Another Below Deck Podcast - Mirrors in Steak | Below Deck Med S10 Finale

Episode Date: January 27, 2026

Dylan and Pat are back to break down love, sea rat babies, sea urchin cotton candy, crab, the Mona Lisa and more from Bravo's Below Deck Med.PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=enLumiGummies.com Code BADTV LolaBlankets.com Code BADTV

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at VolkswagenService.e. He's a fucking twisted human being. Agreed. Yeah. Well said. Thank you. Sorry, Joe, if you're listening. I actually don't care.

I don't apologize at all. You're a jackass. Go fuck yourself. Okay. The brand spank, a new episode of Bad TV. I'm Dylan. That's Pat. Hi.

How are you? Good to see you. Permission to come aboard. Why are we talking like this? I'm not really sure. You're going to drink the coffee now? Yeah. Pat, it's a cold brew. It's 440 in the afternoon. Yeah, I'm probably going to be up to like 10. I want to hang out with my wife. You're not going to be a lot. Good. You're not going to go to sleep. I got some date lines, some 48 hours to catch up on. You're not going to go to sleep until 1 o'clock and you're not drinking right now.

Yeah? I wouldn't. What if I just drink half? I'll take you to, I think, 1130. All right. Then I'll just have a couple more sips. Yeah. It's nuclear stuff. Is it really? You know what's not? Below deck? Yeah. Oh. I didn't hate this episode as much as you. Behind the curtain, we're pulling it back.

Dylan walked in here and said, I hated this episode. Yeah. Before we share on this episode, or you do, shouldn't we do some housekeeping? Of course. Okay. Do you want to... No. Okay.

Traders, the greatest show. Not that I'm like, no, I really don't. No, I just think you're great at it. Better. Yeah. Okay. First of all. Maybe not better, but I think I just, I think you're great.

I got it. Okay. First piece of business. We are covering traders. The last episode on the free feed, which is the feed you're listening to, dropped this week. Amazing recap of it. It's the best show on television. There's no denying that.

Patty did a great catty-patti corner. Oh, I did? Yeah. I forgot about that. You remember? Uh-uh. You were like, those outfits, honey. Oh, right.

Yeah. Right. Caddy-Patti is where I transform into a gay man as an ally of women, but as a gay man, I don't make the rules here. I am allowed to be very judgy about what women wear. You're playing in your sandbox. I don't make the rules. I just play along the rules.

All right, anyway, that's going behind Patreon. Yeah. And... Put on a t-shirt. Caddy-patti plays along the rules. That's right. I play by the rules. That's right.

All right. Patreon.com slash another podcast network. Love is blind dropping in two weeks. That show is absolutely horrible. Yeah. But we recap it and make it fun. And let's come on. I'll be honest.

going to watch it, of course you're going to fast forward through most of it, but that doesn't matter. You want to hear people shit all over it, and that's what we do best, and we'll be doing that with Ruby Wren. Lastly, old Patty is going to submit my last PMZ, that's at Patreon, to the Golden Globes for next year, the episode that Dylan and I just dropped this week. Talk the Golden Globes. Subbin it to the Smithsonian. I will. If you need to laugh, say you've had a bad year, bad life, whatever, you go over to patreon.com slash into the podcast. network and you listen to that PMZ. I did a reenactment of,

who's that character that I did that was the narrator for Wonder Years? Don't redeem it. Don't redeem it. No, no, no. Oh, sorry. Daniel Stern. Okay. He did the, he was also in Home Alone. But he was up in, I guess, Ventura County the other week. Oh, no, no, no. It was Camerrio.

Camerrio. And he tried to solicit a working gal at a motel. Yeah. And I did the Wonder the Wonder Years theme trying to solicit a hooker and it just made a bunch of the little baddies left. And you also,

you railed against prostitutes that had turned informants and that they were, I was actually a little like, thank God this is behind a paywall because you're like, you're already part of a disgusting class and how could you turn fed?

