Another Below Deck Podcast - Sober Up with Bud Light | Below Deck Reg S9 E7

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

Pat, Nick and Dylan are back to talk how nasty things are getting between the crew, the importance of opening everything, wiping things with towels that have piss on them, how Jake sees people and much more of Bravo's Below Deck Reg.  Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Sailing seasons 1 & 2 and our interview with Lexi Wilson.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork Video of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw Merch: AnotherMerchStore.com Manscaped.com - Use Promo Code: BELOWDECK for 20% OFF plus free shipping.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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to suck my non-existent cock, which is one way to handle. I get to an ad-read. Not quite yet. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm SaddleUp next to one real Nicholas Davis. Hoi mateys! Happers to podcast over there behind my glasses. You know, I really enjoy this show. Well, not really, but I enjoy that we're growing

because it's very encouraging for me. I like seeing the numbers go up and the retention is great. And so I'm one of, oh hi. So I just launched into a PSA. Well, I was gonna say nonsense and then I, that was way too harsh to start off the show when I was looking at a text thread.

He's being positive though. Yeah, well I to let the audience so we got some extra content coming down the pike. We got Nicky and I in studio sat down with the red snapper. I poured a glass of Pino for the two of us and we just talked for an hour. We just shot the shot and just had a good old time. What'd you shoot?

The shot, the poop. And honestly, Dylan, we did miss you a little bit at the captain's home because we all got a little drunk and we were really talking about anything, but it was a good time and a fun listen, I think. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, we talked about Riley, who is kind of homeless, chic as many of these young influencers are,

driving around the country in a van without any place to really. She sells Christmas trees, right? Ground, we love Riley, such a great sport. But let's get into the currencies in a below deck. And before we do, do we have any PSAs on top of the PS? Right. We need your help over there.

I've been looking at the YouTube videos we've been posting. I need more engagement with those things. You got to go over to another podcast show on YouTube and subscribe to the page It's the least you can do especially if you're being very cheap and not paying us on patreon. All right So um, let's get into a fan favorite segment that being thoughts and knots We speak generally on the episode and assign it a rating scale of pots. Pat, you want me to go let Nick go first? I love this episode. I had a little bit of everything, some drunk

but polite guests, some lots of infighting and backstabbing, Captain Lee being a little bit of a micro-manager, kind of had all the stuff except to see Rats off board, but we had the morning after, which kind of, I think, makes up for that. I'm gonna give it 80 knots. I liked it.

I enjoy this show. I really like recapping it with you guys too. I feel the same way, man. Me too, pal. And I'm gonna go ahead now next. I also like the episode quite a bit, because it really had what, you know, I say it too often, but it's why we love the show.

It's subjecting the wealthy too in competence. That's, you know, whether it's just serving them or the deck crew screaming at one another while, the primaries are trying to sunbathe or Wes driving around in a Skadoo accomplishing nothing, I mean, it was just chaos. And I loved all of it, 91 pots. I pointed out one thing, a marker of a true great reality TV show episode is having someone that you absolutely hate.

And it's no secret to the audience that I despise captantly, which is why I took great joy and water inflate water toy gate or something I loved how Lee had the gall to tell Eddie to come calm down all the while yelling god damn it 18 times over the railing I believe you were referring to Lee yelling while the guests were attempting to sunbathe that's I think he was talking about the cliffhanger with rena and Jake fighting yeah I owe that one okay ended with Eddie walking down and just looking at them disappointed. Everyone in America went,

what happens next? Hello. Hey, these are my nuts. Oh yeah, these are my thoughts. What was Eddie like? He's like, I'm trying to learn how to play fruit and ninja up in the fucking bridge. I don't want to be a doubt you're doing shit.

You guys know how fucking hard that game is once you get into the upper levels. You guys are screaming down here. These are your pods. You guys know how fucking hard that game is, once you get into the upper levels, you guys are screaming down here, these are your pods. May I continue? Lee is on my last nerve, and he's getting on Eddie's last nerve. That was the best party episode. I love seeing that kind of develop there because Eddie is really getting sick of this fake captain.

Sure. You old useless bastard, go back up and watch Netflix. Jesus, fucking Christ. Oh, by the way, you refer to the female staffers as Sweeties three times in this episode Don Draper. It's 2021. You pig way to be an ally. How many fucking pots do you give it? 16. That's well, that's actually quite a bit for bad. I'm gonna amend my pots to 92 because I don't like being quite a bit for that. I'm gonna amend my paths to 92 because I don't like being not the high.

