're going rogue Bravo.
This is not good for you Bravo.
So for the last time Bravo.
Go fuck yourself.
Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.
I can't wait to see rats.
Hit me.
Hit Dylan.
I are up.
We'll have you on.
Let's talk a bunch of smack about how horrible Bravo is.
So I cannot wait to talk to Chef Rache.
Actually, that is going to be it.
Rache, I want you.
Come on.
I love you.
By the way, little tip of the cap.
I appreciate the eating ass comment on Captain Lee. I know that was
a tip and a nod to us. Right? Is that the explosion?
Of course, yeah. A tip of the cap. So real quick, we got to get into the show, but you know,
those reviews, we really need to help there. And I wanted to give an example of why we need
your help. Oh, someone wrote some bad about it.
Yeah, so LC-828 wrote one star, check your work. T it three recent episodes because I enjoy funny commentary about Winterhouse, bad TV.
It's over there.
Go listen.
All episodes seem to start in the middle and end early.
Also, maybe I missed some type of joke about why you called Craig Greg an entire episode
because of this.
I really hope that this is what happened because they literally have his name on the
screen 12 times in episode on Bravo. Now, listen. to those people who haven't listened to bad TV. We do
call Craig Greg because he is a horrible person and he deserves to have his name said
wrong. The episode start in the middle because we have cold open. That's what those are
called you fucking idiot. So leave nice views. Let's get into the show.
Unbelievable. So, um, that's what we have to consider.
Start a podcast. And we'll read some positive ones next week. I promise. Hold me to that.
Because we see some positive reviews that make me, we, I love seeing the egg salad recipes.
I love seeing the egg reds. So below deck, okay? Yeah.
Yeah. So below deck is one heck of a show. Lea's dying. The sea rats are getting heated
up and Rachel is buying bulk batch frozen rotten fish. Okay. Hence the title of the episode
you catch that. Yeah. The deadliest snatch.
The deadliest snatch. Now, if I could get into my pots, I was pleased. Yeah.
The show is firing on all cylinders right now. And in the right gear, you know, we don't need
to be in fifth right now. It's only the second day of school. We need to ease the clutch into
the sucking, the fucking, but what we have right now is the muck bubbling. We can see what will
crest through that gross gross layer of C rat
Stuff and it's gonna be really really good later, but right now all we need the show to do is set that groundwork and that is exactly what it's doing.
Camille and Alyssa, Ross being some type of, we'll get into it later, but I'm loving
what the show is doing.
The foundations of the season are pretty solid now.
It will turn to rot later once we're at episode 27, but right now 100 pots.
That's all I can give it 100 pots.
It's all I can give it 100 pots. It's all I can give it 100 pots.
All right, I'll keep my remarks brief.
Lee was on fucking fire tonight.
I thought it was Lee as a...
Yeah, started to get anti-Semitic tonight too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's just a little poor, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
All right, we're gonna break down all of the Leeisms tonight.
Whether or not he crushed... episode the deadliest snatch
what a classy episode title
uh... for not
so lea had nerve issues last time and cameo and elisa
where at each other's throats but
this episode kind of kicks off with grunts
oh really you think so stalking fridge uh... gate
uh... not sure we needed the
first two minutes of this episode to clear up the epic controversy that is
stalking a fridge gate but okay well that was the real beginning of the
episode but when i heard these grunts these four am grunts i could have sworn
it was the uh...
just just wrecking his sciatica with a pretty sizable bow movement,
but it was in fact, Tony doing fucking capoeira for four hours, I guess.
Now, I appreciate this, Dylan.
Okay, it's break dancing yoga.
Yeah, it's a little weird, but he started doing this.
He explains this because he wanted to complete.
Do you ever play Tekken?
Tekken, what is that?
Not Tetris.
Tekken.
What is that?
It was a fighting game.
Oh, I think the guy named Eddie was a capwara artist.
He was very good.
Go ahead.
Oh, okay.
Well, look, a lot of people get outside, breathe some air, do a little exercise, that combats
a depression.
I like it.
It's so much better than listening to the cure.
You know the band, the cure.
That music just puts me in a mood, man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The cure.
Right. It makes you feel like you're on ketamine
when you're listening to it.
