Kill James Bond! - Pineapple Upside Down Shots | Below Deck Med S7 E3

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to talk fun shots, the Fifth Element, Iowa, Idaho, Wyoming and other states, how Kyle is the best, how Raygun is not the best and much more of Bravo's Below Deck Med.Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Down Under, Below Deck Sailing Yacht seasons 1 & 2 AND Love is Blind Season 2.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetworkVideo of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw?sub_confirmation=1

So the guests arrive, more trash promotional shots are poured. I do not understand this ethos. I don't get it. It is different. Normally it's just a glass of voo. Yeah, peanut butter jelly and pickle sandwich is also different. welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below i know you're not feeling well but how about a little bit more oomph in your step can you uh oomph it up for us then. Hey, everybody! Thank you.

Food poisoning, we talked about it on another podcast show. Check that out. We all told our stories of various venomous bacteria taking over our bowels and making us do things like sweat and moan. Begging for death. Begging for death, but also losing eight pounds and wondering, would I do this again

if I could lose another eight? Anyways, that's it for me doing intro for this show and plugging other show. I'm Dylan saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy matey. Pat producer of the podcast over there behind my glasses. Hey everybody, permission to come aboard. Permission granted. What an episode of Below Deck Mediterranean we've got to cover.

But before we get there, Pat, hit us with some PSA. I want to thank everybody that came out for the live show last week. I'm not sure if I had an opportunity to do that yet. We had a great show with Kay Casey. So thank you for all the people that showed up. It was great to see the faces that listened. It'll be two weeks past when they hear this. Oh, that's right.

It's just such a bad public service well it took uh what it take 10 seconds still and you complained about your bowels for at least five seconds well what else there's a long plug for another podcast show yeah that was just my tone sure sure okay so i i don't think this audience knows uh at least everybody our new listeners we actually mock the tv show the Bachelorette or The Bachelorette. I recap it. I didn't know you guys were mocking it. I'm mocking it. So head on over to our other feed, another Bachelor podcast, to hear us do great work over there.

And then also we do The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills behind that paywall. Call patreon.com slash another podcast network give us five bucks getting those itunes reviews because we need your help we want to hit 1500 a lot of people have been saying that we have hatred in our hearts and that we um we hate women and various races and um people of different sexual orientation stuff like that i'm 1.2 kongolese. But that's wrong. Listen to a review like this one from Mike Heavy. So funny.

This podcast makes me laugh out loud. Always look forward to new episodes. Many exclamation marks. Do stuff like that, okay? We love you very much. As opposed to what, Dylan? As opposed to like, you know, don't listen to these whiny bros.

They fucking hate black people. I don't know. Did you ever miss out? Just a hypothetical. Did you ever miss out on the opportunity to be at a fraternity? Well, no. Here's your chance with three bros to recap. Yeah.

Why do they always have to bring up our race? I'm so averse to fraternities. They don't know us at all. I've always been disgusted by frat life. I'm not a fan of it. They lose the high ground because it shows you don't listen to our nuanced and intelligent recap then let's get into the nuanced and intelligent recaps of bravo's below deck mediterranean uh how many thoughts and how many pots and or knots do we give it nick why don't you take it away i have a couple thoughts uh i'll i won't spoil my knots until

i give those thoughts uh i would hope not backaco okay okay all right so i can relate to dickhead dave all right dickhead dave is actually not a real dick dick is in the full throes of being obsessed with uh some new vagina and he will do anything if if uh if she asked him uh natasha to kill somebody it's a possibility at this point in their relationship. He is a Manchurian candidate right now. He is, if someone says the code word, that lobotomy turns around. Not just someone, if Natasha does. Okay, so I can completely relate to Dave's story arc.

He becomes a different person, a jealous person, an insecure person, and a threatening person. A slow drunk whose eyes roll into the back of his head. Well, I felt like I knew Dave. And then his performance on tonight's episode was a true disappointment. I was very disappointed in you. Mr. Hyde. But then I realized there's a little part of me in him because I've also been very obsessed with a new vagina.

And then he apologized to everybody. And that was my favorite part of the episode. of me and him because i've also been uh very obsessed with a new vagina and so i okay and then he and then he apologized to everybody and that was my favorite part of the episode i did you say intellectual and nuanced that might that might be why the it's just like oh right so anyway i really liked it uh 42 knots that's pretty high actually it's good priest pretty good episode it was it was a pretty good episode uh It was a pretty good episode. Though Dave's descent into... Can I go next? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm kidding.

Into complete unlikability continued at a rapid pace tonight. I've never before, as my opinion of a cast member, swayed so fast so soon. I liked him. I thought he was a badass episode one of War in China. But episode two, I really didn't like him. I thought he was a Wes-esque of War of China. But episode two, I really didn't like him. I thought he was a Wes-esque simp bitch. And that only continued tonight. But that being said, it made for good television.

