Kill James Bond! - Reid: A Total Flirt | Below Deck Med S7 E17

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to break down the art of flirting, an inside woman, how we need sea rat to be said, the guitar documentary It Might Get Loud, chains, concussions, pancakes and even more from Bravo's Below Deck Med. OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING WINTER HOUSE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.com

Tosh and Nat are getting closer. Who cares? Reed and Ellie are getting closer as well. Now, I was ready to blow a lid at these two talking because how could it get more inconsequential, you know? But then Reed says, most of my friends would describe me as flirty. Do you mean weird? Welcome aboard!

Another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys! The happiness of the podcast is over there behind my glasses permission to come aboard granted two below deck shows a week now two black uh you know it's our first show of the day and i just jumped out my tongue didn't work and that is not a good sign but yeah you're a hundred percent right let's just do public service announcements below deck adventure hath arrived it's behind a paywall technically because it's airing on peacock but we're allowing you to listen to us talk about it for free oh good point

it's on bravo is it yeah yeah comes out it comes on peacock on wednesdays but yeah airing on tuesday nights why is my recorder not recording it it records uh below deck airings at three in the morning because it's a different show you've already said it to record below decks but not below deck and look at that now we're done with errors and omissions because we had to correct that huge error you just made well anyway it's two free shows a week so uh pay us some way uh tonight's one of those 75 ad nights so ad free shows patreon.com slash another podcast network 10 bucks no ads at all we do funny ads but i get it if you don't want to hear ads patreon i may not know what i'm talking about here too but if you listen to podcasts on apple podcasts on your iphone there's a little thing if you scroll down where you can

click subscribe and you don't have to sign up for that overly complicated patreon and you can get uh all the stuff we do on patreon is that correct nick yes and it's working it's working so do it so you know what you want to hear I think we do like fucking 30 shows a month and most of them are behind a paywall, either subscription on Apple podcasts or Patreon. Why don't you just click that button right now? It's so easy. Apple just charges you five bucks a month. You don't even have to think about it. Do it right now. And not to confuse you, but I will say your best value still at patreon.com slash another podcast network because you can't tier on Apple Podcasts.

So PMZ, not available. I can't give away PMZ for $7. No, you can't. No, of course not. You guys sign up at patreon.com slash another podcast network. $10 tier. You get PMZ in every single show we do all in one feed. There's a lot of stuff going on.

Pay attention. Click the right buttons. We love you very much. Join us on Facebook. I got to say, Facebook fans facebook fans facebook community let's get it going a little bit okay people are posting stuff and people need support when they post yeah someone puts their neck out there and they post something and then it gets three likes that's not okay if you're a member of this community be a member of the community okay we need to raise the village

together some idiot in there doesn't even listen to the podcast are you talking about the gray man i don't know someone said uh something like and they're like there doesn't even listen to the podcast. Are you talking about the gray man? I don't know. Someone said something like, and they're like, hey, do you even listen to the podcast? You're talking about Robert Brown, the gray man. He's never listened to a second of the show, I don't think. He had the dumbest post today. I don't want to talk about the gray man. All right.

So I do want to talk about, quit telling on other people. No one likes a tattletale. I'm getting all these reports for very innocuous comments. People are bullying each other. Stop it, Mel. Stop it. Let's get into Thoughts and Pots. It's episode

17. And I would like to go first. Okay. And I would like to ask this question to kick things off. Are we done yet? I mean, my God, are we done yet? We've got some, some Ruski hopping on board.

She's going to go out to dinner and make the familial thing awkward. And then the season's going to end with a whimper. Storm's going to trip and fall and scrape his knee or something. And then we're going to be done. Let's shorten this shit up. Okay. With that being said i thought it was a lot of fun seeing jordan reed who can't stay on the field loose a hundred thousand dollar chain we'll get into it i don't want to get into specifics in my thoughts and pots but for the death rattle that it was i thought it was okay four pots nick would you like to go times 10 40 pots are you or me no you go okay i'm gonna mirror dylan's thoughts uh somewhat uh it is time to take

this uh season around the back of the barn and put two bullets in its head why do you need two uh just it's the kill shot because the person's still moaning the kill shot no no the person's moaning after you shot like oh you shot me and they're moaning and then you gotta uh walk up to them close range and then take them out in the head oh so you put them down you take people behind the barn the show i'm talking about oh god okay and after you get that first needs to be killed i i liked that right right that felt good yeah so all. But I will say having... All right, let me be consistent here. You pay $60,000 a day.

You can have your pancakes any way you want. You can eat them for breakfast, dinner, maybe a fourth meal like Taco Bell. I don't give a shit. But I still think you're obnoxious. That was kind of fun. Having obnoxious guests. There's some dude there.

