Kill James Bond! - Simple Chuck | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S3 E3

Episode Date: March 9, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to about steak, Chuck, omelets, women's food, getting kicked off of flights, pins, Glenn's attention to detail, how gender doesn't exist, jugs and even more Bravo's Below Deck. Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Sailing seasons 1 & 2 AND Love is Blind Season 2.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetworkVideo of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqwMerch: AnotherMerchStore.comGo to MagicMind.co and use promo code GLENN for 25% OFFGo to AthleticGreens.com/BelowDeck to take control of your health! 

There's black and blue. There's rare. There's medium rare. There's medium. There's medium well and well done. I like middle square. There is no such thing as medium plus. I don't know what coked out friend told you that one night at your house

drawing up business plans for the fucking law firm, but it's not a thing. I love super halfway. So Cindy says that this isn't women's food what is that cindy what is women's food a packet of stevia what are you talking about this fucking idiot doesn't even know gender doesn't exist Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys. Patreons of the podcast is over there behind my glasses.

Permission to come aboard. Permission granted. We've got to get into some public service announcements. Below deck, Dan Anda is on the horizon. Yeah, it debuts March 17th. On Peacock. Peacock, that's right. So enjoy it.

And if you want to hear us enjoy it with you in your ears, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. We're covering Love is Blind season two there. We have Below Deck Sailing Out seasons past there. We also have the upcoming coverage of the ultimatum, the next reality show from the brilliant minds who do really nothing, Nick and Vanessa Lachey. People that made Love is Blind, Dylan. show from the brilliant minds who do really nothing, Nick and Vanessa Lachey.

Well, people that made Love is Blind tell it. And also, since it's past the first of the month, you should just- Nick and Vanessa Lachey. I don't think they made Love is Blind. They just show up three times. Idiots. Now, as you can see, everyone's been in Mexico. Now we're going to leave Mexico.

Thanks, Nick. Because we produced this and created this show right since it's past the first of the month you should just not wait till the Peacock version of Below Deck Down Under starts and you should sign up now because we have quite the back catalog

that'll keep you going two seasons of Below Deck also PMZ just a lot of great stuff over there so we gotta get into into thoughts and knots. Can I do a pretty crazy thing and go first? Yeah, go ahead. I don't think that's crazy at all, Dylan. All right.

So this episode was good. Yes. And why do you think it was good, Dylan? Well, we often talk about, well, you know, hold your horses there. I didn't use great and I didn't say excellent. And I've given no pots. So please. Forgive me. I'm curious what he meant. You didn't say excellent and I've given no pots so please forgive me I'm curious what he meant you didn't like this uh the episode was good and it was good because we often talk about

one of the most important pieces to a juicy juicy episode that being someone that we hate. But hating Chuck the way I did fills me with a kind of darkness that I don't love about myself. It's kind of like, you know how Venom's like ectoplanets? It's like all crawly and dark, but it's in my heart and my mind, and it feels very, very yucky.

I don't want to go into my Thanos. Some people need to be non-existent kind of thing because then people will think I'm a sociopath. But Chuck is a prime candidate for that kind of utopia. I'll call him Simple Chuck a couple of times throughout the episode because the man has serious mental problems. He's one of the worst human beings we've seen on this show. Hate watched it. Good, not great. Because of Simple Chuck for POTS. Pat. Thank you. Alright, so Dylan, what I was trying to point out before you made your point was that

what makes a great episode is someone you hate. Someone you despise. Goodbye, Sutter. Right. You hated Chuck. Hated. Okay. How could you feel any other emotion i'm sorry i wasn't with there with you when he like said something that you should have said and you're like i said it yeah because he did say that usually he hates chuck yeah well i hate chuck as well um the

preference i think he's a horrible person the only break I can give him is I hope he was on crystal meth. I hope for his sake, he has a bad drug problem. And that's why he behaved that way. Because if he isn't on drugs and that is who Chuck is, then I'll snap. He needs to be loaded into an air cannon and launched into a tank. No, no, that's too easy for him.

A tank of great white sharks and eaten alive for all of our enjoyment. Okay, thank you. Chuck is horrible. I want to say, Nick, before I... And I want to say... Take your time. I know it's your thoughts and nots,

but really quickly, can I say I have not wanted to talk to a charter guest this badly in a long, long time. I'm glad you brought that up. If we can bag Chuck. We're all on the same page. Oh my God.

Damn it. God, we got to talk to Chuck. This is too easy. We spoke to Erica Rose, I believe like a year ago. Nick, I think you have. Are you reading my thoughts and not? All right, hold on.

I'll keep it brief. Now you know how he felt. She seemed like a decent person. Lovely. It was a nice interview, mainly because the last time she was on this show, she actually had a fellow guest member that was hateable. And so I think we spent a lot more time on another annoying co-charter guest. It was Yellow Jackets before Yellow Jackets was a thing.

Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. But I want to talk to Erica Rose again. I need to get to the bottom of this. I need to understand who her husband is. Nick, are you on the case? 80 knots. Throw to Nick.