Raygun and Captain Sandy, I mean, the sexual tension is palpable. They are butting heads right and left. I do understand where the Sigma Chi comes from. Intellectual and nuanced. I will just say that I am so looking forward to this season. Sure, it could flame out, but I can't

remember a better first three episodes to a season. I think the casting is absolutely flawless right now. We're in a honeymoon period where the Comedia Del Andi is operating in fucking full force efficiency I mean we've got the the the color characters in Natalia and Kyle are incredible the people driving the drama are warped enough to make it exciting and not just

pure evil like Chef Brian uh yeah the thing with dave and natasha is great ray gun is i mean she's at a cosplay convention right now but she's on a boat and people's lives and um what's the other thing hospitality you're on the line what's it something about life comfort yeah something about lives around the line so it's just been so good it's a soap opera on a boat, dude. 92 Pots. We'll get to it plenty of times tonight, but I just want to piggyback on the, I mean, there's great comedic duos in history, Abbott and Costello,

Timon and Pumbaa, and now we have Tia and Tamara. Tia and Tamara. Now we have Kyle and Natalia. They're so funny. So last we left off, things were really going downhill at Barnar. Dave and Tosh did a really good job hiding this secret. But after a long while, they broke. And it would seem that on day three, they haven't completely broken yet.

But on day three, you can see the levee is beginning to form cracks. It's that really exciting moment when you hear wood planks start to crack but you can't see anything but yes right yeah but it hasn't completely snapped in half and like stabbed you in the foot or whatever yeah no it's hitchcockian anticipation building but this is such a fucking c-rap move like if you're going to be open about it then fine you can um sleep in the same room and be all over one another and pretend to blow cucumbers in the galley next to them but if you're trying to keep it a secret a sea rat then don't do those things so wild i mean it's so obvious it's almost insulting to our intelligence and i I don't know. I mean, she tries to explain it away that she just didn't want people to judge them, which is why it needs to be a secret.

Sea rat nonsense. And then now you got to hide all this when you're boning. But you saw that producer, that chubby little guy, tuck away that little camera that's staring down at you in the bunkies. Right. Natasha, they're going to look at that later. Right. camera that's staring down at you in the bunkies right natasha they're gonna look at that later right this this this little thing that you're trying to hide is all gonna be uh given to all of us at a later date the smoke will dissipate and everybody will see you guys boning yeah the the creepiest thing is that orwellian like pedo big brother kind of i don't like when the camera moves oh it gives it a certain character

yes when it's just stagnant and stuck it's it's still very invasive and creepy but when it moves oh yeah i felt like was there not to get ahead of ourselves but when those two were in the the shower for 28 minutes yeah when the camera was like trying to do something like i need to get a better shot you can door is closed, camera. Just keep it stuck. You're freaking people out. Even though we didn't see anything, I would have been fine with an unedited one shot of all 28 minutes. Okay.

So Kyle says, let's turn it the fuck up. And Natasha, once again, air eats an orifice and sucks it off too. And we move on to clubbing. But not before Natasha drops, or excuse and sucks it off too. And we move on to clubbing, but not before the Shasha drops or excuse me. I'm weak. Drapes herself all over Indiana. Indiana J. Completely out of context.

That wasn't like he made some killer joke. She was just like, Oh my God, you're so funny. And right on top of Indiana J. Can I break down a little bit of the game film and what I think is taking place here? Because you know, I've lived a little bit of the game film and what I think is taking place here? Because you know I've lived a

lot longer life than both of you. I've been a cheating piece of shit. I've also been cheated on. I've also been in a relationship that's very similar to what's happening to poor Dave over here. Okay, I started dating this girl who was cheating on her boyfriend. What the fuck? I don't know the guy. What do I

care? I don't owe him anything. Now, was that when you were younger and devoid of empathy? Yes, of course. Yes, yes, yes. Because that's such a fucked up thing to do. It was. Unless you're in love. I had not evolved as a person to understand the emotional trauma that that may cause another human being.

Right. I be the boyfriend. Out of sight, out of mind. Exactly. I don't fucking know him. I don't know him. Just like I didn't know what I was doing to Sports Authority when i i called in sick and said i got my appendix out check out another podcast show so this girl starts boinking me and it's all hot and heavy

okay okay and uh and it's kind of secret too because we're kind of semi working with each other secret smut and anyway she ends up breaking it off with her boyfriend they're done and now i'm you know uh the i'm the side piece. I'm like, we're starting. I'm like, hey, are we going to be in a relationship with each other? What's happening? Next man up. Guess what?

She starts fucking around on me. Turns out I was just, what do you call that? Stepping stone? A stepping stone to another penis. And so she didn't really have feelings for me. All those intense things was because it was so hot just to cheat on her partner, but now that they were broken up, it wasn't hot anymore,

and now she wanted someone possibly a little bit older and with a little bit more stability. Anyway, she dumped my... How do we segue? Oh, well... Yeah, yeah. How does that tie back to... That's what Dave is to Natasha,

but he thinks it's more than that with her. Right. But she just wants him to flip her tabby. He is. Well, oh, God damn it. Why don't we segue into a review of someplace? I don't think we're seeing the last of tonight. I think it's this season's, where are go and fucking down under all the time uh what

white pickney beach no no no air early beach but it was that one place uh ran by that they went to the same tourist spot they went they went to the same one every time but this this season's that place it was like invoke or something yeah it's like really it was like mud or something like uh anyways this season's i'm gonna think of it later is narbar okay so let's let's get a little bit of the tapestry of narbar with uh some just some segments of a couple of the one-star reviews we're dealing with uh but first of all narbar uh escape from ordinary the ordinary into the most vibrant spot in baluta bay hypnotic sounds of live music and vegan and a vegan forward menu

full of rustic nomadic dishes and bursting authentic flavors. Enjoy with sizzling cocktails right by Water's Edge. Bring your loved ones and friends and you can even bring your dog. I'm in. Nothing says what?