It's just, you were like, poor Daniel Stern essentially. I was like, Jesus, Craig. I didn't do any. No. I didn't do any of that. It was really funny. Oh.

It was really funny, though. Oh, no, I didn't do it. Anyway. All right. All right. Back to below deck. Dylan, take the honors. The honors are not mine because there's no, no thing honorable about this end.

We are just, the fumes are empty. We're now pushing the car in neutral towards the end of this season. Okay. We've got the kizzy or won't they drama. which is like, okay, so now I don't, I don't care anymore, right? Because it's been three weeks of this, four weeks of it. Don't care. We've got Nathan and Gail. Don't care. Great though. Happy that you're happy. We've got Leah coming to visit Sandy. Again, I'm sorry to be a negative nanny, but, you know, nope, don't care. Hey, babe. Hey, babe. And we've got a night out that is just one of the most anticlimactic things.

Nathan is Max's enemy. I'm worn down by the storylines that are seeing us out of this season. And I think we've gone from Fraser's season of Below Deck being so good, so fun all the way through to this season that seems like it was just trying too hard. And for that I give this episode two pots just because one of Josh's dishes looked like a clown had it exploded, but its dick was on the table or the plate. So that was kind of fun. Wow. Two pots.

Seems kind of low. Well, I didn't hate the season as much as you. I always enjoy below deck. They really have to screw up to make it bad. And get in the comments, let us know. How many pots would you give this season? Like, for example, the last season of sailing, and I do believe that is the last season of sailing.

They should have just thrown that season in the dustbin and never, have released it, but that that is what it is. What's Gary King doing right now? Just drinking and smoking cigarettes? I'm probably doing much of the same that we saw on camera for three seasons. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, housekeeping, a little housekeeping.

We had been wondering, when were we going to see Joe the Ho make out with Kathy? Because that had been teased in a trailer. So old Patty took it upon himself to reach out to Kathy. Now, let me just say this. We corresponded with one another. And I'll say, Kathy is not a fan of me. Oh my God.

That makes me so happy. So, but I did get my answer. Okay. That's not her. In fact, she had directed me to just watch the trailer again because she wanted no part of me.

And I said, when I had said, and I'm paraphrasing, I'm not going to do that because I don't care. She said, fine. That wasn't me. I'm trying to find this correspondence.

Well, oh, okay. Don't read. I don't want to read people's message. No, I'm not going to read it out loud. Okay. All right. Moving on. All right, here's my thoughts in pots.

Here's the thing. Nathan and Kermit thinking that somehow they're the parents of Joe the Ho and Kizzy at the end of this charter season was absolutely ridiculous. At some point as managers or supervisors, you need to draw the line at the beginning of the season. Either you're going to let C Rats hook up or not because most workplaces do have some of those things in their guidelines. Like no hookah, like it's kind of weird, but if you work in a corporate environment, they'll say, no hookups in the workplace. Yeah. Right.

And if you do, that's on you. Don't come back and sue us, right? So when Kizzy and they allow that on this boat and they start mixing it up and it causes some drama, it's going to play out how it's going to play out. The very fact that Kermit and Nate were coming after Joe the Ho,

I thought was really stupid and out of line. Well, he's a unique kind of tormentative fuck boy. I understand that. And I hate the fact that I'm defending Jill the Ho, because I can't stand. Sleeping with people, I don't think anybody has a problem with that.

Nobody had a problem with Max and Kathy. People had a problem with the melodramatic, self-indulgent fucking cat and mouse game that Joe was doing with V because Joe is a POS. We don't like to swear on this podcast. And can I say the correspondence was kind of icy? We're not going to read it all these private messages. But it's like,

I think we've been fairly complimentary to Canada. Here's the thing, Dylan. We do a lot of episodes and we forget what we say. And sometimes there is a C-Rat history segment that for us is something that just we see, we comment on and then we move on. No, what Kathy is well within her rights too. But something may stick in their craw. Sure, sure.

