Kill James Bond! - She Head Butt the Entire Door | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S3 E8

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

The boys are all back together to break down who makes more, a vegan or CEO, seeing your sister in all of your enemies, head butting every part of a door, sea rat clairvoyance, different types of drunks and even more of Bravo's Below Deck Sailing Yacht. We will have less ads next episode and in all episodes moving forward. Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Down Under, Below Deck Sailing Yacht seasons 1 & 2 AND Love is Blind Season 2.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetworkVideo of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw?sub_confirmation=1Merch: AnotherMerchStore.comGo to MagicMind.co and use promo code GLENN for 25% OFF

I want to say this about Gabby because she came in studio and we were actually talking about drinking. She's a drinker, but I think she's more like Nick as opposed to me. Nick is where you drink a lot of alcohol when you're allowed to binge drink. Here's how I delineate. There's alcoholics and then there's problem drinkers. I don't need it to function in the morning. I don't even drink alone. But if I tie one on, I'm going to ruin everybody's night.

You do. As opposed to me, if I don't drink, my legs shake. Yeah. Totally different. Yeah. Cool. So next day. Welcome aboard!

Another brand-spanking-new episode of another Below Deck Sailing, your podcast. My name is Dylan. I am back from Argentina and saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys! Papyrus, the podcast is over there behind my glasses. How is everybody? I'm so happy to have Dilly back in the studio.

Yeah, I'm really happy. Feels like the band's back together. Oh, yeah, yeah. Great vibes. I am happy to be here, although I'm not sure what time it is. Got off of, I don't know, I think a 15-hour day of travel this morning. We had a couple stopovers, did you? Yeah.

So, um, we got a lot of PSAs to get out of the way, including some, some talk about the, the flights. Um, the good news is PSAs about flight.

Yeah. Let me, he's already losing it. He's really tired. I'm so tired. This is below deck sailing. Yeah. I think I'm on an irresponsible amount of Adderall to kind of try and compensate for it,

but we'll see how this goes. Regular old simple Chuck over here. I say, yeah, Brian, cut in on me grooming myself. I say PSA is about the flight because I will break down the entire Argentina trip. Pat went to a wedding. Good tease. Great producing.

Great producing, dude. They got gotta know that we have another show where we just uh talk about random shit random called another podcast show and it's free go over and listen to it you idiots yeah it's free it's lucy goosey it's gabby and goofy and there's a segment on there called Dilly Daddling. That's not it. Yeah, that's it. Dilly Dallying. You said daddling. Sorry. It's all the Adderall. But that's a segment where I take down criminal enterprises. Boys, I have another one in my crosshairs.

I've taken down Postmates. I've taken down In-N-Out Builders. I've taken down Clement from Jamaica. And these chickens. And now I've got american airlines and some may say oh that's too big a sauron for you to take down but my god will i chip away at it for the next five years our our david getting preparing for battle i can't wait to see how this unfolds and customs at miami international we'll break down the entire thing on another part i'm

gonna tag you buddy i gotta also. I got also an update. I gave a winery called Fess Parker up in Sanyas Valley three stars Yelp review. They reached out. I'll give an update on what transpired on Fess Parker reaching out to my Yelp review. And, I mean, we have range because on a recent APS, I gave some notable MMA stars who crossed over to the silver screen, including one who then eventually committed gang rape. So PSA number two, big shout out to probably the greatest fan in recent memory. That's Sandra, our archivist. We received an email today that was really heartwarming.

She'd broken down everything we'd ever done, every knot, every pot, every roses, rings, whatever we do. And we just want to give a heartfelt thank you to Sandra, the archivist. Thank you very much. Yeah, we did get it today. It's a beautiful Excel spreadsheet. A glossary of our terms? I mean, my God, this woman. I wanted a glossary of our terms since our very first season where we broke down Nick Viola as the Bachelor.

And our lexicon has just continued to expand. And Gladys wasn't pulling her weight. I don't know what that woman's problem is. But Sandra has stepped up, and we thank you. And we got to figure out a gift to give her. I wish we had merch. Show yourself in the Facebook, Sandra. Let the world see you.

Show yourself to the world. Yes, she has created our, what's the Lord of the Rings thing? The Cimmerillium or whatever it's called. Yeah, that's for another podcast show. Nerds. Bless me. PSA3. You guys did a show by yourself.

Some people really liked you two just on your own. And flocked to the Facebook to let everyone know. Now, we have two different kinds of fans. We have fans that pay us and we have fans that don't. Now, the moral of this story is to not be the kind of gross, yucky cheapos who have pickled herring teeth that just shit on us and don't pay us, okay? Hallie Whittle, loveittle love you girl you took a shot at me that old bag of franzia but it doesn't matter because she pays us so go to patreon.com

slash another podcast network not only can you openly shit on us there and we won't care because you're paying but there's a lot of great content there too there's amazing content and dylan just to bookend this to be fair to you i announced to the audience before we even started the podcast without you that no one needed to say anything about you missing and that i wouldn't even uh pay attention to it if they in fact posted it so no one posted that they missed you but that was really at my hands dylan it wasn't that the audience didn't miss you. Okay? I feel all better now. Let's get into the episode. I can't believe Robert Brown doesn't pay us.

I can't believe. It's unbelievable. I sent that dummy a link to the free Patreon. He didn't even open it. I have realized. Oh, wow. Yeah. I have realized Robert Brown is not a fan of us. No.

