Another Below Deck Podcast - On the Brim | Summer House S2 E4

Episode Date: May 8, 2025

Ruby, Dylan and Pat are back to break down mints, remote control cars, Legohead, Bingy, Mobland, how Brock's doing and more from Bravo's The Valley. Patreon - Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast

The cultural phenomenon, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, is back with an all new season coming to Hulu May 15th. Where is everyone at? Mom Talk has gotten to a really hostile point. Demi's willing to kick Jessie out of the group. I feel like I'm walking into a lion's den. It's gonna get messy, for sure. Mom Talk is turning on each other left and right.

The police are here. I can't see this going any other way, but a pure bloodbath. This is so toxic. The Secret Lives of Mormon Live, streaming on Hulu May 15th. Looking for reliable IT solutions for your business? At Innovate, we are the IT solutions people for businesses across Ireland.

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now he gets in his underwear. And then he, he closed that incredible this clip. Hold on, let's look at it. Okay. Poopy. Poopy. I can't think. I'm looking for Chapssie, he's falling in my bag. Alright, will you try one of these please? You want me to throw you the whole bag? Is it a special mint? There are these things called, they're called Fisherman's Friend. And I just, I saw, I have a boy crush on Joe Keery you know Joe Keery from

Stranger Things and he stopped pop it in though is he one of the little boys no oh your mic isn't on. Jeez, man. There are these menthol-y, super menthol-y mints. Fisherman's friend. Do they have Asper chain? No, no. They're like super au natural and holistic, I think, pretty much.

Check one. Do you like gum, Pat? No. Did you try it? Did you put it in? I've been licking it. It's right there. Well, you got to put it in to really. I don't like mint.

I don't like it. You don't like it? No, I don't like mint. Okay. Hi. No, we're not done. So. Okay.

No, no, no, no, no. At all. Nowhere it lives. No meal or cocktail. You don't like the flavor anywhere except toothpaste. No, no, no, no, at all. No, nowhere it lives. No meal or cocktail. You don't like the flavor anywhere except toothpaste. Reminds me of a candy cane, which then reminds me and triggers me about Christmas. And I hate both those things.

It's a game of shoots and ladders. OK, sorry, Del, go ahead. My welcome to another brand spanking news. So you're not going to eat the rest of this fisherman's friend. I'm going to let it sit right there. Did you taste it? I tasted it. It tastes like mint. Okay. All right, listen. He was brave to try it. Hi, Ilone. Welcome to another BrandsPanker episode of Bad TV. I'm Dylan. Pat! Great to be here. Ruby. Hi, Jill. Hi, Pat. How are you?

Good to have Ruby back. It's not the same without her. I know. I feel like we haven't spoken to a little poop bag in a while. Hey, what's been going on in the subway system? You've been stabbed at any point this week? No, but can I tell you something? Got on the car this morning.

There's one homeless man. Everyone else is completely empty. Me and a girl my age got on, looked at each. And I said, great, we're getting on together. She got off. I was like, Oh my God. And then I had to get off and then we both missed the fucking train. So not good. Yeah.

You need solidarity in times like that. Listen, we're here to talk about the Valley. The Valley is, you know, as dark as, uh, uh, uh, you know, kind of an outcast, filthy fucking bum on a subway car, ostracizing just random people. You think about the darkness, right? And who knows if this man is cognizant enough to recognize what a repellent he is,

but it's a little bit like in Child of God, there's a necrophiliac, mentally handicapped guy walking down a road and there's a dog chasing after him. And then he feels like he has some kind of friendship with the dog, right? But then the dog leaves and he realizes that he's alone again. It reminds me a little bit of that bum, you know

Two girls get on the car and then they walk away, you know, and and he's left going. Oh my gosh It's because of me. You know what I mean? Did you get high before you came? No, no, I'm actually not high at all Think about how dark that is Mmm, this shows even darker than that. The valley's the darkest thing Bravo's ever done. It's the Valley's the darkest thing Bravo's ever done. It's the darkest thing Bravo's ever done. Yeah. It's pretty bad. In a good way though.

Should we redo all that? Was that all too much? Ask Ruby. No, I do have a question though. What is the Oscar Isaacs movie where there's a very sad cat and it rains all the time? Inside Llewyn Davis. It's it's that dark is that it's also dark and this shows darker than that. Yeah, I know this show is super, super dark.

But this week we go up to Santa Barbara. You know, if I'm talking about stuff like that, you can jump in and help. Oh, sure. You know, if if if you feel as though I'm up river without a paddle. Well, I don't want to interrupt you. Oh, no. You know what I think it is? I think it's cowardice on your part. No, no, no.

I think, I think there's, I think there's an element of cowardice and I think there's also an element of I'm going to let him do this. No, no, no, no. Can I ask you both, can I ask you both something? So tonight I had to go to a work event and somebody who I've worked with for two years introduced themselves to me. And I just, I introduced myself back and I didn't know what to do. That was a moment of true cowardice in which I said, I'm not going to step up here. And I think that may be what Pat is feeling. What would the point really be?

Just let them go, let them cook and then we'll, you know, we'll all eat later. Yeah, we'll all eat later. That triggered a story from my past. As the audience knows, I've had my troubles with alcohol. A number of years ago, before I met my wife, I was at a bar and I saw a pretty little girl across the other end of the bar. I mean, my way over there. And I mean, child. No, no, I mean, a young lady. We're at a bar and I saw a pretty little girl across the other end of the bar and I went over there and I mean child no no I mean a young lady we're at a bar so she was 30 I'm gonna turn the it's go ahead hot in here you know so anyway I am like

wow this girl's hot so we're talking for like five minutes and it occurred to me I dated her for like four months, five years earlier. Her name was Dani. I think she knew the whole time. Anyway. Oh my God. Okay. Let's get into the value. Now, before we start the recap,

there's important business to get to. The rating system. A rating system, as far as this network is concerned, is very crucial to the recap. And it's not every day that a rating system like, I don't know, shoulder taps falls on your lap. Okay? That was gold. That's the rating system for traders.

