Another Below Deck Podcast - Salami Love | Below Deck Med S10 E17

Episode Date: January 20, 2026

Dylan and Pat are back to break down Eskimo Pies, Italians, Joe Exotic, chicken McNuggets, The Godfather, Marvel, Dominick, ergonomics and more from Bravo's Below Deck MediterraneanPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

I want to point something out to our listeners, the barnacles who've been listening to us for seven years. Sandy used to be in the galley every episode. Sometimes, multiple times. I want to point out that it was our relentless ballbusting that drove her out of that part of the show. It was us, and you are welcome. You're a loser. Too bad TV. I'm Dylan, and that's Pat.

Permission to come aboard. Do I sound sexy? Yes. Oh, I thought you were going to say sick. Oh, no, no, no. Do it sound sexy? No. Yeah, just sick. Mm-hmm.

I mean, there's a nasty flu going around. Short for influenza. Fun fact. Kalan, how you doing? I'm doing good. Try not to get sick. Not from you. It's going around.

The kids. Well, you're going to be sick. You're in a very small room with him, and he's clearly ill. Well, I was last week. I didn't catch it. Yeah. You know, my grandmother, you said, to say, and this is...

She's dead. Oh, she's been dead for a while. Yeah. It's an old wives tale. They used to say when you were outside as a little kid and you weren't wearing a jacket, get out of the cold, you're going to get a cold. Yeah. I don't think that's how you get a cold.

No, I don't think so. But it was such a stupid thing. No, but there is some, some, you know, scientific backing to... Wouldn't Eskimos get sick all the time? Well, they're acclimated to the cold weather. I mean, listen, if I had to gum down whale blubber, that would make me sick. not those people. They love it.

I've never seen an attractive Eskimo, by the way. Oh, they're beautiful. Some of the Eskimos are beautiful. And I think Eskimos are harmful and actually reductive word. I think that they longed to be referred to as Inuits. Oh. Oh, Inuit pies. Let's just ruin it.

Let's make nothing fun. An Eskimo pie? What is that? You've never had an Eskimo pie? Well, I guess they're gone now. It sounds like a sexual thing. Like two men climaxing at the same time or something. Then high-fiving after.

And I'm sorry that I went there immediately, but it's the influenza. You might want to tilt your mic closer to your voice because it's such a low tone. Yeah. Can you hear me okay? Yeah, I bumped it. Kalen, sorry, we probably will move on. You've heard of an Esco Mopi, right? I have not.

Oh. Yeah. All right. Whatever. Us two uncultured swine. We know what GTA is, but not an Eskimo pie. Crazy. What is an Eskimo pie, please? The anticipation is killing me. I can't sit in this mystery anymore. Well, it's a chocolate cookie thing with a little bit of marshmallow in it. Oh, okay. Is that a northeast kind of thing?

Perhaps. Yeah. No, I know a moon pie. A baked clam, by the way, is what those little Gambinos were referring to when they were saying a casino clam. You know what? Can we, we discussed last night how, you know, when you, it's so funny, we were literally, having this conversation. I'm a little, I'm not bigoted towards Italian Americans. You can be. They're fair game. I love the familial element of, of that culture. I think it's really, really beautiful, and it's extremely romantic. But the crime family element, the Gwittets and the Gwitos and the Gwitos and the Gabbagoole and the Tony Soprano and the chest hair and the medallion of all of it is, is quite grating for me at times. And that's what we had on display here this evening.

How about an entire generation or ethnicity taking pride and sounding stupid? Honestly, what other culture sounds that ridiculous and takes pride in it? Well, there's this thing where, yeah, I mean, there's just self-tanner everywhere. And it's like you're literally staining. you're staining the environment. But we're going to get into the whole thing, okay? Just, just, and there's been this, sorry, let's get into thoughts. By the way, my 23 and me, I'm like 8% Italian, so I get to harp on myself.

Okay, good, yeah, and I'll make fun of the Jays, you know, or the Irish. We can both take the Irish to task, you know. Druidic people running around it for us with eyeballs hanging around their neck. It's ridiculous. Exactly, but we don't talk. Funny. Well, you kind of do. Broder's and stuff like that.

It sounds a little funny. Okay. But it's charming. Yes. Let's get into our thoughts of this episode, but before we do, we should say that we've got a couple of more days for free traders content. The rest of the season is going to be at patreon.com slash another podcast network.