He is a fan of Below Deck, and we cover Below Deck. Yeah, I love his posts so much. All right, so speaking of covering Below Deck, let's jump into it. First and foremost, Thoughts and Pots. Pat, why don't you take it away? All right, let me tell you something about this episode, okay? Not a lot happened, but what did happen, I would say triggered me because the entire episode was the aftermath of a night of drinking and doing bad things and all the regret and guilt that comes with it. In fact, one particular instance was I was thinking when I woke up one morning and I was like, I don't think I should be drinking anymore.

Yeah, it was after my 30th birthday party. Personal story? Well, not really. It's just that alcohol didn't touch my tongue for a solid two years. That was a real bum out. So this episode was a real bum out. Real bum out. Really. How many pots? Zero. I agree with some of these things. It brings me back. It hit a little close to home.

I, too, Patrick, have experienced the morning after drinker's remorse where you question what you may have done. And even sometimes the worst part is when you haven't done anything, you're like, why did I have this pit in my stomach? Also, another thing that was, I'll take your word, triggering, was, I mean, we've oftentimes seen these C-Rap breakdowns, meltdowns. They cry. They want to go home.

It's often funny. We laugh. We poke fun. But in this particular episode, it happened to someone who we've come to know intimately, who's been in this studio, who we've talked to multiple times, and it was sad to see the c rep breakdown but i'm gonna be just as biting and as hilarious as ever despite my personal connection with gabrielle yeah we have to be impartial oh pots 88 pots it was a really

solid episode of below that you think so yeah i thought it was a solid episode too um i love uh taika watiti oh no that's from Below Deck Down Under. That will happen. Yeah, it's a lot of shows, dude. That's Below Deck Down Under, which you can get at patreon.com slash another podcast. That one's starting to get fun. Oh, my gosh, yeah. So, this one, again,

with Nick, how many did you give it? 88. 88. So, the reason why I'm struggling right now a little bit, could you guys just give me a quick rundown on what happened last week? Because I didn't really want to. Tom got fired. Yeah, it was a long swan song for Tom being gone, gone. Got it, got it.

And then this thing with Gabby and Marcos. Oh, that was a very small mess up where she was like, oh, they're drinking wine. They're going to be seated in five minutes. Marcos kind of ignored it. He was in his head. He was putting out a lot of seafood. And they now landed on that. She should say fire and not just chat it up.

He's a little perturbed with Gabby. But I think there's honestly some nights out, some arguing that we're not seeing. It's making it similar. Yeah, they're irritated with each other. All right. some arguing that we're not seeing. It's making it similar. Yeah, they're irritated with each other. All right.

Well, I know it's early, but if you're having trouble with your drinking or your social relationships, we've got a sponsor that can really, really help you. It's BetterHelp, guys. It's BetterHelp. Pat, when the oxygen levels get low on an airplane, what do you do?

Do you put your mask on your child, or do you take care of yourself first? Come on, buddy. Of course you put it on yourself. You're no help to your child if you're fucking knocked out in the sleep. Yeah, 100%. You got to put it on first. And Nick, did you know that you can have physiological reactions to stress and nerves like needing to shit at 830 at night?

Yeah, it's called party pooping. So guys, if any of that stuff is going on. BetterHelp can help him out with that. Nick, I'll sign you up, dude. No, how much is it? I'll get him a session. It's not an issue anymore. We got this porta potty.

Pat walked past as I was watching the ultimatum in there taking a shit. I'm like, who's listening to the radio in the porta potty? That's going to be great on summer Fridays. But anyways, go to betterhelp.com slash below deck. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P slash below deck. Dot com slash below deck. Excuse me, Adderall. Don't take it.

Go see a therapist. And don't ask them to give it to you, okay? Really do some work on yourself. You can do that with BetterHelp, a sponsor of this show. Our listeners will get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash below. Hey, I wonder if they have one of those things. Why don't the audience,

maybe they can pay for some sessions for some of these sea rats and we can reach out to them and go, hey, I got a BetterHelp session that one of our listeners paid for. I love that idea. Crowdfunding therapy for the sea rats. Yeah. Won't be that good

of a show we need these problems to continue to fester and then ultimately rip their lives apart but um and i will say if you like that ad read this is the episode for you okay so um daisy and gary sitting in a tree um trying to stab each other y-e-l-I-N-G. Yeah, that's much better. This is how dumb this is. And these people, they might want to reconsider nights out and drinking and such. Well, but they can't.

I know. I know. Sorry. I know. This fight is over two cups of coffee being made in the morning. That's the entire cause of this fight. Tempers are flaring.

But the real underlying cause is, of course, Gary trying to start up some sexual tension, which he will later then take advantage of. Yeah, we're going to get to his kind of incubus powers a little bit later on. It's very confusing. So, Seadog

goes up to stir some shit up, and we get to breakfast. Do you guys have anything on the Seadog stirring shit up? Not really. Just, Colin, this is beneath you, and I know he probably listens, but behind your back, a couple castmates have told us privately that you are the laziest person on that boat. Yeah, but, you know, it's like struggling to find an analog, but like when you need an analog but like when you need a neurosurgeon you need a neurosurgeon you know and it's also looking like the seer ad who told us that in confidence is about to leave this boat for mental health problems so maybe we have to take what she

has with it or he with the greatest yeah i don't know if she told us all right oh yeah yeah so gabby and marcos have a lot of tension going on. You can feel it. But that does not prevent him from putting out an unbelievable spread, avocado toast, grapefruit, and jalapenos, in addition to what he had already made, egg muffins with spinach and goat cheese. You know, there's a chef on Below Deck Down Under called Pizza Rat. He can go fuck himself. This is how you do breakfast, okay?