I mean, there's no other choice but that. And you just know it right when you hear it So we've taken four whole episodes to solidify What is going to be our rating system and there the submissions continue to come in and now there's a full-on revolt in our patreon And I'm troubled by it. So we are gonna resolve this issue. Oh Are you troubled by it? Or is it your favorite fucking thing? Possibly both. Well, anyway, we got a few curveballs thrown at

us this week with some new submissions. Not really. It's been bumps. It's always been well, that's true until possibly now. So the the the front runners have been joint custodies, poor life choices and bums. Yeah. Yeah. But a couple submissions came in late this week. Oh, really? And I think one of them, it just feels like it's, it's it. And you know it when you see it. So let's go with the first one. Submission number one. I believe Brittany at some point was so upset

with something that Jax had done. She said that she was quote, on the brim. How many on the brims do you rate this? I said that just so you can see how it feels. Okay. When you say it. Now this is the one that I think Is going to be our rating system. That's a nice very niche illusion, but it's quite funny

Okay in the lure of Vanderpump rules when you think about it, especially in the later seasons that When the show was becoming unwatchable Something happened where Jax I believed it's something absolutely horrible and Brittany said and I quote rotten. Hail I think the rating system I think our rating system should be rotten hells how many rotten hells do you give it yeah well you know looks like we with these newcomers we've not figured out yet real solid choice because I got to say both of those are good and I'm in flux all over again. Well, that's why we're going to leave it up to Ruby.

Okay. Ruby, is it in fact joint custody's poor life choices, bumps on the brims or rotten hells? Now before you answer, I want to tell you something. Ruby's faculties are a little bit low. She's been hammering nerd clusters, and she's filled with poo gas. Even if she was operating at 100% clip, I still think it's unethical to put all of this on her.

You don't think she's of clear mind and lucid? Well, even if she was clear mind, I mean, she's filled with fucking too. You want to talk about on the brim. She's on the brim with poo gas, right, I mean, she's filled fucking you want to talk about on the brim. She's on the brim with Pugas. Right. I mean, she's been talking to us for about five minutes. She seems like she's got it together. She's hiding it well. But anyway, Ruby, do you have a choice?

If you want to give me 65 percent, I'll throw down. I I really love Bumps because it's just cocaine has ruined so many people's lives. Here's what I'll say. Whoever the fuck noticed on the brim, if you can't see, I've been laughing harder than I've laughed in three weeks because of that. So thank you. Thank you for that. Yeah.

I feel like I'm on a brim. What rotten hell? Rotten hell you did. You did sleep with her rotten hell rot hells. Alright, yeah, I don't think this is going to be resolved today. No, I think it is. It's bumped. No, Pat, we just did resolve. No, we did resolve it.

So this is oh the friends are ganging up on old Patty. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How about you thinking that you were going to get the desired outcome via kicking it to Ruby? And when that didn't happen, you said, I guess we don't know what's worked in the past. What was your desire rotten hails? No, no, we can say it every once in a while. I can accept defeat. I'm gonna say bumps on the protest.

You said defeat weird. That's how flustered you are. You said it like how people say TV instead of TV. I will accept defeat. All right. All right, it's bumps. Bumps. Woo!

I give this episode 75 bumps. Not great. Not bad. I give it four bumps. Four bumps. We had a lot of fun in Santa Barbara. The show's dark. Now, I'm going to give it 16 bumps,

because there was a lot of fun stuff this episode. Lego Head is a confusing one to me because I love to hate him, but I hate that he's on the television screen. I will reflect on that thought in my bumps. Yeah, also too much Lego Head. The fact that we went to a dirt heap with PVC piping strewn all over the place was Pretty incredible. It was disappointing. Oh, yeah I wonder if Jesse planned that or not. Mm-hmm very confusing 25 bumps 25 bumps Ruby. Would you like to go next? No, Pat you go. Okay. Um, I can't believe you don't like these fisherman friends.

Here is my thought. If there were no Michelle and Jesse on the Valley, and I'm talking season one and season two there, well, if they weren't on season one, I don't, excuse me, I don't think there would have been a season two. Thank you for your pan. They are absolutely horrible. I mean, he's worse than her, but they're both horrible. Yeah. And the fact that they were that second divorce happening in that first season, which was just six episodes if my memory serves. Yeah.

There wouldn't be no season two. They are still carrying this franchise on their backs. I do agree that Jesse is worse than Michelle, but Is he worse than Michelle or is Michelle just losing right now? Yes. You think he's, yeah, yeah, he's worse. I think so too. I think so too. But Michelle's, I don't know that we have seen the full picture, the full power of Michelle's

evil. I'm rooting for the day when she can regain the high ground Anakin, but she definitely doesn't have it right now. He's making her life a living hell. Yes he is. And that Aaron character, her new boyfriend, he ain't gonna be around long. No. He likes the cameras too much. I don't think he's there for the right reasons. Long head, big eyes, rotten hell. Jesse not wearing a shirt, minus two rotten hells for that. I'm sorry, plumps. But Lego head, Lego head, the token gay guy, the token gay guy friend.

He's very annoying. He's getting way too much camera time. I don't care about his storyline. He's nice. Maybe he's not even nice. He's a nasty little guy. No, he's a nasty little guy. Uh, I would prefer to see more of Jasmine's life and her lovely girlfriend.

All right. So I'm going to give it, wine is really bad in Santa Barbara. So that was a miss for me as well. I'm going to give it 12 bumps, 12 bumps. All right, Robes, take us home. Okay. This wasn't a good episode. Yeah, I agree. It was really, I hate Benji.

