Kill James Bond! - Seven Star Service | Below Deck Med S7 E16

Episode Date: October 25, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to break down Nick's tea, winners and losers from Bravo Con, how cheugy 1942 is, how cheugy Gucci's that look likes Vans are, the five aggregates according to Sidartha, nastiness, socarrat and even more from Bravo's Below Deck Med. OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING WINTER HOUSE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.com

So, we're getting ready for dinner. It's my favorite, paella. Eh? Eh? The unfortunate thing is that I'm not sure Dave will be able to achieve the Socorot as he has a big poopy diaper right now. Well, he's got a case of that I don't give a fuck it. welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast my name is dylan i'm saddled up next to one real nicholas davis ahoy mateys he's back from bravo con everybody excited to hear about it.

Pat produced the podcast over there behind my glasses. Permission to come aboard. Permission granted. So, public service announcements to get out of the way. Nick has made his heroic return back from the East Coast. He went behind enemy lines, infiltrated BravoCon

like a thief in the night, to quote Donna Brazile. We're going to break... They stole those emails. Yeah, but how did you... Why were you giving Hillary Clinton the... We don't want to get into politics. It's just a great quote from Donna Brazile, like a thief in the night.

So, we're going to be breaking down Nick's entire voyage journey on a show called another podcast show. It's where we gab and goof about whatever's top of mind. And right now what's on top of my mind is my trip. I'm, I'm elated. Right. Still,

still on the come down. It was a good time. Yeah. Really good time. A lot of really good content coming. If you're not subscribed to another podcast show, subscribe to another podcast show. Yeah.

Another show you need to subscribe to is Bad TV. It's the new property. We're covering Winter House. We're covering The Real Housewives. I believe we said just... You're the closest now. We moved the board towards you. Which one am I?

I don't want to mess with you guys. That one. Thank you. Turn me up in the cans. Turn me up in the cans. Turn me up in the cans. What was I saying? Oh, we mentioned that we were going to be doing Love is Blind on bad TV. That was not.

It was true at the time. But we decided to change that. So Love is Blind season three is coming. I don't even give a. I mean, even if we were lying the time which we weren't we changed our minds which is fine we have uh complete agency yeah we have our own bodies uh but i don't we can lie to free people they're not paying us we can't lie to patrons and take stuff away from right so hey listen to this fucking cheapos we're putting

love is blind behind the paywall okay if you want to listen to us break down netflix's love is brian bought to you what by nick and vanessa lachey go to patreon.com slash another podcast network and you know i just realized these people most likely don't even give a fuck about love is blind and we have good news for you we were gonna put below deck adventure behind the paywall but now we're not because we're getting more yay we give it and we take it away yeah so you're getting a bunch of stuff for free that means you jump in the iTunes ratings and reviews Leave five stars, kind words, help us grow the show Tell your friends, tell your family, steal credit cards

Whoa whoa whoa whoa We're giving away a bunch of stuff for free That means then you should feel like you need to head over To that Patreon thing and give us five bucks You know for the effort We're like a church, we're just gonna pass around the coffer And put some fucking money in Keep your fucking reviews.

This is Prosperity Gospel. We have an episode of Below Deck to talk about. I think it's episode 15, 16. Can't remember. It's 16. It's the dog days. And they're talking about, did I hear Dangerous Dave say, I don't know, I can do two more charters.

Whoa, whoa. Two more charters. No, no. This is episode 16. There's do two more charters whoa whoa two more charters no no this is episode 16 there's only two more episodes of this oh because we're like right there at pots and nuts last psa it's one of those nights 75 ads ad free episodes patreon.com 10 bucks ad free 10 bucks, add free. 10 bucks, add free. Let's get into pots and pots. Oh, sure. Why don't you go first? Okay.

Let me just say this. It was just a basic episode. We're winding down. It was sad to see Dave take a couple steps backward. So I felt bad for him. I almost wanted to call him, but this happened eight months ago. So it wouldn't do any good, you know? Be like some Back to the Future shit.

Anyway, Reed, I'm not enjoying not caring about you and what comes out of your mouth. No one asked for a Dr. Phil. He is my vote for the most annoying person that works on this boat. I could do with a little less Reed. That being said, let's see. Read needs to read the room. Nice. Yeah, man.