We're all on the same page. We watch these shows to feel, and I feel extreme hatred for this man. I am often one of the people that box at Dylan trying to kill anybody who's not picked up their dog poop or whatever. Come on. I think both of your respective punishments

for Chuck are too kind. I would actually like to hold his windpipe with my own two hands and actually see the life fall out of him. And I've never thought that before.

Can you imagine if Erica Rose is listening to this? That's what I was going to say. I'm going to get on the case, but it's got to be before this episode drops because she will not talk to us.

I actually want to get Chuck on and pretend like we want to be buddy-buddy with him and be like, hey, I can't believe production made you look like shit, and then we all just fucking unload on him. We'll do the same thing we always do. Man, what a bad edit you've got. Want to tell your story?

And then, Chuck's a piece of shit, Chuck's a piece of shit. I can't remember, but i hate this guy oh oh what i was thinking was like so erica wasn't married last year right i don't think so and when we talked to her she did one of those things that often happens we like the berries now we're like oh he's not that bad yeah we liked erica we were like okay that makes sense she's kind of like intentionally prissy for like but if you marry this guy and then he better his dad better to own an island someplace no it's not that because he was boasting about $15 crab legs like this guy is he's not super well Erica Erica Erica is not we talked Erica Rose and we got to get into 85

pots we talked erica rose she was fine okay she's a god i hope they don't listen but she's just she's l woods if l woods wasn't smart so i'm just saying uh she sucks um but she's nowhere near as bad as her mother or chuck i mean she looks like an angel sitting next to those two we got plenty of time to talk about it let's get into it so last we left off we had two youngsters feuding in the galley tom has made it very clear that his ire towards ashley is about her condescending to him and has nothing to do with the fact that she will not throw him a bone. He's just very, very disrespected.

He's not frustrated because he can't have sex with her. Well, he's got kind of a point here because Ashley and those ginormous jugs are being kind of ageist right now. Tom wants to see those jugs, but he won't because he barfed on night one and he's too young. But this doesn't prevent him from uh flipping out on

poor ashley and her jugs until 2 45 a.m the the word jugs is so um piggish but it's also it has a a whim genesee yeah a certain genesee yeah love it so uh tom walks into the bunks and he's all worked up uh about you know the disrespect and whatnot and the sea dog sees all you know he goes do you like this girl or something what's wrong with you why are you so pissed off about this to me this was more of an embarrassment than what tom did night one i mean just looking like such a little bitch. You want Ashley, Tom? Fuck that weird one. All right?

Oh. Ashley. Whoa. Oh, yeah. She's weird. I did not. I have a weird. She's on the show. Yeah.

Just call it a weird one. But also, you guys are falling into the Gary trap, which is just so. Oh, come on, mate. It's so indicative of white male patriarchy privilege. Uh-huh well so i think kelsey's too kooky and too smart to have sex with tom gary's speaking to him like him fucking ashley and him fucking kelsey is a given there's a whole other variable in this equation stop recommending that people should just have sex with one another because there has to be a mutual agreement. Thank you for specifying. You're welcome.

But I would like people who have listened to us do maybe 11 seasons of this to know that's implied. Tom, attempt to have fucked a weird one. All right. And if you do succeed in fucking the weird one, then Ashley, with her giant jugs, will come crawling towards you. I'm sorry. I'm worked up. It's all right. You're a passionate man.

No, no, no. It's absolutely fine. I can't... What is that? I can't grab my... My player is right in between the television and the laptop. It's on the edge of desire right here,

and I can't get to it. Quit. Quit it. All right. Well, I'm trying to get our ads up, but I can't freaking get it. All right. So we got to move on to next morning. Next morning.

All the sea rats are hung over. And I'd say the sea rats continue to drink in excess despite going against their better judgment. And I'd say, come on, sea rats. But who am I kidding? It's what they do it's it's essentially why you get a job on a boat yeah and a huge suspects type twist they wake up and they are in the throes of alcohol poisoning and have an entire day of work to get to so uh we get that classic morning drunk talk recapping the night and it's usually fun but today it centers around the quarrels of these two

children so um i feel really bad for marcos in this situation because he has to listen ashley spin down by ashley and this is a man who has seen some shit he had to flee his home country because he botched a hit and now um well and also he had to listen to tom the night before talk about this and this man has real stories stories of war and blood and having sex with seven female co-workers on one charter which is a lie well hold on i think it's true i think he's good looking and i think he puts out that fucking big dick energy now hold on you got. You got ahead of yourself. First off, I want to get to the- That was a lot. I'm sorry.

My tongue was just moving. So Ashley confides in Marcos, and she doesn't want to fuck Tom, and that's all fine. But she tries to get advice from Marcos. But the first time we hear from the weird one, the weird one speaks, and she gives some solid advice about the issue. I love this nickname so much. She thinks the two of them should just bang it out yeah i might ask great advice he rat i'm actually honored right now the king of nicknames has never acclimated so quickly to a nickname i have a weird one

all right all right all right let's get to marcos uh how we weave that tale of banging seven, an entire boat, a female crew. And he didn't get caught until the last night. Until last night when they all started drinking and talking. And by the way, it hearkened a movie to me, which was a remake that I recently saw on a plane. It's called The Beguiled, starring Nicole Kidman. I forget whoever else in it it's about a civil war uh soldier who gets injured and taken into a house a kind of an orphanage of sorts oh that's right played by colin uh colin farrell farrell yeah he ends up banging like half the house then

they kill him right now they cut his fucking leg off that's what they do to you that's what they do that's how they operate dude never bang an entire uh boat of women they'll cut your leg off that's what they do to you that's what they do that's how they operate dude never bang an entire boat of women they'll cut your leg off i i'm i'm concerned that we're not coming off as big enough allies tonight i have a sneaking concern about it i have a sneaking suspicion that's what they do that marcos that's how they operate that marcos had to flee his country because of a similar type situation. I know the boat was not the situation. Beguiled Marcos was.