I hate Zach. I don't like the storyline. I only want Jasmine and her girlfriend, if we have a couple, that if you're gonna try to do this to us. Jasmine, interesting. I love it. I think she's funny.

I don't know why I don't like Zach so much. He cries, I don't care. This was 88% Zach. I didn't appreciate that. I thought that when they showed up to the PVC and they thought that they were gonna get in real cars, that was very fun. But really sad stuff,, Kristin, so sad.

DARK! You know, I don't want to feel actually bad. What I do love that's very dark. This is what I love that's very dark. I love to watch Jesse undress with his tiny little nipples. And I don't mean physically. I mean, I mean, keep doing what you're doing. And also, did you guys think his underwear was out of control? Who wears that kind of underwear? I think they were bunched up briefs. You're gonna be happy to know this week,

Michelle did a podcast and she talked about how Jesse's actually broke. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. One last note before we start. How many bumps did you give it? The cultural phenomenon, the secret lives of Mormon wives is back with an all new season coming to Hulu May 15th.

Where is everyone at? Mom Talk has gotten to a really hostile point. Demi's willing to kick Jessie out of the group. I feel like I'm walking into a lion's den. It's going to messy, for sure. Mom talk is turning on each other left and right. The police are here! I can't see this going any other way but a pure bloodbath.

This is so toxic. The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, streaming on Hulu May 15th. I will give it... 58 bumps. What the hell? Fifty... Okay. I'd forgotten it 58 bumps. Rot in hell! 58. Okay. I'd forgotten about this note.

Janet, she shouldn't have showed up to this trip because she looked like she had food poisoning. Two rotten hills deductions for that. You're talking about a bit of pastiness? There was something going on there. She did not look well. I couldn't stop looking at her. I was like, what is wrong with her?

Clammy kind of clammy. She should have gone to an emergency room. Yeah. Well, let's give it. If you were there, would, would you have said, said, Oh, no, just, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, sorry, Johnny. You have taken over the emergency room. You look unwell. Yeah. You look peaked. You would have said that. Yeah. You look wrong with you. People have said that to me And they were right. I was

Going through some stuff. What are you going through? Well one time I overdosed at a club in Las Vegas and a girl said to me You don't look well, and I said no, I'm fine and the next thing I know I'm laying on the ground with like a few Emergency workers. Yeah, what'd you overdose on? Well, I learned later was horse tranquilizers. Okay, cool. So we start the episode with Jessie asking little Isabella which shoes he should pack for the weekend.

She picks out one of the most disgusting pairs of loafers I've ever seen in my entire life and it's no fault of her own. You know, she's a little child. They have a lot of colors. It's his fault because he bought them. He's the kind of man that buys those shoes, which is a really weird kind of man. You know, like there's, there's all these things out there that people make, shirts, shoes, stuff like that. And you're like, what kind of fucking weirdo buys that and puts it on Jesse? Well, we've seen that a lot in the brief Bravo universe. I mean, those guys on summer house this season, the

shoes they're wearing, Carl was walking around like he's a goddamn leprechaun with those stupid green shoes. I've seen Jesse wear some ridiculous stuff. Yeah, yeah, they're more like hot boy summer stuff. And Jesse's more like, I don't know. Like, like, like criminal jeweler garb. You know what I mean? Ooh, like a little uncut gem. Yeah, he's a little uncut gem.

So we cut to Saltz Cure. This show really highlights the local merchants and artisans of Studio City. I mean, better than most. Yeah, we bounce around LA, lad. Now this is where Aaron asks his The girl he's in love with Michelle Yeah She has any reservations sleeping at an Airbnb with a guy who recently spread around to her entire friend group that she was a reasonably

Priced prostitute. Yeah, he asks her what's the worst that could possibly happen and She does have reservations, but she's still gonna go. It's amazing. Like I don't think that Michelle would say the worst that could happen is some reeky healer comes over and tells us to build a mandala in the middle of a circle of us. And Jessie and I will begin to weep.

I don't think she could have seen that in her mind's eye, but yeah, ultimately that was the worst thing that happened. Can I tell you, big mistake on producers here, why not have Aaron go up there and make him drive in the car with Jesse? Okay. Make Aaron drive Jesse to Jesse's trip. That's right. That would have been fun. They might've found a common ground. I mean, listen, you know, I want to really drive these people. You know what I mean? Like, I don't, wrong word. You know, I want this to be a little Abu gravy. You know what I mean? Like love is blind was great when they were abusing the the contestants and they should do the same thing

Here, you know You don't show really went downhill when they stopped abusing them. Yeah, I mean you don't really do anything for money So why don't you let's make it work? You know what I mean? Alright, so we get to the tipsy cow Kristen Lego head are talking. He's talking about Janet again This guy is I'm gonna sound a little harsh here When you think of somebody who's like pathetic I Know it's not like it's an intense word. Yeah. Yeah, but his run on this show is pathetic I Yeah, yeah. But his run on this show is pathetic.

I mean, it really, really is. I mean, for the three of us to watch this show separately and all walk in here with the same thought about that particular person. Yeah. Ruby, are you frozen? She's like, she's looking away. No, no, no, no, I'm not, Dylan. I'm not frozen, Dylan. Someone has died. I thought that I was actually fucking hallucinating. It's, it's 10 o'clock PM and someone jackhammering. And I was like, there's no way that that's actually jackhammers. No, no, it is. And now I'm so,

no, what I am is so full of rage. I'm wondering, do I go 15 floors downstairs to, to them and say absolutely not. Oh, do you hear it? No, no, what you do is if you can see them, if that's not the view here, then I really don't know. Ruby, Ruby, you want to pay a little payback. Open up your window, look down on them and take a piss on their head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ruby, do you have a wall unit you can throw down on them? It's going to cover it.

