Another Below Deck Podcast - So Many Knives in So Many Backs | Below Deck Med S8 E3

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

Dylan and Patrick are back to break down Le Cirque, lies, chaos, anarchy, texts, Anne, smiles, weather, evil, anterograde amnesia and so much from Bravo's Below Deck Med. Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/

This is absolute insanity. They mock him for serving them pasta because pasta is easy. Then they want pasta again for dinner. What? When the pasta comes out and it's lobster linguine and it's the first course, you can complain about it being at slot one. But what you can't do is eat it and then go where is the lobster pasta right because that's that's memento kind of fucking memory loss that's a good point it's a good point i hadn't uh

and framed it that way but yes that is quite insane welcome aboard ladies and gentlemen hello and welcome aboard ladies and gentlemen to another below deck podcast my name is dylan i'm saddled up next to one Patrick Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Granted. Hey, Patrick. Hey, how are you, buddy? Oh, I'm good. Wow.

What a great week it's been. Great week. Yeah. The numbers are up. Numbers are up. We can't thank you guys enough for supporting the show, for growing the show. Public service announcements are this. Patrick, take it away. Okay. First off, if you're not on bad TV-

And that sounded like I didn't mean it, but I do mean it. We are appreciative. Okay. We are having a blast covering The Golden Bachelor. It's a ratings juggernaut, and we are doing some of the best coverage of it of any of our peers so hop on over to bad tv show us a little love listen to an episode die laughing and then you can't help yourself we're like the crack cocaine of podcasts yeah yeah yeah so that's a good show um and it's fun because they're making 70 year old women stay in a house with bunk beds, which is inhumane. So we talk about that there. YouTube channel. We've talked about it in the past currently because we launched a new channel. If you search another Below Deck podcast,

it'll take you to a kooky channel called Real Nicholas Davis. I think the caption of the channel is I'm the captain now or something like that but that's not the right youtube channel you want to follow us at another below deck podcast if you're having a tough time finding the channel go to our instagram follow us there the links are in the bio search us on another below deck podcast on instagram lots of really good social clips we just put out um that whole thing where natalia's uh talked to us about that man who shared a whore with his two sons yeah i mean a sex worker and she's concerned that it might uh end with her being murdered for sharing such a behind the scenes kind of yachty

well i'm concerned for her but she shared it you know it's not our fault. Uh, so look out Natalia, but listen, we have a great episode to get into. Um, do you want to talk about the conflict in the Middle East right now? Or should we just get into below deck? Yeah. Um, heartbreaking stuff. We're here so that you can take a break from that and just have a laugh and chuckle over something stupid like this television show. Yes. All right. It's important when the world is in a lot of turmoil to have mindless drivel like our podcast. That's exactly what we are. And I'm so proud to be that. Me too. Okay. So here's my thought. I'm getting my thoughts and knots, right? Where are we? I believe so. Yes. Now. Okay. Bravo to the casting.

The drama with that service department is incredible. I had anxiety watching this episode. I felt like I was working with some backstabbing assholes. Okay. Because there's quite a few of them on this boat. How about that, Kyle? That little shit stir. God, Kyle, you're going to get people killed on this boat how about that kyle that little shit stir god kyle you're gonna get people killed on this vessel uh i love my gossipy gaze but i think kyle is uh i think he's becoming

a villain these are your pots of course uh but let me tell you i have thoughts on them okay um i thought it was a great episode uh i just hope it doesn't turn into one of those where I'm anxiety ridden the entire season. Yeah. I like the, I like the ups and downs of it. And then we jumped to something else. That's fun. Like some sea rats hooking up.

I can't stand 16 episodes of just three people going at it. Mm hmm. But for, I love this episode as a standalone, I give it 50 knots. Mm hmm. Do you think I was too pulled back there while you were doing your thoughts and thoughts? Not at all. Okay.

Not at all. I agree with you wholeheartedly in that it was a yummy episode. Don't get me wrong. It was like a PB&J of just deceit and fucking vicious fucking backstabbing, right? But Below Deck needs to have a little Brady Bunch here and there. You know, we need to have some nice familial times where a bunch of runaway drunks kind of bond over,

you know, more joyous things in life. We cannot have this kind of toxicity. And I fear that where kyle goes this goes and where natalia goes this goes now let's let's talk about you're not gonna put any of this on to me i'm not really putting that much on to me in terms of the power ranking of evil right now shocker mouths agape across the people listening to the to the podcast i would put the power ranking of evil this episode natalia one kyle second to me third wow i think you and i are going to be bumping heads throughout this episode and i hope that we have a spirited debate about this very

important subject matter, because I do genuinely believe that. But with that being said, it's entertaining, but we need to kumbaya a little bit. Unfortunately, Captain Sandy is going to be the one that's holding the rain stick of that ceremony. So that's not going to happen. Somebody's going to happen somebody's gonna get fired right um but fun episode awful charter guests i mean awful well let's get into it um i guess we're gonna no no no i have to give pot oh right right right nine okay nine yeah it's low no no it's good so last last we left off, Toomey and Natalia were softly at each other's throats. It's kind of like Will Ferrell and Adam Scott hugging and stepbrothers

kind of like soft punches at one another, but a little game respect game. Both of them are at fault, but Natalia, this is where she needs to chill way the fuck down or out. It's chill out.

