Another Below Deck Podcast - rhocscss

Episode Date: October 5, 2025

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Oh, we used to break things intentionally and glue back together? In the east. Oh. This is an ancient practice. I don't think they ever did that. I think they were like trying to find food or something. I'm not talking about hundreds of thousands of years ago. Like, tell a kid in Darfur.

Like, hey, what did you do today? He's like, well, I tried to hunt a snake to eat something this week, but I might just eat. Wicked impression of a kid from Darfur. Oh, yeah. And he's like, you know, maybe. I had to snake trying to get some to eat

Yeah And then he goes He's in rocket power This kid from Darfur Yeah Well what did you do I'm like Well I took a mug

And I smashed it with a hammer I'm going to spend the next two hours Glewing it like to move on Oh yeah Um Hi Hi hello Hello, and welcome to another brand spanky new episode of Bad TV.

I'm Dylan, that is Pat. Great to be here. Kaelin is here as well. Hello. And Ruby. Ruby is joining us from across the country. What is up? Pupyta, girl.

How are you guys? Hello, Dylan. Hello, Pat. Hello, Kailen. I'm doing great. It's Buzzball Friday. It's Buzzball Friday. Dylan mox me for the buzz balls.

It's lime. Limerida. Also known as Chernobyl Green. Now, he mocks this brand. It is exclusively female-owned. How do I know that? It says it on the ball. I don't give a fuck if it's female-owned or not.

I'm an ally, is what I'm saying. Listen, I... You wouldn't know a female created this product because it looks like a magnet for trash. Yeah. Real alcoholic strength is. Hey, perfect way of describing it. Perfect one.

the way flies flock to shit you flock to buzz balls by the way if you're a listener uh we're happy to take you on as an advertiser if you'd like to what do you mean buzz balls oh oh buzz balls yeah thought you meant broadly any listener um sorry definitely not yeah why would you you yeah why would you i'll sell anything for money that's on me um i got a Starbucks delivered to an office today. It was delivered by a robot. This robot is in, I'm in an office in Hollywood, and there are tons of these little robots. What was its name? Her name. They're usually pretty cute names. Yeah, it was a cute name. I can't remember, like, call it like Tick-Tac or something. No. You don't want to take a baseball bat. Like most people, all the degenerates in Hollywood walking

around, they like to beat and break stuff, but you can't beat something that's named Tick-Tac. I think its name was like Amber or something like that. But you know, I kicked the shit on you. Yeah. What? No homeless people take, none ever. You need a code to unlock Amber. Don't put it passing for trying.

Oh, yeah. Like just take Amber. Don't take the food. Take Amber. Well, Amber's a hefty bitch. She weighs a lot. She looks like R2D2. Yeah.

And I got to say when you're driving around Los Angeles and you see these things, It scares me that these fucks have anthropomorphized them and made them cute. I mean, they're essentially Pixar characters, and they are completely helpless. They are bing bonging into things. They get really scared when runners come past them. It's like, I want to protect it. Yeah. But I've seen one fall down, and there are a bunch of people, vagrants, helped it up.

That is crazy. Yeah, we can't help them. But the best thing about them, you don't have to tip. like that. I don't need to tip a row, but they don't have feelings. Okay, so, uh, you know who does have feelings? The Real Housewives of Orange County. Which one? All of them. Can I say, join us patreon.com slash another podcast network for Salt Lake City. I hate, uh, what was I going to say? You hate gout balls? Well, gout balls, but, but you can listen to gout balls and us, us talk about galpals of Patreon but um oh i was going to get my tits can i get i've been talking a

bunch that's okay you sure you want to give your tits rubbs can i get my tits give your tits i mean come on with this what do we have it we're seeing a fucking kid have a fucking stroke on tv and then tamers quitting the show for the fifth time 80th time i mean miss me with the fucking bullshit. I'm going to give this episode one tit. I really did not like this episode. One tit. Yeah.

Wow. That's a low tit score. That's great. Yeah. Yeah, it's tremendous. Not even a set. Uh, go ahead, Ruby. Um, okay.

I will at least give it a, I'm not going to give it one. I will give it a pair. Yeah. I agree. Um, I didn't, you know, there was less talk about. Kid today, but I, you know, still a lot of kids stuff. way too much kid and if we're going to do kid where is darya you know probably vagranting now because she went to hollywood to that expensive school but um although okay i will say this was let

this was like a quiet brilliance from tamera where bali when she quit when she says you will never see my face again and runs off in the blue dress yeah this when she just kind of like a quick waddle right because the ground is wet she you know it was a good it was smart yeah um This one, have a good season. Yeah. I'm, oh, God, it was just, it was. Jump out of a plane. No parachute.

