Kill James Bond! - She Cleared the Railing | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S3 E13

Episode Date: May 24, 2022

Pat, Nick and Dylan are back to break down another episode of Below Deck including montages, great great falls, great great generals, flirting, racing, the food at P.F. Changs and even more Below Deck Sailing Yacht. Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Down Under, Below Deck Sailing Yacht seasons 1 & 2 AND Love is Blind Season 2.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetworkVideo of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw?sub_confirmation=1This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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I want to open. It's all over the map. I want to open up a new rap theme steak restaurant and call it hip over the map. I want to open up a new rap theme steak restaurant and call it Hip Hop Play. Hey, so yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Welcome aboard and to the Brands Banking New Episode of another... Belodic. Sailing out podcast, my name is Dylan, I'm settled up next to one real Nicholas Davis, having trouble with his cams.

It's hurting me. Ahoi Métis. Pat. Permission to come aboard. Prodoso out there, Permission granted. Sup. How are permission granted, Sup. How are you okay? Sup.

Nick, how are the numbers? Are we growing? I can't tell, I don't look anymore. This show, it's gangbusters. I feel like we're about to pass call her daddy and it's crazy considering we're so specific to below debt. How'd we do it?

We don't know, but we'll just keep tracking along, Pat, Sup. Hey, all right, so. I keep saying that because we'll just keep tracking along, Pat. So, hey, all right. So keep saying that because we have public service. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, that's why I was kind of bringing up the numbers. So I am going to officially announce that the another podcast network will be having its first live show as a guest panelists. I don't know if we can. You know, I was at a wedding one time in BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM B or seconds he would have been shot on site by somebody after a while. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr where you hang out after the show, you get to mix it up with her. Which means you get to mix it up with us too. So not only we're gonna make you laugh or half hour on stage,

but then hang out and meet us in person for the first time. It's fun. These are fun things to do. Can you mention that thing that you mentioned to me off there, another kind of attraction for it? Is that not set in stone? It's not set in stone, so Kate didn't want me to say it, which is working on it.

I wanna meet our fans, but I don't wanna be subjected to yucking it up with the rest of the, you know. I mean, we talked about it on a podcast show. I don't like working on it. I want to be our fans, but I don't want to be subjected to yucking it up with the rest of the. I mean, we talked about it on a podcast show. I don't like small talk. Dylan, don't worry about it. The people who don't know who you are, just as not interested in talking to you.

Well, once we light up the stage, the Irvine improv, July 13th, people are going to be like, well, who are you? I take that. July 13th at the Irvine improv. You just need to go to improv.com Because there's a bunch of them and you want to look for the shows for the Irvine improv and then Kate Casey has a couple different Packages you can buy and will be there and I'm not allowed to say it yet But potentially someone that used to be really pop field cast member on Orange County housewives. Oh, big of housewives

Another beloved. Oh, go ahead. Just, I mean, I'm like in my head, I'm a little like, oh God, what am I gonna talk about? It's like kind of a weird crowd. Like they don't watch MMA. I would like to challenge this RHOC cast member to a battle of wits at some point,

if that is possible. Why don't we try to fight her? Battle of wits, Dylan. I'm saying, don't be a coward, just fucking fighter. I feel like Pat's not gonna suggest that to KKC, so I will have to say to KKC. But so go over there, don't wait, because I already talked to Kate,

she's already sold half the room out in a week. So go buy your tickets so you can see us live. And speaking of special guest, Housewives, Segui, we are covering the real Housewives of Beverly Hills at patreon.com slash another podcast network. What a show it has been. If you're a Real Housewives fan, if you wanna support us, if for some reason,

you have not scrounged together 500 cents every month to support us monetarily in the fashion that makes us love you the most. Go, do it. Cause there's below deck down under there. The worst person of all time. Chef Ryan pizza rat Philly trash Ryan is on that show as well as hotcaptain go to patreon.com slash another podcast network.

What about that other perk we all kind of talked about this weekend? Hit it. Hit it. Necky. Oh, love that. Thank you. And and just chill. Oh, love that, thank you. And just chill, okay? We got some announcements. We're gonna get to the show. These are all exciting opportunities for you guys,

so I don't know why anybody would be complaining. Maybe I'm projecting, but I can feel it in their cars and stuff, just take a chill. So a lot of people are grateful all the amazing products we inform them about and offer them discounts on. Day in Magic Mine, Better Help, Brothies, all that stuff. But not every buddy loves it.

Some people shockingly enough only come here to listen to us talk about below depth. Very strange. And you now are afforded that opportunity instead of the seven to eight minutes of ads we sometimes have in a full show. It's not that heavy this night, don't worry. But if you sign up for our $10 tier at patreon.com Sleshing other podcast network you will officially get all our shows audio on one feed add free We've heard the yippurin. We've heard the Yammer and we're listening to you. Okay. No ads 10 bucks a month

Go check it out more work for Dylan. You'll get all the video too. All the video, the PMZ. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Snoot face, I was gonna get there. There's also PMZ, which stands for Patrick, PMZ, bump, bump, bump. Can we get in the show? Yeah.