One last note, one last note on Lee and then I'm gonna be nice to him the rest of the episode. But that's not true. He, I don't know if he's a God-fearing man, but I hope he's not because he's gonna be struck down and brought sent to hell when he dies. Well, I counted, I went back and he said,

God damn it, eight times in this episode in Jesus Christ three times Yeah, the man that way what is that your last name leak because you're using it that much sure Yeah, you're mother with that mouth. Hi You ready yeah, okay? You ready Nick I am I am oh no oh my god I just looked over got a whiff of our soundboard, which you can't smell it. Get ready, because Nick's got some sound effects

coming up later tonight. Just one. Really looking forward to that. So the day begins with Leet trying to stave off death by doing some curls. Futilely, just stick to the Cheerios. Hard healthy. A continued bashfulness from Frazier continues as well.

I feel as though he's putting on quite a bit. We talked about this last episode that Frazier was kind of playing this up and we also talked about how empty inside Jake is. He's married, he's married, he's rubbing his dick on tile and public. Um, and he's making out with any gender that he wants to. So free. I don't want, um, I don't want Fraser to act like he's got a crush on him because it's like falling in love with the stripper. It's, it's ridiculous. It's

pointless. I just, they're to rob you. I did love the dichotomy between these two We had we had angsty Frazier just questioning every decision he's ever made and we had Jake in a very Tyler Manor just no regrets had a blast. Let's do it again. I'm the shit. Well Yeah, Jake to go around. Yeah, that's on display when he as Frazier is kind of like, you know, worried about how this is going to impact the the work environment Jay comes up to him and thanks Frazier for Being such a good tool through which he could Express his sexual freedom. I mean, he looks at people is he looks at everybody like they're a dildo That's that's how you use all of humanity

Or a flashlight whatever you want to say. He's very, he's a sex and love addict. All right, meanwhile, the crew works and does things and Lee tries to smack a fly, which is a very quick animal and Lee is not. So I don't think that, I don't think that he's killed one of those things in conservatively 45 years. But Mr. Miyagi, he is not sir.

No, he is not. No, he is not. Before we move on to I think Nick's segment coming up here, after Frazier puts that whole Jake mess behind him, he's right back to being a petty little bitch backstab and Jess. Sure. It's amazing how that works. Do you want to get into the specificity of that? Oh no, he just, he's like, after him and Jake, I guess patch things up, he just walks

into the interior and then finds his boss and starts immediately trashing Jess Yeah, that's a past time of his mm-hmm. She was on watch what happens live last night I didn't recognize it. She looked like a friggin model whoever's doing the makeup on that show over there Oh my god, she looked amazing how I sound like a pig how cuz that was my captain Lee How was that cuz that was Jess and Rachel helping dish the 4011 in the Andy's Clubhouse on WWE. And I missed it. You missed it, pal. It was a good.

I liked it, yeah. Cool. Did Jess have like a red hair or something? I'll pull up the picture. She did look pretty. I saw a bunch of people being like, who is that when they showed like, Jess?

She have a burrito in her hand. And I'm like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You have a burrito in your hand? No. No. No. No. No. Alright, let's move on to the most important segment of the evening. It is a Colorado based distributor for Anheuser Bush, one of the biggest beer companies in the world. Thank you for that little tidbit bravo. Although, I know that. I know, everybody's kidding, everybody knew that,

but what is interesting, if you go into the history since 2008 of some of the consolidation of the alcohol distribution in this country, it's shocking how it's allowed to happen. Yeah, we got, we got a moulsen cores purchasing Miller, SAP, now we got Miller cores, and then in Bev, to pass a takeover. We've talked about this a lot in his books.

We've always said when it comes to this kind of consolidation and monopolization, we talk about it and you go, clobachar, where are you at, girl? You gotta put a stop to this, you know? I do always say clobachar, where are you at, girl, when this type of thing happens? But where are you at, clobachar with antitrust? That's what you say.