Yeah, these people don't strike me as avocado toast people. They don't have beards or wear John Deere trucker hats. I don't know. Oh, okay. It's so funny to the different kind of view. How he paints a hipster. Yes. Like there was that meme where you put american spirits pbr and neon sunglasses in a

bear trap like growing up in los angeles that's not a hipster hipsters wear overalls and leather shoes that are really expensive that they got from their dads you will completely different you will order a whiskey and a pbr though it's yeah oh yeah if I'm trying to get there quick, whiskey and a cold one. So that being said, I know it's become a hipster millennial type thing and it's the reason millennials can't afford homes. But Pat, have you had it? It's delicious. Oh yeah.

I've had it many times. Yeah. I don't really like it. Mine I think had fucking sprouts on it. Sprouts should be banned from the planet Earth. Some weird textures will fuck it up for me i love a sprout i love a nice sprout little hummus sprout whole wheat tomato okay so the deck crew is now being um runned or you know helped along by these stewardesses uh sixty thousand dollars a

day uh the weird one gets yanked out of bed so that they can successfully dock and successfully dock. They do not. Am I going too fast? Oh, no. But they do do it with care with those ginormous fenders because they don't want to blow that amazing paint job on the rear of the boat. Yeah. Remember that thing? Yeah, I do.

There was a Croatian gypsy with a can of spray paint that fixed that thing right up. So Ashley is calling out distances in feet, and she's way off even with that unit of measurement. We've got the sea dog and Gary getting snippy with one another, all to just get these charter guests the fuck off. Ashley should have, just to save face a little bit, tried yelling it in uh meters because then if she's wrong she has an excuse but 400 meters but no excuse when you're uh american and 75 i do have to say this as someone who's uh kind of blue collar and works with his hands gary should have known that those ropes weren't long enough i don't know maybe a new pair of fucking glasses yeah it needs to do an ocular pat down on that kind of thing. Jesus, fucking Christ.

Can I say, Pat and I had great shows, but I feel so whole with all of us back. You feel at home right now? Yeah, this is nice. Nick accused me during the last show of not listening to him when he talks. You should... Yeah, that happened.

I love that PMZ, though, editing it back. It was a great time. Go to patreon.com. I've said it five times, but it's great. Jojo Siwa. Oh, my God. a great time go to patreon.com i said it five times jojo siwa oh my god i haven't listened to that but i love that you talked about jojo siwa and my thumb is on the award show my thumb is on the pulse of pop culture i recorded that show on friday the news dropped on saturday all of a sudden she's trending. They used one of her songs at the Teen Choice

Awards and didn't even invite her. And I think she's a lesbian now. Who started saying that Will Smith was unraveling six months ago? And I did three shows on his idiot ass. To be fair, you and 150,000 other people. But you were ahead of it. I went really anonymous. Yes, you

did. So go to patreon.com. That's another podcast network. There's a lot of stuff at patreon there's a ton of uh those what so the guys uh or the charter guests seemed like sweethearts to me i don't know was it a boring charter because they were so boring but they're just it's so nice like you got to have that every once in a while you can't just have simple chucks and erica roses walking around on the boat it gives me anxiety yeah it's nice to have just nice normal people go there and these people thought they were like fun drinkers would say some wacky stuff but they just were too boring to get any screen time they thought they were fun but nope they're just running the mill and the real the real drama was below deck yeah i think that bravo might want to

do a little uh little cross promo maybe get like floribama shore on the boat or something like that you know how have we not seen that i would love to see the people from summer house fucking next to the people from below deck fucking they've done stuff like that they had the real housewives on and stuff get summer house on this boat sierra is absolutely losing it over austin and i'm honestly tired of it i'm tired of it it's wild that you watch reality tv that you don't monetize summer house is the only reality tv show that i watch just out of love so guys before we move on we have to take a quick break to talk about an incredible sponsor nick manscaped manscaped is an unbelievable suite of products it's not just um the lawnmower pat almost just ripped the

recording session out from under us um and i almost just kicked my laptop there's a lot going on what is happening we're so jacked up about i have the cleanest bush ever and i want to tell you guys about it it's all thanks to manscaped yeah um it's tricky to shave down there whether you have um uh scrotum whether you have labia minora or majora, things can be tough to clean down there. Not with Manscaped. You can get the Lawn Mower 4.0 at manscaped.com. Hit them with it, Pat. Nick, did you **** on this thing? What is this?

Look at this, Dylan. Could you not say ****? I'm sorry I took your mic, but I can guarantee you I did not **** on your razor that has been in your garage. So many bleeps. It's just, God, just don't say that word. Listen to the sound of that. It lulls the hair to sleep so that it can rip it out of your fucking body.

Yeah, and also, not only do they have the Lawn Mower 4.0, I, before I came, can you please cut it? Oh, sure, sure. Washed my hair with the shampoo and conditioner in one i'd been in argentina for a week hadn't washed my hair needed to get back take a hot shower with uh one of the many products that manscaped has to offer i feel like a million bucks you know what's crazy how many shampoos you use uh recently because i know you've been using some way as well hey dylan can i give a personal testimony of Of course. Okay, also –

Just make sure it's like 25 seconds. Sure, okay. I've mentioned on this podcast before that one of the upsides of this is you shave down your pubic hair, you get two inches. Yeah. Right? On your penis length. Yeah, and you wouldn't even know it.