And you know what? That's the risk we run. We've got to be us. Okay. I want to be me. I'm shocked that as many C-Rats like us, we call them C-rats. That's right. Yeah, it's pretty offensive.

So, anyway. Pots. All right, fine. I am going to give this episode 50 knots. All right. Well, let's get to gobble gul, okay? Why don't you just host the show? Sure.

All right, so the show begins with quite the admission from Joe the Ho. And let me be clear with this. Men are pigs. We say gross stuff all the time. And I've heard men say some pretty gross stuff in my lifetime. Yeah, I mean. But I can't wait to smell of a jubes. vagina is a new one even for this podcaster.

Now, on the other end of the spectrum, Dylan, I am a friend of a friend. I'm aware of a girl who loves balls. Uh-huh. And very often, she'll openly admit this in front of like shared company. I love balls. Asha said that she loves balls. Oh, Asia loves balls too. Well, I have another friend name, oh, fuck it.

Her name's Carson. She's a lovely person. Yeah. And I think most people will admit that they find balls more troubling than the death penalty. You know, to each is up. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Now, balls are disgusting. They look like little, little brains or big brains. I'm, you know, not saying anything about mine in particular. My wife finds them disgusting. So that's just kind of the bed that I'm, I sleep in. And she's right.

So what are we doing? What? I'm sorry. Anyway, I just found that pretty peculiar. Oh, it was a peculiar thing to say, you know, when you hear someone, I don't know, like the leader of the president or the leader of the United States, the free world, say, grab them by the pussy. You're like, oh, that's disgusting. But, oh, yeah. Yeah, you know, the thing that I, like, if he was 18, I would have said, you know, that's kind of gross there, Donald. Yeah. The fact that he was a 58-year-old man, that's what I find trouble. Well, and I think, you know, people didn't know this at the time, but if you listened to it again, which why would you? It's kind of the most, uh, uh, uh, kind of the most, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, just disgusting Zabruder film ever, even more disgusting than the one where that guy got his brains blown all over his wife. Well, I think that's debatable. No, it's not. Because if you listen to it back, you can hear him licking McRibsauce off of his fingers. So, no, no, no, God damn it. No, I'm just saying.

All right, let's, let's move on. Now, then this is when Nate tells us that Joe the hoe is kind of responsible for bringing out the Mr. Hyde in him, right? And by the way, Nate, try using that one in court. Don't you have agency as an adult trying to put that on him? And I'm over, Nate. Yeah. I'm over Nate. You can just walk away there, party boy, just like that patch of hair on top of your head walked away from you, you know? You deserve it. Have you tried DMing Nate asking him any questions about this season? Don't blame others for your poopy behavior. The Italians fight over gravy v. sauce. This is a rich story debate between Italian Americans. Yeah. I, I love this because, you know, I grew up with idiots like this.

I feel bad for Kermit because she had to deal with these. I call them sad, the sad, what was the sopranos? Salami people, yeah. Sad pranos. I'm going to call them the dumb pranos. How many times? Both bad. Okay, fine.

How many times can you debate gravy or marinara? I have the answer. If your brain is made of diced tomatoes, I guess the number is infinite. Infinity. Okay. Well, right. All right. So let's just try to be as kind as we can.

Am I going too hard? No, no. No, I don't think so. I was going to say risotto. Yeah. I think risotto. But I thought risotto was too smart. No.

When I thought risotto, I thought better than diced tomatoes. Both mushy. you know, let's try to be kind to these salami people. I would say that there's not an infinite amount of times they can argue about it. But the number is probably somewhere around 112,000 times over a life cycle. They have had this debate many, many times. And it's a fun one, you know, it's a lighthearted one that never, you know, it's not like politics.

You know, nobody's getting shot over this stuff. Unless you're the family members of these people in which you will be shot for really nothing. So anyways, we get a meanwhile. Meanwhile, king crab legs are coming for the, the chuggy one. And we're sexting with Kizzy about her broken toes. This is the least sexy sexting I've ever seen. Max can't give Nathan his best. Because he's defeated.