It is quite fascinating. And I'm gonna actually give a little tidbit. If anybody from Wondry is listening, I think it would be a fascinating episode of Business Wars, one of my favorite programs. Michael fought a battle with cancer and received a clean bill of health one year ago and has planned this charter to celebrate with friends and family. Yeah. Another thing this preference sheet meeting highlighted is the not talked about male breast cancer, which is about one in 100 cases, but we don't get a month with all pink for football for losing our titties. And I think it's something that's to be talked about more.

No, I think it's a big pink umbrella for everybody, I think, right? It has switched, actually. Thank you for rooting my joke, but it wasn't accurate. So it actually has to be said. It used to be breast cancer awareness month, but they did change it to all cancer. Man, did I make, hey, at sports 30 during that month? Yeah, they had pink everything, and I tell them this new piece of shoes.

They say, hey, you have anybody in your family die of cancer? Do you care about them? Buy a second pair of cleats. It's October. When the preference sheet struck my television, I, and as, you know, it's been a pattern over the last year, so I tune out completely.

And I was shocked to find out that it was, in fact, he who did survive the breast cancer Yeah, one in 100 one in 100. I mean the chances are very very small. God Joining Michael will be his longtime girlfriend Jennifer who spells her name J E N N I P H E R super annoying who works for a primary Care practice along with Michael's daughter Nicole who spells her name, NICH OLE, and her husband Jerome. Jennifer's daughter Taylor and her husband Justin will also be coming aboard. Taylor is a culinary school graduate, well Justin works in construction and is always the life of the party.

So it means we got a blue collar drunk on board. Yeah. Friends of the primary, Mallory and Clint round out the charter group with Mallory met the primary. Mallory met the primary while serving charter group with Mallory met the primary. Mallory met the primary while serving in beers at their local pub years ago and they became fast friends and he brought her along on a charter yacht. This group looks forward to celebrating Michael's health with drinks always in hand and water toys available all times.

Night one, they invite Captain Leed to dinner and they're having a booby party. Eddie had to bake it up himself and talk about his mom with cancer. Yada yada yada. This isn't about you Night two Greek did Greek dinner served family style and Captain Lee is going to He throws a little wrench at the end. He wants to leave the doc at 10 a.m And have the jetskis and toys ready to set up and he didn't doesn't know why this was thought sooner He walks away and I don't know if this is going to work, but Eddie was like, yeah, a little long, a little fat. This is what I look for.

And that concludes the preference. What would you do without the preference sheet meeting and that sound effect? I don't be lost at sea. It wouldn't be a show. It wouldn't be a fucking show. I got a dial in this board though. Like it wasn't even on here. I had a scramble.

You saw me. I was distracted. That looks really cool though. Yeah, if you fill it up, oh man. Yeah, what a program. What a program. Well, as you said, Lee does get struck by this kind of manic inspiration and says, you know, Yerika, I've got an idea

everybody and, you know, moves forward with it and annoys all of his employees. So, Reina and Wes have a horrific conversation about race. Really awful abuse story. She has a heartbreaking kind of calm anger about the whole thing. It's profoundly sad, can we move on? Please, can we? All right, so next up, Heather, in a wild card moment, pulls the fan of driving around

and crushing burritos out of the laundry room Wild card moment, pulls the fan of driving around and crushing burritos out of the laundry room and onto service. Before she goes onto service though, she's got to show Frazier the ropes and where the rotting breadfruit is. Now Frazier is a caddy bitch, but it's insane that there was rotting fruit atop one of the machines in the room Where all of the clean till and it was a rotten vagina in there Frazier said it was a rotten vagina

I want to take that man it is word And I believe it was a misspepp on his part Part to not contact the authorities immediately. Yeah, yeah, there was a bag of a rotten vagina I feel like for Johnny's get a bad rap because balls can smell pretty god damn bad too, you know what I mean. But that's why you spend you could say rotten balls or you could say rotten vagina. Rachel was actually the one that said rotten vagina and Frazier took her at it. Yeah, yeah, it was a fun like a fun gauge of. I was most disgusted by that there's something called breadfruit, I mean, carbs on top of sugar, am I right?

Yeah, yeah, no. It's a common thing eaten by a Jamaican's. Bum, bop, bop. Make me go up, up, up. Dylan, was this chat-hacks? We're doing a press of chat-hacks. Yeah, we talked about my chat. I think you're making it.