It just appears there one day because you shave down there. Then also you shave yourself clean. Do the chest. Maybe you don't have to do your armpits do your legs stare in the mirror it's gonna make you horny to have sex with your wife okay so go to manscape.com that sounds like some american psycho type shit you gotta talk to better help jesus christ don't yeah manscape.com go to manscape.com enter in promo code below deckOWDECK. Get 20% off and free shipping. With the code BELOWDECK, that's 20% off and free shipping. I think we've hit everything. So moving on to BELOWDECK.

Let's get to the tip meeting. Pat's like, every time I think about a woman, I do 100 push-ups. I can do 1,000 a day now. Okay. So. Compare me to Patrick Bateman? Yeah. I thought these charter guests sounded lovely. They. So. Compare me to Patrick Bateman. Yeah. I thought these charter guests sounded lovely.

They looked lovely. But only the tip will tell, Pat. Well, they did it. 21K. And so that's 2530 each. That's quite a haul. And because Tom did work one of the days, I guess they're going to break off some cabbage for him, too. That's really nice.

It's very sweet i love think about this uh captain glenn being the best captain easily when riley showed up on a charter two days late and didn't get fired she got zero portion of the tip tom gets fired right and he's there one day, and he gets a little bit. Well, he almost killed everybody. That's Captain Lee for you. I know. So he should have gotten nothing. Well, Riley was just hired, just brought on, did good work, got nothing. Yeah, and Tom almost killed everybody.

Yeah. So he should have gotten nothing. Almost killed the entire boat. Champagne is poured. The tip money is distributed. And we move on to Gabby and Marcos. Anything here? Again, I'm very confused by where this sudden hatred has come from.

Are we at dinner? No. No, it's like right after the tip meeting, I think. Well, then the interior meets up. And I guess the word fire wasn't used. So we need to mine that over again. That's right. Thank you.

That's great. And then Gary, Dutch cabins, Colin's cabin. And I guess this will lead to the girls arguing over who will massage his rotten rectum. Yeah, it's chemical warfare. And he unleashes it inside the bunk. Now, here is where we kind of, I don't know. We got to break down this Gary being such a Lothario. I feel like we need Attenborough for this kind of thing because he's opening his asshole and his mouth and shitting his pants in the bunks, heading upstairs. And these girls are just fawning over this guy.

I understand that it's the confidence and but I'm in the slim pickings, you know. Yeah. But my God, it's just fascinating. I mean, it's the confidence, the slim pickings, but also, I mean, the man is Gary Kasparov. The chess moves he's making, I actually, and he's improved from season to season, because last year, he fucked Sydney immediately. Florida Sea Rat. Yeah. he's improved from season to season because last year he fucked sydney immediately florida sea yeah and i told him that was a sad sad sad thing so he missed up there this season he's playing all the right rungs he's like a rock climber seeing where his next hold is alex honnold yes

yeah that kind of bravery same kind of bravery that gary has so i'm not miffed by it at all. I'm actually more in awe of his strategy. It's like he read Pat's book. He probably did, despite it not being in publication because of the jammed pipeline at Penguin Random House. How do you think we got into Bravo PR? He was like, I will give all sea rats a copy of my book. It will make your show better. Andy Cohen wants to uh uh publish it

uh before we move on i want to say this yeah colin as they're fighting over like fart gate or whatever the girls are apparently turned on by this colin proposes they just both fuck them yeah c-dog not an hr office as far as the eye can see no man maritime law is so funky it's crazy how close alex handhold's name is the handhold okay so um anything on the cab rides or can we just get straight to dinner let's get to dinner um all right so buckets of wine are ordered sea rats and gabby and marcos are still at each other's throats now i feel as though in this moment it's a little one-sided marcos Now, I feel as though in this moment it's a little one-sided. Marcos, yeah.

This is the first time it came out. Earlier, it wasn't like after the tip meeting, it wasn't Marcos and Gabby. It was the interior meeting where Gabby kind of tells Daisy what was happening. This is the first time we see it bubble up again since in the galley. Well, I felt like, you know, Marcos being the consummate ex-mercenary, now culinary professional, you know, just wants to keep that bar where they're at and raise it, you know, a little bit by a little bit as the season goes on. And Gabby is just so snooty. She's just so pissed at him, folding her arms, staring at him, saying it's all about you. It's all about you.

Gabby, take a breath well she i think she had a couple and i think she uh takes her professionalism very seriously in her craft so when it gets judged i think it hurts her deeply and she probably uh this is how it comes out with gabby she doesn't know how to deal with her feelings and her emotions and she's also very like i don don't know, she does see people. Like, I don't think this is totally far-fetched that Marcos, he's a passionate, passionate man. He's like Inigo Montoya. When he starts talking about past loves and all the loves he had. Who killed his dad.

Yeah, I could see how, like, maybe he's talking over Kelsey a little bit, and Gabby found that little tiny opening crack in his armor to then be like, no, you're a piece of shit, too. And he's like, I'm just regaling you with stories. I've I've lived a life. You want to listen to me, but it can be overbearing. Well, and I would also say that the worst part about this entire thing is that while Gabby and Marcos were fighting, we lost an opportunity to learn more about the weird one. Oh, that's right.

You know, it's they're bickering. And all I want to do is get to know the weird one. Well, I'll tell you this. She has never been in love, Dylan. And, you know, one other piece of information that we kind of- Gleaned. Gleaned over. Gabby announces to the table-

Missed. Glossed over. Yeah. Gabby announced to the table that she wishes she could suck dick better. And when she said that she was miming with each one of her hands with a dick in each one. Yeah. That doesn't sound like a C-Rat at all to me. Yeah, and then so continuing with the super lockdown HR,

Gary overhears that and says, well, you can practice on me. Well, he's sharp, Dylan. He should do a podcast. Unbelievable that this man is so fond of her. What the hell does Gary have in his pants that she could practice this on him? That's weird as all. That's a sickness. But I like where Gabby's head's at because it's like basketball.

