Kill James Bond! - Make The Grandma Work | Below Deck Adventure S1 E5

Episode Date: December 3, 2022

Dylan and Pat are back to break down the dangers of the troll road, the intensity of the docking, how you can't just hire anyone, who Oriana's Captain is, cheeseburgers, burns, cooter boards and even more from Bravo's Below Deck Adventure.OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING WINTER HOUSE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.comThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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No intercourse. I'm pretty sure it's Captain Jason or Captain Glangolin. Pretty sure it's Captain Lee. But let's talk about the, do you feel gross about we just, don't we just, so we don't need to cut it right now. No, I don't know.

I don't know, I'll let you leave. I need to decide. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode. Uh, where is this? Norway? Norway? Well, no, but where do we put this show? I'm, I'm, I'm a free. It's free.

It's falling yarn in my head. All right, Deloitteck It's below deck. Deloitteck on the below deck feed. It's below deck two episodes of below deck a week in this feed and then two Episodes a week on bad TV Yeah, baby we cover winter house and sometimes we sprinkle in there batch Oh, no, not a battery anymore. Love is blind. I'll chuck this this one on bad TV too Just so you can go get acclimated with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm trying to convince Dylan, guys, get behind me on this, because I love this show

called Love After Lockup. Tell Dylan, we need to cover that show. We can make a lot of hair out of that. Also, Dylan and I were kicking around a couple of ideas. If you want to head on to that patreon.com slash the podcast network, Dylan and I are thinking we might watch a movie, and we all watch together. We've been talking about another movie podcast

for a long time. No, we're gonna do it this time too. What we're gonna do is we'll pick a movie, and I wanna watch the movie, Soulman 1987. Who's that actor I forget what his name is? Here's the plot, he wants to get into a college, so he puts shoe polish. Yeah, and who knows, I mean, I don't know

what movie we're gonna start with. I mean, that's a good candidate, but know this. You will pay. You will pay for that. But it'll be fun. Everyone, you know, we talk, we love movies so much. We just want to get into them when we're talking about bad reality television, like Polo Dexhaling Adventure,

whatever this show is called. Now, we have talked about this show being a bad show. Oh, this one. No, I like it though. I disagree with you. Tonight was a great episode being a bad show. Oh, this one. No, I like it though. I disagree with you. Tonight was a great episode. You liked it.

Yes. Loved it. I don't have a lot of notes on it, so maybe you'll carry this episode. Hey, by the way, permission to come on. Are you serious? Yeah. Permission granted, begrudgingly. Okay.

Pots. There was a lot of time on them having fun on those bikes going down that down, the most dangerous roads in the world. By the way, can you imagine being the tourism committee in that town? Like, hey, we're advertising this road. It's the most dangerous road on the planet Earth. It's got trolls. 300 people die a year on this and I go, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, look,

I like to be the best said everything, you know, but being the best at people dying on a road in our town, I don't know if that's a slogan we should be advertised. And they would say, no, listen, we're going to have, we're going to slap people like Jean on bikes and send them down the fucking mountain. If they die, they die. And again, the most dangerous part of it, are the trolls. Right, right, right.

They're massive, they are temperamental, sometimes they're nice, but they're mostly temperamental and they have big, big hands. They can just smash you off the road or smash you to pits. But Gene had a great time, I had a great time watching this episode. I don't know what's going on with my person right now. I'm just kind of in a loop of talk.

You sure want to just stop right now? Do you want me to take over? Yes. Okay. What are your knots? Oh, I gave this episode like 78 pots. I mean, I really enjoyed like, it's raining. What do we do?

Let's tape a couple garbage bags together and drape them over. We'll just hold it like they're like a palimquin, like a fucking b-rate fucking royal thing. What's going on with my talk? I can't talk. That's okay. I love that part of the episode because it would appear to me that the interiors now starting to establish some viewpoints of the decades. And I believe they describe them.

It just at least as an American is tweedle dumb and tweedle d you never want your uh... you your what do you call the dequeous that's uh... well how you delineate that uh... their committee not their committee their uh... department their department as dummies I did enjoy the episode don't I can't wait to hear what you have to say about some of the food. Yeah. I'm really enjoying Fay. I'm enjoying who's the chef? Is that Jess? It's Benacopina. Yeah, she's fun

for not What's so lovely about this season and what I think is going to be at saving grace is the incompetence of the crew, right? Faye is I mean, Faye is just categorically horrible at her job. Um, who is the one that wanted scrambled? There's like three people and two said they didn't like, how do you not know that thing? Um, putting the grandma to work as an employee of the vessel. She wanted to work. Imagine she just, it's so fun.