But not enough for it to be productive,
not enough for it to send you into a cognitive state
where you can learn a little about the fabric of reality.
Just enough to bum you out and make you feel like
you're on fucking ketamine.
So bummer. Okay. a fucking cat. Bomber.
Okay.
So next day, next day, interior seems to be doing well.
Haley knocks it out of the park with a wicked
table scape that includes placing plates in the
correct position, five star service and breakfast will be
coffee, vomit, keto muffins and truffle oil.
Rage, what the fuck is going on?
She's losing her fucking mind.
But back to that fucking table skate.
Haley is fucking on fire with setting plates and forks on the table
before the guess wake up, Frazier is overjoyed. That's quite a standard
Frazier. Great job. And I saw those plates and those forks putting the right spot.
I thought we can do this. We can do this. So Alyssa is my least favorite
person on the show.
Really?
Well, she's damaged Dylan.
We're gonna find out later on.
So you have to work, honey.
Two years later.
Two years, C-Rat histories are so sad.
You know, actually, I'm sorry.
I mean, they're so unbelievably sad. I'm gonna go after the producers of this show. You know what actually, I'm sorry. I mean, they're so unbelievably sad.
I'm gonna go after the producers of this show.
You know what you're doing, right?
I mean, I've been recapping this show for four years.
It just, it never, it never stops being sad
when you get so sad.
Like, there are the occasional culverts
in that boring read and they are like country bumpkins
and they're just going on a little like one year journey
to like, I don't know, clean the water off the boat.
But they're gonna go back to, I don't know,
go back to school or whatever,
but some of these other sea rats.
See after where, Connie?
Two years.
Yeah.
That really bum me out.
It's kinda like listening to the cure.
So, Alyssa is a fucking rat. She tells Frazier that Camille was stomping her feet when she gave her a command last night. Now, the reason why I was
so revolted by this is because there's really no need to do it. Frazier doesn't even take any
action against this. It's such a nothing bird. Well, he realized he needs to be more of a boss. He
bitch now, but Dylan, but I completely disagree with you. This is the moment that you
start planting seeds and management. Right. This is how you can eventually get someone
fired. If you don't say stuff right now, you don't go to HR and start going, Hey, you
know, Lisa's, you know, she smells over there in the cubicle. I think she's eating a tuna
fish sandwich or something else, you know. Right. What else would it be?
I don't know.
But my point is, I knew it was going to be that.
And now I think I have to bleep it.
And I shouldn't ask the question because it, you know, it's not a lot of work putting
in the bleep.
You just have to search up the bleep sound and then it's a little loud so we got to turn
it down.
But I just drop it in.
But, you know, I didn't need to pry any further
because I knew that you were going to talk
about the fetid-
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
And I gotta bleep that now,
and I've just, I've lost it.
I've completely lost it.
Look, sir, you asked the question.
Here's my point.
You got to get out in front of these things.
If you're gonna get someone fired,
you start on day one.
I don't like Alyssa, and that's not a micro aggression,
it is she's mean.
I don't like her.
Camille's a piece of work too, K.
Oh, of course, of course.
Camille is a loof, and she keeps talking about that
quarterback.
That's a feather in a cap. By the way, I got cheated on one time.
I got in the SEC. Okay, that's that. Yeah. By the way, I was gonna say it was a downgrade for you,
cleaning shit out of a toilet, but being cheated by a quarterback who played for what?
Some college team. Oh miss. Someone wrote it down and you know even with someone telling us exactly what it is i still don't remember
so we've got to get on to Rachel being stoked about the beach day she lived in a
place well as sweaty cock and tyland
and is ready to blow paying out of the fucking well hold on is she from
uh... lived in a place in ty Thailand called sweaty cock or learned perfecting a traditional dish called sweaty cock no
she I think she was from there oh no no no that a dish called sweaty cock and I've
heard it goes well with a a side dish called stinky koochi okay so we've got a
blink
Hey, you asked, man.
That time I didn't. So they, oh, hey, Rach, blowpang away all you want.
Let's try to keep it to a half hour late this time.
Maybe she's the truffle oil a little bit.
So they headed the beach wall.