Nate ruined his charter season. He ruined his life. Max had a plan. He was going to be lead deckhand, and then he was going to be bosun. Irrespective of him being a clinically insane human being, That was the path. And his enemy, Nathan, ruined that path. Ergo, you ruined my life.

And I'm not going to give you my best. In fact, our last talking of the season, I'm going to go rogue and throw ropes really wherever I want. What a way to end the charter season. Yeah. Crazy. Wow. All right.

Oh, by the way, Captain Sandy checks in with her lovely wife, Leah. Hi, babe. Hey, babe. You look so cute, babe. Kizzy WhatsApps a lot. Tells the gang that, you know, when you get a... string of text like fucking eight like okay we got it your toes fractured anyways um one of the guidette says why can't i inject myself there's a fun ball busting moment here uh she says look at your

lips already what the fuck um Nathan calls gale um I don't know are people interested in Nathan and Gail I think so there are a really cute couple and the fact that they had a baby and now we're kind of seeing how it all came together um you know he sees sees himself marrying her you know And do you imagine if Lee was like Vanessa Lechay the amount of fucking Kinsie'd have you? They would try to ring out of this. Wow. No, I was going to say, I think she's gotten her wish.

I think there's like eight of them running around now. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Lots of divorces on that show. Yeah. Right? More than kids.

When Gail and Nate discuss her staying, he's so happy because he learns that she is not only going to stick around, but then they're going to like, global trot to like Ireland. I'm like, pre-kids, I like, I really miss the idea that you can just on a whim make a life choice like this. Oh, fuck it. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun.

Yeah, have children. You know, a lot of fun. Our Aussie listeners out there, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but when I own that tour company, Australians are like the third most people that travel. And I think it might be like after college or whatever or in the middle of college. They literally take a year off, a year off and just travel the world for one year. That's what you should do. Now, many of them resort to alcoholism after that.

You're supposed to kind of get back to work. But, you know, no, I'm kidding. I don't know what goes on in Australia. I love the newsreels, though. You guys have got some really incredible daytime news. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, it's just some of the sweetest stuff.

You've never seen that one where the guy comes out and the store has been a car ran through it? No. Are they like, what happened here? He's like, I don't know. I came outside at 3 o'clock in the morning and my tidy whiteys. This guy's blown through my friend's stall. Gets out of the car.

I go, mate, you're not going anywhere. And it's just like, what is happening in that country? Seems more quaint than here. No. There's some quaint pockets. I watched the news last night. And forgive us. If we didn't do this,

episode would be 23 minutes long. They have the cops showing up and it's like a Korean bakery or something. Mm-hmm. And they're telling the cops there's multiple rounds that had been shot as the guy said. The casualness with which the people that work at the bakery are pointing out the bullets that miss their heads and had implanted themselves in one point in a pot that had flour in it. Right, right. The casualness is terrifying to me.

Yeah, Koreans are pretty sturdy people. You'll remember when Rodney King was almost beat within an inch of his life and the cops got off scot-free, the Koreans armed themselves and protected their storefronts with extreme bravery. I wouldn't do that. I would say you can have the bakery. I'm tired of getting up so early, but not them. They got on their roof with BB guns and whatever else they had. And they were shooting at people they didn't know.

When I worked at that recording studio, the owners, of the recordings, who actually owned the building, so there was value there. Some runner, which is the lowest wrong. Right? Like literally making $4 an hour. They handed him a rifle.

And they said, get on the roof. Here's $500 cash. They paid him up front because you're not going anywhere. And they said, you're staying here for the weekend and there's food downstairs

and you just shoot anybody that tries to break in the door. And he did. You know who had the most fun during the riots? Hunter S. Thompson. He was like, this is what, this is pure bliss for me, actually. This is what I was hoping for. Anyways, because he's back with a fractured foot and the flirting continues.

