Another Below Deck Podcast - Mom Sent Forever 21 | Winter House S3 E10

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

Ruby, Dylan and Pat are back to break down Kory's dad being worried about his son's personal life, apres confessions, mommy sending clothes, Danielle continuing to carry this show in the most embarrassing way imaginable and more from Bravo's Winter House.To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code: (badtv) to get free shipping & 30% off your first order.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

Cory's worried about his personal life. He and dad have a little chat at the top of the slopes. And he says, I can't commit to women because I'm so focused on my business right now. And his dad says, I don't want your personal life falling apart because of your drive. Hey, dad, I don't think his personal life is in any danger.

You're okay, dad, don't think his personal life is in any danger. You're okay, Dad. Don't worry. There's a lot of stuff on TV. Even not all of it's good. And Jim Cracked. A lot of it's bad TV. Hi, hello, and welcome to another Brands Bank new episode of Bad TV. What are we here to talk about gang? Winterhouse. That's the show. These are the hosts.

I'm Dylan, celled up next, one Patrick Kiki. Great to be here. And then joining us from across the country, it's sad. What? It's sad. What? That she's back in. Oh, we love having her. 99 cents slices and halal cards and Trash day

It's Ruby ran Hey tell how are you what are you so dulled up for tonight? I had to go to work today Oh, I'm so I I had to go to work today. Oh my God. I know. I had to look dulled. It was sad.

Well, you look dulled. You look great, Roob's. We have PSAs. You look before you get them. Sorry, on theme. You look on theme. We need to describe for those of you not watching. Dylan is wearing a meanie, which is pretty normal.

And Dylan is also wearing a life vest. Yeah, a life vest. Yeah, the Scandinavians would call it a pofa vest. And listen, I had, we'll get into the PSAs, because I know that's everybody's faith. We're doing it. My favorite part, sorry, what is it called? What is it called? We'll get to the PSAs, which is everybody's favorite part of the show. Okay, but I do have to say first, when I saw Cory in that vest tonight, I was wearing this vest. His was orange though. No, it was gray and he was shirtless. And I thought, you know, I got to take this off because I can't record

winter house in the same vest that Cory was wearing. And then I thought, no, no, don't tread on me. I'll not have anybody with a happy trail going up towards their Adam's apple the wrong way. Induce any kind of wardrobe regret in me. Okay, that's not going to fucking happen. All right, last I checked. This is America. Right. Right. Okay. Hey, looks great on you. Yeah, sure. Let's get to PSAs. Okay, very important one. I haven't discussed this with Ruby yet, but, you know, what the hell? we'll see how it goes. All right, you guys love Ruby Ren Papaya dog girl. We love her too. She doesn't work for free.

If we're gonna ask her to record more shows with us, that's more effort on her part, and we gotta let her be a little bit. She's extremely expensive. So if you want her to join the network almost full time, we're gonna have to get those Patreon numbers up. So if you haven't never join the network almost full time, we're going to have to get those patreon numbers up. So if you haven't ever been a patron, maybe a former patron, but you're in love with Ruby Ren. Go there now, show Dylan and Ruby and I that you want to run the network and

we'll convince her to be on the network. Yeah, the holidays are a perfect time to give us the gift of your hard earned money. Listen, we just need to grow the show, you know, if we grow the show, more things happen, good things happen, papaya dog comes on full time. We haven't talked to her about that, but we'll talk to her about that. That happens, but we'll be putting her to work. She'll be working as much as we are. 30, 40, 50, 60 hours a week and you know, well, it'll be good. It'll be good. Ruby. Yeah. Great enough. Okay. What else is coming up? Okay. So Dylan and I are killing it behind the paywallpatreon.com slash in the podcast network. We are dropping amazing recaps of season two below deck. Med. It's just an incredible season. We're having

a good time yuck it up. Malia is first voyage. Oh yes. The maiden voyage. When we go through that exciting segment tonight, when we kind of walk through her evolution and all of her paperwork that she's been acquiring of late, which was really juicy moment, it all starts on below deck med season two. So join us there.

And last thing, Patreon's perfect for you primed and ready because Vanderpump is coming around the corner. Papaya dog girl is the expert in the lore of that show. She's almost like, you know how people are really into Tolkien. Yes. You know, they know like, I don't know,

the Mayar and stuff, I don't know, the Myar and stuff. I don't know all that stuff. Ruby's like that, but with, it's like you with that nerd shards of glass thing. You're an encyclopedia. Shards of glass. Shard cast. Shard cast.

The books that it's based on. You're an expert in that field. Yeah. The Stormlight Archive. That's what I meant. See, I'm a dummy. You just corrected me. Noive. That's what I met. See? I'm a dummy. You just corrected me.

No, no, no, no, you just didn't know. And I'm going to get you a really good Christmas present, all four volumes of the Stormlight Archive. We're talking way kinks. We're talking words of radiance. We're talking earth, praying we're talking rhythm of war. I can hardly wait. And the next time that you and your two young kids with them, when you have like a 74 hour straight to do nothing,

you can start one of those books. Yeah, that's fine. So hey, listen, let's talk about it. The show. No, I wanted to talk about the Stormlight arc. Oh, sure. No, no, of course, we're gonna talk about the show. Nobody wants to fucking talk about it. I'm fucking,'t know, of course, we're gonna talk about the show. Nobody wants to fucking talk about it.

I'm fucking, you know, tonight's radiant or forming once again to fight the desolation. You know, nobody needs to talk about it. I don't know how I did this, but this latest episode, I somehow wrote 15 pages of notes. That's how passionate I am about this show. It's really fascinating in that it's similar to a black hole and that there's nothing happening, but there is everything happening.

