Another Below Deck Podcast - Sea Rat Baby | Below Deck Med S10 E1

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

Dylan and Pat are back to break down goths, the french, Megan Rapino, michelin stars, scuba diving, Howard Stern, crypto and more from Bravo's Below Deck Mediterranean  PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Not only, okay, so let's tell the story. She felt... Hold on. How did he die, Del? She did not get into specifics, but it had something to do with diving. He drowned. Oh. How else do you die from diving? Well, like, I just wanted more like...

You're never going to believe this. He was diving, and he was robbed and stabbed by a fucking vagrant. He was shot underwater and stabbed. No, he drowned. Hi, hello, welcome to another brand spanking new season. Welcome aboard of Bray's spanking new season of that TV and below deck. I'm Dylan. That's Pat.

Permission to come aboard. Hey, what's up? Doing great. We got the TV. team back. I say hi, Caitlin. Hey, everyone. He's got the mic on. Okay. Well, um, we're recording below deck, so you know what day it is. It's buzz ball Friday. This buzz ball is so gross. It is a filthy drunk like me. I'm like, I don't know if I can finish this. That's how it's disgusting. What is it? Cherry. Look at the hue of cramberry. It's a cranberry buzz ball. By the way,

thank you for all the little baddies that posted, uh, various locations. where they were buying their buzz balls. Oh, is that on Facebook? Yeah. You've been thrown off, yeah. Yep. You know, I was talking to a young man. You know what?

Let me try that. Can I try that? Dylan, you're going to be so disgusted by this? I don't know. I might like it. I highly doubt that. This is a buzzball chiller, cranberry chiller. It's one of those things where it...

This is orange wine with cranberry juice and natural cranberry. It tastes like wine that's out of code. Which means gone bad. yeah yeah i don't know if i can finish that one heylin when you're not doing anything you can grab me the lime buzz ball holy fuck holy fuck i'm not gonna i'm not entertaining that any further that has a a sting going down like you're disgusting yeah it's pretty tough but listen we're here to talk about bellad deck in the comments let us know oh yeah what where you're getting your buzz balls no no a couple important things to address here because the show's never been bigger

guys we want to hit 2000 please you're listening to this on the bad tv feed go over to your apple podcast what i think caylin i was only fucking around thanks for doing that dude but i'll drink it thanks um get over there you know i hate when you treat him like a surf i was kidding i never talk to people that i work with that way and kailan what are you talking about i am the nicest person ever don't you dare okay please get the iTunes reviews Five stars, kind words. I'm going to pull up some right now. Okay.

Get us to 2000 for crying out loud. Get us to 10,000. We abandoned another feed that, another bachelor, whatever that feed was, that had almost 2,000. So technically we're like right around 4,000. All right. Anyways, get in the reviews. So get us some reviews.

And then also sign it for patreon.com slash another podcast network. We are doing three shows a week for $5. Oh, yeah. We're doing traders. Traders. We're doing real Housewives of Salt Lake City. which is so fun. There's one little wrinkle in that show

where one of the children is violently addicted to drugs and actually is in prison right now. Is he? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because Robert Jr., and we can be funny about it and light about it at Patreon out in the open field. No, no, they get really offended with things like this. Very sensitive.

So anyways, Robert Jr. broke into his wife's house because he's 21 and he has a wife, right? That's right. She's addicted to drugs too, I heard, allegedly. Well, so he crawls through the doggie door and, right? The father-in-law is trying to keep them separate, right? Because this Romeo and Juliet, it's more like Beth and Bill, right? They're fucking drug addicts, right?

And it's so fortunate that meth causes you not to have an appetite, so you can, in fact, squeeze through a doggy door. Oh, yeah, very skinny guy. So he squeezes through the doggy door to go see Beth, right? And then the dad's like, what are you doing here, Bill? I don't want you in here. they get into a fight, Robert Jr. beats the shit out of his father-in-law, so he's arrested for assault and battery. Allegedly. Allegedly. Right. Although not, though, I think it's just a fact that happened. I love what they put allegedly. By the way, Mary Crosby, keep putting your son on television when he's on drugs.

Patreon.com slash another podcast network. This review is from Oshby. More Ruby, please. I love the boys, but I get so excited when I hear Ruby. We'll be joining for an episode. Her intelligence and energy is a perfect edition and makes for a stellar triad. This is from ILO. Addicted five stars. My Bravo Week is not complete without the C-Rat analysis and conversational tangents from Pat and Dylan. Lay off the buzz balls.

Those things are nasty. Oh, wow. And that was five star. Yeah. It seems like the buzz balls are working. In what way? You just said one was so disgusting you couldn't drink it. No, no, no. I'm saying for me and my performance, it enhances it.

Don't lean on the buzz ball. You have everything you need inside. Caleb, how you doing? I'm good, Dylan. Great. So let's get... Well, we have dropped the Frazier interview. Dylan, you're not on Facebook.

You don't get the kind of shit that I get from these fucking barnacles. They're out there going, oh, I guess Pat got tricked again. The C Rack didn't show up, and I have to take all this. Because we did that recording two weeks ago. Because we have this deal with Bravo. We couldn't release it until after the season. It's unfair to me. I've been taking a lot of flack.

we did interview Frazier you're going to love that interview do you want to hear from Damo we can interview him too but I think we might be past it what do you think no I would love to talk to Damo it's just we got to get a scheduling thing going but we would love to talk to any and all sea rats okay not to me no no not she can go kick rocks yeah to me we're not a fan of uh you and your games Whoa.