It chilled way the fuck out because when to me says the boat is not organized. Well, hold on. That's not how she described it. There's a nuance of words. She referred to it as a quote unquote shit show. Right?

Okay. Yeah. So those are two different ways of kind of, but she says the boat is a shit show. And my gosh, we're going to be softly at each other's throats tonight. Natalia, when Toomey says the boat's a shit show and Natalia says,

whoa, excuse me, balking at the accusatory tone directed at her, Toomey clarifies that she's not talking about what Natalia has done. She said, Natalia did a great job. First, first first charter get the fuck out of here now but i'm talking about the way the boat is laid out after she says that in a fairly kind of um cooling tone it should be dropped at that point but no natalia is out for blood here she's just out for blood all right dylan just

watching from the cheap seats here. I understand that to me, and I think she even said it in her little interview there, she's trying to reestablish the hierarchy here. She's the boss now, and I totally get that. But as a manager, Dylan, you have to be a little choosier with your words and how you articulate things.

Referring something out of the gate as a shit show is a bit much in my opinion. I think so too. Okay. words and and how you articulate things referring something out of the gate as a shit show yeah is a bit much in my opinion i think so too okay and then secondly after these two break apart uh to me tells us that natalia was quote unquote going off on her that's a bit of an exaggeration now we'll get into this at the tail end of the episode natalia starts shooting her mouth off over what time someone should go to bed that uh belongs to the chiefs too so we'll we'll get there this is a very nuanced kind of combative relationship we'll break down the game yeah we'll break it down like the gumshoes that we are but we move on to

something very important that our late producer usually handled. Oh, well, you can't just jump to the preference shoot meeting. We got a couple other things going on here, Dylan. We're going to be at each other's throats tonight. Not at all. I will say this. To me, if I can give you some little sea rat advice, you catch more sea rat. Shit with honey.

Bees with honey. Okay. So we get some background on Toomey. We learn her mother was tough, and she was also picked on a team, and that's where she learned to be kind, but don't let others walk on you. It's kind of like an odd version of the golden rule. You're talking about Sea Rat history. Yeah, Sea Rat history. And then Natalia shares what took place between her and to me

with jessica and then luca says he loves the drama yeah yeah yeah interesting because i like to see the veneer of perfection get a little blurry with you luca yeah you gossipy little bitch okay okay all right fight fight fight all right all right so we have an issue here where our producer our late producer has he checked himself into some kind of help yet i think he's seeking treatment right now okay so he will no longer be able to deliver the preference sheet meeting i think so i got some notes i jotted down in in uh in case we weren't going to be able to get him did you uh have some notes on their preference sheet? Yeah, I do have some notes on the preference sheet. Should we try to call him or is he a cliffside Malibu or something like that?

He's not answering. Well, spoiler alert alert and it's good they don't let you have your phones there because that kind of tethers you to the outside world the outside world is where the bad decisions were made and you need to be a different person before you go back in. Hi, I'm Kalen. Yeah. Uh, I ate four firehouse subs, uh, last week. Um, three, shame to myself, three bags of Mrs.

Vicky's chips. I got jalapeno. I got barbecue. I got sea salt and vinegar and it was too much. Um, so preference sheet, we've got, um,

who, man, I don't want to fuck this name up, but I primary, her name is mecca mecca yep okay was it mecca more though did somebody say mecca more i just saw the name on the sheet yeah okay mecca hansen uh henson um she is uh coming aboard with a plant-based friend. When Sandy says, how do you do with veganism? The scouser, like any chef

Don't go on. No, no, no. Chef Middle Earth you're talking about? Yeah, Chef Middle Earth. Like any chef who's been around over the last 10 years says, fine, it's fine. Although Dylan. It's just vegetables. It's fine. In the history of Sea Rat chefs, they hate two things.

Well, they hate three things. Actually, they hate eggs for breakfast. Yeah. And they hate making meals for vegans. Yes. They also hate the occasional guest that insists on a surf and turf be served through a straw. Yes. Yeah.

And that's because the majority of the Sea Rat chefs are not talented. Right. Yeah. And that's because the majority of the C-Ret chefs are not talented. Right. Right. So the weather, as is with, what are we putting this at? 60% of below deck vacations. Yeah. Is going to be so bad that they cannot leave the dock. They're going to want a diamonds are forever party.