I can't think of his name, but he's the guy that echoes things because he is kissing the ass of the more famous people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. uh there's some dude there i can't think of his name but he's the guy that uh echoes things because he uh is kissing the ass of the more famous people yeah yeah yeah that thing was worth a house oh thank you sir thank you not my fucking problem i didn't go out on a skidoo with a fucking hundred thousand dollar chain that's a you problem sir yeah anyway so that was kind of fun getting that chain back uh no you are not so the guests are fun um some i mean they spent 10 minutes on a noodle going through a nostril that was annoying uh but it's it's time to end and i believe next week they

told us that it is the final episode yeah and then we get uh two zoom shows oh boy i think just one uh and natasha and jason zero knots both didn't show up. Natasha, if you're listening, and we don't. Probably not. Probably not, but if you are, and we don't want to use this platform to bully people, but you suck. You didn't even show up to the Zoom reunion because the questions were going to be too hot.

You are Ursula in human form. That is awful. Cowardly awful. Nate, go ahead. Yeah, let's end it. Things going way too long. The highlight of the episode was unfortunately the chain

and the pancakes. That shouldn't be the best part of the episode. Oh, and like a five minute little jackass thing with the noodle up their nose, which anybody can do if you commit to it. Everybody just knows it's really gross. You do it with vomit every time you throw up like twice a year you know it comes out of your nose and your mouth exactly your eye your even comes out of your eye yeah yeah it's never happened to

me but uh and then uh and that one guy can do it way easier because he probably has a coke problem so it's super super i thought you were gonna say that he walrus's cock and it was gonna be i don't know why i said that I don't know why I said that. I don't know why I said that. I don't know the term walrus. Not going to ask. 64 knots. So we begin with some real Sea Rat shenanigans.

Reed going hard-o into the water and Dave shoving his face and head into scalding hot water. I mean, we need to go back down the fucking river. These people are losing their goddamn minds, okay? That would have happened regardless, though. What is important is that we've got a very special segment to get to. It is the last one of

the year. It is time for The Preference Shape Meeting! Errors and omissions. Not the last of the year. The last of the season. Right. We're going to do another one today.

That's the last of the year, though. That's a a great point and remember and just because it is the last one doesn't mean you have to skimp out on me which they did oh my god did that i mean uh i did it has to be colored with nfl statistics i'm assuming the guests want really fun days with lots of water toys. Whoever puts on their preference sheet, no water toys. No outside, no water toys, and don't serve us food. Preference sheet meeting, charter number nine, final charter. Co-primaries Josh Joseph and his daughter Sydney Joseph co-founded an investment company with office spaces that spread across Nashville, Chicago, and New York.

They are looking to impress their business partners with a memorable experience on the water. Also joining them will be Josh's younger daughter, Sophie, and also business partners Ashley and Michael, a.k.a. Mook, and other business partners and NFL players, former NFL players, which was an important distinction that they didn't make. Try to act like they're in the league. Dominic Eastley and Jordan Reed.

Dominic, who hasn't played since 2018, and Jordan Reed, who- Couldn't stay on the field. Hasn't played since 2020, if you want to call that for the Niners. But yeah, the man is one of the most talented, physically gifted tight ends to ever- Couldn't stay on the field. Play the game. Could not. He made it to the big game, though uh no he was he was on the he was on the formerly known as the rs's he's

he was on the washington commanders but i think he's saying when he was on the on the niners yeah he's on the niners he played kansas city in 2018 right uh well that was the he was on them in 2020 uh sorry it's okay i think we got to clarify this because i think everybody listening is a huge He was on them in 2020. Sorry. It's okay. I think we've got to clarify this because I think everybody listening is a huge... Our largely female audience are just kicking themselves right now. They're like, how do you guys not understand this? He was lined up in the big game, 2020, with the 49ers. We'll get confirmation on that by the end of the episode,

except we may not because I'm on 3% battery on my phone. Oh, boy. Golly Whittle will let us know in the comments. Yeah, let us know. Maybe Robert Brown will. Yeah, the gray man. He loves Jordan Reed. But, yeah, Jordan never started more than eight games in a season.

His entire life couldn't stay on the field. He just couldn't do it. He did have 950 yards and 80-some receptions that season, 11 touchdowns. I'm telling you, he's wasted talent. What a talent. He just couldn't stay on the field. And then, of course, Dominic likes pancakes. For dinner, they request surf and turf,

a celebration with steak and lobster, a little bit redundant. They request a classic take on a Las Vegas casino party, which you know means dust off the dominoes. Well, where's Kiko, man? He'd make that happen. Fried fish. He's like, I know what that means. And where's Magda?

Because evidently, or Elena, what is it with foreigners not understanding what a Las Vegas thing is? They all think it has to do with James Bond. It's not the same thing. I thought only foreigners go to Las Vegas. It's just really confusing. And when I say foreigners, I'm not doing derogatory. It's a white foreigner.

We're, of course, talking about New Steel. I was being xenophobic. Oh, I was saying xenophobic. Yeah. But still, it was against white people. Very terrified of people who are not from the United States. Terrified. But was against white people. Very terrified of people who are not from the United States. Terrified. But only the white ones.

Everybody else is cool, and I welcome them with open arms. The guests will arrive on Anchor due to, it said, potential weather. I think you mean potential bad weather. Yeah, unless the world ends, there's going to be some type of weather. It's called the weather. Yeah. Sunny in 70? Yes.