Yeah, no, she's a fucking bitch. So anyways, let's get to the show. Right. All right. We have a new season. Same faces. A lot of same faces. A lot of same faces.

We've got Aisha. We've got Nathan who can't understand. I'm concerned about this young man. A second season can take a lot of people down. The aforementioned to me. Kyle, that guy who almost got his fucking leg ripped off. Oh, yeah. Who else?

Natalia, uh, Schrooter. Scrumer. Scrooter, whatever. Yeah. Yeah, it can ruin you. Don't show up for a second season if you looked good on the first season. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Well, he also seems wholly incompetent. I mean, he ends the episode by some kind of super expensive carnival game, wherein he's banging a jet ski against some piece of machinery. Light, I believe. I think you need those lights, too. Oh, yeah. You know, it's funny, is I'm kind of getting into the show a little bit,

but I'll get back to this with my thoughts and nods. Hey, we actually need that light, you know, right? I think so. Yeah. Nate, who I do like, I think he's a great guy. But in the teaser, which technically the new season didn't start, it showed... Sea Red, baby. Well, it shows him being a colossal fuck-up at his job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it comes back to him, and it's like nine months earlier, and he looks at us and he goes, you know, but nothing else matters because I impregnated my coworker, right? That's some A grade C-Rat logic there. 100%. And also A-grade C-Ret logic leaves out the fact that you have to provide for that child. Yeah, which would mean you're still dating her. Once again, amazing stuff. Yeah, no, you can't be bad at career stuff when you have children. You can. It's just kind of stressful. But C-Rats are very accustomed to stress, anxiety, and the entire lot of it. Pat, what did you think about the first episode?

All right. Great first start. It's a very odd choice to have Max back. I sometimes wonder, like, did he hire a lawyer to say, you made this guy look so bad. You have to have him a redemption season. Yeah, he's an interesting guy. You know, I feel like Max. So the season of OG that we just watched is the best season of this show in a while because the casting was so phenomenal. They need not caricatures, which I fear is what Max is, this kind of hand-up, Dr. Seuss Frenchman, yeah. So we don't need that. What we need, the best thing about Max is that Max is so French that he just, he will be at work and go, I don't know, I don't feel like doing this. I think I'm going to quit. That's the good thing about Max, not this. And if you're French, we don't think that of you as

Americans. No, I think you're fucking mean. Right. Yeah. And also, listen, I don't know. You guys make great fries, dressing. Right. Well, all stirred. Thanks for democracy. Um, but also like, I'm not a fan of a well-cooked steak, but like the French have to cook their meat. Like, that's not cooked. That's, that's, that's crazy, right? And then you go and then they go, oh, you're disgusting Americans. But they're so skinny over there. Yeah. All right, I'm finishing my thoughts. I know, I know.

All right. Season looks, I'm very optimistic about this season. Is there a little bit of a lull there? I feel like me talking about the meat kind of lulled us a little bit. No, we're good. Oh, you're up in your head, I like the French jokes. All right. Okay.

I can't wait for that charter where they have like a matchmaking thing. See, that's a new young producer coming in there or an old one using rehashing old ideas. You remember Patty? Patty Stanger. Oh, yeah. She's awesome. Yeah. By the way, go back and watch like.

season one, two, three, and four what she would do to women that were showing up at her office. I love that character. Your hair looks horrible. We lose some weight, fatty. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. She, no, she was disgusting. And, and that man that worked with her, that, the Mohawk guy, the Mohawk guy. And him and his wife. Picked it up. The goth, the goth couple. Yeah, goths are, goths weird me out. The problem with a goth person is they have to take on that persona in every aspect of their lives. They have to have the car from the late 60s.

They have to always have a lot of spray. They're both so white that they're luminous and also the darkest kind of aura I've ever seen. So it's very confusing, but we have to get into the show. I wanted to briefly mention, though, that it was really funny that we just came up

with that octogenarian character that loves Bravo's matchmaker. What was that show called with Patty Jenkins? Millionaire matchmaker. Millionaire matchmaker. Although she did a couple spinoffs, one with Nick Vile, who hated being on the show called Hotel Matchmaker or something like that. All right.

Anyways, let me give my thoughts and pots. I thought the episode was all over the place. Thought the episode was all over the place. Well, people had food poisoning. We have a lot of, and we'll get to that. Like, hey, it's a little cooked for me, okay? Everyone at the hotel got food poisoning. Yeah, okay.

We all ate the fish. Well, we'll get to it. I thought it was all over the place. And a lot of death this episode. We've got boyfriends dying. We've got bosses on yachts dying. Okay, so we have some sea rat scale to get to. Some people were awarded points.

I think that barnacles would be very happy. Yeah. Big sea rat's that scale tonight. So I thought it was a horrible episode, actually. A really bad start to the season. I'm going to give it two pots. Okay. Yeah.

Why don't you kick things off? well we already covered this we begin with like a long teaser and then they say nine months earlier but not really it's actually uh yeah and hey something else okay we got a sea rat baby fucking give's a shit don't fucking don't drag that carrot in front of us oh that's not a fucking carrot did you watch that's a sea rat baby did you watch the trailer for the season where gale confronts him yeah lots of bad decisions Lots of them. Well, where it's a show about sea rats.