No parachute. Oh, right. One set of not good, mediocre tits. Yeah. Okay, we have to. And people have those. Most of us have mediocre tits. Me.

I have mediocre tits. I have great ones. You know, Todd has mediocre tits. Todd has. I give it Todd's tits. Todd has gout tits. Okay, this episode, no Kate. Katie for the third episode.

That sounds like a robot name. I guess we'll see Katie for a second when she meets with Tamrat next episode to download all her intel. You can't trust that Katie character. No, like two of the most just disgusting fucking pieces of vermin sitting down for coffee with each other. Now, I want to talk about the person. Was that too like SS language? Was that too intense? Okay.

I want to talk about the persons that are taking a lot of heat, and it's not to their fault at all. And that is the Timmons family from 98 degrees. Oh, okay. He's been married to his wife since 2011. They have two children. And now on this episode, I think his name, although blurred out, we all know it's Jeff Timmons from 98 degrees, is accused of banging Tamrat. Tamrat says in the episode, I could have banged him if I wanted to. Right, right, right.

And, uh, I just, yeah, it's important to advocate for the Timmons family. Um, and, and it's, it's, I'd sue the shit out of Bravo. You think? I would. I'd be like, I'm married. I don't think you could win that case. Your public figure. Yeah, they bleep. They've done everything to protect your identity.

They can't help the sleuths. There's only four of them, though. What do you mean? Four 98 degrees. Oh, yeah. And we already know Nicola Shea wouldn't go near there. Nope. do we?

He likes drunks. I don't know. Anyway, I thought it was an okay episode. The higher caliber of drunk that he likes, though. This episode wasn't good. I think I miss Katie. Well, I think she's a horrible person. She's great TV, especially when she gets caught in one of her many lies.

This entire show needs to be fairly gutted. Tamara wants to come back for season 20, which is next year. Unbelievable. Andy's going to let her, too. It's crazy. I don't think, don't put it past Andy to go, no, I'm not giving you that. He already said Jen Shaw ain't coming back when she gets out of the pokey this year. Yeah.

All right. I'll give it four tits. You know, in my mind, it's like, you know, and we've discussed this where baby, Baby Gorgeous is a little, you know, alarmed that somebody would compare her to Jen Shaw. And while Tamara and Jen Shaw are kind of nowhere near each other in terms of just like, criminality, even though I know what Jen Shaw did, I think I hate Tamara more. It's kind of crazy. She built the elderly out of their retirement money. And Tamrat's just Tamrat. Tamrat's just way worse, though. I will say this last note. One of the more hilarious things is how upset Tamrat is

about people openly telling her they can't trust her with information. I mean, that is. There's nothing. Tamara doesn't do anything of interest. There is nothing entertaining about her. Nothing peaks anyone when they're watching her. She's just a cloud of convoluted and meaningless fucking bullshit. And she's... She's a catfish. She keeps everyone on their toes.

Yeah, I guess. But to what end, right? Like Lisa Barlow keeps people on their toes in an entertaining way. Mary Cosby keeps people on their toes. She's a wild car. carlo called what happened i here's what i here's what i all of them are like okay mary cosby cult leader the potential people are dying and disappearing allegedly horrible that horrible person lisa barlow i don't need to go into why horrible horrible person i love you i would die for you

awful person um tamra for some reason it's different i don't know how i don't know why it's an intangible yeah and i think it's i think it's the entertainment factor i mean think about what we as a species will put up with if you entertain us. I mean, look at Michael Jackson. Well, you know, you don't know I fuck those kids. Come on. I mean, that's way worse. That's way worse than Tamara.

Yeah, but he was so good. But he was so good. That's right. You guys, you didn't question me. Jet said around the world with five-year-old little boys for like eight years. Because I fucked him. Okay. Let's get into the show.

we begin at well one you know guys i need some more definition to this especially the beginning of these shows like what kind of fucking experimental indie group is this production house like the first two episodes of real housewives of salt lake we just don't have the taglines and then this is this weird blend of last week and this week it's like can we start the show please it's like come on. Yeah. I think they're changing format to kind of draw you in. You think you're like in the middle of an episode and then you're like, what the hell is this? And before you know it. Right. Watch what happens live is playing on the same playlist. And you're like, oh, I hate this. Yeah. So what they're doing to us is what, what Apple did when they just put you two in our phones.

That's what they're doing to us here. And hear us now, stop it. Bravo. You don't need a different kind of chord. It's fine. Let me tell you something. This is when I knew culture and society. side he was going off a cliff when you young people got pissed that you two gave you a fucking free record oh well we're americans we don't like being tread on all right so the one thing that i want to i'm pretty i actually upset that i have to say is that rugby is a beautiful and cute name for a dog i just hate that it it belongs i don't want to say beautiful it's a cute name for a dog all right so um tamra says she's talking to eddie your gay husband you're going to skip over uh Gretchen catching up with Jen and basically talking about the boy band.