Nothing says, no, well, you said bring the dog and now I'm really angry. I was in line at Whole Foods the other day. Everybody's trying to get out. The grocer, the teller is talking to this woman about her dog. And the person who is behind her, who's in front of me, is fawning over the dog too.

And I'm like, what has come over the three of your fucking brains? One, the dog shouldn't be in here. Narbar is a 4.0, 498 reviews. It's 46 out of 118 in the med. And 71 out of 271 in restaurants. So Fantastic Malta writes, one star, 10 reviews. Run by Bulgarians.

Hardly anyone speaks English. Plus they are rude. that was a recurring theme staff extremely rude hassan 800 writes such bad service had to ask for a menu seven times eventually got up and got it myself good grief after the third time you just walk after the second time you you either get the menu or you leave and you don't ever make it anywhere near five times asking for something five times paula gabriel writes filthy bulgarian no i'm just kidding i made that part uh she said our glasses were dirty salad was dry burgers and chips average for the money i wish i would have burnt my 55 euros uh and also the staff was rude so yeah sounds like a fun spot to enjoy some nightlife

you know these sea rats uh don't care about the service because they're sneaking in water bottles full of vodka they're not they're not buying their drinks all night although they are irresponsible with their money and probably blowing their tip it could go either way and now a word from our sponsor better help guys the world needs better help right now everybody's going through some mental strain uh be it addiction to social media, burnout. There are ways to get your mind going. Jog, yog, meditate, do yoga. Sometimes you just need a tune-up, Dill.

But sometimes you need to talk to somebody, and BetterHelp can offer that for you quickly. And BetterHelp can offer that for you quickly. BetterHelp is online therapy. And you can get matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. If you go traditional routes through insurance companies and through traditional medical providers, it'll take you weeks, months, and cost you a lot more money. I love the idea of a tune-up, Pat. Why is our body any different than a vehicle? It's not.

With this go 24-7 grind culture, we're redlining, okay? We need to take a step back and go into the shop and talk to somebody. And to your point, we're all so busy. Who wants to drive into a parking lot, have a little ticket come out that you know you're going to have to validate or get paid later, then walk up some smelly hallway in an office and sit across from some person that you don't like, you don't feel like you're connecting with. That's why BetterHelp is the better choice. Our listeners will get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash below deck. That is B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash below deck. Take care of yourself, everybody. Thank you,

BetterHelp, for sponsoring this show. You know who's really blowing her tip? Raygun. She is slamming liquor and she is nothing but darkness behind the eyes. She is cutting up a rug here, but the real drama is Natasha getting mad at Dave. Now,

Dave is a bit of a wet blanket. Extremely wet blanket. It's a weird thing to bring to the bar with them to have for a fun night out. A hundred percent. He is a bummer drunk. But Natasha is the kind of person I am so happy that I never dated. What is with the drama? What is with the drama? What is with the ignoring him?

What is the crime here that you are punishing him? She's free, Dylan. This is why you get mad at me when I go on, but I break down the game film. But a lot of the audience, I think, appreciates it because they're listening to me and they know I see what's happening. She's really not that into Dave.

She wants the party she's in her party phase as she pointed out in the episode she'd been with that dude that she cheated on for five years hours ago she was giggling in a hallway excited to move in with him and spend the next couple of weeks in a cabin together 36 hours 40 or whatever i'm weak fast forward and she is now ignoring him and prodding him with silence and honestly bullying his heart i think she's a fucking witch and i think that he is uh he's weak right now he's running he's a lump on the rock he's a he's yeah whatever you said if he read crack in the code how to close more ass for less money my if anybody read it publish the damn thing.

Well, we have to talk to the people at Penguin Random House. All right, or at least if I got a little time with Dave, I would have sat next to him and I said, Dave, beat her at her own fucking game. I want you to go over

and grab her little sidekick there, Natalia, and start dancing with her. You want to get Natasha in fucking line, start making her jealous and she'll be back on your dick. Consider the code cracked. Well, he clearly cannot handle this prodding, and that is on display when the sea rats get back to the boat

for their late night feast. I wanted to weigh in on what was going on here. I see both sides of it. She, for a reason, agreed that they weren't dating officially. They may be banging, having fun in their cabin, but they said they weren't dating. And it's the first night with the new crew. They're trying to get to know each other and have a blast. She doesn't want an anchor there.

But she could also, if she really put her mind to it, I think she could take first place at the World Yo-Yo Championships because she has the man on a string. Championships because she has the man on a string. Yeah, she has the man on a string. So I see both sides of it. Yeah, but it's duplicitous and it's mean. Do you want to move on from the first 30 seconds of the episode? 100%.