It's a cosmic wonder this show is what I'm saying. It's fascinating. Rube, do you want to hit us with your snowballs first? Honestly, the first half of this episode I was kind of disappointed. I was thinking to myself Everyone's leaving cool People are being yelled at for being a low energy and then We wanted to party and once we wanted to party and everybody did their jobs and took their Adderall and started to do shots and throw clothing everywhere My snowballs went from a melted Jack Frost to like, he was just in a wheelchair, but he could wheel himself. Right. Right. Right.

48. Wow. It really turned out for you. Yeah. And when you say everyone did their Adderall and got ready to party, you just mean Daniel, right? And in order for Jack Frost to wheel himself, you would have to have a kind of 90 degree twig that was found because he can't really, I mean, suspending disbelief can only go so far, you know? Well, yeah, but. So can I go next? Oh, okay.

I feel like you guys have ruined any of my thoughts. I feel like I might have stepped on something. So you know, you go next. No, no, no, no, no, you go next. Okay. I feel like you guys ruined any of my thoughts. I feel like I might have stepped on something. So no, no, no, you go next. No, no, no, no, no, you go next. Okay. Dan Yel. Yeah. I figured it out. Sure. Yeah. Okay. She's playing a different game than these other snow rats. Okay. She's got the game figured out. She's already locked in another season. She's going to be on season four winter house. Why? Yeah. Because she's doing all that business with Alex, who says things like after sleeping with her 20 minutes later. She's the worst. He can sense the jealousy and anger in her and this is usually when they start to lose him. Yeah. So he's a pig. But she's a moron. But I think she knows she's a moron.

And I think she sees the writing on the wall for Amanda and Kyle. No one cares about that Focacca storyline that her tummy hurts and that she might be pregnant. Those two fools are never gonna have a kid with each other. Want to why? Because they can't monetize it. Oh my God.

I thought you were gonna say because she's anorexed. Well, that too. Yeah. Okay, I had no idea Katie Flood was this annoying. Droning over Swartz endlessly throughout the episode is just so, so, so annoying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then let's get back to Danielle and Alex

in this whole thing. Danielle, it's technically her fault at this point because he's shown her who he is, right? She bought the ticket, take the ride. At this point, it's like dating the Golden State Killer and getting mad when he comes home at five in the morning with blood on his face. Or getting mad at him when he ties your hands up and he puts plates on your back. Exactly. That being said, I absolutely love this episode. I think there's only like

two more left and I'm really heartbroken about that. I'm going to give it 90 snowballs. Okay, 90s high. I'm going to say that we need to probably have a tonal change next episode because I can't dig any deeper with Danielle embarrassing herself on not quite a national stage because nobody's watching this television show, but enough people. You know what I mean? Roob's. I was just gonna butt in really quickly. It ends with her crying. So I don't think we're gonna see the channel change

to at least like minute 18. Yeah, a good point. But I am really here for Danielle being just an absolute raccoon human. But we're gonna need to move on next episode. I'm really happy that Sam is gonna come in, get blackout drunk and then fight with a sober Malia, and that's just gonna be nonsense,

and Malia is going to have the high ground that entire time, but what we'll see. Fun episode, I can't think of a more useless cameo than Captain Sandy joining us for three and a half minutes of running time, two and a half minutes of which were spent on the slopes. Right. So that's not going to do anybody any favor. So six pots. We last left off with a man who hates activities, getting blessed in the face with a football. Tom's in of all left to go back to the reckoning and Danielle had it once again. No, Dylan. It was Tom Schwartz. Oh, my bad. I get them confused because I shouldn't. One is, one looks like a

white walker in a cover band and the other one looks like Kind of a sad guy that lives across the street from a Wienerschnitzel, but Pat more importantly what day and time is today March 19th 8.58 8.50 a.m. Now Malia and Katie. Excuse me catch up. And it's our first note worthy conversation Katie tells us Swartz has been checking in quite a bit because he's such a nice guy or she will lookers. And then she lets us know when she's with someone, she falls heavily pretty fast which is also the definition of love addiction. Love addiction also known as pathological love refers to the pattern of behavior characterized by pervasive or excessive interest towards someone. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right, right, right. Well, my thing is, are we gonna do this?

Are you guys gonna try to make it seem like these two we're gonna be something? Not a chance. Don't do that, right? Don't spend any time on that, right? Not a chance. There's not a chance. Roops is your internet connection, okay? Yeah, it's fine. My face just isn't moving a chance. There's not a chance. Roops is your internet connection, okay?

Yeah, it's fine. My face just isn't moving a lot. Oh, okay. I agree with you. And they annoy me. Oh, okay. Did you get Botox today because you're too young to get Botox? I wish I could get Botox, but no, it's the youth Dylan. You can't get Botox because of the MS. Yep. She froze. Hey, Dill, can I do a couple of meanwiles here? Yeah, of course.

All right, so first meanwhile, Alex and Danielle make their bed together and they were slamming each other so hard the night before the bed moved four feet from the wall. Wait, wait, wait, Ruby's back. Why were you so agape? Because I didn't, I wanted to comment. No, you can get the Botox. It's just my dermatologist won't do it so oh what an asshole Find another one to yeah, I

I'm too scared. I don't know yeah Pat I know there's nothing to be scared. There's nothing be scared if I do it every four months now your skin's perfect Okay, you blessed with beautiful genetic. Yeah, but you do it. You get ahead of the get ahead of it Dylan May I continue my meanwhile? Yes, Ruby. with beautiful genetics. Yeah, but you do it, you get ahead of it, get ahead of it, Dylan. May I continue my meanwhile? Yes. Ruby, I'm sorry you missed this, but here's the first meanwhile. Alex and Danielle make the bed,

and they were banging so hard, the bed moved four feet from the bed. Then simultaneously meanwhile, Casey's doing Pilates, and Alex is laying next to her as she works out. I don't know if you guys saw this, this movie called Jumper from 2008. It's where two dudes were jumping from one place

to another, and a year and a half. You know what I was saying? Two dudes being Hayden Christiansen and I think Morgan, no. Lawrence Fishburn? No, well the other kid was the kid in that God out in John Brode Broadway musical about it. It was a famous movie about a kid who liked to dance

in England. God. Oh, Billy Elliot. Yeah, the kid been Billy Yacht. He's the one who played the other person. Interesting. Anyway, that movie, that movie, that technology, whatever they were using, they were doing it because they wanted to steal shit. Alex is doing it because he wants to see new vagina. Right. Well, he's planking next to cases.