Really excited to recap that with Casey, which I believe will already be on the same. feed by the time you hear that. So go check that out. Go listen to her show. Patty is frequenting that podcast more often. It's very, very fun. And yeah, follow Ruby at Papaya Dog Girl. Oh, and I should also say, Love is Blind is just around the corner. And while we took one season off, because let's all admit, that show has been questionable

as far as quality as of late. Yeah, I mean, like, honestly, I'd probably rather watch. I have renewed optimism for Love is Blind. A lot of people said, why'd you do that? You jumped off now. Naturally, we'll jump back on it. It'll be absolute doction. Of course.

But, you know, you tell me at the launch of last season, watch 25 episodes of American Pickers or this season of Love is, give me American Pickers every single time. I want to learn more about the storehouses of Appalachian Tracks. digging through said trash. I want to learn about hot wheels. I want to learn about mold. You know, it's just more interesting to me.

Wow. That rusted old Coca-Cola sign is worth $50,000. Yeah. Well, definitely not 15,000, but they'll find stuff that I think is worth 17. They'll flip it for 22. Wow. Yeah.

So it's really exciting stuff over there at American Pictures. Let's get into our thoughts and pots about this episode. Go for it. Okay. Kalan, how you're doing good? I am good, yes. We've seen Uncle Frank before. I forget what charter guests he was hanging out.

That's the old guy, the old Italian guy. Maybe Helen. Ooh, is he a Jason? Hellen he might be, I mean, God, the same horrible black hair dye, cheap hair dye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, this could be a Jason Helen Huey. Yeah. So.

A lot of prosciutto flying around that neck of the woods, you know? I don't know what that means. Why, go ahead. Yeah. Guess some of them are. obnoxious, but I think they were just kind of having fun. So they're kind of fun and entertaining. You know, I'm really disappointed.

We got one more charter guest, we have one more episode left. There we go. That's the word. And somehow, I must have misinterpreted the footage. I thought, for sure, Joe the hoe was going to make out with Kathy. For sure, yeah. And that is definitely not going to happen. No, I don't think so.

But, I mean, I'm still like fingers crossed me. You never know what could happen. These are your thoughts. Well, it was kind of working its way. I saw the breakup of Max and Kathy. And then I saw that Kizzy, you know, that whole big toe thing, she was going to be off the boat. And I'm like, of course.

Of course. Like people are away for one goddamn day. They can't stay away from each other. So that's not going to happen. They kissed and made up. That sucks. So all in all, a horrible episode. Like most seasons, these things end with a whimper.

Sure. So, but I thought it was a decent season overall. I'm going to give it to 14 pots. Yeah, we, that's what differentiates us from other shows. We, we do T.S. Eliot on this show. Mm-hmm. Okay. How many pots do you give it?

14. Okay. So I want to talk about this kind of collective gas lighting that we, as a, as a culture of swallowed, like a sugar pill or like force-fed cream, like a fucking foie gras, whatever metaphor you want to use. The softening of legitimate murderers and criminals, they all have podcasts now. Right? Yeah. So Sammy the Bull Gravano and Francesa and all these guys that have killed their friends, ratted on their friends, racketeered, you know, gone up to people with small businesses

and bedstay and, you know, grabbed their shirt collar and said, need you to take money away from your family and give it to me. It's like all this fucking They've romanticized it. Yeah, all this fucking disgusting shit. And now I heart radio is just hosting their podcast. And it's like, so sorry. So, so I'm confused. Yeah, Norm Patis is like, Sammy, I'm looking at your resume here. So you did six years. Oh, oh, that's it. And okay. Yeah. It says here on your resume, you killed 19 people. I'm excited for episode seven, because once we get there, you'll be wearing the wire to, incriminate the guy that you killed your cousin with.

So that'll be really exciting. That'll be a good one. And I think Weight Watchers is going to do a big buy for that episode. So it's like, what's going on actually? What's fascinating because I have listened to an episode because I was going to make fun of him on PMZ. The casualness with which he describes the murders is chilling. Yeah. He knew it was coming.

So we just sat there quiet. And then I shot him in the fucking face. And then like he'll have like a guess. like that doesn't know anything you have like the nerdist on is like, hey, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What's it like when you kill someone? They don't even know when they, it's like, it's not like the movies, you know, they just go down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like they go to bed, you know, they go to sleep. Jeremy Piven and Doug Allen are just massive good fellas fans. All right. So, um, so yeah, these, you know, we call them salami people. I'm not sure. We're rather annoying. No one's more annoying than Nate right now. Nate is driving me nuts.

Okay, let me ask you why, because he got under my skin a little bit too. Are you asking why? Yes, because... Okay, got it. So Nate has mistreated women. This is just a short stint to go from what we're witnessing. So this Dalai Lama transformation into this Arthurian character is really like miss me with the bullshit and lay off Joe, right? Because we're trying to hate Joe.