I don't know where I am in the show right now, and it's not my fault. It's theirs. All right. I think this needs addressing. Okay. Tamrat is awful as she is. Gretchen is certainly not doing herself any favors with the Bravo audience with this whole boy band.

I know she pretended to be mad at Slade, but that was absolutely planned on that FaceTime call saying that they somehow left the record button on and started banging. That is so stupid. beneath all of us. And Gretchen, that is making me hate you more than Tamrat. And that's a, that's quite a task. Um, yeah, is Gretchen Katie? I mean, is Gretchen just Katie? No, she's not that smart. I think she just is so excited that she's been waiting in the wings. Like she has been an understudy for 34 years. Right. Right. Right. And finally, this is her shot. I think she's just really trying to dance her heart out. Yeah. She was like, you know, one of the last, like,

Japanese soldiers in the forest. They're like, the war's been over. Yeah, for her. For like 30 years. Yeah, they're just eating rats for 30 years. All right, so back to Tamrat's house. She's talking to Gay Aspenetti, who is disappointed in Gretchen, thinks she's a disgusting person.

But the thing that I would like to discuss is Shannon and Tamara's relationship being mended via a correspondent. from Storm's Bador. So she reached out and she said, you know, I've been thinking about Teddy. This is a good option for her, I think, and Tamara looked at that as an olive branch. My question is, and I don't want to be, you know, not sensitive to what Teddy's going through. Obviously, it's really sad. But is Tamara really that involved in her treatment?

Like, does she not have family? This is another story that drives me nuts. Why are you tethered to her illness right now? emotionally that you basically she's not in hospice she's a friend who's really really rich and you're also doing a podcast weekly with each other yeah and uh i don't think tamrat cares about anybody but herself and i think this is driving uh the audience nuts the fact that she uses this as a repellent to any judgment of her like i'm going through this no you're not and if you think about i understand that jenshaw went to a federal prison but like think about the spiritual

and the motivation behind, if this is actually true, is defrauding the elderly is bad, but spiritually using your friend's disease as social currency is like kind of close to that. Okay. So I- No, it's worse. So I used to do this bit when we were recapping The Bachelor. There's always a dinner with a one-on-one where the person either gets the rose or they get sent home. And my play was always when you feel like you're going to get dumped during dinner, you just learned that your grandmother died and that person will look evil if they don't pick up that rose and hand it to you and you'll get to stay another day tamrat is doing a version of that with these people trying to fight off them saying that she's a horrible person but yeah

rubs go ahead because the infrastructure around teddy i would think that she does not need tamara to send her uh cancer treatment stuff anyways i'm doctor referral i'll say a few things one i agree with everything pat said i do not think tamera is capable of care about maybe her children, if God forbid, God forbid, something ever happened to them. But I honestly, and this is bad, I'm not sure, even. I don't know. So I, as awful as it is, when she said at the end of the episode, I'm going through the topest time in my life.

I had to look up on like reality blurb. I didn't know if like her, something was happening like with her home. I didn't know even in my brain that she could possibly be referring to Teddy because that would be like, like if, um, if your kid was applying to elementary. school, Pat, and didn't get in and then had to go to the other elementary school. And I cried about it. That would be, that's what that would be. That'd be a lie and insane. Okay. So Teddy, what I'll say? Her dad is a witch. Her dad is John Mellencamp, is he? Yeah, he like let her know, I believe, like one of the first times he saw her after she was

like officially very, very, very ill that the plot for her was all set. Um, and, Like, he's, he's a despicable person. I, I believe that Teddy and Tim are actually quite close. And I do think that she weirdly because I also think Teddy's like really fucking sick. So I think it's kind of in like, not an experimental phase, but I think they may be in like, if you think it'll work. Let's try it. And Shannon is like Aunt Lynn Krinsky just connected in the world. So I do think this was an olive branch and very, very nice of her.

A couple things about John Mellencamp. First off, Teddy Mellencamp is in a music video. You want to see a cute Teddy Mellencamp at six years old. She's in the I Saw Mama Kiss and Santa Claus music video. Teddy is so goddamn cute. Really? Yeah. Second thing is, I don't think John Mellencamp has ever not been seen with a cigarette in his mouth.

And third, if you want to see a funny video during his live performances now, he spends about 45 minutes talking about politics. And then he fights with the audience. It's pretty entertaining. Is he like John Voigt kind of politics? Oh, no. No, no, no. He hates old Trumpy here. Oh, he does.