Right. Fair enough. He's showing her that he has a strong core while simultaneously flirting. So Jason FaceTime's with Jezel who refers to herself in the third person as Jacelle. She then asks if we're going skiing and I'm very confused about the perspectives that she's speaking in and why they're all wrong groups. Do you have any insight into why Jacelle's losing her mind? It's just what she does. Well, she notes that she's, it's the cost of being misunderstood, Dylan.

And she's hot as hell. And I still think Jason's doing this crossover thing to extend that 15 minutes. What happened to the preacher man? Well, they got back together and I believe he was weirdly not faithful again. Oh, that's weird. Yeah, baby Jesus couldn't keep him in the church and out of those bitches beds. Yeah, you got it. Who is more of a flandering piece of shit?

Preachaman or Mauricio? Or Juan Dixon, what's his name? Yeah, Juan Dixon. I would say like equal bits of kind of shamelessly. Right. Not good. I ran into somebody at a target and she said that she had no place to stay. So I got a hotel room for her.

Is there something wrong with that? And then Robin tells everybody, though, there's nothing wrong with that. He's just really nice. On a reunion. It's on like, I will say, He's just really nice. On a reunion. It's like, I will say, we have to give it to Jizelle, although she did allow him back in her life, and he, I believe, did the same thing.

She does have a pretty good, like, she's a pretty strong ass woman. She's gonna take a lot of shit from people, you know. She has one weakness, Pritchman. So Casey is a serial killer, and take a lot of shit from people. She has one weakness, Pritchman. So Casey is a serial killer and Riley is just gonna chill today for most of the day because she has to get out on the road again and become a newly homeless once again.

She has fit into a rich tapestry of people on the show who arrive and do nothing. Correct. When she was leaving, she said to them, I believe, thanks for letting me stop by. Right. And that was like, that was accurate. I was like, that's exactly what you did.

You didn't do anything. Can I do a little musical chairs with the casting and how Bravo kind of cast this and who'd come in and who'd go and who'd stay the entire time. I think Brian Batman would be a guy that just rolls in. I don't know what kind of car he drives. He looks like a Tesla guy to me. He does look like a Tesla guy, but I got to jump in and disagree with you. I think Brian needs a season-long arc to be fully Batman.

You know what I mean? Interesting. I just, I would have liked to see Riley have stayed longer because I think the fireworks could have happened if she had enough time. Oh yeah, drunk fighting, that kind of thing. Yes. Right.

They're like, Riley, there's too much blood on the ground. Why do you constantly bring in carcasses? We're not going to be able to get the the posit back from the who else do you do you want to see on the show? I think Jason, I think his visit was pointless. We never need to have him back again, especially being in a relationship and a crossover relationship. So, yeah. Let's do this. Let's never have Jason back on this show again. Because Jason is so boring, so nice, so not.

Yeah. Here's another thing. Why pretend like, why do this all? Obviously Bravo had realized, sorry for this wild tangent, that Winter House wasn't doing well on its own, so then they had to infuse a bunch of sea rats in it, right? Fuck the Kiles in Amanda's, call it Sea Rat House. And just have all the sea rats from all the various seasons, just have them come in, come out, have them live with each other.

I don't know, on a party boat for like two weeks. A sea rat house would be so. Sea rat house boat. Yeah, I want it to be at, but then also like when they're out skiing one day, Ramona Singer shows up and she thinks it's just like ultimate girl's trip and that she's invited. Yeah. But she is in and then they'll get back. Yeah. Yeah. And it's so crazy because we can hear you, but you're so frozen. You know what I mean? I don't think the audience

cares. Well, anyway, Riley ends up leaving because you know, she's got to meet up with some more people to shred Nore or something. Oh, no, no, sorry, wrong note. Captain Sandy's gonna be meeting up with us today to shred some noir. Right. And I gotta, forgive me, I got some clips here. That's when Malia shares with us, her history with Captain Sandy, this is what she says, the first one here.

Captain Sandy was the first Captain I ever worked for in the audience and she has guided me and kind of become a mentor in both like my professional and personal life writers. Well, she did that and she also did this. That's why I'm getting it. Everybody instructions they got. I'm starting public, isn't it? Well, yeah, it is public. And you also outed out the entire production crew at Captain Sandy. What do you think, Papaya Dog Girl?