I love in the last episode, which was true and competent, Fey walks down and Jess is like, I need you to tell me when you're going to plate. We need to plate now. Yeah. No, I need, no, I need you to say it five minutes ago. Right, right, right. Yeah, no, so I think that is the saving grace of the season.

But like I said, great episode I said great episode tonight fun episode tonight We've got a mutiny brewing in the interior and we've got burns. So how bad could it be? Let's get into it last we left off spanic open a burn yourself very badly because all these goddamn dorks are all up in her shit We're trying to talk and you know Face says it's okay honey. She's a surprise. You know, see eggs are fine Spanic open I, so I'm not complaining about the fucking eggs, fey, my skin's bubbling right now. Jesus.

Hey, I wanna say this, the eggs are fixed, okay? And you know, I don't like to judge primaries or guests on these boats, I don't know how much they're paying today, but you know, normally say 60K a day. You just, you judge people who ask for a soft scramble and then when they get a soft scramble, they complain about it. Right.

A soft scramble is a very gummy, unique, I mean, it can be velvety to some, it can be unappetizing to others, but a soft scramble is a soft scramble. Go ahead. Well, this one was overcooked, I want to say, right? No, I was softer. No, I was softer. No, it was too mucousy. She wanted it fluffier, which means cooked more, which isn't a soft scramble.

Okay. You know when you see a face that bothers you, look, I like Lauren the primary, but that pus on her face is remind me of my sister-law, Amy. Yeah. Oh, check out another podcast network. What? That's the whole network. Check out another podcast show. It's dropping this Sunday. Man, does Pat have a I have a sister. I mean, and Odyssey. Imagine this. You have a relative that comes to your house to stay with you, not because they're visiting you, but they have a friend's daughter who's getting married. Yeah. And they free load off you never pull out their fucking wallet. Here's a great little tidbit from the story. So go

subscribe to that show. Listen to it if you haven't. Pat's sister-in-law went on a grocery trip with Shari. After not paying for anything and chucked in a couple airplane snacks and gadgets she needed and had Shari. Pay for it. 12 pack of granola bars and earbuds. Oh, Shari was pissed. I don't want my sister along my wife to hate each other, but well

That's that book's been written I think so so moving on to Spanic cup, but I just want to say oh You know what my I made the mistake of when Amy was asking what I do for a living. You know, I said, I, why podcast? And I went to her iPhone and I put below deck, it's just describing. I hope I, she hasn't listened. Amy, I was only kidding about that.

Amy, I heard all of it and you sound like an awful broad. So, I love Spanicopeta so much because she's just the only professional aboard this vessel I feel like. I mean, top down, Lewis is, he's a pillow. Okay. He's a pillow of a human being. Hard work or though, bad man. He's too tempered to be a human being

to be a professional captain. Kerry is just shooting the shit Bad man. He's too tempered to be a human being to be a professional. Captain Kerry is just shooting the shit with everybody's addicted to lenses. Spanicopita is a professional. And she's a badass. She's got a blister the size of Jupiter forming under palm, but fear not, Captain Kerry is going to help. He got his fey, Orianna and Casey,

who are all women last I checked and said, you can only piss with the dick you've got. Jesus Christ man. I mean, let's say you're working at Vox. I mean, you're going to get your fucking throat slit over there. Yeah. They don't even fire you in HR. They literally slit your throat.

Can I say something about Captain Kerry here stepping in the role as a sous chef though? I so appreciated this. You know, when your superior just gets down right at your level, and is able to just get in there and get your hands a little dirty, I appreciate it because you know. Oh, Dushka.

Well, right, it's just like Dushka, because we cover multiple below deck shows. This season, as we're covering, we cover Captain Lee's his yacht. You know, can you imagine Captain Lee being asked to help out? Yeah. Yeah. I think he throw in two disjointed rambling one-liners

and the malfunction like a fucking robot losing power. Yeah. God damn it, I got nothing, can I have cherry on? Right, right, right. Lee, you suck. Or like, you know, that idea turns me off quicker than a penguin in a desert. You know what the fuck are you talking about you get out of here. You're either gonna help or you're not get out of here. Oh man. So um, Carrie says in his OTFs, shot down at the garland.

He says, uh, it's been a cup of a burned her hand and chefs cook with her hand, so this is bad. Right. Carrie, what the fuck is wrong with you, man? I know. You already have Captain in front of your name. It's so easy for us to call you Captain Obvious. We would call you Captain Captain Obvious, I guess.