Damn it, I had a couple good things. The reason why I don't think that this is, I think that it's at best hyperbolic is because they found out on the last night there was an embargo on any kind of talk about how they were all fucking the same person for a month two months and then on the last night they were like hey who have you guys been having sex with the one guy on boat maybe he was on boat here here's the reason i think it's uh he was sneaky at most hyperbolic. We've heard this story before. Jake did it on a boat. Right. I think this happens.

All you have to do is be outnumbered. And the fact that he can cook, I bet every night he's making a new dessert. Thank you. You made my point for me. Your point was that if you do this, your leg will be amputated. He didn't make that point. All right. We move on that was my subtext still um you know i i've moped about it but there's this line of advice going around you know just banging out um and i would just say that's bad advice don't don't you know keep telling him to force the issue that got him in this sticky situation in the first place

maybe everyone chill on the two 23-olds having to fuck one another. But maybe don't. I think, actually, all those people that are giving that advice agree with you, Dylan. But these millennial puppeteers are playing with their Gen Z toys. Right. And they're like, yeah, fuck her, fuck her. Yeah, 100%. All right, so we have got to move on to horror striking.

Gary, Daisy, and Marcos. But before we do, let's take a little break to talk about. Are you fucking kidding me? He did it off mic. It's just so disrespectful. He did it off mic. It's just so disrespectful. He gets up from this couch and just waltzes over like he owns the place or something and then belches in the back.

It's just disgusting. Why are your shoulders so droopy, huh? You feel defeated today? All right. So, guys, Magic Mind is a hell of a drug. What did you say we were going to get to next before we get to our flagship spot? The shock and horror of Daisyays daisy gary and marcos shock and horror daisy gearing the preference sheet meeting oh okay yeah but before we get there let's talk about magic it's just making sure

sorry we're gonna guys magic mind is a hell of a drug um although drug is a word that is applicable, but also not, it's more holistic than that. It's more spiritual than that. It is not Celsius. It is not Adderall. It is not bang. Honestly, the word drug, it's, it's kind of like, uh, the R word, uh, uh, the definition accurate, the connotation, not what we're looking for when we're trying to sell magic mind, this anti-procrastination drink, once

daily shot. So once daily shot, it's got echinacea, it's got matcha, it's got lion's mane, it's got nine other magnificent ingredients that will give you a zen-focused hum that will propel you throughout your day. Guys, you've heard us talk about it so many times before. It's an influencer drink now.

Do you want to be like Kanye West? He drinks it every single day. That's why he's so stable. Go to magicmind.co, enter in promo code GLEN2N to get 25% off and free shipping. Everybody says part four of Con Jesus that's about to drop is actually just pretty much an hour infomercial for Magic Mind. Yeah, so Netflix is on board. We we're on board you get on board all the big platforms all the big platforms and lupita i mean everybody knows about lupita um what promo

code did we give glenn cool cool cool yeah so do that because a bunch of people still this season have been using lee and i think it's because of my mistake episode one and it's not giving us credit. So if you already bought this season with promo code Lee, buy it again. Maybe go in incognito mode so they're not like, oh, you're not a first time buyer. Sure.

And you could say, oh, perhaps they're asking too much of us. But no, just take a chill pill. Take a magic bite. All right. We got to get to the Preference Schematic!

Yeah! Erica Rose. Well, well, well. Reverse that. I'm gonna look her up on Instagram. Attorney and mother of two. Back with her mom, Cindy Rose. If you guys recall recall we discussed it but i'm

i'm talking to our listeners they were actually on last season and i always like to do this when we get repeat guests let's revisit last season's preference sheet meeting oh yeah that would be great erica rose started out as a tv star but has since started her own law firm and became a mother of two. So she's been with fucking whatever his name is for a while. Yep. Chuck, Erica's mom, Cindy Rose, is an event planner and former food critic. She's incredibly particular about her food and table decor. Jess Somato, Erica's best friend and director of the prestigious East Coast School, helped get this group of ladies together.