I think this season's winding down. I think it's I think we're ready for a reunion or whatever Andy does. Yeah, a little Zoom conference. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and so zero. Right. Nick? Yeah, I can't believe there's two charters that alarmed me as well you got that you know it's alarming me let's take a look at the state of nick's phone right now right nick you make a lot of money yeah the iphone 14 just came out you're

a gearhead you gotta go get yourself one of those i'm going to but uh oh my god meetings with important people you can't bring that in there i don't i i have this is what i do people always like oh why are you walking around without a case you're gonna break it yeah i know but then you break it and then you put the case on i have one of those very thin cases that i've been using this has been broken for a couple months right exactly so i have a strategy but i am getting the 14 i love new things yeah episode is okay uh 72 knots i said i was gonna do that you can pop that fucking uh that new one on your laptop have you seen that and then it does like a bird's eye view camera that's cool isn't that cool so you can be like a tasty making brownies in a in a cast iron

skillet since i went pretty brief with my thoughts and knots could i uh at some point during the episode and you could decide when but i do feel like we have to get in the episode. But as I'm going to give my full recap of BravoCon on APS, I would like to talk just a little bit about, specifically within the Below Deck world, what I thought were the winners and losers of the Below Deck world from BravoCon. Oh, interesting. Should we just do it right now? You want to do that here?

Yeah, I could do it quick. Yeah, let's just do it right now. Huge loser. I give it four punts. It wasn't that great of an episode. Go. Two huge losers. Captain Sandy.

Oh, wow. People overheard her being extremely rude. This was on Bravo and Cocktails. While waiting in line for the bathroom, I saw Captain Sandy come out from behind a staging area. She made eye contact with one of the people in line for the bathroom and said, ugh, normal people. Turned right back around and went back into the staging area. She made eye contact with one of the people in line for the bathroom and said, ugh, normal people. Turned right back around

and went back into the staging area. Okay, that's gotta be a lie. No, there were lots of reports of her just being very, very standoffish on the first day

and then the next day, I don't know, I know she's sober, but if I had to guess, she was on pills because she was very effusive, passing out in the Bravo Palooza.

Allegedly. Who is that character that gets run over in SNL? He's that claymation guy. Jack Handy? I'm sorry. Oh. Yeah, that guy.

That's what Captain Sandy looked like. She's like. Oh, no. Yeah, flattened on that couch. Nick sent us a picture that he took when he was behind enemy lines. Go ahead. Winners. Captain Jason.

Captain Glenn. Captain Lee, actually. And Kate. Only good things said about them. Kate's a star. Kate is essentially a producer for Bravo now. Captain Jason was so grateful to be there to the point when he first came out for his photo op opportunity, saw the line waiting for him, he started crying. Oh, my.

Yeah. Captain Jason's the man. Captain Jason's the man. Captain Jason's the man. Another big loser, Kyle. You can't talk about Kyle that way. So much tea. Not invited to BravoCon as talent. Showed up anyways.

They allowed him on stage. Smart move. They announced that Frazier is going to be the chief stew. Oh, they just announced the cast and Chef Rachel's on. That's Below Deck Adventure. Oh, sorry. going to be this chief stew they just announced the cast of the and chef rachel's on uh that's below deck adventure oh sorry uh i don't know who the chef for below deck reg that starts in november is going to be but frazier is going to be the chief stew and they announced that on the below deck panel and then kyle would just like try to take it over and he like he he stepped on his moment he went up in front of the stage and he did a twirl and then i heard some tea i don't even

know if i should say this one oh no say it uh he was like trying to schedule like a below deck after party event right during a bravo thing to the point he formatted a group text that literally looked like a publicist like he wrote it and it said when where talent with a list of people oh boy and instructions no hey why is he a loser i know he stepped on Frazier's toes, but wouldn't we do that given the opportunity? I mean, you went there, you basically, you weren't invited to BravoCon and you got your ass kicked out of there.

And then I went back. But the point- You'll hear about it on another podcast. When I say winners, losers, I mean the perception of their own community. Kyle's becoming a pariah. And I also heard he's on the next season of Below Deck Med. Toomey's Chiefs, too. That's not announced

yet, and Kyle doesn't have a great season. So there's my winners and losers from Below Deck and BravoCon 22. When you go behind the ropes and you find out all the tea. And let me say something else about Kyle. I'm over it. One more winner.

I would be remiss. My new, and if you guys ever meet him, your lifelong friends, Kelly and Sarah from Above Deck Pod. Couldn't have been sweeter, ladies. We went out and got espresso martinis together. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. And they're a really good, actually, foil to us.