They're going to want a pajama party and they're going to want late night snacks. Those are a must. Now, we usually don't see this. We usually see the charter guests paying exorbitance of money. And then the sea rats after seven o'clock, they fuck off. They go, there's no food. Just drink away. Right.

We'll get you some peanuts. The odd part about that pajama party, if I could just say, I understand the pajama party, snack party, if I could just say, I understand the pajama party, snack party, whatever, but does it have to be three and a half minutes after you left the dinner table? I don't even know if I need three trays of flat pizzas. I just ate a goddamn eight course meal. Right, right, right. Well, Pat, when you're on vacation, you pig out a little bit.

That's true. You know what I mean? So we move on to a text sent to Kyle, which is indicative of some monstrous stuff from Toomey, mainly the use of third person. What? Huh? Well, is that word spelled with an N? I mean, a Z? No, it's not. My brain isn't working. Let me help you. It's just not working right now. I think what you were getting at, Dylan, was Toomey had built her entire perception of Natalia coming on this boat based upon Kyle and her at this consulate. How much information could you guys talk about

at that consulate? But anyway, she's formed the opinion that Natalia is a diva. What is a consulate? Isn't that where you get all your papers to go to another country? Is it any different than an embassy? Is a consulate a room in an embassy, or is it a different building? Great question.

I always looked at the two as the same thing. Yeah. So Toomey says, giving you a heads up, I know you're mates with her, but Nat needs to stay in her lane because Toomey losing her shit will end in her walking off because she had a diva moment. Toomey, are you in the WWE? Why are you saying if she messes with Toomey and you are Toomey sending the text as Toomey, that's just a wild fucking thing to do. You know what's interesting about Toomey? And I guess she's coming in, you know, it's her first day. day like let's give her a little breathing room here i don't remember

this version of to me last season i just remember kind of the girl from the sidelines doing her job well being kind of kind and friendly to others yeah i don't know it's kind of different. This to me has more power and with more power comes a lust for it. Yes. So then in comes bitch face. And I'm sorry to call you bitch face, Kyle, but you are doing some really, really nasty stuff here. Dylan, before we get to the queen of service arriving, if you don't. I wanted to talk about his text.

Oh, forgive me. The text that he sends to her is, I did tell you that she's someone that came for all of us. What kind of Game of Thrones existence do you think that you are living? Like, what does that even mean? She came for all... It's just like, the stakes are so low,

that kind of language does not need to be used let me tell you something little finger wannabe if you were trying this bullshit at king's landing your fucking head would be in a dumpster with nets okay you're not doing well here buddy no no no what a double agent he becomes yeah but uh so to me is talking about how chefs are nuts and we cut back to uh down memory lane to Pizza Rat, if you'll remember. He says, you stick to vacuums, I'll stick to cooking. And Pizza Rat, I hope you're still listening, that's a mud creature thing to say,

and maybe you've gotten better. It's a mud creature thing to say, but that's a lot of people that are from where you are from are fucking mud creatures and he's from pennsylvania philly oh yeah how the hell did he not make it on that show house of villains his buddy shake from season three of love is blind made it what is house of what is that it's like a new show it's it's on like e it's popular okay uh one piece of business here, though, Dylan. So, yeah, to me, it notes that Chef Middle Earth,

she normally has camaraderie with chefs because they're all fucking nuts. Yeah. And she's nuts. So, of course, you know, we're, you know. Yeah, simpatico. I would tell to me, though, everyone on these boats are nuts. Okay. Now, before this happens, Dylan,

Natalia calls her boyfriend to confide in that horrible day that she had, you know, I hate this guy so much. And he asked if he can call her back because he's next in line at that Bukkake party. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause he's a deviant. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, honey, we're, I'm at this thing right now where we're, we're going to make a, we're all going to come in a and then somebody's gonna go back and and then this person who we're paying 700 so i gotta should i bleep that should i bleep that uh no not at all okay and the room looks like uh the scene from the film eyes wide shut yeah yeah everyone's wearing wearing like, what do you call it?

Like masquerade masks and whatnot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like an ACOTAR. If you're going to come into a frying pan, show yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have a little courage, you know. So then after a dispute over Laura versus Lara, I'm still not sure what to call her.

Orange shorts and Doc Martens arrive. Well, one last thing, Dale, before Captain Queen of Service arrives. Natalia, feeling just defeated, has now initiated a self-imposed Sea Rat exile. Like Charles II, but she doesn't exile herself to the northern mountains of france much worse place it's a landscape of skid marks and other horrors she says i'm just going to stay in the laundry room she wants to stay there for the rest of the charter season yeah well that's exactly where she will stay we'll get to the lord of the Flies conversation with Toomey and the gang later, but it is a horrific place, a place filled with linen and blood. Tube socks with jizz on them.