Joining Erica, Cindy, and Jess is Cindy's good friend Myra, a licensed realtor and investor, Mandy, an event planner who is always ready to party, and her roommate Keely, a real estate agent who detests gluten. Also coming aboard is Beyonce, a business owner, and her best friend Jennifer. These trimaries are ready for a gal's trip of a lifetime. Their top request is to be pampered and given a steady stream of mixed drinks and champagne. They also hope the chef can make their life easy

by having a variety of options available for them to nosh on. Nosh, yeah. This was, of course, last year, if anybody's confused. We're taking the time machine back to last year's preference day two they they wanted to paddleboard to do paddleboard yoga and in the late afternoon go on a tender excursion to go snorkeling in the evening amazing they thought they had the equilibrium for paddleboard yoga they wanted uh to have a mermaid mariners and pirate themes dinner and ask for see i'm reading my preference sheet and present tense but i'm in

my head i'm trying to put it in past that's a very tough putt on three, explore a local secluded beach and have a lunch picnic set up for them. And they also want to finish off the charter with a women's empowerment and celebration dinner. That's right. And that one girl wore her Trump bikini and it was ta-tas for Trump. Right. But this year,

this new group of guests expect to experience the luxury and adventure of sailing in the Mediterranean. They have Halal, Hale, Hale. I think it's Hale. H-A-L-H-E is the woman's name. So who are we making fun of right now? Janelle and Rhett, a married couple. Hallelujah.

Susan. That's good. That's a good mnemonic device. He died, drowned. Susan. That's good. That's a good mnemonic device. Hallelujah. He died. Drowned. He drowned that singer. So what do we got next?

Do you think he sang as he was going down? No, his father also drowned. Well, that doesn't. And that concludes random bummer facts with Pat Hickey. Eric and her mom request to divide the master. Eric expects a higher level of, my mouth is so dry. This is my worst preference you've seen ever. I think it's going well.

No, I hate it. You do? Yeah, he's doing so bad. I'm talking like a child who's learning to read. It's like I got called on and I was sitting in the back of the class with my head down. We'll round it out with our itinerary, which is. Yeah, I did that one time in college. I had a professor who was talking about

how globalism was the only way forward, and he criticized anybody else for even thinking differently. And after class, I went up to him and I said, you know, I didn't like your lecture today. I thought it was very narrow. And the next class, he called on me, told me to speak up in front of like 200 people I just completely shut down

He was like, I talked to the student after class Who was that? I was just like, he challenged you Yeah, he did And I caved Wait, did he actually say Dylan? Oh, did we just hit a speed bump? No, I'm intrigued at this story

This is the most Dylan story I've ever heard in my career Not that you backed off But that you approached him after class the first time and you're like i didn't like that but uh did he say dylan or he said there was a student that talked to me there was a student that talked to me and you just didn't answer just didn't answer he was like try that again motherfucker uh itinerary requests on night one that was even close the primary has requested a surprise dinner toast to her husband celebrating the success of their law firm the guests are requesting a steak and scotch dinner party with maroon and cherry colored decorations after dinner they

have requested a sexy loungewear party with cocktails and a touch of butterfly decorations on day two the guests would like an early morning yoga session in the deck they love yoga followed by a booty brunch party on the beach they would also like the option for water sports throughout the day on night two for dinner the guests would like to celebrate cindy and greg's birthday party still fab still fkn fucking still fucking fabulous and sexy they want a and now we start to get real blurry it's it's the depth of field of the my screen they wanted a decades party right like 80s i think no it was like so it was like going through the we'll see it we'll see it next episode but they want a party that celebrates their last 30 years or something. Or their next 30 years.

Does that conclude the preference you're meaning? And I really would love to just strangle the life out of Chuck. And that concludes the preference you mean. That's a personal preference. It ends with a bang, not a whimper. Now, Nick, while you were doing that, I found out what Chuck does for a living. Did you say what he did for a living?

He robs people blind. You also started a business and climbed Mount Everest. That one took too long. I'm sorry. He's an attorney as well. And they work together. Yeah, they started a law firm. They're celebrating their success of their law firm.

Oh, Jesus Christ. What are they lying? I'll bring this up. What are they lying? Yeah, I'll bring this up in a bit. Who would hire them after watching them on this show? I would like to ask. Yeah, it's like when Ed Asner walked into that law firm on curbing enthusiasm on casual friday and that guy

was wearing a canadian tuxedo he's like what the fuck is this you want me to trust my money with you yeah i love i got a lot of money in this will okay you're dressed like a fucking cowboy after the preference sheet ends uh daisy tells tells the interior how annoying the charter guests are. And I was thinking, you know, how mean that is to shred people on TV that are about to pay for a vacation $60,000 a day. I didn't like that. But next we move to Tom and Gary catching up.

And they're talking about Ashley's vagina and deciding on who will get it. Very much like you decide the last slice of pizza. Yeah. No, you have it. I'm full. No, you have it. I'm full.

You have it. Yeah, it's cool because that slice has no agency. You know what I mean? What's up with your past? Nervous cough. Okay. In Wisconsin, that last piece just sits there until the next morning. No one fucks Ashley at all.

All right. So, yes. I don't find her attractive. I know. Who cares what I think? She looks like Nick Cage. Anyways, Daisy heads up, like you mentioned, to tell the girls that I think she's the most beautiful woman who's ever been. Okay.

See, we are not monolithic. So she tells them, like, be prepared. You're going to be cleaning up after filth for the next three days. Do not lose faith in humanity. Provisions are called for and sofa covers are squeezed on. That's when we have the very old boys conversation between Gary and Tom. And this is when we get to the apology. Now he goes down and, you know, attempts sincerity, but he's 23 and he's trying to keep hope alive.