The guests hit on Tony and Haley shows the guests
how to twerk lazily.
Camille, once her toes hit that sand
decides that she is going to hit the water.
She says, I'm not here to just serve people
and do what everybody wants.
Camille, yes you are.
You are dear.
I think she's trying to make a TV hey
with her combatantness combatant, combatant,
in laziness.
Yeah.
You know, it's, you only got so much time on TV,
you gotta become the villain and, you know,
make me curious.
Camille's gross, but at least she's fun.
The list is just not even fun.
She's mean, she looks at Camille, she can't even look
because she's so revolted, that didn't make sense.
Let's move on.
Well, I was gonna say one thing about this beach party set up.
Yeah.
The guests are supposedly hungover.
Right.
Yet the second they're complaining about how fucking hungover.
Right.
They are.
They swear off alcohol.
Yet when they get to the beach,
they start tossing back those Moscow meals
like it's going on a style.
Good for them.
Yeah.
Okay?
Because they were drinking all night.
It's not like they have to show up in an insurance office and pretend like they're taking a dump for three hours in the bathroom.
You know, pretending they have to go to the bathroom, but you hung over. Yeah, well, you know
that about boosters, right? You know, they say, I'm not going to do that anymore. You know,
I'll swell and never do that again. And then, you know, how long does it take? So Dr. Tanya heads over for the sound bath,
the Rishi sound bath.
Camille says, hello, I heard it was true
that you were coming.
Are you a fucking lazy robot?
What is wrong with you?
They do the singing bowls and Dr. Tanya
starts to gently touch the navel of the guests.
And then she's out of there like it never happened.
Well, I don't want that though.
Don't touch my belly, Dr. Tanya.
That's very, very strange.
Food is served and Lee heads into the galley.
Looks like we've got a new hobbled capped in time.
Yeah, but I only got two more days on the crotchet.
Right, right.
I'll show you the yellow fuck.
So lunch is beautiful.
We've got lunchpale bals, we've got spring rolls,
Tomka, Pad Thai.
This is the kind of light bright cuisine you want to eat in paradise.
This is the kind of cuisine that lights up your palate and it lights up your heart.
Four pots.
The dequees want to show, want to shower with one another.
Now the sexual tension between Ross and what's the one?
Ross.
Ross the one.
Oh God, she's cute.
She's one of the other, Katie.
Katie.
Katie.
Even if that's not her name, she looks like one of those.
So they're going to enter one another
and then he will be rude to her.
So, Haley says one of the more
narcissistic personality disorder things
I've ever heard in my life.
Her tits are so good looking that she master bates them
that went under the radar a little bit and it was passed off as a kind of comedic comical thing to say
It's not quite Jeffrey Dahmer, but it's really, really concerning.
Well, Dylan, here's the issue.
Don't be concerned.
These are TV fame horrors.
Have you beat off to a picture of yourself?
Never.
That's odd.
That's odd trying to say.
But what I'm saying is, you know, Camille and Haley,
and why I can't stand Haley more than Camille,
but they're both the same person
that filled out the application to be on this boat.
Is now we've learned,
because we've done dozens and dozens of interviews,
and now I realize people are just going to boat school,
and they're showing up on the shelf.
Haley is that person, so is Camille.
So is that person.
I mean, Camille was just being cheated on
by some guy who played college football.
How do you beat off to yourself? That is so bizarre. That is so...
Patrick Bateman did.
Kind of. No, he still needed holes.
Yeah, he needed a hole.
He still needed blood.
He killed her with a cinder block.
Remember that scene that was absurd. She's running down. She almost gets away.
No, he does not kill her with a c block. He kills her with a fucking chain saw
Oh, right drops a chain saw down the fight upstairs and does that weird thing where he sticks his tongue out what an odd film
So Rachel knows that
She has to deliver today because the guests now want something even more special because
When you start off with dinner an hour and a half
late, they want it ramped up to perfect. But it looks like we're not starting off well
with this Playboy debaucherist party. Like I mentioned, it seems that she's ordered 40
pounds of flash frozen rotten fish and fish. And she can smell it.
And she is in a panic.
But we'll get to that later.
Tony does not like his abs for vanity.
He likes the utility of his abs.
