Kill James Bond! - Sandwiches on the Beach | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S3 E5

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to talk spanking, egg timers, balls of snakes, shuttlecock, sandwiches, Pat becoming a sea rat and even more of Bravo's Below Deck Sailing Yacht. Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Sailing seasons 1 & 2 AND Love is Blind Season 2.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetworkVideo of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw?sub_confirmation=1Merch: AnotherMerchStore.comGo to MagicMind.co and use promo code GLENN for 25% OFF

Oh, can I do one thing about the weird one? You got a lot of weird one moments tonight. Well, it was... All right, so I had a moment, guys. All right? They were all down in the galley, and the weird one was like, hey, Daisy wants to bang you, Gary. And then they all have, like, a good laugh about it.

And there's, like, half the crews down there. And I was like, you know, life's fucking short. And I'm serious about giving up this land life and becoming a sea rat. Yeah. What about your wife and child? Of course, I'd have to have a conversation with both of them. It's a seasonal profession. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Sailing Yacht Podcast.

My name's Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys! That producer of the podcast has permission to come aboard. Permission to come aboard. Permission earlier. I ask, you don't just give it to me it was a weird that's my bad guys

I want to get a quick PSA out of the way thanks to everybody for showing up for a big week for us with interviews with the two demons from San Antonio

and the good guys from wherever the fuck they're from why are we thanking the audience we did all the work hey can I fucking

pander I'll chastise them too yeah please let me pander I'm thinking the audience. We did all the work. Hey, can I fucking. I'll chastise them too. Yeah. Please let me pander. Let me feign this sincerity, Pat. Okay. So guys, thank you so much for showing up for those two things. Although we do know that you were just kind of fascinated by a car crash. And we would ask you to keep listening and keep telling your friends, family and stealing credit cards to go to patreon.com slash another podcast network.

Also, get in the reviews. Leave five stars, especially on Spotify. If you are listening on that platform, hit five stars. There are no words. Just do it. It'll take you four seconds. And why would they go over to patreon.com slash another podcast, Dylan? Was there more?

Yeah, because these are fans of Below Deck deck and you can listen to us cover down under below deck exclusively on patreon.com sasha tell him he fucked up nick i don't i think that's a little harsh i think that's how are you to raise a tone at me and then demand for him to tell me that i fucked up i do i really gross stuff from you i i would say that you missed a pretty big error and omission. And if you read the subtext, that's me saying you fucked up. Hey, so get on over there because I've watched the first three episodes. It's incredible. It's pretty amazing.

I like Captain Jason. He is hot. He does have a little bit of a beer belly. But he is good looking. That even makes him more of a man. And the chef, Ryanyan is one of the biggest you think uh simple chuck is an asshole wait till you get a load of this ryan character i am so excited to talk about uh dan anda because i mean we joke about sandy running boats into restaurants

and marinas i mean jace has actually done it. The guy said, you know, I don't want to get into all of it, but the characters are incredible. Ryan is one of the biggest pieces of shit on planet Earth, but sadly, he can cook a little bit. Doesn't matter. I'm going to give him zero pots for every meal. Go to patreon.com slash another podcast network to hear us break

that season down. But guys, we got a season of our own here. Another franchise to cover for free for the cheapos. Okay? It's Below Deck Sailing Yacht. How many pots do you give it, Pat? Hold on. I'm going to tell you. You know, you were a little concerned with episode three. You're like,

I don't want you to go with your pots. Whatever. Sorry. You're sure I'm already in the middle so technically on a technicality, I must continue. Once you break the seal, I'm already in you know i'm in yes all right i like the energy so uh everyone right so get this get this get this i think it's episode four i could be wrong dylan you were concerned after simple chuck and erica rose left the boat last episode you're like this is the height of the show we already saw uh you

know marcos lose half his head his brain leaking out of his fucking skull. That was sad. He scalped off a piece of his scalp in Glenn's voice. Right. We saw that and we're like, what can be left of this?

Yeah. Well, in episode four, a big part of what they teased in the trailer for the entire season was this whole thing of the boat getting pulled by those big knots

and then the boat was going to tip over or something. That's at the tail end of this episode. Right. So now we're at episode five with 18 more episodes left and you've proved my point, I think. But we haven't seen the whole season. All right, all right. But let me get to this episode.

The snakes are out. Charter guests are pretty fun. Not like the last charter. They love vino. vino orgasms are happening and asses are being smacked 98 knots way to go pig nick did those things happen i agree with uh pat if you're talking about the first minute of the episode yeah i loved it that was so hot when she was like harder that was so hot okay but she said harder yeah That was so hot. Okay. She said harder? Yeah.

Oh, boy. I bet her dad's proud. It's my thoughts and not Dylan. Yeah, but guys, there are so many women listening, though. But they agree. I know. Don't put them in a box. A lot of them do.

I know. My God, though. Yeah. But yeah, the beginning of the episode was awesome. But then just like we predicted, it kind of spiraled. And I understand we kind of have to have these ebbs and flows to then enjoy when something happens. It's a nautical show. I don't think the perfect storm that we're seeing is going to be it.