So the past charter season, oh my God, see, this is the past charter season has been one of the toughest times of my ta'allah. I can't understand what he's saying. He's such a nice guy. Yeah. But yes, we do have a sea rat baby. I have a note here. Sorry, this is not a good start.

Someone told us about how much they spent on water. Oh, yeah, when they're doing all the... The montage of all the sea rats getting on planes to fly to Barcelona. I spent $4 on a bottle of water. It's like, one, why are you talking about that on this show? And two, who's confused about water being more expensive at airports? You're locked in. You can't go back through security.

It's price gouging. I don't know how it's legal. Nailed it. Jesus. All right. So we begin in Barcelona. Now, this is a place we know, right? Usually this show takes place and far flung atolls and shit I've never fucking heard of.

Yeah, we were in Somalia last season. It was weird. And they didn't get any clearance to show the violence, although there was tons. It's like, well, just put that on the show, right? But Barcelona is a metropolitan heaven in Iberia. I mean, you know it. Ham, Leo Messi. It's nice to know that we're out of place. I just feel a sense of ease.

So what you're pointing out is why Sandy wanted to come back here. Well, it feels like home. And there's soccer here. And also the place has a lot of history. Yes, it does. Dare I say all places have history. Not a lot. I mean, Barcelona is a pretty.

It's a beautiful place. Have you ever been? No. I don't know what you would do there. Well, what would you eat? You wouldn't eat the ham. You don't like ham. It makes your stomach.

I'm sure they have McDonald's there. They do, yeah. Would you eat octopus? No. Would you eat paella? No. I went to a Korean barbecue place one time, and I don't know why they had octopus that was alive there. But you throw it on the fucking grill, and you cook it.

And then my buddy Jay goes, here, eat this. He cut off one of the tentacles. I swallowed it just to be nice, because that's how I am. and the little tentacle wiggled, still alive, you know, kind of, all the way down my throat. How stupid is this water bottle? Look at this water bottle. Pretty soon people are going to be walking around with five gallon buckets.

I mean, we're getting stupid with that. I mean, look at how stupid this thing is. I just got this thing and it came and I was like, this is so stupid. At some point, Apple's going to figure out a way to, like, monetize that. They're going to put, like, you can press a button and play music off your thermos. Yeah. Look at this. I look like a fucking miner

Yeah Going down to the coal mine all day You need something to nourish you While you're shoveling God damn it All right Where are we? I don't know

Okay You know believe it or not It's our job to cover this show Right Okay so Asia Walks up first Kermit This is

This is gorgeous She's great This is gorgeous Now listen Asia is one of the these people. Pat has misophonia with Asia's base. I am.

And listen, I would love to one day have Aisha on the show. So she won't come on. Well, maybe during her honeymoon, which will take place in a field with both her and Scott would take shits in buckets. Okay. Hand life. We got to be, we got to be us,

but I think it would, it's widely within the realm of possibility that we have A. Sean on the show. I'd like to speak to her. So I don't want to stop. us, but Asia's personality is the kind of personality. You meet these people in life, right? They're hyper energetic and hyper optimistic to the point where you feel like there's

an uncanniness to it and you're like, this can't be real. No, it's off-putting. But they just are like that. Asia, this is not an act. This is who Asia is. She's just a lovely human being. I'll put something out there. Have you met Kermit?

Was she mean to you? Did you walk up to her a restaurant? She was like, um, pat. Sorry. She wanted to finish her taco. She was rude to you, said no photos. Could you step back? Did Kermit do that to you? Let us know. I'll read your critiques of her. Fucking Megan Rapinoed you. That's right. That says there. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And Megan Rapino is a very talented soccer player. Oh, yeah. She's still play? She pisses people off, man. All right. Anyways, sunk into politics. It's crazy. Megan Rapino is a real lightning rod human being. I mean, bring up Megan Rapino. People are like, oh, I fucking hate that. Okay, anyways. I'm sure she's fine.

Yeah. Asia's one of those people like we talked about. I think this is just her, but we have some bad news. And it's not that Asia has ever been on the market outside of, you know, the filthy scouser in our first season. But she's been with Scott for a long time. But as much as we love married people or as much as we love Asia, I don't want committed sea rats on these vessels. I do not want people in monogamous relationships of any severity on this show. You're a C-Rat.

You're single perpetually. What are we doing? I don't know. You know what happens is that kind of crazy. And that Bravo crew, they get together and they're like, you know, we did these tests and focus groups love Kermit. Let's get her back. Yeah. That's why we need to produce the show.

I know. Okay. So, Aisha meets Josh. and gypsy. This is the chef of this season. He's worked at Michelin Star Restaurants. They all do. They all do. I wonder if 30 seconds

to Mars was pissed when he left the band to go cook on this boat, you know? Yeah. The kings and queens of promise. God. Can we all admit that band sucks? I mean, I have a soft spot in my heart for 30 seconds to Mars. We've discussed this before. When I was into emo music, when I

was a young boy, you know, 30 seconds to Mars was was all the fucking fleak or whatever it is you know so um Jared let us weird but he also can't sing he does the breathy over effective bullshit he's got a great voice he's got great voice okay so she meets the reject from 30 seconds to Mars he is the new chef he has a guitar with him another thing that is and I'm sorry to be pessimistic about this season but can't have engaged or married people on this boat and also don't pretty look Don't bring the guitar. No guitars.