Bump, bump, bump is eerily similar to, boom, boom, boom, boom. Well, it's an exciting night. For us, I mean, I fucking hated this episode. Oh, you're getting into a watch. Just start that. Let's get into okay. I'll start so many Going about montages. That's how you know an episode is bad when they're just you find yourself with two to three like two to three Minute spells and you're in the middle and you're just like they're just doing stuff. They're just You're just like, they're just doing stuff. They're just washing windows and putting on wigs

and walking, there's nothing happening. They're heading up for your knots. I mean, in a major way. Does Bravo ever have to explain to the people that will be advertising on a particular episode? What happens? Like, if it was an episode of Matlock or something like that. I don't understand why a spaghetti company

will want to pay for it. Like, what happens in the episode? Oh, well, this guy's going around. He's killing hookers. Whoa, what happens? Well, we find the guy, this guy's going around, he's killing hookers. Whoa, what happens? Well, we find the guy, but it's pretty creepy. Wow, that sounds good. All right, I'll buy a do-and-add-by for spaghetti.

Yeah. You're not aging yourself? No, not at all, don't. What are you talking about? And then this fucking show, Shivers Haka! That's not locked, sorry. Did it interrupt your interruption of my thoughts and thoughts?

I hand it back to you. Do you? Yes. But I will do this. Well,ruption? My thoughts and thoughts. I hand it back to you. Do you? Yes. But I will do this. Well, you didn't finish your point. I'll finish it for him. Imagine if the advertiser caused up the producers of Matt Locke and they're like, what happens this week?

And they're like, nothing. Right. I don't think those advertisers buy that space. They're not going to want to buy that space. They'd much rather have their product associated with horror murder than boring, boring television. And then the producers are like, oh wait, did we say nothing? A 10-course meal. Which was beautiful, but again has nothing to do with MATLAB.

This will end my thoughts and pots. Below deck. You need to keep hiring bad chefs, okay? Because it's just... Dilly can! But it doesn't have a big bull pit. If these guys are just really it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, Whoever I I concur for the most part I mean nothing there's some days like I have more time than others What I'm about to watch these shows and like once this was released? I was ready. I was ready to sit down there take notes And I'm just open there taping my eyes open ready to get every single detail and nothing Except that Scarlett really wants to TV time making out out with Gary and the Longer, getting ahead of myself,

but other than that, pretty boring Glenn, I didn't see him getting excited about racing 12 knots. He's so cute and he's excited. I'm glad you touched on that neck. I had an existential thought, while watching this particular episode. My two and a half year old was playing with their toys by my side.

I was watching this episode, and I was questioning why am I doing this. Yeah, I should be playing with my daughter. Right. Yeah, this was horrible. Here's the other thing. The guests are perfectly nice. Now we have...

Hang on a second now. Now, you've just puckered Nick up a little bit because in Nick, this is a dream job. You know, why would you look upon your little daughter and regret doing this? Right? Am I right? Uh, yeah. I mean, she's right, she's there.

The fact that, I mean, you can see her, I feel like it's best both the world. What are you gonna, are you going to get on the ground and like not have any object permanence with her? Like, chill the fuck out, man, this is fun. But what a terrible episode, go out, fat. Okay, imagine Pat trying to weave a narrative with these toys and her just being like,

yeah, like ice cream ice cream No, LA the guests are perfectly nice. Yeah, and quit touching my stuff. Ellie my equipment their palettes are obviously Florida Their tongues are from Florida because they're very trash Very nice, but they're also very boring. So nothing happened there But I did find myself noticing something hadn't really caught my eye before and you know I'm a detailed motherfucker. They never pretend that Colin has a job. No.

Yeah. I see he's lifted a finger on this boat in 13 episodes. There's this shot of him just sorting what I assumed to be like like drill bit parts. Like he's just like going through, I'm not very handy, so I don't know what you call me. That's probably just some b-roll. Yeah, like, hey, Colin, that drawer full of screws and whatnot, just start rifling through him.

Like you're doing something. Like you're doing something. He doesn't go here. Yeah. He's got a lot to say about the other members of the crew. That's a, we need C-dog though. He's a fire starter, okay? He's a shitster.

I think too many people said, hey, I'd like that guy from last season and now they don't really have anything for him to do. Well, Case in point, bad episode. We don't get enough C-dog, okay? We need a night out. We need a night out with Gary and Scarlett. We need to see what Daisy's gonna do.