Still weather. What was okay is that oh you know is that trump yes oh we're gonna have a lot of jews i thought that was it's called the weather uh uh yeah they're founders of an investment company the things and they're looking and he could not stay on the field and that concludes the preference he couldn't stay on the field so um let's move on to more things that happened in the show oh also or anything that really strong strong way to wrap it up i thought that was a good preference sheet yeah good job good job thanks thanks yeah hey uh can i do a meanwhile of course storm doesn't want to lose nat in eight weeks of blue ball she served him i'd say i couldn't I couldn't

wait to get away from her is fucking Christ that farm like like Jordan Reed yeah good stuff storm says Liverpool for life she'll never walk alone you in store you're like shut up, for the final time. Shut up, Storm. Man, you fan over here, Dillmeister. Sold Sadio Mane. Now you guys suck. So the girls talk about the next stew.

There are pizza crusts everywhere. I want to get like, I mean, it wouldn't be good television, but if we could get a real world cam on them feasting, I think it would be, you know, because they work really hard. When you're hungry, you sit down at a table. I mean, those pizza crusts were everywhere. So Norman's his mommy too. Probably the biggest twist we've ever had on the show.

Natalia asked Storm to feel her boobs. What the fuck is going on here? He is progressing. It's very confusing i mean that's girls got to throw him a bone girls who like aren't gonna late like they have no qual you could touch their boot that's nothing to them oh yeah like that's how they thursday in college and they let girls do it too yeah that's how they get you away from them like and gay guys remember yeah we've talked about it quite a lot this season uh so speaking of what the fuck just even though

i scoffed at it it turned me on quite a bit okay so speaking of what the fuck is going on does kyle text dave that he feels like he's lost his soulmate yeah there's this is are you on pills yeah he says i feel like i was robbed by my soulmate there is something between these two people that's not explained but i'm happy for both of them yeah yeah go ahead dangerous dave so we have to get to the next day, but before we do, let's take a quick break to talk about these wonderful sponsors. Hey. Can you name the four best dishes to order at a Mexican restaurant

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And a quick personal experience for me, I don't have one, but I do know that Pat is less closer to slaughtering his entire family by having Green Chef in the house and not going to Wabo Cabo Cantina and ordering Cherie's very, very confusing meals. So guys, all of this stuff sounds good, right? Go to greenchef.com slash below deck 599 and use promo code below deck 599 to get 599 per meal on your first box and your first box ships free. Go to greenchef.com slash below deck 599 and use code below deck 599 to get $5.99 per meal on your first box and your first box ships free. Green Chef is the number one meal kit for eating well. So we prepare for the arrival of the new stew, Ellie.

Now listen, this is useless. Like I said, we've got an Eastern European Delaney on. She seems like she's really nice, but she'll be on for 48 hours. Again, it just kind of ruins the vibes of the final gathering when you have this interloper who you don't really know. Now Reed would ruin the vibes anyways because he's Reed. He's an interloper too because no one knows who he is. He's only been ruin the vibes anyways because he's Reed. Yes. He's an LL per two because no one knows who he is.

He's only been here, what, a week? Yeah, exactly. So I guess she's just adding more fuel to the fire. Hey, Nick, did you talk to her? Yeah, yeah. I saw that, you know, you send screenshots of conversations with these sea rats,

and I'm trying, she said that she was going to say that she wanted to sleep on an air mattress in the laundry room or something can you can you get some clarity of that yeah so she's been a fan of us uh for a while ellie yeah ellie oh i'm sorry i called you a ruski who was gonna make things awkward ellie no we love you no sorry you got to we can't even she's not even russian sorry go ahead we can't let our personal relationships color how we talk about these people. I've already decided it's going to affect me greatly.

So I didn't know if I should dive in, but she likes us. She's a fan of King and the Sting too. She even sent in a submission video to King and the Sting last year wearing her famous Playboy punny costume. Oh, wow. But she didn't spill the beans that she had just gotten back from filming these couple episodes. And when she did spill it on Monday, she was like surprised because Barry showed her picture

in the polo. I was like, oh my God, you have to sneak in our catchphrases for pickups. And she's like, I already did all the pickups, but I did, however, say, and this will be the second time Pat's line has been said on to andy uh watch what crap yeah uh this is on the reunion but yeah to andy cohen that uh they said are you sad you had such a short time and she said uh yes i was but i still would have pulled an air mattress in the laundry room uh just to stay on there it's so weird because i know he's so proud of himself like you can see the fucking shit eating grinning how could you not be twice

but it's such a it's such a great idea it's such a i i don't think it's such a throwaway line like you have you have great lines for that to be the one that people have used twice is yeah i'm still pretty proud of myself i can see it and feel it and smell it it's it's probably just easier to sneak in than i don't know like the flying nun or whatever the fuck he's talking about someone needs to use the term sea rats hey future sea rats i'm sorry we're getting way too uh in inside here yeah uh and self-gratifying someday you'll be a sea rat i'm speaking to you you have applied uh you've done uh two year uh two months of marine school or whatever and you're hot and you will be on this

boat please for old patty's sake use the term sea rat in one of the interviews and uh we will reward you somehow i don't know how and i just tap pat on the back he'll get your margarita there you go and in the moment it'll turn you a margarita. There you go. And in the moment, it'll turn into a Corona light like that. That's impressive. She did give me just some inside info as I was watching the episode. I just asked her questions. She said she wished she would have been there longer

because she had her eye on Dave. She would have been all over that. Dave! Oh, fuck! And then Reed kind of talked about... How he's a flirt? Yeah. Which is... Yeah. She said then Reed kind of talked about. How he's a flirt? Yeah. Which is.