She falls all over Joe getting back to the boat. I roll. Will you guys? Like, they didn't even have sex. They just kissed and she fell asleep. That's what we have been waiting. Like, that's what we've been doing. for a month on this show?

I, Joe the Hoag got what he deserved. Yes, he did. We're getting ahead of ourselves. He left this season without his best friend and without getting laid. Right. Well, he got laid. Just he didn't get late twice.

Well, with V. Yeah. Right. All right. So Josh tells us in the kitchen, because he's making dinner, right? Oh, I forgot. At some point, Captain Sandy is transformed. back into Captain Timeshare and back into a rental, which is the galley.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. And I would argue with Captain Sandy, when has your presence in that space ever helped anyone? You know, I'm going back through my Rolodex. And that's usually, that's the wrong word. That's a list of contacts. But going back through our history with the show, and I can pretty confidently say it never has one time. Kiko was a victim of this. And while he did serve fish stew 15 times,

Mukeko. Yeah, Mukeko. It was only because he served it 15 times that I have committed it to memory. But when she got in there, things, I think, went awry. He started serving chicken tenders to people. And that's not better than Mukeka.

Yeah, do you remember when the charter guest said, Vegas? So then she went in there and said, you know, just make it all exciting. Make it Vegas. you know, and he served them chicken tenders. There are two different kinds. Yeah, there are two different vaguses, right?

There's Vegas at eight o'clock before you're about to do the things you're about to do. And then there's Vegas at four o'clock where you eat nachos and chicken tenders. Akiko's a young man. That's his Vegas. His Vegas is not, you know, part of the Carbone family, right? Hey, quick break to talk. tell you guys about the most amazing blanket ever created. Lola.

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One time I got a box of chocolates, Dylan, and I ate a chocolate and my face blew up the size of a basketball. Had Brazil nuts. Oh, yeah. Almost killed me. Don't give me that for Valentine's. You want to possibly die or do you want to say, hey, I have an idea. I got you a beautiful blanket.

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Again, that's L-U-M-I-Gummies.com, code bad TV. All right. So, Kizzy, well, let's get to dinner. It's scallops with dried ice and crab with truffle, which, speaking of Vegas, this is Vegas. This is. Smoke and mirrors. Literally smoke. Literally smoke.

And who knows, there might literally be a mirror somewhere. Jose Andres has put a mirror in your steak. And it's a hazard and it's $300. Oh, Josh, where's the cotton candy? Yeah. We've made you a sea urchin cotton candy and it's disgusting. This was a fine meal. It was a placating meal. I'm going to give it 12 pots. And overall, I thought that Josh was, again, you know, people disagreed with my take that it's not the smut that the chef needs to have a roll in. I disagree. I think that Craigs. I think that

crazy and sexy is a good combination for really everyone on this boat. Now, we need some, we need some anchors, right? We can't have everybody being a lunatic, but the chef needs to be at the very least unhinged. We must have it. We must have it. Well, you're going to get your wish with Chef Ben, who is clearly in money troubles,

because why take a step backward back onto this franchise after not being on it for five seasons? I mean, clearly, yeah. Yeah. That's, you know. He, uh, is not only an absolute asshole in the kitchen, uh, don't worry. We're never going to win the hearts of Ben back because we've asked him repeatedly to come on. Oh, yeah.

And he also, uh, likes to bed women in the master cabin. Oh, I'm really excited. So, so we've reached out to Ben. Oh, probably like three or four times. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, he's, he's above us, but clearly, uh, not above having to resort back to being filmed, uh, cooking food for jerks. Okay, got it. So you are really going to take the gloves off.

Oh, Chef Ben? Oh, if he's an idiot, I got to call balls and strikes. I don't care. I love that he's back on here. I haven't really had the opportunity to really go for him like I wanted to. All right. So we get a Dorsey lobster dish. Like I said, it does look like clown entrails. And then there's just this lobster that's strewn across the middle, kind of like a six o'clock of flesh. it's really kind of uncanny and disgusting. But that's what they want, you know? And I'm sure the sauces were well flavored. Yeah, like I said, 12 pots.