I have a feeling we've got an M. Night Shammy Man orphan. Esther is actually a 33-year-old former prostitute type twist coming where everything is okay. But we'll find out next week. For this episode, I'm going to give it a mediocre 72 knots. Yeah. It was tough coming off the heels of such rat-like people, you know. But it was still a fun, fun ep.

I've just watched so much reality TV I really don't know what happened just really have no fucking clue what happened in this episode but probably like would you give it? 72 probably that much alright so last we left off we had quite a bit of before we get to where we last left off

I just want to put a button on that as simple Chuck and Erica I really hope to not discuss these people in my life ever again ever again they're pretty horrible but man he went on erica's instagram ig live at three in the morning sneefed up 40 minutes i listened to the whole thing when i was setting up uh uh oh my god what we do for you you guys. What Nick does for you guys. It was like the car crash thing. I was curious.

And, man, this guy cannot say he's not on drugs. He did admit that he is prescribed ADHD medication. But he also said he didn't bring it on the boat, which is a lie. Man, they're going to get divorced. Super sad. It's really sad. Just to bookend it from my perspective, when they came on to do the interview,

I mean, they were pretty horrible on the show. I was secretly in myself. I know I wouldn't have made good pot. I was like, please just come on and apologize and say he was a dick. And then he says I was a dick. And then we just moved the fuck on. So thankful that they didn't do that

because Nick fought with them and it made for a great episode.'ll bookend it with this we did get dms from erica saying please tell your fans to stop leaving negative google reviews it was the point i was trying to make that the show is broadcast to millions of people and you guys came off as some of the worst human beings to ever grace the stage so it's not our fans um it's everyone all right let's get into it also quick psa for the youtube audience my lips are so chapped it does look like i have an outbreak on my face right now but it's just it's the san diego sun went to another bachelor party we'll talk about it on another podcast show so last we left off we had a bit of ball snake sitch going on uh gary's signals were telling ashley that he wasn't interested so she decided to commit the horrendous atrocity of having sex

with someone next man up um pat you seem to not be satisfied with the ball snakes type stuff last episode were the smacks and cries for harder uh enough for you today now i wanted daisy and gary uh to make it happen uh and then we have call and watch which i think he was hoping he could do well he did for a little bit he walked up to him and he said what is going on you know uh daisy kind of all of a sudden realized that she needed to stop what she was doing though and did so she abruptly walks away from gary and gary abruptly says carpe diem which is you know what else would he have said i love i don't know what triggered in both their heads but like you said they just all of a sudden stopped he's like he all right, goodbye, sleep tight. It's like the egg timer went off.

It was like. All right, so Ashley says that Tom doesn't fuck like a 23-year-old. What's going on here with Ashley? I don't want to be sex negative. She's fun. I don't want to be sex negative, but how many kills do you have? You're 23 years old. You're like Wilt Chamberlain.

I loved it. I like her ability to readjust herself. You're 23 years old. You're like Wilt Chamberlain. I loved it. I like her ability to readjust herself. You know, a woman needs to be satisfied. And, you know, she had to find it any way she could. And when Gabby said, hey, do you bang Tom? She said, yeah. Yeah, no coin is from her. There's some people, I think before a season, they just gear up and they're like,

I'm going to be great television. And Ashley's given that to us. Oh, 100%. I really appreciate it. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, Gabby needs to step it up and get drunk or something. Start throwing shit against the wall.

Oh, yeah, we saw the show. She will. Okay. All right, so Daisy plays the next day. Oh, next morning. I got a frog. Can I jump in here while you're trying to clear it? No.

Daisy plays the blackout card in the morning while they chow down on breakfast and examine the plasma that's coming out of Marcos' head. How do you guys feel about this strategy? It was porous. Well, it's interesting. All right, this is... Sea rats this morning were waking up to something

they're very accustomed to, which is awkwardness but sea rats have a different kind of take on awkwardness and how they uh i guess uh work it out it'll be like this hey is it weird that i blew you last night we worked together other sea rat says and i quote not at all and then it says did you hear our direct supervisors almost entered each other you don't say say. And then in other instances, hey, did I blow you last night? I think so, but I was pretty drunk. Pat, so what is this? So it's not quite a transcript. It's more of a reenactment.

It's kind of like a rescue 911 reenactment. Dylan, if you rewatch the show, this is almost exactly what was said. So Gary and Tom dap each other up while Glenn hammers lavash. He looks like a turtle on a piece of lettuce. You know what I mean? What is that stuff? It's lavish. It's like Armenian matzah.

It reminds me of matzah. Or it's their version. They use it for like a fucking burrito. How would that work? Well, when I go to Zanku Chicken, I get lavish, and I just wrap a little grilled chicken up in there and put a little hummus in there. So that would be a non-baked lavish? Am I off on this?

I thought it was... It's Armenian, isn't it? I'll figure this out later, I think. I liked Pat's, how the sea rats, they lean into the awkwardness. They've all had so many experiences where they woke up and probably tried to avoid the situation. It's an awkward day of scrubbing and not speaking. So now they all know that they immediately have to own it, throw themselves into it,

be like, hey, we blacked out and fucked each other, didn't we? They're better at sitting in it. I would say, though, throwing out there that it was blackout would be something they're doing called zero accountability. Lack of extreme ownership. I believe that Daisy didn't remember, though. The weird one asked Tom, hey, did you bang anybody?