Does Heather fully explain the purpose of this switcheroo other than for fodder for the TV audience, because as you mentioned at the top of the show, this is merely foisting in competence on wealthy people. It's a move made to do so. Oh, you wanna celebrate cancer and you surviving it? Well, here's Jess, she's a cat, but a human too. Her explanation for it was to help pull her out of her funk

and why not pull, what a better way to pull someone out of their funk than putting them into position. Well, actually, now that I say that, that could be someone. No, no, but it wouldn't work in this situation because Jess is not good with people. She doesn't like people. She's very, very scared. She reminds me of, yeah, but also Vanessa Bayer's character

in what we do in the shadows, she's an energy vampire, she just goes around, she's sad, and she sucks the life out of everybody. I gotta watch the other shows. I gotta watch that show. One of the funniest shows, unbelievably funny. So. She the woman that looks like Victoria P from the Queen first.

She's the one that played the little Jewish boy on SNL who's about to get but mitzvah he when I don't understand okay so I mean I fell for the last five years anyone want to cover Jake shouting distances out just I mean I know it's not perfect but just divide by three to get get the feet there Jake roughly yeah yeah so just wrapping up on the Frazier Jessica thing, Jessica says, you can get the laundry in order and slap someone on the chest

and he says someone's gotta do it. So nasty. And Petty, things are getting so nasty between this crew. I don't see Jess finishing out the season. I'm just gonna make that. I don't have a crystal ball, but. Oh, I don't see Jess finish in out the season. I'm just gonna make that. I don't have a crystal ball, but. Oh, we'll get to that.

The next episode is called like, lean as plane tickets or something. So, you may be honest, something. But, damn it! I was actually surprised how much this little extremely passive aggressive interaction was glossed over by the show. They just did it and like, usually he would have ran

to Heather and like mentioned that because that was cutting. It was, she did the condescending tap on the shoulder from Jess, the somebody's got to do it from Frazier. It was highlighted the episode. It was nasty. It was so nasty.

And continuing with the thick and palpable passive aggression, when Jess is looking for, you know, some, I don't know, utensil that's probably very easy to find. Heather says, just open everything up. Always open everything up. I didn't find this passive aggressive. I felt like that was actually good leadership.

Like, I've been mostly on Jess's side, but I hate when people ask for things. It's a very small area. And the only way you're gonna learn where things are is to open everything up. My thing is that on her first day of service, maybe tell her where things are rather than relying on the ghosts from the sixth sense method.

You know what I mean? I guess it is hard for cats to open cabinets. Yeah, extremely hard. And it's impressive when they do, but it takes a long time. And it goes viral on TikTok. And it goes viral on TikTok, but it's just really nasty.

Things are getting so nasty between this crew. And also, the guests are on their way. Don't you love the, it's just the tails all this time. First episode, we're like, wow, what a, what a functioning cohesive crew we have here. Snap to episode eight and they're at each other's throat. It's getting us people are going to be sent home. So all this is happening while the guests are on their way. They're in a mad scramble to inflate the water slide and put furniture in the right place. They make it by the skin of their teeth

and they welcome the guests on board. One of whom says nice mustache, chuchu, to Jake, implying that she wants him to eat or pussy from the bottom. After literally just meeting him, I mean, that's crazy. Great job on nailing that subtext. Yeah. I believe it was mustache rides were made famous by super troopers.

The great independent comedy for a moment broken lizard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, you skipped over the part where Lee is down on the platform and the guest right there. I'm like, God damn it, you're on the wrong platform. Right, right. God damn it, see right? God damn it.

Okay. So the tour is given, beer is drank, and Lynn Rachel talked about her nipples. We get a lot of meanwhile here. Jess can't find Voov. Heather says, what are you talking about? It's in the fridge right by your hand because she didn't open everything up.