Yeah. She said he's kind of cute. She had a connection with him, but she's more of a take home to mommy kind of guy than a one night, a hot one night stand. Sorry, Reed. And then also about walking into the glass door. She said. Oh, and she also worked on ari manuel's boat uh yeah cool yeah she just walked into the thing she could figure out she probably saw some child sacrifice

on that boat we should uh so anyways uh i couldn't help but think if kyle just had a little bit more erv in him you know this whole thing could have been avoided you know and we don't want it to be avoided because we love ali so much because she's such a fan but if kyle just had a little bit more big irv in him you know sit down do the laundry and you know collect your tips okay so natalia with a little violence she says that ellie looks like a fashion show but she needs to learn that she's gonna do laundry nat don't tear other women down. The patriarchy is strong enough. We don't need you knocking down fellow women. It's absolutely revolting.

I totally agree. Yeah. It's necessary to be able to understand laundry. But I understand Nat's side. It's like giving up a child, you know? Yeah. Giving up laundry, dude. Being locked in a four-by-four room, folding clothes.

Yeah, yeah. King Solomon kind of shit so um ellie seems very very intelligent she speaks like 17 languages you were watching somebody feed phil there's like a chilean woman who spoke perfect english we're so fucking dumb here we're so dumb here like everyone that everyone speaks english and at least one other language i feel like everywhere else can I tell you something? So when I went to Thailand like four years ago, there were some people from England on this day tour that we did. And they were a nice gay couple.

And they were very concerned about Trump and stuff. They were asking questions. They'd never been to America. And they wanted to understand what was up. And I just said it simply. I said, we're dumb. We're all dumb. We're stupid.

We don't know anything. And we're all like, we're stupid yeah we don't know anything and we're we're all like i know people don't have a lot of money in their bank account when that's very very sad but there is this attitude of ah fuck it let's see what happens yeah you know we're bored so um i don't know why she's at on this boat and not at the un it's confusing uh so meanwhile meanwhile court Courtney reminds Z that he's a midget. Dagger. God, that was me.

Storm heads off on a life-saving mission to go rescue some provisions. And Dave reminds Tosh that it's National Mental Health Day and that Tosh won't see his post because she blocked him on IG. To honor National Mental Health Day. Yeah. Yeah. He does something insane. day and that tosh won't see his post because she blocked him on ig to honor national mental health

day yeah uh yeah he uh he does something insane yeah seems like it's not taking dave what is there to say my god i it's like he if you go back and listen to the interview that we did with him he acknowledges uh as we were watching he he was right on the prepice of being in the clear, but he knew there would be several more episodes of him leaning back into being a psychopath. He mentioned that. Our timing just did not work out. We had him at his zenith, his comeback.

That's the word I was searching for, too. Right, right. So provisions arrive. Lamb kofta is prepared, and so is Natasha's Jolly Rancher introductory drinks. These are called Lucky Charms. Welcome aboard. So, the Washington Commander's former star who couldn't stay in the field arrives.

The other one's Dominique Wilkins? What's his name? Steele. Dominique Steele. Or Steely. He's the one with the pancake problem. What was he? Huh?

TV? I don't know. He's pretty one with the pancake problem. What was he? Huh? TV? I don't know. He's pretty big. Yeah. So, Eastley. Eastley, I'm sorry. Dominic Eastley. Dominic Steele, I believe, was a U.S. gymnast.

Okay, sounds like a porn star. This guy's a real dickbag, isn't he? He says, I eat pancakes all day. Okay. Any flavor? No, just a certain kind of way. Do you care to illuminate on how you want the pancakes cooked, or do you just want to see how many plates you can throw on the ground

or overboard before we get it right? CTE makes people rude, man. Can I tell you what i thought this move was okay i thought this was like a uh a quality standard kind of uh tactic so you need to perform the pancakes correctly and that way i will evaluate how the rest of the boat services i'll give an example yeah van halen the famous story where they'd order the m&ms and they'd say they don't want any brown ones yeah so when they showed up to the fucking venue and there was a bowl of m&ms and had brown ones in there they knew that the speakers could fall on their heads during the show right and that's why they put dave chang's dad they want to they want an environment of excellence

yes yes and so they knew they didn't read the writer properly and someone could be uh killed during the concert. Right. So that's what happened. So that might be kind of a big leap. I thought that's what Don was doing. Look, if you can't pull off pancakes,

then this boat could sink because no one's paying attention. Quick Dilley's pick. There's a documentary called it might get loud. Have you ever heard of it? Oh, is this with the three guitar players? Jimmy page, Jimmy,