No guitars are allowed. The rooms are too small. Now, I had another problem with him, Dill. He meets Sandy and Josh tells her he's not going to let her down. I was like, don't make promises you absolutely can't keep. Well, and despite him being what is, you know, evidence later on in this episode of very talented chef, Sandy gets bugs.

And if she's got a bug, you're fucked. I mean, you could be serving the best food you've ever, served and fucking Kiko or whatever his name is going to come on the boat and start fucking flipping brownies out to people, you know? Yeah. Frazier is excellent as his job. Sandy hated Frazier. Well,

the reality gaze, Matt and Jake told us why. Oh, he's a twink and they have these little wars between each other. The lesbian twink war. Yeah. It's like the Korean and the Chinese. Is that right?

Mm. Wow. Or the Japanese. But they all hate each other over there. My God. We got to stop hate. I think so, too. I think so, too.

Now, Dill, you glossed over this. The boat is called bravado. And I think Sandy Brags that it has a lot of new technology. I just hope it doesn't tip over like that last jalopy. Remember those? Oh, yeah. The stabilizer. The stabilizer, which is the exact opposite.

It didn't stabilize at all. They'd go on and it almost tipped the fucking thing over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would ask for my money back. Give me the money back. These are called stabilizers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are we at six flats?

Mets? No, I'm going to go. So we then get some really disjointed shots of the Frenchman. Uh-l-la-la. I like this guy. Again, there's too much of an act with this, but sorry to be redundant. There's nothing funnier to me than people who are, they're outside of the Matrix, right? So are you referring to Nate at this point?

I'm referring to Maximilian. Okay. He is not in the source code of this vessel, right? All these other sea rats are like, we got a job to do. And he's just like, I don't feel like, I don't feel like doing this. I think I'm actually going to quit. Like, that is so funny to me. I hate to make an archetype here, but we've had several Frenchmen come on this boat.

And they are all the same behavior. Ole Soleil last season. London, and then there was one that was like he told Sandy at some point that he hadn't eaten that day. That might have been Max, actually. And then she went and checked with the chef. She said, did you feed this idiot? And he's like, yeah, there's a pile of pasta over there. Yeah.

And then she was like, well, what's going on? And he's like, it's not about the food. It's about vitality. I'm missing an enthusiasm for this. And I know that I said it was because the chef didn't feed me and you should fire him. but it wasn't about that. It was really me not having a lust for this. And Sandy's just like, okay.

Yeah. What do we do? All right, so we get to Kizzy. Hold on. Before we get to Kizzy, Nate calls it. He texts his or FaceTime Sandy. No, he texts her.

He's not going to be there for the first day of work because I think he was. We'll get to a FaceTime of him later, looking absolutely fine. And I'm like, all right, producers. Yeah, I think it was a huck and some baby back. or around. You know what I mean? You're talking about semen. Yeah.

All right. Well, let's get to Kizzy, who Josh thinks is hot because she is. But we'll learn more about Kizzy later on as we go. Tom Likas might have something to say about her. What? Well, later in the episode, she brags that she has the boys wrapped around her finger. She's like a puppeteer.

Yeah. And then Tom Likis, of course, an icon in the Manist. A very insulting, misogynist prick. Ugly, ugly human. Oh, he's disgusting. He lives in a cave now. But back in his day, he would tell little jizzy that, uh, dear, yes, you're hot now. And then he'd compare her to, um, some, uh, love of bread on the shop shop.

Yeah. You see that little, uh, that little stamp that has an expiration date, dear? Well, listen, listen, I don't fault Kizzy for manipulating gypsies like Josh into doing her bidding while she can, you know, it's a little bit. like Cam Scataboo, right? So Cam Scataboo is going to shoot himself in the chest in four years. But while he's playing football, he's playing football. Right, right. You know? So anyway, sorry for that. No, no, no, no. So Josh tells us some tales from the kitchen. We've heard these tales so many times before the chefs. You know, there are, it's really understated how volatile kitchens are. I mean, you hear these stories.

It's like the music business and agencies and kitchens. Like at the highlight, levels of these things. People are just grabbing lowlings by the collar and threatening to kill them all the time. So let me get to that C-Rat history here, Dill. Josh takes us a walk down memory lane. Apparently he worked at a Michelin Star Restaurant and his coworker or boss tried to cook his face on a flat top. Yeah. And then his uncle had sex with his wife. I mean, listen, we've seen it before. But yeah, no, it was a hot pass. It was a crime. It was a crime. actually but stuff like that happens all the time all right i'm going to do something that we have not done in a very long time because someone technically tried to kill you in a horrific way josh i'm going to

award you a half a point on the sea rat sad scale that is absolutely crazy fighting off someone trying to push your cheek down on a burning uh it's not burning it's a hot pass it's a warmed piece of metal that keeps food warm it's a oh would it be uh would it be hot to the touch Yeah, it would be warm to the touch. You would be rosy. Bath water? Hot shower water. Oh, okay.

Sorry, Josh. I'm going to have to remove that half a point. Minus five points. Thank you. Sorry. I was so concerned there for a second. Thank you for the clarity. I don't hand those out like Michelin stars.

That's what I was so confused about. You got a fucking hot dog stand and Van Nuys are like two Michelin stars. What? Yeah. Give me a break. It's like. Well, they put chili on it. Oh, okay.