If you want to get better at ball handling, two balls at one time. You alternate. You go at the same time. You cross over. Okay, so the weird one does say, I think it was the weird one that said, you can't have a good view without a good meal, which is just a sentiment I vehemently disagree with. You know, I'm sure the top of Everest is beautiful,

but you're not taking out your oxygen to have an apple and brie panini. You know, it's just not practical. But the view is spectacular, I bet. I could definitely see that improving it, though. Just a nice granola bar. Maybe I shouldn't be so caught up on it. Anyways. Oh, also, with the Marcos and Kelsey, there's a love connection brewing that I have missed.

A number of our Facebook baby barnacles have pointed out how they're really cozying up in hot tubs during scenes up to the side in this moment i think uh gabby cock blocked a little bit they're talking about their past loves they are really about to get intimate oh that's right that's right yeah yeah there does seem to be a little smut building up between those two but also it's because kelsey is probably like in awe of like the life that marcos has lived and marcos seems like he will fuck anything he's said it before he's probably someone on production yeah okay guys well you know what what'd you think about the dinner did you think that the food looked good you tell us dylan how should we know did you think it looked as good as some of the meals you can cook with Green Chef. Oh, nice.

What is Green Chef? Green Chef is a CCOF certified meal kit company. Green Chef's keto and paleo options give you the premium proteins and vital veggies you need to conquer your day. Green Chef's pre-made and pre-measured sauces dressings and spices get you more chef curated flavor in less time enjoy your greens while being green green chef is the most sustainable meal cat in the world offsetting 100 of the plastic in every box and 100 of their carbon footprint green chef offers 24 always-changing recipes to choose from every week so you never get bored.

Guys, they would like us to share a personal experience, and a personal experience we do have from our fans. Now, because we have 64 ad reads in this episode, I'm sad to say I'm going to go quick with this. But we do have meal offerings from Kira Major and Modena. Kira made... You going to be mean to her, Dylan? No, no, no.

I'm not going to be mean. She made barramundi with chimichurri, the condimento of Buenos Aires, carrots and couscous. It's a delicious looking plate. The fish looks as though it's kind of got a Dover sole kind of quality. The lemon is cut perfectly. The carrots are roasted.

The couscous looks plump and lovely. We also had a submission from Moe D who made chicken piccata, a lovely roast potato, and grilled asparagus made steak for the hubby, I think, or possibly for her. Now, these meals both look delicious, but it's 2022. We don't need to plate like we are in the 1950s anymore. You know, we've gone past Julia Child. Okay. We've gone past molecular gastronomy. Now, we don't need to do that. You know, we don't need to wildly deframe this thing, but let's not just

pile things onto a plate. You know, let's not pretend like we've got four quadrants and we're going to fill them up to the sky and serve them to our loved ones. Okay. Let's get creative out there. And you can do that with Green Chef by going to greenchef.com slash below deck 130. Use promo code below deck 130 to get $130 off plus free shipping. Again, that's greenchef.com slash below deck 130. I'd just like to touch on this Marcos Gabby stuff. At some point, it just turns into drunk arguing,

which is now you're both just saying dumb stuff to each other and then it just keeps going and going and there's really no end unless someone does walk away which gabby does because i think she had to take a shit yeah um or take a breath no but i think she said she wanted to go home because she had to take a shit oh she said she had to poop and i would say i do believe there's bathrooms in spate now that i've heard of so let's get back in the vans however upset gabby is she still is seeing things rather clearly almost with a degree of clairvoyance um someone's asking what's going on in the other van and gabby says they're probably juggling ashley's tits right now cut to gary in the backseat of the van doing just that. It's unbelievable.

Now, I didn't think that part. I wasn't like, oh. She's a psychic. It's Professor X. I wasn't thinking anything weird at this point. That's a very likely scenario. Whoever added that they were beatboxing while doing it, now that is the person whose powers we must harness for good. And don't show those on reality television

because the CIA or whatever will hunt you down immediately. You'll be in a lab in no time. That was always my worry. If I had superpowers, I was like, you can't tell anyone. The government will kidnap you. You'll be a lab rat, not a sea rat. So, the weird one and Gary hit the sheets. All I could think was, boo.

You know, we want to be one with the weird one. We want to see the weird one out a little bit more, and we definitely need Gary. He is the match that strikes the wick of the ball of snakes. But fortunately for us, he is some strange kind of leather-skinned Lothario. He doesn't even need to be awake for girls to try to have sex with him. It's

unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Gabby hops in his bed and this sets off a little conflict. I don't want to say World War 3, but it's a little conflict. Well, a lot of conflict from a lot of different angles. I believe at some point Marcos is the first

victim of her ire. He walks in and says, hey, what's going on here? She said, hey, why don't you go fuck yourself he's like this is my room yeah she goes i get lost asshole and by the way wake me up at 6 30 well he also tells her to fuck off at some point i mean things are really heating up um and the other person this pisses off is drum roll please ashley uh she says gabby is a snake no No, she is not. She's a sea rat. And Ashley also says that she's not going to let this get to her. And that is when she begins to scream at everyone and delivers the ironic line, Gabby is going to make a fool of herself. Cut to one of the most brutal top bunk falls I've ever seen.