Their history is rich. It's shrouded in several layers of sexuality and some weird, seemingly fake, prideful love for one another because female captains, they're just female captains and we're best friends. And we have to look out for each other. I watched several, several camials they were posted on YouTube. Sandy's definitely on something when she does those. So Corey, with a girlfriend asks Malia if she would fuck him in the Jason mask and then

Riley departs. The timing of this first portion is absolutely insane. She leaves in the afternoon, we wake up the next day. At some point Malia talks to Sandy about if, you know, if she's in the neighborhood stop by, who is in the neighborhood of steamboat sprinks? Well, Sandy establishes that she's a few hours away from there. She actually lives there now. Yeah, she's a few hours away. So that's fine. I mean, she can make the drive to appear on this show, but it's, it's pretty much, I mean, listen,

a couple hour drive is not the same as flying in from Los Angeles, but it's pretty close for two minutes of screen time. You know, I mean, it's just not, you know. This was one of the more, it didn't make sense as far as a cameo. Like what's next, Captain Lee? No, definitely not Captain Lee. You could break a hip. So Batman, Batman traffic's in a little homophobia. Somebody asks, is Sandi a good skier? He says,

of course she is. She's probably really good. Batman, not all powerful lesbians are good at Alpine sports, you know, and I would never say something like that, you know, I don't think that you would either. No, I don't think that papaya dog girl would either, you know, it's just ridiculous. So Malia and Captain Sandy, you know, as we mentioned, they've had a tricky relationship because Sandy outed her as a... Closeted lesbian. A closet lesbian on Cameo. So we have...

She's drunk. We have something called Gaper Day. Yeah, I thought it was Gaper. It's Halloween on the slopes. Is this a holiday or is it something that Danielle came up with while she was blackout drunk? Glad you mentioned that, Dylan, because they are dressed as Bud Light.

Like they're in as Bud Light, like they're in a Bud Light commercial from 1987. And I looked at all the background footage on the slopes. There was no one dressed in Halloween costumes or anything like this. So this is something made up. Yeah. Cory says that he's going to be nude under his. Well, that's what clothing is. Great point. You know, it's like somebody going, you know, I'm just bones under here. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I would, I hope. Right. Yeah. So a girl hit Batman up. They're on their way to the slopes. And Batman says that a girl hit him up on DMs

and said, get off your mom's tits. And that's when we get a little back and forth about Casey and Batman's relationship. I'm not sure when this is gonna happen, but I hope that it does. And Casey says something that encapsulates her lovely kind of her energetic spine. So perfectly, she says,

I, the first step towards any guy that I'm gonna be into is friend-zoning him. The first thing you have to do is friend-zone them. And I'm just like Katie, Eric Casey, you are just such a lovely human being. You like taxidermy and you write papers on mortuaries. And you like being friends with somebody before you fuck them.

You know, it's just it's a good North Star. Yeah, you know, one thing if you don't mind packing up, you know, Brian with those DMs, he says he only occasionally reads the DMs that he gets and let's all be honest. Yeah, he doesn't get a lot of them. He reads them all. Oh Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, over and over again. Okay. So we meet Sandy and Leah. We've talked about it, but I have no words for this cameo. It seems like Sandy has arrived for a patriotic catch-up

about Malia's paperwork. I mean, that's what it is, you know. I mean, and we find- She's gonna be a captain soon. We find out that Sandy has been face pushing her partner's requests for marriage for the past, like, half-dackers. I have thoughts on Leah.

I've only seen her because we follow her on Instagram. Is Leah prominently featured in any other Bravo things with Sandy? I know she goes to Bravo Con. She just looks like she could be a real housewife. Oh, yeah. No, she's not, but she does look like she could be a real housewife. I think if there's a real housewives of Denver, I think she's on it. Um, yeah.

Kyle, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. What? Kyle Richards, Addy Tattoo parlor with her lesbian lover or friend. Morgan.

Pretending as though she's not that is one of the most cringe worthy things I've ever seen on housewives. I mean, it was this horrifying. Yeah, I mean, horrifying. And the overbearing sober person that that woman is, And the start to watch and the overbearing sober person that that woman is That whole thing just made me sick to my stomach her going home and showing her husband a new tattoo Oh my god, you look beautiful. That's a new tattoo Right, I'm happy for you. Hopefully hopefully I get to see it. Oh, God, so awkward. She is in a

stage in her marriage where she quite literally can't fake it. She hates him so much. She can't even do the, she can't even talk about his book. She won't, she just was like, she won't read it. No. And I understand that because who wants to read Mauricio's book? What could that possibly be about? Realistic. Realistic. Guys, when you're on the slopes, it can be a little scary. That's right. It can be a little spooky. You look down a mountain. You're like, how do I get down there on these? You know what I mean? You're overwhelmed. You know what it helped?

Yeah, I do. A little microdose thing. Little microdose. Take the stress away with microdose. Pat, how do you incorporate microdose into your life? Well, normally, well lately I've been stressed because I'm not getting a lot of sleep with that second kid. So, I just take a little bit at night, helps me get through the night.

I have a good night's sleep. I got to wake up a couple of times to the night to feed the kid, but other than that, I wake up fresh as a daisy. I'm able to be my optimum productive self all day long. Mm-hmm. And, and, and, ribs, how has my critos been for you? Incredible. Helps me all the time. It helps you with creativity, doesn't it? Mm-hmm. Everyday.

It helps me so much when I'm on the roads and I'm driving and people are bad. I don't take microtos because it's not safe to take microtos while you're driving. And that's not something that we or our sponsor would advocate. So that was just an example of me telling you what not to do. But once you get home from like stressful drivings and stuff, you could just take a little chewy and you can just completely decompress. Well, that guy that cuts you off

that you gave the middle finger to, you take a microtose and all that anxiety and anger just washes away. It reminds you that life is about so much more than that. And if you want to be illuminated, like we are, listen to this, microdose is available nationwide to learn more about microdosing THG and microdose.com and use promo code BAD-TV to get free shipping in 30% off your first order. Links are found in the show description. But again, that's microdose.com and code BAD-TV.

Now, Del, if you don't mind, I want to explain how the breakdown of the different groups are broken up here. Yeah. Because they always do that. There's a purpose to this. Okay. Now, if you don't mind, I want to explain how the breakdown of the different groups are broken up here. Yeah. Because they always do that. There's a purpose to this. Okay. So group one, they're going to shred NAR. Okay. Sandy's going to be in there.