Yeah. And I played a video where someone was like, fucking play a song, man. And he's like, shut up. Anyway, all right. So we'll continue here. All right. So this is where Eddie and Tamara-

Let's get to the 40th second of the show. Oh, yeah. And this is my, it's my bad. No, no, no. This is my, I love this. This is my favorite part because she does say that it was an olive branch with Shannon Bador. Sure. But she also adds, referring to Gretchen, who both Eddie and Tamara, I can't stand,

she can go fuck a dog, I believe. Fuck a dog. Archie, what's that? No, easy, Archie. Gretchen's a drunk, too. He wants to live with Gretchen. Oh, he does. Wow. What's that, Archie? Oh, he doesn't think Gretchen will put him in the car while she's blackout drunk. Yeah, okay, Archie. Good to know.

So, quick question. Did you think that she said she can fuck a dog? She didn't say that? Or did you stretch that so you could play the Archie sound effect? She said she can go fuck a dog. Well, fuck a duck is the saying, though. Oh. Archie, shame on you.

It is. Don't let... Archie, get the earwax on your goddamn dog ears. Don't let his complete and total buzzball brain chaos. gaslight you into thinking she didn't say what she said. This is a man who said he wanted to be thrown into a lion's den and then fight them off when he had dementia only to have his head cut off and frozen and brought back in the year. The point was if I was able to take the tiger down, I was a superior human being.

It was lions. Oh, it was lions. But you have dementia in the age that you think it's like you don't even know. Oh, he gets awful. He has dementia now, though, I think. No, no, GFB. He doesn't, but also we're not doing the lions. And also, Pat, another thing that we didn't think about it.

You being as superficial and shallow as you are, they would malle the face. We would preserve a mulled version of the perfect. You only need my brain, ruby. Okay. All right. If you want to know what the hell we're talking about, this is what you pay $5 for. Oh, and also, he would say, keep my ankles. They're hot.

We would. All right. on Emily. Nothing happens in this section. They talk about her banging Jeff Timms. So we get to Heather sitting down with Shannon Bador. And then we do, well, this is a bit of a split screen, but I want to talk about this, Kitsubushi, our scars making us beautiful and whatnot. But Heather's big dilemma with the group right now is the lack of support that she feels from them. Well, she's a comedian, Della. Right. And so. Didn't you see her two-episode arc on Malibu County in 2015?

It would be like, if I started to become Rastafari, and you guys were like, what's going on? And I would be like, you guys aren't supporting me right now. That's the kind of level of delusion. Is that a bad analogy?

Well, yeah, I think that was a little bit far. I do have just a tad. What do you mean? I'm not saying I become a black person. I'm just saying I like get the dread. and stuff.

I have it. A lot of people think I'm known for a lot of things, right? Great dad. Good hair. But I don't think they know that really where my heart is is playing the banjo. Right. Okay, that's better. That's better.

You've never heard me say that before. Yeah. Yeah. But that's what I'm mainly known for my banjo playing. Can you, for one fucking second, imagine being in an improv 101, class on Santa Monica and all of a sudden, Heather DeBro walks in. And then you're just doing the rest of that track with Heather DeBro. These are, these are 22 year old kids that smoke a lot of pot and don't have any disposable income. And then Heather DeBro walks in. This is a power move.

I've heard stories. I forget what podcast it was. They took an acting class like a 101 acting class in New York in like 1982 and uh, Carrie Fisher, Princess Leia's in the class. Really? Yes. What was she doing there? Brushing up on her acting or maybe find a find a dealer. Okay.

All right. Hey, honey. I'm Princess Leia. Do you have any crack? Okay. And she's dead. So yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, she's dead. Go look up her autopsy. Pat. I mean, he's brought this. up 75 times. You know what I think it is? I think that Pat is betrayed by Carrie Fisher. I think that Star Wars meant so much to him as a child and really molded his naivete and his wonder to find out that Carrie Fisher perished with just every drug in her body is a little earth-shattering for him. I think that's why he said. I think she was a little old to be high on ecstasy, you know?

I do know. But that was in her body. It's like ridiculous. You took ecstasy? Cocaine, booze, Xanax, and antidepressants. What did you need those for? Yeah, you were having a good time. All right.

Oh, I was going to say this, this whole mug business here. This is a new one. All right. So, Kaelin, you didn't watch the show, did you? I know. Okay. So they show up at this nice little boutique shop with a nice little hostess there. And they take a coffee mug.

and they smash it with a hammer. And what they're going to do is glue it back together. Yeah, epoxy, kitsabushi. Yes. That's where we are. No, no, no. That's where we came from.

Oh, we used to break things intentionally and glue it back together? In the east. Oh. This is an ancient practice. I don't think they ever did that. I think they were like trying to find food or something. I'm not talking about hundreds of thousands of years ago.

