Another Below Deck Podcast - Show Us Split | Below Deck Med S6 Finale and Reunion

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to say goodbye to another season of Below Deck Med. We talk flame throwers, frisbees, loose meat, demons, Jake, Split, weight dumps, Rose and much more Bravo's Below Deck Med. Au revoir M'Lady.  Video of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Sailing seasons 1 & 2 and our coverage of Love is Blind https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork Merch: AnotherMerchStore.com

I was just thinking back on like how wild that is that she essentially forced her to keep Lexi on, but was fine with Katie getting rid of Delaney. Like Captain Sandy, I have a person who's making this work environment beyond toxic and everyone hates her and she got violent with us actually. Give her another shot. Hey, I have a girl who's really... She doesn't fold towels that well. Yeah, she doesn't fold towels, but she's got a great attitude. She really wants to be on TV,

and she's here to help us, but we just got to move some cabins around. Get rid of her. Why don't you get rid of her? It's your call. I don't give a fuck. What the fuck? Welcome aboard the final episode. Final episodes.

In one. Two in one. Yeah, two in one. So the penultimate episode and the ultimate episode. Final episode. In one. Two in one. Yeah, two in one. So the penultimate episode and the ultimate episode. The ultimate and penultimate episode of another Below Deck podcast for this season. I'm Dylan, saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis.

Ahoy, mateys! Paptor's podcast over there behind my glasses. How well? You know, coming off The Bachelor, and if you like that show, go over to another Bachelor podcast on iTunes, Spotify, wherever you get podcasts. And also go over to another podcast show. There's always a free show of us just shooting the shit. 100%.

We have lots of properties. Go support us. But this show, it's mac and cheese, you know. We've been doing it for so many weeks now. It's just easy breezy. Love chatting about this show. Love shooting the poop with you guys about it. Sorry this show is coming out a little bit late.

Our schedules were nutso this past week, but tonight we will be doing the season finale and the reunion in one, as we mentioned. Did I go around the horn? Not yet. You said, we said hello. I said, ahoy, mateys. You did?

I don't remember saying hello. Yeah, no, no, no. We did do that. We did do that. You mentioned, apologies for it coming out late. This actually might just be prep for what's going to happen for Below Deck Reg. Right. Because we may have to be recording them on Wednesday nights.

There's a lot of moving parts, and Peacock refuses to continue to release them early. Yeah, we talked about it last week, the chaos that it wrought on the, is that the right word? Yeah. On the Facebook groups. You know all the people with no lives like Nick and us commenting about the show. They don't want anything spoiled about it. They complained to the digital platform

and our lives are made much harder and you will not be hearing this show as close to release date as you once did. But, you know, it's Captain Lee's season. It's the flagship season. It's going to be great even if it comes out on Thursday. Oh, a little tease.

We're in negotiations with Chef Rachel to perhaps do panel on the first episode. Would that be fun to have someone talk about the show that was actually on the show? Right, right, right, right, right. The cooter troopers. they will rise yeah if she hasn't patented that she should were we gonna have a new panel or just a little extra supplementary podcast we'll discuss it on mike and also um we promised you guys a live thing on patreon and i am happy to tell you we are not fucking doing it uh as i mentioned the schedules have just gotten so clogged up and i am so sorry to all of you guys i don't mean to uh to be a tease but we're going to

find a time to do the live um patreon hangout with you guys very very soon we're not gonna you know it's not gonna be months and months we'll do it in a couple weeks we'll find find a time to just have more of a general hangout. It doesn't even need to be below deck. Dylan, I don't know if we're in PSAs or what we're doing right now. And I know we've got to get to the show because we've got two shows we've got to cover. But I haven't brought this up. And forgive me, I didn't discuss it with the boys prior to this.

I'm not forgiving you because we are smack dab in the middle of PSAs. I mean, am I fucking high? Did you not know that? I'll forgive you. I like talking about this stuff on air. We're going to do a live Patreon thing, which is us being in the room. It'll probably be a little bit more produced. And if I have my hand, it'll be have some great production or what have you.

But I want to do a live, live show. What a disgusting comment. I want to do a live, live show. I want to go to a comedy club and do our first live show. Right, right, right. And I've actually pinpointed where i think we should execute that first show and that is at cobs in san francisco right so i'm putting this out there maybe we'll do a poll uh i'll do this on bachelor too if if we can get more than 100 people that said they'll

fucking show up to see us live they'll book us there and you can see us live so uh nicky can you put out a poll or something like that i i will and i i'm also i would like to add to the poll. I can't remember the name of the club, but it's in Tempe, Arizona. I know people who know that. Big fan of that. A lot of golf out there. A lot of golf, less homeless, also knows someone at the comedy club.

We'll see how it plays out. We'll start a poll. Tempe or San Francisco, both great locales. All right, okay. We'll start a poll. Willoughby, Tempe, or San Francisco. Both great locales. All right, guys. We have a season finale and a reunion to get to. Let's go ahead and do thoughts, pots and nuts, for the combination of both. Wild card, curveball, hit it out of the park. How about the whole season?

Pat, why don't you hit it out of the park with whatever you want to pot on? All right. Well, in typical fashion, there's too many episodes below deck they should uh condense it down to just 14 episodes by the time we get to episode 18 there's nothing left to squeeze out of this entertainment out of that towel it's boring and they're just it's slowly we're on the other side of a peak of a hill and we're going downward and it's boring as hell and i don't like that and that's exactly this season did once lexi left the boat once delaney was not allowed to fold towels down in the basement anymore, we had no more drama.