Now, Kathy wants to see what happens with Max. Gail is going to be coming out on an evening out. Gail is really not playing hard to get. She's really just doing everything that Nate wants her to do. Yeah, she's into it. Yeah, she's into it. Hey, one little oversight on your part. Joe and Kizzy are hanging out in the galley at some point.

He says he wants to lick some mayonnaise off her asshole. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think so. That was a really bizarre thing that I did skip over. Now, if you're a big fan of patties, you know my feelings on, you know. Buttholes and mayonnaise. Right. Mayo, no whale.

If my wife was into it, that's a maybe. If your wife was into putting mayo on her butthole, it would be a maybe. Yeah. It'd be a maybe. And licking it off. Okay. Jesus Christ. I really don't like mayonnaise.

Yeah. Never have. Yeah. Okay. I won't apologize for that. Well, that's the season, everybody. Nathan Dale have a baby. Hey, all right.

So by the way, these guests... We'll pick it back up. We're excited for the new season. But this season is just... I understand. I understand. I understand. Dylan, did you notice that the charter guests

are still taking pictures of food on their plates? Yeah. To post. Yeah. Well, they're a little, uh, their little satellite bonapeteetit reporters.

I've, oh, sure. Yeah. I've seen less and less of the pictures of food on my Facebook as of the last couple years. It seems like it's trending downward. I think people realize how it depends on the algorithm.

Mm. You think so? Yeah, there's still people out there that are doing it. When my wife and I, and this is a humble brag, went to move, uh,

she kept taking pictures of random paintings. And I said, what are wasting your time? You never going to look at these. I said, let's make our way over to the Mona Lisa. And I said, we need a picture of this. Well, I'll tell you why. This one makes sense.

I'm not going to post that on Facebook. I'm putting a picture of me standing next to the Mona Lisa right on my front wall as gas walk in. And what does that say? It says, I'm well-traveled, and I'm cultured, and I'm awesome. That's what that projects right there. That's what that projects? Let's all be honest with ourselves. Why have a picture of that?

Why are there pictures with you on a Savari Jeep in Africa if you're not trying to sell to promote yourself to people who don't know you entering your home and say I'm fucking awesome? Right, right, right. Okay, so you have a picture of you with, what, 50 Taiwanese people in front of the Mona Lisa? Yeah. And that's supposed to exude glass and close travel. Okay. Yeah, I pushed a couple of them out of the way. Really, there was only eight.

Right, right, right. All right. All right. So Kathy wants to see what happens. I guess rip it up while V breaks down in tears. And again, I am so sorry to have a bug up me all the way. But I love V. We're big fans of V.

Yeah. Get over. Enough. The bond stuff, I get. If you're still, if you're, you're emotionally troubled with, you know, it's a very, very hard thing you went through. But Kizzy and Joe need to, I mean, just, it just stop. talking about it.

Who cares? Now, Dill, when I used to get ghosted after Fling, which was a rarity, I'd always ask myself, what did I do? What's wrong with me that someone would hook up with me or something? And then just ditch me. And then I realized, maybe in some occasions, it wasn't about me. It was about the other person. Mm-mm.

No, no. One time, I found out that the person actually had a boyfriend. and I was just a side piece. Right. You know, and that was because I was dating someone that was living in Arizona and she thought she was playing this little game.

And so what I would tell V is, V, are you upset because you think this is you? This has something to do with you because it's not about you. No. Joe the Ho is a player. He just wanted to have sex with you. He's emotionally immature. Don't let this bum you out.