We're trying to be entertained by his sex capades and his mistreatment of women. Now it is very sad that in his wake is heartbreak. But it's a TV show. So Nate, take your puritanical shit that you don't even buy all the way and go, hang out with Gail. Okay. Let Joe fuck whoever the fuck he wants to have sex with. Exactly. Okay.

Seven. Seven pots. We are on the same page. Okay. There is one charter left. Let the kids play, Nate. At this point, I know you're newfound being an adult, a mature adult who's found love and now you're saying that you probably can't hang out with guys

that are still engaging this type of behavior. Please. I had a buddy during COVID. You know, he was all masked up and whatnot. And he came over my house one day. Oh, you got to be safe. Oh, no, no, we, of course. Okay.

And we're like a year into this. And we were still going out to bars, you know, doing the mass thing, but eating in between bites. So one day, on a Sunday, he's over my house. He's got the mask on. We're watching a football game. You know, he's pulling it down to eat potato chips and whatnot. Right, right, right. And I'm like, hey, take that thing off.

Yeah. And he's like, no, no, man. You got to be safe. I'm excited. I'm excited to find out how this ties back. Oh, yeah. I had to remind him that we had gone to Laurel Tavern the week before. He met a girl that he knew for 30 minutes, took her home and tossed her salad.

Yeah. Quite the hypocrisy. Dude, you made a girl for 30 minutes and ate her ass. Yeah. And honestly, like people, you know, we got very, very preoccupied with the airborne transfer of COVID. But, I mean, and I don't know. Honestly, I think that this is why people have it out for Fauci. He did not mention at all any kind of rectal transfer.

and if you had novel coronavirus, SARS v2, you knew that there was a gastrointestinal torrent that came along with that. So it was in the intestines. It was everywhere. So you're defending my friend? No, I'm not defending your friend. I think he acted very irresponsibly.

But we really didn't know what to do back then. And we just had to be safe. Fair enough. Oh, by the way, I saw Tiger King, actually. That guy met a lover in prison. Oh. So good for exotic jokes. or whatever his name is.

He should burn in hell, actually. He was pretty cruel to animals. Yeah, he was. Yeah. Hey, if you're feeling a little overwhelmed, if you're feeling like you're lacking energy, creativity, you know what can help? Tell me.

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Oh, for sure. Well, Max and Kathy, you know, uh, they meet in the galley right before. for going to bed. And they have a little chit-chat because, you know, she went down to go get those, that food that they were throwing at her. And the chat doesn't go very well. Can we really, really quickly.

And I don't think that we, and I apologize for cutting you off. I don't think that we paid enough mind last week to how abhorrent the behavior on display from Joe and Nathan were. Okay. Dalai Lama, you want to talk about, you know, moralism and stuff like that. when people are drinking and there is an Uber order that is delivered to the boat and you two thrash away at it like fucking raccoons irrespective of the specificity of what certain people want when you have a woman who has been drinking and orders chicken nuggets do not eat her fucking nuggets or worse waste them by chucking them by chucking them I mean just the sloving

behavior. It's just disgusting. I do believe we touched on that and that is in fact a crime. Oh, yeah. But back to the galley. These two, uh, they want different things, Dylan, clearly. Max and Kathy. Oh, my God. Yeah. He wants an emotionally fulfilling relationship. And, um, she wanted flash, uh, flash frozen, uh, why can't I talk about that? Flash frozen. Yeah. She wanted flash frozen rat droppings, uh, artificially colored to, uh, mimic dead And it's not all rat droppings. Oh, okay. So let's just be fair and let's be frank.

There is a presence of rat dropping, though. How could there not be? That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I want to taste chicken McNuggets from 1982 when I was six versus what they are now. They have to be drastically different. The ones in 82 were probably so much better. Oh, that's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. So I think what Kathy wants is to take Max off the boat, get a hostel, get a hotel room for a couple of days, eat some tapas, drink some wine, maybe tuck into one another's butts. I don't care what two consenting adults to behind closed doors. But after that, she wants to go home to the UK. And she does not want to see Max after that. Dill, I love where you're going with this because I think you and I are seeing potty coat. Yeah. Because we've all been there.

Someone is ready to nail you down for a relationship, right? Yeah. But you weren't ready to settle down. Maybe you've just broken up with someone or you're still wanting to play the field. You're a CERAT. But you want to hang out with someone for a little while because you're lonely. You like the companionship. Yeah.

And this person is really good at BJs and they're really good in a special way that, you know, she likes to tweak your right. with her thumb as she flicks her hair. Stop. But yeah, it's I prequeve. I mean, they just want to have a fun. She wants to have a little fun vacation. That's what I was saying.