So the ladies will have Nathan and Mike there to take them onto the troll road. Yeah, the troll road. Now, Dylan, I love this because Feylotz, the horny divorces, no, as you pointed out, Mike and Nathan, will join them on that excursion. And the old one just comes right there. The old one, she comes in her pants.

And then Fay announces, she'll be there too. And I believe that's the old one. Once again, the female version of a woman losing her heart. Who are you talking about coming? The grandma. She wasn't coming anymore. She was like, oh, you're coming too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're gonna put me to work. I don't think you like old people Yeah, no, there's a lot of coming happening in that sense. Oh, yeah That one portion there so the grandmother's gonna stay in the car less she'd be eaten by the trolls on the troll road See rat history with Carrie makes a health conscious Quasine in that the food is so unedible. You have no choice but to starve Let's head to the troll road. Captain Kerry is such a dog. One of the guests says they have long legs

and Captain Kerry says I had noticed, but he was sarcastic in that. He means that he did notice in that. Captain Kerry, you could not work at Vox, man. I'm telling you, you could not do it. So Jess gets on the boat to go to the troll road. Why is... Spanicopeta has singed her hand. She literally has a sphere forming in her palm.

Why does she need to go on this? Well, she's got the chakutari. She's gonna break out there, man. She's got to pull all that power. How far... Pre-package meet from some local grocery store. How hard is it to chuck up a cooter board? I don't understand.

Why can fey not do this? Why can't span a copita? Not just take a little rest and throw some. What kind of lotion do you put on, Burns? Oh God, I know I was just gonna say that, man. Ivermectin. No, yeah, Ivermectin, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It works great. God, wait, Trump sucks. So you're you're right. God, I've got the best doctors in the world. I wrote Walter Reed. I was dead for five seconds. No politics. Hey, I gave me a cheeseburger. I sprung up. Yeah. Yeah, I had another one. I had another one. And then another one. They say, yeah, I don't all curbs your appetite, but it really doesn't and that's a bad Trump is that your Trump? Yeah, that's a bad Trump. Okay, so Dylan you pointed this out I forgot about this most of the chefs they don't show up to the beach party they don't show up to the the outings Yeah, the excursions you're right. Why is she here go get some rest rest. Go see a fucking doctor. If you're going to be in town,

go see get some Neosporin on there. Neosporin. Well, it's not Neosporin and it's not Aliveira. It's something else. It's Aliveira. Well, no, I had abbreviated that put or shortened it, but it's like a Hydrocycloax. Yeah. So just gets on the boat. Likewise, we said that not that good. They ask, what happened to your hand? She says, I burned it, making your soft scramble that you didn't want soft. And they laugh, and they laugh.

And they laugh. So let's get to the troll road. I have no interest in going on. Fuck the trolls. I can do the trolls. What I cannot do is the bikers. Bicyclists. Being in a car on this road is,

I recognize the beauty, the scenic landscape, the vistas and what not. I'm an erotic Jew. I'm not capable of ingesting the beauty around me if I have a traffic jam in front of me. Oh, people talk about PCH, it's so beautiful. No, it's not because it's always slammed with traffic. I don't appreciate the beauty of mother nature to my left.

Dylan, they had several shots of the guests on bicycles and Nate and Mike, and a line of traffic behind them. Okay, I ride my bicycle. Give me an AA, give me a get the fuck out of here. Now I haven't done it in 10 minutes because my buddy, John Jack, moved back to France and we used to do it every two months. We go on on Friday. We do like a three hour. I'm doing since John Jack left. I'm doing great. You know, I got Kaylin working for me. Yeah. Do you miss John Jack? Oh hell yeah, but I love Kaylin too.

You know, they're both great guys. Shout out Kaylin. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm playing him in fantasy tonight. Yeah, he mentioned that. He's gonna kick your ass. He said he probably will. He's got a great team. Yeah, he's got a great team. He took that.

Well, Stefan Diggs got 18 points. So, uh, you're playing right now. Yeah, that's a good start to wake their K who's, uh, filling in, uh, for the jets right now. He took that quarterback. I think that's a backup for flacco. No, no, it's fucking white. Tom white, uh, Tommy white. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, okay, go ahead. Oh, yeah. Yeah, sorry to talk about football. Oh, yeah. Anyway. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, sorry to talk about football guys. Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry. Usually next lane.