Right. She's going to shred NAR. The second group, they're going to go on the kitty slope designed for children and people that are handicapped or something. The third group is Danielle Amanda Jordan and Alex, and they're going to set up the party area. Right. Right. Right.

Now, Alex and Danielle have a little chat about work and what's going to happen after winter house. And Rubs, go ahead and break down the question that she asks him. And it's okay. You don't need to bury anymore. It's okay. We're safe. But go ahead and break down what she asks him

in this little circle. Well, I believe that you're referring to after Alex says, I don't really have a job or anything. Right, yeah. And then she says, well, you could always come to where I live, which is a really cool city and Brooklyn and you could do that to which his response was that. Yeah. Well, he asked if she could no longer make direct eye contact with him. I believe is what he said. Uh huh. And well, he told us that it's a big red flag. So he's checking out of

this, uh, this little intanguid. And listen, I know that he's been a little pigish or a lot pigish. A lot pigish. But I mean, can you blame him? Well, two things can be true at once. He keeps getting lured into that bedroom, okay? So that's kind of on Danielle. She's bringing him in there.

Then he spends the waking hours trying to have sex with other people. Now, this is where this conversation was where I took the turn where I'm like, well, Danielle, now this is on you. But prior to that, there was a movie called, that piranha, I think, like 10 years ago, funny scene in the movie, like a vagina somehow. Piranha ended up in a girl's vagina or something like that. And it ate a guy's dick off at this.

Yeah, yeah, it's a real funny scene. Anyway, at this moment, I wish Danielle had a fish in her coach, because I hated Alex. But after this, now I'm starting to not like him, but understand where he's coming from. 100% because another thing I just want to say really quickly, two things, I guess. One, I guess I wish Danielle were a little bit more passive-aggressive.

If you were hugging up with someone in a house, and they weren't actively seeking you out at the end of the night to go to bed, I would go in my room, close the door, lock it and say, fuck you, I'm going to bed. And then I was progressively look at my phone and hope that they like texted and called me

the entire time. That. And then also, I lost my thought. You're right. What happens when you have an alcohol problem? And she might not have an alcohol problem. And she might not have an alcohol problem. And we should, you know, in one hand say that Danielle is unwell and losing it and binge drinking.

And in the other, we should say that she's saving the show. A hundred percent. She is the, I mean, she's kind of the Gandalf of the show. I mean, she's corralling everybody together and leading them to certain death. Much to her folly too, I got to appreciate that. Someone that will step on all the, you know, all the shovels. Ah, yeah.

She also did this during summer house, which gave us one of our jokes, which is she'll tell everybody that will listen that Carl and Lindsey didn't tell her. They were getting engaged. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was at least a five or six episode arc of that storyline.

Yeah, it was really, really beautiful stuff from her. And I think that she's gonna go into recovery and I think that her and Carl are gonna get married. So they all sit down with Sandy and Leah and somebody asks if you've ever been friend-zoned, Malia throws a little shot at Cory says, what's it like? And I would like the dunking if it didn't have a flirtatious thing to it. Malia can say, Cory is my brother, I don't want anything to do with him.

And she can wrestle him to the ground in front of Sam and stuff. But I think that she is inappropriately doing that. In that, it's deceitful. And I think that she is open to it more than she lets on. Oh, yes. Oh, well, I can tell you confidently, I would never spit in your mouth or tackle you to the ground and straddle you in front of your significant other in a flirtatious manner ever, and you are my brother.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now, this little question, an answer segment with Sandy, did you get to Katie talking about Swartz yet? No. Well, Katie says she tells Sandy anybody who listen. She meant someone, someone special, and she's hoping not to be friend-zoned.

To that, I say a great man named Benjamin Franklin stated, there's only three certain, certainties in life, Dylan. Do you know what those are? Death taxes and me. And sports definitely will friend-zone Katie in life, Dylan. Do you know what those are? Death taxes and me. And sports definitely will friend zone Katie. Oh, oh, can you believe the pre cognition of that man? He's flying a kite up there trying to get a little execute and he's predicting future. He's just stealing inventions from people and owning slaves. And predicting Vanderpump rules and below deck crossovers brilliant.

Yeah, that's a complicated man. Yeah, and John Adams is like, I don't know what you're talking about, but I feel like it's not high stakes enough. We're trying. He was like, hey, John, shut the fuck up. It will be. You know, Swartz is friends owning Katie. So we end with Kyle saying,

hopefully I sell our beverage company and we will charter a boat Pat any thoughts on that not happening that will never happen That company is probably a million dollars in the hole It's piss it's chemicals it kills people Quite you know what honestly it's probably made it so that he is unable to have children. That's how much it's poisoned his body. Oh, God forbid. God forbid.

Oh yeah. We need a little, another little leprechaun with a mullet running around pissing every moment. Listen, I hope that Amanda and him do have children. I think that they will be ready at some point. But 33 and 42 looking down the barrel at what they're going to be looking down Later with the lack of preparedness that they have coming over them is sad to see big time Yeah, and that was a long way to say that but we'll talk about it more in a bit one last note Sandy's parting words are to tell us the group

Don't get friend zone to which Alex says under his breath. I wish I could get friend-zoned. Yeah, put that piranha in your vage girlfriend Jason Jason leaves goodbye goodbye Why no point why night time night tide tacos and a tire now we've had a lot of themes. That's one of the worst I believe the theme was Yeah, taco night and everyone's going to look hot. Kyle says I'm going to get in the shower while there's still hot water. That's sad. And then, oh, yeah, we get it. Amanda's got sickness. She's totally, I mean, miss me with the bullshit, bro. She might be pregnant. Rosie O'Donnell being into Tom Cruise

was more believable than this. 100%. So there is no love here, evidently. Ryan says there's no love. But Katie corrects him. She says that we're a family. You are not. Hey, don't lay on.