We need to see what Ash is gonna do. And we need to see. Do you want my knots? Yeah, zero. Nice. All right, Let's get into it Last we left off Oh, man, are we recording? Yeah, holy shit That look over at the board just gave me we don't want to lose that panic 10 minutes of that magic

I would have been slam on my head against the door We were very genuinely excited about those PSAs And that would be hard to conjure up again, but you know So last we left off Ashley was vomiting up the pasta that she had gussled down and was saying that Knowing that Scarlet has no experience has given her life. What an evil creature And Daisy was fed up with it and she did her best to implore upon this young Sea Rat that she was missing the team spirit of the job, but before we get into any of it, let's take a quick break To get to the preference

She's meeting from the week before from the week before This is where neck they seem very nervous. Oh, no Holy fuck Hey, I haven't seen that face on him before no, no, no, no, no, see what what we're gonna do now He's grabbing it looks like he wants to kill a chicken with a bone This is a perfect time to talk about why you need magic mind, right? Because magic mind if ingested once each and every day, we'll give you the clarity

that Nick is so lacking in this moment. Last week, we did say that we were going to begin this episode with the preference sheet meeting. And I fear now that Nick is going to pull up the preference sheet meeting. That's okay. Thank God. But if you go to magicbind.co and enter in promo code, Glenn, you will get 25% off. And these things will not happen. You will have a superhuman clarity as in, as we've talked about so often, because of the changa, because of the match and the echinacea. Go to MagicBind.com and enter in promo code Glenn to get 25% off.

I just remind the audience, I hate to wear down an old bit, but last week that road rage incident. Perhaps that was inappropriate. The guy pissed me off. I took a swig in my magic mind. I threw his own car at. Right, right. He was pissed. Yeah. You guys didn't know I actually had this plan the whole time. I'm trying to bring in a special guest for the preferred sheet meeting. That's charter guest, Jess Samado. Oh, nice. I love Jess.

She's definitely not answering. I did talk a little smack about her. What a horrible idea. What if she answered, though? What a horrible idea. You have a number, huh? We're going to say it's Instagram. But the last message, she had message me

at an left-run red and she said, Instagram. She said, is the podcast available yet two years ago So yeah, if you have magic mind you will not oh what essentially amounts to a drunk dial This is a panic dial people in the middle of a middle of our show and they will not answer So go to magic mind.co enter and turn promo code Glend Shame on you. Shame on you. All right, we're going to push this a breffer chief meeting back two weeks.

And I'm going to have the best one ever. Might have to go back to back. I'm very excited. So let's get into it. They swap out the third stew with junior stew on the chai run. So that I mean, what just brutal move from from production. And then we move on to more issues with the sea rats. Barnables is told

that he is on nights and he is not happy. He says, and I quote, when you want the fun exciting guy working during the day, so you can accrue more tips. Episode two or three and we've got his first cringe pickup. I don't know what they're plowing these kids with over at that fucking shitty hotel down the street. I mean, I agree with him. I find side showbob pretty fun, and I think if communication was better on this boat,

they could have worked this out the deck team like why the fuck are we doing this? Well, he doesn't wanna do the night shifts because of all the camera people are asleep i think he's a thirsty or oh yeah he's i mean he's already said he wants to siphon rich people's money and i think being famous will help him do that or at least he believes so well i think you know he's on to something but we're gonna move on to something else and that's gary mosing on into the bedroom to try to procure himself what's going to happen to your tongue there he's trying to procure himself a threesome. Um oh hey suck bag don't you've worked to do my god one

track what this dude. Now to be fair to him he was attempting to smooth things over with Ashley but you are correct he did it in the only way a C-rad can to propose a threesome. And if they were game, he's like a brilliant general. He does not make an action unless there are multiple positive outcomes for him at the end of that road, you know.

That's a great point. Yeah, every move he made, he was like he was playing chess with the entire boat and they didn't realize it. The men want to be him, the women want to be with him. He's like George Washington of Sea Rats. No, there's a guy who takes magic mind. Absolutely.

So Scarlett says that she understands the thing with Ashley and doesn't want any drama. Nick left. Oh man, is she. By the end of it, she goes through a a very very sad metamorphosis into someone who's viewing the other women as bitch competition, you know, it's really I Will talk about it, but I don't know what kind of spell he has cast on these people. I mean, it's just unbelievable So we get a little Barnaby weird one rivalry. This is not a storyline that's going anywhere. I don't want to talk about it We got three episodes. Let's see. This is the only exciting part for me. I want them to have a sitcom

Yeah, a couple Well, it's a weird couple it's going to amount to nothing the first chunk of this episode is really just techno music and work I know and fucking wants to see that so Let's move on to Gary being a central casting sexual predator once again. He shaves a raping mustache for the role and then heads down to hug Scarlet from the back. I mean, he's known this girl for 48 hours. This is such an intimate embrace. Dylan, this was a great example of once again, sexual harassment in the workplace is truly contingent

on whether or not the other person is in fact attracted back to you. Yes, because he grabbed her from behind and kissed her neck. Yeah. And thank God for him. She seemed into it. I know. Imagine if she wasn't.

You imagine a Barnaby did this? Pat, you were quite the cops. How about Adrian? We've heard many years stories. We've heard many of your stories of seducing women. Was this type of aggressive physical contact? I feel like that's not really your M.O. Never. Yeah. I would feel so uncomfortable doing that. It's an insane maneuver. Oftentimes brave generals are doubted by their cadets, their squads, but they know the right move. He read the room.

And he went up from behind and fucking hugged her. This was so weird. But he ultimately claims his prize. After trying to kiss her no less than 15 times, he walks away, does a, uh, Homer's dad and walks right back into the laundry room and gets that smooch. But this is what happens when people are victims of crimes. They end up perpetuating that crime on other people and that's not forget he was raped by Ashley.