Oh. like tell a kid in Darfur like hey what'd you do today is like well uh I tried to hunt a snake to eat something this week but I might just eat a wicked impression of a kid from Darfur oh yeah you know me uh I had to a snake trying to get some to eat yeah and then he goes he's in rocket power this kid from Darfur yeah well what did you do I'm like well I took a mug and I smashed it with a hammer I'm going to spend the next next two hours, gluing it. Okay, we have to move on.

Ruby. Could you imagine, though, if you gave a kid from Darfur a mug, but you smashed it first and you were like, I just gave you a gift. Like, here's your mug kid from Darfur. And he was like, bro, like, ride, you know? Well, you tell them you're going to learn something from this when you glue it back together. All right.

So let's watch a kid have a stroke, huh? Uh, guys. Yeah. How good are we feeling? I feel really good. You know why? Why? Because we're on Via.

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That's V-I-I-A-H-E-M-P dot com. Como code, bad TV. Just to bookend this. They have this box that shows up with your name on it. You open it up. And I just left mine out on the kitchen counter so strangers could walk by it. And then they go, what is this? Are you awesome? And I said, yes, I am. Can I tell you the happiest part of my year comes when the turn from hot to cold arrives?

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And this is really kind of heartbreaking because he's going, I don't know, military jargon all that well, but he's going to be in a recon group. You got to get through boot camp first. I think let's not put the carriage in front of the horse. Thank you. Because I think, again, I don't know how military works. I think they'll figure out where to put him. No, you're going to sit behind a desk, especially after we saw that footage of you

fainting while getting a tattoo. But, by the way, if he's reconning, I hope he's not up against a needle, you know? Such a good point. What happens if you get shot in the arm? Just the arm. This is insensitive. A Ruby is horrified, okay? But I want to bring it back to the heart that we so often put on display when we're doing this podcast.

To have a mother be worried that her baby is going to come back from an experience, um, quote unquote different. Um, that's, you know, a euphemism for traumatized, shell shock, uh, PTSD.

Um, your dad came back fine. Oh, yeah yeah completely actually he's completely fine it's crazy yeah yeah yeah even now like in his 70s why do you have seven guns around your bed when you're sleeping what do you mean what kind of fucking question is that we couldn't wake him up when we were young because he would choke us yeah no we could we could we woke him up all the time so anyways listen um it's it's it's really really heartbreaking to see her go through this with that being said it is a marvel that the other

kids turned out as well as they did because i i'm not saying that jen is how do we do this does this need to be said no i don't think so i don't think i need to say this well uh we can speak of her husband per jen which is he was essentially telling the kids that ryan's a douchebag yeah uh did jen cheat on her husband with Ryan? Yes. Okay. I might not do the same thing. He ruined their family.

The father is an asshole too. But go ahead, Roos. No, no. But so here's the thing is he actually didn't. She did. And I think it's really any parent doing anything, especially if your kids are like of ages that aren't babies, to say that about their, the fact that I mean, I don't believe that this is actually true, but in a world where Ryan is like a good guy that he was like,

listen, I don't care. I'll prove to your kids that I'm a good guy. And he has done that to the point that now they're like, whatever, he's fucking fine. I don't give a shit about him. Wow. All right. I mean, okay, Brian, you're going to jail soon, but wow. I mean, you could read between the lines when Jen does ask her children, what do you call Ryan? And they said, and I quote, we call him the guy you're engaged to and on occasion the money mule. The money mule. Yeah, yeah. We call him that little. guy at the cyber truck then siphons chips up his

ass and drives home from Las Vegas. It's a long title. I've never seen smelling salts. Very effective. I never knew that's how that was. Was that a smelling salt or was it just a rag soaked in alcohol? Oh, I thought it was a little packet of smelling salts.

It's so crazy because okay, so smelling salts are all the rage now. What? Yeah, it was so weird like when you when you watch football there was this story that came out that they were going to ban smelling salts in the NFL and then the players were like you're no you're not and we had never seen smelling salts and now every time you're watching football there's this

slow motion cut to of people doing smelling salts really wait wait kicker are you familiar with this yeah it's nuts no I okay hold I thought that smelling salts was what like like airplane pilots take when they're like fighter jets to stay awake you do it's the same thing yeah fighters take it when they get knocked out you can take it just to hype yourself up on a friday night oh wow i have to get some of those why are why are football players doing it in a game just to get fucking hyphy but the the so so so dawson sits down for uh a tattoo and it's going to say seven seven seven seven on his chest um glad he went on the small side i've seen some people take up their entire chest with dumb stuff for sure yeah

and um yeah so he faints um faints but faints in like a really scary kind of way and i think that fainting is always scary but there's like kind of the the soft faint right where if you're like you don't want to be standing when that happens but it's it's very much like an i feel like i'm seeing audrey heppern kind of land in a sack of flower and then there's the is he having a seizure or fainting kind of fainting and that was this and it was like that's scary we put that on TV I guess we can all watch this but whatever it could be Robert Jr. is doing drugs yeah so but what I was going to say like a Luke won't eat pizza I feel like an unseasoned piece of chicken did he did he say that or was that super racist