Uh-huh. Yep. Ejaculate, other kind of plasma. Captain Lee forgot those little bottles with booze in them that you hide in your pants, and he forgot because you're so drunk to take them out. Then you put them in the washer. Yeah. Clink, clink, clink. You think we're ever going get leon oh no he hates us but i don't like you either

i hope he doesn't hate me i mean i haven't been as defamatory about his uh affliction as you have but i mean he is a grumpy fuck. You know what I mean? So the service queen himself arrives and the greeting between these two, he greets so many people, but the one that made me want to crawl outside of my skeleton was the meeting with Natalia. Well, they have a brother and sister relationship. Yeah.

Yeah. It's his Australian sister for whom he's been carving a hole in her back with a knife for the last eight months the fact that he has been texting to me i told you that she will come for us all and then hugging her the way that he is hugging her is real Kaiser. So say shit. I mean, it is fucking duplicitous Machiavellian and quite fucking evil. Well, Machiavellian,

if there was an end to the means, uh, I don't think he has a clue what he's doing here other than chaos. Well, perhaps he's the Joker. We'll talk about his the you know these sea rats they get so big for their britches you know he's going to attempt to pull off well i agree with you what cannot be described as anything other than absolute anarchy when he's we'll get

to it later but but you're kyle you're not good enough you're not the anto anna wintour of this whole sea rat deceit game okay i know you think you are but you're not that good we got a meanwhile here meanwhile hayley is not used to doing um is not used to not doing cool boat shit that's the only thing she does is cool boat well she struggles when boats don't move dylan and i'd argue imagine paying for the boat to move yeah i mean that's a much worse you could be paying for it you're getting paid uh all right then we get to an interior team meeting kyle natalia and jess sit down with their new leader who says kyle you're obviously second natalia fuck you you're in laundry and jess i don't whatever your name i don't know what you are can we

let's have a moment to talk about jess really quickly um only the second or third episode but ann she's like ann i who it's like we got to get some stuff going here's what i'll say when you come on and your edict is i don't want to be around any of this drama you probably should not be cast as a sea rat on this show i mean sea rat histories are horrifically boring sight to me's my mom knew how to yell well i did like the second part of her sea rat history though yeah which i think she does in this interior meeting which she says that she used to be a recruiter uh it sounded like of prostitutes for yeah yeah nightclubs right right right uh and that's how she knows to manage uh sea rats yeah yeah but uh yeah that that she was like a snake head you know um but yes this is it's a similar thing with what happened with natalia in the beginning of the episode i understand why she did it. I think it makes sense.

Kyle is good with people on service. Yes. You can't take that away. And Natalia will be in a position to where she can teach and how to do the things in the bowels of the boat, but it's done in this very chilly corporate cold layoff kind of speak. And it's just, i don't know i think one of the lessons you have to learn when you're managing especially managing sea rats is cadence is king you know and you have to massage that a little bit better because you're you're structuring the hierarchy

of the boat that's a very delicate thing you You know, you can't just say, obviously, you're not going to go anywhere near the guests. Dil, I know, speaking of Natalia, like, Kyle, we just know he's a lunatic and he's going to do what he's going to do, but Natalia and Toomey, it seems like at this point, and maybe there's still time, although when we talked to Natalia, she's blocked

both Kyle and Toomey, so that says something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why couldn't one of them have just come and said hey look we got off to a bad start can we start fresh and then you hug it out and then you kind of you get off on the right foot the fact that neither were able to do that i don't know sad very sad yeah what do i expect out of these? No, you can't expect really anything from sea rats other than. Yeah. Speaking of sea rats, there's a new one coming on.

How big is this boat? I've never seen this many sea rats on a single. There are so many sea rats. We've got eight sea rats, nine sea rats actually aboard this vessel. That is probably three too many sea rats didn't we get rid of brook because we had enough sea rats we got rid of brook because brook was so useless she couldn't even be a sea rat and she needed to get back to the um the sprouts empire but this guy um coming aboard his name is max He is a kind of gruyere fuck boy.

There is no way this guy is making it through this season. He seems like he is going to sexually harass for too many times and then he's going to get through. I just don't buy it. Can I break down his resume? Yeah. So he's got an interesting angle as a Sea Rat. He views working on yachts like being a patron at a casino where you wait until an old hag that's playing the slots isn't looking and you steal the purse with all their money. I mean, that's how he described it. And that's kind of the inverse of that is usually what happens in casinos where you really have to watch your shit because those same slot hags will kind of do ocular pat downs of the room and they will smoke your cigarette butts they will drink your drinks and they will

pull down on your penny left on the machine in a second they're depraved underworld like creatures these old women that sit there and smoke fucking capris and marlboro super lights until until they're in the ground for forever i i it's it's astonishing that more of them don't die on casino floors i agree with you sorry hey a couple more beats on the background of this Max guy. He's French, clearly. Four years in yachting. He's a bosun, and he views himself as a quote-unquote predator. I'll say this.