Yeah, that's a good point. That's a really, really good point. Gary says, I don't know what is so attractive about Scarlet. I just, I can't put my finger on it. Oh, we can. She's a woman. And she's trapped in here with you. I sure when I was watching, she yelled at TV. She's a woman. She's trapped in here with you. I sure when I was watching she yelled at TV.

She's got a pussy. She thinks she's a podcast girl. That's what a hacky joke, Sherry. I have been trying to put my finger on who Scarlett reminds me of. Since she's walked aboard this vessel and I just put my finger on it, it is Ease Girlfriend in the first episode of entourage Kristen. She looks exactly like I'll have a side-by-side for you guys later Thank God for that because I have no fucking idea what you're talking about

Scarlet says there are sparks between her and Gary Nick laugh He is never going to speak to you soon So let's get to our buddies coming aboard. Who are these chicks again? I forget. Jess? Jess is from Jersey or New York, I think. Yeah, she's from someplace east,

and that's what gives her that filthy accent. But they were guests of Erica Rose. Yeah, right, right. And Tottos for Trump last time. Damn near Ru and the whole Vake. Jess had that fire line, probably the reason she was invited back. What kind of mirrors do you have in your house to the Tatas for Trump lady who said she was the most beautiful

and that's why I'm gonna be saying right. Making up for my lack of breath for cheaply. No, that's okay, still trapped baby. So excuse me, they says the chef is the hottest thing they've ever seen, people are really into that Latin dick. Oh, yes. He's blowing the doors off people. I think it helps that he can cook. That's very, that's like a for play for women, you know.

And cookie can first up as a chicken bacon fig with a pear and white wine reduction. Nice little taste treat to keep things off. 70 pounds. So, Marcus has a task ahead of him. He has to make a shellfish free, gluten free, and dairy free dinner, something that he is up to the task to do. If you're not watching down under, reminder, we're covering that at patreon.com, such another podcast network.

And if Chef Ryan was handed a putt this tough, a triple breaker, so to speak, he would have cried about his late father while stabbing the guests that requested it. Okay, so you've got to get over and hear us break that down because he's a bad chef and that's more fun for everyone. So let's get to the rope swing, one of the highlights of the episode. What the boom swing? I believe they refer to it as the boom swing. Yeah, by the way, Dylan, I want to tell you how much of a bald is a comic

uh... comic uh... podcaster i'd written a quick question was genius on the tongue no okay i've grown so much because i started like rejading down some potential jokes you know that the jennifer girl and her landing and it like cawis we got to know me should we go through some of the ones that didn't make the cut? Oh, that definitely didn't. Okay.

Yeah. So you've grown? Yeah. Cause I'd never tell, I'd make a joke about that, you know? Sure, yeah, yeah. Fat joke. It's cheap. I don't think there's very cheap.

I don't think there's really anything to joke about in this instance. I just, I'm shocked a workplace would invite this much liability. There's no way that doesn't go poorly. I'm, I'm just happy she cleared the boat. A hundred percent. For real, a couple things. The rope is not up to snuff. That looks like a creek rope.

That looks like something that's hanging off of some willow somewhere that is going to snap and hurt a child very, very soon. But it was holding up this woman and I farly, Pat, it's cheap though. It's cheap though and it's hurtful though, right? You're right. So I thought what Nick feared was going to happen that she, So I thought what Nick feared was going to happen that she, I mean, I thought she was going to not make it. I thought she was going to barely clear the roof and probably fold herself on the railing. You could hear the ghosts of Reg Lugain is saying don't. Yeah, but I mean feel bad for the railing too.

You don't take that whole thing down. Patrick. So, rule three, he did it. So, what a fall though. I mean, I felt like Sean William Scott when Wheelfare all takes that dart and that. No. Yes. And we just want to take a minute,

all of us from the bottom of our hearts to thank Jess, for giving us the one moment, we can mine some comedy out of this episode. Yeah, very bad. So many. You're a hero. Yeah. All right, so let's get to it meanwhile.

Meanwhile? Scarlett is struggling with forks. One of the primaries is struggling with her hair and the crew is putting fucking wigs on again. What is the fascination with wigs? No one looks good in these wigs. They all lost two points. Boy, I'm sounding like a real fucking pig today.

Yeah. It was all that quality father daughter time. If only we knew the origin of the wigs. If we had a preference, she'd be eating wide. It's just weird. I feel like the white party is now in our rear view, but now there are these, I feel like the wigs come up I don't know every three episodes or something somebody's got a fucking wig on it's weird talking about fifth element a couple weeks ago

You know, I think this will really push people to video, but check out this comparison scarlet and ease girlfriend From episode one of on tarash. Is that not crazy? Yeah, they're similar. All right, so the serial murderer sits down with the women and is just crushing it But the wig humor and I imagine this dinner was hard for him Being around a lot of women in sequence a common pattering of his victims Let's get to the food first up up, duck press cuck-to. I mean, I just can't not fucking speak tonight. Duck press, cuck-to-a, pink and beautiful, rosy media.