He says, yeah. All right, so it's at this point when the sea dog goes full sea dog. Daisy walks down the hallway, and him and Gary are just looking at her with these sheepish grins, and this is the moment when I really feel like we've got a cast here. I mean, we... It's what Marco said. I mean, this is

familia. You know what I mean? They're so tight with one another. It's so much fun. So we end all this fun with a promise from Daisy. She's never going to drink like that again. Well, you're a C-rat, so, you know. It's like Trump swearing off ketchup.

It's just not going to work. No, no, he never would. It's lifeblood. Sorry. So we get an awesome moment from the weird one. Tom says, Tom tells Kelsey that he, excuse me, Tom tells the weird one uh tom says tom tells kelsey that he excuse me tom tells the weird one that he banged ashley and the weird one is genuinely just super happy for him you know she's quickly becoming a fan favorite of mine yeah and uh you you're singular she's a fan favorite and

i'm a big fan of her right and uh if you're asking me who i want to interview next she's at the top of the list i think so too i'd love to talk to the weird one. That would be amazing, actually. I'm excited. I would first be like, what do you think about our nickname for you? Okay, so we've got to take a quick little break for a preference sheet meeting.

But before we get there, let's take a break to talk about Magic Mind. I don't really think the preference sheet meeting is a break. No. The ad's a break. The ad is a break. We have to take a break before me preference sheet meeting is a break no ads no the ad is a break we have to take a break before the meeting is a featured segment yeah highlight if you will well i think you can tell that i haven't taken any magic mind today all i've been drinking is this uh this piss right here at celsius it's not good for you although if they do sponsor the show i will tell you all about the benefits. Magic Mind does not leave you jittery. It leaves you peaceful, tranquil, and focused.

It has lion's mane, echinacea, and matcha, and nine other incredible ingredients. You can get it at magicmind.co. If you enter in promo code GLEN2ING, you'll get 25% off. It's an influencer drink at this point i mean kylie's drinking it kanye's drinking it pete davidson's addicted to my ex nanny lupita ex nannies i mean everyone who's some of the most influential people on the planet everyone who's cool drinks this stuff so go to magic mind.co enter in promo code glenn and get not only 25 off but the benefits of the anti-procrastination drink so um let's get to the preference i've done it different every single time. Nick, who do we got?

We got our primary, James Cox Jr. He's a luxury real estate broker for a multi-million dollar properties in the Manhattan area. He's sailed all over the world and eaten at some of the best restaurants, so he's excited to see what a yacht chef and crew can do. Joining James Jr. are his sister Kimber and BFF Amy, a.k.a. Bunny. James Jr. are his sister Kimber and BFF Amy, aka Bunny. Kimber is soon to be an empty nester and is looking forward to having someone else unpack all her belongings. Bunny works as a sales representative and has been sober for 19 years, so she is filling that void with Dick, evidently. That's a good stretch. Is that the cougar? Yes. Oh, nice. So she is excited.

And that was a poorly placed stretch, and I hesitate even going back to it, but I was referring to the sobriety. So she is excited for never-ending virgin cocktails. Bunny's one request is a 35-year-old dark and handsome masseuse to keep her loose throughout the charter. James Jr.'s little brother brother tyler a third generation tyler more uh uh third generation don't do that oh uh james jr's little brother shut up and don't do that pat shut the fuck up don't do that okay i thought there might be one more. James Jr.'s little brother, Tyler, a third-generation tile maker,

and father, James Sr., a retired tile maker, will be joining as well. I wonder if that's where Tyler got his name. They're tile makers. I'm just noticing this. I wonder. Tyler is one of the biggest wine drinkers you will ever meet, which we will find out later, and James Sr. is most excited to sit back, sail,

and eat any kind of food thrown his way. Hay kimber's son is a recent college graduate and is excited for this getaway with his family this group is looking forward to drinking playing golf paddleboarding water toys badminton and anything else the crew can offer together they are celebrating a graduation of 75th birthday and sharing quality time making manners on dinner night one they want a 007 birthday dinner for jim and would like the captain to join day two they want a beach picnic because they aforementioned badminton and night two an authentic spanish dinner which marcos has big plans for and that concludes the preference sheet my god man well done my god it's double it's double preference sheet meeting night you know guys step it up. That's true.

That's true. Because we're covering below deck. Dan on deadpatreon.com. Slash another podcast network. So, so much to get to, but we'll see them on the show so we can kind of take our time with these charter guests. I do want to say something that I picked up on during the preference sheet meeting. Marcos has a tattoo of a bayonet on his wrist. And I think here is where the lore continues.

On Reddit, I was on there this weekend. I was on Reddit. You mean Nick sent you a screenshot? Is that how I was there? Because you'd have no way to navigate the website because you'd never seen anything like it? I still use old.reddit.com i hate the new format yeah i don't like the new exactly exactly uh but anyways it was his preferred weapon as we know taken off the muzzle obviously uh for close-up kind of stuff uh for those that may be confused did you know

that when sorry nick in world war one just on to move on. Did you know that when... Sorry, Nick. In World War I, just on this whole bayonet thing, you know, I'm a bit of a history buff. Only 5% of people that were killed in World War I were at the end of a bayonet with the actual sword being driven through you. Such a horrific and horrifying way to die.