Okay, so I fucking feel bad for both parties. I've been on a bicycle and I'm trying to behave myself and respect that there are large vehicles that could run me over. And I obviously know I'm not a car, so that's why I don don't i'm not in the center of the road right you know right because i can't uh... i can't pedal right forty miles an hour so it's not right for me to be in the center you got a move over like being a decent human being that's what i'm talking about

uh... but this uh... this troll road it seems like they welcome bicyclists to take up the entire space of the road so that there's a line of cars behind them. And I mentioned early in the episode, 250 people die a year on troll road, and as a tourist commissioner, attributed to the trolls and how many are attributed to the... Tributed to road rage.

That's the math I was bringing up. Because I can understand why some people be like, God, don't fucking. Yeah. Move over. And then you get the middle finger. And I could see where some people then accelerate and drive people off the road. Right. So you can see it. You can see the impatience building and building and building the coming around with the flipping. Let's say the biker gets scared. Thanks to handle

over that way, they fall off troll eats them, right? Or somebody speeds around them, a car's incoming, troll grabs both cars, eats both cars, right? So that's the dangers of the 250 people die a year. So Orianna and Kasey are trying to slaughter one another,

but we'll get to that later. We've got to move on, but before we do, let's take a quick break to talk about them wonderful sponsors. Folks, no matter who you're shopping for, there's one sale you can't miss out on this season. Okay. Way is having an amazing cyber week sale. Sometimes you don't know what to get the people in your life. Be them, be them's be women, be them's be men. Give the gift of good hair this season, okay? We love

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Merry Christmas. Get this. It's a great gift. Hey, where's that second bag? Where's it? Hey, let's get on the phone with it. It's always the best way to communicate Talking to somebody who's riding a bicycle with wind at 30 miles an hour Do you know where the bag is the second bag? I can't hear you The bag the second bag. Do you know where you put it? I asked you to put it on what you said? I can't hear you. I'm sorry. I'm't understand what she's saying. She's talking about something cool.

I'm sorry. I'm doing something completely dumb. What I should have done before I called you was look in the vehicle, the trovacy because it's in the back seat. So we know this is five star service. And as it feels that it is not surprising that Faye has turned one of the paying guests into an employee. Love it. And half the fucking food is messing. But they do find that.

Let's get back to the troll road and Nate being the leader of the spirit squad. I don't know where this came from. I'm happy he's having a good time. And I'm also very iked out by it. I act. Yeah. Give me an A.

Shh. Don't. Don't Don't do that. We're not at summer camp. I'm paying a hundred thousand dollars a day for this vacation Get your spirit fingers the fuck away from me Nate. Well to be fair Dylan, you know, you're not his audience Some horny divorces are they fucking eat it up. Mike is not as good at it, right? No, well, no, Mike, he pointed out, you know, Nate's an attention horn. Mike's Mike. Right, Mike's Mike, but also Mike does dip his toes into the pump up

game, right? Let's get these cougs all hot and bothered. Let's get a bucket down there because they're going to need it. I didn't need to do that. That was gross But Mike tries his hand that it he goes hey Big Ben coming up you can Korean over that that'll be the last thing you ever fucking see Dude that's so scary that's I'm pumping anybody up at all not at're a stage left buddy. Hey, uh, can I do a meanwhile?

Yeah. Lunch, grandma. Yeah. Takes full credit for that table scape. Well, the poor mother I feel like was really resigned to the help she goes, uh, Is your inbox overflowing with Black Friday deals? Video you won't want to miss is blinds.com's biggest event

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It may be due to the whole table and they go, oh, that's great, Krama. Aren't you guys? No, I wasn't. I didn't want to do the whole table. All right, Krama. So as is below deck, a comedy of errors ensues, the rain is on its way. Do we have umbrellas? No.

No. Go to the gift shop. Hey, do you guys have any umbrellas here? By the way, Norway, I think it's like fucking Seattle. It rains 700 days a year. Easy here by the way Norway. I think it's like fucking Seattle at rains. 700 days a year. A year. Yeah. No.

Right. So no worries, we're gonna drape garbage bags over you while you eat. Anybody want another shot? Yes, but also please do not allow yourself to think we're having a better time because you come around with shots. This is inexcusable.

So Nate DeBanjian and other, yay from the guests. I had written Nate, the tip is plummeting, but evidently not. They all head back to the boat. Captain Kerry says welcome back. I've been doing what a good captain does. It sits on his fucking ass.

Well, he's at in the galley. How dare you tell him? He's working in that fucking fucking ass. Well, he's acting the galley. How dare you tell him? He's working in that fucking galley. He is not working in that galley. He is sitting on his fucking ass. So Jess is going to Rally and Carrie is going to Rally behind her. Orianna and Nate talk. You have anything from this?