I feel like he said that who did but I'm not sure life like I think he said like life feels that way yeah unseasoned okay referred to himself yeah no no you're not okay You're not wrong completely, just a little bit. But this was, so what we saw was that who won't be good in recon is Jen. Because the moment that it starts to go awry, she just, it's, and I would be worse than this. It was one of the funny, because we know that he is okay. Right, right. That was unbelievably hilarious to watch.

Yeah. Thank God he's okay. And very scary. Why'd we do that? So let's move on to Emily's house. Emily's house. More Luke eating. I love Luke because one of my favorite foods is the microwaveable white rice from Trader Joe's.

It is such a fucking game changer. It's in Quentin's lunch on occasion. Oh, it's so helpful to have. And can I just actually take a minute? They have so many different varieties. I'm not joking in any way, shape, or form. The fact that you can do like brown, bismati, white, and it's all microwavable. It's absolutely fantastic.

Thank you, Joe. It's the only staple of Trader Joe's that is actually like a food staple. You know, everything else is. How about their pizza? What? Their pizza. No, not a big, not a big frozen pizza guy. No.

Someone said I needed to buy their banana bread. I got it. It wasn't that good. It was me and Ruby. Yeah, I wasn't that good. Okay. Well, you're wrong. Did you get the right one?

I don't know. Hey, hey, do me a favor just because you eat. sandwiches with sauce and lettuce. Don't talk about the fucking banana bread. So. All right. So let's talk about, okay,

so we got basically what I didn't want to say about Jen was that she was a horrible mother. And she's working on it. Okay. But now we can tell the kids are going to be out of the house. Now we get to Emily. Okay. Ruby, go ahead.

I'm sorry. I just have to say it really quickly. This is what I'll say. A big little, a big big difference is as my muskow is getting into my body. It's clarifying things for me. Yeah. I shipped a Ruby at Buzzball. Go ahead, Ruby. Thank you. Thank you, Pat.

Jen is maybe what she is as a mother, but you can tell she loves her kids. I do think she has such deep love for them. She may not know how, what to do with them all the time. That is the difference. I don't feel that from Tamara immeasurably. But also, Emily, we find out that Luke, and thank you for clarifying and adding that little, little tilde to the criticism of her. it's an intense thing to hear. God, you know, maybe she, you know, if she ever heard, it's a horrible thing to hear about yourself, you know. So anyways, um, Emily, though, I think we can not pull punches that much. I don't think she knew what grade. Luke was it. Okay. So she finds out that, um, uh, he's maybe not autistic, but he's got, uh, learning

disability, he's got ADHD, just got all this stuff. He can't spell. He can't, I, I think I have, I have the list here. Yeah. Autistic can't spell ADHD and eating disorder. And she wants to maybe send him back to therapy. I'll tell him what he needs. A barber. Do you see that haircut?

Okay. They're children, though. So listen, the crazy thing, though, is that she didn't know that he couldn't read. That's right. And he is in the fourth grade. Go ahead, Ruby. When he comes home and he opens his backpack and she's like, okay, everyone gets, we're all getting our homework out and the twin is doing his and the girl is doing hers.

And then he gets his out and actually like Charlie Day, he doesn't know what it's like, that was never observed. Yeah. Whoa. That's kind of nuts. He thinks it's a door marked pirate. I'm glad. And it's like he's in fourth grade.

I'm so glad they left this in. Emily is an absolute horrible person. She needs to be off of this show. So this would be my advice, and I think this is where Ruby was going because she was asking me as a parent. She needs to stop looking for stuff. She is looking for things to explain why she's a horrible parent. Like, I don't want to do fucking homework with Elliot after I've worked all day and watch Real Housewives, but I have to sit down there for 15 minutes and make sure this little demon knows how to fucking read.

Emily clearly is not doing that and is not completely involved. and now she wants to keep blaming it on some diagnosis of why everything's fucked out. Well, and also, like... My opinion, allegedly. I understand that, you know, the twin wants a therapist, too, right? Keller. Keller wants a therapist, because his brother has a therapist. It's fair.

It's definitely a choice, but it's also like, you know, I mean, one kid's gets a baseball glove, you can get the other one at baseball club, but therapist is not a baseball That's a different thing. But who knows? I mean, maybe we all need therapy. Let us have it, by the way.

If you're offended by anything that any of us said about parenting. Please go ahead. All right. So let's get to the photo shoot. What is the spring fling party, dude? Oh, well,

first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So, okay. So Gretchen's family photo shoot takes place on a road somewhere.