Well, that's a true spirit, jungle spirit right there.
Well, I appreciate he's being cool
with being objectified, you know?
Right, right. Yeah, no, he's super cool. So sexual tensions, you know. Right, right.
Yeah, no, he's super cool.
So sexual tensions between Ross and the other one continues.
He's one of those freaks.
He says he's into group sex and he speaks about sex
like a robot with autism.
It's, he's like sex is rather pleasurable, is it not?
Are you from fucking Mars?
Why are you talking like that?
I'm sorry, was that about Ross?
Yeah.
His face looks like he was in the madman error to me.
Like he looks like he should have an ass caught on and drive like a fancy car with no roof
and fuck 20-year-olds.
Right, but he's a sea rat.
Yeah, well, yeah, he's a fucking sea rat.
Can't wait to get to his history.
Oh, yes.
Oh my God.
So, Rachel is making marginal improvements tonight. The food is not an hour and a half
late. Unfortunately, the menu does consist of because of the rotten fish. Of course.
Truffle fries, steak and a side salad. We've gone to...
This is Texas Roadhouse. Yeah. It's dressed up texas roadhouse the sorbet is
played well but rage i mean you're putting petroleum product on fries and
ordered forty five pounds of frozen rod and fish could a trip or you're
better than this i'm gonna give them you a one-pot i mean we're texas
roadhouse is the worst i've ever seen now dilland rage said she pulled it
off and it sounds like you've already chimed in French fries. Yeah, yeah. She's like, fucking key-go tonight.
Unbelievable.
I don't know what happened to this chef.
This chef is in first gear.
She is coasting right now.
Why don't you ordering frozen fish, right?
You know better than that.
We've got Spana Culp it on, Adventure,
who is literally hitting the streets
and sourcing her own ingredients.
Yes.
And then we've got fucking Kudertripper over here
who has the talent imbued within her.
It's in her fingers, it's in her heart.
And she is just chucking up Texas roadhouse.
I'm telling you, here is,
maybe the bag of tricks has, you know,
you can only pull somebody tricks out of there.
This is her third season, dude. Yeah.
You know, we talked to her a couple months ago.
And she said she was done.
I think you are too.
Yeah, I can't wait to talk to Rachel, because Bravo.
We're going, Rob.
We're going to Rachel and she's going to talk a bunch of shit about you.
Hey, I want to point out, Captain Lee was at this dinner.
Yeah.
And this was one of his more better performances,
because he was actually a human being.
I mean, he sat through and smiled in whatever, through I think one of the couples there said that
data been married 22 years, but you know, they're only a little bit of a space because they've been
divorced and they're remarried. And I was like, you know, that's some Elizabeth Taylor shit. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. We just smiled on. Yeah. that's the kind of Lee I want on this program
Right, I don't want angry Lee which we will get to
In minutes
I can't wait so let's get to the debaucher's party
What happens? Okay, so the guest demand a stripper Tony is woken up. What a sweet guy says this is what I do
You got to entertain guests? Absolutely, so he's got his 12 pack out and then Ben joins in
and forgive me for the microaggression.
I keep forgetting which guy is which,
they're kind of similar guys.
You can't microaggress two whites.
Oh, okay, they're white.
Ben and.
Tony, they're white, aren't they?
Oh, oh, Ben and.
Ben and Tony.
Oh, I thought, okay, Ben and Tony, you know that makes it a mop.
That's crazy because Tony is a, Tony's Eddie from Tekken and Ben is just, he's, he's,
he's mission impossible to Tom Cruise.
Australian, not, I was attractive, not movie star, not.
Let's bring it to the audience.
Do you screw these two people up?
Leave it in the comments.
So now Alyssa realizes the lady bitch
didn't do her job.
Yeah.
But I don't like the, that's a rude descriptions
of a coworker.
They have a passive, aggressive dust up.
It's not a passive aggressive dust up.
The way that she speaks to her is fucking revolting.
Once again, she's drunk on power that doesn't exist.
You scrub shit, she does dishes.
You do not have power.
But Dylan, hold on, hold on.
Don't give me that powdery face.
You don't know this girl.
Don't speak to people like that.