Orianna and Nate talk. That's a no. So Fay heads out and asks the guests to confirm where they want to eat I'm sorry would you like to tell me what you'd like to have do that tonight? Hey in no world does this not come off as passive aggressiveness and Bitchy yeah, so don't do that by the way I love how we get a look back at the last episode We're all watching come on. We know what's going on here Yeah, no, we would like to still eat outside. Okay, great

I don't know where I'm gonna stop Start by I don't know stacking the fucking plates and bringing them upstairs fake Don't make the guests feel as though they're imping. What is it impending upon you impinging? What is it? I can't think tonight, man holy shit so Impungent imposing imposing So forgive us we've got more slaughter not I Mean us from for not recall it. Because it's bad pod to go like, who is that guy?

What was it? What are we, you know, but I always say people punch their steering wheel. Like God damn it's imposing. Right. So we're slaughtered between Orianna and Casey. Casey forgot the captain's laundry and that is when Orianna says, babe, how can we make that not happen again? Oh man, you should be drawn in quarter for saying that like that. Holy shit. Those are little.

Babe, how can we make sure that doesn't happen again? Those are the little lines that we need to get better on as human beings as we communicate because no one's going to win with a statement like that. That person is going to hate you and I don't think it's going to get any better. Casey says Orianna is power-hungry and calculated. I thought she was exaggerating until I heard about those epilets. We'll talk about the epilets. I don't know what happened with the epilets. I watched an entire show about the epilettes and I have no fucking idea what happened, but we'll get there.

Casey says that she has to watch out for her. True, but also I fear a bit of a projection. Casey is the most cutthroat out of all of them. You think so? Yes, she sees that Orianna is bleeding. She is going to the boason for her security while Casey lays in weight and sees the yellow war a failing to curry favor with the person that can actually hand out the stripes.

That's true. Casey is a bit of a power player. She's faking her accent like Madonna and that's gross. But, oh, you think Madonna's faking that accent? She lived in England for two years. It's completely... Hello, everyone. I'm sorry.

My son. From Detroit. I know about... I am well, I'm... Okay. Detroit. Do you want to go get a pony? Sorry.

So, mate, well, let's get to dinner first. Lemon Rizono. Very tricky, tricky dish to pull on while I'm sure Jess is perfect at this. What's tricky about it? Getting that lemon infused in the risotto while it's simultaneously cooking to perfection? Well, you know, interestingly, you bring that up. Lemon is a painstaking thing to infuse in a dish. I'm sure there's the juice,

but lemon seeds are the scourge of my culinary life, right? But also, it takes a lot of zest to make something. I guess not a lot, but I don't like zesting fruit. It's annoying, you need a microplane. I hate lemon seeds. And then lemon risotto requires a constant babying. You constantly need to add a ladle of stock, stir a little bit,

let it emulsify, add another ladle. It's just a very labor intensive dish. Of course. Right. Now, what a beautiful dish it is. Ruined by zucchini noodles. I thought that was trash. If you're trying to add a textural component

to this mushy, mushy dish, that's fine. But do not use zucchini noodles to do it, okay? I don't think they need to be there at all. We've got a beautiful complexion with just lemon, risotto, beautiful halibut and roasted tomatoes. That's a fine dish. Dress it with a little parsley

and some beautiful, beautiful olive oil. I've said the word beautiful 50 times and that's embarrassing. I'd say perfection quite a few times. But zucchini noodles belong on TikTok and keto kitchens. What? noodles belong on TikTok and keto kitchens. What? They don't belong on keto kitchens. They belong in keto kitchens.

zucchini noodles should not be anywhere near five star service that Jess is capable of putting out, okay? It's a textural car crash this dish. And there's no dessert. So I'm gonna go ahead and give it 41 pots. Okay. So Nate pops that top off and it's a battle between who's happier, Gene or Michael. And I don't blame them because I got to say the torso on that man. I mean, Nate is just a young hot piece of dick. He really is. You know, I love when Nate went in there and took a shirt off and

a face behind the curtain. She whispers, I don't know if I forget who it was, but she's like, I've never been so attracted to a black man. No, she didn't say that. She said, we just nailed the charter. That's what just nailed the charter. Get ready for tip time. Get ready for tip time. Hey, I do want to mention, just because I'm having some issues with the table scapes here, lots of antiques. Right.

Maybe I'm a purist. How about some white linens and some flowers that are native to the countries? Every single table scape makes me feel like I am in my mom's childhood apartment in Queens. I can smell the green carpet. So it's like Viking seat there. We move on past dinner and Jean who is sad or fun depending on how you look at it. Slugs down another big old glass of teeth staining red and beckons oriana into their sweep.