If you find us a little off color, go listen to Above Deck Pod. They want to be where you can listen in the car with the kids. Great ladies. Right. And we all all agreed rising tides lift all boats i actually did a little we did a little impromptu uh podcast in the in the thing i'll be checking his bank statements to see if you got a little payment for this huge plug you're giving them can we get into the show oh sure kelly and sarah big winners so here's how intense this whole this whole thing is you know this whole thing with Natalia and Kyle fight

here's how intense this whole thing is we don't even get an intro we don't roll an opening with the uplifting house music and the spins and the smiles because this the 15th fight between these two is way too cray to get bogged down with all

that mess you know the to be continued cards the music stings the skipping of the intros not skipping of the intros it is all over the fucking place it is like the manatees picking out the balls to write family guy jokes they're just like this oh fuck it this week no intro this week to be continued it's just it's it's so i think they're trying to ab test ways to bring up the ratings like oh let's go no intro maybe let's give a really long recap to try to show the drama right let's let's do to be continued they're trying anything but hey if there's no drama there's no drama let's end this season why is there another charter yeah there's no drama i like sometimes i i like the drama of the dinners and stuff but i have to tell you this season of dinners

what a bum out there hasn't been one dinner i know they're supposed to fight like the housewives you know they say all right you're all here start fighting each other but it seems like maybe they're taking the playbook too seriously we've spoken about it before but the nest of the water moccasins that are the sea rats they're not in a ball of snakes this body of water is not being utilized nobody is sucking nobody is fucking and that is kind of a testament to the strength of the other parts of this season but yeah when we go out we know nothing's getting messy the only thing that that is going to happen is storm's going to go big spoon natalia and then kick get kicked the fuck out of her bunk that's it you know and kyle's going to cry a little bit

so let's get back to the table kyle goes off with ursula and she regurgitates her really productive words of wisdom you don't need to apologize for flaming your co-worker in front of guests which is just wild and it's kind of the whole reason we're here um storm sits with natalia to cheer her up slash try to use this time to clear up all the awkwardness of their relationship storm what are you doing not now storm it's not a good time jesus man shut up storm shut up storm but it kind of worked out for him later not gonna get it out of myself uh natalia says she wants to leave so naturally storm stands up in a huff and natasha what a peach this sea witch is she sees she says my team's really embroiled in a lot of drama you know and i would look at her and just go you know you're the

one who has been stoking these fires and for that we thank you it's great tv well natalia would also say that uh natasha as a manager the whole reason they're fighting at this fucking dinner table when they should be throwing down espresso martinis and thinking about who you're gonna bang that night in the jacuzzi right is because natasha didn't do her fucking job on the boat if she had told kyle hey stop calling her a bitch or i'm gonna have to uh you know you're gonna get a time out there right right i even think she didn't even have to do that because it seemed like it was over once the apology happened had she not stoked the flame and told him he didn't need to do that i think that's the real impetus for this fight at surface level you think it's because of storm because he was a filthy narc shut up storm but uh right right he was a he was a part of it but

more natasha hey a little uh natasha literally says i need to do something but and then it's just a thousand yard stare you know as i was watching this watching this episode, I was thinking back to this weekend when I watched the Mario Batali documentary called The Rise and Fall of the Super Chef, Mario Batali. And it gets into the weeds of- Did they show you that real world footage of him in that room? No. Oh, it's so creepy.

Really? Yeah. They had plenty of footage on him though. So it got me to thinking about the sea rat job and how similar it is to the restaurant business it's just it's fraught with sexual harassment claims and i was like very much like a restaurant they interviewed a girl that hated and worked at a place called the spotted pig one of his like hot spots we'd grab a lot of ass yeah and oh that's right that's her and uh they were saying there's no hr department in restaurants. Right. And that's the same with these fucking yachts.

Yeah. So I don't know. They need one. And also no more dinners. No more dinners? No more dinners with these people. No more? I was bummed out.

The Deckys are doing great. I wanted to go back to the boat and sleep. The Deckys are doing great. to go back to the boat and sleep the deckies are doing great um and natasha to her is the note i have which isn't going to really help us here but uh everyone gets back to the table at some point and i don't know if everybody's back here or not but reed does take it upon himself to whisper like a conflict resolution cult leader and this poor guy he's just not ready to be on tv i don't think he hangs on his words a little too much and when he watches this moment back where he spews out this horseshit line the one thing i've learned about conflict resolution keep it private he's gonna give himself the ick when he sees

himself say that because that's not a thing i think i think that's the one thing if I've learned one thing about conflict resolution it's to keep it that's just a nonsense thing to say can I tell you something that 100% happened behind the cameras is producer Jared said uh Reed do you mind coming over here for a second why don't you go take a bathroom break buddy get out of here you're yucking everybody yeah and also we live off conflict so you're not helping anybody reality tv is solely based on very public conflict right if you keep it in private then we're watching what are we watching pay drive c c-span yeah um we're um well we'll get to his classroom where he learned conflict resolution later. That being bar fights in Tuscaloosa.

