Another Below Deck Podcast - On the Way Down | Below Deck S12 E5

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

Dylan and Pat are BACK in studio to break down hit songs, skiing, beacons, shrimp, Olivia Newton John sadly being dead and more from Bravo's Below Deck.Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetwork LumiGummies.com Code BADTV PET PAINTINGS! https://www.averilburner.com/

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K'Wall's biggest crime is getting home, not going in the jacuzzi, and instead playing an acoustic guitar. As though he is some kind of fucking Ryan Cabrera? I'm sorry. On the way down, I saw you and I want you off the fucking shelf, okay? My god. Hi, hello and welcome to another Brand Spang into episode of another Bullheader podcast aka bad TV. This is bad TV. I'm Dylan. That's Pat.

Back in the studio. Back in the studio. My, what nice chairs you have. Kalen's dad bought them. Oh, thank you. Kalen's dad, Michael Bean, the Terminator. No, he wasn't the Terminator. I'll be back. No. So listen five stars kind words we got a one star brutal one star review that I wanted to discuss. Oh no. But before we do that we have had what do you say many tidings

what is that people say tidings what's tidings? People say tidings. What's tidings? I have no idea. You don't know? OK. Yule tidings, like Christmas time? Tidings? Good tidings for you. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

Oh, god. I do. I got to tell you. I mean, we have our phones. We could look it up. No, let's not. I feel so good to be back in here looking at your goofy face.

You know what I'm talking about? Handsome face, but you're a total goofball you know Patrick and I sorry to go ahead Dylan don't let me interrupt you okay so Patrick and I were discussing the birth of Lucy and how she is about a seven out of 10 on the difficulty scale. And Patrick said that, you know, 10 out of 10 on the difficulty scale would be like if you were born with that ahead, okay? And we had a discussion about that.

If you wanna hear that discussion about that, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. Lots of fun baby stuff. Lots of fun, just a bunch of stuff. And don't worry, the podcast isn't gonna turn into My Two Dads, which is a great name for a show, by the way. This week, because I'm on the other end of it,

I'm dealing with parents now, okay? You're just dealing with a crying infant. I gotta deal and navigate through all the difficult relationships of people you go to birthday parties. You're like, do I get to know this guy? Our kids could switch schools in two months and I'll never talk to him again. Why am I even wasting my time? So we got a good, I got a good story for the next APS. We're hosting swim lessons every Sunday here and people aren't behaving themselves.

Do the kids try to drown each other? Well they don't go in the pool together, they go with a swim teacher. She's a piece of work, I'll tell you that. Oh yeah, real bitch huh? Oh yeah yeah yeah. She's one of those old kind of principal trenchable kind of ladies? She's crunchy, she's rough around the edges, she's grown on me, I'll admit that. Did she smoke?

I bet she did probably after her third or fourth marriage because she seems like one of those Yeah, but anyway, she gets under a lot of the parents skin and we have this parent I can't wait to share this story who the husband overheard me talking about the swim lessons at some function Anyway, he got himself here. He lingers all day with his goddamn kid You're supposed to come do your swim lesson socialize for about 30 minutes and get the fuck out of here Yeah, yeah, yeah, not only does he do the lingering and socializing he made the mistake on Sunday of mentioning that his son it was his birthday party the coming week and There was no invite for Elliot and boy did that piss my wife off. What there's there's a lot of politics Okay. All right. All right. We're gonna get into the whole thing. That is

Bananas you're gonna linger at my house and not invite my daughter to your son's, I don't even wanna go to your son's birthday. That's what my wife said. I don't even like you. She said that. Are you my wife? Okay, so listen, patreon.com,

slash another podcast network. The one star review has to do with the amount of ads we have in the show, which like I'm always like, what kind of psycho lives a one star review? But that is actually a very helpful one. If there are too many have in the show, which I'm always like, what kind of psycho lives in a one star review? But that is actually a very helpful one. If there are too many ads in the show, these distribution platforms, they're like,

so I don't know how many. Why don't you start, kick it off. Let's kick it off. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't wanna dignify it. I don't wanna dignify it. I'm gonna be obsessing over this review the entire show. And I don't wanna do that.

I wanna get it out of the way. It's like hearing bad news first. All right, Well, I will say would you be done with that? These people they screw with this podcast Jesus Christ, man All right. We'll get into below deck in a second. This has not been great so far, but it's our first show back You know, just give us a break. Okay It's from blessed beyond. Very off-putting. Yikes. Okay. So that's about us. All right. So obviously this isn't gonna work out. Yeah. One star. If you enjoy a group of people demeaning police officers doing their jobs, protecting their communities by arresting redneck criminals, drug sellers, and addicts, pigs. This is the podcast for you. That doesn't

that wasn't even others. There's two one store reviews. Oh, that was another 1000. Another one. Sorry. Okay, sorry, sorry. Just end the podcast is from Mike Buff one star this podcast has gone downhill. There are so many ads and commercials for 30 minute podcasts where zero effort was given. Now I will I will concede on the ladder. I will concede that there is zero effort. I will a hundred percent.

But if there are too many ads in the show, I'll take a look at it and we'll, we'll reel back on that because I don't want people to have to listen to seven Pachanga casino and resort ads. You know, um, now, now you have an opportunity to buy one 10 tenth of a Superman comic. It's like now that no one's going to get that. You're just ripping people off. So did you read the ad? He just said wasted time. It's gone downhill too many. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. All right. Well, look, we can get better. But before we do, I have a wonderful company. Yeah, guys, you guys need to take a look at this happens to be a barnacle. Okay, her name is Avril. Okay, so

it's spelled A, V, E, R, I, L, Avril. Okay. And Avril Burner is the company and she does she creates custom one off acrylic pet portraits from photographs. And she sent me one of Jackie. Yeah. And she sent Dylan one of Dot, Precious Dot. Now Dylan hasn't gotten his yet, but trust me. You didn't give her my address, did you? No, no, no, I know you probably wouldn't like that. Okay, great.