She asks, who do you want to fuck? Hey, which sea rat do you want to fuck? And when she says Lewis, Jean says, I see that for you. Now Dylan, I forgot to say this at the top of my notes. This is fun. Are people talking about this line? What do you mean? Well, I forgot to say this at the top of my notes. This is fun. Are people talking about this line? What do you mean? Well, Orianna makes a confession. She says, I've actually only hooked up with one coworker on a boat once. And she says, and I quote, he was a captain, and you know who he is. Right. We brought that up last episode. We did?

Yes. Okay. I think it's Captain Jason. It's definitely not me. It's not Lee because he's like, no, in, of course, only ass. And don't forget the step, children. I need testicles. You know what? I think you're wrong actually.

So let's break this down. We've got Lee who is a sedentary character, right? He doesn't move. He plays fruit and ninja. He eats Cheerios. He says nonsensical aphary character, right? He doesn't move, he plays fruit and ninja, he eats Cheerios, he says nonsensical aphorisms, right? In comes Orianna. Yes.

And now we've got the old man in a predicament. He needs to stand and he needs to fuck. Now Orianna is into it. And that's why we've got the sciatica damage. That's why we've got the bad guy. Oh! That's why we've got the sciatica damage. That's why we've got the bad. That's why we have Captain Lee ruined physically for season 10 of below deco G. Interesting.

Yeah. Lee Fukter. He Fukter. And she fucked him. She fucked his vertebrae out of position. She's a young stallion. And that tattoo of his deceased son on his pact did not bother her at all. She came to climax and she broke his back.

Well you'd ask her later on, hey, what do you think about the tattoo? It looks like you know some new good egg and she's saying, I don't even remember that. Yeah, it's mean. God, we're mean. No intercourse. I'm pretty sure it's Captain Jason or Captain Glendale. I'm pretty sure it's Captain Jason or Captain Glenn. I'm pretty sure it's Captain Lee. But let's talk about the,

do you feel gross about we just, we just, so we don't need to cut it right now. No, I don't know. I don't know. Okay, great. So, the thing about Oriana is that she's funny. I like her, yeah. The thing about Oriana is that she's funny.

I like her, yeah. She says she only dates people in power positions. Now one, don't say that. No, that's stupid. That's annoying. I go date the manager of Walmart at your local Walmart. Well, I love that you said that because I wanted to ask, how's that working out for you, Si, right? I mean, getting fucked by people who are in positions

of power is not the same thing as romantically involving yourself with them and then leveraging their position. Sure. Ask the thousands of women who have fucked Drake and have watched him dump hot sauce into a condom post-haste. They've not gained anything from that. What, my pussy's on fire Drake? I want to have children with you.

So, next day, breakfast is served, and Captain Kerry has got nothing for Lewis. Lewis goes, hey, we need some help. He goes, mate, it's a small industry, you know? We can't just bring anybody on here. Yeah, you can. You need a warm body, preferably warm. They could be half dead, I don't know.

Now, Mike, probably around a chada four, a chada five, I'm thinking. We can't just bring any old person on this bike. They could, I thought his marching was last episode was if you never anyone, and I compared it to, hey, you know any good taco places? No, I need a head hunter dude. So, we've got suitcase issues.

They're not getting their luggage in time and it looks like Mike is too busy eating cookies to do anything. No, the problem was Nate. It was a little wrinkle. Nate needed to take a shit. Yeah, Nate was taking a shit. And they had it. I love this.

They should play this at his wedding. Nate was beaten off because you could take a shit pretty quick. Ah, not if you have good literature at your disposal. You know, like golf digest or something like that. Oh, got it, got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, the farthest you're on. The shit book.

I don't have a shit book. Well, no, you don't want to keep those in your house, man. That's what my grandparents did. And I always be like, as I'm flipping through it, I'd be like, my grandpa, Allison, here, taking a shit, touching all these papers and his balls. If you wanna, you think, and they can incriminate you just like Walter White.

You flip to the wrong page, and you have a little passage of a poem in there that you're, you're, like Gustavo Frang wrote a dedication to you or something. You fucking nail you to the ground. Next thing you know, you're running the fucking New Hampshire hiding in a fucking oil barrel and you're getting chemo treatments by a third party.

Yeah, your phrase, your dick off. So I hated the last six episodes of Breaking Bad, by the way. I don't think hate is a good word. It completely flipped itself on the characters that it had established. None of the people were doing what they would have done Forgive me. I mean Pat Listen we can debate this stuff on a different property, okay?