Mm-hmm. Speaking of family, Corey's family is coming into town. His father is a pilot, which makes the most sense in the world because I could own to like a cardboard box factory or something too. I could see that kind of occupation. Oh no, because what is the profession with the most adultery? Airplane pilots. Yep. Firemen too. Oh, weird. How? How? They get two days on two days off. Yeah, but then you go on to the wife. That's what my wife said. She had a friend that was married to a fireman, and he cheated on her. Those are the kinds of sample sizes that we need to form opinions about.

Yeah, I looked it up. I did a bit on it. Cops, cheat on their wives. That's what I know. Or those spouses, yeah. Preaches. But I think the firemen are fucking each other in those houses. Yeah, chilly and anal sex.

OK, so the reason I say this is because I want to shit on Cory's family so badly because they've spawned something that is truly disgusting. But sadly, I thought they were fine. There are delights. I think that Cory's dad probably cheated on his mom out less times, which is where Cory gets his flandering kind of. That's a good point.

Ethos Ram. But the mom seemed like a complete kind of empty nested crazed woman whose identity is way too tied up in her children. But that's other than I mean they're just completely fine people. You know what I mean? But we'll get to them later. I keep getting ahead of myself. First, we have to talk about how Schwartz calls and everybody screams. Oh, the legend. But then the legend called Swartzy. He coming back. Yeah, wow the legend. Amanda is going to go and change into her comfy's. She said that I think she's been here for what three episodes and she said that 16 times. Yeah, along with I can't eat this my stomach hurts and I'm going to bed. So Amanda, just shut up.

When the envelope arrives, you know, from Bravo, it's got the paycheck in there. Does she stare at that and think she earned it? I don't know. I'm sure she does. Daniel heads into Alex's room where he's blacked out and trying to sleep. And this was, you know, later on when she'll, you know, she can't really stand all that well and she is having a Frankenstein juggle hide kind of meltdown.

That'll be the peak embarrassment, but this is really get me more than one shovel because I need to try to dig with two hands right, Rubes. She says, why are you punishing yourself? At least sleep in the made up bed or the made bed. And then she leads him into her bedroom and says, you can't go to sleep without a kiss. I mean, I'm, there's no point in digging any further.

We just have to start trying to bury ourselves alive. We have to have the dirt cover us. Here's the thing, just too much. If this is just the hook up thing, and she just likes having sex with him, then go for it. But during the day, when he's trying to bang Jordan, shut up.

Right. Right. 100%, 100%. And that's not what this is, which is why, when she sees a photo of Jordan in the face mask, she literally turns over and says, it gives me anxiety. It gives me anxiety.

So let's get to Amanda taking a pregnancy test. Hey, when you go on vacation to do a little shredding of the NAR, really, do you bring a pregnancy test with you? Randomly? Every time. Yeah, so do I She says I want to take a pregnancy test just to rule it out and Kyle says really

Yeah Really because what is she is pregnant right? It's probably best I know that we're a little precious with With childbirth nowadays, you know people used to drink whiskey and do heroin and smoke and stuff but with childbirth nowadays, you know, people used to drink whiskey and do heroin and smoke and stuff. But it's probably not the best idea to continue binge drinking. Right. Right. Right. So, yeah, Kyle, let's rule it out so that she doesn't keep binge drinking. Right. Right. Really? You're going to take a pregnancy test? Like I mentioned, the fact that he is 41 years old has no idea how the thing works is very overwhelmed and confused by the entire thing. And the fact that she's 33 and is saying, I am nowhere near, listen, everybody goes there on pace, but I mean,

Peter pan is, it's just insane that these two are in this state in their lives. I, I, I often dislike a lot of people on these shows. I really, and I've said this before, I understand why Kyle needs to be there, but him and Amanda as a team going to these things, I dislike her immensely. She's really annoying. She brings nothing here except a downer. People are spitting in each other's mouths. People are fighting over like, hey, why are you trying to fuck that girl? You fucked me last night.

This is a party show. Right. Don't bring this. This is a whole other. We don't need your upset tummy. Exactly. No, and in fact, you should stay home because of set upset tummy.

Just stay home, it'll be less upset there. I promise you. It'd be like the movie Old School and then one of the characters got cancer. It's like, this doesn't belong here. Right, right, right. Right, yeah. You should be at chemo.

This isn't okay. Yeah. You should be a chemo. I mean, if it's that bad, it depends on what kind of cancer it is, I suppose. Next morning, we wake Daniel says she has anxiety, seeing Alex have fun the night before, and that's sad. Right, that's just nothing but sad.

My hands are shovels now, that's awful. I can't even, I don't know what it is. My hands are metal shovel now. That's tough. I can't even, I don't know why I can't do it. My hands are metal shovels. Yeah. It's crazy. So this is, God damn it. The whole pregnancy thing happens. Kyle says that he, this is a first for a vacation of his and that this could kick off a

series of events That would make them have to grow up. Yeah, yeah, but They're not pregnant so but maybe they'll try it again and when they do they're gonna use an app Those apps are no those apps are they are helpful So there's a side of him that wanted this and I thought it was really cute But he says that it would be serendipitous or synergistic. I don't remember which word he used, but either one has no real bearing on this situation in any way, sure, perform him. Not sure why this would be serendipitous or synergistic. They're just at Winterhouse, been drinking love of boy and pissing everywhere.