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See website for details. You could take that bird to 125 because ducks don't really carry salmonella. They're a beautiful bird, a beautiful metaphor as well. But these people would have just quacked that kind of preparation. And Dylan, what are your thoughts on this? Are they treated eating some fucking duck like they were gonna, I don't know, eat a frog that was barely cooked to our fucking kangaroo?

Well, I get it, it's cute, it walks around, goes quack quack, and you might have, it's delicious though. And it's served in 50% of restaurants. Think of all the Chinese fare and most high-end restaurants. The best preparation of ducks, probably Chinese. Mm-hmm. What the fuck? Picking.

The palettes are pigs. All of these people? Yeah, they're pigs. What if they were eating something like, hey, there's just like PF chags. Well, we'll get to the tempura green beans and PF Chegs later. So, the duck has served with fag and blue cheese for some and not for others. Scarlet fucks this up obviously

and then we get to surf and turf. And I've gotta say, not a croning achievement for Marcos. This is Andy's hotel shit. Or what was that place in Beverly Hills called? I'm sorry. Andes Hotel. Oh, Andes, yeah. Yeah, Led Zeppelin's driving the motorcyclist.

There are last episode of Real Housewives. We cover a dinner menu that the tongue blind women of that show were served that evening to the tune of $200 a person. Oh, I love this. Oh my God, you're using staff from in the risotto. Where did you get that? Gelsons. Idiots. You're using staff from in the risotto. Where did you get that? gelson's Idiots so um

The one in blue is shit face as let's eat with our nuts out. Can we move on? Yeah? I hate people who have to say the joke that like everybody's thinking like they all thought she said nuts That's why everybody is but she had to say it. you're uncomfortable, you're not funny and put the booze down. Hey, put the booze down a little bit, okay? We get 700 shots of this fucking dessert, a bizarre amount of camera coverage for this dessert. Was this the deconstructed chocolate cake? Yes.

Alright, you know I don't know anything about food, but I watch enough iron chef bullshit and b-bobby play it and they're always like, this is a deconstructed whatever the fuck no, it's not yeah It's a fucking piece of chocolate on a fucking cracker with some Flavoman bomb or whatever I'm in bomb. I don't know what the fuck is but you don't get to just make up the rules There should be some laws in in cooking how many how many oh well Patrick there are Does he gets to call this a deconstructed chocolate cake? There should be some laws in cooking. How many, how many, oh, Patrick, there are. Does he get to call this a deconstructed chocolate cake?

Well, I got more like a fucking sweat. Let's get into the debate about weather and not. There are rules in cooking. I call it ingredients. Oh my gosh. Not deconstructed. APS, I gotta talk about this weekend. We went up to a beautiful Burmese restaurant

called The Duchess in Ohai. We're taking there by one of my wife's cousins friends who used to be a chef for Paul Bianca or Chris Bianca, the pizza guy. And then we got a whole tour of the kitchen, sat down for some treats on the house, a couple cocktails. We were an hour and a half late to meet the family and our wives were extremely fucking angry. But you know, 15 15 minutes they we realized they were already at a 10. So let's hang out and just enjoy the treatment. Exactly. Yeah.

It's insanely selfish of them to try to ruin your time. I mean, that's sentenced. That's what I see. I've never seen you happier. You were reflecting upon that. That is your happy. It was unbelievable. We got to go through everything.

I was asking him how much the oven was. He was letting us sample the mise en plaza. I was like, what are those? They're fermented tea leaves. I was like, can I try some? He was like, of course, use the tasting spoons, try it, put it in the growth. This is the dude that had the place that started in Arizona, the Jimmy Kimmel fell in the wind. Well, no, that was, you know that guy too? That was our friend, Cam's boss. Okay. And his Cam's friend, it started this restaurant called The Duchess, owned and operated by the people who unrest at Canyon and Santa Monica. It's just a marvelous place.

But hey, let's get back to the show. Hold on, little tease for me. This is why you got to listen to APS. You got to support us over there. This is the second time in 2022. I got to hang out without my wife and go out with some of my boys and do a little day drinking. And boys, boys, boys, boys... boys boys boys boys boys boys

i came home like a drunken sailor i'll tell that tale the wife was not please with you are pissed on shit rosé right sparkly yeah and also i'm gonna get dillin and pat's takes on one of the current hottest internet debates they too how many pots do you give this let's zero well pat really though let's take an earnest crack at this. Oh the entire meal?

Yeah. You can go too. A hundred. Meets back to back. I love that. Just shut up. Dinner is over and Gary is still flirting with an inexhaustible fervor.

Well, Dylan, I don't know if you caught this. This guy is, he's insatiable. Well, this is what his whole life is about. Yeah. You know, when I was a p*****, sorry for giving me beep that Brian, I don't want to sound offensive. Do I have to beep it in the audio? Oh yeah.