But let me tell you something. Because we love our fans, but I just don't want, I don't want people knowing my address. Understood. Because Avril's probably great, but what if she's got some kind of friend who's like a goddamn, I don't know, one of these, one of, Unabomber characters,

you know, everybody's got one. Yeah, there's some crazies out there. You know what I'm talking about? All right, so go to avrilburner.com, okay? Because this is a great gift for yourself or a loved one. Amazing gift. This painting of Dot is so fucking cute. I can't even, my wife is going to cry, literally cry.

Yeah, well, I'll say this about Avril's because I looked at her website, whatever the animal she'll paint it, if you're a weirdo and you have some kind of insect as a pet, she'll use those magical brushes to give you a forever keepsake. So you can always remember your pet Mike the millipede, long after he shriveled up dead in that prison you call the terrarium. Anyway, order, order. Think about a millipede, that's a thousand legs. Think about how disgusting that is. That's who I was talking about not wanting to have my address what kind of fucking fuck up a pet a weirdo but if you are weirdo she'll still paint your weird yeah she's not prejudice no no no so order one today at

Avril burner calm okay what's that saying? We were making fun of the pigs or some shit like that? No clue. No clue. All right. Let's jump into it. It's below deck. It is episode something of this 12th season of the show. Chihuahua is terminated. Oh, by the way, don't don't get us another one star. I can't believe I listened to this podcast and they give away like spoilers right at the top. Hey, idiot, it's called a recap show. Okay, well, I won't put it in the title.

I won't, I do that a lot. I go, I go. KO got KO. You will be missed, Chow, yeah. So I won't do that. And that's a gripe that I think is earned, okay. As well as the low effort, as we've discussed. I mean, but I will say to levy low effort to a podcast,

it's like, well, yeah. Are you kidding me? I've done the last four shows in my underwear. Why do you think people get into podcasting? It's like- We can't make it anywhere else. It's like it's like going up to a gas station attendant being like, you know, there's a there's a little je ne sais quoi missing from this.

It's like, you know, can you like, pop it up a little bit? Like, what are you talking about? Jesus Christ. Okay, so I thought this episode was fine. I thought it was a kind of Early middle of a below deck season. Yeah, you know, it's always good when someone gets fired Or you see the build up to it sure sure sure I definitely am gonna add ten knots to the score We did have C rat fucking. Oh, we did that's that's a kind of like we have to get that Oh, we did that's that's a kind of like we have to get that Diagonal on the bingo card taken care of so got to take that taken care of I can't wait till Kyle has sex with a charter Yes, yeah. Yeah. Yeah

And so like bravo to Kyle and love Island. That was a lot of fun Other than that really hated the episode two pots really oh, I can't wait to go over dinner with you or the lunch or whatever Yeah All whatever. Yeah All right. Yeah decent episode. Daymo is getting lost in the fray I want to shout out to the barnacle that did the side-by-side with Cody from sister wives a lot of people agreed He does in fact look like the doppelganger of Cody from sister wives Daymo. That is okay. He's getting lost He's like useless on the show KO really didn't want to be here Which is sad because I feel like dame Oh aka Cody from sister wives is and did you ever watch big love?

Yeah, yeah Mm-hmm Chloe savo Chloe savo. Mm-hmm. Didn't she play one of his wives? Yeah, Bill Paxton Gone far too soon He's dead. Yeah, he's dead. No No way. Yeah, Bill Paxton. Gone far too soon. He's dead. No, no way. Yeah, that's crazy. I really like to have a slime blob and weird science. He was great in that chat. Olivia Newton johns dead to she's dead. We cover that in the

last PMC James Earl Jones. Yeah, he's dead dead. Solson of Brunei? I don't know. I think probably the first one was pretty much dead. Oh. Yep. Yikes. All right, am I still in my nuts?

Sad, actually, to see him go. Okay, my nuts, my nuts, my nuts. Okay, Rainbow and her descent into madness is kind of fun to watch. Sure, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what's going on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There were three separate scenes where she made attempts to connect with Ole Soleil.

Didn't work out for her. No, no, no. I love Carrie, like, just despite being on camera, losing his shit, calling everybody idiots. Oh, you fucking idiot. Now, it turns out that it's's actually you can do irreparable damage to children's social skills when you Arm them with machetes and tell them to kill their siblings on Fight Island because when that happens, you know

You really don't know how to Vibe out with other people navigate the world Yeah, so what Dylan's referring to is rainbow and why she can't connect with people or girls. Right, right, right. Well, it's because she killed her sister. She cut her sister in half. One of her sisters she took out with a trident, the other one with a crossbow. And Dylan, it is true.