I'm surprised her head didn't lacerate on that door handle. Yeah. That was crazy. I could have watched that five more times. Same. Schadenfreude. And also, Daisy, I believe, who was it we saw get in trouble after the guy who got the big bruise, David,

he fell. Malia. Malia got in trouble for not doing a incident report. But we know that Sandy had it out for her because she secretly had a crush on her and Malia didn't reciprocate. Hey, hey. I don't know.

Malia's got a little secret. Okay. Point is, Daisy should have reported that. Well, famously, I took a hard fall to try and wake up my snoring drunk roommate in New Orleans shattered his laptop almost dislocated my elbow

but I didn't drag my face down a deadbolt and slam my temple on a door handle Johnny Knoxville eat your heart out this girl can take a fucking beating thank god our heads made of rocks okay so next day hold on hold on hold on hold on

a couple other things here daisy and i've never seen this happen before where the uh uh the chief stew yells and orders everybody to go to bed i don't remember that ever happening like a den mother i didn't know she had the authority to do that authority authority yeah but she did um so moving on to the next day but before we get there oh no you know what let's space it out a little bit let's do a little bit more below deck not every five minutes well we're just getting to the end of the episode we've got 65 ads tonight let's do the other two back to back all right so at well one's a pre-roll so we got to re-record it after we're done recording this episode oh i'm casting i thought he meant pre-roll, so we've got to re-record it after we're done recording this episode. Podcasting.

I thought he meant pre-roll. We do it in the first 10 minutes. I really don't want to open up the show with it. I also want to talk to him about the programmatic ads. I don't want other people's voices besides ours being the first thing people hear. Understood. Understood. Let's have a production meeting after the show. Yeah, production meeting.

I keep forgetting to mention that. Ashley has trust issues. Well, yeah. Her sister was a whore and my shaming man um more of the same here any thoughts i want to talk to ashley sister i would like to know if she is that too much diving in these people's lives if we reached out and all of it is all of it is i don't care about anything so did you really fuck your sister's friends that would be the only question we need and then we thanks for your time nick dm let's get around the show yeah i have a feeling that that would unleash a torrent of story

uh okay so uh i need a meanwhile here the weird one gets a toe cramp. Gabby and Ashley have an I'm sorry off. Gabby is mortified about being late one time. And Marcos has left a morcisha in the sink. Yuck. Very good, meanwhile. Now, I will add one thing to this. Thank you. Gary in the morning gives us the number one rule of recapping the follies of the night before.

Always be blackout drunk. Nothing happened. Well, because you don't remember it. Yeah, well, you know, I want to approach this from a different angle and that being Ashley's POV. You know, this is a tried and true strategy for Ashley. If you don't remember it happening, it didn't happen. But this is now getting into kind of

inception territory where she's extending this out to the people that she wants to fuck um it's truly it's truly a fascinating strategy is she on the third level dylan yeah she just has so much patience it's incredible her and nolan's ability to keep track of their different timelines is always it's really the key to their films yeah it's fascinating that fucking van and when i'm Her and Nolan's ability to keep track of their different timelines is always... It's really the key to their films. Yeah, it's fascinating. That fucking van. And when I'm talking about Ashley's films, I'm, of course, talking about the content.

You can get it at onlyfans.com slash eating underscore ash. Oh, who did it for us? Who was that brave soul? Oh, did I not read this on? No. Oh, my gosh. All right, while you're getting that, let's take a quick break to talk about Athletic Greens, guys. Our next partner has a product that I use literally every day.

I started taking Athletic Greens because it just wasn't fibrous enough. The movements weren't healthy. I was like, something's got to get sorted. I'm feeling crummy in the morning. Pat, why did you start taking Athletic Greens? Well, I just wanted to be more alert in the morning. It takes two seconds. You just heat up a little bit of water.

You throw a little packet in there. I think they come in packets of 30 in a box, which covers you for the entire month. Or you can get a big bag with a big scoop. You just feel better. You feel better, and it doesn't need to be hot water. But if that's your route, take it. What is this stuff? We'll tell you.

It's one delicious scoop uh of 75 high quality vitamins minerals whole foods source superfoods probiotics and adaptogens those are little beautiful things that work with you in the daytime and with you in the nighttime um we we talked about it but just take ag1 athletic greens morning. It'll make you feel better. How would you describe the taste, Pat? Outside of delicious. It tastes like you're eating candy or something like that, but with no sugar. No sugar.

Hey, Dylan, personal testimony. Yeah. The power of this stuff. And it doesn't say it on the packets, but maybe it's a side effect. Yeah. I got in a road rage incident with someone. I wasn't yelling at anybody, but a woman cut me off and she rolled down her window to say something to me

and I said, drive better. And I think she could see the athletic greens power, superpowers coming out of my eyes. She said, I'm sorry, I will. And then she just drove off. It's lifestyle friendly, whether you eat keto, paleo, vegan, dairy-free or gluten-free.

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So, to make it easy, Athletic Greens is gonna give you a free one-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and five free travel facts with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash below deck. Again, that is athleticgreens.com slash below deck to take ownership over your health. Oh, and you actually get travel packs, but here's a travel fact. Kangaroos can't jump backwards.

And here's a travel fact. I brought Athletic Greens with me on the plane. Felt regulated in Argentina. Nice. One last note. If you buy this and you take a glass of this stuff, do a video of what superpowers it gives it to you, and we'll review them on our show.