So they are in their feeding, right? This is what the sea rats do. They get home. They're poisoned by alcohol. And they begin to shove anything and everything into their mouths and dave is blackout and not only that he is in a thick fog of insecurity and resentment he gets in jason's face and begins slowly spitting sayings at him borrow an eye and look at everyone else huh like he sounds like jack sparrow um i thought it was a little bit on the nose

when he looked at her. He goes, you will never forget the day you almost caught Jack Sparrow. Jason is a hero and a muse in this moment. He handles this absolutely flawlessly and then says in his OTFs, this isn't gonna win her back back which is just such a perfect read on the entire situation maybe he did trade commodities he went to duke got knocked out for

the first time at a taco bell in durham and just know my favorite line was fighting is exhausting because it so is it after 20 seconds you feel like you've ran a marathon how about 10 yeah you get your head punched you're punching someone else you're like oh my god will my friends please break this up right just shadow box until you're like oh i'm tired look at your watch it was seven seconds right so um yeah like i said jason handled this perfectly. He goes, I'm not hitting you. We're moving on. But then we get to the fallout in the bunk. Jason chats it up with Kyle. And then I think I've seen enough to justify branding Natasha a witch. the ice in her veins when he walks back in take a shower you'll feel better and then just slips

out of the room while he's showering and she's walking the dog I will say walking the dog she heads up and he begins weeping these two are perfect for one another oh yeah I kinda he quiet in his wittle pill

he don't like me no more uh yeah you were uh you helped her uh get out of her last relationship by uh banging away with her so you deserve you reap what you fucking sow i will say this though her leaving that cabin was probably a good a good move to de-escalate the night because there's nothing to be gotten with a drunk idiot talking. You're not going to resolve anything. I do this with my wife once a year when we have our annual fight over nothing.

I go sleep in the other room with one of the dogs. Right. Well, listen, I don't want to be too harsh on Natasha, but I think she's an evil creature. He's in a weak place and is subservient to a serious detriment. But she says that the way he's acting is unacceptable. And she says that he was in a rage.

Yes and no. He threatened a coworker. He was too slow to be in a rage. And I don't think we really saw. We've seen a rage before. That's true. I don't think this was anywhere close to Ashton punching the side of a van. Not that that is the threshold for rage.

But again, he was just too wet blankety to be in a rage. It's somewhat semantics. I agree that's not rage. It was belligerence. It would qualify as belligerence, wanting to fight and drunk. Well, I just. But not a rage. Iantics. I agree that's not rage. It was belligerence. It would qualify as belligerence, wanting to fight and drunk. Well, I just... But not a rage. I agree.

I agree. She dominates him in the morning. My heart breaks for him because he's so flattened so easily. Not everybody's going to make it, though. Some people are going to realize they're in a toxic relationship, and some people are going to get fucking mowed down by it. It's really, really pathetic. So let's chat with uh

with cap uh kyle lets a little thing slip fifth element was doing somersaults on the dance floor last night and because of this effort to relive the good old days you know black out with her mom in essex uh she cannot get up for work the next day interesting uh way to put it. Let a little thing slip. Right. Kyle is a sassy, sassy bitch. Yeah. I think people have quickly come to not like Reagan. And I think this was incredibly intentional.

I love him. Is this the next morning, by the way? This is next morning. Next morning. So the guys have no idea what to do. But luckily for them, Storm, who gives us a very Sea Rat background on himself. Oh, you think, Dylan? Is there to save the day.

Oh, you know, Storm's background, wouldn't you know it? He raised his sisters because his dad was, wait for it, a piece of shit. Yeah. A tale as old as Sea Rat time. This guy should go on The Bachelor. He would have made it a lot further than the fucking race car driver that got kicked off. Check out another Bachelor podcast. Oh, my gosh.

I'm so bummed that I missed that episode. I actually had notes on that episode. All right. So are you going to mention that Dave does do what he should do? Yes. He apologized to Jason and Ray Gungun wakes up just in time. For the Preference Shape meeting! and slightly before it was the first one maybe the second bit of sexual tension between captain sandy and ray gun where they just combat heads where second bit of sexual tension between Captain Sandy and Reagan,

where they just combat heads. There is no sexual tension. Zero. None at all. Please stop. Okay, maybe it's working place animus. Possibly. More accurate.

Yeah. All right, fine. Whatever. Tomato, tomato. But Reagan says she has food poisoning. I wonder if she went to... El Tremosino. I wonder if she went to El Tremosino. She had a salad.

That would be a crazy time. And added protein. Don't do that. Check out another podcast show. And Captain Sandy... Don't add protein. It's an afterthought. The chicken's just sitting there.

You don't know what they've done to it. Is she starting a... Who has 56 hits in a row? Is it DiMaggio? Doesn't matter. Is she starting a streak where we compliment her episodes in a row? Last week, she parked that boat, and I loved her point-blank calling out. She said, bullshit, you're hungover.

