Another Below Deck Podcast - Season Finale with Reality Gays – Part 1 | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S4 E15

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

Dylan and Pat are joined by Reality Gays’ Jake Anthony to breakdown Wilson, pocket gays, Kyle Richards, throupling, Nexium, Jerry Maguire, chaos, handjobs, bad tippers, Cazzie David, South Africa, and much more from Bravo’s Below Deck Sailing Yacht.Ad Free at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@BadT.V.Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/TikTok at https://www.tiktok.com/@badtvpodcastFacebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/Check out all things Reality Gays at https://www.realitygays.com/

Oh, are we going right now? Nice, dude. Okay. I think the audience is going to love this episode. We have such a good time when we get together with the Reality Gays. In this case, Reality Gay. One gay. One gay.

Just one gay. The great Jake from Reality Gays helped us break down the penultimate episode and the season finale. And it was so... It was just beautifully aligned. Kindred soul. We, being a throuple, broke down the throuple of these last two episodes.

We cannot thank you guys enough for listening to us all season. We'll keep you posted on what we're doing with Down Under and any old seasons um so new stuff coming down the pike um join us on youtube hopefully uh you're watching this on youtube bad tv uh join us on socials and join us at patreon.com slash another podcast network for additional below that content and vanderump rules with Papaya Dog Girl, My Baby Sister Ruby, jump in the iTunes ratings and reviews.

And I know there's a lot of podcasts out there, but we seriously love the Reality Gates so much. So go and support them. Enjoy these episodes. We love you guys very much. Later, dudes. Enjoy. And this is where we find out that lucy is truly cursed yeah because the

drawer opens up a steak knife flies out and it nearly almost hit her head yeah it's been patty's dream i really do think you're correct that lucy is like barely avoiding death in every single episode like how has she not hit been hit by the mizzen when she's up on deck there is a kind of um there's a biblical war for her soul going on um there are angels protecting her there are demons trying to kill her and she's she has no fucking idea what's going on all right here we are um i you quite rudely called kaylin the vestigial tale of the throuple that we had tonight um he's more than that yeah no he's the power he's a person he's the power daddy that's spitting on his member and watching us fight sexually um this episode is that and this episode is always that it is a half an hour of

goodbyes and we say love final episode is always that yeah well i used i'll say this when i used to watch real real world when i was in high school the final episode of the real world was in literally an hour of goodbyes and i i hate to admit, I hate to admit this. I used to tear up. That's fine. I was going to say, yeah, it's totally fine. I cry every time,

uh, every family episode of survivor. Is that right? Yeah. Oh yeah, absolutely. That's the straightest thing I've ever heard. Well,

um, but I don't cry when sea rats hug it out and say, I'll see you again. I think you need possibly an even straighter thing would be, I cried the other day at the treatment of Manchester United's goalkeeper. That really made me cry. And my wife said, what's going on? You win.

You win. I'm playing a game that nobody wants me to play anymore, so let's stop. I want to piggyback on what you said, which is a gay term but it sounds like it yeah um these episodes are fillers i understand why we need to do them i personally want to i wish i could speak for the podcasting recapping community yeah it says i want to stop doing final episodes and where i want to stop telling you what happens all together and i want to just say here's our opinions of this and i don't want to tell you a single fucking thing that happened because nothing happened yeah you know what we should do moving forward we should copy and paste our notes into text edit on apple and

then just have a voice thing and then just put that out. I mean, you know, love it, but right off the bat tonight, if I could, what is the theme of this dinner? Question mark, question RT.

If I, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to give a quick, my quick pots real quick. Sure. This episode was worse than most season finales and the blame rests solely on gary's shoulders gary gary's hissy fit tonight destroys any hope we had of one last ball of snakes in a thin puddle of water we needed everyone up in

that jacuzzi we needed cheersing fucking sucking but what did we get we got pouty pouty gary pants and shame on mads for giving a fuck i know come on mads I thought you were fucking kingpin like that. Go ahead, Jake. It took away all the power she had the entire episode when she said, I need to go tell Gary that I made out with Alex. Why? And she's been saying from moment one, we're just having fun. And then when the producer said, she's like, I wish I was just known.

Mads wasn't really into me. And the producer's like, yeah, she's like, I wish I was just nomads, but it wasn't really into me. And the producer's like, yeah, she's been telling you every fucking episode. We can show you tape. I love that producer so much. And by the way, Jake, I completely agree with you. So she despised Gary. It was just all fun. And then I'd love to interview her well i'm sure

andy cohen will ask her why did you feel the need to track gary down to his room i know why i'll yeah go ahead he's drunk that that true that too and i wanted uh and and mads is a part of gary and her that it is hard for she there's a part of her that she hates and that's the part that wants to fuck gary yeah oh yeah it's the part that i need to feel validated because i need something sexual to validate me yeah so she'll fuck anything on the boat. She was going... This is the thing. She was going to do this with anyone on the boat. It just happened to be Gary.