It was just paint-by-numbers TV. No more villain. No more fun. I give the entire season 60 nods. What were you going to say, Nicky? I was just trying to say me next because I agree with everything you said, and I'm going gonna use an analogy i'm making off the cuff right now this season was like a charms blow pop sucker right right right

uh the very first episode is like when you're trying to get that wrapper off and you have you done this before no this is the very first time this is off the cuff got it so i pull off the wrapper and and sometimes it comes off clean and it's a good episode but sometimes it gets stuck and you rip it all off and there's that stuff on the bottom and you're forced to try to pull that off and then your hands get sticky or suck it with it on there and then your hands getting sticky uh but then you love a blow pop but then you finally find a scissors and you get it off and then all of a sudden you have a delicious taste in your mouth.

For me, it's either watermelon or green apple. That's not green apple. For idiots, it's strawberry, which is also pretty good. I love blow pops. But not grape, except I do like grape also, but it would be my fourth. Still on the Mount Warshmore. You know, funny anecdote. Me and Nick were driving the other day.

Nick needed a little Celsius to get him jacked up a little bit. You know what I mean? He's got to get jacked up. He had some work to do. So I walked in the gas station. He said, get me whatever flavor Celsius you want. I said, what are you, a crazy person? But thank you for the shot at this.

I go in. I get him a grape Celsius. He gives me a little taste. It tasted like that one time I did promethazine on the banks of the Mississippi River. I mean, it literally tasted like medicine. Just like Mark Twain. Okay, go ahead. uh so the sucker it's delicious all of a sudden this is episodes two three lexi's getting fucking crazy four five six but then uh we start to get to that rough part where you're half sucker half gum and you're like what is this right but the gum you start tasting it's delicious

this is really good gum you finally get to the gum you don't wait you bite into it and you're like wow this is so flavorful but then we get to episode 14 and that gum has lost its flavor and now i'm on the last episode i'm like why am i still chewing this it's like a soft but hard thing in your mouth and then and then i swallow it which is the reunion i it's odd but i enjoy it and what i want to and how many pots uh season 73 this episode not the reunion the finale 12th you know we've talked about this season missing a certain genet sequence which is a hot guy to really you know you know get things sopping, get things nasty, get things hot, and also bothered. And we didn't have that, but we did have one of the most unified

Captain Planet's team of little helpers that I have ever seen on this show. It was so refreshing to have people who actually loved each other. We'll get to it later later but they're on a text thread called like we all fucked and saw each other's tits and split or something like that it was very creative and i'm like how on your iphone group chat can you see that entire don't name it you can't you can't name it that um but i loved seeing the camaraderie between everybody and i loved seeing the demon lexi try to throw everyone off their gosh axes axes but they didn't falter they fell in love and that's why i give this season

82 pots they should rename their group chat to bdms7 hey uh can i uh just make a statement here probably i'm peeking the pulling the curtain back as I should. Pat, of course. Oh, okay. So I reached out to two cast members of this season, as Nicky ordered me to. He said, hey, Pat, why don't you do something? And I said, fair enough. Right, right, right. So I reached out to Lexi. He said fair enough. And I reached out to Delaney. Yeah. And which one do you think responded to my request to have them do panel with us on the reunion? Delaney.

Delaney. 100%. And who do you think was a witch? A horrible person? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lexi. Lexi. Right, right, right.

Lexi, I was India, babe, but I'm over it now. Oh, everyone's over it. Everyone's over it. Oh, she's got some fans out there. Oh, fuck off. Oh, boy. There are fucking four creeps that aunt like she always does these like q and a's on her instagram stories and it's like four four people and they're like

more ass shots and she responds to them because they're feeding her ego when everybody else is like go away you demon right what did she say to you oh uh lexi just like uh uh like a no oh what a witch right but delaney was hey, I'm kind of over it. I'm moving on. Sure. And I was like, that's exactly, you should do that. Well, she's not over it because she will be on Below Deck, Down Under, and or Mexico or Iceland or however many they're going to make us.

And our show, no doubt. She loves us. So let's move into the show. We got a lot of stuff to cover. So season finale, let's begin. The first what felt like 15 minutes of this show was a recap of what had transpired this season uh it was front-loaded with the narrative and the drama of will matt make it through the last 42 minutes of this season i joked last week that um the answer was always going to be m night shaming man of course right um

you know but but they make us think like you know his journey has been so tumultuous and remember that there is a guy waiting in the wings to make breakfast in the morning should matt not make it through the night luga the chef sleeps with the fishes. Get over yourself. Stop tricking us with this stuff. Let's just get to the show, okay? But we are left with the answer. Will Matt shoot himself in the fucking face, which is what he said last episode? And once again, the M. Night Chamey Man answer is no.

He pumps out the A.M. Trough cuisine for Jermell and her friends. Jermell. And we move on um as the guests fuck around on the water toys the rest of the sea rats panic uh prep the beach picnic matt continues to mope to his co-worker who is swamped about how he's ruined everything and the chicken pesto pasta might drive him over the edge. It is not his fuck ups. I've said this before that make him unlikable. It's his response to his fuck ups.

Right. Don't be such. I'll say it again. A sniveling little bitch. Okay. That is what triggers me. I hadn't put my finger on it until you said that word. Right, right, right. Sniveling little bitch. Okay. That is what triggers me. I hadn't put my finger on it until you said that word. Right, right, right.

Sniveling. Yeah, exactly. One of his least favorite qualities. I would say the least. So we've said often what we would do aboard this vessel. Whiteboard with the starting tip, knocking it down as we go along, taking shits on the teak. And these are the things that we would do if we were having an ideal time

a utopia aboard m'lady but what we would do if we had to look for sister katie and sister courtney the way that deborah had to i mean uh we would have lit the boat on fire i feel um she is going around literally screaming down empty hallways for some type of service. It's shocking. Can I jump ahead? Because I don't want to get ahead of myself. Hang on. Do you recognize the problem with what you just said?