My buddy, Mick Richie, said, this is in my younger years, he goes, you know what, Pat, you have no real hobbies. Chasing girls is your hobby. And that shallow. Yeah. Gary's girls is your hobby. And that's shallow. Gary's pat. All right. He says,

sick rep cam, next gonna be you just listen to, I'm not, it's my first hit of the day. Okay. I feel like I'm very boring. Gary polls scholar decide and he says, there's definitely chemistry. Okay.

And I was thinking, the definition of chemistry suddenly change to, I I I I I I I

I I I I I I I I I I I

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I picks easy marks, not easy as in like sex positivity. I mean, easy as in like, like, dumb.

Well, yes, susceptible to his charm. Thank you for saying it. They're fucking seara. I actually, I actually think Scarlett is a little more cunning than we may give her. Like it looks, oh, she's falling for Gary. She came in late. She's super hot. She wants to be on TV. She's probably got an only fans cookin I think she's I think she's playing the game pretty well I think we we've taken liberties with the word cutting sometimes um I'm just gonna agree to disagree she came on and she's uh being duped by Gary. So I'm gonna play the game. Cunning need not be a word you. You can talk tonight. So, uh, we get an incredible dude prank at the end of the night.

I love this. This is fun stuff. Dude, I just love seeing those three fellas. We are of course talking about Marcos, Colin, and Gary sharing a bunk and Marcos knocking on his bedside, making Gary think that Scarlett was at the door and Gary hopping out of bed like the horn ball that he is. But man, I just love seeing this dude slumber party, them just talking about chicks and all the weird stuff.

Fill it up with this stuff, the girls and the guys. And I mean, I know we get that from time to time, but I don't think we get enough of it. No, no, to Bravo. The time to time, but I don't think that we get enough of it. No? No, to Bravo. The camaraderie, or something like that. Yeah, exactly. Especially tonight.

It would have been an awesome time to get a little bit more of that. Perfect. For tonight. Next episode, we'll probably see Gary and Scarlett getting into more trouble. Perhaps they could be using... Dame. Dame. damn my gosh guys, you know, we've had the Dame products for long enough They are beautiful beautiful products beautiful beautiful products. They have the Eva It is the first hands-free vibrator men need not apply just step back and watch the robots take over

need not apply, just step back and watch the robots take over. They also have pH balanced to the vagina lube, which is like crazy stuff. Your partner will be like, wow, this feels incredible because the pH is completely in unison with the interlining of my vulva. So I'm always so bad at these ones. These adries. It's amazing that you do it off the cuff though, don't Is it? I've got this one. It's an easy sell. I don't know how much my girlfriend wants to share about the bedroom

But let's just say she's fucking for game. All right, we had to order more products. I had to run to that website. I was Dame Dash Wow, hey, uh, I think some of our female audience. Hey, why don't you show off how free are sexually? Why don't you make a purchase right and then just post a Facebook? No, no, no, no, no No, god damn it. No Fuck we already got our Facebook or below deck Facebook group dinged in a warn from the zuck because someone said they wanted a punch chef Ryan We can't have women pleasureing themselves. I want to get a spank for sure. You're talking about women posting pictures of them

using dame products inappropriate, not what we want, but also what is the alternative? Smiley pics next to the product like, hey, we're going to use this later. I mean, it was such a bad idea, man. Fuck, man. All right, but you know what a good idea is? Go to DameProducts.com.

Use promo code below deck for 15% off. Go to DameProducts.com and your in promo code for 15% off. So let's get back to the show guys. I mean, what a show it is. Not really. That's just kind of empty words, uh, so that I can, you're filling space. I can navigate my Google drive here. Yeah.

Where are we? We are. I'll tell you exactly where we are. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. We've got more going through the motion shit from below deck. Uh, again, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a clinic uses the guests of being fucked up in the morning.

Whoa, man, that might not go over too well. It was pretty intense. I think he felt some camaraderie that I guess is there with the women the night before, but pretty intense move early on going, you're so drunk, you're crawling on the ground. Look at you. Anyway, you're looking out. You're looking out. You're slitting your throat. That at you. Anyway, he tells you to let your throat

That's what I like to do to women. He tells the girls that There is no wind so we are going to be sending you into the fucking ocean somewhere Alas, they do find a way to get in said water They want to hop in the tandy and head out to the clear blue. And that's when Gary hatches a bit of a plan. Now actually, I couldn't even remember this theory, my thoughts are not.

This little, this little, coup, by Gary, this general ship, by general ship and a thwarting by the Napoleonic character that is Daisy. But it's still, like you said, the general, he's playing chess that's still worked in his favor is her thwarting it and then getting upset. They got to spend time.

Maybe we should break it down. Well, yeah, yeah, it's okay. All right, so Pat break it down. All right, so Gary really wants to flirt with Scarlet all day long. Well, probably sneaking some booze in. So he says, hey, why don't I take Scarlet along to service? Daisy says why the fuck do you need service? It's gonna be you want to skip driving around. They're gonna go swimming

And I don't think there a bunch of fucking drunks. So they're not gonna need a person taking care of drinks for two hours Yeah, she says I'll tell you what though. I'll one up your motherfucker I'm not gonna let you finger bang Scarlet when no one's looking. I will do the drink service The only person getting finger bang like this tender ride is me, Gary. That's what they say. Are they official? Someone posted with their couple. Should we stop using the word finger bang?