Jack white edge. Yeah. Jack white didn't belong there at that no he did and that's an ignorant comment uh jimmy page and the edge uh seem to disagree with you and they're jimmy page and the edge but they um the edge is talking about i like how i've been playing guitar for 35 years and dylan gets to just go no i disagree at that point in his career jack white had not completed what you need to be as far as at that level well he was the padawan he was obviously the most inexperienced among them so

you have two old guys that are the same generation then you have the young guy well it teared off it's like a russian nesting doll i mean obviously jimmy was the oldest then you got the edge i mean people would argue that the edge doesn't belong to be there he's not the most profound technical guitar player but he just knows how to make things sound yummy he does you know arena rock great scene in that uh doc so many great scenes and we'll get back to this you gotta see this document they're starting to harmonize or something and jimmy page goes uh i don't sing hey but there was a scene in it where the edge was talking about spinal tap and he said I did not laugh when I saw Spinal Tap. I wept because of how accurate it was.

Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, and just a little tease. Go to PMZ. I'm going to do a little bit on him where he, in 1970, convinced parents of a 14-year-old to allow him to take custody of her as her custodian so that he could have sex with her and take her across state lines that's a tease for pmz jerry lee lewis died so i'm gonna go through all the scumbags rock and roll guys that did horrific things in the 60s 70s and 80s that we just blindly pass by and go he's

a genius what are you gonna do let's give him a residency in vegas sounds like a really dark segment oh no i'll make it funny. Okay. Let's move on to lunch. It is salmon and a very ornate smoked sweet potato. We also have pickled courgette, which is a fancy word for zucchini. There are a lot of these in cookery. It fools the tongue blind.

Ondive sounds better than endive. Aubergine sounds better than endive. Aubergine sounds better than eggplant. Tomato, tomato. This will work on the pancake eater, but not on me. Not on me, Dave. We can see what you're doing. You know, you chuck some Zucca vinegar.

That's it. Get out of here with your courgette. All right. Lamb kofta rounds it out. A young, inedible animal. 83 pots. How do you guys feel about lamb? You go down on lamb? I'm down for lamb. A young, inedible animal. 83 pots. How do you guys feel about lamb? Do you go down on lamb?

I'm down for lamb. I'm also down for veal, although I don't like how the veal is prepared for our consumption. It's rather cruel. Right, right. Much like goose liver. Yeah. What do you call that? A foie gras.

A foie gras. What's cruel about veal? How they put it in a little tiny box for six months and then slid it in its throat? You normally feed it milk. Yeah. Have you ever had veal par How they put it in a little tiny box for six months and then slit its throat? Yeah. Have you ever had veal parmesan from a good Italian place? I have never had veal. I'll never eat veal.

Because of the cruelty to the animal. Yeah. Well, I've sworn it off, too. I've also grown as a human being, and I eat eggplant parmesan. It's just as tasty. Yeah. I got to stop eating so much meat, but I also don't want to fall into the trap of Klaus Schwab and the World Economic Forum and start eating chitin, but it's pretty horrific.

Dylan, actually, I'd say that 80% of my meals now are Burger King, the Impossible Burger, and Carl's Jr., the Beyond Burger. I don't know why. It tastes just like meat, dude. Come on, man. Join it. It's not better for you and probably more expensive. Well, it's less animals that have to be slaughtered. I don think i don't think the price is that big burger king or you're concerned but

you're still giving money to the the sauron's eye that's doing all the killing that's true well it's the little things that i can do i'll say this in 100 years i heard this uh many times by many podcasters yeah our grandchildren will think we were monsters right yeah no enjoy it and you'll go shut up go be pansexual in the living room get out of here do they think lions and other predators are are monsters right that's the circle of life it's out from dust you came and from dust you shall return dude lions would roll up in a prius to a mcdonald's and get a number two if they could? They would. Yeah. Can you imagine that? That woman behind the speaker box? That's a lion.

Would you like a combo? Roller. Hey. No, no, no. No, no. Where was that going? I was going to say, mostly when you're talking on those speaker systems out here, there's a language issue.

It'd be more. Stop. Stop it. So let's move on. on hold on speaking of animals uh one of the guests is prying uh and uh nat's being pretty negative because they talk about koala bears because i guess uh natalia's from uh yeah australia and she said she uh banged a koala bear one time he gave her chlamydia no that's she fucking hates those animals that's not what she said man i'm sorry the koala bear gang uh banged

her that's not let's move on to more natasha talking about you guys know that chlamydia thing though that they did i don't think that that's an accurate yeah it is yeah it's all half chlamydia it's just it's very very very common like 80 or something it's a real yeah i fact checked it a couple times they are so cute even the day before i saw this episode, I had said that to someone, and then I saw it, and I'm like, oh my God, baited mine off. Yeah, did you know that wasps make figs? One of the more tail between my legs

moment of my life. What? Speak. But there's not wasps in figs, which was really what you were arguing against. I was arguing against the entire process. It was this necrotic thing, but nature is a rainbow.

A lot of possibilities out there there but tail between my legs that creepy douchebag was right so natasha is talking about how sick it is to feel alone and how she needs to balance the choice of working on herself by herself or being codependent on a clinically insane person with a shared party house. Which I can't do it anymore with you talking about your stupid boy troubles. Just shut the fuck up. Dylan, let me put this in perspective. Oh my God.