Why does this bother you so much? I think he's more. than emotionally immature. I think that he's, yeah, I think that he's more. I think it's on display when, when V agrees to, I think the most damning thing

that happened to Joe this season is when, when V agrees that they're just going to be fuck buddies, the twistedness in him can't get off on that. Ah. He needed to turn it into a heartbreak situation. I forgot about that. And that is really fucked out because she was basically able to set boundaries.

Now, who knows how long that would have lasted. Right. But she was not the initiator of the, this is a thing. This is a romance. That was Joe. Wow. And he's a fucking twisted human being. Agreed.

Yeah. Well said. Thank you. Sorry, Joe, if you're listening. I actually don't care. I don't apologize at all. You're a jackass. Go fuck yourself.

Okay. And Kathy, lighten up. All right. So Nathan sees that V is upset. He consoles her. And we have to remember that he's a leader. And what do leaders do? They go to their employees and they tell them

that they're going to slap them in the fucking face if they don't behave the way they want them to. Yeah, because as we know, we have eight hours left. Right. As Kate Chastain,

the Queen of Sea, once told us on a podcast, there's always trouble when you screw the crew. So you get what you do. And Nathan hooked up with Kizzy. So back off. There you go. Next morning.

Next morning. We dock. And as I mentioned, Max does not perform great on this final docking. In fact, takes a choose your own adventure route to the docking. Nate, just drop it. It's the last charter.

Don't hire him again. You're not going to work with him again. You're not going to fire him. He's a lunatic. He's a chaotic mine, a rope spear. Just don't work with him again. I would have loved if he fired him.

But that would have been like six episodes ago. Yeah. So the guest depart and we get to our tip meeting and a kind of recap of how the season's gone. Captain Sandy says, Aisha, every time I work with you, you remind me that you are a light.

That's true. Josh, great job. Dominic dies. Does he? Yes, he dies. He withers away. No, he's still here. Maybe the ghost of Dominic.

You know what, Josh? Sandy was right. You're a great chef. Now you should go work for a five-star restaurant. Well, no one day will want to have sex with you because you're a loser. Okay. Okay. Now, Josh doesn't need what you just did. Josh is sweet guy. Okay. Sweet guy. What I did. Right. That's a fair point. Sorry, Josh. For him. Oh, by the way, this tip when it shows out. It's the worst tip of this season. Well, I thought it would have been funny if they, instead of handing him a tip envelope, they handed a bag and it had a foot in it.

It's amazing that Pat doesn't smoke pot. You know what I thought would be funny if it wasn't money, but it was a foot. Well, they probably would have been happier than that tip. Yeah, well, maybe not. That's a foot. Yeah. You don't laugh out of it. So the salami people do not disappoint.

They are, they tip $16,000. Okay. That is such a shit tip. And they really went out of their way. one, to be cordial to overlook their grating accents and self-tan stains everywhere they went. Like they're a ghost with ectoplasm trails. Okay. They fucking flew in truffles out of season for these tongue blind people and got the king crab

with caviar. All of the chugie fucking bingo card bullshit you guys wanted. And you tip them $16,000. You know what's brown, brown gravy? You people. Okay, fair enough. I hear your point, but I do have a retort to that. Yeah, please. There were guests that left the same tip and took a shit in the shower.

Really? Mm-hmm. 16 grand for the shit in the shower people. Shit in the shower. All those people were awful too. Don't come on these vacations if you can't afford the tip. That's the expensive part of the fucking vacation. It's like crazy.

These people are waiting on you hands. Oh, hey, producers again. I need a summer vacation. If you want Dylan and I and Kaelin and the wives to go on the show, we'll come on. So can we get to the fucking night out, please? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, what happens on this night out? Not a lot.

No, not a lot. Max and Kathy make out. Kermit and Nate catch up. The last night out on a season of Below Deck should not be less than 10 minutes of the episode. Right. That can't happen. At least they've really shortened the goodbyes. That used to be, they'd spend like,

the last 15 minutes, like it was a season of the real world. Yeah. I'm glad they've done away with that. Right. Well, Kizzy and Kathy discuss her sexual tension and not missing in an opportunity, you know, FOMO, like those kids. And then, let's see here. Leah Rice.