That was dope. Sandy's most improved player this year. Except for a critique of Dave's cuisine later. He's an artist. She said he was an artist. How foolish of you. It's a genius award or a genius move by Captain Sandy to get some hardware, be the worst player by far for years,

and then it's easy to get the most improved. Smart move, Captain Sandy. the worst player by far for years sure and then it's easy to get the most improved uh smart move captain sandy preference sheet meeting primary emily butler spelled b-e-u-t-l-e-r so you know they're fancy uh from cure d'alene and here's the kicker idaho cordaline yeah uh is that how you say it yeah oh uh well i pronounce it well but it sounds so fancy for a place I think of as meth riddled and yellow. Yeah. That's how I think of Idaho. Yellow and brown and gray. Yeah, yellow and brown and gray.

Yellow and brown and gray and sad. Each morning, Emily plans on meditating and practicing yoga during sunrise so that she can start her day with good vibes. Yeah. She should also implement Magic Mind into that routine. Speaking of, how about a word from our sponsor? Magic Mind is a beautiful company. They do beautiful things like create beautiful bottles of anti-procrastination elixirs. If you have one in the morning, you will feel better about your mind and your day.

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Nope. Well, that's beautiful. Echinacea, lion's mane, matcha, and nine other artificial. What? No. And nine other organic. Natural. Natural ingredients.

Ashwagandha being one. You know what I just heard about ashwagandha? It's got like the reverse thing that like, I don't know, like heroin does. The more frequently you take it, the more you need to feel the effects. Ashwagandha actually like embeds. It's an adaptogen. Yeah. You need less to feel the effects going forward.

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A little incentivization here. First three people to do that and post their purchase online, I'll send you 20 bucks. Okay. For my bank account. I don't know if that's legal. That awesome I love that crazy Pat Pat putting up the cheddar that's not coming on 20 bucks I'll mail you back 20 bucks but you gotta post your purchase of magic mine on Facebook that's an extra like discount

off it is that's what is it's a disc deeply discounted and let's also take a break smooth some units and let's also take a break to talk about. All right. It's time to get sexy. You know what time it is, right? Time to get sexy. It's time to get sexy. It's time to talk about Dame.

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Well, this is my line. This thing's incredible. Incredible. I mean, you get it revved up, you've been worrying of us, of technology and robots taking over. Well, this is my line. This thing's incredible. Incredible. I mean, you get her revved up, you know. I mean, back to the car analogy. Yeah. You heard our better help read. I don't know if that was just on the heels of this or 20 minutes ago.

It doesn't matter. We're in a tornado right now. But, yeah, it's fucking – I bet I could end this one. But it's really incredible for your woman, and that's what you want because then you get pleasure too. Well, first off, you keep a woman happy, your life's going to be happy. You ever heard the phrase, happy wife, happy life? It's true. And no strife.

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Go to Dame Dame products.com slash below deck. After her daily ritual, she wants to enjoy water sports and plenty of margaritas. Emily is delighted to be chartering with some of her best friends. Kyla, a digital marketer who has traveled the globe. Melissa, an account manager for a popular advertising agency who loves, quote unquote, avoiding the general public, end quote, on her vacations and loves a private jet. Anna, a good friend of Emily's from college who works in quality control, who I'm assuming will be a little fish out of water with the wealth that she's going to be around with Emily's actual friends.

Carrie, a dental student who loves anything active and can't wait to have the crew serve her Casamigos on the rocks. Also taking along is Emily's brother, Tommy, who also works in the family business as a realtor. He's a hard man to impress and will expect the crew to be of a high standard. Emily's cousin, Kelly, is a massive foodie who's very particular about what she eats and will expect great things from the galley. Lastly, Emily's boyfriend, Noah, is from an extremely wealthy family who owns their own private jet and helicopter. Noah states, why drive when a helicopter will do?

This charter's top priorities include a bar fully stocked, the water toys readily available and they are looking to have a moroccan themed dinner for with a six to seven course tasting menu i wanted to do more stuff on idaho but this has been going so long and that concludes the preference sheet meeting now i don't want to move past Reagan's incompetence because that is what this show kind of does to you. It'll lull you into, oh, the next thing's coming, though. The next thing's coming. If Reagan is fired before the episode six mark that I set for the over under, she will go down in the history of this franchise as one of the most incompetent people we've ever seen.

I'm going to have to disagree with you, Dill. Our first season, we actually had, with Captain Lee's vessel, a guy named Chandler who was fired, I believe, after the third episode. Incredibly, you remember his name. I said one of, though. Oh, one, you said one. I still actually think he was more...

Competent? Competent may not be the right word, but he at least had a care. He knew what he was doing. He had a care for the position. He wanted to be good. His dad owned a boat. He had ambition.

Reagan wants to drunken dance. She just wants to open up an incense shop. But it's strange because the show just moves on. But in what world can you black out and not just not show up for work, not show up for work when you're in a managerial position? It's not just, oh, I'm not showing up, but I'm a grunt, so you're not going to miss me. No, no, no.