Kind of. All right. So we move on to, and Max, like, I feel bad being harsh about Max because Max is a very lovable character. He's very goofy.

But when you dip into like the things get a little bit too heavy. with Max and then it starts to get like not so fun. Like Max driving very quickly and ignoring Nathan that's funny. Max getting pissed off about the nuggets. Funny but then we take it to like his behavior is manipulative

and demonstrably and her behavior is a betrayal of what actual commitment and it's like bro calm the fuck down. I'll distill it. it's controlling. Yeah. So even if they walk off this boat into the sunset and agree to be a couple,

what happens the first time she says she wants to go out with her girlfriends and doesn't call him on time? Yeah. What happened? Yeah. So, yeah, I don't like this. Yeah. Really good point. Okay.

So we get to the final trip of the season. We're going to be what? Drum roll? Stuck of the dock. Ah, yes, yes, yes. Sorry. Max continues with the drama and says that he needs to be. This is one of these big things to say about this thing where people are throwing chicken nuggets at you.

Because you're all essentially like glorified college roommates right now. So that's kind of the timber of this environment. He says, I need to protect myself from her. And it's just not that serious, right? No. You guys are at summer camp. So the New York Times bestselling author is the daughter of Sunny the Bull Gravano. And I mean, God, talk about a cottage industry of interest in that.

Can you imagine reading that book? You know, we were having Sunday supper. There was gravy with veal. And dad walked in. He was covered in blood. but nobody asked any questions. It's like just 17 chapters of that. I mean, all the stories begin and end with that,

and then they all chuckle. Like, you know, that, you know, dad, I want to apologize to the Italian-American. No, you don't need to. They hate these people, too, because it makes them look bad. Okay. Like, every movie about Italians involves a hit.

Yeah. Like, no, Italians, 99.9 of them don't live like this. It's just that's their representation in cinema. Right. It's like these, that's why these knuckleheads are so, generic. And I know actual Italians, and no one's a lesser fan of these people than actual Italians. That's what I'm saying.

So I love how later on to get ahead of myself, they're like, oh, we've been on a yacht. My dad got one because some, you know, some Coomba owed a bunch of money. And then, you know, he drove the boat around and then he had to go to work because, you know, he had to bury two dead bodies. And then, ah, ha, ha, ha, that we all laugh. Oh, that's great. Yeah, yeah. Well, also that goes to shit. Like I guess just the pridefulness of being a moron,

like thinking that you could just get behind the wheel of a yacht and not cause catastrophic damage, right? Sammy the Bull. So anyways, Kizzy breaks her toe. And bodacious tattas come aboard the vessel. Her words, not ma. So the primary says, are you ready for the New Yorkers?

And we welcome the New Yorkers to the boat and we say, you're not fucking going anywhere. Now, Joe is struggling. He promised V that he would not kiss Kizzy, but he had no allegiance to her when they were a thing. Now they're not a thing. So any promises that he's made really at any point in there knowing one another mean absolutely nothing.

And he's going to try to fuck Kizzy tomorrow. By the way, these two, they're having way too much fun with this. Uh-huh. They're enjoying the tension. Yep. Yep. They're not good people. And as you and I pointed out last episode,

uh, they will last exactly one weekend in a hotel with each other and then part ways. Who knows? I mean, maybe they could even get to like two, two and a half months. But listen, uh,

nobody's perfect. The guests, yeah. Oh, I was going to say, did we, uh, have Sandy in the galley by the way with Josh to check in on the, uh,

oh, the plating. Well, yeah. No, I, I hadn't covered that. Oh,

go ahead. I'm sorry. No, no, no, No, I missed it. It's not in my notes. Oh, I was going to say,

I'm in a bit of a fugue state right now. No problem. Sandy checks, well, first checks in on Chaffy and Dominic's there, too, you know. And you're a loser. Why the fuck is she here? Doesn't she need to pretend like she's driving the boat while she's checking on her TikTok fans? By the way, by the way, you're still a loser. You're a loser.

I want to point something out to. I love Dominic. I do too. I want to point something out. to our listeners, the barnacles who've been listening to us for seven years. Sandy used to be in the galley every episode. Sometimes, multiple times. I want to point out that it was our relentless ball busting that drove her out of that

part of the show. It was us. And you are welcome. You're a loser. Okay. So the guests are very upset. they're being very guido about the whole thing. By the way, their accents, they are unbearable.