Meanwhile, the laundry crime scene and all its sins are cleaned up. Mm-hmm. Do you guys have anything before we get to lunch? I can't wait to hear what you have to say about hot dogs. Well, that's exactly what lunch is. It's hamburgers and hot dogs. I want to say that it's beautiful

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It might make you optimistic. Our low mileage is paying off. Our values up. And it might make you realistic. Hmm, car prices haven't gone up in a couple of weeks. Maybe it's time to sell. But it will definitely make you an expert on your car's value. Carvana Value Tracker. Visit Carvana.com to start tracking your car's value today. However, but, you know, and bringing awareness and all that stuff, but, you know,

let's not miss words. These people are trash. I reluctantly agree. No, I'm kidding. Hamburgers and hot dogs, sir. They're good foods. I just wanted to be known that I believe I am trash and I would have been delighted by such a meal. Really? Oh, man, once we eventually crowdfund our charter yacht trip,

you don't think I'm gonna be like young Marshall and getting me specifically delivered chicken tenders. Yeah, what's for different hot dogs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have any relish and Crout I know we're out of yacht, but if you guys could make this as sizzler as possible But slit is sizzler bacon potato wedges a sizzler with cheese toast as much of it as possible Can you turn off your phone?

What is the word that fucking Rachel uses to shavaz it up or whatever? Damn it. Alright, so Jake and Wes have a pretty fun interaction here. It's very nasty. You didn't move your phone. Did you make a, of course, I did. Oh, okay. I'm doing not to start. Okay. So I kind of like Jake style of management here. He's a dictator. He's he's very mean, but it's also like He's a dick, but I get the vibe that like tater. He said it won't be an Issue, you know going out like it's not He's not a spiteful man. I mean he looks at everybody is though there are sex toy

But he's not a spiteful man I think that, he looks at everybody as though there are sex toy, but he's not a spiteful man. I think that he can have this conversation be pretty intense with him. Be a little bit too intense and then just have by God's be by God's. And how about Reina just immediately when they were getting a little pep talk? She's like, I'm not gonna listen to you when she left.

Right, right, right. It's a little weird that the guy the night before is trying to put his ding dong in one of your holes. And the next day he's schooling young, I don't know what he's yelling at him for but I don't know it doesn't work for it. Was it a pep talk with a three with him and and Rayna? I thought he was just screaming at West. Yeah, I still put it in West's. No, that's a good point. All three of them were in the galley and he just said oh we need to go faster

and Rayna just got up she's like I'm going to get dressed. Got it. Yeah. And then and then West took the brunt of it. And I actually agree with Jake. I mean, West, West is an island boy. You know what, rain and West should do. They should talk to each other and go like, look, I don't want to deal with this guy anymore. What do we got against them? Get them where as hard as, say, Jake,

if you continue to talk like that with me, I will never, never allow you to put something in my hole. Good point. And it'll be like, God damn it. I want to ruin that opportunity. Right, exactly. Hot take. Because broken sex toys are or not you can't fuck them no no you can't shove them up you know they're useless no all right so um

tady party set up yeah so Jess is having a pretty yeah you know typical sea rat panic um sea rat breakdown yeah the tension with Lloyd has gotten her to a place where she might not be able to take anymore. Why did I say Lloyd? He's a cast member from last season, Frazier. The tension with Frazier has gotten to a point where she might not be able to take it anymore. And I really hope she doesn't leave because I enjoy her being the aforementioned energy vampire and she fulfills a very, very important function of the show as we've said, subjecting the wealthy to incompetence. So, and I want West to get laid. Yeah, I think I ship them. I ship them. I totally ship them. All right, let's get to dinner. Dinner! Lee sits down and thanks them for allowing him to be part of their evening. Any thoughts on that angle, Pat?

I thought that might urqu you a little bit. I'm part of him being on the show, Erick's me. Okay. So, by the way, I figured this out. You know, K-Chastain, friend of the show, Queen of the Sea. Sure. She's cozy and back up against these people. Cozy and up with them again.

I've seen multiple photos of her out and various engagements. I think She knows where her bread is but it obviously, but the more she couses up with them the less she can you know respond back to me when I reach out to her You know what I mean Kate comes back. She apologized via text for not responding to you. She's not to me. Kate comes back true Bumps Heather down a peg, and then we get that. That would be lovely. I'd love that. I would be love.

I put it on Do Not Disturb. I mean, you can see it right here. You can see it right here. How about, how about, yeah. It only, it only works if Do Not Disturb doesn't work if you have the screen up. I'm having internal trouble. Your Tommy Hartson, he's using his pain to cover up that third ding.

I knew everything wasn't right the last time we discussed it. All right, so anyways, man, you can have your sound on the primary. Just kidding, don't do it again. He's a fun guy. He loves his dogs more than his daughters because the dogs don't talk back. And it may have turned one of his daughters into a sex crazed maniac because she also, she wants Jake to sit on her face or she wants to sit on Jake's face. She also has a crush on Rachel.