We all know we've been friends with people that are having boy or girl troubles with the ex. And we all know we just like to shake them and go, what are you doing? Right. And we're all annoyed by our friends that have sat us down on the couch. Too many wine nights where they come over and start whining while we're trying to enjoy our good lives about that fucking person they're in and out of a relationship with and we know we keep telling them and then we finally give up and wave the white flag and go i don't give a

fuck anymore right and then we get annoyed by it well guess what our situation as podcasters is yeah is we have to watch her do it on tv yeah yeah yeah which is more annoying she's not even my friend no yeah no this is done without our consent. Tosh, you got to break up, and you got to go to some love addiction therapy. You're in toxic relationships time after time. Time after time. I would say drop this guy and get into a relationship as soon as humanly possible.

Yeah, me too, but find a good guy. So she luckily does tell him to stop texting her via- Yes, telling him to stop via a voice memo. Uh, Nick is a massive fan of those. Oh yeah. Uh, I've been talking with this one girl and she sends them and I like her voice,

but I, I have yet to send her my tweet that says, if you send me a voice memo, that's you saying you think your time is more important than mine. I hate those. You can't, the biggest problem is you can't scrub the playhead. So if you miss something, you have to start over.

I was in a fight with someone one time, and that's how we were communicating, and it drove me mad. It's absurd. Get loom if that's what you want to do. Loom is awesome. You can go two times, three times. Very compressed.

Great audio. So then Dave, on a mental health day, or on mental health day, mishears what she says and is sent into another one of his tailspins. Takes two to tango. These two are both the one side of the coin of this annoying, like you mentioned, everybody's drinking wine, and then somebody comes over and throws an H in it and it just ruins everybody's time. So, Dave, nice guy, but enough of these two.

If they're on TV together again, it'll be like casting Zach as The Bachelor. Just don't fucking do it. Nobody wants to watch this. We won't. Ellie headbutts the glass and then we move on. But before we get there, we have to take a quick break to talk about these wonderful sponsors. Our next partner has a product that I use every single day. I started taking AG1 because it is a little cold out. It's a little chilly out. And in these winter months, you really,

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and there's this conversation that takes place where the guy goes, I just wanted to check in on what the theme of the evening was. Oh, it's the Vegas theme. That's right. Why is this conversation happening with adults who are on vacation? Here is a thought. Have no themes. Why is this conversation happening with adults who are on vacation? Here is a thought. Have no themes.

Sit down at two dinners just in regular nice clothes. Don't have a theme every night, right? Because that's fucking weird. I really agree with you, Dylan. Especially how poorly these parties are put on. I've joked about it before, but it is in fact true. The decorations look like they were bought from the 99 cent store or Best Big Lots. Unless Bugsy's involved.

Or yes, she does amazing tablescapes. The art of tablescaping. Sure. But most of the time, it just looks like a cheap birthday party that someone threw together in an hour and a half sure and it looks tacky and cheap yeah and no more white parties either i don't even know where they come from or what they mean cut it out guys and somewhat on the same token how is this fun fun for these two former NFL players who have probably seen some of the craziest wild yacht parties? Can you imagine those strip clubs?

Why would they want to go with this family? I don't understand that. Okay, they drink a lot, but I also might be mixing up the two charter guests, which is going to be a problem this year. Yeah, yeah. It was the other people that drink a lot. Never mind. The other people drink an ungodly amount. Yeah, it just wouldn't be fun for jordan and dominique um well you

couldn't stay on the field so you know things aren't quite as exciting now uh but they don't look like they're having a fun time so dominique uh shit easily uh then asks dave about the pancakes and it's one of the more threatening requests for the breakfast cakes I've ever seen. It has the vibe of bringing an unruly hostage to heel. Like, he's just very, he's standing over him. There's a very intense amount of eye contact. And he's, I guess it's not his fault because he's so big,

but I just think this guy stinks. Yeah, but you know, you got to get what you pay for, $60,000 a day. You just can't be a dick about it, Dominique. Right, right, right. So next up, Ellie recounts a gloomy, or excuse me, a Clooney and Wahlberg type tale. Oh, yes, perfect storm.

But right next to the shore, I believe. Yeah, she says she was in the middle of a horrible storm and what? She was in the middle of a horrible storm and what she was in the middle of a horrible storm a life-threatening one and it seemed really really scary until we saw the footage and i was like that looks pretty glacial this is this is one of the things that i'd not talk to her i would have really ripped apart because of how silly and melodramatic it is but since i i have talked to her i'm not going to do that because i don't want to make it to be feel bad i don't want to diminish

someone's tragic tale. You know, we all try and, what do you call it? Empathize? No, I was exaggerating how deadly it was or whatever. There was this, you know, back in the early 1900s, there were all these daredevils. They were on these ships. One guy with a crew goes up to Alaska.