One of these people has a three inch piece of fabric
on their shoulder.
Yeah, it says.
We all know a guy who only occasionally shaves for big occasions, and it's because that
occasional shave really hurts.
The time of year for big occasions, and yet there he is, suffering with that cheap drugstore
razor, let's help him out.
Henson Shaving's line of razors, built with aerospace precision, deliver a smooth shave
your dad, brother, and even sunken a joy.
Eventually, with replacement blades just 10 cents each, you'll buy it once and they'll
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I'm more important than you, right.
And that's Alyssa, and she's power drunk, and um, she shouldn't bessa and she's power drunk and she shouldn't be because she's a C-Rat.
Now, she seems to be interested in Ben, but Ben becomes more yummy when she knows that
Camille is interested in him. Now listen, they're all C-Rats. There's no commitment between these things.
And by things, I mean the people. But this seems very
pointed and filled with vengeance. You know, it's kind of grossing me out. It's gross.
So let's get to the next day. How can you like another person to be turned on
and another person because someone else wants them? You're evil. And your mom said, hey,
I'm going to work and then came back to years later. I heard people heard people. So
you know what? Hey, Alyssa, if you're listening,
don't fucking talk to Janet Bravo.
Hit me up, we'll have you on.
Let's break down all of this.
Yeah, we would love to talk to you.
Fuck them.
As so is often, so is often the case.
We talk to these people and then things are all groovy.
So fuck, Jen, fuck Bravo.
We're going rogue, fuck Bravo.
Let's get to a break.
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All right, we're back. So next morning, Lee isn't choppy water. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, truly see a nonsensical turn of phrase that defies any sense of logic.
Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.
So this is the referring to Caribbean wins. He says, and I quote, it's rolling around like
a goddamn pinball in a slot machine. Nope. Okay. You know, when you go to Vegas and you
pull the lever on the slot machine, you can't wait for the pinball to hit that number.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Boy, someone's really screwing with those slot machines.
This man should not be driving a boat.
Okay.
He conflated two machines together and then they allowed this on TV.
Okay, here we go. All right. You know, I'm gonna
I'm sorry. I was gonna say you're gonna say yeah, let's let's get back into the show. We're gonna break them all down
There's something about pork and juice later
So fucking idiot. All right, so I
Think no, no, no, no, no.
We'll get to more leaves right now.
We have to get to Seerat history with Alyssa.
Pat, do you wanna take this one?
Oh, Jesus, okay, okay.
Are we bouncing around there?
Hold on.
Okay, alright, Fraser and Alyssa chat.
And we learn a little about her.
Mom and dad divorced.
Obviously, first trade of a Seerat.
Lived with dad, but he's like down with the Lord,
which makes her think he's kind of a hard ass.
That's no fun, you know?
But while he was the parent, you know,
mom showed up one day to say she's going to work
and then she didn't come back for two years.
Oh my god, that's sad. It's all sad and
And the being a submissive child, you know, because she got a lot of shit. That's why she lashes out like
Idiots like Camille, you know, so this is one of the 31 flavors of C-rad pain, right?
Running away from religion. And then another one of the 31 flavors of C-Rapane
is obviously the absentee parent, right?
So this is a Sunday of sad.
And the cherry on top is really just the detail,
the visceral tangible sadness of seeing the mother close the door saying she's
going to go work a shift and then coming back 700 days later.
Now look, I want to say this to the audience that's hearing this and going, wow, you guys
are having a lot of fun with this.
Just so you know, a little patty history.
My dad took off when I was two, disappeared for about six years,
and then I, he showed up at my freshman year in college, stayed in my dorm, which my
roommates thought was very weird, didn't pay for anything.
I didn't see him for 16 more years or hear from him, so I know the same pain. So when
I make fun, I make fun because I can relate.
Yeah, and listen to this, when I was 13 years old,
it was a big birthday for me.
And so we had a lot of the kids come over to the house.
We took a limo to the Paramount lot because we were going to have a private
screening of School of Rock. One of my friends, Matt,
who was an actor, threw a lime into my neighbor's
house and came over and he almost called the entire thing off. So when you guys are hearing
us be mad, happy, joky about other people's pain. I'm fucking believe we'll do that.