Well, he's feeling her out. Do I still have a shot? Right. Is it too late to say I'm sorry? This is my sorry for 2004. Alright, so C-Rat work continues and that is when Gabby heads upstairs to see that the entire

bar is still filled with the things that she told Ashley to throw away. Now, she heads downstairs and really turns the flames up quite a away. Now, she heads downstairs and really turns the flames up quite a bit. Pat, do you have a transcript? Well, first off, she goes... Can you have a transcript?

No, I didn't get the transcript. I just watched the episode like a couple hours ago. Got it, got it. I requested it. Right, no, but it takes 48 hours. Yeah. Sometimes 24. What a world we've built.

But Gabby confides with Gary, and Gary says something to her. Apparently it appeases her or something. I don't know. I don't want to say Gabby's being a little TV here, but I think she wanted her little dust up here because it gets resolved pretty quickly. She realized she needs to apologize to Ashley. Sure.

She says she's learned a lot about this and tries to explain her reasoning behind why she came at Ashley so hard. Yeah, and you have a transcript? Well, yeah. Ashley says, well, I don't give a fuck. I don't like you. I think I want your job. Yeah.

And then Gabby says, exactly. I knew you wanted my job. That's why you're talking to me about that. And this is the first real dust up. And anyway, such good hosting. All right. So, yeah. Dance monkey dance.

Yes. Really. We have to talk about this Gary Gabby thing really quickly because there's stuff in this. But first, we get to what are becoming my favorite moments of the show when we get to know a little bit more about the weird one they're these shots that are just like let's get to know kelsey she's like oh i don't eat fish and they just cut back put someone sabotage her onto this show somebody do something because she seems fun

uh but yes so gabby is talking with gary now i wondered if you guys picked up on this thing yeah what's up just so i know where we are have we've we've moved past gabby and ashley there uh yeah we moved past the the dust up but um but not the crazy pants over here got to their conversation okay yeah it was well it was the next thing that happened in the show dude was it or is it gary gabby's all over the place he's fucking he sneaked a little bit of cannabis while we weren't looking he's fucking high as a kite right now see i didn't sneak any cannabis i explicitly took it so i'm always i'm confused i'm thinking i'm confused yeah no don't worry he's i've been trying he's slamming you

right over the head with a gas lamp all right which is a great saying so um gary does this move that i was wondering if you guys picked up on and oh he did and he does it in a way that's like but you guys aren't there yet though because you've only known each other for like two or three days and i feel like he's just trying to keep every orifice around him open to him at all times it's a it's a it's a buckshot it's called spinning plates dear you gotta stop i don't think we need tom tonight okay spinning plates though is when you already have achieved your goal and you want to keep them all going necessarily what he's doing he's in like a a secret mansion and he knows there's a secret door around right

and he just keeps like checking yeah all the different bricks keep pulling down on books but but if we get to charter four or five he's just gonna be like fucking tossing dictionaries out and and he's he's gonna i don't know have sex with somebody um. Yeah, that's what I meant. That's what I meant. Gabby goes to have a sit down with Ashley. It's a tough one to break down because while Gabby, I don't think should be telling her what to do as much as she has been. And she did fall asleep that one time she was supposed to come on the show.

Ashley is a fucking demon. Yeah. A fucking demon yeah a fucking demon um i don't know why she reminds me of nick cage perhaps i've seen that trailer for that new movie that's coming out with him which looks fantastic but she had just has a very like crazy kind of face-off energy here she freaks me out it and also in episode one when she went let's ride now i don't want to just say this uh i'm going to be on gabby little gabby's side because she's a friend of the show but i think ashley is uh being a complete bitch here what a brave take i i i thought it was like a genius tactic she she just like to her face was

like let's go to war bitch but she was the one that really was it let's go to war bitch but she was the one that was approached so she's like you want to do this we're doing this have you seen these she she showed her her job. She showed the job. She pointed with her thumb. So let's get to the next day. Next day. To literally no one's surprise, these fucking pieces of trash got thrown off their flight to their vacation.

I was a little confused here. It turned out to just be Cindy, I think. The mom. The mom. Yeah, it was kind of confusing, but Glenn reads with glee that one of the primaries got tossed. Yeah. You're not going to believe this. I can't believe this guy.

But yeah, these people were stealing an omelet. Yeah. These people would get thrown off an airplane because these are dumb people. The people who have zero emotional intelligence. So they flare up and they do things like get themselves kicked off of airplanes. But yeah, so there's more to this story and we're going to get to. We'll dive into it.

No 68 year old gets tossed off a plane for sneaking up to eat some food. She was probably a little mouthy. We'll get to it when Erica. We don't need to. I guess we can talk about it now. But yeah, they're lying yeah they're 1000 lying oh i guarantee i'm sure this was the impetus she walked up she's like i know these people in first class yeah i'm gonna sit down we're gonna have a chat i'm gonna have

some of this um right right right did you guys see the uh title of the Below Deck episode? No. I'ma Let You Finish, which is a funny pun and a Kanye West reference. That's him jumping on stage, interrupting Taylor Swift. I'ma Let You Finish. I'm a Kanye West. It's a Kanye West reference.