OK. Well, I don't know how this is going to affect the recording, but listen, pop in where you can. We should fully support you if you need to walk down the stairs and have a conversation. Carry a weapon. No, I can't hear it. Yeah. If you're going to go down there, take a butter knife with you. Okay. Something. Okay. Sure. Yeah. Something threatening. So, um, we all gather for the trip at Janet's house. Jackson's not going to make it because he is actually in a rehabilitation facility because he's addicted to coke. He's bipolar. Yeah. He's either there or

held up at a hotel in Burbank, which is probably more likely. Uh, Lego, Lego had Nia. Yeah. Go ahead. Robs. They did the after, he was on the after show and he was like, legally in the state of California, they cannot take your phone. And then immediately it cuts to Jason, who's a lawyer and was like, the legality of his phone, it has nothing to do with this. If you want to get better at a rehabilitation center,

you can say to them, I would like you to take my phone if you think that's better for me and then take your phone. So, and I was like, oh, look how easy that was, you lying scumbag. me and then take your phone. So, and I was like, oh, look how easy that was. You lying scumbag. Well, we'll get to, we'll get to it later. Take the phone. How do, how do rehab facilities not like take the phone?

Well, if you get 5150, as I had a very dear friend have that happen to him, uh, they do take your phone and you do go in the rubber room for your own safety. Really? Yes. Well, 5150 is different than like love and schneef, you know what I mean? True. Yeah, he admitted himself. What do you have to do to that for TB? Oh, you can other people admit you? Yeah, oh yeah, 51 there's a whole, you know, gambit of things that you could do. My buddy tried to get off Xanax without any medical assistance for two days. So we went through withdrawals and thought

Jennifer Anderson was talking to him through the TV. So he hid under his bed for a day. And then his brother and family showed up and locked him up. So that's a very specific one. But if you're threatening suicidal, stuff like that, there's a lot of stuff. I mean, let's say, for example, you get up on a balcony and you really think that you're Kate Winslet,

and you're like, I'm flying. Yeah, I mean, you're going to the rubber room. I mean, you need some help. You have to, it's for your own safety. Yeah, okay. So, Lego Head Nia, Danny, and the Chokey are going to be one in one car. at Danny and the Chokey are going to be one in one car. I believe the Chokey Jasmine brought Benji on a stick. The way this move...

Can I? No, no. I have to say something. So here's what I have to say. Benji is short for Benjamin, I believe. Benji is what a Netflix series is. Bingey is what people refer to at when like muck bangers. Okay. Bingey that would be Zach and I are done now if I'm Bingey because Bingey isn't my name, you know, and it's every what he calls him Bingey the whole time, I couldn't hear it. And now, now you two will hear it. Speaking of Bingey, now you two will hear it. Speaking of Benji

ribs, you watching Mobland? Mobland is incredible. And anyone who values down to be, I mean, you don't have a choice. You're like, why is my, why am I looking at my phone right now? Mobland's on Benji. I'm going to be checking that out this weekend. A listener, a well-informed listener, corrected Dylan. I had said or asked, is it a show about the Irish mob? Dylan mocked me and said, no, it takes place in England. It is about the Irish mob in England.

OK, whoa, you are such a catty little bitch today. I did not mock you. I just was incorrect about it. I didn't mock you. I just was incorrect about it. I didn't mock you. I just, they- Maybe it felt that way. Yeah, of course. They talk like this.

They say Archie, Richie, Freddie. So I thought that they were, you know what? I think that patron's wrong. Are they Irish, Ruby? Yeah, I believe that they're Irish. They're Irish. Yeah, totally. Yeah, they're Irish, Irish mob. They're Irish. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

They're Irish, Irish mob regardless. So thank you for the suggestion. Let's talk about Benji real quick. The way that this Benji on a stick makes this car move the affect that this Benji has. So, Hey, I got a question. Why'd you bring that? I knew we, there was trouble in River City when someone had taken time to create that popsicle stick thing. I don't give a flying fuck about your love life, Lego head. Right. Lego head, we don't care about you.

Why would we care about Binge? I think that's where I was at. And this guy is looming large over this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No thanks. Okay, can I also like walk, really like walk yourself through it. Who in this show has a fucking who has a color printer to print out his face?

Oh, great question. Great question. You know what I mean? It's like somebody had it's like the assistants on Housewives of Atlanta that had to go pick out the pictures of or print out the pictures of brain sucking dick or breeze sucking. Yeah, you usually go the effort is horrific. And it honestly, can I say when all these divorces are done, it worries me. We can't do this. Can I tell you, I just got a poster of Bill de Blasio eating a Shake Shack burger. Because he was telling everybody, you'd get a free

Shake Shack burger if you got the vaccine. And I was like, this is this is amazing. You could just get a poster and literally anything. I mean, it's amazing. I got a poster of my wife and I holding our dear baby. Yeah. After about three weeks of her being on the planet earth. I gifted my wife this, uh, I think it was 24 inches by 18 inches. Yeah. Big, big poster. In a frame. Yeah. And... The cultural phenomenon,

the secret lives of Mormon wives is back with an all new season coming to Hulu May 15th. Where is everyone at? Mom Talk has gotten to a really hostile point. Demi's willing to kick Jessie out of the group. I feel like I'm walking into a lion's den. It's gonna get messy, for sure. Mom Talk is turning on each other left and right.

The police are here. I can't see this going any other way but a pure bloodbath. This is so toxic. The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, streaming on Hulu May 15. She asked me to put it in the closet. Yeah. Well, I'm with Sheree.