Okay, so they go, hey, why don't you get Sandy down here? We'll make her an offer real quick. She can't refuse. By the way, I love guest Marissa. As a result of a Google weather search, she's upgraded herself from a privileged foul-mouth white trash bag to a meteorologist and wants to know why the boat. ain't moving? Okay, good, good, good. Call me sunny storms and get your ass down here. Let me tell

you something. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to get this boat out of here and we're going to move out. We're going to move out into the fucking ocean because I'm looking at my weather app and it says it's 73 fucking degrees, okay? I think we can move. By the way, this is the kind of shit that gets people killed. Like, you don't think that guy in the helicopter, it was Kobe Bryant back there. And he's thinking like, I, normally wouldn't fly in this type of weather, but it is Kobe and he wants to go somewhere. And you don't think Kobe, I know I'm talking out of my ass, but probably said, hey, man, we really need to get there.

And that's what did it. I mean, and Alia, like 20 years ago, like the pilot was like, hey, that guy's 300 pounds. And she's like, well, that's my manager. Right. And, all know how that ended. Sure, sure. You get idiots like this. And Sammy, if he was on this boat, he's got a gun on the table.

Hey, I think we should go out. Right. Right. So, anyway. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the wants, the irresponsible wants of the clientele override safety. Right.

So anyway, these Gumbas, they call Sandy down to the table. That's a fine word. It's all right to say that. Gumba? Yeah. I don't even know what it means, but I know it's insulting to people like this. Those little shit piles from Mario. Oh, is it really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, good. It's a video game. All right, so. No. Oh. Oh. Do you want Kailen to play the Godfather music?

Well, we will get there. Okay. Okay. Okay, so they asked to speak to Sandy to give her an offer she can't refuse, right? So they come down there and they go, we got one offer for you. Move the boat. Yeah, yeah. Real fucking Luca Bratsy, this one.

This is what Sandy should have did. I'm going to be saying, here, play that music. Will you, Kaelin? I got an offer for you. If you don't shut your fat Pazzoly cheese bowl. Let's pause it really quickly. We'll get flagged for it. Oh, we will.

But it doesn't. Who cares? It'll be limited. It's, it doesn't matter. I don't need the music. Everybody put that here. No, no, no. Play the music. I apologize. Let's start it up. Let. Yeah. If you don't shut you fat Pazoli cheeseball eating fucking pie hall face. I'm going to throw you off this boat. Yeah. How do you like those apples? You Gumba. She called Sandy a Gumba. No, no. That was Sandy talking to them.

Oh, that's how you talk to these people. That's how you get their respect. Mm-hmm. I'm going to watch this movie tonight. Which one? I like one. I like one. There's, can you turn it down, please? There's no, yeah, actually, can you turn it up?

There's no denying that two is a masterpiece, right? Because... It's the Empire Strikes Back of Mafia films. The scenes of New York and the San Gennaro thing is just like amazing. But there is this thing where it gets very convoluted when, they do that hit on who's the guy that sounds like that? And they say like Corleone did this

and it gets very convoluted and you're just like... And this is back in time? This is in present time. Hey, you're sure they're not going to pull this down off Apple Podcasts? This is more of a YouTube thing, right? Yeah, it's more of a YouTube. You can turn it down. Yeah, yeah, don't get us in trouble.

Anyways. Huh. It's a masterpiece. Get in the comments. Let us know what's your favorite one. One, two, three. or are you more of a megalopolis person? Oh, wow.

You know, that guy is like selling cars now because he lost so much money. Francis Ford Coppola, that guy. Yeah, that guy. Yeah. Well, there's a documentary about the making of it. Oh. Yeah. I didn't want to watch the movie, so I don't want to watch the...

I walked out of the movie. You did. Oh, yeah. It was that bad? Oh, it was that bad. I was like, we're not doing this. But anyways, we're getting sidetracked. So Sandy Hatch is a really good idea.

She says, Take this salami out there and show them how how wavy it is. If they drown, they drown. So, Max is meditating on his love. And this is where we get the story that one time this guy owed my father money, so we got a big boat. And yeah, that's hilarious. So we get to lunch, and it's tomato and ricotta,

which is kind of a, it's a looser, version of the Caprazi. And then we get homemade facetcha. Then we get chicory and quail eggs. That's a salad. And we get steak and zucchini. Hey, Josh, are you... Is this family style again?

I thought we talked about this. Yeah. Are your ears clog with flour, you asshole? Yeah. Yeah. You know, this reminds me of one of the great teachers of my life, Mr. Fritz, my 12th grade lit teacher.

Is this the guy who let you down in later years by any chance? No. No, Mr. Fritz never let me down. He introduced me to Wicked. He introduced me to the Dubliners. I mean, he was just incredible, but he was so passionate about reading and literature that when we were in,

I would say, April of senior year, you know, people were really fucking off. We were in colleges. We were done. We were playing Mario Cardi and senior patio. And what did Mr. Fritz do? He came out there and he unplugged the TV and he said, you guys have work on the Iliad to do. And I know that. And while I appreciate the conviction, it's a little bit too late. We're not shamed. changing up. Family style, right? We've got three more fucking meals to go, Sandy.