Yeah. Which, good for her. And also, he was very... You're getting yours. He was very aggressive right off the bat. Had Alex taken that role, it would have been Alex. I kind of co-signed that, but just because we... We're not as gay as Jake, so we can't co-sign that aggressively

you're a little bit less gay a little bit less gay uh but yeah i know mads mads was looking for uh love in a hopeless place like that one rihanna song which is what to this day one of the sexiest okay one of the sexiest music videos of all time. And I don't know if that model in that video killed somebody. I don't know where he went, but one of the most stunning human beings I've ever seen. No, the sexiest girl in a video ever. No, I'm talking about a man.

Who is the most sexiest man in a video for you, Pat? Dylan showed me a Kanye West video where this girl is sitting on a chair. Oh, it's Tiana Taylor. She's fantastic. Holy shit, that's hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beautiful body. Okay. Yeah, I want to get away from the ladies, Tom. So, yeah.

I think I'd blow Kiana. It feels a little homophobic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry to be so hateful. Yeah, yeah. I blow Kiana Reaves. It's a little hateful.. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry to be so hateful. Yeah, yeah. I feel Keanu Reeves. It's a little hateful. All right. So I would give the season finale one pot. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. How about you, Jake? 20 on a scale from 1 to 100. Yeah. Again, just really quickly, I wanted to shoehorn in one more thing. Listen, I know that people love Daisy. We love Daisy, kind of. Yeah.

I am fucking here with Daisy. Me too. I hit it with this season. I am so fucking tired of Daisy getting a pass, tormenting Gary, tormenting colin being melodramatic about stuff i'm just i've had it with daisy okay and it's worse because she suffers at her job and because she takes everything so motherfucking personally yeah that everything about her job reflects on her chill out and that's why and why, and I'm going to say this,

and I'm someone who likes Daisy, and I think she's great TV. Yeah. She's not a great chief stew. It's true. Bottom line. Oh, my God. You know what a great chief stew wouldn't say?

The radios don't work in the galley. Daisy, come on. We know that's bullshit. Or talk about her. Go ahead, Jay. Thank you. We know that's bullshit. I think Daisy works on sailing yacht because it's chaotic. If Daisy was on below deck OG,

she would make it one season. Wow. I don't want to just grab onto that as voraciously as I want to, but I do. I have to follow my heart. I'm telling you, the chaoticness and the messiness and the personal, emotional things of Daisy losing her shit. Daisy is the things falling out of the cabinets every time they heal is daisy's emotional state yeah it goes perfectly

with the show pat yeah how is your life it's really good why well my wife and i get to spend more time with each other now that we've signed up for green chef yeah and green chef is an incredible company and the sponsor of this show they're the number one meal kit for eating clean with dinners that work for you, not the other way around. Also, 100% of their seafood meets the Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch rankings for certified best choice and good alternative. I mean, that's insane.

We had the salmon asparagus meal on Tuesday. You told me it was delicious, eh? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Make more time for your summer goals with green chefs convenient step-by-step recipes with options ready in less than 30 minutes yeah you don't have time to make an hour and a half dinner but it could have been an hour because my wife enjoy preparing meals together right it could have been but no we're not doing bolognese here you know

we're doing quick clean beautiful meals cut down on your meal prep with pre-portioned and prepped ingredients, including pre-measured sauces, spices, and dressings delivered right to your door. Go to greenchef.com slash below deck 50 and use promo code below deck 50 to get 50% off plus free shipping. Again, that is greenchef.com slash below deck 50 and use promo code below deck 50 to get 50% off plus free shipping. Green Chef is the number one meal kit for eating well. Jake, let me ask you this. Dylan and I have talked about this. So being on season three of your stint on a Bravo show, I think that definitely has a part to play in her apathy towards her job. She's wearing the mink coat in public. When she let Tim bleed out in that area. She's wearing the mink coat in public. When she let Tim bleed out

in that area, I think she was clearly thinking, I'm bigger than working on this boat. Yeah, she was. Yeah, and Captain Glenn was like, hey, a guy was bleeding for a half an hour, and she was like, would you

stop making me cry? And it's like, what the fuck what's going on but and also what about me and my problems with gary and colin when i say she's manipulating gary and colin i understand that it's messy and i'm not absolving gary of anything obviously gary is the tip of the spear of piece of shit here but i think daisy's gotten a pass because i think she's been awful to both of them. Right. And here's another ding on her.