Hey, Michelin, what are you doing, pandering to the working class? It's disgusting. You know what they got to do? That's not you. They have to say, we only have 50 Michelin stars for the entire planet for five years. Kill each other. And you can take some away. Right.

They should treat restaurants like the Joker treated those two guys that wanted to get in the crew. Break a pool, a cue and half. They figure it out. And yeah, exactly. We're awarding Michelin recommendations for oaky dogs. That's a hot dog wrapped in a tortilla with chili on top of it. What are we fucking talking about? What happened to us?

All right. So the French are very romantic. Max calls Kissy a visual dildo. We meet the new stew. Her ass is fat and her hair is curly. What's her name? The Cuban? V.

Very simple. V. V. I wish more people had names like this. Yeah. Yeah, Latina from Florida. Before we keep on moving, keep on grooving and a moving and a grooving and a moving. We've got to talk about something.

Yeah, a sponsor. And Nate, if you're listening, take note here. You're making, well, you're prematurely balding. I don't know if this sponsor can do anything about that. But you're making poor life choices. Yikes. And maybe you need to make a call. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Who should you call, Dale? Rula. and Rula can help with lots of things. If you needlessly attack people's hair, Rula can help. Can't attack something that's not there, you know? Listen, Rula is in network therapy. Likely, it's covered care for most major insurances.

The average co-pay for Rula patients is $15, but depending on your benefits or your co-pay, it could be as little as zero dollars, all right? It's true end-to-end care. Rula is committed to supporting you and staying with you every step of the way on your mental health journey from finding the right therapist

to helping you schedule appointments and monitoring your progress. Rula is there to help. Legitimately, we have a case study in here. Pat was down in the dumps, a poopy diaper, and then he went to Rula, and he's been funnier and more bright than ever. Yeah.

I'm not even, I know they don't, want us cussing, so I'm not going to. I'm not even freaking kidding about this one bit. I'm awesome now. And it's, I owe it to Rula. For 15 bucks, uh, I went through a couple therapists because you're able to do that with this program. You're not connecting with someone. I connected with someone. I feel better now. My comedy is better. Uh, my kids love me. You're a better father. A better father. My wife, uh, can't stand me. Uh, but that's so, uh, thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable high quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance, visit Rula.com slash bad TV to get started. After you sign up, they'll ask how you heard about

them. Please support our show and let them know that we are the ones that sent you. That is bad TV and that is RULA.L.A.com slash bad TV. You deserve mental health care that works for you, not against your budget. All right. So we meet this, this V. She's from Florida There's also a Colombian pilot on this boat, the plane, the plane. He was a midget, though, right? Yeah, man. I might still have that. God, I missed that clip so much.

Do you remember? Tattoo. Are you aware that South Park has turned J.D. Vance into tattoo? Yes, they have. So anyways, also Nathan isn't there. And also one of the stews is not there. so we have this this crew meeting and um um um oh no no no no the stew meeting first so asia is looking at oh hold on you skipped over something another very important sea rat uh history

what okay um this is uh we're all over the place today i apologize it's my fault forgive me i believe this was christian arrives we've glossed completely over this young man The plane, the plane. Deplane, to plane. But get the sea rat history. He was a pilot. He was well respected. Ladies were throwing their vaginas at him, right?

Which is pretty important to him, it appears. And then he changed careers to be a sea rat. Something's not adding up here. Oh, I love that. Now, maybe he crashed one of those planes in some mountains or something, and he ate a couple of the passengers. I could see that. Oh, no.

I can see him. Yeah, yeah. So something like a crash landing for sure. And then there was a survivor. He figured that there was no way both of them were going to get out of their lives. So he just killed the person. I mean, they could have done it, right? But he just said no.

Well, he looked at him. He's like, you know, dude, you look, your face looks pretty bad. I mean, it's not going to work out. You know, I'm going to eat you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we've got a cannibal murderer on this boat. That's right. That's actually pretty crazy.

And if that happened, that would be I'd award him half a point. Now, that's what I'm talking about. that's the stringency of the C-Rat-Sat scale, okay? Because think about that. I mean, that's a pretty brutal experience, crash landing and having to murder somebody. Now, I know we already said this, but Nate FaceTime Sandy.

He also has foodposting, eat charcoal bricks, people. I want to talk about this. Like two years ago. Yeah. You can buy them at CVS. Yes. They soak up all that bacteria.

Then you shit black. That some chef had, you know, he left a chicken on a table for four days. and then he served it. Oh, sorry, sorry, my bad. What do you mean? You're bad. You almost killed me.

God damn it. That's why we have John Taffer around. What is going on in this eye hop? You never saw the episode where he gave a dude a heart attack. The poor old Latin man that had been cooking in this little small place for like 40 years. Your beans suck! The guy got so upset, he had a heart attack right in front of him. I can't believe they kept that.

on camera. Yeah, they got to, I mean, John Tavers is going to be careful. Anyways, Nathan FaceTiming, Sandy. Not good for Nathan, regardless, because if this isn't, as far as I can tell, the only reason he's not on this boat is from production. Because if you have

food poisoning, but you have food poisoning that's not bad enough to prevent you from FaceTiming in a fairly put together manner with your boss you need to be on the boat I mean food poised

I will say there is get on the boat there is a stage and it comes after you're looking up at the sky and saying just take my body let me die now there is a recovery stage where you're like I think I can talk to people now I haven't had food poisoning in like five or six years

but having it three times in my life I've always wanted to die but then I had like I'm going to live. I know, but if you get to that point and you're the boats and you've got to go to the boat. If you shit yourself, I mean, there's plenty of chemicals we can use to wipe it off the teak. Okay. This is a very important position.