Reed, fucking let people fight. You don't know these people. I agree that we need conflict on the show, but I love Reed. I love Reed. Heartbreaking moment. Natalia says to Kyle, we're no longer friends. And Kyle says, we never were. I mean, dagger. My God. to kyle we're no longer friends and kyle says we never were i mean dagger my god um read shut up block it out and stay cool um oh no no he says he says to kyle block it out and say

cool there is a dr phil aspect to him he's like a a poor man's Tony Robbins here. Natalia finally just says, please stop talking. We haven't gotten much on Reed C-Rep past, but he really sounds like a child of divorce, the way he just doesn't want anybody to fight at the dinner table. Can't everything be okay? He does sound like that. I think the more likely outcome is that he is a child of an intact marriage that wants to pry itself away from the other counterpoint as badly as possible. But due to the eternal hellfire that the two would find themselves in, should they be divorced? I think he's seen a lot of fights at the dinner table.

Every time mom moved out for a couple days, Reed started cutting himself, so then they got back together. He actually kept them together. Yikes! So, we come to find these lessons were learned at Barber Alls in Tuscaloosa. I already said that. Natalia, with a great line of her own, she says, this is the worst at-table behavior

of our entire lives. My God, these lines are so oddly broad and specific at the same time. We head to a new setting, and I thought we were going to resolve the worst table behavior of our lives, but alas, we do not. Nat gets up. Storm comes back and tells Z a story. And the story goes like this. I found you a McDonald's.

I went inside. I ordered six cheeseburgers. They said, we're closed. To which Z responds, go chat to your woman. Now, we could get into the specifics of this story because it was really confusing

to me. How do you enter into the establishment, get the order out, then be told that it's closed? But we've got a lot more show to cover yeah they're like sir this is a wendy's so um no i haven't what is that people just will say that like when someone's like really out of pocket but this actually applies right right right right right uh so courtney i have heard that i have heard that i'm a millennial so courtney tells storm um to leave with natalia and natalia kind of audibly icks out at that did you guys catch that yeah yeah this is where court told her like you

should probably resolve this by talking it out too she's like why don't you storm why don't you take her home and natalia's like yeah storm's like i don't think she wants to but it turned out to work out pretty deece actually um that they do kind of make out a bit after um and then ultimately what happens will always happen he'll head to the loo and use his tears as lubrication well in my book cracking the code closing more ass for less money there is a chapter where I say, wait it out. You can always wait it out. If you got nothing better to do, put yourself in that position. She'll need a crying shoulder to lay her head into and eventually do a little makeout session and then get you hard.

And then kick you out and you'll leave with blue balls and be very depressed. In terms of the just fantastic advice you've got for young men in that book, which is soon to hit Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble and places like that. If we can just get it through Simon and Schuster, whatever publishing house it's at. That's one of the worst pieces of advice I've really ever heard. You're telling young men to remain in the friend zone. Well, if you've got nothing to do.

Oh, I'm sorry. It was called Always Be a Relief Pitcher. I'll send, I'll put it. All right, so Dave talks to or walks Tosh. Honestly, we've seen Storm, a lot of the way he is handling Natalia kind of change halfway through the season. I wonder if somehow he got himself an advanced copy of your book. I'll tell you, if we ever interview him, I'll go, what's the number one rule?

He'll go, always wait in the bullpen. He's going to talk like that? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so Dave walks Tosh back to the vans, and yeeshka. This is awkward. Oh, boy. He says himself he should stop hitting on her.

Oh, boy. Yeah. Stop. Stop what you're doing but alas he cannot the texts they get back to the boat well first off when he's walking with he says uh you still with that guy and then she's like just basically get we can't will you get out yeah please please stop uh but then the texts start to to fly And there was a weird camera angle, too. It was over the shoulder, kind of, hey, watch this, boys, kind of shot. It was really, really strange.

But we will find out the ruin that Dave has laid waste to their relationship in the morning. But before we get there, let's take a quick break. Yeah, what's up? I thought about the text. break yeah what's up i thought about the the text because they thank god dave uses whatsapp because he had those messages deleted that were definitely calling her a fucking bitch and shit right uh so he's just he learned his lessons before they were texting back and forth live so he couldn't delete it right uh and that's why that camera angle is so important got it got it okay see see that where it said I was confused about whose phone it was and whatsapp is such a unique

application that Facebook was somehow allowed to acquire so that they could not die but Dave was a little bit of a winner from BravoCon22 ladies love Dave he took his shirt off during the panel big six pack so let's get to the

next morning, but before we do, let's take a quick break to talk about these wonderful sponsors. If I were to ask you to name a movie by John Travolta or Tom Hanks, could you answer in under 15 seconds? Could you? Could you say Grease? Could you say Castaway?