So at the top of this episode, right as this episode starts, Daisy tells Colin unequivocally she is with him. Yeah. Right. And that's what he needs to hear. And she's not about Gary's mind games anymore. But somehow Daisy continues to be pulled into small places with gary yeah and she needs to slap him in the face if we are going to be on daisy's side and say this is how you tell this guy i don't want to be pulled in these small places anymore

with your lips smashed up against my irish uh deteriorating skin. Okay. There are these little things. I got distracted because I saw a thing today from Michael Pollack about the specific kind of potato that McDonald's uses, and it can't have any blemishes in it. And the only way to achieve that is to put a pesticides called monitor on it. It's just horrific stuff. You down bitch shoot? Wow! I'm not on bitch shoot anymore, okay? I know that

there are satanic child sacrifices happening at the bottom of Buckingham Palace. I don't need to explore that any further. Who doesn't know that? Sheep don't know that. But there are things that Daisy has been doing throughout the season that are so loud,

but she doesn't get called out on them. The fingers on their seasons, the fingers on Gary's cheek. We talked about it when he pulled her into a corner and then today or tonight, the last goodbye they have is this purgatorial zone that you can, I guess, get by with. But to anybody really looking at it objectively, it's fucking inappropriate if you're committing to Colin. And Colin even said, the way you – I heard that Gary basically was telling me that you were asking why I wasn't chasing Mads.

And Daisy turned it into kind of like trying to say, well, that's him. I don't know if he's good for my relationship. No, she is doing that covertly to take him out of the equation because Because she's worried. About what he will be. It is not because she cares. About what he. Who Mads is. Or his relationship with Mads. She is trying to eliminate him.

As someone from her life. Because she can't do it in any other way. It's so obvious. I also think she still. Wants to keep that pot. On the simmer. She's so obvious. I also think she still wants to keep that pot on the simmer. She's into him. That was perfect English. She is into him.

Her sister told her so. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. We love Bonnie. Bonnie's a real drunk. God fucking Bonnie. Bonnie, I know you're still listening. You need to go to AA because you're a drunk.

You have a problem. I felt so bad. We put out a clip where, and I cut that Pat said she was a bargoil. I cut that out of the social clip, but I mean, she's Bonnie commented. You guys know me and it broke my heart and bargoil. Okay. All right. So Pat, did you give any pots?

Oh, I hated this episode. Zero. All right. So wow. We end with the, um, I'm not going to be Gary's friend anymore. Conversation with Daisy V dramatic V dramatic. And this is the,

the pitfall of the throuple. No one cares enough about any relationship on below deck enough to have these kinds of melodramatic conversations. Did I say that right? It's getting, you did. I hope this is the last, like, enough to have these kinds of melodramatic conversations. Did I say that right? It's getting late. You did. I hope this is the last. I love Gary having sex with broken people that come out of Florida.

Who doesn't? Everybody loves that. Why break formula? This show's been on for 10 goddamn years. Now there was five iterations of it. Now there's only four because we got rid of Adventure or whatever the fuck. Is that coming back? Adventure is not coming back because we took Captain Gary to replace old Captain Lee.

Get a new Captain and don't hire a bunch of fucking dorks. Don't have dorks on this show. They need to be hot and they need to fuck each other. They can't be fucking dorks. Hear, hear. Y'all listen to that. Damn other. They can't be fucking dorks. Here, here. God, here, here. Listen to that. Damn it.

That's how we cast for Below Deck. They need to fuck each other. Look, the formula works. The throuple is the first time we ever saw an arc of people being in love for more than three episodes. And I never want to see it again. All right. I feel like we're so hot right now. We're going to go long again. We got to go through this. I'm going to take it down. I'm going to take it again. All right. I feel like we're so hot right now. We're going to go long.

We got to go. I'm going to take it down. All right. What the fuck is the theme of this part? It's the ABC is wearing a trash bag. Okay. All right. So I was confused about everything here.

Yeah. And I'm gay. So the theme is air out your balls. The theme is anything but clothing. The theme is air out your balls. The theme is anything but clothing. And the thing with Lucky is that her haunches are sweating because she's in trash bags. And I was kind of pissed off at Daisy because Daisy does not have sweaty haunches because she's not in a trash bag.

Her underlings are in trash bags, and I don't understand this. The underlings have to flush live shit down while their haunches are sweating, and Daisy just gets to serve such a bizarre dish. This is such an Alicia dish. Sorry, I love Alicia. Are you going to go through the courses? I'm getting ahead of myself, but don't say cultivated. There's one cultivated and there's one fresh. That's

just a bizarre thing. Cultivated or oysters. Just say Kumamotos. Just say they're Kumamotos. Nobody will know the difference. So yes, this is what the fuck is fucking happening?

While you're doing that, I'm going to do a meanwhile. Meanwhile, Debra, that's Brad's mom, she visits Glenn in the bridge over there. Oh, yeah. And Glenn, he whispers in her ear, he's like, get out of here. I'm not going to do this to you. Jake, Dylan and I are convinced that Glenn kills women.