No, that we have lived it too. Hold on, Dylan, Dylan, hold on. That happened to you the entire birthday,
almost got called off,
because Bougar from the hot chick through a lime
over my neighbor's fence.
So that's sad.
Yeah, it's really, really sad.
Now, let's get to the...
Elise, suit.
Yeah, we gotta get to the shirt.
It's too small. Yeah, you got to get to the shirt. It's, uh, it's too, uh, too small.
Yeah.
You know, you want to hear what he says?
Well, yeah, he says, uh, it's like a pork sandwich at a Jewish picnic.
Now, uh, Dylan, oh, yeah, hit the, uh, this what we think about this.
Lee, you're a loser.
Dylan, because I'm a goiem, and I'm not exactly sure
if this one lands.
Well, you are, goy, yeah, I'm sorry.
All right.
Does this land, you know, is this expression
of pork sandwich at a Jewish picnic?
Sorry, there is a retro sun hour, a sunset one hour
about to play on YouTube.
Sorry, no, of course it doesn't make any fucking sense.
And,
it's sorry, what is it again?
He says a pork sandwich at a Jewish picnic.
That's how he feels, referring to his body
because it's in a tight situation
because I think he's wearing frasures, sure.
Yeah, so we could do this.
We could break down the lunacy of it if we'd like to.
Is he anthropomorphizing the pork sandwich
being uncomfortable, being out of place
in a place where it's not wanted?
Is he talking about the slavvantly tongue of the Jew?
Wanting...
You think he's smart enough to go that deep down.
Wanting to taste the trichanosus riddled meat that they have not been allowed to taste the trickinosis riddled meat
that they have not been allowed to consume
for the better part of two millennia,
I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.
But with Kanye saying what he's saying,
you know, the Jews really need all the help they can.
Exactly, and Lee is just, it's sad honestly.
It's really, really sad.
Well, we have one more to go and we'll get there.
His next one is six million, more like 600,000.
What the fuck, Jesus?
Are you at fucking Mar-a-Lago with Kanye?
Jesus Christ Jesus fucking Christ.
It's not cool.
So Ross wants to spread his load all over his deck team.
You better start fucking,
because right now you're just a sex obsessed
and you're kind of an in-sell.
You look like a bit of an in-sell.
Here's another thing.
You're just talking about sex a lot, so.
So here's another trade of old-timey guys.
They get all those gross jokes.
Like, hey, I just want to spread my load.
I mean, I'm totally kidding.
I'm talking about my calmness.
Yes, you are.
You're doing a Cosby kind of, but also he's not an old-timey guy.
He's a young, young man.
I'm saying he's a young person in an old, soul-grossed person's persona.
He's madman to it.
He's at a cocktail party and this line he He thinks works with you know all the associates and
Exactly
That's a beautiful necklace
Is it pearl right stuff like that and then there's the good old-fashioned just the a slap you know
Which which used to happen a lot more of a time?
Yeah, they like it what a while which used to happen a lot. It's more of a tough. Yeah.
They like it.
What a wild time to live in as a woman,
you're a typist just getting your ass smacked
by fucking sorry to use the word,
but Slavinly Drunks who just came back from life.
You imagine being a husband, it's a plumber,
and your wife comes home and you're like,
do anybody slap in your ass at that office. No honey. Yeah, I felt thank God
We've gotten better because the you know like I said on love is blind
I mean the patriarchy just needs to be slaughtered right so we've got another leoism
Oh, yes, and this one is
Regardless of the
Vieryland anti-Semitism in the last one, this one is worse because what
it's doing is breaking something that isn't broken.
Pack, go ahead.
Okay.
Here's the third leasem.
By the way, because I think he's hobbled, I think he needs to put, that's why we got three
leasems in a single episode.
You know, normally they sprinkle these about through the 16 episodes.
Three in one episode.
Right.
You know, he's giving it, he's giving it his all, you know.
This is his third leism.
Referring to docking, I'm as nervous as a fucking whore in the front row of a puet at a church.