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visit etitude.com slash below deck and enter in promo code Below Deck. Remember, that's Etitude, E-T-T-I-T-U-D-E as in Eco Attitude. Order today for free shipping and 20% off your order at Etitude.com slash Below Deck and use promo code Below Deck. Sleep well. Sleep good for the environment. Next morning. So the texts are back on the table in the morning. I feel for Ursula a little bit,

and also not, because I think that this is 80 to 90% Dave's fault. But let's not pretend like there haven't been a few percentage points going Natasha's way. You know, the winks and the history and the thoughts of not liking to be alone and that dave is nice to cuddle there's there's some friction in the air between them but dave you know it's not good for you and she said no numerous times stop it she's absolutely leaving

bread crumb crumbs for simps out there and he's picking them up it's mostly his fault no one's forced to eat those bread crumbs right she's picking them up it's mostly his fault no one's forced to eat those breadcrumbs right she's leaving them yeah i will say this the way she handled it i didn't see the text did they show it but it was basically let's keep this professional moving forward right that's the best thing you can say yeah all right she's all right dave don't make us side with i wanted to call my buddy but again again, it wouldn't help anything. It wouldn't help matters. Don't make a side with the antagonist of the Little Mermaid, okay?

We gotta move on to the Pratt and Shade meeting! Gerald and Catherine Miller, both successful entrepreneurs from West Hartford, Connecticut, and have had their products showcased on cable shopping networks, which is the bar of successful entrepreneurs. Sure, sure. I watched Shark Tank.

I ran out of time. I did want to look into it if they're on the episode next week. Maybe I'll add an addendum. They are no strangers to luxury boats and have had their own 58-foot sailing yacht, which Gerald captained. Leela is their youngest daughter and is a yacht broker and the party animal of the group.

She is looking forward to her 21st birthday. How do you party if you're not 21? Huh? Maritime law? Yeah. On board with some shots of Don Julio 1942. And how would you know what that tastes like? Hmm.

Grace, a senior in college, grew up sailing. She has high standards and expects the crew to deliver peer excellence. Sorry, is there a more... It's crazy how much i've loosened the reins and allowing this but yeah is there is there a more uh pathetic ruse cast on people with a little bit of money more than don julio 19 i like it's just fucking i thought i was gonna be chuggy by bringing up how chuggy that is yeah yeah that's pretty pathetic it's choogy as fuck it's choogy as fuck it's all about fucking casamigos now dos dos hombres you know aaron paul that racist aaron paul's tequila go ahead i'm sorry i'm a racist cue the music behind me all these white people

ravaging the agave and culturally appropriating from the mexican culture exactly dude it's disgusting me also joining lila and grace's are our lila and grace's boyfriends kevin and isaac kevin is a professional dirt bike racer and isaac is a college lacrosse player additionally tenley and bent god it's crazy the how duke lacrosse actually just those detectives sullied the name of lacrosse players. They didn't even do it. She lied the whole time. But no one remembers that. Kevin, longtime family friends of the Millers will be hitting the high seas with them.

They are ready for some strong martinis and a much-needed vacation. For their anniversary, Gerald and Catherine have requested a salsa instructor to teach them some moves. For Lila's 21st birthday dinner, she would like an elegant and classy five-course meal being an active family they've also requested a yoga instructor for a two day for a day two of their charter and yeah that's it they want the water toys they love the water they're not gonna be able to do it yeah they're not gonna be able to do it that concludes it did the whole team rape her was that the thing that's what they said happened, but no one... The whole team? My God. Well, that DA, he went after those boys to ruin their names. How have there not been a...

There probably has been a documentary. Oh, there's two of them. It goes back to last week's PMZ. Everybody check out PMZ, $10 tier, patreon.com, slash another podcast number. Did that guy Brock get off because his daddy paid the judge? You remember that guy Brock? Who's Brock? Kill that kid.

He raped some girl behind a dumpster. That guy did it. He did it. That guy should be chemically castrated. Brock Lesnar, that was the name. Yeah, Brock Lesnar. God, how could I forget? He's got that big sword tattooed on his chest.

And that rich daddy. So enough about all that tea. Let's get to the climactic moment the interior team meets. Natalia versus Kyle. Well, at the end of the preference sheet, Sandy basically tells everybody that they're not sure they're going to get off the dock. And to which, if I was a charter guest paying $60,000, I would say, no leaving the dock, no money.

Well, no, you can't do that. What you can do is never go on this kind of vacation because it's not seven star service where'd you get those other two stars i mean my god same same note but um also there is and we've tried to do the math but i think there's a correct me if i'm wrong is there a 92 chance that you're not gonna leave the dock dock? So why pay for Sea Rats to serve you and you have a 50% chance of just not leaving the dock? One of the worst ways to spend money possible. So Natalia lays out that Kyle has called her a bitch

numerous times. And he essentially says, I do agree that I called you a bitch. Big of you, Kyle. And he also says that the first time he called her a bitch, he felt bad. And that the second time he called her a bitch, he did it to her face. And again, I'll say, big of you, Kyle. He nasty, man.