It's not as cute as build the Blasio with a Shake Shack, but, you know, I'd hang it. Yeah, well I'm with Cherie, it's not as cute as build the Blasio with a Shake Shack, but you know, I'd hang it. Pat is like Sheena Shay in her first apartment when she had a massive four feet prince of her and Shay in the apartment. That's what that was Pat. And Cherie, because she has taste said, thank you so much in the garage, this will live. Yes, no, that's what me and Cece have pictures of us, massive photos, gray, black and white, just to remind us

that we're here in this apartment and this is where we are and we're in love. Really nuts stuff from Sheena Shay and what's his name? Brock. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, oh, oh, Shay. Shay, Sheena Shay, Shay. You have to see how fat Brock is getting. They were at Del Mar. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, know, we, we wish them all the best, right? That's yeah. Yeah. Sure. All right. All right. So Jason, Kristen, Luke are in the other car with Jesse, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. No, this is the best part of the whole episode. Yeah. Yeah. They're discussing Michelle and Jesse asked the question I don't know what her problem is yeah yeah well for starters you told

everyone she knows she's a reasonably priced prostitute yeah I'm trying to think of a good comparison I don't know what your fucking problem is. Well, do you have time? All right, so I love that these two are on a trip together. Like I know that we want to put Jesse in a car with Aaron eyes, but the fact that Jesse and Michelle are going to an Airbnb together, I mean, it's amazing television. It really it's dark, but it's amazing TV. So the Airbnb is insane, probably cost 10 grand a night.

You be shocked. I've looked at Santa Barbara before the real estate in Santa Barbara is so sparse, sparse. Yeah. So they really drive the home prices up when you go on Verba. Well, no, no. Let's clarify. It's not sparse. It isn't sparse, right? It's sparse or sparse, yeah. So it's like one of those. Dylan, do you remember we did that event up in Solvang, that gigantic mansion that you stayed

for at like three hours That thing was only like 2,800 a day and there was like remember there was like eight people staying there. Do you remember? Yeah That was comparable to this place Yeah, but this is Santa Barbara. I get a Santa Barbara We don't know that though. It could not it. It might be in Goleta. Yeah, yeah. That's true. Yeah, it might be in fucking Goleta. That's a dump.

That's where I had my bachelor party. Well, I mean, it's not a dump. It's just a place. It's more of a truck stop. Well, let's put it this way. There are Little Caesars there. You know? Amazing breadsticks. Get an extra dipping sauce.

You are good to go. Those breadsticks. How about the marinara? That Pat thank you. That's the dipping sauce I'm referring to. Thank you, it's incredible. I get two of them. Sorry, I did get high.

Were you listening to what she said? Yeah, no thank you. But did you hear that we said the same thing? Cause he feels like unmoved. Did you? Yeah, I did get high. Were you listening to what she said? Yeah. No thank you though, but did you hear that we said the same thing? Because he feels like unmoved by it. Did you hear what she said? They don't just have marinara sauces there.

They have a ranch. So I wasn't sure what sauce she was referring to. How many sauces do they have? They have some weird butter thing too. Who? You know, it's sad. Is there probably so many people that are dipping those breadsticks in other dipping sauces that aren't in there?

And not a pop, not a little, not a little Caesar's. And I'm not saying that wherever there's a little Caesar's it's a, well, I mean, I am saying that kind of Los Angeles is a dump. We have lots of little Caesar's. Yeah. Let me tell you something in Goli. You know that Gliet is a dump when you can't even get strippers to show up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's tough. That's tough because they're

really industrious people. They'll travel far and wide, but not to Goleta because it's a fucking dump. Anyways, everyone arrives. Jesse tries to give everyone white flags. He tells Michelle that she needs one more than anybody and she refuses that flag. Danny's or Jesse's really feeling himself. He looks at Danny and he goes, take that black off. Why did he say that? Hey, calm down in a winter. What's wrong with you? Is this when he announced that he's already two bottles of Prosecco in?

Yeah. He's an alcoholic. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. And I love that Prosecco is his choice of booze. Yeah. He's in that 30 guy chat though. Bros only. Guys, you have no fucking idea. I got shit face fucking blacked out shit faced off for so let's look at it. Okay, so cool guy Melissa gets there protect that but Melissa because Danny might smack it. You know, he likes to tip him back and what he does he smacks ass. Well, if you saw the trailer for next week's episode, he has a triumphant return that is short-lived. Yes, yes.

Because he gets blackout drunk. Pun intended. Yes. The cultural phenomenon, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, is back with an all new season coming to Hulu May 15. Where is everyone at? Mom Talk has gotten to a really hostile point. Demi's willing to kick Jessie out of the group.

I feel like I'm walking into a lion's den. It's going to get messy, for sure. Mom talk is turning on each other left and right. The police are here. I can't see this going any other way but a pure bloodbath. This is so toxic. The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives streaming on Hulu May 15th. Oh, I would like us to call him daddy when he's drunk.

Okay, completely fine They're going racing today. Danny has some experience with racing. He was in a film called Superfest Now I heard this and you know, Pat, of course my fingers start to happen away. I have to give the guy credit So I did research on this. It actually was a film released in movie theaters. Now he was not the lead, which he alleged. He's like five people down on the film, but he was in fact in it. It was a $20 million budget, but didn't land well with the critics.

Los Angeles Time commented on this review, while fans can appreciate all the winks and nudges to the film is a wreck for the uninitiated. Brian Ornoff gave the film a score of two out of ten calling it a brain dead endeavor with Helmers returning to their comfort zone of head bonks and fart noises even throwing in two incidents where characters are struck out of the blue by a speeding car. Perhaps Friedrich and Seltzer are vaudeville enthusiasts. Yeah, yeah.