All right, call me old fashion. Let's get to the stew meeting. Aisha is staring down the barrel at a decision. She's got to give one person, second stew, and the other person not. One has worked on yachts, big yachts for a long time. And the other one cleans puke out of coolers on fishing trips in Florida. Yeah. So she goes with the other one.

Yeah. Laundry dungeon for V and Kizzy will be the second. So what's your experience? Oh, well, I like, I'm really good at, like, mopping up fishheads and giving people to the police. Okay. We're going to be in the laundry dungeon. Yeah. Well, Aisha has a.

poem. I'm a bit worried about... It's a haiku, do. Haiku. Go ahead. V is an imbecile. Okay. I was wondering if you're going to have this verbatim or not. Oh, no, I don't. But that was the gist of it. V's an imbecile and I think Kizzi's competent. Well, she says I'm a bit worried about V because it sounds like Brie and I have PTSD from last season's laundry.

Not bad. Not bad at all. Actually quite beautiful. Brie went under the radar and we don't need to go into the past because we can't change anything about the past, right? She floated under the radar as one of the most incompetent people that this show has ever seen.

I don't know why she was on the show for as long as she was. I didn't think that she was that interesting. She was a very frustrating watch for me personally. We work pretty hard, so I was just like, what is going on here? Occasionally casting makes a bad pick. They did it with Davidil for yachting, sailing, whatever that was.

Just bad moves. Yeah. You know, she was one of them. Oh, hello. I once pretended to be a vampire bat in a zoo cage, but it was sanctioned by a German DJ. Oh, her. No, no, no. Vampira.

No, that's daffodil. Oh, but, oh, yeah, that's right. But Vampira was also a bad pick. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, anyways, Nathan calls. He feels too sick to get on the boat. We get to a crew meeting. and Sandy says, you will have the wrath of me.

You will have the fucking wrath of me if you do not listen to your department heads. We meet Ben and Bjark. Meet these two orgs you'll never see again unless you're enlisted to throw them raw meat scraps down on the bowel of the vessel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, we did see one of those orgs later on

when Nate was fucking up so bad. Yeah. He's like, I need to talk to somebody because I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, these guys are really fascinating because usually human beings need cooked meat. It's just eating it raw is very difficult on our stomachs.

But not engineers on below deck. They're like carrion birds. They'll just rip into just massive cuts of raw steak. And they're pretty horrifying creatures, actually. And they discussed me. Okay, so let's meet the rest of the sea rats. The Cuban v. How they love in Mexico.

She had a boyfriend in Mexico. So hold on, Dale. This is where Kermit, she's making a bed with her subordinates. And they learn a little bit about each other and get the 4-1-1 on relationship status. Kizzy is single and V, the Latina from Florida. It's also single. Because her boyfriend's dead. Yeah.

A quarter of a point only because I think Kizzy laughed about it. He's dead. Yeah. So not only, okay, so let's tell the story. She felt. Hold on. How did he die? She did not get into specifics, but it had something to do with diving.

He drowned. Oh. How else do you die from diving? Well, like, I just wanted more like... You're never going to believe this. He was diving and he was robbed and stabbed by a fucking vagrant. He was shot underwater and stabbed. No, he drowned.

Wow. Yeah. So listen. You know, and all these kooky people, I don't know why you people do. do this shit. Did you see this Brazilian guy that jumped down the ramp today or yesterday? No. 250 foot quarter pipe. It's a free fall on a skateboard. You got up to like 70 miles an hour. What are you doing?

Why are you doing that? People that free dive, Ruby tells me about this documentary about these people that free dive with no oxygen tanks. Yep, turns out you ended up dead. You died. I'll say this. I'm not one of them, but I'm so happy that there are people within our species that are are willing to kill themselves to prove that mankind and womankind are willing to take risk. Yeah. And are meant for land. Mm-hmm. I'd never scuba dive.

Ever. Ever. Ever. Got it. Got it. Okay. Oh, yeah. Kizzy, she's a decorator.

Watch out, Bugsy. Her job was being, oh, yeah, oh, this is Kizzy. She was great at her last job. We are awful tonight in recapping this show. Sorry, sorry. It's fine. I just watched it.

She was great at her last job because her boss was dead. Yeah, okay. And I think we'd all be good at our jobs if our boss was dead. Oh, my God. I take long lunches. Oh, yeah. How's he going to know? Or her.

Yeah, they're dead. Do you guys want to do kebabs today? Yeah, can you get the Amex out of his pocket again? I feel, like, I feel a little fucked up. Done it for the last four days. Like, let's... He's dead. He won't care.

What's he got to do? He's starting his smell and his phone's been ringing like, Crazy. Throw them off the side of the boat. Yeah. I was, okay, so back to the Cubans boyfriend drowning.