Yeah, we'll break it down. Looks like Dum Dum over here read the copy wrong, and we don't even need to stick this wonderful company at the top of the show. I'm actually really excited about this sponsor. It is a wonderful, wonderful company called StoryWorth. Guys, I thought I knew my mother, Suzy Q from Queens, better than anyone. One day we were chatting, and I heard a story I've never heard before and that got me wondering, how many other stories don't I know?

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StoryWorth.com slash below deck to save 10% off your first purchase. StoryWorth.com slash below deck. So who sent us the stuff about the porn? Oh, read it. It's pretty good. Our Patreoner over at patreon.com slash another podcast network sent us this. Patreoner, patron. You can call them whatever. We call them everything.

I call them heroes. Patreoner is what like a six-year-old person would call it if they had a Patreon. Our patron, Charles Snow, I put out a catacall last week. I said if any of our listeners are creeps, I mean supporters of Ashley, then we want to know what she's putting out there, whether it's worth it to subscribe for $14.99, which is three times as much as we charge at patreon.com slash another podcast network yeah uh and again i didn't want

to share her paywall content we're not trying to steal no uh we just want to know if it's worth it and so we got an honest review essentially a yelp review from charles snow yeah i think honestly he would give it zero stars if he could he didn't say that he said ashley's only fans well boys i did it i subscribed to her only fans 12 50 is a little steep for what you get we see more on below deck when she's crawling into bed of course she wants you to pay for pay extra for more content there's better only fans i've subscribed for free to I subscribed for free to one where I watched a girl rip a bong out of another girl's asshole for free

thanks for the laugh guys just thought I'd report back and Charles Snow thank you for your service thank you Charles Snow that is unbelievably send me a link to that bong I hit out of an asshole so what Charles did is really giving and what those young ladies did is very, very giving. So thank you, all three of you.

Charles, and I don't even know who else out there is even doing it. There's other former Sea Rats who have them. I'm sure there are. Or former members of Bachelor Nation, but we would love your reviews and to do more reconnaissance on anybody in our world. And maybe love his line characters. I'll fucking Venmo you.

I bet Dak and Dave's dick is on OnlyFans. All right, so Gary tells the sea dog that he wasn't even flirting that bad the night before. Rewind noise. You want to practice sucking my dick? Maybe that wasn't flirting and more being overtly sexually aggressive. Flirting is a little bit cuter, but I beg to differ, Gary. You were laying it on pretty thick. Thanks for putting me on the spot like that.

I didn't even know I had a rewind noise in the holster. I knew you had it. I knew you had it. I knew you had it. So, amazing amount of patience from Ashley. Like we said, we have to get to a very important part of this show. That is the one and only... PrepFriendShape Manning! I come here and I'm going to be honest with you guys. I tried.

I had time today. I was going to dig in, get further. Yeah. But not my best preference sheet meeting. First of all, I have a bone to pick with YouTube TV. This is a tactic. No. Lowering expectations to jump over them.

I wish. I wish. But I will one gripe. YouTube TV, update on the software. There's no more screen recording, and there's no more screenshots. You just get a black screen. It's really going to be be huge issue for us going forward

fuck off google peacock 2 all any any subscription streaming sites you can't screen record a screenshot now which is making my preference sheets harder okay but i did pause at the right spot i just say that's more for you guys it's really annoying that is it's a horrible development especially for my thumbnails yeah our primary don zaka from chicago illinois it's a horrible development, especially for my thumbnails. Our primary, Dawn Zaka from Chicago, Illinois. It's a very Chicago name. Chicago-based vegan foodie who enjoys nothing more than eating at the finest restaurants. She has gathered her husband and closest travel buddies to cross one more thing off their bucket list, chartering a sailing yacht.

Dawn's husband, Tim Miller, has a different last name than her. And he's a CEO of a software company and spends most of his weekends sailing their boat on Lake Michigan. I feel like he's really the primary. Brian and Marnie... Why do you feel that way?

Because he's a CEO and they don't give her a profession except vegan uh uh brian and uh marnie hyphen such a great answer to that question let me ask you a question what makes more money it's chief executive officer or v i promise i'm not a misogynist. I read the tea leaves. I shouldn't even have said that. When you say something like that, it sounds like you are a misogynist.

But you're not. I am not. Dawn could be a CEO too, and maybe she is, and they didn't list it. I'm gambling not. Two of closest friends, Brian and Marnie Hyphand, are also with. One of them is never short on stories about his career as a counsel at a large Chicago-based company, extremely vague. Also are Lauren and Jamie. Lauren is the guy.

Jamie is the woman. Lauren works in PR, and these two can't wait to get their hands on the water toys and fulfill their need for speed. Full speed, Nicky Baki. Yes. Full speed, Nicky Baki. Yes, full speed, Nicky Baki. They want a lot of water toys, and they want vegan dishes, and they want to try stuff, and that's really all I have. I will say they're from Chicago, and one notable thing about Chicago,

they once had the Chicago fire. Big one. But actually, there's actually a much worse damaging fire oh do you know it no i thought you were going to talk about the molasses spill but i don't know if that was even in chicago i don't i think that was in chicago but no i'm talking about uh just over the uh illinois wisconsin border the pestigo fire actually well actually did much more damage and i think more lives lost but people never talk about it. They're merely years apart.