Soldiers did everything they could possibly not to die that way. Did you say World War I or World War II? World War I. Yeah. Napoleonic era kind of carryover, huh? Oh, yeah. We did this one time.

Yeah. And then I disagreed. Then I looked it up and I found out what it was later. I can't remember the specifics. That was cool. But I'll be back next week. I interrupted you. Anything you want to say?

Marcos was a hitman. Oh, Marcos was a hitman. That's our theory. Marcos was a hitman. And, I mean, it's well-based in reality, I'm sure. Chico Bayonetta. But as we continue to grow, our theories are permeating the interwebs and the different communities that are covering below deck,

and they've picked it up. And now we're actually kind of shined a light on Glenn as well. And I just hope the man doesn't get in trouble. Stay safe, Glenn. Stay safe and clean up good. Well, that is our official stance at another podcast network. Let's go on record as saying that in no way

does anything against this man's professionalism in cooking. No, no, the man is... No, he's talented. I mean, it's even more impressive that he transitioned to one height of one profession into the height of another.

It's pretty hard, especially late in life. I need a chef with a past. You need that grizzled nature. What would a C-rat be without the qualifications emotionally and mentally of a C-rat? We wouldn't have a show. You've complained about young singers on American Idol

like Aretha Franklin's granddaughter who just doesn't have the pain. She doesn't have the experience to put it in. I think that same thing translates into your food. And when you've seen whores and men die before you at your very own hands, that's going to make you put more love into the dishes. That's why Ryan from Down Under can only cook for TikTokers. Exactly.

All right. So Tom has gotten bad news from home. Very sad stuff. His best friend's dad seems to be dying. home very sad stuff his best friend's dad seems to be um dying uh we've got a little bit of relationship stuff building here between ashley and tom uh ashley goes up to comfort him but i would warn him that she is not a sea rat but rather a sea snake i feel she bites the fucking heads off of her prey and i would just say don't fall in love buddy don't fall in love it would be so beautiful if these two ended up together got married had children and then one day their

their son or daughter's like how'd you guys meet and she's like yeah well we were on a boat and i tried to fuck this tarzan looking guy but he kept ignoring and shooing away my advances so i went next on the totem pole next man up right next man up yeah and then we fell in love because tom had tragedy and forced and that's not gonna happen she's gonna bite his fucking head off because she is cob uh one uh note before we move on to i think the night time or next morning or wherever because it just moved pretty quickly next day gabby i i appreciate uh this little gabby's professionalism okay she is a perfectionist okay but she might be a little bit of a micromanager there,

being the second Stu. She's upset about those hospital corners making the bed there. And Gabby, cut Ashley some slack there. She was up all night smacking Tom's asshole for about three hours. Her fucking hands hurt. Smacking his asshole?

Yeah, we heard it on tape. Oh, see, this is where we kind of get into trouble. So you're talking about his butt cheeks. Yeah. But for some insane reason, you say asshole. And even, I definitely envision, we have very different imaginations of what went on in that room,

because I was definitely thinking Tom was the one doing the smacking. Smacking of the asshole, yeah. Well, it's customary for the younger person. So it's hot out. It's 85 degrees at 8 a.m. Yuck. I hate too hot.

Tom yells, excuse me, Tom tells Glenn about the friend's dad and that because of it, he needs to keep working. Okay. I mean, it's his friend's dad. It's not his dad. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I know. You're going to fly halfway across the world to be there for your friend's dad i just didn't really see the point of the conversation

other than to let glenn know that he was going through it but i guess that's you know that's got some merit too glenn's very fatherly tom's lost that's a good point yeah so gabby and ashley continue to fight with one another as pat mentioned and daisy could not give a fuck. She tells Ashley to chill and that she'll speak to her and Gabby after the chart. Can you not do it now? Why are you letting three days pass by? And then I don't know. I feel like we could have a knife fight between these two and a tragic winner

and a loser. Well, I, uh, two trains of thought here. I think that what Daisy's hoping is that these two actually work their differences out over the course of the next three or four days. Sure. No need to make things awkward right now. To me, I think she is hoping that, but I don't think it will. It reminds me, and I told you guys about the sign before, when I cleaned the chiropractic office with my grandma and my sisters at my sister's, big sister's chiropractic office.

There was a sign, and it said, five dangerous words. Maybe it will go away. And that's how Daisy is treating this. The rift is only going to deepen. And Mark was right. She has to nip this in the bud. That's also how you treat pretty much every medical problem that ever pops up in your life yeah when's the last time you were at a doctor oh god i don't know again i've had std tests so so that covers it yeah it's essentially a cancer

screening uh but uh yeah you're right and it's always worked for me it does go away but daisy shouldn't do it no daisy should not do it so the primary do do as they say not do it. So the primary. Do as I say, not as I do. The primary comes aboard. He introduces himself as James Cox. Not good. And we realize how not good that is pretty quickly with the, hey, why don't you fuck my sister stuff? It was very, very intense. But I just skipped past quite a bit. So if you guys have anything on.

Well, first off, we had a weird one moment. I'm going to have like Brian when we put the video. Hey, Brian, put some kind of fun music over there for the weird one moment. She flosses her teeth with her hair. Yes, she does. It's a very weird thing to do. Second time she's done that this season. I actually find it quite resourceful.