No, it's the kids love it. It's just common word. Say it again. The kids love it. It's love it. It's common. I'm gonna finger bang bang you into my life. I'm gonna finger bang bang you ever be night I'm gonna think you're bang bang you ever we night

all right South Park so I thought it was BTS the male PMZ PMS is sexual frustration we get very temperamental and we throw fits like the one that Gary just threw here I don't think you got about the service oh he can't, he finds out that he's not going to be able to rub the inside of Scarlet's leg while they wait for people to snorkel. He gets, that's code for finger-pissed off. So what we will have is Gary and Daisy sitting in a tree, S-E-R-V-I-N-G.

Serving. That works better, right? I've been so bad at those. I really tried to. You know, I asked my wife about this because my wife's pretty snooty. And I said, I don't think they need Daisy to go on this. I think it could just be Gary.

And she's like, no, not if you're trying to be like top notch service, you would have someone out there making cocktails. Yeah. That's why I was so impressed by Gary's move. Like even when Daisy was telling me, you don't need that, he's like, fine, it just thought it'd be easy for the guest.

Just thought it'd be easy for the guest. Thought it was a little bit more neutral. I don't need her, fine, fine. Do you recall genius move, he's not flapable. Yeah, he really is, he's like, it's fine, we don't need to do five star service here, Daisy. Who were other famous generals? Lee.

Napoleon. Napoleon. Hitler. Hitler was pretty, I don't know if he was really a general. McCarthy? Yeah, we got a lot. We got a lot of American one. Swartz off. You're good at this.

You're good at this. You know a lot of generals. Colin Powell. Ulysses S Grant. He said that. No one knew you didn't say that. I haven't said any. All right. So, oh, Mills Mills actually is back at the boat,

shitting on Scarlet and blaming her for her exhaustion. I mean, just what a little creature. So we head back to the boat, but I have before we do, but we already did all of our ads tonight. God, aren't you guys lucky? So Glenn Hatch is a hell of a plan. He says, you see that boat over there? This is when you know this is literally jumping the shark. Let's race this motherfucker. So let's move

on to Scarlett and Ashley talk. Ashley gives Scarlett some pretty good advice here that obviously Scarlett will not listen to. She says, if you want to go ahead and sexually assault a guy who's not even going to remember it, then be my guest. Scarlet said, I'm going to, what are you talking about? Well, also I want to say this, Ashley wants to know what's up with her and Gary and Scarlet says Gary's been really hitting on her hard, which is 100% true. However, she does admit that she is definitely reciprocating if you will. Right. Yep. We're going to cover that I assume on the reunion.

It's kind of like a lie, you know. Okay. So, um, Scarlet falls deeper into this fly trap and is so decmitized that she receives a benefit to merit or so we thought from Daisy when she is caught watching the sunset with gear bear. Hey go full some towels. Yeah Daisy's pretty ordinary right here but not at Scarlet she's pissed at Gary and Scarlet receives the brunt of this venting and here is where I began to get a little concerned about Scarlet.

You know me, I don't like Boy Crazy because I don't think boys are deserving of Boy Crazy. And Scarlet is Boy Crazy here. She's like, where did this come from? Still sounds like a dad of a teenager girl. I don't know, a little bit. I'm just like Scarlet, listen to her. She's telling you everything that's happening.

Maybe you should, I don't know, pay attention to the machinations of the scumbag who's trying to fuck you. But just like a teenage daughter who's being lectured to by her father, both Daisy and Ashley are only driving Scarlet into her arms. Like when Ashley's like, oh, he's a piece of shit, you don't want him. Ashley should have been like, oh, he's a piece of shit, you don't want him. Ashley should have been like, oh yeah,

I think you guys are so cute together. Gary keeps talking about how he sees something long-term with you and he's in love with you. That would have dried her up real quick. And then Daisy's like completely in a tizzy and scarlet's thinking, what's he got in there that's making these women go crazy? Yeah.

Though she has to find out, she has to dive into that filthy cenote to see what is at the bottom. Competition is a natural affidizia. Yeah, it's always fear. And cenote is which I've just recently learned about are immaculate. What are you talking about? Well, in love is blind. No, cenote are going downhill. Um, shitbag shake is a huge fan of them. They're chuggy now. Yeah, if I know about it, it's true. It's now become like trash is flocking.

Right, yeah, exactly. So let's get to dinner and forgive me, I'm not gonna be, there's not a lot of humor here. It's just, we wanna hear what you have to say. Yeah, it's just decent food Okay, so first up we've got the Pog Espacho and a loose it's it's Espacho. It's bacon and eggs on top It's a mousse boost just eat the quail egg. It's fine second We've got Beats and Mangra mango with micro greens and hazelnut to a company of course the Beats and Goat Cheese are a hit.

What are we at the Ivy in 2009? I mean, my God. Hey, can I do a quick meanwhile break it up? Meanwhile, the one that's wearing Woody's hat from Toy Story looks ridiculous. He really wants to fuck Mark up. Yeah, so there's a hell of a theme here with dinner. Not in any of the food. It's really kind of mismatched in all over the place. We've got Macha, we've got Surf and Turp, we've got, I just can't fucking talk to them.