Well. He nasty. I mean, he's a sassy gay after all. Yeah. But I thought the interesting. So he's a sassy gay after all. Yeah. But, uh, I thought the interesting, uh,

so there's a quick turn here, dude, you know, speaking of sassy guys, you've lamented the fact that you are not gay and you can't get away with squeezing and pretending to gyrate and stuff like that. Um, because you are a heteronormative threat to the safety of women.

Of course. Yes. But this is where that line you step over it when you're you know i'm sure andy dick could go hey bitch you know like that oh yeah people be fine with it but now kyle has gone too far with this and he gets a longer leash so that is an indication of just how nasty he is yes well we'll see everybody uh you. Everybody, you know, I don't know who it said. It was a great man. He said, when you're at your highest moment,

that's when the devil will come for you. And I think Kyle thinks... Is that Will Smith? That was Will Smith. Oh, no, that was Denzel to Will Smith. Oh, is that where I got that from? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, anyway... Denzel's the man. I believe Kyle... Denzel is the man. ...is at his highest moment, and I think that's when the devil will come for him. That's a great, great point. Great point.

Great point. So they quickly get over this, which I thought was fascinating because he's not apologizing for calling her a bitch, and I think I'm ready to have a sequel to that dinner the other night. And I don't know what Tasha said, but she basically said, hey, can we just work together better? And suddenly, like, cue the music. Everybody's hugging each other.

Yeah. And then they're all smiles. And Nat presents a new rule. No more shit talking about people. And Kyle quickly responds, well, we mean just not about us, right? We can still backstab other people. We covered it last week. 99% of the fun is talking shit about people.

We've already removed two people that we can't talk shit about so you know but kyle like you know at a corporate meeting you know like all right i think we have that rule established we'll discuss not talking shit about others at a later date right uh we'll send around a memo so yeah it ends the only way it could with kyle beginning to cry and the three of them hugging so moving on he did talk about how like they kind of like gave him like a redemption moment like oh it's just like my defense mechanism i was like bullied when i was high school yeah prime your fucking river and then they showed some of the pictures of kyle when he was younger and if you recall he did say he came out like just a year or two ago yeah who who do you think you were feeling fooling kyle he was the absolute last

person to know i mean he was wearing lipstick when he was 17 but he's really he's pretty big though well what's that supposed to be i like i wouldn't want to i mean high school bullying in high school is it's a game of size oh that's that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You pick on the weaklings. That's why I was picked on. That's why they took my glasses and they hid them in lockers and I couldn't see anything and I had to cry and go get the head of the camp.

Is this when Ashley Olsen made fun of your socks? No, that was Mary-Kate or... She was a bully too, Dylan. I remember your clip. You could have taken her down. Your story is a great APS clip. Love that bully story one. So, Natasha.

No, first really creepy line from Reed. Wow, this is coming off beautifully. Reed. Fuck, dude. Natasha makes coffee and Dave pulls this weird thing where he goes, don't worry, I'll make my own. Dave, you gotta chill, man. It's coming off so weird.

It's coming off so fucking weird and pathetic. You know, she doesn't want it, but kind of does, but more so doesn't. So just stop moping. It's very unbecoming. We get ready for the guests. A lot of youngins here. And I like that because oftentimes wealthy youths are petulant little assholes. And that turned out to be the case.

The dad is in Gucci's that look like vans. And these people are not happy about leaving the dock. These people are not happy about not leaving the dock. These people are going to suck. You want to know the first rule of Chugi? Acknowledging the fashion that you're wearing. She's like, oh, dad, are you wearing, you know, like. You're wearing your Gucci's and also they look like vans so why did you get those you're

50 and one tell of old guys that are lame is they think by wearing like the cool new shoes i was in a meeting i'll leave the name out we're both the ceo and the fucking owner of the company both one in their 60s one in their late 70s and they were comparing their shoes that they just bought with each other. I was like, you guys are so fucking lame. I hope you buy my bag of bullshit I'm trying to sell you. Real wealth. I want to own your ass. You should have worn nice shoes.

Evidently, they're into that. Real wealth has brandless, expensive clothing. Richest guy I ever met, you'd never know he drives a pickup truck. It's worth a billion dollars. Alec Trebek. Kid went to my school, just drove a normal pickup truck. I'm happy to hear that.

Yeah. Very, very down-to-earth guy. All right. So the dad is in Gucci's. We're moving on. We're getting a little tour, and the mom says, hot tub looks a little dirty. Also, a lot of I want to go in the oceans.