We've had enough predators on these boats. Yeah. And it's like... Like, absolutely not. Can we not? And listen, snap judgment. We don't know the guy. He might not be a, who was the fuck face in the bucket hat, but guys like that, can we just do a little screening before we let them come on the show? I mean, it's just like there are women, there's lots of alcohol. Let's just protect people.

Okay. And again, don't want to put that on him, but I'm just kind of getting those vibes when you call yourself predator. Yeah. And speaking of predator, the reason why I have so much animosity towards the slot eggs,

and I'm sorry for forgetting. So no, no, no ferocious, but I get depressed when I go to Vegas that one of the most depressing fucking things ever. I was at a slot machine just kind of waiting, I think. And so I was yanking, right? And ran out of money because that's what those machines do. You're like, oh, there are five

buffaloes here. I don't know why that's bad, but it is bad. And then you lose like $5. You're like, well, maybe I'll just up it to seven and then three pulls later and you've lost forty dollars so i had a little one of those tickets that got spit out i think it had like 17 cents on it and i left my phone and the ticket there very foolish but i was right by the atm so i go to the atm to take out more money to lose and i come back and the slot hag is at the thing and she's going to grab for my ticket, which has 17 cents on it. And I catch her and she looks at me like, with this unsaid, can I have it? And I just said, it's okay. And she took it and she left.

And I was just like, oh gosh. My wife's grandmother's banned from a casino because she did that. Oh my God. She was a regular. She went back to her Friday night slots at the commerce casino and whatever. Yeah.

And they pulled her in security. I mean, she's like 78, a little too old to be stealing tickets. went back to her friday night slots at the commerce casino and whatever yeah and they pulled her in security i mean she's like 78 a little too old to be stealing tickets yeah and that's what they do they steal and they said you're banned it was her favorite place to go on fridays well listen they're a fun time so um we kyle and nat chat yeah we get to kyle and this is where the double agent happens. Letting Nat know what Toomey said about her. This is lighting the pile of money on fire. This is Kyle volunteering that Toomey texted him about Natalia. I don't know what kind of chaos this guy thinks he can structure,

but he's going to fail. There's no way that this is not going to get out of the bag. Oh, no. It's great TV. I appreciate that, Kyle. But you realize you're being filmed, right? Yeah. So the guests show up.

They are not happy. Macca seems to be blaming someone for the weather. It's a strange thing where like you can like I got this vibe that like of course you can be pissed off that these are subpar conditions, but she's like

she seems to think that it's somebody's fault, you know, and I know it's frustrating, but it's it's God, you know, it's it's the Holy Trinity who controls the weather and or I don't know. So it's not Sandy. No, no, no. It's not Sandy.

But Sandy is in a full Sandy mode here. She's like. Hey. No, but also she's disappointed. There aren't enough smiles. Come on. She's like, no smiles. Look there aren't enough smiles. Come on. She's like, no smiles.

Look at that. No smiles. Are we at a miss America pageant right now? Like what, what are you talking about? No smiles. Um, as they can do whatever they want,

as is the case with so many, so many charter groups, the primary is nowhere near as big of an asshole as many of the friends that come aboard the vessel. That's how it normally, we've seen it so many times. And I know that everybody splits the bill sometimes, but the people that speak to service people, the way that some of these women do are fucking demons. That's it. To me is giving them a chart tour of the boat. And she says, we have some cheese and charcuterie boards you're one of your favorite things yeah and dylan uh we can't ding the guests for having

a i don't even think they had caught a gander at that was did the guests ever see uh chef i don't think so but my god looks like what my four-year-old's lunchable looks like it looks like a it looked like a von's charcuterie board. You can't have that. But at the, at the, the, just, just a whisper, the possibility of a charcuterie board.

One of the guests says, no, I don't want cheese. I want food, food. Talk to people differently who are waiting on you, please. I mean,

it's just fucking insane. You and I are in agreement. You're paying a lot of money. It's your vacation, but you still have to have a polite demeanor of conversation. You can't just be ordering people around. You can have food. Right.

But be polite about it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my goodness gracious. So meanwhile. Meanwhile. The cheese plate is, as we mentioned, Kroger type shit. It's absolutely

disgusting. Luca cannot understand Max's accent. And we're really pressing for this lunch. And this is when we get some Natalia being way too on. So she's enjoying from the sidelines. Is this her enjoying the chaos? She's on a character assassination mission from the sidelines is this her enjoying the chaos she's on a character assassination mission the likes of which we haven't seen since i don't know i rob o'neill you know rob o'neill uh yeah yeah who is he oh he's uh the we talked we've talked about a lot of times before but he's the one who goes on like Jim Jeffrey and Harlan Williams podcast to talk about how he killed Osaba Bin Laden.