That's pretty good. Something there, yeah. So we must move on to the luxury partition being set up. Fear not. Colin has given them a roll of tape and um they are going to you know make this a real luxury vacation uh gabby and gary sitting in a tree um spelling out talking about uh them all right fucking one another it's just too long and it's not cute. Hold on! What? You missed this! What? You both watched this episode and no

one texts me. He makes a joke and then Gabby says Gary likes to fill holes. What have we been talking about on this franchise for three years? Filling holes in balls of snakes?

Flipping tabbies. Sucking, fucking, and filling holes. Why did the barnacles not catch it? No. Gabby said Gary fills holes.

Right. I'm disappointed in everyone right now. Gabby, little Gabby, you tell us. If you threw that in there as a little wink and nod to your favorite podcast. You're calling little Gabby? That's her Instagram handle. Oh, okay.

So the partition is done. The room now looks like the back of an adult video store. The final touch is a door, but fear not, Gary has a box cutter in his hand for that. So Tom and Kelsey are set to, they're told to go dry a transom door. And this is stupid and boring, but it does give us an insight into the fact that while Tom has some funnies and he's capable of some funnies,

is he a petulant little piece of shit? Oh yeah. He's a petulant little piece of shit. Is he a petulant little asshole? I think both Ashley, piece of shit oh yeah he's a petulant little piece of shit is he a petulant little asshole i think uh both ashley despite how diabolical and i think correctly she handled the situation with gary are both highlighting the differences in generation i felt like an old man i was like shut the fuck up tom and listen to your superior oh my gosh dude i'm i'm slipping into that too we'll talk about it on aps but i had to interact with a child the other day.

By that you mean a 21. Yeah. Like 21, 22. And he had fucked something up in the excuses. I was just like, you're becoming the man that you would even think to write that and then send it. It's just insane.

Dylan, you're the man. All right. So is this, is this something that's like, uh, you wouldn't want? Because I would love to hear like.

No, we've been going too long. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not on this episode. I'm also trying to wrap it up on a future APS. I'd love to dive in further. Yeah. No, I would love to do that. So Glenn hops up and sees that the transom and the dinghy poles or whatever the fuck they're called are not clean.

This man has an eye for detail and you have to be in his line of work, which is slaying prostitutes. So the charter guest arrived. I just felt in this moment that this was highlights how much better Glenn is than Lee or Sandy. He only makes a stink when it's needed. And I think the message received quit throwing up in my fucking bathroom and clean the transom you idiots and one could think that he because he's hands off that would make him not hands-on but that's not a paradox that exists with glenn he is both hands-off and hands-on at the same time he knows every single fucking nut and screw on that boat

so i would say it is a paradox that exists so the charter guests arrive chuck says every time i get angry my tip will be affected now we joke about having the whiteboard and having the tear away sheets to keep track of the tip but hey to break it to you we're kidding yeah yeah for this man to say the quiet part out loud um i just wanted to be dropped in a desert somewhere to see if he can make it back and if he can't you know it was in god's hands not ours because we gave him a bottle of gatorade and a cliff bar now obviously if he's in the desert, you can't see the life of his body. Every time you get angry, the tip will be affected. That's how tips work. You dumb

whiny little child, man. Dylan, can I jump in here? I'm just meeting at this point in the show. I took some notes. I'm like, I don't want to attack this guy because I thought maybe he's a little off. He's a bragger.

He has no self-awareness. Neurodivergent. He's a little annoying. Yeah. And I was thinking, you know, at this point, maybe you should wear a backpack with a leash on it. A million percent. And quite possibly a helmet. Simple chuck.

So Erica rolls in. She thinks that she is on first name nickname kind of hugging terms with everyone yeah she booked the uh the charter last year yeah this is the delusions of the rich they absolutely hate you the new rich oh that daisy was talking shit about you five minutes ago so they hate you they hate you so her husband simple chuck starts sulking around like an angry fat kid with no friends, talking about how he's going to get a bigger boat one day. I don't like a spaget. No, Chuck, what's going to happen is you're going to go broke

because whatever fraudulent business you're running is going to be completely just demolished, and you're going to pay for the crimes you've committed. He's going to be swimming in debt, and he's going to be like, we're going to need a smaller boat. All right, so Erica makes me really sad. And again, they hate you. Don't tell people you don't know that you're going to fuck your fedora rat of a husband. Nobody wants to hear this, okay?

And that's when we get to the story of Erica's poor mother who was served complimentary yogurt instead of an omelet in business class. Now, by the way, where is the solidarity here between Erica and Simple Chuck and the water witch, whatever her fucking mom's name is? Ursula. Yeah, Ursula. Yes, Ursula is the water witch, so we will her fucking mom's name is. Ursula. Yeah. Yes. Ursula is the water,

which so we will call her Ursula moving forward. Um, if my wife and I were flying with my mother and there were two upgrades, um, my wife and my mother would get them or no one would get them. It says a lot about Chuck. Yeah. If no one would get them, that would be a failure

on everybody's part if you're offered two free ones you're sitting business you're sitting business not first class yeah yeah yeah you're sitting business those two but don't give them away because you guys can't fuck you guys are gonna split the baby in half no no no I'm giving

them away because I'll not sit with my wife while my 64 year old mother is in the back. I would never do that. And if you know, the only way would be if I was in the back. That's it. That's the only way it's happening. I thought you were saying you would offer them and then you would give them away because there were only two and you guys couldn't decide amongst yourself.