Convinced is too soft a word we know uh that glenn kills prostitutes in europe on his free time because he's such a nice guy he needs to burn off some of that energy and then healing is not enough because a steak knife has not gone through a crew member's face yet agreed and it needs to be a sex worker because he pays for it so it needs to yeah i love jake's picking up what we're throwing down yeah and when he says and when he says i'm gonna take these cookies for a test drive that's his that that is one of the things he tells the the dead sex workers um i don't know why people can't see this. Yes. Jake, Kalen, Dylan, and I know. Glenn,

I know you listen. You are killing people, okay? This is a deadline in 20 years. Keith Morrison will be dead. It doesn't matter. Lester Holt won't be. Lester Holt won't be. He's on that show, right? I think it only makes sense.

Canadians are nice until they're deadly. That's all I need to say. Oh, I love that. Hey, I heard a good Canadian joke. I don't know if you guys have ever heard this, but how do you get five Canadians out of a pool? Ask them. Because they're so polite.

Yeah. Hey, tell that Guinness book joke. Oh, Jake, do you want to hear another joke? Sure. Okay. No, I don't want to. Tell him it's funny. Okay.

My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. And the librarian said, can you please take your penis out of the Guinness Book of World Records? I know where this is going. That's it. That's the joke. In other words, because your penis is in the Guinness Book of World Records. If you want to keep going, she's like, it's really weird that you keep closing it and opening it, and it's

really inappropriate to do that in a public place. I'm going to call the police soon. All right. We have to do the show. All right. That is such a millennial reference because everyone else goes west they can't like i remember and then you have to explain it to them like caitlin's like yeah i don't know what the fuck that is go suck a dick uh all right so um the pasta dish looks absolutely disgusting it is a candy Pappardelle. We need to stop dying

our pasta colors. I don't care if it's for gay people. I don't care if it's for anyone. I don't need... You don't need to dye... Pasta is hard enough to make well. I don't need it dyed. Thank you so much.

And also, this may be controversial, but let's stop with this fresh pasta fad, okay? It's very difficult. It's too difficult, and also, it is not toothsome. It's mushy, okay? It's toothsome. God damn it. Everything about this dish pisses me off.

Fucking 15 pots. All right. So we play a little game, not unlike anal ring toss, where they throw coat hangers at Gary. They cut this down to 15 seconds, but I think it was three hours. I think it took. Yeah, at least 25 minutes. Gary's just sitting there like, I don't know know what to do i don't know what to do gays have no hand and eye coordination because they can never catch a ball

uh so are there there are good uh gay athletes right absolutely definitely in the uh not a ton of baseball players not a lot of they we don't we don't have a lot of good hand-eye coordination. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me neither. For me, when I was in the t-ball field, I could throw a ball, but I was afraid when it came at my face because I was afraid it would hit my moneymaker. Of course. So I protected my face with my gloves and it would fall out and my coach would go, God damn it, Jake. Well, I still have a scar on my nose from getting hit in the face

with a baseball, so you were good to protect yourself. I could play soccer, though, because I was good because I could run from the big kids who wanted to beat me up. Yeah, that's all you have to do. You have to be evasive and you have to have a touch. And Cristiano Ronaldo is bi, but not quite gay. So anyways, dinner is pasta and oysters. Now, I know that I went over dinner,

but I just want to say once again, the final dinner of the season is pasta and oysters. And that's shame on you, Bravo, because there had to have been courses that got cut. It's a goddamn shame. So Colin and Gary have a little pep talk. Oh, forgive me. I pointed this out in the last episode.

This is the bullshit lie that Gary does. Right. And Gary tells Colin that this is just such a shitty thing to say to somebody. This isn't something that anybody who loves the other person would ever say it could end in disaster or you guys it's like it's like a weird rod serling kind of thing like well i i don't understand why he has to be like he's a slimy sea rat why are you predicting what's gonna happen here it's just fucking stupid jake sorry i'm rambling you're fine it's so late you care a lot about food um all right so

while daisy and chase pray for the next 24 hours they get a little surprise oh and guys that's where my note ends and to be honest i don't know what the surprise was now it's a surprise uh grant and todd take a piss off the boat which i would have done too oh and they're naked that's right by the way in a pre in the last episode todd i think tried to give uh grant a handy and you it was either that or they were fingering each other you know on the boat a hand job is so underrated who needs to be mixing this up with sex on whatever? I miss a good hand job. Sorry.

No, no, no. It is. It is. It's quaint. It's a dish best served warm. Yeah. Obviously. But.

Like a hot pocket. It is. It's unfortunate that's fallen out of fashion and sometimes all you want is a handy uh because it just takes too much time for a blowy and there's a lot less work involved and there's too much separation i like the idea of kissing and uh working each other over the thing that you have to be comfortable with is knowing concretely and confidently that that person is okay and they want to do this to you. Because at the 12th minute, you could get a little worried about them. And you can't have that.