Not funny, stupid, and it was never funny. You know, there's too much cynicism in the film critic community, you know? I mean, you would see some of these reviews for just beloved films like Tommy Boy and Saving Silverman and stuff like that. That's a good point. And yeah, it does harken back to vaudevillian absurdity,

but you know what? That's hilarious Sometimes the fact that two people get hit by speeding cars out of nowhere sounds Yeah, no that sounds hilarious, okay, so they head to the course and the course is a It's a pit of dirt with PVC piping strewn throughout the place. It looked a little small at first glance and I was very confused what kind of vehicles they were going to be racing.

It turns out they're going to be racing remote control cars. I have to ask. That was a bummer. Yeah. I wonder how much it costs to do this. Better be free. Very lame. This was Jesse got the sponsor from Ferrari or Pirelli, whoever the fuck he was wearing.

And then he was like, I just want to wear the jumpsuit and they'll pay for everything. Can we go? Can we go? Can we please, please, please go? And then they were like, yeah, for sure. He had no idea that it was actually remote control cars until they got there. But I think that this would be so incredible if Jax Taylor was here, completely coked out,

getting enraged at his little car flipping over. Like, could you guys imagine how fun that would have been? I didn't even think of it, Ruby. Well, you know what? I did appreciate the screenshots of him rage texting, though. I know, but. Me too. But that's dark.

If he was here, shneaked out of his mind, god, that would be amazing. He would get into a legitimate fight, an iceberg fight, right? Top 10% is about the cars, but it would spiral deep into something else. It would be hilarious. Now we're going to have plenty of cocaine Jacks at the rest of the season. Okay. So, um, uh, speaking of Jacks, can you call me? I just got out of therapy and I had a breakthrough. Uh, a text to and this reminded me a little bit of your

neighbor coming up to you check it out on a PS patreon.com session on the podcast network and telling you hey, you're there's somebody across the street who thinks you don't make your money doing this. It's an odd thing that Kristen did. Amazing story go to patreon.com slash podcast network. Kristen does this kind of gross thing where she goes, I got a text, I can't show it to you, you shouldn't see it. But you know, I mean, that's cave of wonders kind of stuff.

I mean, you gotta go, you gotta see it, you know what I mean? One could assume what's in that text though. Yeah. So I think this is when Brittany, while watching that car race, announces that TMZ just dropped the news that Jax is in a mental facility. Yeah. And is this a rehab or a mental facility?

We keep toggling back and forth. They can't get their stories straight. I think it's a rehab. Or a hotel in Burbank. Regardless, she asks everybody to go radio silent with Jax. We don't want to trigger him anymore. You know? And then we learned that Jesse had told Jax

that they're all up in Santa Barbara, which is hilarious because if you're following the timeline of all this, when would he have been able to do that in person? Not really sure. Jesse's a big Jax advocate. They talk every day, you guys. Jesse is his, I mean, if he could be, Jesse would go bail him out of rehab as his sponsor and bring him to Santa Barbara to drink Prosecco with them, but he can't. Yeah, I feel like Jesse would probably bring Jax up there, get drunk on Prosecco, and when people like had cause for concern, he would have said something along the lines of I don't know what your problem is you know I think what happened was Jax probably had that phone call with that robot who

told him that it was gonna be $30,000 at non-refundable and he was like you know what fuck this I'm gonna just go stay at the Safari Inn for a couple of days and pretend he loves it there yeah he loves the Safari Inn for a couple of days. And pretend that- He loves it there. Yeah, he loves the Safari Inn. It's right across the street from Baskin Robbins, I think. I think that's where the singer of Warrant drank himself to early death.

Really sad story. LA has a lot of weird hotels. The Safari Inn is one of those weird hotels. It's like a tiki. It's got a- Here's how you get in films in Hollywood. Make a really funny eye-catching shot. Safari has that. What were you gonna say, Ruby? Also, Pat, the circus liquor has that good point. Yeah. I just watched Clueless with my daughter. She loved it.

Yeah. And that circus liquor is, is you do not want to go there. It's on violent and victory. That's a terrifying location. You could die. I love that you are educating your child and that your child has good enough taste to understand that. Yes, she should like it. It's a classic.

I mean, you get out, you get out to circus liquor and you'll see a shopping cart chained to a lamppost and it's a classic. I mean you get you get out to Circus Liquor you'll see a shopping cart chained to a lamppost and it's completely empty. See a lot more as well. By the way my lovely Ellie she loved to bring it on as well. I'm showing her all the classics. Oh my god great taste Ellie. Yeah great taste. So when are you guys gonna get to the witch? Oh it's it's on the docket. OK, minutes later, Jesse's ex now ex-girlfriend, the Orange County Realtor, is the topic of conversation. Yeah. And to remind the audience, that is the girlfriend that had sex

with a guy who was on Baywatch, a show that ended its run in. 1998. Yeah, it's really bizarre that Jesse is defending. He's defending a woman who has cheated on him numerous times and why are you doing that? And also how come they keep cheating on you? Yeah. I don't think he delivers in the bedroom. Yeah I think he might be found wanting in the bedroom because people keep cheating on you man. That means you're not good in the sack. Now Janet of all people apparently blocked her because we've

learned that Miss Orange County, the girl according to Sheena, that banged guy on Baywatch is very litigious. And she says she's gross, but not as gross as the girl that Jack is dating who has been posting on Instagram that she eats ass. Yeah, and that's a very generous thing to do. I have a buddy who's kind of a germaphobe, but he's an ass eater. Yeah.

That's no, that's not quite a skit. They're in conflict with one another. Yes. Yes. He used to show up here during COVID on Sunday football and he'd wear the mask the entire time. He's one of these guys. He drink in between, uh, he pulled the mask down in between sips. Oh, cool. Like then we go out to a bar like a month later and I'm like, hey, what happened with you and that girl? He's like, I ate her ass.