So we've got a docking coming up Yeah, they docked fine. It was fine. Yeah, yeah. The entire fucking thing was fine. Wow. You know, right before that, I was like, is it a rock going to show up? Yeah. Yeah, it was totally fine. Nothing happened. I mean, the guys that are on the dock, they threw the ropes them, you know? Yeah. And then they tightened it around some metal. We can't just hide any old person. Okay, we can all fucking die, you know? Right, but yeah.

You could get a strong 12 year old to do this job. I think so. So moving on to the end of this episode, Pat. Yes. Did I yes Did I with the tip all right? Well prior to the tip meeting failure and epilepsy know that sound effect was I was right from a Trailer for a movie. Yeah as the beginning was the dark night trailer. I thought it was yeah I think we're gonna use that moving forward. I'm a huge fan of that sound effect. Oh, I love it I've got who did the music for that, but he's a genius, not James Horner. Rob Deerdeck. Yeah. Is it Rob Deerdeck? Well, he's a busy guy. You know,

he's got a hold down MTV for 24 hours a day. Yeah. Hey Rob, we got to renegotiate your contract. All right. Well, is it a billion dollars because it should be a billion dollars, right? Because what's anybody watching? It's just C.S. to key in me. Yeah, yeah. It's from six in the morning until eight o'clock at night. Right. It's Rob Deardrex. Because the challenge is on Paramount Plus now.

Yeah, they move that. So no one's watching anything but C.S. to key in me. Yeah, let me finish my point, you bastards. From nine to 10 is C.S. to keys, and then from 10 to six in the morning is raw deirdrics. Whatever the fuck that show is. I'm supposed to be robbed right now. Ridiculousness.

That's right. I hate, I hate that show. Yeah. Hate. Okay. So, fade learns, epilepsy have been ordered by... It's like America's funniest time videos, but with a tiny, tiny little man

and oversized skating shoes without half the charisma of the great Bob Sack. Whoa, this is fucking crazy right now. We're about to see and then he cuts to the fucking day. Yes, it's you normally that blonde haired girl and then. And also I want to see these videos of people rollerblading and falling off the rail and hitting their mouth on the rail. Whoa! I don't want to see that. Oh my God.

Yeah. The guy, I hope his balls are still there, man. Wow. He believed a channel called MTV runs that show 23 hours a day. Yeah. Unbelievable. Fae learns epilepsy been ordered by Orianna and she had a Lewis her, her guy. Yeah. Order that silly stripe that is...

Well, what was the tip? Oh, uh, the tip is 15K, a little light. Okay, so that's 1364 each. Shit tip, shit service. Don't blame them. Um, so... I was gonna make a joke about how Christ generosity does not extend this far, but just because your pious doesn't mean you have to tip for bad service.

Exactly. I agree. And the service was bad enough that I think 15K was totally right. Now, if you're going to make me feel guilty about asking you to move the dinner outside. Fuck you. I completely concur. Also, I think, oh my God, what happened either? I had a frog in my throat.

Okay. Also, I think this excursion below deck, I know last charter was 20K. Yeah. It's not the Caribbean. Something about warm water, I think you got a tip more while when you're freezing your balls off. about warm water, I think you got a tip more when you're freezing your balls off.

Yeah. Yeah, I think so. So we have to get to this hot tub night. Now, I'm upset about this, Dylan. Okay. We didn't go out to a bar or anything. Well, thank you. Hot tub night translates to everybody getting around the coffee tables, slugging back

booze. And there's no rose color to this at all. There's no. There's no for play. The for play is everybody going out to a dinner and mixing it up a little bit and then people get a little grabby and then you go back, you're already licked up, you saw a stuff. Right.

And the hot tub is like a dinner meant. You know what I mean? It's after dinner, this is where you're gonna kind of finish the night. And instead, it's like starting a movie right in the middle. It's like, they never, they just go, hey, everyone, go heat up the hot tub. Make some drinks. I don't want to divert, but I do have to say really quickly public service announcement If you are 30 minutes late to a movie Don't go to the movie