You are the boss of the entire team. So it's really wild. I cannot wait for her to be fired but i am you know concerned about smooth sailing with storm at the helm it's going to be far less boring far more boring excuse me so how ironic smooth sailing with storm at the helm so poetic on to more upstanding employees david and natasha take a little shower together she calls him on the radio and says can we talk things over yeah in the shower for 28 minutes so this is textbook toxic relationship shit uh or yo-yo champion

chipping we should really have a conversation about stuff you know we're two heads of departments on this boat how are we going to navigate that you know where do we stand with one another uh that kind of conversation but nope let's just have a quick fuck in the shower right while we're supposed to be working up the drains and we will we will we will resolve absolutely nothing i don't i don't make up sex i don't know what kind of time you're putting in dill but that was not a quick quickie for me 28 minutes uh fucking breaking records this was that point dylan where you noted that a camera's moving around there you know the big brother thing yeah because behind that camera there are big brothers it's it's todd and josh

todd's like hey how do i push this camera in josh it's so gross who's the um who's the wife of les moonves who hosts big brother oh i can't think of her name julie chen yes julie chen great so the guests arrive more trash promotional shots are poured i do not understand this ethos i don don't get it. It is different. Normally it's just a glass of Voo. Yeah. Peanut butter, jelly and pickle sandwich is also different.

I think one thing below deck we should laud them for is never losing. We're watching these people work on a boat and trash is part of it. Okay. It's, it's, these are pineapple upside down cake shots that you are required to drink. How about you never fucking do this again? And don't tell me what I'm required to do.

Fucking fetch me a glass of Vouv. What the fuck? This is a TGI Friday's promotion. So, Sandy heads down to the kitchen. Or should I say the art exhibit. Pat, take it away. Okay. Time share, finally, in her element.

I've missed her. Yeah. She says she believes that Dave is like no chef that she's ever seen. I mean, when I saw I was preparing, which I don't think anybody ever showed, anybody eating was a carb overdose on a table. But, you know, Sandy disagrees. That's a quiche. That's a pizza. That a table. But Sandy disagrees. That's a quiche. That's a pizza.

That's another quiche and another pizza. Oh, my God. I feel like I'm in the Louvre right now. Maybe he is an artist, as Sandy asserts. Right. Oh, boy. What do you think, Dylan? Did anybody ever eat that meal?

That wasn't what he gave for dinner. No, it was for lunch. And he does this thing at lunch where he hammers people with food. Last week we had sea bass, pasta, like just an insane amount of food. And then dinner will be an amuse-bouche, a small plate of protein, and some delicate dessert. It's very, very confusing, but an artist he is. It's actually starting to snap into focus with me. The candy-flavored shots, all the stuff at lunch, the heavy food.

They're trying to put these people to bed early. Yeah. Make them sick, make them tired. Yeah. It's so what they're trying to do. They are professional sea rats. So he is the most talented chef she has ever worked with. Not saying a lot. One of your chefs was a homophobic spy who dumped canned corn on top of a plate of chips.

I can cover this, Dylan. canned corn on top of a plate of chips i can cover this dylan uh another one uh was uh folding towels uh and and cleaning toilets the day before and decided uh she'd uh make uh her mother's lasagna for people paying sixty thousand dollars a day i think she lasted two charters uh two charters and then we had she lasted an entire season she did oh. Oh, wow. That's insane. I think so. Or did they get Tom in because of her? Oh, no, no, no. That's later when she decided to hire a guy. Kiko.

That's right. Yeah. Vegas Knight, who made microaggression brownies and chicken tenders. And moqueca. And moqueca. So she's great at this. Yeah, she's got a really good picker. So we need to move on.

Did she hire Dushka? Was she Dushka? She said Dushka should come aboard. And after they served that meal, she did a salute to her subordinates and said, we fucking killed it tonight. Yeah, Dushka's meal was really good because it was dry seared pork. A dry pan. And baked oysters. It was dry seared pork. A dry pan.

And baked oysters. I miss Dushka. Yeah, Dushka is really good. My favorite part about Dushka was her not believing in the psyop that was coronavirus. She had a mask on the entire time, but it was varying degrees of not on her face. Also, my favorite part about Dushka. Just a bookend. I'm kidding. It was was not i'm joking oh she hired sniveling matt who faked a leg injury yeah she's got a good picker so we got to move on to a really long meanwhile you guys stop me when you need to meanwhile kyle and natalia have a wonderful moment he says you're gonna work for

me one day she does not take it for what it is a diabolical truth and says something great i just the primary and then i'll tell you what to do i love these two i absolutely love them they're like the uh the candle and the clock from beauty and the beast yes lumiere is this light yeah dave lights uh pearl uh pair of on fire right on the granite and shaves Parmesan ferociously. Then Natasha opens a beer, and the camera pays a lot of attention to the fact that a little bit of foam comes out.

I have no fucking clue why. They're fucking degenerates. It's cum. It's cum. Here's the frat stuff again. i'm no but that is it what what can happen that's it i think so all the little like you know how they'll do that was so dumb i was like why would they pull in on this why have they cut to natasha on four separate occasions in three episodes of her simulating but that's. But that's overt. This was not. I thought that the primary was going to complain

about the foam or something. It's cum. I don't know. Maybe. I think so. I don't know. Bunch of fucking degenerates. You think we're bad?