I mean, he's pissing everywhere. Yeah, everywhere. He is. And I'm just pissing everywhere. By the way, are we at the part where... The mom. Cory is... The mom. Are we at the part where Cory's shoveling the deck, you know, because he's trying to prepare the patio for Brian and...

What's the mom's name? What's her name? Cory's mom. Cory's mom. Cory's mom. Cory's mom. Cory's mom. Cory's mom. Cory's mom. Okay. Cory's mom.

Tracey. Anyway, he's trying to make the place look good, but also he takes a big issue with the vibes right now. Yeah. Because of a little low energy for his family. Yeah, yeah, right. And he's going to need everybody to step up. And he hopes he can set the tone.

The new Tony wants is to get weird. The most bizarre thing said this episode was definitely my mom ordered a bunch of stuff from Forever 21 for me. That's the most bizarre thing that was said, right? And we'll talk about that in a second. I hate these people. I really don't like people that are this tethered to their parents at this age. It's just weird to me out.

Come on, my mom got me that. It's so weird to me. But a close second is I want shit to get weird when my parents arrive. What? You know, I've been thinking all morning, that's kind of the tone I want. You know, you guys have been a little low-, low energy, you know, and that's not feeling

good for me, you know, where I'd like it to be. It's more like up here, like get weird vibe, you know. Yeah. And they're nodding, like that's completely making sense. Yeah. That those words coming out of a person's mouth. Yeah. I'm going to throw Casey on the island in the kitchen and pretend to fuck her and spit

in her face. Is that what you're talking about? That's getting weird, man. Yeah, yeah. So Jordan and Alex talk about what they're going to be doing after winter houses over. And Jordan says the most hilarious thing. She's hoping to go to camp. What?

How are you going to camp? Also, brand, like why? Maybe she's going to can, I don't know. It's probably dating a director or something. Daniel is freaking out that they're talking and wants to be quote unquote, invited to this conversation. Daniel, what kind of ask is that? What do you want actually?

Break it down for me step by step when you say invite it into the conversation. Do you want me as Jordan when Alex approaches me to say, oh, sorry, stay in one second. Danielle, please come here. Sorry, I have to invite her into the conversation because that would be insane. We're on the line.

Nothing in common, we aren't friends. Why are you so, it's very weird. I don't know why Jordan and triggers her so much. It's quite strange. It's because she's talking to the person that she's in love with. Yeah. Because Daniel, again, Gandalf, thank you, but also therapy yesterday, yesterday, right? We've got a lot of stuff with dad that we've got to figure out. We've got a lot of stuff with dad. We've got to figure out.

So the parents had over, Markery, Dothalora, hi everybody. She, you know, this is, we've seen this woman time and time again. So she's a drunk, she loves her kids, and she is spiritual. Yeah. Got that nice southern shock. Yeah. Well, plan for the night is never heard of this before. They're going to be night skiing and everyone's required to wear neon so they don't know

and get sunny bonoed. Do you know what that is? Yeah, he died. Well, he was skiing and he had a trade. He had a trade. Little sunny ass, God, when his little kid, he's like, God, how am I gonna die? And God said, well, son, you're gonna slam into a maple tree at 35 miles an hour. Yeah. And Sonny said, cool.

Right. And then he went skiing. And it's like, when God tells you how you're gonna die, try to beat God. You probably, it's futile. I mean, we've heard the story time and time again, but. But he also probably thought it would have been a car. Maybe.

Yeah. God didn't give him the details. Yeah. He never does. He never does. God's very vague. He speaks in broad tones and tones. So does Jordan.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Katie invites the mom to upray with her. And she has crimped hair. I don't know if she saw this. I think Katie has crimped hair right now. That's not that's not good.

It is having fun. I also, similar to Gand, Danielle, thank you for carrying us to the show. Katie, thank you so much for taking the leftovers of the visitors. She went bunny sloping with Sandy's partner. Oh, yeah. Thank you for doing that. And she just, she was like, she's too excited level to operate with the mom. Katie is lovely. Katie really is lovely. Stop talking to short. So Corey's that eats lovely. Katie really is lovely. Stop talking to Schwartz. So Corey's that eats shit. And after he gets up, his ego's a little bruised. So naturally he attacks a young woman who he doesn't know.

He says he makes fun of Malia's six Instagram followers. Actually, it's 680,000. Yeah. And I have like untold amounts more than your son. So sit down, FATSO. Cory's worried about his personal life. He and Dad have a little chat at the top of the slopes. And he says, you know, I can't commit to women

because I'm so focused on my business right now. And his dad says, I don't want your personal life falling apart because of your drive. Hey, dad, I don't think his personal life is in any danger. You're okay, dad, don't worry. I think he's fine. Also, me paying the rent for the two gyms that you own that are very, very much in debt

is not what I consider. Yeah, but he can't say that on camera. Correct. So can I just say night skiing looks like the most fun thing that a human being could do. It just looks so much fun. Danielle. Don't agree. Ask Alex 40 times if he is okay.

And she really won't let off. When Homas and Perry Perry get dropped off because that's the vibe, right? It's a yard house vibe. It's things you've heard of. It's a global themed menu and none of it makes sense. They tell Cory's mom that they all spit in each other's mouth and we move on to a very uncomfortable chat between Danielle and Jordan.

And this goes really well. Danielle, not so successfully, masks her attempt to find out if Jordan is attracted to Alex by accusing her of being low energy and finding her worth and happiness in other men. And bitch, are you for real? Huh? Well, that's what Jordan tells us after.

Oh, that was a good black woman impression. Thank you. Yeah, that was really good. Yeah, 10 out of 10 from Danielle. I mean, no splash. None. Monday, March 20th, 806PM. Alex confides in Cory's mom.