The boat gets frozen in the ice up there. I'm sorry, not alaska fucking the arctic in arctica yeah did you ever hear this story they lived north what's south i don't know i'm sorry arctic is north antarctica is south okay and they had to fucking chisel that boat out of there it took them almost a year it was absolutely insane now that's a tale that i would be uh you know i feel bad yeah they had to eat each other yeah Yeah, but Ellie's, I didn't. Yeah. But I think she's a beautiful soul

because she was concerned about how her parents would handle her death. And then they had a bunch of pictures of her and one of her as a brunette. And I was like, way hotter as a brunette. Okay, thank you, Pat. So dinner is served. It's going to be served for turkey.

You know, if you're going to get through something, you need to slow down to do it. All right. Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast. Dinner is going to be served and turf and pancakes. Dave makes a fatal error here, though. Look at the man who has requested the pancakes.

He could kill you with one arm. What kind of football does he play? American football? Do not make clips. It's just a bad move. He did say thin. He said crispy edges. He said crispy edges.

It's just, listen. Clarify so you don't make this mistake. Clarify, and I do think it's's got it's a little bit of a microaggression yeah that he's assuming this guy doesn't know what crepes are right i bet he didn't exactly know what crepes are yeah but if dave would have said oh you mean crepes he would have been like no i'm not a crepes guy right he said that later think zucchini not courgette think zucchini not courgette exactly uh but we'll get get there later. So Jordan Reed is a fucking idiot. He goes out and participates in one of the most fun

and violent water activities ever, that is inner tubing. And obviously loses the $100,000 chain that is on his neck. We'll get to that in one second. But when we, when they are tired, you mentioned how thrilling inner tubing can be on a boat, especially if a crazy driver, even though it is fun for a short time,

I honestly really never enjoyed myself when that happened because it becomes this competitive thing where you have to go the hardest and that thing flipping and you skimming across the water like a rock at 60 miles an hour yeah that's the only way it ends yeah i when we were at houseboats i we were getting closer with the people that were driving the boat so he let me do it and he like taught me how to hit a right turn really hard once you've gotten the the water patterns going and our friends chelsea and tiffany were on and i took a right turn they like really good skipping rock skippers that can get like 14 15 they bounced off the water six times what lake was this i think it was like havasu or shasta or something yeah like have a screw um but they were hurt like they were not doing well

it is not you can get really fucked up oh you come with uh with the same speed it's like hitting concrete break your fucking neck and then and then your next day i don't know about you guys but my forearms are so sore i can't even crack a soda because you're grabbing on so hard all you can do is nurse your concussion and play settlers of katan for 18 hours so tosh and nat are getting closer who cares reed and ellie are getting closer as well now i was ready to blow a lid at these two talking because how could it get more inconsequential you know but then reed says most of my friends would describe me as flirty do you mean weird so court breaks the news to jordan reed who mean, the guy just couldn't stay on the fucking field. And he says, damn, life happens.

You lose six figure chains. I think somebody else. No, that was the same annoying friend that earlier had said, and I quote, that's the cost of a house, that chain. Oh, thank you, friend. quote, that's the cost of a house, that chain. Oh, thank you, friend. But also there is, someone says like this life happens thing, and it's like, yeah, life happens, but, you know,

and I've done stupid things too. You don't leave your laptop on your passenger seat. Somebody will break in and steal it, right? The profound stupidity of going on the water with that around your neck is just mind-boggling. Dylan, let me give you some enjoyment, though. The phone call to the insurance company, that should be recorded

so we can hear the adjuster hear that. I'm sorry, sir. Did you say that you were doing water sports? Right. Yeah. Good J. Reid. Did you say that you were doing water sports? Right. Yeah. Good J. Reid. Yeah.

And that's when you, in fact, lost the $100,000 chain? Yeah. You're fucked. You're an imbecile. Yeah. We're not paying that. His career earnings, I think, were like around $30 million. Any good pencil-pushing Jewishpa will tell you or you know

business advisor you have the money to buy that you don't have the money to be that reckless with it right it's just you know it's stupid i'll give a line from ballers you know i hate the rock but he plays an agent on that show he tells all of his clients and i always love the line he says if it fucks floats or, or flies, lease it. Don't buy it. Right. He didn't put chains in there. Yeah.

Did Doug Allen write that one? Probably. Oh, no. I'm not allowed in Hollywood. People hate me. I can't sell this piece of shit. Ramble on. I like that line.

Say it again. If it fucks, flies, or floats, lease it. Yeah. Rent it. Evidently, the chain doesn't do any three of those things. It kind of fucked them. Yeah it did. So let's get to the evening times but before we do

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Turn it all good. Okay, bye. All right, it's Vegas night! Woo! What is for Vegas night? I don't know, like chicken tenders? Brand? Chicken tenders. So,

Gordon and Ellie are in Playboy costumes. Ellie asks Reed to cut her tail. He obliges and then says roll tide. Oh, man. So flirty. What a flirt. So flirty.

So flirty. So dinner hits the table and so do the pancakes. I don't want fucking crepes. I want pancakes. By the way, this is Ellie. Hey, Ellie, she came in today before we were recording. Your daughter. Yeah, my daughter.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. The strawberry shortcake. Strawberry. I go, Ellie, I got a caramel ice cream. Don't want it. That's what she fucking says. That's what this idiot sounded like.