Right, right, right. What a paradox. Well, I'm going to get ahead of myself here. Jump to the reunion asking Katie if she has any regrets about letting Delaney go and it just being her and that whatever zanny she was taking. If she had any regrets for that, she says, not a single regret. How about that one where the person paying $60,000 a day

was chasing you down several hallways to find someone to serve them drinks? You know who I bet regretted her decision? Debra. Right. Debra. You're so right. I would not have taken this well i would have started taking my empty glasses that they are not busing and smashing them right on the floor and

then they would have to clean that up and you would be even more overworked look at what the predicament that you're in now nick would say yeah nick you're a kinder man than me not only would i take a shit on the bow i just go into the kitchen i'd start taking food out and hocking it over into the water i would do that that would not be productive i would and then i would go down to their their already stinky cabins and take a shit there too you know what i'd do i'd go in that galley i'd say oh is that chicken you're gonna make tonight and he'd go mac oh yeah please don't eat it and i would just pull it out and i would just start eating it right in front of sniveling face just raw just start munching on it

and saying oh it looks like you're not gonna be able to make this tonight because i'm gonna be so sick that you can't even feed me can i be honest with you guys yeah i would probably actually continue to act pleasant towards the staff and then be like to you guys yeah i would probably actually continue to act pleasant towards the staff and then be like to you guys like can you believe this okay so katie heads down to the galley and she may be a moron for getting rid of delaney but she handles matt like an absolute champion um he is in a panic he is i don't know like a butterfly that got hit with a BB gun. I wish. Bad analogy.

And what a sad analogy, too. I don't want to see that. But he's flopping all over the place, right? And he's like, oh, should I do burgers? Should I do burgers? And she just stuffs her face with food, and she looks at him, and she goes, what is wrong with you? And then she leaves the galley.

It's comical how big of a shit this day is taking on matt um at one point malia walks in she goes uh hey we're a half an hour early we need you ready in 10 minutes and he almost cries but he gets it together and the crew head to one of the various cool and challenging to get to spots in croatia it is a gothic fortress with what looks to be a highway to the afterlife in it. Did you see that where they're walking up those steps? A highway to hell? No, heaven. The good afterlife. Or where our ancient people were trying to communicate with the aliens

that that's where it should land, the ship or something. Trying to communicate? You mean successfully communicating to them? That's what I meant. Pat just embodied that guy from Ancient Aliens with the crazy hair and the wonky if you look at this diagram you can clearly see that uh he is in a spaceship and the eagle on his head is actually the rocket boosters well why is it on his head and it looked like an eagle these are questions that are not important to what we're talking about. You're a lunatic. I watched 12 minutes of that show one time.

I'm like, what has happened to the History Channel? Yeah, exactly. No, the Anunnaki are a beautiful race of people who did help us progress toward our almost godlike status with the help of, I've said it a thousand times, I'll say it again, Satan. So, a good chunk of the crew are off the boat when milady goes into red alert they literally need to do a weight dump to save the boat from getting dragged into shallow water lloyd is in the ocean and they're like hey stay here we'll circle back baby i mean it's a dire situation and they always split this over commercial breaks like i hate that the most minute

dumb thing like will they get uh you know fit into the dock of course they will this was seemed like a pretty serious like i said red alarm or red alert, I can't remember what I said, situation, and they just breezed by it like nothing happened. We had to do a weight dump. They left Lloyd in the middle of the fucking Mediterranean. They should have got rid of Matt. God, I wish they threw him over the board. Hey, simultaneously, I want to say something.

I brought this up on the show before. Katie, as she's talking with black guests, says she's going to get them all done good in a southern drop. I would have loved if one of the black guests said, do you enjoy bologna sandwiches with mayonnaise? Because why are you talking to us like that, you condescending bitch?

I really hate when politicians do this. They want to put you all in chains if you don't vote for me. Hillary's got hot sauce. You're a white guy and you're 80. What you talking about where's this voice coming from you jerk uh what do well you know what i'm gonna say right no politics oh they all do it they all both sides does oh okay so name someone on the other side that i thought was especially egregious oh they all fucking do it bill clinton used to do it all the time. He said the other side.

The other side. George Bush used to do it. No, that's just how he talked. Oh, he was from Texas. How'd you throw a shoe at me? In Iraq. I was like Biden and Bush in one. I'm really bad at impressions.

It's an act of disrespect to throw a shoe at someone. Dylan, he did mention people from the other side because it's not red versus blue. It's us versus them. All right. So crisis averted. Now let's get back to jamelle hill and her bitchy husband so katie brings up the food and tells the guests to come eat to which her husband says you're not going to bring it to us and listen excuse me i get it they probably should bring it to you but also shut the fuck up we're on vacation dylan and also dylan after centuries of oppression in the country they came from i think there might be a little chip on their shoulder like why am i

not getting served like every other white person who's been on this got it got it all right good point good point have some sensitivity dylan uh all right so anything before we get back to the boat now corny says that she has done 30,000 steps two days in a row, which is just fucking bonkers. And I want to clarify, when I said the country they came from, I meant America. Right. I think we knew that.

But, okay. No, it could be misconstrued as him calling Africa a country. If you guys didn't like that, call Nick a racist on Facebook. Thank you. So, Katie, who Nick a racist on Facebook. Thank you. So, Katie. Wouldn't be the first to ask. I can't even imagine how many steps she's clocking. Arrives back from the picnic.

And whatever the guests are putting her through, it is nothing compared to what Spaz is subjecting her to. You guys want to take the what courses should i cut out thing because i i really have no words well he basically said i want to make everything that's in my little brain and she says matt i don't give a fuck i'd be like hey sister matt shut the fuck up i called him sister okay so before we go to commercial break um well i was was going to say, he doubles back on poor Katie. I actually kind of like her being tortured by this tool. Oh, okay.

Because he tracks her down once again, and I believe if she could have smothered him with a cloth filled with chloroform and thrown him over the boat, she would. And I would have applauded. All right, so before we get to commercial break. I know it would have helped that weight dump. We get a little tease once again of Luca. He's there.