Yeah, well, you can't. So Natasha gives us a little history on a lot of i want to go in the oceans yeah well you can't uh so natasha gives us a little history on what these people are like um the people that are in the yachting world they stress test uh the standard of excellence on these boats like dave chang's pop you know what i mean uh dave and tosh get into another little tiff again dave you just gotta cool it man you gotta cool it don man. You got to cool it. Don't make a side with Natasha. We don't want to do that. Storm and Courtney go out to see if they can go out.

Well, they want to make sure if they go out, they won't kill everybody. But this was teased before we got to commercial break. Yes, it was. This was Courtney and Storm going out. Very dangerous. And once again, we have one of these above deck things. Bravo. Fucking stop it.

This is not a 007 film, okay? We know that everybody's going to be okay. Otherwise, we would have news reports coming out months ahead of time. Someone killed on the scene of Below Deck. Stop. And we would have been teased with it 8,000 times already. That guy almost lost a fucking leg. And congratulations on your recent engagement, Ashton.

Pray for her. So, sake bombs get sucked down and storms gets on the blower to Rico. But let's get to lunch. Prawn, avocado, and spicy salmon. It looks beautiful. Thank you, but what about the food, says Kyle. Not one of your best. That's the kind of line that elicits forced laughter you know what i mean so uh so that so that he's not uncomfortable right right like you gotta go so that he's not uncomfortable

um the primary says this was good but what comes next and herein lies the insatiability of the western obsession with more right guys more uh more and more more more pat riley called it the disease of more yes it's the disease of more in the death crypt that we have on the self you know we were talking about this um before the mics heated up all of us and you know we were talking about how sitiddhartha said that there are five aggregates that make up the self and that we're not in control of a single one of them, which begs the question, who am I?

What is me? You know what I mean? So be present. Your shoes are fucking chuggy. Moving on, the wontons are polished off, and we've got to take a break to talk about these wonderful sponsors. off and we've got to take a break to talk about these wonderful sponsors. Our next partner has a product that I use literally every day.

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done it but pat has done it pat is pat has the kindest things in the world to say about it right because i know what it's like to try to find an in-person therapist. So does Pat. He says BetterHelp is infinitely easier. Everyone deserves to feel their best. BetterHelp makes it easier to get started on that, okay? All the benefits of in-person therapy, plus it's more convenient, more accessible, and more affordable, okay? Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash below deck. Again, that is betterhelp.com slash below deck to get 10% off your first month. Don't worry about life. You'll handle it with BetterHelp. So the guests head out to some boring place. i didn't think it was boring at all i didn't think it was boring you're supposed to be on a yacht out in the middle of the ocean looking really like you're a king or a queen from like uh saudi arabia like hey what are those people holy shit is that a 90 foot slide

i want to be those people when they're at this site you're like yeah me and the family we got a deal on Tripmasters. Let's watch some cannons, kids. I was going back and forth with it because at first it seemed like a chore. Oh, let's get off the yacht. That's a completely opposite of why I got the vacation. I wanted to be in this one spot. But then when they saw the cannons, they got pretty excited.

And then when they got to pick up the balls and they pretended they were giant anal beads, that looked fun to me. I was in. Bro, you're watching a fucking cannon go off like it's fucking cool stop talking about going out in the water be present you don't have any control of the five aggregates there is no you jesus so storm heads what have you been listening the storm heads up for another cuddle right but he's you know he's in the good book says natalia what does that mean you know i was thinking i think it means the best possible outcome for storm i think is a hickey i think that's the that's the best possible outcome

for storm i think a handy i was say handy, but not to completion. Oh, no, no. Just feeling around there. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Which I actually like. Just a light. I mean, that's too much. I would say that's too much.

Reed stands atop the tower and says, this certainly isn't Alabama. No, it's not, Reed. Alabama is a fucking bog. So we're getting ready for dinner. It's my favorite Piella The unfortunate thing is that I'm not sure Dave will be able to achieve The Socorot as he has a big

Poopy diaper right now He's got a case of that I don't give a fuck it It's a serious disease It causes people Who are supposed to serve people paying $60,000 a day To not give a fuck serious disease it causes uh people uh who are supposed to serve people paying six thousand uh sixty thousand dollars a day to not give a fuck his mind is elsewhere dave come on brother i figured that out by the name of the disease case of i don't give a fuck it's yeah yeah yeah it's

like something out of a sketch comedy show his otf she's like it's hard to process no chance thought there was but there's no chance i just want to run away dave focus on the sokarot man there are plenty of other fish in the sea hey and uh there is no self dave be present five aggregates man you know episode title you, what someone would say, does a king have control over his kingdom? Well, yes, but are you in control of those five components? No. So you're not the king of your own domain, meaning there is no I, Pat. Well, I was going to talk about Dave,

because you know I like Dave. That's a heavy YouTube red hole. But I'm going to compare Dave to Superman, all right? But you guys will understand the similarities right here. Right. Superman lost his power when Kryptonite was present. Three doors down. Yeah.