I often get stuff in my teeth, and I don't have anything. I don't really buy floss. Right. You should buy floss. And I also wish I would have said that on air. Yeah. The issue is, one, you don't have the length to do it.

Yet. Two, it's pubes. Two, there's no worse smelling thing on planet earth than the shit between your teeth than the calcified shit between your teeth i mean truly uh you know put me in a sewage plant before i have to smell a good amount of that stuff well both of you should go see a dentist then because that's not how it's supposed to be is that true yeah i go to a dentist every six months you got to get all that stuff out of your teeth. They need a bath. They need a shower.

I want to bite back like the little Jewish pit bull that I am, but I'm not going to. I think you're probably right. I'm 100% right. Is me saying you're right not good enough? I'm trying to help the audience out if they didn't know. This is like saying your shit doesn't stink.

The stuff between your teeth stinks, Pat. No, it does not. You're supposed to floss four times a day. It's when you pull something out to floss. Mine never does. The good news is that it's not really important and we've got to move on. Well, I'm getting all heated here. Don't floss until tomorrow night,

Pat, and then we'll floss and I'll smell it. Alright, so that's a brilliant segment. What time are you coming over? All right. So he does try to ask the old sea dog if he'll fuck Bunny, the cougar. Now, I take issue with this. Well, maybe just because I'm old now.

Middle-aged. She's being considered a cougar. She's probably 10 years younger than me. That doesn't seem right. No, that's vanity from you. No? Yeah. What do you think, Nick?

I think it's a 10-year gap, I would say, between the older woman and the person she's pursuing, whether or not she makes it. You can see how Pat's sucking on his bottom teeth. It was about Pat's vanity there. It really was. I almost got him you look young pat you pat you're so handsome a 65 year old would be a cougar to you uh all right

so there's this really bizarre pattern that he a bizarre line that he goes about uh he asks the sea dog what his favorite animal is the sea dog obviously says dog and then the primary says how about cougars um it just really confused me because her name's bunny but she's a cougar that's very distracting uh also this is just a bad line but he seems to know the progression of it because no one's gonna say cougar is their favorite animal so once he gets the wrong answer he can then pitch the benefits of the cougar is their favorite animal so once he gets the wrong answer he can then pitch the benefits of the cougar which are apparently their speed and how old they are um it's almost like i didn't need to focus on that little part of the show that much but and there's a variety

pot and what can you do uh so the two stews keep fighting, and this is when Marcos will kind of echo our sentiments. He says, did you do anything about those two? And she says, yeah, I vaguely and passive-aggressively brought it up indirectly in front of everybody at the meeting. What are you talking about? Of course I brought it up. So back to Marcos. He is slaughtering lobster that is clinging on for dear life and he is making

a bisque uh the kind of dish whose flavor intensifies the longer it you know falls in love with itself um let's get to the nighttime oh uh can i do uh one thing about the the weird one uh are you a lot of weird one moments well it was all right so i had a moment guys all right uh they were all down in the galley and the weird one was like uh hey daisy wants to bang you gary and then they all have like a good laugh about it and there's like half the crews down there and i was like you know life's fucking short and i'm serious about giving up this land life and becoming a sea rat yeah uh what about your wife and child of course i'd have to have a conversation with both of them.

It's a seasonal profession. He can leave. If I was on this boat, when we had little Gabby here, and I was like, first off, Gabby's a little older than I thought she was. I thought she was like 24 or something like that. Turns out she's a little bit older than that.

And I was like, what the fuck are you doing? How long are you going to do this? She's like, I just fucking love it. And when I was watching this episode on this particular boat with this crew, I'd fall in love with that career choice as well. It just seems fucking cool. It does.

The vistas, the views, the ashleys. Yeah. You guys done? Yeah. Because, I mean, that's a bit, right? Because you're panicked living in a coffin for six weeks at a time, being spit on by wealthy trash. Who would want to do that, though, right?

Every business has a bad part, Dylan. So we must move on. But before we do, let's take a quick break to talk about an incredible sponsor. You know them. We know them. What is it, Nick? It's Manscaped. Guys, support for the Below Deck Sailing Yacht Podcast, another another below deck show what is this fucking show

called whatever manscaped is sponsoring us and if you enter in promo code below deck you will get 20 off all the incredible products they have at manscaped.com with uh what am i saying and you'll get free shipping um we've talked about man i know I know it's a tough start to the ad read, but guys, I think we can recover when you hear this noise. What am I doing? Not that noise, though. What am I doing? Well, he's getting rid of those Spideys.

Oh, no, I'm not getting rid of them, because I can open this up and pull them out on the back of this device. You want to know what I'm going to do with them when I pull them out? What are you going to do with them? I'm going to floss my teeth. Because you haven't used that for a while, so your Spideys are too long. So that is fucking disgusting,

and if I could just take over from here, that would be great. When you're done, let me smell those hairs. Okay. Fuck. Listen to that hum that's not that's not audio technical difficulties that is the manscape something it's a symphony that is german maybe engineering i mean this stuff is beautifully beautifully uh made uh designed all the good stuff um if you go to manscape.com and you get their uh performance package 4.0 which does include this beautiful beautiful device that uh pat has in his hand right now i think you can cut it now hey you know i just

uh you know the uh what's that thing called functional fixedness? Are you guys familiar with that term? No, what's that? It's using something, you know, like a fork. You just use it to put something in your mouth, but you could use it for so many other things. This can be used to take nose hairs out so you can floss your teeth in the car. I think the little ladies can use this thing, too. I'm not sure what the price is on this little sucker, but do some comparisons on the- Oh, you're talking about as a sexual toy.