Yeah. The other one, she set up some elaborate Rube Goldberg booby trap and literally blew her limbs off. Let me tell you something. When you use a bow and arrow and the arrow has fire on it and you watch your sibling's head explode right before your eyes, that would affect most of us. And then the cherry on top, surviving the gauntlet and having your dad pat you on the back after

and say something like, I knew it was gonna be you, like you're always my favorite one. It's like, oh God, everyone god everyone's dead like what are we doing celebrating well you made it yeah mm-hmm fuck man yeah she's messed up yeah all right ten knots yeah so last we left off Chuao was over his head Anthony is trying to was trying to kill people with fish kill gays with fish. And Kyle is slopping up Love Island. So that's where we begin with Kyle saying

that it's been a year since he's felt like this for someone. When did these fucking sea rats? I mean, can you really, you're getting tricked into the novelty of this? I mean, what are you, Kyle, you know what? I, after having a daughter, I don't freaking judge anybody anymore. I don't, I don't judge anybody anymore. I do a lot of judgment. So what you're referring to Dylan is the scene where Olay and Kyle, they're sitting on the front of the boat and they're reflecting on that beautiful

night of making love, right? And, oh no, they hadn't yet, no sorry, that's right. No, that's why he throws out there to her. He's like, yeah, that kiss was pretty good, but you know, could have been a little better. And I think that young man was referring to having sex. Totally, totally. Or at the very least peeing in his butt or something. No, no, no.

And can I ask that we retire that you want to retire that just because of the Kind of no no love is love and if you want to get kinky with somebody Let's say you want to fold somebody over the other way, you know Kind of like a fucking contortionist you want to have your way with their I don't know feet or whatever go ahead But we don't need to be, you know, vile about it. And actually, in reflecting on what I proposed there, Olay Soleil peeing in his butt, I think that breaks many of logistically, it's a nightmare. many of Newton's laws of gravity.

Yeah, it's a little bit like Trump saying, grab them by the pussy. It's like, it's locker room talk, but it's also just weird. Like how would that work? You know? Okay. Well, if anybody can pull it off, it's these two. Yeah, totally, totally. Yeah, these two lovebirds, these two crazy lovebirds. I haven't felt like this in a year. All right.

Get out of here. So, hey, Kyle, get out of here. The prize for their shit tip from the stingy gaze is a half day off So we hit brunch now Rainbow has a tough time with women because of the the Hunger Games as we've Discussed having to wield machetes and kill your sisters Yeah, Dylan if I may yes because I think you may have glossed over it, but it was very important for old Patty Okay, Frazier makes it clear that he did not cheat on his boyfriend. Yes, that was made clear by Frasier. Because he kissed a straight man. Yeah. Now

I'd love to pull this logic off. Now get ready here people. Okay, okay, okay. I make out with a super hot girl, but she's a lesbian. Try explaining that to your wife. I don't think it works. And also, Daymo's not a straight guy.. Deimos fluid. He's fluid. Okay. He's fluid. So, um. I think we just need to just call this generation of kids fluid.

Like do we need gay, let, we're fluid. That means I'm open for anything. Hey, look at that toilet paper roll over there. He's hot. I was gonna say, look at that. You got a German Shepherd with hip dysplasia? Who am I to judge? Toss it in me. Just be careful, cause I know that you're a little rick hip dysplasia who am I to judge toss it in me

just be careful because I know that you're a little rickety down there you know what I mean tell you what you go on your back I mean what the fuck are these kids getting into but no judgment okay absolutely not all right so Brazil is the best city in the world for tourism chow says uh I don't know I've heard there's a lot of surly stuff going on down in Brazil. I think you can get shivved or something. I think there's some other countries that are worse. I believe he was explaining the horrors of a constitutional republic. What are you talking about? Brazil's political system.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, Dill, you were skipping over so much. No wonder these episodes are 22 minutes. Okay. No, no I'm not skipping over a damn thing. Okay, did we get to the point where we are start ordering at brunch and Frazier? suggests a wonderful game team building exercise called oh Tell tell the other person next to you what you hate about that. Oh, I didn't get that You didn't see that. No, I didn't see that. Oh yeah, it was awesome. You know, we had the corporate exercises at North

American Insurance and I really wish they would have used this one because I would have said, hey what do you hate about Susan, Pat? Well, I don't like that she brings tuna fish sandwiches to work every day. It makes her cubicle smell. Yeah. And I hate you for that, Susan. Yeah. And then we would have hugged and cried and there would have been a bonding moment. Yeah, you know hate you for that Susan. Yeah, and then we would have hugged and cried and there would have been a bonding moment Oh, yeah, you know, I've been through one of those and it's when I worked at language access network Which was a healthcare company and a technology company all in one and it was out in Manhattan Beach And there's a food desert out in Manhattan Beach. Those people are I

mean It's really all you can eat in Manhattan Beach is ceviche and whatever you can eat in, Ohio So it's like Panda Express and fucking shake ease and shit like that anyways We're doing a tennis ball Thing right now. It's in the tennis ball of this person this person famously infamously This was the company where I said, you know I'm not really feeling this and I thought they would give me as much time as I needed to either feel it or not feel it and I came back in on Monday and

they were like you're fired this is who you're gonna be training I was like what is happening right now this is bullshit okay so anyways this is okay so the great this is a great brunch. This is a great brunch. It actually doesn't go as bad as I thought it would, but Rainbow looks at Ole and Barbara and she's disgusted by them being friends on the account that she fatally wounded both their sisters in a game of blood and survival. I gotta tell ya, you know, you fuck around with a lady who survived a gauntlet of the most dangerous game You might get skewered all I'm saying is they need to