Hey, talk to Bravo and their editors. They're sick. Kyle gives a beautiful toast to the beginning of the end. Again, crushing it with the charter guests. He's unbelievable. I like Kyle a lot. He has the perfect temperament for this position. But it is like still, I mean, maybe he has 80% advocacy,

but there's going to be some rich people who aren't down with the stick. Right, right, right, right. But I feel like he'll know. Yeah, that's true. He'll turn a completely different face on. He's a very calculated individual. Are you doing our meanwhiles? Because I want to add a meanwhile.

At some point, if you weren't going to mention it, a couple of these charter guests are really starting to get lit up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Noah's a drunk. He's carrying, he's double-fisted. Well, he's 22. Fair enough. And he's on vacation.

You live your best life, buddy. But that other fucking character, he's getting a little too blacked out. I forget what his yeah we'll get to dinner sure sure um that's emily's boyfriend tommy so emily's brother yeah he's talking we also have this c-bob thing which you know does a bear eat things while they're still alive pinned to the ground yeah reagan's terrible at her job uh so speaking of the guests have been waiting one and a half going on two hours for the water toys and i just don't know what there is to say they're from idaho that big water sports town she said after morning routine after magic mind she

wanted the water toys out it was reiterated in the preference sheet meeting. It was a problem last charter. What are we doing, Ray Gunn? What are we doing, Ray Gunn? We're smoking. That's what we're doing. We're smoking and we're trying to find whatever vessel we can pour our elemental energy in to save the universe from Chris Tucker or Gary Oldman. And Sandy comes down and says, we've got to manage the team, right? I just, I don't know when you fire somebody.

And I just am at a loss for words because I feel like I'm going to shit my pants. The devil you know versus the devil you might need to hire on land. Like, it's what's worse worse not having any leader or a partially incompetent one for the time being and then you can at least start making those phone calls as these captains generally do yeah what she should do is the phone call should start happening right right yeah and she what she shouldn't do is go down there and semi kind of berate her although i agreed with her in front of paying guests uh these these uh kids that are on this boat are though privileged are uh i don't know they're like well behaved harmless

and if they would have had someone who was more sober imagine how uncomfortable it would be to see these sea rats like out of breath inflating stuff in front of you walking bumping into each other do that shit in the back i don't know it was weird this is the whole thing is so fucked up trying to figure out that thing to lift up the jet skis was very uh akin to uh what's that ben stiller film where he's a fucking model zoolander yeah that scene where the monkeys are trying to figure out how to turn the computer on yeah that's what it reminded me of it they weren't even monkeys though it was ben stiller and owen but they turned into monkeys. Yeah, they're descending into monkey kind of madness.

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So anyways, Ray Gunn naturally has to blame somebody else. Um, and her and Jason have a bit of a blowout. Um, once again, they do it in front of the guests. I just don't know what the fuck is going on. She is incompetent and I don't know what the fuck's going on there.

Maybe she's not, uh, up for the task, but, you know, Jason, I started liking this guy and then, uh,

he got a little demeaning, uh, cause he was like, stop your bitching. That was demeaning when he said that. Yeah. He has the high ground because his manager is incompetent. And he's taller. Even with the Dave stuff, I feel like he has a chip on his shoulder about it.

He's not causing the fight, but he's kind of being a prick. Did we talk about when Dave apologized to him in the morning? Even that, the way he accepted the apology? He was like, whatever, man. I mean, Dave's like, I was a fucking drunk asshole. Yeah, I mean, I kind of agree with Jason's position. We don't need to do the apology thing. I'll file this away as you're a fucking zombie piece of shit

when you get drunk, and then that's it. Yeah, first impressions are first impressions. First impressions are first impressions. Your eyes were gone. Fair enough. But either way, he's got a chip on his shoulder and though Reagan's incompetent, the way he's reacting is like She's your boss.

What are you doing? Can I do a meanwhile before dinner? Meanwhile, we get another look back at Storm's past. And we meet his mother, Nikki. And finally, I can see why he looks so weird. Okay. I think Storm's a good looking feller.

Maybe in some eyes. Okay, so this is fun what we've done here, right? This is a lot of fun what we've done here. He's weird looking. Yeah, right, right. Do you think he's weird looking? done here right this is a lot of fun what we've done here so we've we've yeah oh right right do you think he's weird looking what we've done here is we have gone back in his checkered history to um admonish his hard-working single mother on her looks because she looks like frodo is that what you you're... He's weird looking, dude.

Okay. I didn't mean any disrespect. Dinner is getting prepped, and it's getting prepped by a fucking daredevil. Someone whose chute could just not open. Someone who could be stuck in an avalanche. And because of that, your preference sheets mean fucking nothing.

$60,000 a day. One of the wildest things i've heard on this show well it's a gamble but that's how i live my life yeah one mile at a time he's regular vin diesel there hey i want to say i want to say this though uh don't i assume you'd probably have brought this up but when the octopus is served it was not on the preference sheet a lot of high praise i i the primary said and i quote it's good but i wouldn't order it again so here's the thing with like allotted here's the thing with uh so when somebody says i don't like seafood, that's pretty finite. And when you are on a charter for three days, maybe two nights or something, there's enough in the culinary rainbow to not serve seafood. No, let's gamble, baby.