And that concludes the preference sheet meeting. Wow. Really quickly about the preference sheeting. Sorry. That kind of works though. A little bit, but not really. Vegan foodie is a little oxymoronic. I understand that there's a lot of great vegan offerings, but you really do cut yourself off from, I would say 98% of the culinary world when you're a vegan, uh, go to other

countries, they'll just spit in your face. Uh, so you can't really be that big of a foodie and be a vegan. I applaud, I applaud. I applaud the practice. And keep shoving that pasta down your gullet and telling yourself you're healthy. Okay. So Gabby says that she wants to quit the boat, and she confesses this to Ashley. This is a very, very sad moment because, of course, Ashley handles it in the most,

you know, bridesmaid 15 times over kind of way. She just freaks out because she has no idea how to console other women because they are at the end of the day, her sister, no competition, but yes, her sister and she sees her sister banging her boyfriend every time she looks at another female. That's a great point. I feel for Gabby. She's just so in her own head. She's not doing badly at all. She's just a head case sometimes.

You know, get out of your own way, boo. Ashley head butted every single part of a door five hours ago, and she's doing completely fine. I'm glad you said that, because Gabby, as far as Sea Rat crimes, she doesn't even make the podium. No. I mean, we had the guy who just got fired from a couple days ago. He almost killed everybody. He almost killed everybody. He almost killed everybody. And then a couple seasons ago, we had some asshole that

impregnated a fellow Sea Rat and didn't want to say that it was his kid for a full year. We got shitbag Pizza Rat on Down Under. You've got to see that. We've got chef spaz i mean what gabby is doing is you don't even get the ticket the police officer just lets you off i want to say this about gabby because you know she came in studio and we're actually talking about drinking you know she's a drinker but i think she's more like nick as opposed to me

nick is a uh where you drink a lot of alcohol when you're allowed to i call i call binge drinker here's here here's how I delineate. There's alcoholics and then there's problem drinkers. I don't need it to function in the morning. I don't even drink alone. But if I tie one on, I'm going to ruin everybody's night. You do. As opposed to me, if I don't drink, my legs shake.

Yeah. Totally different. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So next day. Next day. Well, first, Gabby sits with Gary and Gary Bear is a big pig, but he does have a heart.

He's good at consoling people. He's got a good shoulder to cry on. Next day, the Casa Azul hits the boat. And so do the guests. But not before Gabby or excuse me, not before Gary throws another shot at Daisy and not before Gabby uh or excuse me not before gare throws another shot at daisy and not before gabby completely redeems herself um she's so disappointed in dropping the one champagne flute that she decides to just say fuck it and throws half a dozen glasses on the floor i hope it wasn't because of her hand shaking if you know what i made i do know what you mean

super self-explanatory. Let me say this about Gabby. We just talked about it. Yeah. She has some... All right, so just to explain our audience, things called pickups are when you see Gabby just talking to the camera. I've been watching reality TV for 20 years.

She has some of the best pickups. I don't know if she's got a writer. She's got all the timing down. She's got a writer. She's got all the timing down. She's got a sharp whip. Gabby, if it doesn't work out as a Sea Rat, I think you've got a potential in podcasting. And please come for us and try and be our mortal enemies because I'll take you down like I did Ship Happens.

Yep. And what was that other piece of shit? Hollywood Ways. Oh, yeah. I took them down. T-Pain's podcast. Yeah, I did. Pitbull's podcast.

Pitbull's podcast. I mean, it's a murderer's row. If you want to's podcast? Yeah, I did. Pitbull's podcast? Pitbull's podcast. I mean, it's a murderer's row. If you want to hear that, head over to patreon.com slash another podcast, because if you fuck with me and you get in my lane and you're doing a podcast and I think it ain't right, me and the little patties will take you down. 100%. How about the gang plank report with former Chief Stew Adrian Gang? Is that happening?

So, Mini Sam and Carp so mini salmon they clean up the glass the teak is soaking wet but the guests do arrive and i don't know don't really notice it uh mini salmon carpaccio is the first snack it's a perfect thing to kick off the trip it's light flavorful elegant welcome to parsnips you know get ready for a great vacation and get ready to fucking throw up because once again sailing has caused irreparable damage um gary's finger looks to be broken but you know if we're not slaughtering sex workers how is glenn gonna get his rocks off gary is very very hurt and a wry smile crawls across Glenn's face. One final note on Glenn. I want to talk to him

about this. Okay, so I've done the math here. This is the fifth time he's gotten to go sailing this season and the second time he's almost maimed someone. So we had Marcos lose part of his fucking head. Gary may have to lose a finger. That's two out of five. If you do something

and two out of the five times you almost kill somebody, perhaps it's time to throw in the towel. Yeah, Tom got his walking papers. You're trying to kill everybody one by one. That's the only difference. We've got to talk to Glenn at some point. I'll get him. I'll set him up.

How do we not have more protocol for this sailing stuff? Why are the doors, Everything is flying open. Utensils, patio furniture, flying everywhere. It's the first time. Every time. The main door of the vessel is two giant panes of glass, and they're slamming into one another. Huge problem. Glenn, sort it out.

Glenn, you don't want to be on my shit list like Lee and fucking Sandy. He would never be there, but he might be. All right, that's it for us. Jumping to iTunes. We've got two more ad reads. Just kidding. Jumping to iTunes, ratings and reviews. Leave five stars.

Those are starting to slim down. I know that they're kind of anachronistic. Is that the right word? But jump in there. Leave five stars. And if you're on Spotify, hit five stars walk away join us on youtube nick and brian are crushing it there uh search another below deck podcast join us on facebook and patreon and visit all of our lovely sponsors we'll see you next week i'm dylan saying goodbye nick say goodbye bye bye voyage

magic mine permission to leave the boat. Permission granted. Permission granted. you you