Yes, it does. No, this was, this was to me, if I had to describe like oh my god I just woke up and had the weirdest fucking dream this is that dream on a dirt road yeah because what the fuck was this yeah well well also um do you see that big bunny i love that big bunny let me tell you something out that that big bunny should play the super bowl i'm telling you i'm gonna talk about this on ap s i went to the zoo last weekend and they have a new

exhibit for vultures. So I'm bringing Elliot and Quentin there to, oh, wow, new exhibit. They had two of those big bunnies like that, and the vultures were tearing them apart. Okay, Jesus. And my wife said the zoo should be, uh, uh, oh, because there was a pink hot dogs across from the exhibit. That's how we do it in LA, yeah, pinks hot dogs. They got a pinks hot dogs in the zoo.

Across from the vulture exhibit. My wife said this should be called, watch animals eat animals while you eat animals. Oh, we're all in the wild together. I like that, Sherey. Yeah, you just, you're eating a chili dog and you're like, hey, Vulture. I get you, man. I get you, buddy. They should, um, Pinks should charge like $48 for those specific ones from that cart and call them immersive dogs.

They are $48. Yeah, for sure. Is it good? I don't eat hot dogs. I know. That's such a shame. The kids did. I had the chili cheese fries.

Okay. All right. Okay. Party? Yeah, let's get to the party. Love that fat bunny, though. That big sweet, fat bunny. Love him.

All right. So the cakes and the floral party and one of the most ironic moments of all time. Any Emily heads over to the floral thing. And she comments on, God damn, this is such a bitchy thing. Like, I thought they all had a good time. And then Emily goes to Tamara and she's talking shit about Gretchen praying. Well, she said she's a godfaring woman, which is kind of counter to how she's behaving lately. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Well, Tamara says any woman that uses her religion as a shield and then goes and starts rumors is suspect. Isn't that funny? Because don't you remember Tamara in that swimming pool being reborn as a Christian woman? I do, Pat. I remember. Tamara referred to Gretchen's behavior as using a Jesus curtain.

Tamara might be like legitimately psychotic, like completely untethered from this world. Because to say that, being who you are is like just a wild amount of lack of self-awareness. Now, I want to ask Ruby's opinion on this. Emily sharing with basically admitting to Tamrat that I talked a little shit about you and said, I can't trust you. Was that trying to get out in front of it before she thought some of her cast members were going to bring that up at the cake making party? I think it was two things. I think it was that. And also it was Emily being like to the producers like, hey, hey, look, look, look, I don't just have a son that's on maybe autism needs trace. Look, look, look. Hey, I do my job. I stir pots. And I think it was a bad display of

all of that at once. Well, Tamara does not receive this information well, even though it's just factual information. It's not even like this is my opinion. This is like two plus two equals no one can trust you. But my big thing was that the buttercream corner looks like such a beautiful place and that Tamara and Emily just kind of disrupted the piece of this woman in her buttercream corner. Are you talking about Lisa, the cake chef? The cake chef. Yeah. Here's my problem with buttercream. You eat one of those pieces of that. It's delicious, but somehow it lives on your upper lips for like three days. It can top of the roof of your mouth too. I smell it like the next day, even if I took a shower. I'm like, well, that's because you eat dessert too aggressively.

You're a sweet boy. He's a little fat sweet boy. That's true. True. It gets in his nostrils because he shoves it into his mouth. Yeah, he eats cake like a collie. That was so hurtful. I'm going to dive into another buzz ball. No, no, no. You have to pace yourself. We have three shows to do. We're going to do traders too. We don't have to. You said in that, we'll talk about it after. All right. I'm going to get a white cloth. We're doing three.

Here's what I will say. Slow down. This is the type of party. Do not. We have three shows. Do not have another buzz ball. I mean. Don't come. Do not come. These are the types of parties that. are like cool in theory, but then it's like, what the fuck am I doing? What are we doing? What are we doing? I don't want it. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to take what am. I'm taking this in the car with me home in my, I'm throwing it in the trash, which feels awful. I'd eat it. I'd eat it. I

ate it. I haven't had a good piece of cake in a while. All right. So meatball heads in and Tamara has a piece of paper. We'll get to the like. Yeah. It's a printout. take your printer and okay so um we we find out that oh pat so ruby's got to head out in in 10 minutes and also well we this is important right but we're going to get to our sponsors yeah well yeah we'll get to them right now so i was watching the show last night but i'm i was so tired that i literally I've, my fingers weren't moving. I got you covered. Thank you, buddy.

All right. So Tamara. You know, who are these kids? Who are the fuck are these people with two children? How do you do that? I don't want another child. I want one child. It's too much.