Now I understand. Yeah. You never had them in the first place. Never had them in the first place. Never had them in the first place. So the story seems like a complete full-blown fabrication. Chuck says that he woke up from one of his bouts of Z's and drooling that he has, and all of a sudden there were just three armed cops there,

all because she just took a couple bites of his omelet. Yeah, because that's how it works. That's how it works. I don't even know the cool hip prescription anxiety shit that people take before they get on planes, but I have no doubt that Chuck was out like a light and Ursula thought she could definitely take that whole omelet without him knowing. Right, right, right.

What she was worried about is... You know what I think happened? The stews. I think Chuck called the cops on her. No, he was out like a light because he took all those drugs. No, I think he was up. He was on a little bit of Ativan. I think that's what people take. And he was pissed that she had tried to eat his food. I gotta figure

out how these fools have money. Because they're pretty dumb dumb and everyone that meets them must hate them like America watched last night. We all hate you. I was thinking that exact same thing. Like they're wealthy, but they're profoundly stupid

and they're extremely unlikable. And two qualities you need to have to accrue a good amount of wealth. Or maintain it. Or maintain it is intelligence and being able to work with other human beings. Yes. They lack neither.

They have none of those things. I would bet a significant amount of money, nevermind my gambling problem, that Chuck's dad is a powerful, powerful lawyer. Right. There's no other answer. I don't want to get too much into this because we've gone long,

but he does reek of many L.A. children that are now in their 30s living this life that are pieces of shit that have no self-awareness. But he's in his late 40s. Is he really? So it's much worse. Oh, wow. He's older than me. He doesn't look as good as me, I'll tell you that right now.

Go ahead, Nick. You look great. Ew. I don't have as good as me, I'll tell you that right now. Go ahead, Nick. You look great. Ew. I don't have anything to say. Ew. I'm going to reserve my comments going forward for absolute fire. Okay, okay. Because we have gone long.

I'm going to pee now even to let you guys. Don't pee. Are we even close? No, we got to spend time on dinner. We're not even close. All right right go pee so chuck is speaking of how peaceful he is and once again i wish he did not exist so um they go sailing and we heal of course and maybe i'm a little hot because of uh chuck but this is the

only time i've ever been upset with glenn i'm reaching the point where I'm like, what are you doing, dude? Can we stop fucking doing this? Get the sails up. If you need to catch a little bit, then catch a little bit. But if you need to tilt the boat into the underworld, don't do it.

They just got on the boat. The chef is cooking food. People are having drinks. Announce over the speaker, we're going to go sailing in an hour right and this could cause uh i don't know you bleeding or glass to become grenades yeah give them time what it would this this willy-nilly anarchy well we've explained this story we know why he does it. Yes. So, Chuck goes down because who wants to hang out in the Spanish sun?

He goes down to bother Ashley and boasts about spending $250 on a dinner. Which, I don't know, I think this was the saddest part of Chuck and the most neurodivergent because

the lack of awareness to one, see how embarrassing you're being just talking to this, this girl and two to boast about $20. I mean, that's the hipsters who own tattoo shops and silver like spend that on a friday like what are you talking about it doesn't make sense that's why i gotta figure out look i actually don't want to talk to these people because i hate them i want to talk to chuck so bad all right well then we'll get them on the blower but um and i don't want you to be nice patrick so let's get to the transom door and more tom being a little uh little gen z shit bird um he's trying to open the transom door with uh

pins still in it when colin says um hey buddy what are you doing the pins are still in there. Now, crazy moment, but he talks back to the sea dog. It tells him to calm down, essentially. Not cool. I got to say it. The reason I think that happened, I got these pants yesterday from Target. I had worn the same jeans for about four years. I was so flexible in them.

New pants. Straight up. They're so tight. New pants. Straight up. They're so tight. Yeah, I went the other way. I ordered kind of balloon pants from Gap. They look absolutely ridiculous. I look like a lesbian landscaper in these. I mean, I have to do something about it.

I can't wear these in public. All right. So I was wondering if this guy was out of his mind talking back to the c-dog like this but the c-dog is the c-dog he handles this brilliantly um he's very mcconaughey about the whole thing and he brings him down and says you know hey what was going on with that he's just colin's cool such a good guy but he's also not a pushover because he said if this continues we're gonna have a problem yeah don't try to a break fifty thousand dollar doors and b play it off like it's not a fifty thousand dollar door so let's not do that anymore okay

uh so erica and simple chucker told about the. He flips out and says, Gazpacho sounds like a bunch of crap. We also see that Erica is very obviously trying to right the social media wrongs that she evidently committed by being too close to Trump merch last season. She is in a Joe Byron bikini now. So transparent. Makes me sick. So the grill. What?