Maybe we shouldn't use... Maybe we shouldn't say it. Maybe we shouldn't say it. You said it. Okay. He was just saying it's functional fitness. Thank you, Pat. Get 20% off and free shipping

with the code below deck at manscaped.com. That's 20% off, plus free shipping with the code below deck at manscaped.com. Guys, keep your balls trimmed, fresh and clean with Manscaped trademark. And ladies, you can use it as well for lots of different things. Lots of things.

All right. Let's get into it. All right. Dinner. And thank you for all the support you've given us so far, Manscaped. And we're sorry. We love you and we are sorry.

So. This is where I say, I did have this. The weird one's really coming into her own. I mean, finally, we're seeing the weird one step up into the limelight when she makes fun of Carrie and Daisy. We get more relationship stuff with Ashley and Tom, and then we get Daisy who tells the two male whores that they're going to have to go up and serve cake. It's a work night, fellas.

They say you might want to look before you ask. And I would say, Sea Dog, you chill out, okay? You got a tanned, hairless Sea Dog bod. You know, Bunny gets hit on by geriatrics in Palm Beach. So I think you're looking pretty good. Dinner begins. psychiatrics in Palm Beach, so I think you're looking pretty good. Dinner begins. Not on such a Spanish foot, I've got to say, but at this point, I did not know that the feast would come later. I assumed it, though, because I don't think that Mark would ever, or Marcos would ever make this

huge of a mistake. Anyways, we've got lobster bisque, which hails not from Spain, but from the land of butter and honey, France. And then we've got beef tenderloin, also known as filet mignon, also known as a simple cut for simple tongues. We've also got Mallorcan potatoes. Don't know. I really don't know the uniqueness or the benefit of Mallorcan potatoes. But, you know, I've got a lot to learn. And the most important thing about this dinner, though,

is that Tyler, the baby brother, is completely blacked out, and he demonstrates the... Oh. 77 pots. Oh, 77 pots? Tyler really demonstrates the power of sunglasses when you're trying to hide how fucked up you are. I've done it

with pot many times um when you're this blacked out they don't really help because it turns into as glenn said a weekend on partisan type of situation you know um but yeah what are your guys thoughts because to be honest i'm i'm i'm lost and i don't know why I'm still talking. It's okay. A couple thoughts there. You triggered a memory in my mind. When I worked at Whalen Park in Lemonster, Massachusetts, the amusement park, I worked for concessions. The food thing, I didn't get to be behind one of the games where people throw balls at things.

Oh, you didn't get to be a criminal? No. So my first job, and I thought it was kind of cool, and I'm thinking back now the labor laws and whatnot. But I get there at 10 o'clock, and every day they put me in the taco stand. They give me some taco meat and then some taco shells, and I was just the taco guy, you know? They're all by myself, right? So I decided a good way to kind of get through the day

is I just put sunglasses on, and I'd fall asleep. And then, you know, I... Sir? Sir? Yeah. That taco guy's a fucking asshole. Oh, uh... Just completely ignored him.

Oh, I'm sure that happened. There's either that, or is that taco guy dead? One note, it's Tyler, the guy who passed out, right? Yeah. Okay. Glenn walked by at some point did you see this it was really the like with the camera work there and and glenn was like hmm are you the the there was a the gears were turning gears were turning his head he said this would just be so easy if all of them just fell asleep like this sitting uh is it sitting

duck fish in a barrel yeah especially the way like they were snapping slapping him in the face nothing you could surgically remove any part of this man's body and the barnacle that said hey i could uh do with a little less uh glenn's a serial killer barnacle hey go fuck yourself where'd they say that i don't know okay so we'd like it less too i would say it's the man's only flaw the only flaw and his obsession with uh you know turning the boat to to a point which is honestly dangerous to maiming his passengers yeah that's also an issue right yeah yeah i will we will have captain glenn on this season i already talked to bravo pr and when we do uh with either one of you because you guys asked most of the

questions questions you better start off with gotta get this out of the way uh you better start off with so how'd you end up on the show and so and when we do have him on we will give him an open forum to deny deny deny which i'm sure he will innocent until guilty innocent until proven guilty so um everyone hammers the birthday cake tyler gets slapped in the face and told to go to sleep and we get to the next day next day but before we do let's take a quick break to talk about rothy's guys do you know how good it feels when you find a new obsession oh yeah it can lead you into beautiful places like alternate universe comic books you can meet incredible children who are super good at magic the gathering and you can blow a thousand dollars on cards.