Okay? Let Josh play the Nintendo. I agree. I agree. What are we doing here? It's like crazy. You know what? Sorry, you just triggered a story of my past.

Sure, sure. Senior year. They used to like know who... And just give us some time to reminisce for a second. Please. It triggers so many memories. my education, our school, they knew who the dumb kids were. And I was one of them.

Oh, for sure. And they'd separate us. So I was in dumb English, which meant kind of an easy pass. Senior year, it was called dumb English class. And they didn't even bother attempting to teach us anything. Well, it wasn't called dumb English. No, it was. And so what they did is English class was, we just watched movies.

Oh, really? No English, no spelling, no book reading. they'd roll in a television and they'd play us good movies and then we talk about them. Oh, that's awesome. That was dumb English. Wow. The entire year. They turned it into a film class.

Film class. That's great. What should watch? One flew over the cuckus nest. Oh, great movie. Breaking out. Oh. Starring Daniel Stern.

He got in a little trouble this week. He did. Check it out of PMZ. Patreon.com slash another podcast network. That was a great PMZ. Mm-hmm. Really, really good PMZ. you know, speaking of gangster films,

and that PMZ actually, Pat, uh, DM'd Joe Pesci. Yeah. I ask him if his ex-wife ever tried to hire a hitman to kill him. Mm-hmm. Because she tried to hire a hitman to kill her next husband. Yeah.

It's a great story. It's a really, there's a lot of twists to that tale. Well, let's get back to the show. Sure. So, Sandy's pissed. Um,

The meal is family style and she's pissed. So Max talks to Joe about, he goes to Joe for a little bit of advice on romance, which is a little bit, it's kind of like, and this is crude, but again, I'm a little sick and my brain power is just not. It's like going to Adolf Hitler for advice on how to be nice to people. He's just not a nice guy. Yeah. Later on, it's even more diabolical when he tries to plant in Nate's head about Gail going surfing with guys.

Yeah. You're a little worried about her cheating on you. Yeah. Hey, asshole, don't try and glom on her what you do, you scumbag. Right, right. That's a horrible friend right there. Yeah. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, dating that's like tryouts, you know? You try them out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'm going to fuck kissy tomorrow night. So anyways, V has grown strides. I'm proud of it. I'm happy for her. We don't need it on TV.

No one cares. Her storyline ended eight episodes ago. And that's sad. Like, I love V. She's obviously the heart of the deck crew. Everyone else is a fucking lunatic or a scumbag. Anyways, so Joe and Kizzy. Oh, my God.

Can I break this down? This was my absolute favorite part of the episode. Okay, please. Okay, so Joe and Kizzy, they are just, they want to get at each other, right? Oh, my God. So they're hanging out in the eating hall or the galley, whatever the hell you want to call that.

And they're sitting next to each other. And after discussing the craziest place they'd ever had sex, they realize their soulmates. Get that, right? And they make a pack that after six years, if they're still single, they're going to get married, right? And I was thinking,

this might sound crazy to you and Kaelin, but that's the identical conversation that my wife and I had once. And then we came down off of acid. And then realize drugs made us say absolutely stupid things. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, acid will really, it's a loopy kind of experience.

Yeah, definitely. It makes you say really dumb things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think they're talking about the craziest places they've ever had sex. Uh-huh. Like, enough. Let's get to, you know, they're kind of conversational foreplay. And again, this, I'm a little loopy right now, so this may not be a good analogy.

But it's like, let's just get to it already, right? So I can't stand the anticipation. Let's just see what happens. So it's a little bit like Marvel is dropping these teasers. Marvel is dropping these teasers for this big, big new movie that's coming out, right? And they drop this teaser, and it, and it, ends with them. The Wakandans and Fantastic Four will be an Avengers Doom Day. It's like, I don't give a shit, okay? That sounds horrible, but let's just get to it. Okay, I'm tired of hearing

about it. Right. The Wakandans and the Fantastic Four will be an Avengers Doom's Day. I mean, you got to be kidding me with this shit. Robert Danny Jr. is just going to play a bad guy. I mean, it's so... Is that something that's really happening? Yeah. Oh, Kailen nodded. And he He nodded in like, yeah, it's bad. By the way, how about when like an actor, like Jason Mamoa, he played like Aquaman, and now he's some like bad guy in like, and still in the same like universe playing a different, this is so stupid. Are there not enough actors?