That's true. And it can feel like you're just doing this so much. And when you start hearing the other person go, Yeah. Yeah. Long sighs. Right. doing this so much and when you when you start hearing the other person go yeah yeah long size right long i'm gonna say this to out to women and men out there if you're hearing if you're receiving a handy and you're hearing long size just fake it fake it till you make it and and and and and help them out along the way because they're trying their best. They are getting carpal tunnel. Yeah, just get up and go, oh, my God, I'm coming.

I came in my hand and I'm going to go wash it out in the sink now. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, I came on my chest. You didn't see it. Oh. I came in your hair. You didn't even feel that.

All right. So next day. Next day. Alex wakes up. Kalen, you. Next day. Alex wakes up. Jalen, you can use that. Alex wakes up with a new vigor. 24 hours and Gary is no longer his boss. Perfect because Mads is closer than ever to throwing up in her mouth at this side.

I want to say this. Alex, you pussed out, buddy. I know. Big time. You pussed out, you big wuss. This guy. I i'm gonna say this this this type of lazy hot straight guy is an abomination i completely agree man it's an abomination he's an abomination looking for his own good he realizes he can walk into an airport

exactly flying he's too afraid to work Because he's afraid of rejection Yep Yeah It's 100% It's not about Gary It's about him being afraid of rejection Him being so fragile

That whole tantra thing About multiple orgasms Oh god That is That is some ridiculous Sensitive man 21st century bullshit. I love that you said that. It's such fucking...

You know how many fucking books there are out there that have untold fantasies and lessons? Don't read that. You don't need to come multiple times. Come once. Hey, it's Adrian from season four. Yeah, exactly. You like my meat? You like my meat? You know what?

If you can come more than, I will say this, as a man who has slept with a few other men in my time, if you can come right after that, that is a talent. Know this. Not all men are ready for that. Right. Or women are ready for it to come again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I understand the idea of it and that you're trying to better yourself. But it comes across as trying to.

And we can't all be stinging. Here's the thing, though. Yeah. I don't mind if you want to have a rocket's evening where you do cocaine, you're up for eight hours, and you just fuck away at each other. There are multiple sessions, and you come multiple times. Not on coke. To try to biohack and figure out how to fucking shut the levees down and then come again.

It's just like life's too short. It feels artificial, and it feels unfair. It's just like life's too short. It feels artificial and it feels unfair. I completely agree. It's fucking unfair. Let's go. So we're on the next day. All right. A couple of things happened here.

Breakfast is served. Guests continue to be gross slobs with their living quarters. Gary, they're fucking disgusting. They are. Game man. All right. Here's.

Sorry. This has been so. How did we make such a mess? Because you're fucking pigs. That's how. Go to West Hollywood. I'm worried. Every yard where a gay couple live,

it's the most manicured thing you've ever seen in your goddamn life. Have you ever been on Santa Monica Boulevard if you ever visited here as a listener in Los Angeles? At 3 a.m.? Well, I was going to say, Santa Monica Boulevard looks beautiful. It's manicured.

It's lovely. What the fuck's up with these three? Shit in the fucking toilet? Piss on the fucking ceiling? Well, the thing is, everything's fine until you're entitled gay and you don't really care about how it looks when you're filmed.

I guarantee you there was some sex going on. And I'm going to say this to those of you who aren't initiated in the worlds of gay sex it can be a little messy and there may be towels with things on them however i think i think you're talking about feces i'm talking about feces and uh very astute and i'm and i'm saying there's a way to do it and not leave them out there's a way to have feces on a towel and maybe wrap the feces part underneath right right um i i was i was pretty horrified uh at whole segment, and I swing that way. Okay.

So, yeah. Well, I was going to say, Jake, my wife and I, we have a three-year-old. We call her Hurricane Ellie. When we're at a breakfast table, she rips the whole fucking thing apart. That's what she does. And before we leave, we clean the entire thing up to cover our tracks up and pretend to be good people, good citizens. You pretend to be something you're not

because that's what we do. I could not leave my room to go up to the dinner and leave shit, piss, cum everywhere. Well, you also can't get a blowjob if your balls smell like the day, but we have to move on. We're supposed to do this episode in 31

minutes. Sorry. All right. So great time. No, I know we're having a great time. So let's get to a little conversation with Mads. This is this is the Gary turns into a bit of like a poltergeist series, like a creepy poltergeist and it's like, God fucking damn it. Why are you

always here? Like, what do I need to do? But he's like, so what are we and he wants to know the future plans well all we this is when the patron saint of reason and of this finale the producer says in so many words i fucking hate you and it's a woman who you know is in her 40s and has seen has lived with men like this and has filmed men like this and she's just like i can't i just need to expose you for who you are yeah yeah i she she's happily married i think and hates him so um we dock for our last time well we got one more last sailing oh Oh, God. Another heel. And this is where we find out that Lucy is truly cursed.