What's going to happen? Bravo. Don't be so insulting to your audience, please. We have to move on. But before we do, let's take a quick break to listen to us talk a little bit about some magic mind. Guys, do not ingest Adderall do not ingest bang do not ingest too many cups of third wave burr mill ground coffee it jacks you up a bit too much or celsius it may seem like it's like not as bro-y as bang it's crack it. It's the same thing as Bang. It's methamphetamines in a can.

You know what isn't? Magic Mind. Magic Mind. It is a anti-procrastination elixir filled with some of the most wholesome ingredients on planet Earth. Cordyceps, Lion's Mane, Echinacea, Matcha. I was so worried you were going to forget Echinacea. The stuff that will hum you throughout your day with a zen, calm focus, checking things off your to-do with a graceful, calm wrist.

Pat, what do you got? Well, I don't know if I mentioned this before. I fucking snuck it in my daughter's baby bottle, and she sucked all that up. And then I don't actually have a tape of her doing this, but this is what she said over and over. She just kept saying, je vends de va. I'm like, what the fuck is that?

She fucking speaks French now, this little bitch. What does that mean? It says, I love you, papa. Oh, my God. Je l'aime, dempa. I'm like, what the fuck? She drank Magic Mind. She now speaks two languages just like that.

I've never studied French in my entire life, and I knew what that meant somehow. And I think it was because of the Magic Mind, which sometimes we talk so fluidly and so hilariously about, I'm worried people don't know what it is. It's a shot of green juice you take once a day. Got a little bit of caffeine, but not too much, and a bunch of other natural ingredients that'll just really fucking put you in the zone. And this is our last read for it and i work for this man please buy it go to

magicmind.co and use promo code below deck hey brian where i called my uh 19 month old a bitch uh can you squeeze in there love bud nice nice oh that reminds me at the end of this can we just look at the cameras like a bunch of different angles that's for brian so we can use it for like shit and i keep forgetting at the end at the end okay great so uh let's move on to dinner uh aka matt's last hoorah um so it is hood and it's class all at the same time matt is uh asking to be stabbed in the face, but he does put out a dinner. He serves the only dish that Katie told him not to serve, fried shrimp, microaggression, and chili aioli. Then, one of the most perplexing, disgusting meals he has served so far,

salmon and noodles. Sounds like a lean cuisine thing a jillian michaels lean cuisine collab um it's absolutely revolting this is accompanied by a plate of loose steak just in case you want to smush some beef on the side of your plate um the only thing that would have been worse is salmon and manila the guest said this was his best meal and it may have been but i'll pay that no mind and i'll go ahead and give the meal four pots for a season average of just 11 pots i've kept track of these numbers and guys we've talked about this before just because you're wealthy does not mean you have a palate it means that you more often than not eat shit overpriced food which is why the cuisine of one pigeon satiates you right but if it was us on the boat i would as i've said said before turn most entrees and or starters into frisbees they would be feeding poseidon not dill this guy would also help i'd be sitting next to you and i'd be going hey is this a night where i shit on the deck or do we smile i'd be looking at you asking you for this all right so

um overall matt did okay this season. He was not anywhere near as bad as some of the chefs we've had. But once you get bumped into the category of actual chef and not here to light the boat on fire, metaphorically, he's at bottom of the barrel. Bottom of the barrel. That could be considered good or bad. There are tears to this. There are tears to this.

There are tears to this. I wonder if he's still listening. All right, so meanwhile. Meanwhile. Lloyd gets asked to do the crossing. Bad idea, Martin. He seems to be a competent bottom rung. I guess so, but he's just so emotional.

He seems to not have much strength. I think, who's the guy who, when he shaved his, cut his hair off, he lost his power? Samson. The exact opposite is with Lloyd. He shaved that fucking mustache off, and he got more normal. Right, right, right. He was a delight during that reunion. Yeah, well, he does have a goose wrapped around his wrist permanently.

And he does have a cute little girlfriend now. Oh, does he really? Yeah, he's dating a woman. Oh, that's fun. Which is funny because getting ahead of myself, but I'm going to forget it later. At one point, Andy asked him he's like, so you're dating a fellow cast

boat mate now? And Andy really cries. He's like, were you dating a guy or a girl? Doesn't he ask him that? No, I'm telling you he like slow really cries. He's like, were you dating a guy or a girl? Doesn't he ask him that? No, I'm telling you, he like slow rolled him. He goes, are you dating a fellow? Boat worker?

All right, we'll get there. We'll get there. We'll find the clip. Katie and he hug it out. Excuse me? Katie and he hug it out? Oh, no. Katie and Matt hug it out uh oh no katie and matt hug it out um and he kind of chokes her a

little bit um accidentally but um you know leave that shit for the sex parties freak hey uh dylan i want to get into i fucked up there completely threw us off i couldn't read my nose it's all right i do it all the time hey uh, Sandy, I want you to know, because if it's not you listening, I know you have a bunch of acolytes that listen and they give information back to you. I've called OSHA and they're coming for you. You had Katie work a 20 and a half hour shift.

That is really illegal and dangerous and someone can get fucking killed. Hey, Pat. That's why you're a horrible captain. Yes? There's no OSHA on the ocean. Yeah. There ain't no fucking OSHA on the ocean. Yeah. There ain't no fucking ocean on the ocean.

You teed it up for him. Fucking ocean law, dude. You can make people work 72 hours straight until they drop dead. They're five miles out of the coast off a boat. Be like, we can't go past. Hey, there's a monkey with a knife. Go take care of it. What's the name of this boat?

We never talked about it. Milady. Oh, Milady. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Milady, the guy who owns that boat. Get this message to him. Never let Captain Sandy, she's a danger to your boat.