The one that's in the Marcos is like, there's a snake in his pants. I want that snake in his pants. Andy's very homo-ronic. So, next up, we've got Penny Regate, tomatoes, garlic, parsley, you know, senior UCLA. Next up we've got Dover Soul, a marvelous fish.

I've talked about the romanticism of this dish many times. Next up, salmon and Chipotle, a yoli. And here is where it really, really ramps up. The jacuzzi talk, the dick talk, the spicy, spicy stuff. But we've got more food. It's filet and another pepper sauce. And we've also got green bean tempura,

because you go from classic French cooking to PF Chang's appetizers. I mean, what is going on here with this fucking meal? I want to open it all over the map. I want to open up a new, new rap theme steak restaurant and call it hip hop filet. Hey, so yeah, is it up to the chef to set a theme with the dinner guests at the top?

Because it just seemed like, I'm going to throw, I'm going to sling some fucking pasta at ya. Some fucking fish on a plate, some offerings from the appetizer menu of the AppJanks. And you're gonna love it. You know, I gotta be transparent with you here. Okay. I was so distracted by Nick's,

Nick was clenching his fists like Arthur, like that Arthur meme, when he did that filet hip hop thing. Oh no, there's separate things. I've picked my, I've got, oh, well nobody wants to see that. Nobody wants to hear about it. Can we just be cute? But I just have to explain them what he, what do you, hang nails?

I've got hang nails. Oh, okay, this is what I want to hear about that. And so I just press them to like, yeah, kind of. Okay, so moving on, what did you say, Pat? I was just, should I give a name? It should have been a theme to this dinner. Yes, there should be some loose theme, not surrounding sexual advances.

So next up, we've got Wagyu Ribbide. There's the beef. There's the beef. A company buy a little bit more smut, the one in the hat says she wants Marcos to be the dessert. Whoa, spicy. These women's, bro.

Dessert and Corsetine, Lemonsor Bay and Mint. This should come a little bit earlier in the dinner, Marcos. What is going on? And we get a little bit more spice. Meow, oh my God, I don't know what to write anymore. Finally, we've got Majeteer Masu to top off a very confusing knuckleball of the culinary arts. 75 pots, because I mean, like the can-do attitude is such an elevating, it has an elevating

weight to it. We want him to succeed. Yes. Elevating it has an elevating weight to it. We want him to succeed. Yes And he can do you into thinking that he didn't serve a sizzler buffet of But is that like I mean 80 plates like that's isn't it a lot? It's a lot. No, it's the the quantity is the difficulty. Yeah, it was so oh The quantity is the difficulty. Yeah. It was so, oh, go ahead. Just when people get three Michelin stars

because the quantity is met with the quality. Three Michelin, oh, the quality is met with the time. Yeah, when you go to three Michelin, so they crush you with 20 courses, but how many courses did Kiko get? I mean, they almost like. Kiko? That the first one, they were like,

are they Vegas night? No, no, no, no, no, he didn't, he pulled off this multi-course meal and everybody's like, wow, this guy's great. And then he served Mokikas 75 more times a giant fudge dominant. Well, if you remember, I'm doing my progression.

Was a Vegas night. That was part of the Vegas night. Pride fish. I love, dude, everybody likes to party on the strips. Everybody likes to party on the strip, go clubbing in Vegas. I like to just go sit down.

I can be by myself, find a nice dealer and play some dominoes to all the wee hours of the morning. Yeah, I love how ubiquitous dominoes is on the floors of so many hotels in Las Vegas. You're kidding, right? Yes. OK. Yeah, I mean, my favorite thing about that Vegas

night was Hannah's, um, absolving herself of guilt. She's like, she's been a Vegas three times when she was 19 22 and 23. And he's like, what are they eating? Vegas? She's like chicken tender, white castle mac and cheese. And they're black. So you should throw up some domino brownies. I love when Captain fake Captain Time Sheriff Sandy walked over to Kika. Why did you do this? And it's like I have no fucking idea. Okay, so Gary, he comes in with a little apology to Daisy and a little sexual tension to but

Sure enough scarlet views this as competition pulling ahead of her. I am not liking this boy crazy But we rise for The next day and a little race Breakfast is skipped and bloody marries are served just in time for them to shatter all over the fucking teak But we're gonna find out who wins the anti-climactic race next week. Oh you're talking about the barn Pull it around the barn. We get to a little race that you're talking about the regatta I thought someone said the n-word so jump the iTunes race reviews on a stuff five stars and do it Come on Come on do it. Come on, come on.

Do it. Go to patreon.com. So I should have podcast network for ad free shows, PMZ, APS, housewives. We are putting out more content than any Patreon in the history of this wonderful company is ever done. It's fucking crazy. Join us on July 13th at the Irvine Improv with Kate Casey and even more special guests. We'll see you next week. I'm Dylan With lucky land slots, you can get lucky just about anywhere.

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