This woman just wants a piece of everybody. Is that the daughter or his longtime girlfriend? I think it's the daughter. I think it was a longtime girlfriend. I think it's the daughter who needs to take her tits out in front of her father in the next episode. We'll get there. Don't make a poll, it's out.

Huh, don't let me get a tits out. We have dinner yet. Yes, we are. Oh, can I do a meanwhile? Yes. Meanwhile, in somewhat little sharp barnacle caught this, Jess used the same tile she was using to clean the goddamn toilet to rub the bath counter.

The thing that was in the toilet ends up on the bath counter. Now did they? So I won't be eating at her house ever or having dirty napkin. Hey, huh? So yeah, just right? Hmm? This is why I'm glad you're here, because I normally went in my room if it was just a side probably roll with it and even exasperate the situation.

The worst part about that is the assumption that you would be invited to our home for dinner. And that's so presumptuous of you. You're better than that. Also, I always love, I love when the barna-close give us little tips, but unless there was some bird man-esque shot of her walking with the same rag that she cleaned the toilet with to the counter, I believe they may have towels that look the same. It was a single shot. It was. It was bird man. Are you saying it was bird man?

Well, I'm sorry, I'm confused. All right. So the food for the evening is steak and potatoes literally Which is totally fine and it's You know it's oh because it was counter in the bathroom. I got you. Okay, so it's bram wiped a little Drips of drips of piss off and then wiped The you know she used the piss from the toilet as kind of a lubricant to clean the countertop a very very small Yeah, yeah, yeah, and in a bird man

So the dessert comes out Lee has never seen a dessert so discombobulated Now I was gonna say Nick you're a lover of puns and we all hate fake captain Lee But I thought this was a goddamn knee slapper. I accept it wasn't because it's such a reach, because unless he's talking shit about Rachel's, it would have to be discombobulated to then be discombobulated just with the boots. I feel like it was a well put together dessert,

and I can't think of something to work boots into that. I thought it was spectacular well put together dessert and I can't think of something to work with into that. I thought it was spectacular. Right, exactly. And like many of his epic fails in the one-liner department, this is right on par with them. At least he's consistent the old balding bastard. I'm extremely proud of spectacular.

Yeah, I know, it's really good. So before the night is up, we need to have a conversation with Jess and Heather. Is this the improv toptu employee review? Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are awesome. So Jake and Heather, both have pretty intense styles of leadership.

Now, I don't fault Heather for this because there's not a lot that can save Jess. You know, at a certain point, you just have to admit that someone who wants to do really nothing but nap and drive around in ePoritos might not be the best at serving the 1%. And the conversation really doesn't go well. She walks into the bedroom and tells Reina about the talking

to to which Reina says, I would tell her to suck my non-existent cock, which is one way to handle it. I get to an ad read? Not quite yet. We'll leave a little buffer between the cock talk and the ad read, but I've waffled back and forth on this particular interaction, but I actually think it was a decent letting Jess know

where she stands. I think so too, honestly. My problem with it was there, like Jess said, there was no mill ground. She was hearing for a while that she was doing a good job. Well, we lied to you to try and make you feel better. Well, great. I love your tactic, but you had me under the impression I

wasn't doing a shitty job. Yes. So that was my problem with it. But if you just take it in a vacuum, I thought it was a pretty good talk. I'm just like, this is what we need from you, up the standard. And just message received after many sea repract? Well, I thought it was a bit too abrasive,

you don't say training is over. That was too much training day, yeah, you're not dense though. And then I love it because I'm the one who coined the phrase, when you're a sea rat and you're interior in your third stew or something, you're basically a maid on the water. And she said she doesn't want to be a maid on the water for life.