All right, last night, couple things. Perhaps producer intervention here, but if I was Patty or I was like a sea rat, might have changed the seating chart a little bit. Joe is sitting directly across from Nate, who wants nothing to do with him. And then poor V is sitting right next to Joe the Ho and Kizzy as they play pocket pinball. And she probably smells, balls from there. I had that. Focus.

Sorry. Yeah. And then Kathy tells Max, it's still a maybe, but she might be in to see him after this. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. And then they head to the club and Kermit tries to chastise Kizzy and Joe. Why? And V get over it.

And then they're in the vans. And then Joe attempts to make out Kizzy and they suck face. I think he eats her face. Yeah, he eats out with Kathy. That was kind of hot. And then they're back on the boat. And Kizzy now realizes this was quite the epiphany. Yeah.

Which I believe the definition of epiphany is a thought from God. Uh-huh. Wow. Yeah. Epiphanies are divine intervention. And it wasn't epiphany because nothing could have gone so badly that you would not have wanted to go further with Joe. You just wanted to kiss Joe and then you wanted to go to sleep.

Well. And, and this is. Like, you know, go ahead. Well, I'll go ahead. Okay. Kizzy now realizes after kissing every person on the boat. She's kissed two people. No, they went through.

She kissed Kathy, Nate, Joe, Max. Oh, she did kiss Max. Yeah. She kissed everybody on the boat. She didn't kiss Josh. He is the only one, I think. Maybe Kermit, too. But everybody, they showed like the screen

of her making out with everybody. She's a kissing bandit. She's kissing bandit. She now realizes after all of that, she might just be in love with Tom. Mm-hmm. And if that isn't the most goddamn Sea Rat thing ever said,

I don't know what to fucking tell you. Sandra, the archivist, if you're still around, can you flag that one? All right, cut to Nate. He promises forever with Gail. Love bombs. Mm-hmm. Love.

Bums. Yeah, never believe a guy when he tells he loves you when he's a, uh, uh, uh, climaxing. You know what I mean? Wait till after. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's kind of, uh, that's a primordial ooze kind of response.

You can't look too much into that. That's not heartfelt. That's, uh, that's from the basement. That's a heaved out. I love you. It's not genuine. It's, uh, it's genuine. way that a rock is genuine. It's just, uh, I love you. You know, it's not, we don't need to do it.

Well, next morning, goodbyes. Goodbyes. There is a truly needless argument between V and Max. I bet we're going to find out, Joe or V and Max? I'm sorry, so, sorry, Joe the whole envy as he offers to carry out her shit. Um, again, it's like we are not a fan of Joe in any way, shape, or form. We are a fan of V. Um, not that you have to worry about losing favor, losing anything, really. Um, it's just, it's just, we're bored with it at this point. It's just, you know, and somebody mentioned on Patreon and I, you know, we notice it, but don't want to like bring it up all the time, but like, I feel like this season was more chopped and screwed than seasons past. Like so much of the Nate and Joe shit, you could tell was like poorly 80 yard.

Like we get a cutaway of them walking to the dock with Nate just like, you know, we're really don't. You know, it's like, just do better. Can I tell you this is where if you're going, if producers are going to kind of put their slimy little fingers on this, do it.

I would have talked Nate into, you got to get rid of Max because that would have really shifted things for the season. Max was truly annoying. Get in the comments. Let us know what you thought. We'll be back in two weeks with... Is it two weeks? I think it fires back up next week.

Is it really? We already got the screener, dude. I've already watched it. Okay. So we'll be back next week with Beludic Dan and. And until then, support the sponsors. We're going to Patreon.com slash another podcast network for traders. And love is blind coming soon.

Hope you guys are having a lovely January. I hope it's not dry. But if you're doing dry, hope you're doing well with it. And yeah, I love you. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Later, guys. Dylan.

Yeah.