Investments, you mean? Excuse me. But it still feels really good, you know, and Rothy's could be that new obsession for you. But it's not going to cost you all that money and it is going to be an even better investment than magic the gathering um now i of course know what rothy's is i love the product and they sponsor us but please tell me more about this and and its utility and what what it is yeah of course guys so um or

of course nick um rothy's best sellers um are the point and the flat now these are shoes that people magazine oh they're shoes people okay nice name the point um the best flat for their first ever ever style awards in 2021 that's fucking unbelievable okay in case you don't know uh you may have heard of the point in the flat from rothies but they also make insanely comfortable sneakers loafers ankle boots and more the best part is everything rothies makes is better for the planet they've repurposed millions of water bottles into their signature thread that goes into every single one of their products um guys my favorite thing about rothy's is their washability i mean just chuck them into the uh the old uh the spinny magoo what are those called a washer and a dryer yeah the two spinny magoo yeah they're clean as a whistle um because

shoes can get stinky but uh i also love their durability and i do love the fact that they're trying to make this planet a better place by giving people incredible shoes that are made from repurposed materials I'm so happy we got this sponsor because I'm not going to name the name of this competitor but I've been wearing recycled shoes for two years these are made of recycled materials but now I have a company I even believe in more in Rothy's and I can't wait to get some of their recycled sneakers yeah it's your new obsession. Step up your shoes and accessory this spring and get ready to be asked, are those Rothy's?

Plus, get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com slash below deck. That's rothys.com slash below deck. One word, right? One word. Oh, well, I guess it's the URL. Obviously, it's one word right one word oh well i guess it's if the url obviously it's one word but there's is there a key is there a keyword no it's just cool just rothys.com slash below deck guys go there and get incredible new obsessions for your feet so um uh next day next day marcos throws the fuck yeah what's up you should uh show up at the magic the gathering tournament with rothys you'd be the bell of the ball yeah and everyone would go are those rothys Marcos throws the fuck You should show up at the Magic the Gathering Tournament with Rothy's

You'd be the belle of the ball Are those Rothy's? So Marcos is throwing the fucked up crates At Gary who is kind of in Pelican mode this early in the morning Marcos is just Blowing it out of the water He's made an apple tart, some bacon

Chucked some cold cuts on the table too They cannot sail fortunately for them um and then we get a little sit down with daisy now we like daisy but my god is she hands off i mean second beach picnic she's just not fucking doing it she's sending the third stew out to do this and someone on the deck crew i mean daisy these people are paying sixty thousand it she's sending the third stew out to do this and someone on the deck crew i mean daisy these people are paying sixty thousand dollars she's fucking hung over dude yeah it's a really good point uh and if we didn't have her doing this we wouldn't have the show which is subjecting the wealthy to incompetence right what do you want to see people all right you want to

see uh her uh hand uh people paying sixty thousand dollars a day pre-wrapped sandwiches in saran wrap or do you want her making out uh at night till three out three in the morning well do you want to go to the beach picnic to have it set up beautifully and to have a badminton court that isn't seventeen dollars from big lots no you want that. Imagine if you're a serious family who's ready to get down on some fucking badminton. Yeah. Badminton. What a weird word. Shuttlecock.

Also known as shuttlecock. And then you get that thing. Oh, man. I would have been furious right there. It's like if you want to play bags and you just got those little guys. That's not bags, though. And the bag lands on it and the whole thing just bounces up. up yeah yeah it's not bad it's insane uh all right so then we get a weird hr moment when build your bags boards don't buy them from a sporty good store yeah get crafty out there

um we get a weird hr moment when gary and the sea dog go up to talk to their boss about who they want to fuck uh and glenn's taken aback. He's like, Gary, you're not fucking anyone? Come on, buddy. Although I think Glenn has his eye on little Gabby. Well, let's not... Let's give him the benefit of the doubt, okay? Well, she made it out of there. We interviewed her after she did her show.

He may be a serial murderer, but he might have just been talking about her work ethic and personality, okay? Don't put that evil on him. Ricky Bobby. All right. By the way, sidebar,

one of the charter guests, you tell me if I'm wrong. I know the audience will agree with me. One of them looked like Glenn. Did you notice that at all? They'd have some shots. And I thought it just confused me for a second. The one wearing the pink bra,

whoever the fuck that guy was. Can I tell you? Sure. No, I didn't notice. No, no, I didn't think that. Notice it. Okay. Well I tell you? Sure, sure. I didn't notice it either. No, I didn't think that.

Notice it. Okay, well, Barnacle's getting that Facebook. Yeah, join us on Facebook. Or Instagram. All right, so if I could just scroll down to where we are in the show. It's almost over. Tyler wakes up and faces the music. Yes, he does, and he's completely unashamed. He's here before he knows what to do much like the sea rats now if you're gonna get too drunk that the way he did it

is the way to go not put up a ruckus pass out in public you're fine don't do a some uh a fucking cannonball off the side of the boat and tell the captain to fuck off and yeah don't don't piss or shit everywhere don't grab a wages there don. Just go to bed. Go to sleep. Go to bed. Yeah, so the beach picnic is obviously a disaster. You know, we're coming off the heels of Chuck, Erica, and the walking Percocet. So next to them, I mean, these people are Dalai Lamas. So next to them, I mean, these people are Dalai Lamas. They're completely, they're not fine with it,

but they're pretty chill about going to a 95-degree beach with zero shade and then being served turkey sandwiches. Glenn, I want to, sorry, Dylan, I want to ask you about the food. My lips are so chapped. I mean, it's just unbelievable. The pain I'm going through. Can't we all agree? The pulled hamstring of a podcast. Can't we agree when you're paying $60,000 a day, we can get rid of the concept of sandwiches being served.