Turn on a frequency that matches hers a little bit less. They be fucking killed I mean you saw what happened to the folks in Carrie's township you know what I mean poor pig blood on her and see what happens you're gonna get lit on fucking fire okay yeah god damn it now I do want to say this about rainbow to be fair she's she's caught my interest she's a different archetype she could like the boat on fire I don't know oh yeah I, this boat could look like the end of a James Bond movie. I'd be curious to see if there's a love interest this season for

her. Yeah, me too. Me too. I went I wonder who whoever is going to replace Chihuahua is going to be. I mean, who knows? We love the the carousel of Sea Rat. Well, you know, I like to keep a secret. No, don't say anything about it. You shut up about it. Fine. I love a secret. I know you love a secret. But the thing about your love of secrets is that you have to shed it very, very quickly. That's how much

you love it. That's right. Right. I can't keep it. It's kind of like, like, like a player saying I love you so much. That's why I have to not be with you anymore. I have to let you go. And one could ask, is that really love? Well, you you let that person go and they come back to you as meant to be. The Sea Rats? Well, not if you say I don't welcome you back. I love you too much. Please go away. You know, okay, so um, the

Sea Rats get back to the boat and immediately get to work. This was the reward? A fucking breakfast? A brunch, yeah. My God. Love Island felt Kyle's cock while kissing and now she is peaked, okay?

Because I don't know, if you're a lady and you feel like disclosing this in the comments, you can, but I wonder closing this in the comments you can but I wonder how granular an experience it is. How clear is the picture? You know, you're making out with a guy, something brushes up against you. Can you tell specifically how big it is? Yeah. Oh, well, I don't know how big it is. But definitely. Well, what would what else would you tell just if he

has a dick? I think so. And it was hard. Okay, but he was excited. But what I'm saying is, I think Love Island, saline cirque du saline was like, I think he's got a double barrel down there. And that's why she got excited. As a kickstand for a cock. Right. verified. Right. Okay. You know, the Scottish I mean, listen. I don't think they're known for that at all. You don't think they're known for that?

No, no, no, no. They're like us still. They're Irish. Oh, really? Yeah, God punished us all. You know, I think I was, I thought it was something, I found, like, I think I brought this up before, though. But I think it was the Scottish or the Irish,

they invented whiskey. And they didn't invent a single thing for another like five Centuries or something like that when you're just sitting around drinking and fucking punching people I would imagine that I mean I don't know Darwin stuff I don't know how long it takes but maybe your dicks can get collectively bigger over that long. I don't know You think should we move on? Oh, sure. Okay, great. Let's move on And I want to apologize to you and everyone listening for that conversation. That's totally fine Rainbow is feeling alone because she can't

Because she can be a kind of a Hard person that's right and we cut back to her panic attack days later sheets Love Island doesn't like Rainbow because Rainbow in attempts to curry favor and strike up friendships launches into impromptu English languages or English lessons to someone who already speaks English pretty condescending Yeah, and and I don't think that she means for it to be condescending I just don't understand what the origin of it is. Like maybe it's just a panic I don't I don't know what it is, but it's definitely soft room shit. Well, oh, hey Soleil. She's the she's a smarty pants

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's playing this wonderfully. Yeah, I think so Now we get to watch the the swing Yeah, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. KO does not communicate. Well, well the boat swings and Carrie begins calling him an idiot. Yeah He calls Chihuahua fucking idiot. I mean probably 17 18 19 times this episode. Okay, so this is something I'm sorry to keep referencing North American insurance. It was my only corporate America, corporate experience in my lifetime. One thing I noticed with supervisors, you never wanted to get on their radar. You wanted to just slide by, just be the mediocre worker. You don't bother anybody.

You don't cause any problems because once you're on a supervisor or a manager's radar they've made up their mind well now the little things that you did become tens so what would have been a one of maybe not lowering that fender as quickly as possible now that's a goddamn ten and carry it's such a good point because when you're working with Sea Rats they invariably will put everyone's life at risk I mean numerous times throughout a season. If it's not a compilation of things no big deal you know we have one of these conversations in the in the bridge about how we need to focus and and make the most of this and stuff like that but then we move on

and everybody could have died but we just move on you know what I mean Chihuahua It's not being called like a fucking idiot like 17 18 19 times an episode you know I'm I'm torn with him because I don't know if he's as Incompetent as he's being portrayed and also he's not a scumbag He's a bore as fuck to watch television but given our past experiences with Bo's since you might have want to give him a past just because he's not prepared to sexually

assault someone oh yeah he wasn't trying to literally rape someone so that's a that's good but um I would say that what's his name? K.O. K.O. Kawhi, Kawhi Ayo. Okay, Kawhi Ayo. Someone wrote this in our comments and I'm so grateful, but Kawhi's biggest crime is getting home,

not going in the jacuzzi, and instead playing an acoustic guitar, as though he is some kind of fucking Ryan Cabrera? I'm sorry. On the way down, I saw you and I want you off the fucking show, okay? My God. I'm so glad you brought up Ryan,

because he's so relevant. Well definitely. Hey, sorry, break it here with one of those annoying ad reads. Yeah. You know how you haven't slept for three and a half weeks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I have a company for you that could change all that. Really? Yeah, it's a company called Lumi. Oh, I love Lumi. Oh, so do I. Because it's an edibles company just to get that out front there. And they make you feel good. And they don't make you feel too high

because old Patty has experienced that one time I'm at a house party, someone hands me some weed, I'm smoking it. The next thing I'm staring at this guy fixated on him across for me. And I'm like, I think that guy's a goddamn serial killer. But he wasn't right. It was just that I was paranoid and really, really high. Or how about that time you did that one thing with a company that is not a sponsor of this show, but it was like way too strong. You ended up in, okay, let's see this. Pat is enjoying himself at the party. One second, someone's like, hey, do you want this gummy? He goes, how many milligrams? They go, what, too too many and then cut to two hours later pat is in his uh his dodge 72 dodge and he's in a person's living room but still in the car the kids are crying the husband's like insurance insurance and the cops are there and pat's like i don't know i don't know how i got here i don't know how this happened but loomi is not like any of that.