Oh, that guy. That's right. Yeah. He gave him a dirt nap, he said. Wow. Yeah. No, you didn't. Wow.

And if you did, more power to you for making it a lucrative thing, but like, why are you doing this it's very weird hey did you buy that uh story natalia told about uh how a teacher used to say i know you're poor because your house got burned down i don't know if i did but if it is true um maybe kill that woman because that is it went kind of under the radar, but that's probably we've had a lot of sad sea rat histories on this show. Joao shot himself while protecting his mother who's being beat by an elephant. What with an elephant bone?

We've had tales of drug addiction and abandonment, but I don't think anything has topped a science teacher mocking a child for her house burning down. Luckily, uh, Natalia kicked those books in her face though, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, you know, we have her on again.

We'll get to the bottom of that story. Oh, and let's, let's talk about the lovely folks at Bravo. Once again, giving us a guest right before they have a pretty bad showing. That's just how it works. Dylan, look, any of us would have behaved the way Natalia does. If you're talking about her doing the little snips, we glossed over this. When the guests arrived, Natalia, they cut to her,

and she's like, well, someone forgot to put a bouquet of flowers on the table. There's little things that she's critiquing all along the way i think the fans are going to side with me i think that i think that there's going to be some dissension in the facebook group go to the facebook group jump in there things can be true at once i think to me can be coming in a little hot and i think natalia can be enjoying and reveling in the chaos right right right but indigo is more blue than it is purple or green i think i think that made sense i kind of think it did but you'll let us know who's the best in the um thing to me natalia

just get a facebook group and just tie it's a great community over there just share your thoughts with people it's great so um jess is like we talked about uh very sweet and also very very boring uh her c-rat and c-rat history was her in cheerleading she didn't like it so she quit. That is fascinating. Today's episode is brought to you by Green Chef. What is Green Chef? What the heck is this? Well, I'll tell you right now.

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But Natalia strikes me as the kind of person that is very into cuddling. And, you know, listen, I'm all for taking things slow and respecting one another's bodies. But at the end of the day, you know, we're sea rats. I you guys have now we need to get down. You need to fuck each other. It's like I'm not I'm not I don't want to cuddle for a month and a half. Oh, no. You know, I think Natalia has been pretty clear with that, that she's DTF.

I don't think so. I don't think she Df storm uh she absolutely did on the boat on the boat they talked about it at the reunion sorry i again these things vacate my head once we're done with the season um well then you erase everything i said but still i kind of think that's there so um she says she'd like to have a cuddle with Luca and we move on to lunch. The rating of the food. Well, one dish was for the vegan. One dish was for the vegan.

It was an avocado and some kind of sun choke or seed salad, which can be delicious, but that is kind of a, it's a background character to a meal. He was rushed though. He was rushed. Let's give Chef of Middle Earth a little room here. 100%. There's a line that made me upset.

We've talked about how my wife famously in my life said that people who have I did it my way played at their funerals or like are likely assholes um and there are oh and frank sinatra was an asshole he was but he's a crooner you know the likes of which we've never seen but huge asshole which is why he sang that song i did it my way um he killed people you know it's definitely in the room. So, um, when people say things like, that's just Mike, or that's just that it's, it's a cousin to, I hate that I am this way. And then to, to have a friend come in with a Zodiac justification for your behavior. I mean, that is just mind melting. You know, I think Mecca, who wasn't really that bad, she, you know, she's paying a lot of money. She wants things done the

way that she is, but she's a little rude about it. And she goes, I just hate that I am this way. And her friend goes, well, you're a Pisces. You know, that's just, that's just the way you are. Let's not chuck up our failings to the stars, right? That's just the way you are. There you go. Let's not chuck up our failings to the stars, right? That's just a little nuts. And listen, it's fun. But, you know, let's all try to get better. So, oh, the masseuse gets on board. That's right.

Everyone wants this guy's ass. Yes, yes, yes. And why? He's very good looking. Is he?. Yes, yes, yes. And why? He's very good looking. Is he? I thought he was, yes. He looked to be very small and like a pirate.