I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta be, you gotta be. Yeah, in terms of particulates that I'm scared of, fecal is probably up there towards the top. The fear of getting tipped over in a porta potty is something I would, I would kill myself. I mean you could die. I would. We should see that in the movie. How has that not been a scene in a

frat movie? It's been. It has? Oh yeah. Well I mean Jackass has done it. Oh there you go. Yeah that's about right. Do you remember the portaa Potty slinky or sling shot? Oh, is that Jackass? Yeah, they had two massive cranes on a bungee cord and they tie they attached it to a Porta Potty and then Stephen, Steve-O got in it and they shot it up in the air and then it came back down and just he was covered covered. Let me tell you something. That's an IP that ain't going away. away I mean you want to talk about getting back to vaudevillian absurdity I mean Jackass is the pinnacle of that I mean it's just the purest

expression of pain and joy coupled together in one just lovely viewing experience but you skipped over a little bit okay so we race Luke breaks down So we race. Luke breaks down the heats, the rules, the regulations, like anybody gives a shit. And Zach is standing out in the middle of the track kicking cars. We get to the final heat. When Jesse intervenes, he takes Luke's car off of the track. And Danny wins.

And Zach is still talking to that little Benji stick. It is really, really crazy. The more important question is, why are cameras still pointing at him? Yeah, yeah, great question. So yes, everyone tells, or Brittany tells everybody to lock it down. And yeah, we fight with the Baywatch lady

who keeps talking about how she's, well, haven't sex with the guy from Baywatch, which again 2020 with the rock and Efron or 1989. So what are we doing? It's it's David Hasselhoff, Dylan. That's who she means. No who's dying right now by the way. Oh, I the cultural phenomenon. The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is back with an all new season coming to Hulu May 15th. Where is everyone at? Mom Talk has gotten to a really hostile point.

Demi's willing to kick Jessie out of the group. I feel like I'm walking into a lion's den. It's gonna get messy, for sure. Mom Talk is turning on each other left and right. The police are here. I can't see this going any other way, but a pure bloodbath. The police are here. I can't see this going any other way but a pure blood bath. This is so toxic. The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives streaming on Hulu May 15th.

Oh I'm so sorry I didn't know that. If you if you told me to make a bet David Hasselhoff dead or alive what do you think? And I got big stakes I'd go dead every time all the way all the way. I mean, I for sure thought that he had died. I thought he choked on that cheeseburger on that bathtub. Probably shut up. He's still around. Okay. And David, we we hope you are we wish you well. That's what we'll say. We in the entire nation of Germany. The, Jesse going over to Janet and like Janet kind of gently quieting him down, like he was a child when she was like, what did she say that was a lie? And he was like, she said that she slept with multiple people.

True. And he was, she was like, who did I tell? He was like, you told a lot of people. She was like, who? He was like, Jason. She was like, oh, my husband. I was like, you told a lot of people. She was like, who? He was like, Jason. She was like, oh, my husband? I don't think that's people, right?

And then he said, don't start, you don't want to fight this way with me or something. I was like, Jesse, I think she does. Yeah, I think you're on the ground bleeding right now. Janet had a good episode tonight. She really did. If she, she didn't look well, but yes, she did. Well, still standing.

All right, so Janet and Zach get to their little chat back at the house, IPA first. And I don't like Janet, but I do agree with her that it's big of her to even talk to this human being. One, he's not a relevant character on the show. And two, he didn't care that your pregnancy came to term Well, I want to say this I also don't like someone that uses a defense of I blacked out when I said something horrible and not only

Not only absolving himself of guilt by blacking up but also Implying that the things that he says are not of his ownership. They come from somewhere completely outside of him. They do not originate in his heart and soul. Well, the drunk Lego head says what the drunk Lego head feels. Thank you. The drunk Lego head says what the sober Lego head feels. That's right. Great start from Zach. He goes, you did a lot of horrible things. I did a lot of horrible things, but you did horrible things too. Okay. I thought we were good. This is what's so pathetic about Zach. Everything. But in this moment we get a little... No, no. You're done. It's everything. I kid.

In this moment, we see like the full rainbow of like pathetic, exact stuff. Okay. So he says, he is a real, he gets very, very fixated on small fry stuff. Okay. So Janet did not invite him to big bear. Oh, that hurt. And that hurt. And we eventually get to a point in this conversation where Leggohead is so flustered that he must call Nia over, not for any mediation, but to hold his hand. And she did. Is this, and I mean this earnestly, is this cocaine? Yeah. Okay.

It's comfort, it's his pacifier. He's a big old baby. He's a big old baby. So he says the things I said I own, I don't even know what that means. And then yeah, the main thing that we get out of this is very, very upset with Brittany. He has a nasty little baby. I mean, just a nasty little baby. So, um, yeah, he, he just has lots of platitudes that don't make any sense. Friends do things that are out of pocket.

Not really, really though. Not really. They don't like, like that's not true though. Well, thank God the conversation ends when Janet tells Legohead that they don't need to be best friends, but for the sake of this annoying storyline, they need to move on. Yes. Thank you, Janet. A spiritual healer heads over. Her name is Willa. Oh, I love that name. What is with this group? And you love the name Willow.

Willow. OK. But it's a little bit like Benji and Benji. Do you like Willow or Willow? Well, I like them both. You do? Mm-hmm. OK, OK.

I like Willow. OK. I don't know what this group, this, we see a lot of spiritual healing on these shows. Um, you remember all that trouble I got into when I was making funny for, uh, the pills you were going to take? Uh huh. Let's bypass all of this stuff and let's go there straight to to an SSR. For these people, 100%. What are we doing making mandalas? Yeah. Willa, I am sure you are magical.