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I was super stressed so I took the hybrids strawberry cookie gummy and I took a hot shower and let me tell you something I can't remember the last time I was so relaxed. Yeah, Lumi gummies are available nationwide. So go to lumigummies.com That's lumigummies.com use promo code badTV, get this people, for 30% off. Again, loomiegummies.com and use the promo code badTV. Yeah, it's amazing. When I take loomiegummies, I can just hear my daughter cry, but just turn it into a dream.

I don't even get up. Isn't that magical? I don't think she'll have a problem with that. No. Maybe later in therapy. Yeah, but you won't remember. There's some faint memory I have of being abandoned. Alone.

Yeah. I think my dad sucks. Yeah, yeah. Her therapist calls me, like, we gotta talk about this. I roll in there, I'm like, kid, you got no fucking idea what abandonment is, okay? I mean, what are we doing here? You know, and then I get demon eyes

at the whole fucking thing. All right. So, um, we have Chihuahua get pulled up to the bridge and Captain Carrie's like, listen, you're a fucking idiot. Okay. And we got our super big problem because I think you're a fucking idiot. And so I'm going to be watching you exactly what you mentioned. You don't want to be on the radar. Um, He also used this phrase and I'm going to next time we interview Captain Kerry I'm going to go. All right, Kerry, you can come on. We're going to interview you, but I'm going to apply full pressure. Okay, I'm going to apply full pressure.

Go ahead. Ask me whatever you want. Well, I haven't figured that out yet, but I know you're a fucking idiot. You know, I'm going to be watching you. Okay. I'm going to be fucking watching you. And if you fuck up one fucking know, I'm gonna be watching you, okay? I'm gonna be fucking watching you, and if you fuck up one fucking time, I'm gonna fucking fire you,

and that's exactly what he does. But it's worth mentioning, if we really kind of understand how humans work, he was already fired at this point. Yeah, 100%. Especially when he does that intel little tender drive with Jess, but Jess is also someone that I like that That's like, yeah, I love Jess.

She's great. I wish she'd push out a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She reminds me of a character on Doug. Doug. Yeah, do do do do do do do do do do. You know, Doug, Doug Benson. No, Skeeter, Patty mayonnaise, Roger. Maybe not my generation. Whoa.

That's pretty wild. Okay. So, um, now when KO meets with his team, here's the thing about KO. Now KO is a nice guy, boring Ryan Cabrera on the way down. We talked about it, right? But this is what he does. He goes, I just got yelled at. You guys better fucking stop being pigs, okay?

Let's step up people. Pick up the slack, okay? You guys are fucking up. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's not right. Now, Deimo voices it. There is a mutiny afoot here, okay? Deimo, and this is what happens, okay? This is why it's very, very hard to keep empires afoot

because the constituents will sometimes not voice the problems they have and know that the grenade is about to blow up. Now, Deimo just wants to see Chihuahua fail and will just step aside and freaking suck off with Frazier while it's happening. Was Deimo the one that said, maybe it was with him and Kyle where he's like, you know, sometimes I know he's fucking up and I just let him yeah yeah yeah when your enemy's making a mistake don't interrupt them let them give them rope so um we get to the preference sheet meeting oh wait come on man no no no you've been gone

no no no I know okay it's time for the preference sheet Now one sucked sucked. Bunch of goddamn Chew G fucking whites. Nice family. What is the theme? What is the theme? What's the theme of these fucking dinners? Florida? Florida? I mean, good goddamn. We got a guy and a guy in a goddamn fucking tuxedo t shirtshirt. I mean my god these people are my kind of people They're really not a party three-day charter though and we

We did one of those things that we saw in the last little zoom through I'm actually kind of liking it a little montage of an entire day What was the name of Liam Neeson's late wife who died tragically on the slopes? Any other day I would just pop that name out Beautiful blonde woman. Mm-hmm. I do have my phone. Why are you asking that? Definitely wasn't an hash the human missile No, no, no, she took herself out And then came back from the dead to scare children. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and hey she perished on concrete She did not perish in snow. In fact, she perished in the opposite of snow

Elementally, it was actually fire which is Fine yeah Liam Neeson's dead wife Natasha something I think Natasha. Yeah Why do you ask Dylan? I just want to know her name Natasha Richardson Natasha Richardson just class beauty and Why do you ask Dylan? I just want to know her name. Natasha Richardson. Natasha Richardson. Just class, beauty, and Hallie and Annie's mom. I would say that the reason I brought it up is because one of these,

the woman has a broken arm from skiing. That's right. Okay, now people, get in the comments. Would you go on a ski trip? Okay? So this was a little different. They don't even get into it. This is adrenaline junkie bullshit. This is like Wearing one of those fucking squirrel costumes and jumping on the mountain. Okay those idiots. He said hella skiing Yeah, that's where they drop you off at a place that you could not get to because I lived in Lake Tahoe for right There's a lot of right half of them die every ski season,

and yet they keep doing it. Yeah. If you have to put a, what do you call those things? Those little beeper things? You have to put one of those. Those. Like a tracking thing where they can find you? Yeah.