Yeah. Because a drawer opens up, a steak knife flies out, and it nearly almost hit her head. It's been Patty's dream. I really do think you're correct that Lucy is like barely avoiding death in every single episode

no like how has she not hit been hit by the mizzen when she's up on deck there is a kind of um there's a biblical war for her soul going on um there are angels protecting her there are demons trying to kill her and she's she has no fucking idea what's going on she's like the simplest person in the world and she's just god has decided this is the one i'm gonna like put all my money on she is middle earth she is middle they're playing god and and Satan are playing for her soul. Something so pure. All right.

So, Gary, did you have a good time? Oh, they say, did you have a good time? I go, kind of. The cast apart? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ray really fucked it up, but yeah. The throuple seemed to ruin this charter. Gary, Gary, Gary has a little flip out, and Glenn says,

I wanted to throw it to you when Glenn says there were a couple times I didn't think we were going to make it. You know, it's gone understated, and Pat has brought this up numerous times, the negligence and the deceit of the crew of parsnips with this boat being completely inoperable at any time it could have killed everyone it could have lit on fire and there's not fire engines that can roll out here and put the thing uh you know this boat needs to go to the trash heap yeah it just does yeah it just needs to go to davy jones locker yeah 100 it's time and's like, oh, we had a couple scares. It's like, Glenn, you almost killed everybody, man. Why are you speaking like that?

You had like 11 scares. It wasn't like two. And I fully understand that we make a big deal every time something happens. But we're talking black smoke flooding out the chimney. The boat can't leave the dock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or how about engines don't work, and then you're trapped out in the middle of the ocean,

left with just the tender and either the sails or wind. By the way, I think there's a reason why, if there were going to be children, and Blowdeck has had children and families on these charters before. They don't let children on sailing yacht they would thank god never because if they had allowed that this season everybody would have been in an uproar like how dare you but just but because it's just a bunch of sassy gays the last two charters like yeah fuck them if they die they die fuck them gays lives are worth nothing yeah exactly um. I also will say I believe the insurance on Parse to False 3 is $25 million.

Yeah. Oh, I bet. It's the only way that they would allow people on this boat. And Colin's like, it's okay, let's just dump some sand in the engine and see if that sucks shit up. Hello, party people. Our next partner has a product that I use literally every single day. I started taking AG1 because I wanted to regulate my healthfulness. I wanted to be a better man, a better partner, a better human, both inside and out. And you know how I'm doing that? I'm doing that with AG1, which I use literally every day. It has 75 high quality vitamins, minerals, whole food sourced ingredients, probiotics, and adaptogens.

I mean, that's just insane. Nothing has that many things. The taste is not great, but that's good. Taste is not great, but that's good because if something tastes really good, it means that it's probably not good for you or it means you're one of those people who is like in love with fruit, which is fine. But there. So also, you got to hear this. It costs you less than three dollars a day. You're investing in your health. It's cheaper than your cold brew habit okay athletic greens is a climate neutral certified company as well oh and also it has over 7,000 five-star reviews crazy. So what we're going to need you to do is go to drinkag1.com slash below deck. Again, that is drinkag1 slash below deck. And we're going to make it easy for you. AG1 is going to give you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five free

travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is go to ag1.com slash below deck. Again, that's ag1.com slash below deck. Take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. So Alex and Chase talk about Lord of the Flies and Gary. He is too thin to be piggy, but they do want to kind of kill him in that way um and then and then we get to um the tip meaning pat take it away 17 5 very very light for shitting in a toilet

very light shitting on the ceiling i i could have told you this and i guarantee you the thruple gave none of it you know i hesitate to do this because it's likely offensive because the gay community is like any other community there are 10 of people who are incredible 10 of people who are complete assholes and 80 of people you're saying about any group about any group generous are gays do gays take pride in in tipping they're very well usually not we are better tippers than normal. But these are not normal gays.

These are asshole gays. These are gays who are out to... They're on television, and they're happy to be trolls. Sadly. So weird. The Burning Man gays, I guarantee you, probably gave, I don't know.

I have a feeling that the, I don't know any of the inside info here. I have a feeling that they probably agreed to split some of it. Yeah. And at the last minute, the Threat Bulls said, we're only going to split some of it. Yeah. And at the last minute, the throuple said, we're only going to give them five grand. And I think they probably were going to give them like 22 grand. Yeah. Or something like that.

Yeah. It's like Chuck and Erica. They're like, we threw in 2,300. What's up with you guys? God, I really wanted to get Grant on the show. That's okay. We'll talk to Grant. 300 where what's what's up with you guys god i really wanted to get grant on the show that's okay we'll talk to grant so um i yeah i want to like send send send me an em i want to know what he says because i have a feeling they took i'm i'm almost certain they took they took brad because

he was a client yeah we that's question number one it's a business relationship it's not a personal relationship um so you know lending more credence to our concrete knowledge of Glenn's crimes, he says he's going to sleep off the boat so that he can get a good night's sleep. He has been itching for weeks. Yeah, he's sleeping with the head of a sex worker he's just murdered. But I will say this. He shows up. Thank you for getting on board with this.