Right. If you're with them for 10 days, then maybe go, hey, now that I've served you a bunch of really delicious food on the seventh night, let's try a little bit of octopus. But even that, it's not a gentle enough stepping stone into food from the sea. If you want to start somebody off with a plank of salmon or something, I get that. But octopus is not the... Eat this tentacle. Yeah, it's not the salutation you want to throw in somebody's mouth. But yes, first up is octopus and pea puree.

To no one's surprise, the guest who doesn't like seafood does not like this. But a sweet girl. Sweet girl, yeah. It was good. I wouldn't order it again, though. I mean, the spectrum of reaction to this kind of thing, she is on the, you know, the, I just can't talk tonight, congenial? Is that the right word?

She's like, I thought I chartered a yacht. I'm not on fear factor. Right. So Tommy gets blackout and falls on the floor before the confit pig cheek hits the table. Looked a little under to me, but pig cheek is a little gelatinous i don't know whatever the dessert is a chocolate bomb one of the chocolate bombs um and and here here's what we've got with we don't have a willy wonka kind of confectionist here okay we've got this perfect

sphere and i think what he was going for had the sphere been executed more properly. But the delicate dance is that when the chocolate sauce is poured over, you are the thing is revealed. Right. Not here. Not here. And one of the chocolate bombs he lights with a blowtorch. And there is this kind of third degree burn mark you see at the top, like a meteorite hit it and it's bleeding into the white chocolate cheesecake. The whole thing was a bit of a mess.

32 pounds. Dylan, what you're describing here is a Vegas magic show off the strip for $32. Yes. Those spheres, if they're done correctly, are perforated in a way that a petal form happens. Not just you see the dessert. Something beautiful unfolds like you are in a white chocolate Ferngully. This was just 32 points.

Trash! Yeah. Trash! So Fridays will have this on their menu next month. Right. Oh my God, honey, did you see what he just did there? All right. Vintage. Vintage dinner review right there from dill okay so um moving on z rats on reagan never like a rat but my god must this be done yeah it has to be done well because he's he's not watching all the cameras he's not seeing the edited footage. He may think this might come down and make him look bad.

Right. So he's got to cover his ass. Kyle tells Natalia that her pussy is throbbing. Once again, Jesus Christ with the sexual harassment. And once again, maybe we cut this out. Why are gay people allowed to do this? It's crazy. They're sea rats.

They're all doing it. They're not all doing it. I mean, he's gay, so there's no sexual threat're all doing it they're not all doing it i mean he's gay so there's no sexual threat but i mean my god i guess if she's okay with it she's okay with it but you you say there's no sexual threat but anytime i see this overtness this early we don't know this guy's background what he's been out for what a year i think this could be some type of boat trip s scenario i used to go to the Abbey. Renowned gay bar. Guess what happened to me there? You had sex with women. Yeah. They're like,

oh, you're gay. You're safe. Whatever, you slut. I'm gay. I'm gay. Yeah. I'm gay. And then they just start showing you their boobs for no reason. Do you think my tit job's good? And then what happens? The kids get drunk and start screaming at one another. And then they go to bed and then Sandy talks to Raygun.

All right. Let's get to the next day. Next day. Raygun and Sandy have a bizarre conversation. Sandy says, it's not about what you, excuse me, it's not about where you need to be,

but how you get there. And then says, you need to figure out your own weaknesses. And I would say, let's cut it with the Tony tony robbins kind of rich dad poor dad sayings and just get categorical with it um i need you to do these things each and every day at this time where you're fired uh but that's the problem she's blending professions right now you know she's getting a bit she's right she's a big ticket item now, and she's just fucking pulling lines out of her one-woman show

that she speaks to corporations with. I love that take. It's so fucking true. Eventually, because of Reagan's indecipherable blabbermouth, she turns this back around on her employees, but we just don't know what is going to happen. You know it's a bad episode. I know I said i kind

of like the episode but maybe i didn't the second it ends with a whimper well it's always a bad sign when they start running credits during a scene yeah oh great point oh okay it's the producers going oh fuck it you know what 35 episodes of this thing you know what the antithesis but you do need ebbs and flows to like yeah give more gravitas the antithesis of the credits rolling is the tbc no no is it is is smash cut to black executive producer you know like is that it yeah she was the one banging marcos oh wow don't get us in trouble but but either way bleep it either way smash cut to black, basically, in credits. TBC.

Yeah, see TBC. Yeah, TBC. I said no to TBC. Well, this podcast and this journey is TBC. We'll see you next week. Jump in the iTunes ratings and reviews. Join us on Patreon for an ad-free version of this each and every week. PMZ is there.

APS is there. Listen to The Bachelor. Listen to another podcast show. We've got a ton of stuff happening. Facebook, YouTube. We love you very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. APS is there. Listen to The Bachelor. Listen to another podcast show. We got a ton of stuff happening. Facebook, YouTube. We love you very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Nick, say goodbye.

I'm Voyage. Pat, say goodbye. Permission to leave the boat. Thank you.