She probably listens to our show. Hey Jess, King Kong does have shit on you. Birdman. All right, so let's talk a little bit about man's escape before we move on into the show. Everybody, it is the holiday season. You got to get gifts for yourself. You got to get gifts for the people you love in your life. There's no better place to do it

that it man scaped.com. And if you have hairy people in your life that you have to give gifts for, wait till Dylan tells you about this. Yeah, I mean, you got spideys coming out of your nose, you know, use the weed whacker. You want to make your genitals glisten and not scare your partner and make them sad that they're with you use the lawn mower

I mean all this stuff is absolutely incredible. It's great for stocking stuffers our top five would probably be the Manscafe 2 and 1 conditioner. I've been using it. You know, I don't like using two bottles I don't like using two bottles. I don't like washing my hair period It's just a couple squirts out of one thing you pop it in your hair. You smell so fresh. It's like, it's not musk, you know, because musk is gross. It's just clean and woody. Musk has a horrible connotation. It's definitely not musk. Not musk. Another one, the Manscaped Colonial Juice Body Wash. Sheers 2.0, the Luxury 4-piece nail kit, the crop mobs, ball wipes for your stanky balls, and man scape signature cologne.

These are all amazing things to get the people you love most in your life. And you can get 20% off, and free shipping at manscape.com, with promo code below deck that is 20% off, and free shipping at manscape.com, with promo code below deck. And I hope this doesn't hurt our relationship

with the advertiser, but just a little tip. I hope they come out with the manscape vacuum because man, what do I do with this giant pile after I'm finished? Yeah, okay, that's a great idea for them. I think it is. You know, you could do. I have something that I do do,

but what are you gonna say that I should do no no no no what do you do well? You don't give it to birds so they can nest in it no no no no Jewels got me this thing and it's got to say she That's your ex girlfriend that was a while ago. Yeah, she got me these things It is two suction cups with hooks and then you put on this bib. Yeah. She took that when she left? No, that's a little intense. No, I have that. Okay, but the bib is usually for shaving your beard But I have figured out a way to fashion around my waist and then you just wrap it all up Boom, and then you take it out. That's really sweet. But it's still a weird put like where do you shake it out?

I can't just do it in my driveway people were like what what is this bird's nest That you know you can I used to do it all the time. No, just do it in my driveway. People were like, what is this bird's nest? That you can. I used to do it all the time. No, I do it in the dumpster. It's fine. So get all of the incredible products, and then do, it's not man's capes fucking job

to, it's your job to problem solve after that point. But I'm just saying if they had a vacuum, then you could go to man's cape.com and get it for 20% off plus free shipping with promo code below deck. One last call, the action with a little personal anecdote here. I dated a girl like 20 years ago, her, I guess her ex-boyfriend had a, you know, a kickstand for a ding dong.

She made me feel small. Like I wasn't, you know, had a sufficient size penis. I started shaving back then. I used man scape now. Everybody knows this, we've been hearing this. Well, I had two choices. I could start dating a little person and get that whole force perspective.

The little hand would obviously make my ding dong look bigger, right? Are you talking about like five four? What are you talking about? Like three, three, nine? Three, nine. Exactly. I'm just gonna see what that grasp looks around you in the back.

Hey, Matt's day, I hope this is good. I hope you guys like this check. Hey, 5.4 is not gonna, not a little person. That's not gonna give you government assistance. You gotta be under 5 foot to get government assistance. What are you saying? Oh, or my second choice was to shave down to the skin. The lot more 4.0.

I got two extra inches out of that. I realized, what do I need this girl for? I dumped her immediately and I've been having a flourishing sex life for the last 20 years. And now I use their products to keep up. It's not often that you can literally do magic and you can do magic at manscafe.com. promo.com, blood, 20% off for sure.

Well, what if we're ex-boyfriend then? Oh my God, he got two more inches. All right, so next day. Next day. Hahaha. Jess wakes up with a different tone. I have a renewed sense of purpose, I would say. Yeah, she's gonna be a team player.

I appreciate that. Like, it's a new day. Attack. Yeah. I want to be good. Sleeping on things doesn't work for me really. I wake up in this almost the same exact head space. Every time I try to sleep on something.

All right, so breakfast is donuts and eggs Benedict. That's going to be served to people who are going on jet skis in a moment. And then we get to the slides I'll twist it up gate as Nick texted us. So West finds it difficult to straighten out the slide on the Skadoo and it is made more challenging with Lee yelling expressions at him. He's talking about molar and curly and Mount Vesuvius. I mean, he's just going absolutely insane

and people are trying to solve it problemly. I love that you just Rod Bergen need your own notes and you said molar and curly. Do you know what that was supposed to be? The three stuages. Molarian curly. Molar and curly. Is that what it says there?