If you have to pop one of those on the ski vest, nope. Not doing it. Here's the other crazy thing. Because they have to make sure that there's not loose snow that can cause an avalanche. Before the helicopter lands to drop your ass off, they throw dynamite down there to blow it up. No. Yeah. I thought they they got to do the shovel test thing. I always see that on YouTube shorts and whatnot where they're doing the pat down thing and they go see this is this. I'm like how do you fucking

glean any information from that? It's's very very confusing I don't know if you knew this those squirrel people that fly yeah like you know what I think the death ratio is like like everyone eventually dies if you're into that oh sure I mean it's like playing right you play Russian roulette long enough you will shoot your head off you know what I mean I I mean, everybody see deer hunter. Listen, um, You me The wives and the children if we ever would you ever go up to mammoth? Nah, you wouldn't I don't like it. It's cold That's why I moved to los angeles. You would deprive your children of ski lessons because you don't want to be cold

Well, you know I can I can point them in different directions other than cold things. Hey, how about this cheerleading camp? That seems much nicer. But then you don't get to do anything. You just have to sit while they're doing cheerleading camp. Oh, well, I'm going to do things with my kids. Like, just tonight, Quinn and I, we

watched the rest of Skeleton Crew. That Star Wars kids thing. It's really fun. Okay. Nobody wants to ski with me. My wife doesn't want to ski with me. Nobody wants to ski with me. I'll go golfing with you. We should go golfing soon. Okay, so we go on a date. I love this. This was fucking hilarious. Can I tell you why? Yeah, of course. So Ole upon entering the establishment says, uh, is this restaurant casual? Apparently she didn't see the foosball

table in the middle of the room. I would argue that, uh, screams casual. Yeah. I mean, everybody knows that, uh, foosball tables, air hockey, those are the, the markings and the trappings of a, of a really, really nice restaurant. You know, Carbone famously has a beautiful, um, foosball table in the middle of the time. Oh, is that really nice restaurant. You know, Carbone famously has a beautiful foosball table in the middle of the day. Oh, is that right? Yep, yep, yep. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Actually, you know, that's one of my things I don't like about Nobu is you have to like to get to the bar, you got to walk around a pool table. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. I mean, listen, that's why I don't really like these places. Mastro's. I mean, listen, that's why I don't really like these places. Mastro's. I mean, you name it. And to think you could put another table there, you could put a four-top there. That's you're losing money by having a full table. It's crazy. But, you know, they got to keep people happy.

So we have this date and Soleil says that she's been heartbroken in the past, right? She was once so in love with somebody that she stopped eating. Well, why did she stop eating? Because she was heartbroken. Well, no, dear. This is Tom Likus. She was dumped four times and after she was dumped each time, she fell more in love, dear. Yes. Right. Treat them like dirt. she fell more in love dear. Yes

Treat them like dirt they stick like mud, you know, this is a little bit like Quasimodo to me Okay so when Esmeralda passes Quasimodo begins to waste away and what does he do he Falls next to her and lays down next to her dead body and then he just he just dies there with her and it's actually not Cute. It's actually fucking creepy as shit So a little bit like that They head back to the boat and they freaking totally have sex with each other Yes, they do and then we get to the next morning. Well not before Frazier has thoughts on this. Yeah, cuz he's seen this before and he also has a functioning brain. He looks at this situation. He's like, these guys are just going to bump uglies and this will go nowhere.

And that's because he understands how sea rats work in their natural environment. It's like throwing a rat in a snake cage. We know what's going to happen. It's not going to work. The rat's going to fuck the snake and then they're both going to move on. All right. Oh, oh, also, Kyle calls his mommy and she, yeah, she lets him know her brother is still having sex with his wife and that was... No, that was Anthony. Yeah, that's what I meant. Sorry, sorry. So, so, so, okay, so I don't know what producer stumbled upon these phone calls

and decided we must put these in the show to demonstrate the heart of this IP. It humanizes them, Dylan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing you can do to humanize the Sierra. They can cry, they can wax about things that relate to us. They are seafaring people. They have nothing in common with us land dwellers. They are fucking sea rats. Okay. I know they have parents that does not make them the same.

We all have parents. Okay, come on. Steven Seagal had a parent, you know, Anthony talking to his mother. Hey, hey, hey, you know, one of my favorite cold opens of all time was Pat played a clip of this blockheaded fucking idiot on the valley talking about how he has a boyfriend now who can cook for him. And it pats that up, who gives a fuck, right? That's how I feel about these goddamn phone calls with his mom. I mean, it's not even fucking English.

It's gonna be really entertaining to see Anthony get fired for a second time. Oh my God, we're gonna have one Nutella crepe station go wrong. It's going to be. OK, so Frazier calls his boyfriend and they broke up. I got to give, you know, Frazier, we're supposed to see your life unfold before the cameras. The fact that you just leave the boat where

you know there's no cameras and you fucking do the deed there. It's a big no-no in Patty's book. It's a big no-no. This is a Kyle Richards move. and you fucking, you know, do the deed there. It's a big no-no in Patty's book. It's a big no-no. This is a Kyle Richards move, but I will say, breaking up with somebody who you've been with for not that long and you've seen five times in one year, that's a little bit like being impeached

as like a room parent, you know? It's like, okay, I guess it's a thing, but. It's not gonna break anybody's heart. Yeah, it's not really a thing. Yeah and This tribunal you all have put together wherein you voted me out Like I'm Nixon or something. We're talking about macaroni paintings. Okay, uh Okay, the charter guests arrived a couple of fucking whites Darlene normally wouldn't ask for the sea rats to unpack her bag, but when she was

being Thrust out of a helicopter onto the slope of a mountain that human beings shouldn't be having fun on she broke her arm Now Robert is allergic to alcohol. He breaks out in handcuffs when he drinks Robert god damn it Robert we had a nickel for every time he said that. Yeah, that's we'd have a nickel. Chihuahua gets a dime dropped on him. Jess and Carrie head out to Mullet Bay and and Jess basically says the guy's a fucking idiot. And Carrie says you wouldn't believe this. I've been calling him a fucking

idiot all fucking morning. She's like, no way. Barbara, I can't really understand what Barbara is saying ever. Yeah. And she says something about being a lady and having another gay lady. And that being nice. Yeah, she's bonding with Jess, who's also into ladies. And then they kind of bond over breakups. And now, you know, she had dated a quote-unquote straight girl for two years and she strung her along too long so yeah now she's not gonna wait for people anymore you know you get hurt by someone totally totally you carry that into your next couple relationships