Mm. You know, or being hit by a car underwater. Sorry, sorry. It's not, I'm not trying to mock you. I'm just,

it's funny to me that, like, it's like an arrest development bit. Like, he was underwater. Oh, he drowned? No,

actually, he was a gunned down. Um, what? You know, even funny. Yeah. bad drug deal gone south yeah yeah exactly uh okay so um

i we can't we can't keep going down this okay all right so the guy dies she's recounting this story she's uncomfortable and chuckling about it because it's so heartbreaking kizzy is not only laughing about it but kizzy seems to be sizing the up here like there's a there's a look um a little askance here where she's like, are you trying to get a little camaraderie with the boss here? Now, maybe I'm projecting and putting too much of that on Kizzy, but I think Kizzy might be evil. Who knows?

Well, I like Kizzy. She's my kind of spirit, joking about death. I have a bit on PMZ where I bring up a bunch of people that just died. You do. So Max is really commanding the vessel and annoying the plane, the plane. and we go to bed. We wake and get a bunch of meanwhiles.

Josh is an artist. Yeah. He's a creative type, right? I totally get what he's saying here. When he was working in those Michelin Star restaurants, they wouldn't let him listen to music or anything while he was working. Yeah. Although I'd say in a kitchen, I've worked in a kitchen,

never needed music. But when I worked at North American Insurance, I used to listen to Howard Stern for the first three hours of my workday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were kicking around the idea at some point. of making us not be able to listen to anything while we were doing data entry, you know? And then I was like, oh, my God, I'll kill myself. Right, right, right.

That's like taking away smelling salts for, you know, I mean, it's not okay. Human beings need stimulation. Oh, yeah. You're going to make data entry people just raw dog data entry. They're going to stage a mutiny, okay? You'll be fucking flayed and hung by the outside. side of the building. I remember my first day, they go, do you know how to type?

I'm like, no. They go, I go, what, it's my job? And they go, all right, you're going to need these stacks of paper. Here's a computer. You're going to type what's on the paper into the computer for eight hours a day. Right. I was like, oh, all right. I'll do that.

Can I listen to Howard Stern bring mentally handicapped people into the studio and ridicule them because they can't add? Oh, it's a different time, Jill. It's so funny. Uh, okay, so, um, it, they were, and this is the worst episode we've ever done, I think. No, Kaelan, how do you think we're doing? I love it. We're so all over the place.

Listen to Kaelin. But those, those, those clips from the Howard Stern show of, um, I mean, his name was Gary the retard. Yeah. And, uh, Wendy, the retard, too. And forgive us for using those R words. We're directly quoting the names that Howard Stern did. Right.

Exactly. Um, if we, if we, if we, If we were to read from Catcher in the Rye, right? You wouldn't want us to... No, no, no. You'd want it straight. Okay, so anyways, who was the other one? There was Gary and then there was the...

Wendy. No, no, no, there was the black guy. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Okay, so Beetlejuice and Gary were going... I can't see each other. There you go. Beetle juice.

Beetle juice. what is two plus two can you believe but petal juice would just go 30 and he'd go okay now take your time

beetle juice two plus two and then he would take his time and he would just say 30 again no that's wrong do you remember when Um, Howard convinced Gary, and wrong.

Gary built a rocket ship and they sent him to the moon. Okay. Here's what I would say. It's wrong to laugh. But also, it's wrong to bury your past like Howard Stern has. Just own it, you idiot. Don't fucking fake to be like a. All right.

Let's get to the crew meeting. We've already done that. Where the fuck am I? It's time for the, Sheet meeting. Yes, we have a bunch of douchebags, says Kermit. No, no, no. More importantly, we have iPads.

That's a big deal. Oh, wow. That is a big deal. Everybody's got iPads. But yeah, everyone's a douchebag that's about to come on to this. Also, what the hell's going on here? No food preferences? These people, you know a dime a dozen of these in L.A.

People that walk in say they have a bunch of money, say this. is how they make it. They don't really make, it doesn't make any sense. And then three years later, you find out that they were indicted on fraud charges. Nailed it. I'll skip ahead for a second.

Kermit makes small talk with one of the crypto creeps. One of them notes that, you know, I can buy crypto and just have like 10 million bucks delivered to my house. And just as Dylan said, when you're this person, I know the house will fucking crumble because you're saying things like this and you remind me of the idiot real estate.

people from 2008 crisis bragging about money this will never end yep idiots we've got a water coin and bitcoin extravaganza they want to do they want to go to the town of peaches or something but the guests arrived um they immediately start with um the the yacht's okay it's not the best i've ever had yeah and i got a question for you fuckos if you're so wealthy and you charter yachts all the time what are you doing on below deck which has a heavily discounted price for this kind of vacation. Nailed that. Okay?

Mm-hmm. Losers. Yeah. Also, one of the guests is like, well, these cabins are the size pretty small. I'm like, oh, I guess you need more room to store that pretend money you have. You know? Yeah. And it's not pretend money.

Okay. It is the blockchain. It is the way of the future. All right. Okay. When's a bad time to buy Bitcoin? Never. says the guy on his morning vlog.

So Sandy lived in Barcelona 15 years ago, and she knows this doc. Impossible. Impossible. I mean, maybe, but I'm sure the doc's changed a little bit. She said it was like riding a bike. Sandy, you haven't been here in almost two decades. What are we talking about?

But to be, to be fair to her, it didn't have that little bridge thing that Captain Kerry had to deal with. It was open water. Yeah. You're just like, you know. I mean, Like, they pulled this off somehow, but his team is greener than what was coming out of his ass eight hours early.