But you can't have, I'm sorry. You have to do at least. Oh, no. I think we're done. My wife is so mad that she didn't have a brother or sister. That's why we have to. It's too much, huh? it's a lot it's starting to get fun now

starting to get fun imagine if it was just you yeah Kaelin you have two yeah it's once they get older then they can entertain themselves that's when it really helps yeah because imagine and Kailin and Pat if they didn't have the entertainment

you would be the entertainment right like once they're older yeah what about their imagination they don't have one when they're between one and three don't don't be stupid also when they're seven there's too many screens now so no you have to have another kit because there's no imagination sorry but i get you okay all right uh lucy's gonna have imagination i can fucking guarantee you that and she'll have siblings go ahead pat so we get on to the uh well

emily makes small talk with cake lady lisa and then uh me ball arrives and uh tam rat is really this is stuck in her craw she claims that she is the most loyal person ever yeah you're not you're an amoeba She says she's never She says she's never lied That would be like me saying I've never cursed Mm-hmm Right

To me Like Imagine a dude trying to tell us That they've never beaten off I was like Okay Where is the lie detector Yeah

Yeah All right Tamara tells the girl She could have banged Jeff Timmins if she wanted to That's the boy band guy I think that's completely disrespectful to him

And his family And then that's when Jen, Shannon Bador, and H.D arrived next. And then the ladies chat. They discuss whether or not Gretchen is a fucking liar. And then Tamrat tells them that she plans on meeting with Katie, the sketchy bitch. Sorry. Not my words. Hers.

No, actually, I made that. Yours. I did say that, yeah. Sorry. We have a 90% female audience. They don't like guys calling girls. The B word, you know? Hey, I think everybody thinks Katie is a sketchy bitch.

Even that big fat bunny. That's right. Well, Emily pushes back Because I think she really wants Katie iced on the show And she uses the excuse that Katie Like had her daughter had You know, watch those two kids And talked a little smack about Heather Debrough

Don't you remember that storyline from last season? You're speaking of Heather Debrough, the comedian? The comedian, yes, yes, clearly. Right, right, right. Who's funny, or Heather Debrough or Tiffany Haddish? Tiffany Haddish. Yeah. but Heather's that was bad of me because I do think Tiffany Haddish is actually pretty funny

yeah she wrote that book that my wife loved she had a tough life really wow yeah anyway that's very good hey Emily wants to ice Katie off the show right because that's how you get her off the show you're like don't do scenes with these people and right so it's like Emily Emily here's the thing no here's the thing you have to and also Um, um, Katie is too pretty and I would like to see her again on my screen. Yeah. I agree. Yeah, but no, Emily is like, uh, got a mean streak in me today.

You're like Tamara. You know, uh, that scene where, or the sketch where Chris Farley is pissed off that, um, about the French fries? No. S&L. No. Um. David Spade is taking some of Chris Farley's fries. Oh, that's when they're, they work at the gap.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to do that impression of Emily. Oh. Right. I don't want you going around. It's like, what the fuck?

I got a real mean streak in me. It's like crazy. You know what I just, um, what I just decided, Tamara, Tamara is a buzz ball. ruby um that's all what are you doing right now just putting my shoes on okay she's got to go yeah she's got to go all right so let's wrap this up all right so heather de bro approaches tam rat and it's contentious they both hurt each other with their words right um um tamrat didn't uh tamrat didn't stick up for heather to bro this is a dumb storyline by the way she didn't stick up for her when the rest of the cast were saying they didn't understand that uh Heather row had a pass

as a comedian. Mm-hmm. Because that really hurt her. Yeah. And, yeah. And then Tamrat's mad at Heather DeBrow because she didn't stick up for her when everyone said that you couldn't trust her with information.

Tamara is such a disgusting monster. She tells, it's like the worst kind of, it's the worst attempt at gaslighting I've ever seen where she tells DeBrow that she came at her very aggressively at that lunch. And then we cut back to it. And DeBrow's like, you know,

I just think, listen, you know. It's like, what are you talking? dad what are you talking about tamera she departs down the hallway and up the stairs fake crying it is incredible i think she said i quit when she she's on the show next episode i'm done i'm done when she cries i'll ever film with you it is insane it's so creepy when she cries because she

cannot there's lots of different faces of comedy and drama to her because there's no actual it's like just so plasticed over so um the mouth moves and the eyes move, but nothing comes out ever. And it's also fake and horrifying. And she reminds me of the Blair Witch. Thanks for listening, everybody. Get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. We'll be back next week to break down another episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County. If you want to hear Salt Lake City, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. Leave us a review. Five stars, kind words. And we will see you next week. I'm Dylan goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Later, dudes. Kalyn. Bye. Ruby. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

You know, I'm doing.