He looked to be like a little pirate. Listen, everybody's got different tastes. We get to the menu planning. Okay. This is... Yeah, all right. Now, Dylan, maybe you were watching a little bit more detailed than I was. First off, yeah. All right. Now I, Dylan, maybe you were watching a little bit more

detailed than I was. First off, I love this move. When you know that you have charter guests and with specific dietary requests, I appreciate it. I'm not sure who told Kyle to do this, but I liked working out the menu because you seemingly it would be to avoid issues at actual service. Right. I liked how he went over it with the charter guests. However, where was the miscommunication here about the lobster being served for the first course and the third course? I guess we can discuss that during actual service. Well, I mean, what happens,

what ensues at dinner is a shutter island kind of nightmare um the whole thing it doesn't make any sense it's like one of those uh puzzles or paintings where the stair goes into the stair that goes into the stair that goes into the other stair and you're like oh how did they all go to different but are all the one this is absolute insanity they mock him for serving them pasta because pasta is easy. Then they want pasta again for dinner. What? They want Bobby, I think, wants lobster

pasta, but she wants it for a main course. Now, when the pasta comes out and it's lobster linguine and it's the first course, you can complain about it being a slot one but what you can't do is eat it and then go where is the lobster pasta right because that's that's memento kind of fucking memory loss that's a good point it's a good point i hadn't uh

and framed it that way but yes that is quite insane yeah i guess we'll get to dinner we were talking about it but a couple things do happen before dinner uh i think uh yeah i think hayley said she'd uh like the masseuse to bang her or something yeah uh nat tells uh uh chef that to me's been bad mouthing him so this is natalia now engaging in the same horrible behavior that kyle has i love you nat but uh don't don't don't she's napalming the entire situation and you know um you know what she reminded me of danielle at carl and lindsey's engagement, where she's just walking around to everybody going, can you believe it? When did you know?

I didn't know. Nobody told me. Nobody told me. How are you doing? Oh, this is the first I've heard of it. Yeah, I found out half an hour ago. Why? You don't know this person.

Why are you talking to them? She said it to a guy cleaning dishes. Yeah, it's absolutely insane. And no one watched Summer House, right? Just don't watch that show. Cece had on, my lovely wife Cece had on Southern Charm. And I just watched some of these shows. I understand why Below Deck is a show.

It's fascinating. These other shows, I just don't, for the life of me. I agree. So Kyle is no longer with Frank, a love story lost. He is now in love with a doctor, Zachary doctor from who's Italian. Love that for you too.

Max says it's good to work with girls. Okay. That's. Danger. I mean, fucking put a red flag up on top of, like one of the big ones that you see on yachts. That's how big that red flag is. It's giving me Ashton vibes, but French, you know?

So Toomey has a beautiful moment with Samantha, who seems like a lovely human. to me has a beautiful moment with Samantha who seems like a lovely human. Um, she is kind of given, um, adoration for making strides, um, for diversity in an industry that basically,

yeah, that does not have a lot of representation. And with to me is kind of, um, success and, um, presence on this show, it can kind of show us all that it doesn't matter your race,

your gender, your sexual orientation. You too can be a runaway out on the high seas and get paid semi-decently and get abused by the wealthy. So yeah, I mean, I'm happy for everybody involved. The yachting industry, as we've seen on this program, is a lot of things. It has issues with its bias and racist issues. Yeah.

It's a playground for sexual predators. Yes. And also, as you pointed out, a refuge for broken people. Yes, yes. So come one, come all. That needs to be, we need to turn this industry into a safe haven, an Ellis Island for all shapes and sizes and colors and creeds of runaways, of which Toomey is not.

Toomey is a different kind of human being. She is a career sea rat, but that is the exception to the rule. Yeah, yeah. Hey, speaking of sea rats, Luca, this character, we are starting to learn a lot about this guy. Yep. You do not like him. No, I do like him.

I'm just trying to figure him out. Okay. So we're getting like- You called him little guy. I did? Yeah. I didn't even know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't like subconscious bias. Well, anyway- You're high privileged. Am I? Oh, because I'm high. I don't like subconscious bias. Well, anyway. You're high privileged. Am I? Oh, because I'm high. I'm tall. You're high. But I don't judge others.

But this little guy, we get some Sea Rat history from him. He shares a story about his cock once starting a food fight. That's crazy. That's a new one, Luca. I'll give that to you, buddy. That's pretty good, man. That's pretty good. Wreaked havoc on his last work environment.

Yeah, people were throwing food at each other, fighting over his cock. That's really impressive. So he's 24 years old, I think. Yeah, he's young. That is so young. My goodness. Dinner.

Let's get to it. Lobster linguine and butternut squash rave for the vegan. I do like that they're looking out for the vegan because, you know, vegans get treated like second-class citizens all the time. I agree. But out comes the second main, which is a yellowtail with mussels and a citrus sauce. This is really the only bad dish I've seen the Scouser send out. It is of Pan Am.

It is absolutely revolting to look at. It's the kind of, it's 80s Wall Street coke fair it's absolutely disgusting a fucking big big fucking portion of fish on top of a bunch of opened up shelf i mean it's just get get that out of here it'd be uh what was it uh circus what was that yeah um the circ the circ yeah yeah um Le Cirque. Le Cirque. Yeah. Yeah. But then we get to Shutter Island. Now we get to, am I an inmate or am I a police officer investigating some kind of crime? Because we have no fucking idea what's going on here. And to me, which is what the scouser calls to me. He just calls her to me.