I mean back to Quasimodo you know he wasn't waiting around for anybody he just popped in that coffin started fucking dying right next to her listen one of the Chugui whites begins to break down the entire family dynamic of the people on the boat. Don't wow Don't do that. Oh my god. I'm so fast. I mean, I mean listen, I know that the sea rats asked but they're lying Yeah, they're lying. So you're literally talking to someone who's not listening. Yeah. Yeah. I mean imagine Take a styrofoam cup. Now start talking to it. How foolish do you feel?

You know, it's funny though. Now that I have to deal with these parents that don't, we don't give a shit about each other because we're still trying to feel each other out. Yeah. Someone like, what do you do for work or something? They'll ask me and I'll like start talking and I'll notice they'll just drift off.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, like sometimes I'm like, I'm gonna just stop talking and see if they notice. Oh dude. notice they'll just. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. I'm like like sometimes I'm like I'm going to just stop talking and see if they notice. And they don't. I am I am so dreading that. I am so dreading. You're young enough that it might not as affect you as much as it does me because your generation might be more still

like partying and stuff. Yeah. I'm with a bunch of old fucking folgies. Genuinely the last time somebody really tried to get roped into our friend circle, my wife introduced me to her friend's boyfriend, and he started talking to me about how, yeah, I've told this before, but he was in marketing,

and I was just like, God, that sounds so boring. And he was super offended by it. Got a couple more conversations like that coming up in the future. Oh, you got a lot more. Oh, yeah Don't talk to me about Content management systems as though you're talking about a roller coaster my god

Yeah, man. Okay, we get to volleyball turnpike tributaries verse the deck terriers now. Let's skip over this phrase let's skip over it, but Frazier does like volleyball and it's crazy that he likes volleyball because Frazier and volleyball have a tumultuous relationship on the show. That being, if you'll recall, Sandy Yon, you know how Sandy Yon flips out and it like is still in Saigon every once in a while. She went up to Frazier in front of everyone and was like this man is disgusting and he's not Look at this fucking yeah, it was so bizarre

Now we but it got cleared up because we had the reality gaze Jake and Maddie come on and they you know cleared the air They're like he's a twink and she fucking hates twink. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank God for that All right lunch is grilled tarragon chicken with Mediterranean salad branzino and the whole thing is just a beautiful and clean lunch but we get up to Oh, there's a mutiny of foot like this just talking to KO Yeah, she's like, hey, I need a goddamn break schedule and he pushes back and they finally or he finally schedule and he pushes back and they finally or he finally agrees to do a break meeting at the start of each day. Yeah well this is the turning point in the the the kind of you know it's it's a tale as old as time the the usurper

right the protagonist usurper right there's somebody who is not fit to lead the group and and they take over usually the person that's not fit has some kind of surreptitious tie to the adversarial power, but they're supplanted eventually. And you can tell by the language, the courage starts to seep out of the mouth, really. Jess says, I don't want my deck team suffering, right? Now, she's just a decky, right?

These are not her people yet, but she's speaking as as the Arthurian boasts and that we need. Let me say this. Yeah, you know this still. You see when blood is in the water and you realize you can step out of your you can kill you can kill yes or you know someone else will be soon killed so you can talk that way. So we wrap the beach thing after 12 flops around on the floaty deck for a while and we get ready for dinner Which Captain Carrie will be attending now the last time Captain Carrie sat down for a meal with Anthony We hit the trifecta the food was late cold and disgusting

Yum. Yeah now Dill on the on the other side of that It was for Jill's errand. So I think we can all admit that. Oh, was it for Jill Zarin? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's the one that wanted, she suggested that they have an electronic buzzer that would alert the staff. Well, not just out of nowhere, she'd had that before. Oh, good. Yeah. For her. Housewives used to be so good. Yeah. I think she only got two seasons though. I'm not talking about when Joe was on. Over the the the leave when we were just kind of sitting

around. C's had on old New York specifically. I believe they called it slut island when Lou and Alice ups bangs that that fuck. Oh, I love pirates. Yeah, she, she had said in the caboose. She had sex with a guy who dressed up as Captain Jack Sparrow at a bar and then said, you know, it was just my Italian friends were over last night and then proceeds to go on the

phone and speak in French as though if she's speaking in French, they can't understand what I'll do the transfer. Yeah, I never tell. I never tell. So you don't tell either. Okay, dear. By the way, I want to do a little promotion. I will be performing at Radio City Music Hall on Saturday, July 17th, and I'll be performing all the hits. I've got you under my thumb, boopy-doo-boop-oo. And it's so funny because Crazy Eyes Killer Ramona goes around and she's like,