She'll get people killed for God damn sake. What you've done is anthropomorphized it, right? Exactly. It also gets shy, as we know from Captain Lee. All right, so we get mention of Split, and I want to talk about this really quickly. Such a gigantic gaffe whoa um to not have the cameras go

and see what took place why not make this show better i know that this was probably a quarantine thing that they needed to do but turn this into the format of the show. Cut so much of the droll ocean media. Oh, I wonder if the boat will be able to park. Exactly. Cut it out. Make the episodes on a board, m'lady, 10 or 12 episodes. And let's go do a little Summer House Junior in the Mediterranean or the Bahamas or whatever. Let's put the black and white cameras in the bedrooms

and let's see people both suck and fuck and also fight and cry and hug why can't we see this what an incredible idea and it just has everything because we have the trauma bonding of the the intense work environment for six weeks so So then once they are off, it's like one night, but for however many weeks they are. And they're already comfortable with each other. So the sucking and fucking will happen immediately. Nick, not to forget, they're all sea rats. All right. Sea rats are great.

I got to speed this up. We get the last evening of Katie's misery misery after 24 hours of work the guests finally get out of the hot tub and then the next morning in an m night chamois man type twist matt has a lot of anxiety about the meal he's prepping but everything does go swimming breakfast last docking yada yada yada and then we get to the final tip now someone got molested this was one of my favorite moments of the episode and it kicks off a pattern of sandy picking up a flamethrower and turning it on high and pointing it straight at matt she torches him a couple times this episode and here is the first one she says um matt you are a completely different person than who walked aboard this vessel so bravo

i mean so you were a pile of i think i built that up too much but she'll she'll torch him a little bit more in a little bit though i don't want to get ahead of myself. Who is the captain of Milady, Sandy or Elon Musk? He made a blowtorch. All right. So with Sandy crying over her protege who she outed on pills on Cameo, I have to say Captain Sandy has bumped up a couple pots in my minutes pocketbook. Well, she has been not that bad this season. She has not been Captain Timeshare.

She has not been waltzing around the galley, seeing what's going on with the chicken braids or any of that stuff. She's just been a pretty decent captain. I got destroyed by her this season. I created a well-crafted nickname that the fans of this show loved she apparently listened uh she didn't like my banter of mocking her for living in the galley and thus we had multiple people that were new listeners like

hey why is pat caller timeshare we got to be more strategic about this right like what what i think what i think we've done with captain uh lee Rohrbach or whatever the fuck his name is, we've accused him of beating off incessantly, taking shits and playing Fruit Ninja. He loves assholes too. Yeah. And what I think that's going to do is coax him out of the wheelhouse

where he beats off incessantly, takes shits and plays Fruit Ninja. So what he'll be this season is Captain Timeshare. Oh, in the gallows. Yes. If our hypothesis is be this season is kind of the timeshare. Oh, in the gallows. Yes. If our hypothesis is correct. What are you cooking there?

Right. What is that, flat steak? But now, if he heard this, he may continue to sit in the bridge and beat off, play free at Buja. And the other thing you said, was it eating ass? Taking shits. I don't know. I definitely don't eat ass anymore.

All right. So last tip was 20 grand they made some pretty solid somewhere over a hundred thousand dollars i love i always love like the bragging of everything all the tips combined like who cares yeah what does that number mean and everybody should be thanking katie for their 134 more dollars on the left. Yeah, thank God. Okay, so we have to get out to our night on the town, but first we get some horrible VO of Sandy

saying that she will be inviting the backup chef for a drink later, which is one of the most bizarre moves ever. Luca comes aboard and sits by awkwardly while passive aggressively telling everybody that uh he's actually pretty fucking pissed off that he had to sit in a room for

four weeks um okay i give a little insight as i was talking to the lady yesterday she was equally as fucking pissed oh really yeah she's a pretty nice person didn't have a lot of bad things to say about the show but she said one thing is she thought producers fucked with her a little bit and she disdained being in that fucking uh being quarantined like that for that little how long does this dm thread go it was not that lengthy it was you know a few messages back and forth okay was that wrong no no i just want you to be professional oh please do you think i would go there dylan i'm a married man with a small child what's oh i thought you're gonna say small penis which is i mean it's true right i'm irish yeah you're punished but you're not blowing anybody away no can you bram delaney

and uh luca who wants to be tim Robbins in the hole in Shawshank? Exactly. For three weeks. You're going to have to throw up a Marilyn Monroe poster and then bore out of one of the walls. Four walls, four weeks. Can I? Yes.

Okay, so believe it or not, Matt does not handle Luca's presence well. Believe it or not, Matt does not handle Luca's presence well. Believe it or not, Matt doesn't handle Luca's presence well. He says that he is going to need to step away and that he can't drink too much because I think he said, and I quote, I will attack. I'll kill him. Right. I'd like to see that fight spazzy. He outweighs you by about 60 pounds, buddy. And he's aatian sea rat and

a street rat so there's no way you're winning that fight he'll find something sharp out of thin air and stab you with it i mean that's what these gypsies do right there's no beating them so um we have to get out uh on our night out they had head to the setting where Courtney drove Z's head into the cobblestone and they have some sea bass and some spritz. We go around the... What are you doing? What was that?

Just in camera, you can only see your hand. So it's really cool in your hand. Oh, I see that. I see that. Go to YouTube if you want to see that. So we go around the table. We get some highs and lows. And this is when Sandy pulls out that fucking flamethrower again. She massacres the pigeon.