How about some, some nice cold pasta or do a salad, do some Syrah. He, and if you're going to do sandwiches, let's get the bread quality up and let's not have them wrapped in saran wrap. So even the warm ones get wet, wet, wet once they've hit the table. I mean, this is just shameful shit.

It's the only misstep Marcos has made. It's incredible. I don't care if pesto's on it. They're in saran wrap. He was thinking ahead, though. He wanted to spend a lot more time on dinner. So I'm going to shortchange him on their first meal but it's incredible that they're paying sixty thousand dollars a day and they had the same meal that i got for five dollars at the gas station and

shoved down my gullet right before we started no energy is important so uh speaking of food we can get to the prep of the feast now marcos knows exactly what he's doing he speaks of bomba one of the two rices that are appropriate for paella, calispar being the other as you guys know. We're not making risotto here, are we guys? We need something that doesn't leach starch like a sieve.

We need Bomba. Or calispar. We get a quick moment from glenn where he really fucking flames the other franchises of below deck when they are not able to sail he says if we don't have these up we're just a motorboat i mean chris tucker ice cube on the stoop i mean this was a damn kind of you know what i mean i said you know what I mean too many times, I think, tonight. But I know what you mean. But to your point, Glenn is ready to cut someone's fucking head off with that whole sailing business.

Yeah. But Eurus, the god of wind, was obviously taking a shit because there is no wind. Yeah, even gods have to have bowel movements, and that's a little known fact. Greek mythology. I love those classes in college. Yeah, you're have to have bowel movements, and that's a little known fact. Greek mythology. I love those classes in college. Yeah, you're a history buff. That's so funny. Eros was probably distracted, so then they're like, oh, my God, I take a ship, zipped up

his pants, and then it's too late. It's the middle of the night. Now you're going to kill everybody. Yeah, exactly. He's trying to make up for your tardiness. So before we get to dinner, we get Glenn telling the guests that they don't often get in the situation where they need to run or where they're in danger of running aground. But they always try not to. And so stay tuned for more on that.

Then we have weird corner of the room camera stuff, which is so common of this show. The weird one says she's so wet. And then there's another moment of someone saying they're wet. Would you guys calm the fuck down, okay? These producers of Below Deck, we've met them. They're dudes who live in Beverly Hills and drive really nice cars. I have a feeling they're dudes who live in Beverly Hills and drive really nice cars. I have a feeling they're... Just take it easy with the corner camera of a young woman

saying that she's wet from, you know, her work. You know what I mean? It's just fucking weird. All right, so let's head to dinner, which looks fucking incredible. We've got Galician octopus, gambas al ajillo, oysters with caviar, and calamaris en su tinta, which is in their own ink. And that's just the starters. The main feature, the centerpiece of this table, will be the paella, which is absolutely stunning from Marcos.

I've spoken about socarat being achieved many times on this podcast. Paella is one of my favorite foods. It's a very difficult thing to pull off, and he does it in spades. The scallops are sat in their shells perfectly, positioned to be consumed by wealthy trash the chorizo is rendered the onions were sweated to perfection and the sokarat has been achieved i mean it's just 90 pots it is the culinary arts it's an expression of culture people's history you know give spaz give fucking chef spaz ink as an ingredient and see what the hell he does with it i mean marcus as an ingredient and see what the hell he does with it. I mean, Marcus,

from hitman to culinary master, I'm so proud of you. I almost feel like we can forgive him for his past sins because he's so good now. Well, and also, there's really no way to pin down those sins. Many of it was done in remote corners of the earth.

So, should we move on to the episode? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tom is up late um you know i don't know what he's doing putting cushions on shit and then uh ashley heads up to give him some kissies and eros has zipped his or her pants up and um didn't even wipe didn't even wipe just had to get up there and start blowing. I mean, we go from five to 38 knots like that. And we are in danger of running aground.

Now, next week, we will obviously not. And it will be an anticlimactic start to this podcast. But what can you do? I mean, we only got 18 more episodes of this so i guess we'll see what they do with it and we'll see you next week for episode five of below deck sailing yacht guys rothy's manscaped magic mind go there if you need them and even if you don't go there and buy them we love you very much join us for below deck sailing yacht which is up now at patreon.com slash another podcast network nick quick errors and omissions eros which i knew at the time was

just yes anding uh is uh a god simply not of passion but fertility it was the name of the below deck med boat the god the greek gods of wind are uh collectively known as the anima uh yeah uh boryas of the north zephyrus of the west notice of the south and urus which now oh of the east i thought you said arrows you said urus egg on my face. There's no errors and omissions here. No, there was an errors and omissions there. Nope. We fixed it.

Nope error by anyone. See you guys next week. Can you imagine having friends that do this to you? Well, you do it to us too. That's a good point. It's important to be accurate. We'll see you next week. I'm Dylan saying goodbye.

Nick, say goodbye. Eurus. Pat, say goodbye. Yes. Pat, say goodbye. Later, dudes. Thank you.