It's like in Curb Your Enthusiasm where he calls Hugh you, and Hugh is not happy about that, and they do get into a bit of a dust-up at the end of the episode after Larry mentions that Hugh's seven-year-old son has a massive cock. It's a great episode, but to me and Jack have a bit of a dust up. Again, with the confusing nature of the origin of the fight, the fight itself is subsequently confused. This is the origin of this dust up is the shit talking that took place prior to everybody working with each other. The only thing that is not confusing about this is that the blood is on the

hands of natalia she is the reason why there is so much tension between these two they're they're fine i mean sure lunch was a little rushed but there should be no escalation like this at this point you know now natalia has sowed seeds of division um within these two or between these two. And that is why we are so quickly at threat level bad. We move into the late night and the dinner's disgusting. It's fucking disgusting. It's what did you think of that crust on that pizza?

Then the, the pizza is fine. It's, it's the pizza looked as though it was cooked in an oven with the ability to get nowhere near the kind of heights that you need to get to in order to cook a pizza properly. It was,

uh, it was focaccia with shit on top. Essentially, it was not pizza and I don't want pasta with fucking lobster bisque, just swimming in lobster bisque like the pasta was not dressed. It was drowning and then there was fucking lobster chucked on top of it and then out came a piece of fucking cooked tuna with muscle. It just six pots, six pots. Okay.

It's worth mentioning to me doubles back and speaks to chef middle earth and apologizes. Yes. And then also add, she knows someone's been in his goddamn ear. Yeah. Someone's in everyone's ear on this vessel at this point. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is like a, this is like Squid Game. Like somebody is really manipulating the scenes. And I think it's Sandy. I think Sandy is the jigsaw killer up in her crow's nest. I think she's got cameras on everybody and she's just sitting there with some kind of hairless cat and she's petting it. And those things cannot bathe themselves. You have to wash them. They stink. I don't know why anybody buys

them, but every animal needs a home, but there are too many animals and they can't all have homes. So some of them need to be killed and it's very sad. It's very sad. All right. So let's, God, if you could take all of them into your home, wouldn't I would I would I would. All right. So the pajama party pizza party. That's a dud. It seems like nothing happens. The only thing I'll say here is that this is where Kyle really does show his might. He's he just is phenomenal with people. Great service. He's so good with service. And he's very good with high maintenance people until three o'clock in the morning. That's not a thing. He's very good with high maintenance people until three o'clock in the morning. That's not a thing.

Many sea rats we've seen in that position are just so cold telling the guests to go to bed. And Kyle's not that. He's not that. So we get to the next morning. Next morning. Oh, Kyle goes to bed at three in the morning. And he did not clean up that goddamn pajama party. in the morning and he did not clean up that goddamn pajama party so uh so we roll over to the next day and we are not doing well because kyle did not put away the decorations to me and natalia are at each other's throats and again this is nat is Natalia's fault. Okay. Okay. Can I, it's a little more

nuanced than that. All right. So this particular, I side with Toomey on this. Natalia, she told you when you said he, Kyle, she brought to Toomey's attention that Kyle should have cleaned this crap up before he went to bed. Yeah. Toomey says, well, I told him I wanted him to go to bed. And that's the end of the argument. That's, she's your superior. That's the end of the argument. But then Toomey tells Natalia she's been, quote unquote, attacking her since she got on board. Has she been attacking her, Dylan? Who is attacking who? Natalia's been attacking Toomey.

Kind of. And then Natalia tells Toomey she came on board with a bad attitude. Yeah. But I mean, both of them need to stop behaving like children this is what i'm saying it's tough to take a side here uh you know what am i saying i was gonna say you hope they can kind of work things out but i don't want that either no no what are you i'm gonna watch 16 episodes of them being best friends well we want you're fucking mine we want them to work it out with a a soft hatred for one another not uh an overt

aggressive hatred for one another you know what overt, aggressive hatred for one another. You know what I mean? Because that's just going to get too yucky. You got to leave things cool down because look under stress like this, who wants to fuck anybody, right? Yeah. Yeah. Right.

The, the, listen, and, and we don't want to sound like pigs, but I think that all of the viewers of this show can agree, be they be they men women or whatever is in between because gender is not real we want to see the sea rats fuck you have to see the sea rats fuck at least a little bit it's an important piece of the quilt of a season of below deck and when you're not relaxed you can't pop off no so that's it for us jump in the comments let us know what you thought of the episode and the comments are at patreon.com we love you very much vicky i love you girl i am so sorry you were long-winded i did not mean that i did mean it but i we love you said it jump in the itunes ratings reviews ratings reviews have been fantastic we'd love to see you guys there and uh like i said with the youtube channel

follow us on instagram all the links are in the bio uh have a great rest of your week have a nice time i'm dylan saying goodbye pet say goodbye later dudes Bye.