Thanks, dude. I like it how I said that and Kalen went. Yeah, that's a little scary. Y'all watch out for Kalen. I was disappointed that Glenn, and I think this is the second time he's done this, shows up to the final dinner to basically try and create drama

with some stupid questions. It's true. I hate this shit. I hate this team-building garbage. I hate us to say what went right what went wrong i hate it and and it's such a i'm trying to find um an analog but highs and lows is a very very dangerous game it's a very very fucking dangerous game uh cringiest line of the night goes to gary i think he toasts or gives a shot, and he says,

one for my girlfriend. Gary? Gary? That's it. Get used to being rejected, Gary. All right. You loser. Okay.

All right. Gain a few more pounds. Get redder. Your fucking life will be over. You red face. You're so red. Losing your hair. What is that?

What is that? Sorry. You triggered something is that what is that take it easy god damn it man you're seeing black or red or whatever it is i i feel like you're about to do a scene from goodwill hunting pat just like at any moment yeah at any moment you're going to it's not your fault i know no no it's not your fault no you know what you are you're jack nicholson at the end of a few good men you fucking had it people don't people don't understand the lengths you go to to protect this country god damn right i did all right so i'm like the only gay person who who knows two good men so the of course the dangerous part of this game is daisy crying and i understand that daisy has had a tough season but thank you for groaning because the only thing appropriate the only

appropriate reaction to this is to groan yep because it's grown worthy god damn it daisy because we all have to support her and we all have to tell her it was okay and that's not that's as a chief stew we should not have to be doing that 100 we should not be toasting to you to you and your introspection because the stakes are not that fucking high you're wiping up shit and you're and you're and you're a fucking manager i'm sorry this is this is the thing. People have come at me about talking about Kate Chastain, about how she was the ultimate kind of – I said she was the ultimate Chief Stew because she only showed about 20% of who she was

and the rest was – to the guests, the rest was to the crew. And she never really showed who she was. It wasn't a great reality show. I said that's because she was a fucking professional yeah yeah there's a reason why she's the queen of the sea and why she had the longevity on the show that she had um and technically took over the franchise very early oh yeah the show would be nothing about kate um so maddie healy of the 1975 comes over to uh bring the sea rats to their table. I know that reference and it's destroying me.

And Glenn heads off to kill horse. All right. So veggies and 12 different kinds of meats are going to be served. Chase and Gary have a little conversation and Chase says, listen, I want to tell him off, but I think it's best to not burn bridges. The

only thing that's not that admirable about it is that you, listen, I want to tell him off, but I think it's best to not burn bridges. The only thing that's not that admirable about it is that you've been, I don't know, it's like giving a cell phone to Christopher Columbus or something like that. It's like Chase doesn't understand that he's being filmed and what a reality television show is. It's like, just say he's a fucking asshole. It'll be better TV.

All right, he could have a great moment. Like giving an iPhone to a dog. Yes, you're right. He could have a great moment like that, but I don't think in the bigger picture it would be a great moment for him. I think he should just, you know, disappear. He's actually thinking about what's going to be

for him social media-wise, which is what everyone's thinking about on these shows. Well, I think that if we could see that this was not going to be a ball of snakes kind of night from the meal, you can't have this much meat and have sex. No, it's too much churrasco. It's too much fucking. What the fuck are the producers doing? You can't have a chascaria on the last night we need them to fuck each other they can't be stuffed with picanha they're gonna smell bad it it needs to be sushi or or nothing else i don't know why because no no one's gonna fuck

someone with a belly full of meat no you can't do it we talked about the other night when you're at dinner with your wife and it's been like a week and you're like, you know, we need to have sex tonight. And then she orders the hummus and you're like, that's 52 chickpeas.

You're not going to want to... It's not good. Or she's on the way home. She's like, do you mind hitting Jack in the box? You're like, oh, I'm fucked. There's a really great... Kazzy David,

who is Larry David's daughter, has an essay called too full to fuck yeah and it it really is like when you're out with someone and they're ordering like blah blah blah yeah and she's like yeah i'm gonna be this is great i love eating but i also love having sex right and so i have to decide am i going to eat if i want to fuck right and there there is a time it doesn't matter if you are male female anywhere in between there is a point where if you're if you've eaten too much you cannot just it you can't well if you want to go to the Taco Bell, you can. Bring the Taco Bell home. It is not going to be that much better or worse, lukewarm.

Fuck and then go. It will be the best meal you ever had. Yeah. And also. 100%. This could save so many relationships, what you're saying right now. And also, let's just, let's acknowledge the public service that Cassie David did for fucking Pete Davidson. Pete Davidson can go fuck himself because he used Cassie David as a trampoline.