I mean, Marvel, it's just bad business. You know what Robert Downey Jr. costs, right? Just get somebody else to do it. Yeah, it's just another idiot reading lines in front of a camera. It's crazy. Hey, by the way, craziest place I ever had sex. you guys tell me which one is crazier. Yeah.

A washing machine while it's in full operation. In it? On it. Okay. Or a rock. Yeah, I've never done it too crazy. I'm trying to think. The side of a road.

There you go. Yeah. Traffic zooming by. Yeah. Not a care in the world. We're just young, you know. Can you imagine that being so, so young? and so horny that you need to pull the car over.

Oh, God. We can't wait. We cannot make it to the destination. We have to pull over. God. That is so crazy. These young kids. Okay, so Nathan sees them flirting and is really pissed.

And he's trying to force Joe not to do anything with Kizzy. And now we're going to be a little repetitive here, but fuck off. Yeah. Okay. Stop it. We get to the bubble back. bath. There's too many bubbles in the bubble bath, and that was a fun moment. Also, earn the title of the episode whilst being one of the more inconsequential.

What was the title of the episode? Bubbles, tumbles or something? I don't know. Bubbles, doubles. That's a horrible thing. I know. All right, so Nathan calls Gale. She doesn't answer. But I think this is where, is this where Joe goes, she might be sucking somebody else out. I think that's a little later. Okay. Well, Nate polishes off a chart.

What is this? It's off a chart. What does that mean? All right, let's get ready for the pajama party. There you go. Max attempts to speak with Kathy, but she gets called up to put on pajamas or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we get to dinner. Well, not before Kizzy announces to the entire crew of her and Joe's plans of the future. And then V over here is it. Oh, yeah. That's cute. Yeah. So I think Dominic rears his ugly.

Oh, he did. What do he say? I can't do Dominic. He's a mean son of a bitch that guy. Well, he's, he's, he's, um, Josh, Josh goes, if you want a plated meal, it's going to be the best plated meal that you're ever going to have. Dominic goes, no, it's not. It's going to suck. They're going to hate it.

You're a loser. he's so goddamn mean all right so everyone's going to be happy um except for uh dominic so this is where we got a talk casting um i love josh as a person i think he's a sweet guy yeah um let's talk about josh and let's talk about chef adam so chef josh nice guy good at cooking Not remarkably good or bad one way or the other, right? Adam. Oh, but sticking with Josh, not a romantic interest for anybody, unfortunately.

And kind of sequestered into goofyisms. I told you I could have done a makeover for him. By the second episode, I would have gotten him coached up. Yeah. So now let's go over to Adam, who we remember. defiantly put onions in people's food to kill them because he has such disdain for the wealthy he fucked malia got involved in a love triangle with serious animosity towards another man almost physically confronted him because of it broke jennas heart from sailing what do we want

on our show right so so it's almost like you literally cannot hire people that are not going to be romantic interest to other people on the boat. You just cannot do it. Simply cannot. Everyone has to be hot enough and single enough to be available. Because when that happens, and I don't mean to be like purvy, it's not about that. That's where so much of the conflict in this show comes from. This is a little truncated real world at sea.

We need to have that kind of shit going on. I might disagree with you. The dynamic is just all these different personalities. Sometimes you have a chef that's just an asshole. Right, right, right. And so I like the change up a lot. You never know what you're going to get. It's like a box of chocolates, man.

Yeah, and this one is orange and cream. Which everybody hates. Yeah, and my grandmother likes it, but she's dead. So it doesn't, it's not a good chocolate. But again, we love Josh. All right, so first course. by the way, do you wait right before service to ask if people like oysters? See, it felt like a bad move.

So he heads up, asks who likes oysters, half the table does, and he serves an oyster dish with pickled blackberries and a horseradish granita. The two little gabagos didn't really like it. Can you imagine dating one of these little demons? Well, you'd have to worry about being murdered. Yeah, that's a good point. Joe and Nathan here, a break in dinner, this is where we talk about whether Gail is being faithful to Nathan, who's not her boyfriend. And yeah, it's a really seedy kind of manipulative thing that Joe does.

And it's the mark of somebody who's not a friend and not someone who's interested in your well-being. The next dish is annulotie with king crab, no truffle, it's not in season. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter to gobble gul. They want more crap and they want truffle out of season. find the hounds, send them to the forest, have them poisoned, doesn't matter. Get me the truffle. I'm hungry.

Now, Max wants to go down, despite Sandy saying that you guys have to stay up. And we get to Leah coming to see Miss Yon. And speaking of Yon, Yon. Oh, wow. Who gives a shit? The little meatballs do not really like dinner, but I think they were kind of funny. This is where there's a little charisma to how confrontational these people are. You know, they're kind of having fun.