But Dave, not seeing Tasha's tits, takes away his will to live and cook. Right. So the guests get ready. It's his Kryptonite. The guests get ready for a Spanish feast. And Timeshare's got to make sure the guests are happy, right? Because it's one of those challenges. Oh, hey.

Hey. How's dinner? We are celebrating 25 lovely years of marriage. And in that time, only two assistants fucked behind closed doors. So we now know that these people are class right we know that yachting is class right it's all elegance so what is our first drink uh tosh has prepared leg spreaders i'm just so glad i guess it would have been good good tv but i don't know if i would have been able to handle it had she presented those as leg spreaders to them i was like don't please

don't please do tosh and the guy that sold me coke for the first time make the exact kind of drink make the exact kind of drink so dinner is a lot and not good it's like a Cece's pizza. Quantity over quality. We've got rye bread with cacao. Interesting. Want to try it. We've got Spanish tortillas.

What? Tortillas. It did not look like there was the correct amount of browning achieved, but that's a personal preference for me when I make my tortillas. I also like a nice little bit of brown on the tortillas. Yeah, on a tortilla. Now, do yourself a favor, Sunday morning, wake up early, put a good movie on with a partner,

make a tortilla, okay? Couple potatoes, couple onions, some eggs, good olive oil, and a little mayonnaise and lemon. Make it thin and drizzle that right over the top, a little parsley, just to make it look a fish. You will have a fantastic morning unless you're watching St. Elmo's Fire, which is one of the worst films ever made in the history of American cinema.

Great soundtrack by John Parr, though. Dude! I can see the oceans flying. Rob Lowe is a St. Elmo's flying. Rob Lowe is a rapist, I think. Yeah. And also plays saxophone for 15 minutes straight of that movie. Oh, by the way, Joe...

So bad. Schumacher. Overrated movie. This is when everyone was doing coke and no one knew any better. Everyone was trying to reproduce The Breakfast Club. Yeah. It was like 16 candles in The Breakfast Club. We got to get back to the show. Sure, sure me so it's horrible i was told nonsense i needed to think

it was awesome as a kid there's a famous scene where ali sheedy and i forget the other actor who was also a movie star at the time joel schumacher is like you guys supposed to have sex and he screams at him start fucking you're supposed to be fucking right i don't think that would pass the mustard now in 2022 olivia wild would be dragged for that kind of direction so we've also got uh little bowls of roasted broccoli yeah oh uh we've got battered cod and manchego fried fish and cheese huh and then the daughter at this point has fucking had it. Okay. She says this is supposed to be seven star service. Well, I mean, you got half off on a yacht vacation because you can't afford a real yacht vacation.

So calm the fuck down. The paella is served. Didn't get a clean enough look. But hearing these people who think that Don Julio 1942 is the creme de la creme, I don't really take their criticisms of the dish with too much salt. The worst thing you can levy at a paella is gummy. Crispy is not one of them.

It's like a Spanish Tadik kind of quality. If there's not a little crisp, we've talked about it so many times, the socarrat's supposed to be there. So seven stars, what are you talking about? Crispy, what are you talking about? Go many times. The Socorro's supposed to be there. So seven stars. What are you talking about? Crispy. What are you talking about?

Go to bed. Maybe we'll get out of the ocean tomorrow. I don't like you. When we eventually get invited to BravoCon, you should moderate a panel with only below deck chefs. I would love that. It would be much better if they got a chef of note, but I think it would be a hoot.

Or maybe we just try to get like dave and rachel on the zoom i would love to just hear you fucking yeah fuck yeah that'd be fun either way dangerous dave you did the 25th uh anniversary of their wedding dirty brother 43 pots dude oh you know what no 25 pots one pot for each year nice so re So Reed likes the blonde. Shocker. She looks like the entire campus of Alabama. And Kyle eats shit and begins to weep. We get smacked with another very dramatic TBC, and we are on our way to episode 16 or 17. I wonder if Kyle is able to walk after that fall.

Who knows, man? We don't know. He actually gained points back with me his comedic fall and the way he looked like uh uh he did will farrell and austin powers too when they threw the people yeah oh he did that he did that sound yeah i'm very badly hurt i'm burnt but i'm still alive but i i thought the way he was laying there was like Jim Carrey on the tarmac of Liar Liar. He just completely flat. I appreciated it. He made the same noise that you

made when you got on that roller coaster at the county fair. So that's it for us. iTunes writings and reviews. No, I want your money. Patreon. Patreon. Tell your friends, tell your family. We love you very much for supporting us. We'll see you next week.'m dylan saying goodbye nick say goodbye bye voyage bye guys Thank you.