Do you kiss your mother with that dirty fucking pig mouth? You pig? Oh, I'm
sorry. You fucking pig. It's you fucking god damn roly-poly little fucking pig. It's
2022, sir. I'm sorry. I know you're nervous. It's selling koochi for money as sin in your
world. I think it's an exchange of goods and services, sir. You remember like when
you were working at the crab shack and you'd sell fucking
Fetted fucking shellfish to people. It's an exchange like that. Lee don't judge sex work. It's real work. Not what you do
You just sit around play fucking fruit ninja and complain about the wind
God damn hard. All right, so who uses the word who does that? I hate this guy.
I wanna explain, hold on Dylan,
I'm gonna just only take 30 seconds here.
Here's why I hate Lee.
Lee reminds me of every douchebag assistant football coach.
Every douchebag teacher, every like mid-level manager
at a fucking restaurant where I was a dishwasher.
The guy with the little one liners and shitting on you
and always starts off with negativity and threats
and I can fire you.
I don't know why the audience likes this prick.
Yeah, it's, if you're listening,
which I know you're not,
cause you're a scared little bitch,
but I know people, you're little aculites,
like send you things like,
and why you still ain't us.
Yeah, sure, sure.
You're losing.
like send you things like and why you still ain't us. You're a loser.
Oh my.
Grandpa, give it up.
Give someone else a chance.
Like God, the vitriol right here.
I hate it.
I gotta say, I'm getting closer and closer to you
because what's really bad about this season
is the network leaning into the star power of this man.
Oh, the reverence forms sucking up to him.
Like I learned a lot from Lee.
Well, but also the promos about Lee is on fire and all of Lee's like
compilations of Lee's nonsensical isms, like everybody's leaning into this.
I love the assistant coach thing because it is like he's somebody who got conscripted,
but the army didn't want him,
but he still has the raw, raw attitude of somebody like me.
Don't listen to this guy.
Trust your instincts, he's a prick.
If you work for him, he's the meanest, angriest,
bitter, bastard that you've ever met in your entire life.
I love that guy.
And if he hooked up a TV gig 10 years ago and somehow he's eaked out an existence that
he doesn't deserve.
Please come on the show.
Let's fucking debate this.
It might be a jerk or no.
Kind of.
I don't think he's a bad boss.
I just think that he loves the line.
Light a little bit too much and I think that we've got the it all right so
we've got to get to boat anchors finally and what well there's this
goddamn winds blowing like uh Tarzan you know sucking sap from a monkey's
asshole and then the guests up, they, they dock fine.
And then the guest to part.
Now, Alyssa is hunting for abs,
but then we sit down for a hefty, hefty tip.
Oh, man, I really wanted to go in on leave
for this tip time because you know,
the guest to part as angry Lee, he's,
he mutters the words, no doubt in my mind. Because the phrasier walks over to him. He's like you know, Captain that will never happen again
We'll have a shirt no doubt in my mind and then like I forget where Hayley walks over
I am so sorry that we did this to you. You know will never happen again. No doubt my mind
I want my own meal cuz I like it old me or charios god damn it tip time
Okay, it's tip time. We've got a hefty hefty tip. Oh, yeah, yeah, we do actually. Yeah, you want me to say it? No, okay
It's 25 grand. Yeah, that's a lot of fucking money. That's a lot of 2100 each and Haley immediately says she's gonna buy a Louis
Mm-hmm Louis a lot of 2100 each and Haley immediately says she's gonna buy a Louis. Louis.
Yeah.
I don't understand this, but you know I got a bunch of stupid arcade games and this fucking
thing.
So I like dumb stuff too.
Men and women are different.
Men and women are different, but um, sea rats are not.
They are all pained and they are all irresponsible with money.
Have a nest egg, Hayley.
Okay, do not shop for Louis Vuitton if you can only get it at the airport.
If you need to get it at the airport, that's not an economic place that you should be comfortable
buying that stuff.
I English bad, but you know what I mean?
You know what I mean? You know what I mean?
100% right.
So, um, sea rats need business management advice, I think.
So the war is waged, Alissa is not wearing underwear tonight
and could definitely go for a fuck tonight.
Is it wrong that I'm turned on by this pathetic device?
I find her attractive and I love that she's not wearing underwear.
I'm turned on. I'm a gross pig.