Molar? Like a lot too? Yeah, the most known avat and Castella and molar and curly. All jokes aside, if I'm Eddie, they kill themselves because known avat and Castella and molar and curl all jokes aside if I'm at he killed themselves because of avat and Castella success and the steroids yeah I think it's a deep call is in that true if I'm atty right here and I'm getting see and Lee act up like this I would be I do to Lee what I do to my dog Jackie when he's parking at the mailman get out of here. Get out of here. Get get out of here. That

did sound exactly like we do yells at his dog. Great impression of you. Great impression of you. So Eddie because he suffers from a very very real case of Stockholm syndrome, begins absolutely losing it and slams rain in the face with one of those dubious or whatever you call them naughty boys. Eddie is called up to the main house and I don't know I got a vibe of like Charlie Manson talking one of his followers down. It was very, very sad. Anyways, Eddie sucks his dick I'm referring to Lee but then when he leaves the world he's

like I'm fucking sick of this old fuck. Yeah, yeah. You don't think there was defectors in the Manson favor? There were. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. One girl, she had a kid that Charlie and the family were keeping, so whenever she'd go out to do the bidding of Charlie, she was concerned, I got to do this because when I come back,

I don't want them to hurt my kid, and she got that kid, and she got the hell out of there. You know, I don't know if this is a real story, but it really spooked the shit out of me when I was reading it. It's in Quentin Tarantino's piece of shit derivative novelization of Once Upon a Time. I thought you liked that book. It was good and then he just kept listing people from the 40s and 50s who are actors and movies. It's not very good. What is also a book? Yeah, he just wanted to make a little bit. More after was that after?

Yeah, it was after. But anyways, there's a story of one of the, what do you call them, the family, one of the families? Manson family? Yeah, what'd you call them? But there is Halter Skelter. Well anyways, it's this girl and she gets naked and she goes into, she breaks into these people's home

and it's this elderly couple. And it's this horrifying scene where gets naked and she goes into, she breaks into these people's home and it's this elderly couple and it's this horrifying scene where she's walking through the house and she's hearing Charlie Manson's head, our voice in her head and then she goes upstairs and they're sleeping and it's just this old couple they haven't done anything to her

and she pops in a red spooky light bulb in their bedside table and then turns it on and then starts dancing on top of their bed on naked and then she runs out of the house, scared the absolute piss out of me. That's a real story. I think so. I think they actually did that stuff.

And I wanna apologize to you, to you and to the audience for even bringing that up. It's okay. We're here to talk below deck. Well, we're done though. We're done. Yeah. Great, but relatively quick episode.

I don't think your anecdote heard it at all. All right, great. So let's get to the meanwhile. Meanwhile, Raina tells Frazier about Jess being so sad. Frazier doesn't care. Then Frazier gets the compliment that he needed so badly from Captain Lee for some reason, who delivers it hunched over a cutting board in the sink.

And then we get to Jake and Raina screaming at each other with the guests directly above them. Right before that, when Raina told Frazier about Jess, like what happened, what happened? You fucking gnarth, just tried to turn over a new leaf. She's like, I'm gonna wake up with a new attitude. And then they hear on the day that she has a new attitude that she's just moping around again.

Stay out of it, Reina. Are you a friend or are you not? You can suck my non-existent dick. You can't. I'm sorry. You shouldn't have done that, Reina. Right. You got there in the end.

So anyways, they're screaming, the guests are directly above them and we'll pick this back up next week with more of Jess not being sure if she's reaching her breaking point and a warning from Captain Lee to his staff. Until next time. Jumping out to his range and reviewing five stars, kind boards. And actually really do it. It would be nice to hit like 1500. Go ahead, do it.

Hey, guys, right now, if you haven't left a review or maybe just use your daughter's account or something like that, go over and give us five stars and a few words please. Take a train, just phone. And also, if you're finished with this and you're like, wow, that was the greatest 43 minutes of my life, I want to hear more of these guys. Check out our free feed, another podcast show,

where we just goof and gab about whatever comes to mind. Yeah, really whatever is the top of mind..com you can find a bunch of coverage of below dex seasons of your there. Patreon.com. Oh yeah what's the website. Patreon.com slash another podcast network. Manscapes.com promo code below deck you know what to do we love you guys for listening we'll be back next week I'm Dylan saying goodbye Nick say goodbye.

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