These people are too far gone, Willa. They cannot be saved. So let them go. And that's OK, Willa. That's OK. Kristin is off on her ovulation. Very sad. Very, very sad.

But she's pregnant now, right? Yep. OK. She's due in June. Good. You guys might be in the same hospital. Oh, wow. That would be so wild if I rolled past the room.

And I was just like, I just want to tell you, thank you for all the years of you being a disaster. And also, I'm so happy for you. I'd probably just say I'm so happy for you. Because the first part, you don't need this. She's, you know. You know what? If she had already given birth to the baby, I think she might appreciate the first part.

She might give you a chuckle, you know? Okay, yeah. So Jesse and Jason and Danny have a little boy sesh and they ask, how are you and Michelle doing? And he says, not good. She didn't even take the white flag. And then we get to Brittany and Zach. Now, Zach is in tears.

Yeah. It's this weird thing where, like, I don't want to sound like an asshole, but he's still a guy, right? Like I know he's gay, but like you're still like, yeah. Okay. I'm with you. It feels, it feels very like cocaine, Adderalli with alcohol, like every emotions are just really high right now.

And none of these conversations are going quite the way that he wants them to. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's tough, but he is basically very, very upset that Brittany mentioned the awful things he dropped a dime on when he was blacked out because when he said those things, he was blacked out and he didn't mean them and they didn't come from him. Um, all right, so we get to dinner. Um, Brittany used a lot of butter on, uh. And then we get to the ceremonialist. Brittany just wants a big joint as opposed to all this stuff. And I'm kind of with her on that.

She doesn't do well with this kind of thing. You'll remember we went to that woman's house across the street from Circus Liquor to have a meditation session with her and Jax. Yeah, that didn't take. No. Did not take. But speaking of Jax, this is one of those moments

where I wish Jax was here. Yeah. He would have helped out. The ceremony begins, Dylan. If you don't mind, I'll do the honors. Yeah. Brittany wants her sparkle back. Michelle wants Jesse to die.

Yeah. Jason wants to be cooler. And Nia doesn't want to live in Santa Clarita. Yeah, so Mandala do everything you can to activate those wants and those desires. Also, what does she call it when Jason is like, also, I just want to, Will it invites them to say something and he's like, there's a person who's not here today. And he co parents with Brittany. I just want and Brittany's like, Oh, thank you so much, Jason. I don't want to say anything. I don't want to ball crap. And I it was just another it's just Brittany so Brittany and it was so beautiful. And it made me so sad that she does have to co-parent with that monster.

Yeah, I know. Brittany's, Brittany's Brittany. But she's a she's a really good, sweet person. What the hell is she doing with that guy? You know, does she does she hammer pork chops and beans until they're not really pork chops or beans a hundred percent Did she you know pick Jack's? You know and all that stuff crazy that stuff's crazy, but she's a sweet person Yes, you know and speaking of the person that she chose we get a video library

kind of Little face time from Jack. Here's what a sucker I am. If I didn't know what a sociopath this motherfucker was, I might think he was getting better. No. No, Pat. If the Valley is your season one and two, is your introduction to this man, you do think that he is. If you've not known him on Vanderpump Rules for the 13 years that we have, and you haven't seen this 36 times before, you would believe it.

He's really good now. He's in his fucking 40s. Yeah. That's a great point. No, he's not a sweet person. He is sick. So, Danny needs to leave. He's gonna do a job.

He's got voiceover work. He's gonna do a job in the morning he'll be back though. But we wrap up this gratitude circle with a gratitude ball. What could go wrong? Jesse gets it he says he's in the middle of a very toxic situation right now and then he hands it over to Michelle. Now the one rule from Willa, she's not a big rules and regulations gal you know she's a pretty free spirit. But she said, or no, somebody said don't hand it to your partner. And I mean, I guess on a technicality, it's not. But, you know, he is mean to Michelle. He hands it to Michelle and says, why don't you go next?

And then says to Lego head, don't fucking roll your eyes at hers like you did mine. Oh yeah. And Zach says, I'm not gonna roll my eyes at hers like you did mine oh yeah and Zach says I'm not gonna roll my eyes at hers I was rolling my eyes at you and he was like no that's what I said he's like yeah well I rolled my eyes when you were talking and he's like yeah don't do it when she's talking and he's like I'm not going to I did it when you were talking and it's like now he gets in his underwear you know and then he he closed that incredible fucking destruction of Zach by saying I will bury that guy off this cliff oh hold on let's look at okay he's on the rim he's on the brim he's on the brim. Michelle gets the ball and we

roll a beautiful package of their love and really crystallize why the show isn't good for any one person on it. Tiny Nipples ends the episode in his odd underwear screaming at Jason and the world. Guys iTunes ratings and reviews five stars kind words. Reviews have been pouring in, we really, really appreciate it. I want to read one really quickly. Ruby, we had a lunatic leave a review that they're mad that we combined our feeds. Yeah, okay.

So this is a good one from Tonio Hangman. Rube, four stars. Stinky, twinkles, wrinkles. Now what's that in reference to what do we, what do we do with that? Right? It's four stars, not happy about that. And it's the, the scratchings of a mad man named toenail hang man. You know, I mean, it's just crazy. Yeah. I'm happy about the internet, but I'm also not happy about it. Yeah. I'm happy about the internet, but I'm also not happy about it.

Yeah. If anything happens to any of us and the police ask any of anyone ever listening to this, look at him first. Do that. I thought the same thing. I think we need some SCI people to analyze that. There's a message in there. And it's not good for us. And I actually thought that it

was fairly harmless and now I'm unbelievably scared. Yeah. Worry five stars kind words. Help us find him and go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. Let us know your favorite things. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye later dudes Ruby. Bye bye. On the street Inside your head On every beat And the beat's so loud