He tells her he wants to die. Yeah. Yeah. yeah. Please, please just take me now. I do think that Alex, you know, all joking inside, he is approaching a James Con kind of desperation in that. He, his ankles are tied to a bedpost. And Danielle has a sledgehammer in her hands, and I wouldn't blame him. I would want to die too

because what happens next is you say I'm too tired to have sex and next thing you know your feet don't work because of all the bones that are broken and you've got to throw a typewriter at her and killer. And your wrists are already broken so it hurts very badly. Yeah, but you know, flight or fight what you'll do a lot of crazy stuff. You'll lift cars up. Everyone leaves. Cory's mom asks about Sam and Cory says they're not official, not Instagram official. But she is his side girl or she is his girl and they are in a gray area. So the mystery of Corey's utility of her as a thing continues. Let's get to Danielle flipping out once again. Oh no, ribs, what are you saying?

I was just going to say, and we can't none of us can answer this question because we don't traffic in this and we haven't been single for a long time. But like, do people do this? Is this how people speak and date other human beings? And you can't answer it in other components. I think a scumbags do. I think scumbags probably. What Corey's done is he's made Sam to be a Ray Flight creature, right? She exists, exists but not really she is there when he needs to protect his ego um when he strikes out with the women and he's she's there to go oh no i can't have sex with you anyways because i have a girl

but she's also there to be a non-committal force to allow him to have sex with people. But when that doesn't happen, he's locked down. There's only two storylines to get you another season on Bravo reality shows. One is you're so in love with Bravo thinks that they can get a wedding out of you. I don't think Cory and Sam are going that route.

No. Or it's just the hook up for a single season that never sees another season. Cory's got his eyes on Winterhouse 4. He ain't going to do this thing with Sam again. Cory's got his eyes on Summerhouse. Yeah. Cory's got his eyes on Summerhouse. So Danielle and Jordan, this bleeds back into the house.

Alex and Jordan are talking about Danielle and he says, Danielle is the worst and they cut it to where you think that she overheard. Yes, it was confusing. There's zero chance she overheard because if she did overhear that, people would be bleeding. And there is no blood. So again, Bravo, miss me with the bullshit.

But you know what time it is though What it's time to party. Oh, yeah, it's time to party people are partying enough. Let's start partying She says that Alex is really chilly tonight and her friendship with Jordan has gotten really weird so Where's Brian's mom's box? She begins ripping up the box of clothes that Brian's mom sent and talking about how everyone is being a fucking bitch. Even Kyle is looking at her like, don't, don't.

This is why, listen. We're seeing her life. Slip by some fucking killer. That guy, he was weirded out. He's saying you're going too far. Yeah. I love a glass of wine. I love a bottle of wine every once in a while, you know.

But this is why alcohol is just so stupid, right? Because this is what it does to people. It makes people really stupid. Especially lover boy The walls are closing in Daniels hearing voices She's losing her god damn mind. Well It's as though she has some kind of chimera like virus in her and the cure is at the bottom of that box of forever 21 clothes She begins ripping everything out and Brian says you're being really rude to my mom.

I can't deal with that. Neither could she. I can't hear a grown man say that. I can't, right? Yeah, it was pretty annoying. It's just so pathetic. Well, minutes later, he requests the Daniel not turn up. Yeah.

And then she says, she's going to talk to him that way, she better come correct and not get it twisted. Okay, well, let's talk about what Daniel says to him. And she's speaking like some kind of, like some kind of, she was a cast member on Bad Girls Club. Right, but also like a riddle on a sarcophagus, but from like 2023. So she says,

never get anything I do twisted ever again, which if you try to understand that you'll fail because it's, I mean, it just makes absolutely no sense. And it's a really unreasonable ask. I was gonna say, the request is very like it reads like a, and like a, the end of a monologue from Kerry Washington when she was playing Olivia Popin's scandal. Like, and don't ever think that you will be able to not do this

ever, not again in your life or mine. But don't get anything I do twisted ever again means don't ever misunderstand anything that I ever do. To which Brian says, I don't know you. And to which she responds, Do you think Alex likes me? Well, first she says, well, you need to come correct and know me. But then she says very quickly.

And that's what being a booze bag will do. You know, on the peaks and troughs or akin to the slopes of steamboat, she goes up and down and up and down and she begins crying and asking if Alex likes her and then turns into Stuart Smiley and begins speaking to herself in the mirror about how she can do anything. And she can including kill them all. We end with a wild swing of emotions. It's just making me it's making me again. I need Danielle helpful. I need Danielle to have a breakfast burrito and just be okay. I guess the question is, I don't think any more guests are coming.

So how are we going to wrap this up? Well, we've got Sam next week. Oh, I forgot about that. Oh yeah, yeah. Sam is going to come in like a battering ram because she is dumb enough to be attracted to Corey in a major, major way. And listen, she's a successful young woman and I understand that she's got a lot of things

going for her, but to really catch feelings for Corey is a sign of something cognitively wrong. More importantly, and we don't know if this is what happens, but I'm judging this off of the preview that we got to catch feelings for Corey. To then come to Lilla when she's straddling her boyfriend, brother, and think that it is her fault that you are in eight months, situation, ship here in. And Lilla saying, I just wouldn't do that.

Yeah. Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. relationship here in I just wouldn't do that Sam Sam And again guys, let's not hit the lover boy so hard alright? Let's work some water in between those cans of pineapple Halapeno, okay, we'll be back next week jump in the iTunes ratings reviews join us to patreon for Vanderpump coming soon another podcast show PMZ lots of fun stuff. We love you guys very much I'm Dylan saying goodbye Pat say goodbye later. It's ribs Bye-bye

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