Uh-huh. Yeah. So they leave the duck and they leave the plank out. You know, you're supposed to walk the plank when it's not moving. I miss One Piece so much. I want to get back into One Piece. Kalan, do you ever watch One Piece? No.

Yes, and. In Dubai, one of the people says you can buy anything with crypto and you can order cash to your house. to the bros online, to the UFC, to the crypto people. You can stop pitching Dubai. Stop it. You can stop pitching Dubai to us, though, right? Is this them buying, like, influencers to try and get us there? I don't know.

By the way, you can go online right now and get a seven-day, seven-night's six-day trip with plane included for $1,200. Well, it's this crazy thing where it's like, I want to be in a play. No one wants to go there. I want to be in a place where it's, like, okay to drink everywhere. I don't want to be in a place where, like, you can drink, but also you can buy human beings at the place where you're going to. You know, it's like, also, 118 degrees. So stop pitching to buy.

No, no, no. Oh, God. All right. So, um, I wanted a vacation in a sauna for three weeks. Gail and Nathan broke up. We learn. And they're friends now. They're friends now.

More doucheback stuff from the charter guest, 30 million dollar budget and whatnot. Oh, yeah. And as you pointed out, then why the fuck are you on this boat? Yeah. Okay. To quote another icon in the manosphere,

Kid Rock, I'm sure a bunch of our listeners are big fans of Kid Rock. Oh, yeah. No, our fans love big kid rock people. Oh. This is in reference to Nate breaking up with Gail, who was so hot and way out of his league. Oh, yeah.

But he said, you know, I kind of need to be a guy right now for a little while. Kid Rock once said, again, this is very inappropriate. Referring to dating Pamela Anderson, do you remember this quote? No. Even 14-carat P-word. Oh, my God. Eventually gets old. That's what, uh...

Can I, you know, I'm so sick of like... But guys are pigs. Women need to understand this. Like, young guys, look how beautiful Gail was. For most guys, she would be like, I can't believe she would like me. Can I do, can I like, forgive me, I'm in a politic for one second. And I think this is fairly universal. We do this thing where we normalize people that we know are awful people.

You know, like Bill Maher sits down with Kid Rock and he's like, what's the problem with people? You're a lovely guy. He loaded up an assault rifle and shot a ton of bud light cans when he heard there was a trans person on a couple of them. What are we doing? This guy's a fucking lunatic, okay? Jesus Christ. I thought that was really stupid.

Let the market, let the market decide. But also that act. Like, I've got some time to kill on my Minnesota ranch. I'm going to go stack up some Bud Light and shoot it with a gun. And then Bill Maher's like, like, I don't get what people don't like about you. All right. His music. Everything else.

The naughty boys are out. And Nathan wants them out in 45 minutes. crew is going to be a complete disaster under Nathan's guidance, okay? He's not cut out for this job. I see him gone in five episodes. I kind of see that, too. Sometimes when you look at someone and you can see in their face, like, with determination or something, he has fear.

Fear. And he's way over his skews here. Not ready for the station. So let's get to lunch. Oh, yeah. I'm curious about that. One of these, they're joking at the table that one of these guys had a 22-year-old Russian as his private chef.

Definitely that, but also if it's true, like, we know what you're doing, you fucking fat, disgusting pig. God, these people, these people are pretty gross. I want to look into their finances. Yeah. All right. Lunch was insane. Rib, I seebass with ginger chili sauce.

a lovely light but bountiful meal i would say this is a phenomenal start from really from the gypsy king yeah seemed a little heavy there were well yeah it i said bountiful but but all of the stuff was was rather light outside of the rib eye okay but these are you know these are crypto bros you got to throw a steak out there yeah they need so they can think um and also you need the leftovers to throw down to uh biorc and the Orgs. And bark. Yeah.

Okay. So the exterior is rat fuck like we mentioned. We have a little flirtiness between Josh and Kizzy. This is where Kizzy starts to... That's right here. Okay. She will wrap you around her finger. We get to a Bitcoin party.

Wonka meets crypto. This is one of the most disgusting... And I'm sorry if I'm negative tonight, but one of the most disgusting table settings we've seen in some time. It made no sense. It was Bitcoin meets Willie Wonka. Why? No clue.

There are lollipops everywhere. And I don't really... What does that have to do with? I don't really understand what they were, quote-unquote, going for, right? So anyways, the interior is doing well. Kizzy and the Cuban are already poking each other in the butthole, so that's good. And then we get to a little bit of an exterior issue. The jet ski is floating off, and Max, who is, again, not in this reality, jumps into the water.

with under no order, no command, no nothing, just jumps in the water to swim after it, completely needless. And Nathan looks up at Sandy and says, I'll have a meeting about that. Yes, we will. Yeah, yeah. So the crypto-themed dinner happens,

and we end with Nathan slamming the jet ski into what Pat described as something you might need on the boat. So we'll pick it up next episode. It looks like he did a significant, amount of damage to the jet ski to the boat and to himself so sorry about this episode why are you apologizing these things that people love okay Caitlin you've been listening to us for five years yeah where do you rate this on a scale of one to ten ten being awesome give it a solid seven wow that's pretty good see I think it was I think that's a fair rating get in the comments let us

no. iTunes, ratings, reviews, five stars, kind words. Join us at another podcast network on Patreon for Salt Lake City and Traders, Australia. It is the, these, these shows are so much fun. Okay, we'll see you there. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat and say goodbye. Later, dudes. No.