No, no, no, you're not a gross pig. Listen, it's a it's a very sexual trope. You know, I'm not wearing panties.
It used to be called commando, but right, right, right. Well, for guys, it's commando and for guys, it's gross. For women, it's cool because the
the, um, the labia majority is being kissed by nature. Okay. It's, it's being taken care of throughout the entire evening. There's a gentle breeze and a gentle warmth, uh, curtailing
it into perhaps a night of smile. That's what it desires, you know, um, it's taken on
a life of its own. And you can see it all cute up there and stuff and yeah, no, I get it
It's cool. It's really cool. Yeah, so
We get to Lameza and we're gonna see what happens a little toast from Camille first and then the battle is
Really well, she says everyone should get slammed and I appreciate the fucking effort by the way a hundred percent
Uh, and then you knowssa not wearing any underwear.
I love that spirit.
Yeah, no, you mentioned that.
So Alyssa says that she,
what?
She keeps saying she doesn't have panties.
It doesn't matter though,
Ben is only fixated on Camille right now
and Ben and Camille are fixated on their loss.
Yes, yes, yes.
Ben would rather talk about his drug addicted girlfriend
than hear about Alyssa having a freed labia madrura.
Check!
Check?
Oh, you dated a girl with a drug problem.
Check!
So Camille calls the men who work in this industry
the lost boys and then goes on to state something
that obvious is an understatement for us
because we've said it so many times.
How fucking profound.
Yeah.
I'm sure you listen to our show.
Yes.
She's running away from things.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Yes.
You know, we talked about it on below, I could venture,
but it was one of my favorite C-Ret histories
and some time, Faye, the chiefs do of the vessel said that she survived a toxic relationship,
traveled the world and found an industry that she was passionate about, which translates to
evading multiple beer bottles, running from every shred of pain in your entire life from Tahiti to Thailand and
then falling complacently into yachting. Well, she came back, I believe, as the story. Yeah.
I must survive. All right. So let's get to, oh, she, this is where Camille talks about dating me
at NFL player college. Here. Okay. Well, he cheated on you,
you know, Rachel covers the bill. Good move, Rachel. Deer them to you. But let's get back to the boat
and let's see this ball of snakes in a microwave man in a microwave. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
well, it's heating it up and that's what this see the lean cuisine's only been in for a minute,
right? They're still freezer burn on the potatoes, right?
But it will be mushy and hot.
We will.
We will.
But it's rock.
Right.
So it still tastes good.
Camille gives a hell of a lap dance.
That's a really, really kind gift to somebody.
I'm a turkey.
Um, and Alyssa is so disgusted by this that she has to leave.
She calls Camille a slut.
She calls her a whore.
She calls her a bitch. I don't like Alyssa
I know she's coming off a little meme right now
Yeah, but maybe we'll come around you're doing this thing that you're attracted to Alyssa
Yeah, so I
Wanted my horrible character traits is I let horrible behavior go by the wayside because I'm attracted to them. Yeah, well listen
Behavior go by the wayside because I'm attracted to them. Yeah, well listen
Better men than us have fallen prey to that same exact thing Winston Churchill I'm sure if I'll be to that exact same thing, you know
He was he was cool with lots of people
Yeah, sorry, yeah, I was I yeah on my next thought I hate how this episode ends because I was like it was
59 minutes and I was looking at the episode run because they put watch what happens
And I'm like nobody's gonna fuck no one's gonna fucking I'm like
Are they gonna drag this out another 50 minutes because I'm pissed and no they just have a quick shot of Lee waking up out of bed
And he's like I'm fucking numb
Right like you're gonna
Seriously, you're gonna fucking end this show with Leabing numb right?
Well, don't you mean you're as numb as a block of ice on a hot summer day or whatever the fuck that means
That's it for us jump the iTunes reading reviews if you do not want to listen to ads go to patreon if you do want to listen
The love is blind go to patreon join us on Facebook. We love the engagement there
You guys have really been posting some fun stuff love the fans. Thank you for continuing with me and Pat throughout these rocky choppy waters.
We can't thank you enough. It means the world to us, seriously. That's it. I'm Dylan Thank you. We all know a guy who only occasionally shaves for big occasions, and it's because that
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