Don't want it. Well, he goes, I want fucking pancakes. And they go, are you upset? He goes, no, I'm not upset. He was cool about it, all joking aside. The peak of Dave's insanity is on display here. And I mean, Dave's done some crazy shit. This made me almost blow a gasket.

They fucked up the pancakes. This guy is not only a paying guest guest but could rip you in half if push came to shove and you're letting natasha flip the redo batch that was crazy like still trying to flirt dude you don't have time you've made a mistake already you're trying to write this wrong and you're letting natasha work on her wrist technique it was oh my god it harkened me back to uh patrick swayze and demi more and ghost uh molding that pottery thing except there's a paying customer in the other room this is not the moment to bond right this is a moment in damage control you dumbass and i love you dangerous day but jesus fucking christ and if it was like that

if on the first go around you fucked up their ashtray yeah like like you know i understand why you went to ghost but it was quite a leap you know actually very different from this food together you know i was gonna say making love i was gonna say that conjured that image for all of us so i actually think you're the crazy one. I exactly like it, Dylan. He makes thicker pancakes and Tasha flips it. Seabass and slow roasted short rib with lobster is for dinner. It is surf and turf, but that is what you need to do for the people that pay for these vacations.

We find out that one of the friends can snort a noodle. So Dominic asks for spaghetti. Now Dave. Oh, his name's Tyler. Dave says, oh, great. The guy that wants pancakes wants something else. Dave. Dave.

Boil spaghetti. Chill out, dude. You are not having a good time as we wrap up this season. I'm sorry to say. He was, though, of course, as we're seeing in a dark place still because of natasha ellie even said uh at one point she tried to uh our inside source our deep our yeah she was uh she was trying to be flirty with dave but he was actually kind of rude to her most of her time on on board the boat uh one time in the morning she went up and gave him a hug in front of Natasha. And Dave goes, you scratched my neck. And then another time.

Oh, my God, Dave. On day two, she complimented his cooking. And he goes, you've known me for two days. How would you know if I'm a good chef or not? Dave. Well, he was pussified. He was pussy. There's no excuse for that.

Why do you keep saying pussy? Because he can't find the word. He wants to find the opposite of dickmatized. She's pussified. He was rutting. And there's honestly no excuse to let yourself get to that place. Listen, I've been there, but my version of this is putting on Edge of Desire, one of John Mayer's newer hits, and crying in my bedroom. You know, I'm not rude to people.

I'll have to check that out. It is. It's got a new record out. No, it was from 2008, and I'm not proud that I loved that album. I love John Mayer. Yeah, I know he's good, but, you know. He should have been in that documentary.

Yeah. He's good. Yeah. Okay. Everybody says he's really good. I't know anything he can play listen to screwdriver jack white recorded that when he was 23 i'm a huge jack white fan i'm the one that told you when you went to go see him live like three months ago i said it's gonna be the best concert you ever saw and i really enjoyed his wta that was you right taxidermy that guy taxidermy that guy jack white yeah yeah he's big into taxidermy he's

never owned a cell phone i love jack white uh so everyone hits the sheets except for ellie and the flirt he's really making headway but who gives a fucking shit because he's uh not at all so let's get to the next day next morning dave uh dave gets a few texts. Do you guys want to break this down? I should add to that whole thing. Ellie has said her and Dave have become closer since filming has ended. Oh, good to hear. He came out of the storm, you know. Dave gets a couple texts accusing him of being a bully by this insane guy who should be culled.

And he handles it really really well he says i've never been aggressive to you despite saying you dumb fucking slut to her oh no bravo he should send a thank you letter and an e-serve basket when it's time for the hit piece they did to resolve this episode right uh yeah but then he goes i'm not a bully and i'm i'm gonna find he goes, I'm not a bully. And I'm going to find him and break his fucking neck. And despite all that stupidity, the most shocking thing about why he's so upset here is the content of the text rather than the text at all. Right. He's really focused on that the guy called him a bully and not that the guy texted him right i don't know to me i'd be like i wouldn't be too preoccupied with what the

guy said i'd be like why the fuck is this guy texting me anything in this new era like back in the day you'd know that she gave your phone number like why'd you give my phone number natasha but in because we have all these social media media outlets of messaging you can't find somebody's number though pat no i'm saying but it was a direct message i think on social media oh that was probably yeah okay yeah that's why i don't think he'd be that if because anybody got it okay well mea culpa and i make a career off it i'm an idiot how did you not know that uh i'm an idiot. That's how I didn't know that. Dave should have just texted back. If you text me again, I'll find you and I'll fucking kill you.

That's it for us. Jump in the iTunes ratings and reviews. Join us on Patreon. If you don't want to go there, hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts. We love you guys for supporting us. Get ready for Below Deck Adventure. What is going to happen there? We've got Cowboy, who's probably the biggest piece of shit I've seen on this show in some time. But, you know, just stay tuned keep pressing play keep downloading join us on youtube subscribe and facebook hey let's come together let's support each other we'll see in a couple

we'll see you next week or for seven days we'll see you for the season finale lenaya and mel you can figure this out you can lenaya and mel i'm d I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Nick, say goodbye. I'm Voyage. Matt, say goodbye. Bye. Love