You want to do an impression? Of what? Of the meatballs talking to Josh about it. No, I don't think I want. Okay. Okay. Kaelin? Yes. Okay.

So we had to sleep and Kizzy has a problem. Her toe is searing pain and this is putting the charter in danger. I kind of felt had she taken like three eye bruble, Rubrophin. Yeah. She could have made it through this without having to go to shore. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, she could have a sprain.

She could have a break. There's nothing you can do when you break a toe. No. No. Or bipedal. What are you going to do? Walk on your heel like a duck. I don't even think they walk on heels.

I don't think they have heels. By the way, is it called ergonomics, like how you kind of, your body will fit? Ergonomics is when the keyboard is designed, kind of like the panel of like a Death Star employee. Okay, so here's my point. Why did we not make round edges for like things like the corner of beds? Everything should be round. It should be round. Why do we screw ourselves? Do you know how many fucking times I've broken my pinky toe? The thing turns purple. I'm waiting for it to just fall off one day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It gets gangreness and you go, I'm not going to the doctor. It'll sort itself out. I honestly thought, like, why not just have it removed? Right. It just causes trouble.

Well, and that's not even to say. I mean, think of the children. I mean, we've got kids crawling around. I mean, you're making pointed tables. Everything should be round. Thank you. You know who thought that? The just seminal talent, Kanye West, said that things are too square. Everything should be round. And everyone was like, this guy really is a genius.

He's got great ideas. He has thoughts. He has amazing ideas. Not really. So we had, we, yeah, so Josh is up to, he's stirring because the demons in his head, really just one demon, is telling him that he's not doing good enough. We've all been there. Self doubt. So Kizzy is crying.

Max is sorry for yesterday. And he and Kathy, boyfriend and girlfriend, have a little healing chat, you know, the kind when you're in a little bit of a route with your, your girlfriend or your boyfriend. Yeah. So Kizzy heads up to the bridge and her toe looks like one of the daughters. And Sandy says you have to go get an x-ray. So we're going to the beach for a picnic and Josh is freaking out. He wants to nail the dinner tonight. So he is going to.

Oh, it's Dominic. Wake up, you asshole. It's a new day, which means you have another chance to deliver a big C-minus, you epic failure. Yeah. Not an F. a C minus. Dominic knows how to cut and cut deep. So Sandy,

not Sandy, Josh says, I'm not, I'm not going to go to the beach. I can't cut sandwiches in half. You sea rats can do that. We've seen this before many times from chefs. And Kathy is really,

really not happy about it. But before we get there, the Gwedats talk about how feminism is destroying men. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing how fragile men are that feminism is destroying us. It's crazy.

But then Kizzy heads out and she says that she has chlamydia or something and longs for a night that might not happen. Well, how about Joe? Yeah. He sees it apart and he doesn't utter the words, I hope she's okay or I hope it's nothing serious. Instead, he says, I hope this isn't the last time. I get to see her, implying that he, he hopes he still gets to porker. His words, not mine. Implied.

Not, not his words. Actually, not holding up in a court of law. Very indelicate. So Josh is not at the beach, and because of that, Kathy has to dress the salad, and she's pissed. And she's, who needs directions? She's, Kathy's so funny at this lunch. Open pack. Yeah.

She goes, do you want any almonds? They go, what's that for? She goes, it's everything. Line of the day. Yeah, you just put it on everything. Everything. Oh. Max goes to sleep again.

Nathan didn't tell him to go down, but fuck it. I need to sleep. Kizzy is coming back and we wrap with Kathy and Josh, passive aggressively, feuding with one another, but more importantly, Joe and Nathan, who have a little chat where Joe in, no uncertain term, says, you know,

I know you told me to keep it in my pants. I intend not to. I actually intend on putting it in her pants. That's right. And Nathan is repulsed. Let it go, Nate. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. It's just sea rats having sex, let it go. Doesn't fucking matter. That was pretty good. Not bad. Good tone. Thank you.

You know, season finale, Nate and Joe the Ho get into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's going to be really exciting. I'd argue why waste your breath, but I'm not a sea rat. Yeah. Nathan gets, Nathan is so righteous in the way that he sees the good and bad of this world, that he's going to punch Joe in the face for not abiding by it. It's crazy.

No, I do think V will be very, very heartbroken. It'll be tough for Nate to see. So we'll see what happens in the finale. Get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. If you're an Italian-American, how'd we do? We had your back. For sure.

Let us know your favorite cold cuts. Whatever. We love you guys for supporting the show and listening. tell your friends, tell your family, steal credit cards, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network, donate a little or a little more. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. There you.

Caelic. Hey, yeah.