So she says, my low light was when you faked that knee injury and left us all in the lurch cooking lobster for paying guests. And my highlight was when you weren't here that night. I mean, my gosh. Somebody get a fire extinguisher. He's on fire right now. Matt, Matt, stop, drop, and roll. Speaking of fires, after this great moment,

which was the best part of the episode, they commence on blowing smoke up each other's assholes. Right, right, right. Which was disgusting. Well, yes, there's a lot of camaraderie as shots at the table, and Sandy says, I gotta get out of here, because if I do not,

this city will be soaked in blood. I bet that smoke was derived, up each other's asses, was derived from Sandy's flamethrower. All right, so a shot of what I think Fernette hits the table, and then they hit the crew mask. The lazy Susan is ridden hard,

and David falls once again split is mentioned once again and anything on the goodbyes or can we let's get the fuck out of here on to the I am so pissed off at this split thing not only did they film it I don't think it actually happened what a disappointment the only reason I tuned

in for this reunion two things alright let's see Lexi explain way out of this i had predicted to dylan days before we watched i said there's no fucking way she's showing up the other thing is i want to hear about the sex party who filled what holes who flipped whose tabbies they didn't give any of that up what's up four-year-old shit his pants look at that smile creep across his face when he says flipping tabbies that's unbelievable you used to say that i took that from you no you did not have never said that before my life that doesn't that sounds more

pat to dylan it sounds more pat it sounds pat not more all right so let's get to the reunion i knew this fucker wasn't going to be a three-parter it was barely an hour of television. It was horrendous. And honestly, I know these Sea Rats aren't like, you know, they're not career reality stars like, you know, Erica Jane. Or Kate. Or Kate or Rinna or, you know, Housewives or even the people on Southern Char um or summer house like the those people are closer to being housewives they're not sea rats they're not see by the way nick can you hit uh courtney up and ask her if she's got any of those zannies she was taking hey hey hey take it easy okay she was on something i know she was drunk she's running from a lot of pain right now

and it's not funny and just like you're facilitating a drug deal we're on camera yeah exactly this is going out to people anyway so really quickly i don't deal these sea rats need to work right they can't take time out of their busy lives um to fly to los angeles and commensurate with one another they used to all do it, except when one of them impregnated someone last year, and I understood why he was still on a boat. Oh, that's true. They used to do live ones, right? All of them together.

They would go to the clubhouse. I guess we're still Zooming because of quarantine. No, Andy has been for at least the last eight months still having guests actually come to watch what happens. Right, but I think with international travel, it may be be a little tough i'll give you a couple points there but there were a number of those sea rats uh in the local portland yes yeah seattle i i'm florida not only am i in below deck facebook groups but i'm in wwhl uh uh facebook groups because you guys know i love hearing the 411 from andy in his clubhouse but knows too much uh a lot of them uh always talk about how much he he he does not care about

below deck it's super it's super uh he showed it's it's super profitable for him but it's not his babies like housewives is his babies yeah and so like that's another just another reason to all the things you said of why they're not meeting in person he doesn't give a fuck he's like no say like save the money even though they just keep spinning off and spinning off but they say he doesn't like the show come on man care more so theories i've always thought he's done a great job hosting and stuff i like it um fucking what was this oh he says some of these jokes in this reunion are like what in god's name are you this is embarrassing and i and you should you just shouldn't be saying some of these things i i i can sum this entire hour up in one sentence it's like oh you guys

all get along really really really well to the point that you fuck each other but you won't tell us about it and that's the only thing interesting about you right right right oh this is what they should long sentence long sentence this is if i'm the producer because bravo has a budget 61 pots lexi has a price if you would have paid her 25k to be on this she would have taken the heat for that money yeah but here's the thing no one in uh could no one could write a check to her for that much money and not have their hands spontaneously begin bleeding as the ink is kind of scrawling across that paper because it's just so like i it who gives a fuck about her but when Who wants to hear her talk about anything? Well, I would have been interested.

It would have been a lot of fun banter back and forth. But I want to say this. This show starts off with a look back on all the boatmances that took place. There were none. The one thing that i was reminded was that uh deckhand dave tried to fuck delaney at some point but that was fleeting well and deckhand dave um you know he there i don't want to talk about flames too much on the show but they're flaming him right

they're kind of making fun of the fact that there's a joke in there about how he had as much chemistry with Malia as he did with that hot tub he fell out of. It was just like, these are the jokes I'm talking about. I'm like, what? What are you fucking saying? That doesn't make any sense. But he takes command of the flames,

and he throws them right back at Delaney. He says, rather coyly and with huge teeth, I wasn't trying to fuck Delaney. I says, rather coyly and with huge teeth, I wasn't trying to fuck Delaney. I was just, Daddy wanted a bigger bed? David, who are you kidding, man? Who are you kidding? You were trying to sleep with her. You knew she was leaving the next day

and you were trying to bed her. What are we talking about? Don't be rude to Delaney, okay? Take the L. It's not her fault. They compared him to some British boy band with also giant teeth and it was spit and image it was yeah he said no he looked like no it was a BG oh it was the BG yeah was it the BGs yeah they had a lot of no it wasn't Dylan I'm telling you it was 100% because I have it looked like they're we can get to it but it looked like the Hardy Boys no they

were the Beatles first. The fun part about the Bee Gees is they had a lot of evolution throughout the years. Sure, and then they made it to the pinnacle, which was Nights on Broadway. And doing Blow. They started out as the Beatles, and then they became Disco. Got it. I love the Bee Gees. Me too.

Only one left. In the picture that Brian put up, it was the guy in the middle side by side of these two it was uh yeah it was a very gay mean moment for mandy he was like hey you know what you look like he just threw up this fucking picture so they just flamed him so anyways um where are they getting these flamethrowers it's such a doubt anything on raiding the lap dances between coco and god no god no of course not we learn everyone's uh relationship status i would also argue who cares however andy asked one of the stupider questions of the night he asked he asked deckhand dave if he understood why malia picked jake have you seen jake And have you seen the fourth BJ?

Take it easy, okay? Have you seen Jake? No one else is in a relationship aside from Lloyd and Malia. So, she's dating Hawkeye Jake. Quick note for the producers. Why do you put this guy in front of camera? Right? Why is he in the bowels

of this vessel for an entire season and only when he comes to split does he fuck and suck. Common thread here with Jake's appearance on this show. It's not shown. What the fuck is going on here? You got hot guy Jake. Get him in front of the lenses.