Not only is it rude to walk into a theater because it weirds people out because they think what kind of psychopath goes into a movie 30 minutes Like but also just for you You're 30 minutes late to the movie don't walk into the movie just do something else minutes late to the movie. Don't walk into the movie. Just do something else. Dylan, I'd say I agree with you. I see this happen all the time. Let's make that a law, but it's only on Fridays and Saturdays, starting at the 7 p.m. showing. If you want to show up 30 minutes, that's a map of four o'clock. You know, you're getting out of work, you're running the theater, maybe you've got to pick

up the kids for some fucking Pixar bullshit. Totally understood. Everyone's, this is your night out. It's day night, it's seven o'clock. You're not, now you're paying fucking 20 bucks for movie tickets and then you don't even get me star with all the fucking popcorn and bullshit. Yeah. You sit down, you got there on time. It's fucking Avatar 2. And then first scene, like, I don't know, I can't see. Someone's got the fucking iPhone lighting up to see the numbers on the seat Right right right Jesus fucking Christ people

You know I gotta say I want to see Avatar too. Oh you should like those are the movies that you got to see this is well I mean guy hasn't made a movie in 10 years. You got to see this movie. It's gonna be a fantastic movie dude Jimmy trailer gets Jimmy's scene knows how to make a film. He does. Okay. He does. He took, by the way, you joked about this. Bachelor eats up four hours a week of content.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Takes him 10 years. It takes him 10 years to create two. Okay. I love that. That you brought that up. Because that's how insane that is. That they will put that fucking horse shit in front of us and we recapped it and broke

up the band. So anyways. Go see Avatar too. Go see Avatar too. Go see Avatar too. Hey, wouldn't be great if we got to advertise them on this. Oh and also, who cares? Keep supporting us.

Who cares? So, Aquavit, did you notice that's our new core water? She just, what's her face? I think it's fake during the hot tub party. She randomly brings up, Aquavit, oh my God, do we have a new core and norway? And we do, and it's flavored licorice, and I hate licorice.

No, no, no, no, Pat, you're conflating, you know, this is where I do need Nick here. Okay, okay. Fucking chastise you to Kingdom Come. Fair enough, fair enough. Is that an expression to Kingdom Come? Yeah. AquaV is a liquor, core is a water, okay. We've never seen anything like core's placement in the certain season that we were covering, it was absolutely everywhere. And I don't know why I developed a list

right there, but I just did. Okay. So getting back to this hot tip night, the the pageantry that you were talking about, get them out, have them order some apps, have them bicker a little bit with a white table cloth, have them interact with the wait staff. We need that to happen because otherwise It's just a bunch of sea rats around a table getting drunk and that's what their entire lives are right and when you think about people Just sitting there drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking it just makes you sad You know, it's like I don't want makes you sad. It's like, I don't wanna watch that, it's fucking pathetic. You know?

So they do that and then they go up to the hot tub, right? And this is when the topic of the epilets gets broached. Now I feel as though I'm watching, you know, the first act of a Tarantino flick here, like there's something missing. There's another storyline that we have not been privy to. We didn't see Orianna saddle up next to Lewis and go, hey, I need you to order these.

Or am I fucking out of my mind? That never happened. So what happened? Okay, so in the hot tub, because Fay eventually leaves and goes out to the rainy street with her, what's going to be her second stew eventually, which is Casey.

So in the hot tub, she directly asks Orianna, did you order or tell anybody to order epilepsy for you? And Orianna says to her face, no, I don't know what you're talking about. Then her boyfriend gets in the tub and then Fei says, hey, Lewis, did anybody order epilepsy? How did you bring up epilepsy? He said,

Oh yeah, I talked to Ariata. She said, I need an extra piece of fabric that's three inches that means that. What happened? Yes. And then, so that makes Ariata a liar, obviously. She gets out of the tub,

Casey follows her, they go out to the street, they smoke siggies in the rain, and then they basically talk shit about what a psychopath Oriata is. And Casey goes, you know, I think you have a green aura. She says, I'm like, oh, that's so beautiful. Wow. What's that mean?

And then Oriana, or excuse me, then Casey looks at the camera and with a Cheshire cat smile, says, I've got her. All right, that's it for us. That's it. Jump in the comments, iTunes ratings and reviews. Join us on Patreon, lots of fun stuff coming.

We love you guys for supporting us. Thank you for doing so. Rocky times for us, it's still me and Pat trying to hold this thing down, but we promise that 2023 is going to be a really fun, exciting year. We're going to have fun. It's going to be so much fun. We hope that you guys all have an awesome holiday season, just a couple more weeks.

Let's all get there together. Hopefully, me and Pat can make you laugh and get you through these weeks leading up to Christmas and Hanukkah and Kwanza and the New Year. We love you guys very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat. Say goodbye. Later, dudes. and get you through these weeks leading up to Christmas and Hanukkah and Kwanza and the New Year. We love you guys very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat. Say goodbye. Later, dudes. Looking for a dentist that provides all the services you and your family need?

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