And I just don't think people give Cassie David enough credit because she's funnier than Pete Davidson. She has more to offer society. The book of essays is fantastic i would highly recommend it how she's larry david's daughter how could she not be better than pete davidson exactly fucking stop hiring him i'm so fucking over it can you believe we're gonna do 45 minutes on this dumb episode i know i'm really sorry i love it jake i'm i'm just i'm very i'm good i'm good i'm here with you. Okay, so we get back to the boat and

there is, oh no, what are we doing? The kiss heard not around the world. And it didn't look good. No. Can I just say that? No. I don't know if Alex is a great kisser. Obviously it wasn't because why is she running to Gary? She should

have been like, that turn me on let's go fucking this is where i get it on you know like i don't want to be gross like this but sevens are better in bed than nines thank you for saying that you have to work hard and it is a true it's it's completely true yeah and i would tell you that 6.5s are better in bed than 9.5s. Yeah, 100%. Even much so. Yeah. Because I have had, in my time, I've had 6s that have definitely been better than 9s.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you do find a 9.5 who is as good as a 6.5 in bed, and when you do marry them, what will happen is you will have a highly publicized court hearing a la Amber Heard and Johnny Depp.

That's true. You're right there, which is why I have had so many legal troubles. There will be cryptic messages written in blood or shit on the mirror at various points. All right. So we have to, for some reason, go and tell Gary about this kiss. And this ruins the entire night.

Why this happened. I have a theory, Jake. There's still a hierarchy of being bravo talent and good point this was her moment i think because she got banged by him intimate but she kind of hated him and grossed out by him like old disgusting gross guy still felt like she needed to have her moment with the talent. Also, Gary doesn't pass. He doesn't step over the line.

But he is close to being... He's like Ozzy Osbourne. He's getting a little too close to being handsy. A little aggressive. It's bad. This is one of those things where I just go, I'm glad we didn't see the full edit.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because Below Deck is one of those shows, I don't know how they get away with it, but... It's one of the least edited shows, supposedly. Well, and also it's one of the least punished shows, because we've had... Oh, they do crazy shit. We've had the N-word said to people.

We've had, you know, and no heads... Well, unless you're love after lockup and then you can do every fucking thing. Oh, yeah. Right, right.

Jake, by the way, that's not... We don't know if we can do that show anymore. Jake, season one of Below Deck, we heard there was... Oh, fuck.

Episode three of season 1 is deleted because it was so homophobic or something. Homophobic. And there's been transphobic episodes, too. Yeah, 100%. But love after lockup. Well, you got fucking South African crew. You got brew crew who are just like the most racist fucking people in the world.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's not known by enough people that South Africa is. Well, maybe it is. It is. I'm not going to call out a country. Yeah. But if you want to know, let's just say a lot of the people think extremely provincially. Yeah, I would say, and this is a little hyperbolic, but South Africa makes Missouri look like the Castro

District. Makes it look like Portland. Yeah. That's a good way to put it. Chase and Alicia have another hug. Wasn't going to happen. Wasn't going to happen. Appreciate the effort, Chase.

I think they're perfect for one another. Next day, we find out that Alex has been reading about multi-orgasmic men. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. I'm trying to see if there's anything we need to talk about. Nothing. The only noteworthy thing was the goodbye to Gary.

I want to bring up one thing that they said. I believe that Lucy said this. There was no fighting in interiors at all and i think that's a first for below deck sailing yacht yeah and you know what i think it's a testament to i hate to give her credit but i think it's a testament to daisy um it is and having two women who are very new yeah and knowing they need to team up instead of compete with one another. And even rarer, the competition

was not needed because Lucky and Mads were great together and it was fine. Great pointing that out. It worked because they were different enough. And also it's fascinating to see

angels and demons fight for the heart of one human being i mean we've never seen that before on the show uh jake we love you so much thank you for hanging in there with us thank you guys this is wonderful i'm so happy to talk to you both podcast this was dylan and i's ninth today jake is a warrior in the vein of xena this was podcast 10 for me, but yeah, it's fine. We love all of you for listening.

It's been a great season. Thank you so much. This is wonderful. This completes our season. We'll see you for the reunion next time. Yep. Is Matty going to be back for the reunion? He will be back for the reunion.

Good. Well, I hope all the Reality Gaze fans are champing at the bit for that. Reality Gaze. Reality Gaze. Reality Gaze. Reality Gaze. Reality Gaze. Good. Well, I hope all the Reality Gaze fans are champing at the bit for that. Reality Gaze. Reality Gaze. Reality Gaze. Reality Gaze. Reality Gaze. Reality Gaze. Reality Gaze. Reality Gaze. RealityGaze.com. Reality Gaze. Reality Gaze podcast on Instagram. Reality Gaze pod

on Twitter. Reality Gaze on TikTok. And to our fans. Or their fans that are listening to us. Bad TV or another below deck podcast. Yeah, 100% and to our fans, please go over there. Leave five stars kind words.

Please leave them a review. Y'all tell them we sent you Jake. We love you very much. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me and y'all. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. All right. Really fun. Thank you.