They go down to tell Marco. Erica and I believe her mother. Don't they go? No, it definitely wasn't her mother. It was her friend. But they go down and they talk to Marcos about how gross his food sounds. Yeah, I'm fine with that. You know, broccoli mousse doesn't sound like

the most appetite uh appetizing thing um i'm sure it would be delicious if marco uh made it but marcos made it but after the the debrief he utters a truth that we've known for such a long time watching this show um the people that charter these boats mostly have trash pallets and know absolutely nothing i loved him talking a little smack yeah and dare i say you have to push this man this man against the wall for him to talk trash about you because i saw him on the last chart he bent over backwards to please those people uh these people are trash these people are trash so he's a giver he fucked like seven women on a bow all he cares about is other people's well-being sounds like some like uh aesop's fable like some fight it's like not the thing so gary and marcos

barter a little bit creme brulee from annual labor and then we get to dinner but before we do guys let's take a break to talk about a brand new sponsor our next partner has a product that i use literally every day i started taking athletic greens because they won't stop sending they sent us the most incredible packages of this stuff. I mean, guys, you want to get it for the branding alone. This stuff is sleek and sexy. And what it does for your body is it improves literally everything. I started taking it because I wasn't sure what was going on in my gut.

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and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash below deck. Again, that is athleticgreens.com slash below deck to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance so great read we must get to dinner cindy heads up in her mermaid dress uh she looks like a beautiful little water witch that is why we call her ursula so uh first up we've got a mushroom salad, truffle, and balsamic.

Chuck says this is the best salad I've ever eaten. Then we get to the ratatouille accompanied by potato gratin and steak. Now, Erica, surprisingly enough, isn't that bad here. She asked for no pink whatsoever, and that's trash, but that is what she wants. I will say, though, if you're going to waltz through the culinary world with this kind of insane requests requests make it sensical um medium plus is um it leaves a lot of room for interpretation i want average regular mean exactly um so there's a couple different types of cooks there's um black and blue there's rare there's medium rare there's medium there's medium well and well done i like middle square

there is no such thing as medium plus i don't know what coked out friend told you that one night at your house drawing up business plans for the fucking law firm but it's not a thing i love super halfway so um cindy says that this isn't women's food what is that cindy what is women's food a packet of stevia what are you talking about this fucking idiot doesn't even know gender doesn't exist so um chuck says it was one of the best meals he's ever had in his life. And then with the cadence of a short bus kind of guy says, I've had so much to drink. I couldn't get it up if I tried.

All right. So the sun rises and Marcos has, oh, 60 pots. Not that great of a dinner. Well, it wasn't his fault. It's what these. It wasn't his fault, but what these uh it wasn't his fault but this wasn't a great showing i mean it was salad steak and vegetables i know they have very limited uh horse palates but um you know there's it's a small sandbox but you can build up marcos

so um the sun rises and marcos has rosemary in his ear and the directive has been set. No breakfast and no lunch. As the preference sheet states explicitly, you will only need to cook at 11 o'clock. So fuck face five-year-old wakes up. Brian, believe it. I'm sorry. He's driven me to this point. And starts stomping around for food.

He wants an omelet, bacon, onions, and cheese. And he says it rather throw away-y. Like it doesn't matter. Just give me something. But remember, he is neurodivergent. So Daisy makes a grave error here in leaving it up to Marcos to experiment with the omelet's ingredients. Breakfast hits the table, including poached eggs and bacon uh for cindy women's food i guess um and simple chuck has hunched over um and he is melting down so

it's insane i actually blame the family for this if you're gonna bring the leash at any time do it when you're surrounded by the unforgiving ocean i mean this accident waiting to happen for simple chuck and if that's the case leave the leash at home let's see if he can swim um so this the backpack weighs him down it's filled with weights um daisy asks him if he wants another omelet he says absolutely slams his uh his knife and fork on the table now um while the other omelet is being prepared they kind of begin to shit talk and all this is fueled by the vapid demon cindy who says that the steak was disgusting and chuck agrees he's gone from top five best meals of his entire sad existence to underbite, clenched, and yelling about things being putrid. I mean, this guy is...

I do feel bad now because I think he is... I think he's autistic. Well, he got a lot of grief and he's practicing. So he's a danger to humanity. Oh, big time. Let me say this. Erica, I know you are probably listening or some family members or friends or i don't think chuck's listening he's probably chopping up something in the bathroom

right now i hopefully yeah it's a rubber ducky here's here's the thing this is what everyone thinks of you we just say it in an explicit, hilarious way, but yes. This is what everyone thinks of you, so take it in. Everyone hates you. Everyone hates you. It's okay, because you can be better. You can grow. There's still a lot more life to be lived.

Chuck cannot. Well, who knows? Well, we do know because of the chemical. Well, he's in the room. He's not listening. He's chopping up things in the bathroom, I hope. So just understand that all right jumping the itunes ratings and reviews join us on patreon.com slash another podcast network we'll be back next week with another brand spank new episode of below deck sailing yet podcast uh we're gonna do our best to try to get

uh simple chuck and erica on um we'll keep you abreast. Watch them be lovely and win us over. It's impossible for them to be lovely because of the things that we'll say. I wouldn't expect anyone to be lovely, given what we're going to say. So we'll see you next week. I'm Dylan. Say goodbye. Nick, say goodbye. Goodbye. Matt, say goodbye.

Bye. Bye, boys. Get athletic greens and magic mind stuff. you