And chief engineer was hot guy too. Oh Martin, he's handsome. So Malia delivers a not so thinly veiled slam at Captain Sandy. She says A slime ball with a big mouth. She says in fact I'm not a lesbian actually.

You were wrong when you were on all those opioids on Cameo. And could have just been slid in there. Fun little actually um and could you were wrong when you were on all those opioids on candy yo and could have just been slid in there fun little burn from malia just a quick touch of that flamethrower but instead andy's let's let andy's like let's dive deeper but i'm glad he did because he played the clip right but but um he didn't play he didn't i don't know why i agreed to that i thought he did because then she as captain sandy said it was taken out of context no sandy i've seen the cameo yeah it's not the whole thing was the context

the whole thing was and you definitely were on pills it was like someone said like can you wish my husband a happy birthday and she was like happy birthday you know let me tell you some and then just went on a diatribe about it for two minutes and then said and remember happy birthday and uh she said it was edited well that guy is gonna work in hollywood on like marvel films because it was a one shot of her spinning around in her apartment it was like it was 1970 you can't green screen that yeah exactly take some ownership there captain but Malia says, I'm not a lesbian. And Captain Sandy goes, ha ha, that's funny. And I thought that they were going to leave it alone.

Thankfully, Andy does not. They drilled down on it. And it's still kind of brushed under the rug. Sandy's just like, all the things we talked about, I guess I don't need to rehash it. But there was no I'm sorry or anything like that, really. she swept it out of the rug yeah you said something you were on pills it's crazy that she did that hey when we start getting paid to do cameos wait to see how drunk and fun i get right i'll talk so much shit about these guys yeah exactly which we do have cameos

essentially available at the attack cock tier and Attack Hawk tier at Patreon.com slash another podcast network. $100. You can say anything you want in these airways. We're putting up numbies with the amount of viewers and listeners right now. So that's a cheap, cheap value. All right. So let's move on to Coco opening up the rosé. Oh, boy.

Uh-oh. I mean, she's Blacked out by the end of it Gone and we'll get to her Fighting with Andy about how How drunk she is Matt's in the spotlight at this point Yeah so then we get to Chef Matt And I guess the whole tale begins

He faked a knee injury Through a temper tantrum, and Sandy tells him welcome back for all of his troubles. They get to the first night, the night he left. He says, I had a panic attack. Matt, don't try to rake in on that currency. You know, like, oh, can I have some mental health problems, please? Fuck off. And this was DJ Khaled on Hot Ones. i didn't quit yeah yeah you did you had an anxiety attack and you you

left or i wouldn't pressure i wouldn't pressure anybody to jump off a building and do drugs that's not what this is we're just asking you to eat chicken wings man i i wouldn't tell anybody to kill themselves it's just it's sriracha what are you talking about this isn't me quitting this is me losing this is me i'm inspiring no you quit you're a loser okay so god he's a douchebag uh anything before we get to the question of would you like to work with matt again oh no all right so a couple things here um we had that wonderful look back at uh what sandy was very proud of and of her and the crew cooking right right for the first charter that was great and a complete embarrassment but sandy doesn't

take it that way and then we learned that matt has left two separate dinner parties yeah because he that he was hired to cook for right because he was upset yeah shocking he left my banquet never again and finally asked and i thought this was fire i thought this was fire he asked captain sandy um why do you keep allowing this douchebag to come back on the boat yeah and it was a great question who would want to work with matt again because inevitably there were going to be some hands that remain down but at first they all pop up and matt's all smiles and then he sees sandy's hand and it's not raised and in a four-year-old temper tantrum he'll turn he says well you know what you're the worst fucking captain i've ever worked with. I mean, this guy has the emotional maturity of a...

And I'll bleep that. I'm sorry. But, I mean, my fucking God. You know how much I hate this man. Yeah. I hate someone else almost as much. Even a broken clock's right twice a day. Oh, who's that?

He was dead on. Oh, her? No, he wasn't. She is horrible. No, no. He's horrible. They're both horrible. All right.

So can we move on to Lexi? Yes. She's fake Captain Sandy, Dylan. Okay. We begin with a montage of all of the strange pathological lies that she told. I live in a high rise. I have a PhD. $8,000 a month.

I have a PhD in biology. Excuse me. month i have a phd in biology excuse me and before we get back to the the crew we have sandy a clip of sandy telling her that she wants katie or a clip of sandy telling katie that she wants her to give lexi one more chance and i was just thinking back on how wild that is, that she essentially forced her to keep Lexi on, but was fine with Katie getting rid of Delaney. Like, here is Captain Sandy. I have a person who's making this work environment beyond toxic, and everyone hates her, and she got violent with us, actually.

Give her another shot. Hey, I have a girl who's really got a... She doesn't fold towels that well. Yeah, she doesn't fold towels, but she's got a great attitude. She really wants to be on TV, and she's here to help us, but we just got to move some cabins around. Get rid of her! Why don't you get rid of her?

It's your call. I don't give a fuck. What the fuck? Remember when you defended her five minutes ago? Yeah. Okay. So, another great cue from sandy having seen the footage back um or another great cue from andy excuse me having seen the footage back do you think it was wise to uh keep giving lexi chances um to which sandy replies uh no

actually uh did you guys catch the moment all right so i don't know if we're going to get to to which Sandy replies, no, actually. Did you guys catch the moment? All right, so I don't know if we're going to get to where we relive the Matt and Lexi drama with the look back. Well, yeah. First, they talk about how the producers had to intervene that night. Okay, yeah, that too. But did you catch the other line with Matt through in there with the producers? He said the production was feeding him drinks,

and that's why he behaved the way it's like matt matt matt well no so um he he was talking about that specific day when they went on that uh to those waterfalls and he said that the company they were with kept feeding him drinks it's astute i don't know why i needed to correct that at all but essentially he took no ownership extreme nor soft ownership over anything really he just said that he was a victim of the spangalis trying to make something happen that was a thing he has no agency over his behavior no that was a thing we kind of just like flew over when it happened during the episode when he was drinking and he had that gun to his head. Yeah, right.