I think I know what you were doing last night. I mean, Housewives used to be so good. It's so good. Miami. I got it much, much fun. And Atlanta is pretty good. All right. Well, Anthony is the fucking boss. He's going to knock this out of the fucking park. We get to dinner and the theme is retirement community. So before that, Rainbow and Salane have a little bit of a, you know, we try to I feel bad for Rainbow, you know, she clearly has been through a lot. Yeah, we talked about what she's been through. Yeah. You and I have

never seen flesh fly. No, not once. Never seen anything like that. So yeah, interpersonal sewings together are a little challenging for her. And saline is a popular girl, you know, she's not she may be low on the totem pole, but she's it's this exchange of currencies, right? So rainbow is is the one who's competent, experienced, saline does not value that currency Right. So rainbow is is the one who's competent experienced Salin does not value that currency whatsoever. Okay, we don't take your Your freaking pound or whatever here

She's pricing out at this point and probably working like how much should I charge to see my asshole? Oh, oh, yeah Yeah, that's right. That's right God Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right. Um God What do you what are people doing you paying you paying $70 to see people's assholes? You know, sometimes it's worth it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean listen, we've all been there. You're like I've got to see that asshole You see it you're like I saw that asshole that's crazy So anyways, I do want to. That's crazy. So anyways, I do want to there's a meanwhile here, Dale. Yeah. Meanwhile, Captain Carrie, he's sitting at that table eating

dinner, yucking it up with the charter guests. I like how he shares. He explains why his marriage didn't work out. And which was that his wife, his ex wife really didn't know him. On the positive side, she wasn't having sex with his uncle. Yep. That's tough. That's tough. Hello, mom.

Do you remember dad's brother and how he... It's like... God damn it, man. All right, let's get to dinner. First course is a tuna ceviche. I can't really fuck that up. Just make it clean, make it nice. Then we get to ropa vieja with saffron rice and plantains.

Now, this is a beautiful dish, it's a labor of love. A stewed South American meat is always gonna be delicious. Now, if we go from a ceviche or a crudo, now I know we're still within the same realm of gastronomy, but I need a bridge between ceviche and rubavie. Oh. Okay, because we're going from delicate to gai fieri pretty quickly.

Oh, really? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're going from tuna ceviche, a clean, to diners, drive-ins and dives. Delicate dish to here is a goddamn fucking cafeteria tray of stewed beef and starch. Now listen, like I said, it's a labor of love, I'm not going to kick it out of the bed. What I will say is that this is a four pot dinner.

I mean, come on, thematically,, I mean it's just completely clashing. I mean this is like, this is like, what, what, what, what, this is like, if I was, I don't know what to compare it to, but it's, it's a freaking car crash, okay. And then the red velvet cake looked absolutely delicious. Although I will say red velvet is a little bit, you know, it's going the way of the chakriti plate, okay. Let's come up with new cakes. let's move on past the red valve I think we got to start getting into a store store candy like nerds nerds is making its way throughout all like fast food well it's the cluster menchies has a flavor and then today I drove through Burger King to get that impossible burger what do I see on the goddamn menu yeah you know what I'm talking about, right? No. They have a nerd's slushie. Yeah. That's crazy.

It's the cluster and it goes to show you what one product can do. Change the- No, I'm kidding. Anthony, this was a great meal. It did clash. 70 pots. Captain Carey liked it. Next morning. Next morning, we zoomed through the second day of the charter. I'm a massive fan of that. We don't need to be with these people for that long. We don't really need to be with any charter guests for any super long amount of time unless they are awful. Okay. If they are extremely difficult, extremely rude. Keep them on our screens. If not, let's get back to the

internal conflict within the C-R community. Yeah, I should appreciate this quick edit. Yeah. We wrap with a departure, a tip that was compensated for the stingy gaze. Oh, yes, yes, yes. We By the way, do we even care what they was we were gonna have sky knocks on I'm in communication with them. Do we want them to explain because they're claiming that they actually? Made a gave a bigger tip and might have the receipts and production fucked them You can keep chatting with them I Was curious about yeah, no, I mean it's interesting. Maybe they can let us know

We'll broadcast. Yeah, yeah Pride Week. Yeah, we're Britt. They're busy at Pride Week in Canada. Yeah, we're busy with kids. That's right. So yeah, maybe not. So one last note here, before we wrap up. I mean, listen, if I was a freaking 26-year-old youngster just freaking smoking pot all the time, I'd be like, hey, let's have everybody on. I would too.

Yeah, I got to get out of here. Yeah, my time is very important. Yeah, so when they go through that goddamn bridge The stern line isn't fast Stern line isn't fast and fast enough. Yeah, and Carrie's very annoyed once again and Well the the goddamn dinghy popper, you know the thing that prevents I'm always amazed. What an amazing piece of technology You know, it's a little bit like just air. It's just air, you know It's not it's not low enough. So they could just scrape against the dock. And that's the last straw for

care. He goes to wow, you're a complete fucking idiot. And I have to say, I'm letting you go. Would you have preferred if they kept this as a cliffhanger? No. Okay. No. Well, one of the nicest boasts and boasts and fuck ups we've had in a long time Yeah, I think Chihuahua was actually really nice. And if you want to come on, I Doubt he will I think he just wants to play his guitar. Yeah. Yeah, let us know Say la vie. Thank you guys so much for listening. Get me the iTunes ratings turns out we kind of need your help Yeah, yeah, they're zinging us with those one stars. Yeah, the one stars are tough.

Support our sponsors, Lumi and Averill Burner. Oh, thank you, Averill. That picture is so sweet, seriously. Love you guys for listening. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat, say goodbye. Later, dudes! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it.