Why didn't we discuss that? I know. We should have. It was weird. All right. So, yeah, just a Glock. If you pause it, and we encourage everybody to watch the episodes two, three times, go back. You'll see the Glock pointing out of the stage left.

I'm going to go out on a limb to say we were remiss not to mention that okay so we also find out that the producers had to step in from uh for alexi to prevent her from physically assaulting her co-workers further and then we also talk about how alexi claimed that or or the the i'm all over the place the crew claims that lexi actually got a good edit i've had in my head all season malia's impression of lexi a fucking duck hand it's it's like i can hear it yeah so specific yeah no malia had a good season um none of this is surprising though because we've talked about it lexi is a ninth circle of hell demon um i wish you nothing but the best nothing but only because you could ruin

lives so be i hope she becomes a better person or grows up or some emotional intelligence or something because she's a nut bag right um. All right. So a nut bag. Super sad moment with Courtney, who is a drunk angel. Andy asks if she sympathizes with Alexi. She says, obviously she does, but also in no way, shape or form, because her father is in a home and has no idea who she is. And I would never even come close to behaving that way um courtney angel lexi demon courtney's like don't lash out drink until you're

incapacitated yeah exactly be an adult okay so matt has asked about lexi at this point um we already talked about that malia had it um right on when we're talking about lexi's excuses for her cut or her edit she says that it's pretty typical for someone who behaved like a fucking demon on the show to pretend that production hated them if you don't give people the ammunition to give you a bad edit then you don't have a problem but and that's an oversimplification sure you can mess up one or two times and they'll skewer you for it you'll go to knock on a door to try and have sex with a girl in the bunk next to you and they'll they'll have three shots of you knocking a door and make it look like you went back exactly that's how they can screw with you.

You screaming at someone's face in their face and waving your fist at them, they can't make that up. Right. That happened. No, that's just real life right there. Yes. That's what reality television is. You acting like a demon and them having the tallies on for it. So, I don't want to talk about Lexi anymore.

There's so much stuff, but let's get to Delaney. Let's get to a deckhand. Below deck's brief stew. That was money. That was money. Actually was, but then we had, she was playing a game of crucible chairs. Bad, not money.

Bad. They asked why Matt was such a bitch about Delaney the entire time. Why my bad back? He was really the main catalyst for her getting fired. Katie wouldn't have fired her if she wasn't incessant,

just constantly berated by Matt over this entire thing. Courtney was a little pissed off, but she was nothing more than a little mopey for a day or two. Matt was just nonstop with it. And I guess, you know, his response was that... He said, I didn't walk off the boat twice.

He said, one time I actually had a medical issue. I only left once. Right, but what did that have to do with delaney because they had pointed out that he left twice because they were like hey matt you you got to stay on the boat right no one threw you off and look at your behavior yeah exactly god this guy god this guy um delaney is shit on quite a bit here. Oh, yeah, for no reason. They just spin her around and spit in her face. I mean, it's just crazy that they're, like, raking her over the coals for this CV thing. I get it, but let's not pretend that she's getting hired onto, like, a C-suite team with no experience. The point of the show is to subject the wealthy to incompetence. She is incompetent.

So this has happened so many times. Delaney's only crime was trying to infiltrate a very tight-knit improv group. They're nerdy people that got really close and they were super mean to her, even though she's also just perfectly nerdy and weird and would fuck them, the nerds, idiots. Speaking of uh they kept the gold goose out of the castle speaking of nerds lloyd service just goes out and this is where we're like all right is this even a fucking show

like lloyd service is going out malia's like hey i gotta go do anchor it's just like they barely got to 60 minutes there we we also like go into this thing with where we talk about sandy's relationship with malia and all the hre stuff who cares i have no one i said don't care i'm more concerned about courtney passing out yeah so the more the most entertaining part of the show was courtney getting defensive about how she was blackout um she's like it's just water honey it's like yeah honey but it was it was prefaced with a bottle of rose that you took to the face uh she's honestly should look out for the smiley face killer that night 100 don't ever visit Wisconsin. That syndicate is expanding over the Pacific. Or they.

We end with Sandy. She was proud of everyone being responsible about COVID. Guys, we don't want to end with a whimper, but that is what we done got from Bravo. And nothing about Split. Matt just brags that, Oh, I saw everybody. We went to a bracelet store, some fucking stupid. Don't bring it up if you're not going to talk about it, idiot.

All right. So television guys, it's next week. Below Deck, right? Yeah. Next week, we will be back with Below Deck, Greg. No break for us. No rest for the wicked. And guys, that is just what we are.

If you jump in the iTunes radio, you can leave us five stars and kind words. That would be absolutely fantastic. We will do a better job of reading all of your kind words throughout the season. I'm excited to have Captain Lee back. Yeah, me too. Studio with us. Absolutely. And if you want to hear more of us, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network.

All of our Below Deck Sailing content is there there it's our favorite version of this show but alas we will be back next week with captain lee's voyage with the cooper troopers or what are their cooter troopers sorry sorry next week um we love you guys for supporting us all season plug some just like seven more things. Find us on Facebook. It's just a wonderful group of baby barnacles there. Do we want to do our IG handles? Or should we just go? I was joshing.

All right, I'm Dylan. Say goodbye. Nick, say goodbye. Bon voyage. That's a goodbye. That's my sign out now. It's my daughter. Oh, that's so lame.

Don't do that again. Goodbye. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm