Another Below Deck Podcast - Spring Rolls Cut In Half | Below Deck Down Under S4 E6

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

Dylan and Pat are back to break down kids names, caviar, metaphors, gossip, Starbucks cake pops, amazon packages, Sylvester Stallone, spring rolls and more from Bravo's Below Deck Down UnderPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Alicia says that she knows her boyfriend is cool with her flirting with people. But texting that you can't get someone out of your head might have gone a little bit too far. How about laying next to a guy while you're drinking wine and then calling him babe? Yeah. Where's that sit? Well, also maybe like if I was a boyfriend, I'd be like, yeah, that stuff's cool. Why did you get like emotionally violent towards the woman that was kissing him? There wasn't you.

That's a little weird. Hi, alone. Welcome to another brand spanking new episode of Bad TV. I'm Dylan. That is Pat. Great to be here. Cailen, the great. Cailin is here behind the ones and twos. Hello. What an episode we have this evening. Oh, what a joyous episode we have this evening. We are welcoming Mecca and the gang. That's a name, huh? Well, I like the name Joy. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You do. Well, names are interesting. When I heard the name Joy, I was like, How can you be a horrible person if your name is Joy? Right.

I mean, I'm not speaking of Joy, the charter guests. I haven't met her yet. Right. But, you know, you can name your kid Happy. Have you ever rid an obituary where someone jumped off a building and their name was happy? I don't think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It almost sets you up for life to be a good person. Yeah, if you were writing an obituary about an asshole named Happy, there would be this kind of tug of war with the irony there that, you know, like, I got to be respectful, but my God. So I think if I ever have another kid, I'm going to call him Smiley. Okay. I'm not going to be like Nick Cannon. I think he named one of his fucking kids like car part or something.

Yeah, yeah. Something stupid like that. Now that kid can be an asshole. Yeah. Piston. Yeah. Piston. No, I think he literally called him car part. No, no, he didn't.

Guys, listen, patreon.com slash another podcast network has behind or, you know, I want to stop framing it as behind this wall. You know, this is open. There is no moat. This is just an open door. You can come. Not, you can come in. You can come in. And this is what we're going to do

to start teasing you, Mother Fers. Dylan and I want to grow this goddamn show. And the only way we can do that is if you guys start, I guess not crossing anything, but start helping us out a little bit. You know,

throw a little in the hopper for the two of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so we're going to start teasing you with the stuff, giving you little niblets of what the others are getting. Yeah, Marie has many peloton's and I've asked for one and Pat has via Sherey said no you can't have them. I said you don't need five and he said it's none of your fucking business.

But I do want a rowing machine. So if you guys could go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. All joking aside, we have Love is Blind. We're starting summer house there and yeah, there's lots of fun content coming to the free feed of bad TV. Bachelorette is starting and Rhode Island is coming down the pie. Like there's lots of fun stuff. Ruby's trying to talk us into doing season three on Mormon wives. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, there's a lot of fun stuff. But Patreon.com slash another podcast network donate a little or a little bit more. I got a grisly note from my doctor. We got to talk about this on APS. Oh, wow. Is it bad news? It's not bad news. It's just one of these like, 35 is obviously not elderly.

But this is the first kind of fracture in my youth from a medical lens. like we're talking no one's ever used the word statin when referencing my health oh boy and that is anyways we'll talk about it i'll tell you this dylan enjoy the next five years you hit 40 it's all down fuck me all right um kailin's a young man what are you 23 i will be 34 in april all right um let's get i think i lose track of my age sometimes 30 33 Jesus Christ. Yeah, 34. Okay.

I forget. Evidently. All right, Maca and the gang. Yeah. That's the name. Come to this boat, which I don't know that we know this boat. What's it called? I forget.

Who cares? Oh, did you hear, by the way, that guy is suing bravo? Amil. Good luck with that one, pal. Do you remember signing that contract that was the size of a phone book? It said they can do anything they want to you. Yeah. Well, not sexually assault, but he was.

Who knows if he was at, you know, I mean, what did this guy? Can male sea rats get sexually assaulted? I mean, I guess they can, but they're usually, they kind of monopolize the sexual assault. I don't think, wait, I got, maybe I got this story wrong. I thought he didn't like that he was portrayed as sexually assaulting someone. Oh, really? I could be wrong. Because that's what I was what I was thinking.

I was like, I thought you were a creep or something. Anyways, I thought it was a fantastic episode. Alicia's boyfriend. Harrison. We must pray for. I think it's Lent right now. This is a holy period. We should light some incense.

Some, what did the three wise men? Mur and what Frankenstein? Just light whatever for him. Yeah, I wish I warned him. Dating a sea rat, if you're dating a sea rat, your relationship is about as solid as jello. Yeah. Which you can smush right through that shit.

Sorry Harrison Sorry Sorry Harrison Yeah So we've got that We've got Ben Just in a I've never really seen

This trick pulled So you okay I got something Something in there I've never seen this trick pulled where A dish is offered right And they go Can we have some more of that

And then you just take less of the dish, but you cut it into little pieces, and then you give it to them as a way to try to trick the paying guess into. Ben is firing on all cylinders. And I mean, you know, incompetently, but it's really, really a joy to watch. A few of these characters are doing that same shit. Oh, yeah, for sure. Mikey is, my goodness gracious, did the lip filler meet the character tonight? They were just in complete unity. It was like Super Say and Four. 90 pots. Wow. Okay. I mirror a lot of your knots. Mikey, where did you come from? You gossipy little bitch. You're a son of a bitch. If you ever did this to me, I'd beat the shit out of you. But you're not doing it to me.

You're doing it to Alicia, so I'm fully enjoying it. Right, right, right. I had no idea you had this in you. Yeah. So bravo. Unabashed. He was told to stop gossiping. And what did he do? He ran down hallway and continued gossiping. I know. My God. It's like trying to tell a bull to stop doing something. They won't even listen. They'll just keep doing it. Yeah. All right. Now on Eddie, I don't know what this man was thinking. Obviously, an amateur. He destroyed any chance with any romance with anybody on the boat. No, he didn't. Why don't you keep your goddamn mouth shut? No, sea rats have the memory of a goldfish. He'll be fine. I don't know. I think it's just he's going to be left to himself in that goddamn goofy haircut. No, no, no. All right. Lastly, Ben. That'll be fine.

Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben. Okay. Don't we usually have food awaiting guests when they arrive on the boat? We don't assume that they've had a hearty breakfast that morning. And even so if they did. Right, right, right. How about some finger foods? A little platter of sushi.

Also, he said it's not my fault they didn't eat breakfast. So I know these are your pots, but I feel a little, I want to apologize for the negligent coverage of last. week's meal. We discussed the kind of car crash, as all of the meals have been, which was a coconut savié with caviar going into, I believe, a gazpacho and then a salt. It was all over the place. But what I failed to mention was that this was the cowboy dinner. Ben, for the cowboy dinner, did not serve Tomahawk steaks, did not serve fire, like charbroiled corn, suck attached. What, whatever you are.

You don't think John Wayne ate caviar? I think John Wayne ate caviar. I don't think the people he was emulating out there on the range ate caviar. Just, it dawned on me after our coverage. What an insane human being this is to serve coconut saviche on cowboy night. What the fuck are you doing? It's amazing. I've been crying out for this.

And I think the producers really do listen to the show. We can't have these chefs that are doing a good job anymore. We can't do that. But who could have predicted, Chef Ben, the beloved chef, some would say that he may have launched this series with his wit, his cooking awesomeness. That same person would be non-consensually spraying shit on your windshield. and then asking you to pay them for it. Have that happen every Wednesday when I'm downtown.

Very annoying. Yeah. All right. Where else am I with this? This was a great episode. I mean, I want to say Captain Hot Pants got in the mud a little bit, talking shit about the charter guests wanting food.

God forbid! Yeah, yeah. Five-star service. Wow. And they are bitches, but, you know, it's fine. You're paying that much, and I do believe they are back to charging these charter guests. Oh, really?

I think so. No, listen. No one would be a bigger bitch than us if we went on this charter. True. You know, so I'm all for it. Okay. I enjoyed the episode. I think the charter guests are a delight.

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Those are my notes for housewives. All right, I'll get us started here. Okay, so we wake up the next morning, and for some reason, if this is often the case, multiple sea rats have amnesia. They don't remember what the hell happens on those nights out. Well, no, that's what happens when you black out. Oh, right, right, right.

Yeah, yeah. So Eddie doesn't even remember that text exchange going back for. Somehow I don't know how that works. I'll tell you. You slam back two beers at dinner, maybe a celebratory shot. You pet a feral dog on your way to another bar. You start developing a rash. And then you slam back seven more shots of something.

Get back to the boat, get in the jacuzzi, drink a bottle of wine. You wake up, you have no idea what happened. You still have that rash, though. Can't touch him. Don't touch him. Well, he shares the text exchange with his buddy, Mikey. Yeah. And Mikey, he quotes a great orator.

He says, well, maybe she's a quote unquote, free spirit. Saw what you did there, Mikey. Man, here I am thinking he was going to, we could go Billy Crystal or Barack Obama, maybe even Socrates or something. Nope. He was talking about him. himself. A great orator. Yeah. No, you are. You are. I really believe that. But yes, and then you can go ahead now. Okay. Yeah. I want to talk about those texts, because that doesn't, forgetting about sending texts, that doesn't pass the mustard for this podcaster. Would that stand up in any court?

I'm so blown away that you could be so confused as to how these sea rats blacked out. I mean, these, these texts were sent moments before. the drool started to seep on the pillow. Of course they don't remember this. Did you want to do a judge and defendant kind of? Oh, I got better. Okay. All right. Mr. Eddie. Oh, it's Senator John Kennedy. I see here, you texted a woman that you quote unquote wanted to drop huge loads on her

Fights until she looked like Ice cream melting. Did I get that straight? All right. Your word's not mine. Okay. Fuck. Your words, not mine. You know, you've gotten more juvenile in your old age. You think so?

Oh, yeah. All right, let's get into the 30th second of the show. We wake to a customary C-Rap morning. This is a ritual. It's a kind of hangover to a dissociated point, right? You have a dry mouth and a dry brain. The fluid in your body.

It's like SpongeBob on land. But we reminisce through what happened the night before. The guys are talking. The girls are talking. And basically what happened is that Alicia's boyfriend, he's in the garage right now. The car is running. Oh, he's taking a tube out of the gas tank?

Yeah. Yep, big time. You know what? That's a sad way to go. It is. He drives a Tesla though, so it'll be okay. Alicia says that she knows her boyfriend is cool with her flirting with people. But texting that you can't get someone out of your head might have gone a little bit too far. How about laying next to a guy while you're drinking wine and then calling him babe?

Yeah. Where's that sit? Well, also maybe like if I was a boyfriend, I'd be like, yeah, that stuff's cool. Why did you get like emotionally violent towards the woman that was kissing him that wasn't you? that's a little weird. But Ben is pissed that Eddie got a little smooch from Jenna. I would say to Ben, that's what happens when you act like a bitch. You take the night off.

You can't be a poopy pants, you little punk. I think Ben needed that, though. Yeah, he definitely did that because he needs a reset. He really does. No good deed goes unpunished, though, because the fan is out in the oven. We'll get to that in a second. Oh, yeah. I was going to say, Mikey somehow becomes the moral compass on the boat because he feels a need to remind Alicia.

multiple times that she's acting like a very bad girlfriend. Yeah. Right. Mikey. Stay the fuck out. Kindly. Fuck off. I mean,

what is going on? You don't need to like as a man earnestly dress down a woman for how she's, a woman you don't know for how she's acting in her role as girlfriend. That's like so bizarre to me. Yeah. You leave it up to Harrison. And if he wants to pull his car. into a garage and close the door.

Which he does. And, you know. Yeah. That's between them. Star-crossed lovers. All right. So Ben is one of these people that needs to be in a Zen environment. I don't know what world he's living in, but he said those words.

He said that the delays have been on the discombobulation of the kitchen because of Ellie. Oh, he did blame that on her? A little bit. Yeah. Well, this is a side swipe at Ellie. Really, I mean, but he did. two charters before she ever showed up. How's he explained away that? Well, when he was kind of explaining, what I took away from it is that him finally getting this kitchen in order was a metaphor

for him wanting to get his life in order. And that oven fan shitting out still in the metaphor, was his fiance, fiance blowing that dude two weeks before the wedding? Ouch. Metaphors. Yeah. This has nothing to do with. with that. Can you imagine that? Just the sounds, the tonsils screaming for help. And he's like, what is going on? You know, $50,000 wedding, my God. All right. So we move on to Jenna's first mustache being Eddie. Jenna is my favorite person on this show. She is totally chill, totally fine, had a great time with Eddie, right? Little smooch. But the thing about Jenna is that she finds Eddie's

blue-collar way is disgusting and beneath her. She is, she's a kind of like an aristocratic sea rat. She is disgusted by the poor. She's disgusted by people that work with their hands. But yet she's attracted to that type. Not really. How about Chef Ben?

Well, I can't remember who said this, but, um, If you work with your hands, you're a laborer. If you work with your hands and your mind, you're a craftsman. If you work with your hands, your heart, and your mind, you're an artist. Ben, I think to Jenna, because she's a delusional sea rat who has contempt for the poor, even though she's poor. Right.

Thinks that Ben is an artist, some kind of high flyer. Right. Yeah. Well, look, every rich lady has sex with the pool guy, right? Yeah. come on they have great abdominal strength lug pulling that net through the water it's a good workout so um we get to the cell phone of it all and because eddie was

legitimately blacked out he forgot that he sent a couple of hail marys at 3 a.m. Um, one of which said I would drop her in a second to be an alien with you which I don't understand. I don't know if that's a foreign thing or I'm Kaelin your mother's uh British. Does that make it How about alone? Maybe a misspelling? Alone. Yeah. Did you mean to say? There we go. Alone.

Number one answer. Yeah, I get that straight. Yeah. I would be alien with you. I mean, how could he remember? I don't even know what that means. He meant to say alone, but the worst, I didn't think that Mikey was going to be such a gossipy bitch when I wrote this note. But the worst person you could be transparent about this with is Jewish. because joow is jouow is a snake in the grass you can trust no one on this boat especially not joow okay

i think you can trust jenna i think jenna would go to the fucking grave with stuff i love jenna anyways joe ow and daisy uh we once again uh bring up these edicts that the two of them follow uh that being nut banging the crew oh no no what's i what's especially ironic especially i ironic is that these edicts, while they, they mean nothing, they're empty. They're, they're kind of like saltines, these these edicts. They'll break them with each other in a few short weeks. Oh, yeah. It's really, really exciting stuff. I'm looking forward to it. Now, um, they, I believe, oh, no, no, we get up to this moment where Alicia over hears Mikey gossiping. Well, and then this was weird because then,

because I guess she overheard it, Jowal then says, you know what, while we're all here, come on over. I think Mikey was the one. I don't know who's, I think Mikey was the one that said sit down. And then we start this Lord of the Flies, you know, a half circle of shame, which was this,

there was a moment where I saw Mikey doing this high wire thing where he was like, this is inappropriate, how am I going to pull this off? And then he just continued doing it anyways. Like, sit a female co-worker down and condemn her for being disloyal to her boyfriend while the other two guys watch it's like in judgment yeah uh what the fuck are you guys doing by the way how about your buddy over there

eddie isn't he guilty for texting a girl that has a boyfriend yeah um not stuff yeah come on mikey i like you dude uh alicia flips understandably and daisy has to intervene mike after being condemned Alicia screaming at him, Daisy screaming at him, continues to go down the hall and gossip with, I believe, Jenna. Yes. It's just really, really, the rumor and the lip filler need to,

there's no need for either, Mikey, I would say. You're a handsome young man. Let's just cut it out. Now, Daisy did a good job here. You know, she warns them like, cut it out, knock it off. None of your effing business. Right.

So. We have to take a moment and we have to stop, pause and take a breath to get to the Preference shape, Mayday! The founders of Pink Magazine are on their way, Mecca and Joy. Mecca has high standards and Joy is the mean one. That's what they said. Now, we'll find out. We'll see, I don't know, Mecca seems like the one that's kind of a monster, but excited to

crown queen b um but speaking of b there's one that's just named b that's right i want to just be named a letter just call me d be much easier at the dmv yes and how about starbucks your name d d d e no d yeah these starbucks people my wife i i coached her up by the way this is for anybody who frequents places where they need to write your name on a goddamn cup. Bob, I'm Bob. Thank you. Don't try and say your name for them to write it on the goddamn bag or cup. My wife used to go, Sheree, you should see how confusing that would be for people.

I said, say your name is Kat. Yeah, that's it. I'm a little flummoxed by what our bandwidth for the horseshit that goes on at Starbucks. We're immediately accosted with a request for our name. why do you need my name? I'm in a drive-thru. Why do you need my name? Does Carl's Jr.

Ask me what my name is when I'm ordering too much fucking cancerous meat patties? No. It's just a sequential thing. And then we get up and it's the tip thing. It's always the tip thing. What is with this snooty coffee house serving overroasted beans and pink strawberry drinks? I've had enough. I haven't been to star.

Starbucks in 10 years. That's a lie. I haven't been inside a Starbucks in 10 years. That's not true. You used to go get cake pops with Ellie all the time. No, no, no. Her mother gets her cake pops. All right.

Those are good, though. Are they? You just eat one. It's so good. Really? All you need is one. Do you go in one blow or do you... No, you got to just take your time with that.

Really? How many bites you take out of a cake box? Take like five. No, that's crazy. that's way too many bites. I don't think so. Small little bites from you. Wow.

I don't even, I don't want to see that. This is a bad show so far, right? I love it. Okay. So we get to Mikey and Ellie. Well, I was going to say they want five-star service

and I was like, whoa boy, Daisy's going to really need to put those sigs down for this one. Five bites out of a fucking cake box. That's crazy. All right. Mikey and Ellie. Mikey is really into Ellie

and he's really encouraged that she likes him to. He's going to be disappointed. Yeah, he is. Ellie is smitten by him as well. No, I'm kidding. He's a tiny little Brit. He wants to not just be with Jewel, but just ate his seed.

So it's a very, very intense thing she feels for him. Very intense. Mikey sits down with his two bosses. He's called to have a little performance review. And he has reprimanded and says that, he needs to make this. They threaten to fire him. They threaten to fire him in no uncertain terms.

And Mikey says, I've got to make this work because I've had a string of career opportunities that I have seen falter. And I'm not about to give this one up. Because there's nothing left. There's no other jobs left. He's hit rock bottom. Yep. The only job left is working at Amazon and cleaning the anal beads that get returned.

Mm-hmm. How'd this remote control get tangled in this thing? You know, I was talking to somebody recently who had knew someone that worked at a factory in Amazon factory. And so they didn't take their security very seriously because they presented this illusion of security, but not they didn't have a really robust security there. And I was thinking, well, yeah, you're attempting to go rob at Amazon facility. How? I would be struck with confusion.

second I walked in there. It's just all these boxes. Who knows what that? I don't know where to go. I got, I robbed a factory. I got a bunch of anal beads. Exactly. I got anal beads, aquafore, and a can of, cans of dyed coke. When I thought I was going to hit a jackpot. When we had a DA in L.A. that decided jails shouldn't exist.

Frequently we were visited by the, oh, this is very quaint title, porch pirates. And they would regularly just take any Amazon package. It was on there. And boy, did they, when they would open those boxes and just find baby wipes. Yeah. What a windfall at their homeless

encampments. Well, good on the ass, though. I guess so. Yeah, I would continue to rob you if it was baby wipes and I was a bum. You know, keep that shit or clean. All right, this is a bad episode, right? Not at all. Okay.

Thank you. All right. So Mikey goes through his string of careers, vaguely, broadly, military. Not sure what happened there. and then it's just a cavalcade of nonsense. He did yoga. He did human trafficking. He did grave robbing.

All of them he was bad at. So now he's landed at Sea Rat and this has to fucking work. I think it will. I think he's a great addition to this show. 100%. All right. So we get to a little porch. Speaking of porch pirates,

porch sea rats, these Sea Rats go out to sit on a bench. Ellie's asked to go out for a glass. glass of wine with Joelle. Why would she think that this was going to be just him and her? She's out of her mind. Okay. Alicia has asked as well.

Now, this is... So was Daisy. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone. This is a funny moment with Alicia. Alicia is fatigued. It's been a day.

She's been encircled and shamed. She's had to work all day. It's been a lot. So when Joao says, why do you come outside? She says, I'm really tired. He says, well, there's going to be wine there. She says, I do like wine. And that pulls her outside very, very quickly.

And what a better way to put down the rumors and judgment of being an over-flotatious girlfriend. Yeah. Then to go outside and lay and rest your head on a male in front of cameras. Really? Not stuff. Yeah. Harrison, I hope you're okay. Yeah, I hope you are too.

the show with his family. Again, light whatever you can for this young man. Okay. Jenna and Alicia get to know one another. And Batul is there too. Batul's not on the show. Not really. Jenna asks her about Eddie and Alicia says it's nothing.

Don't say that. But she says to prove to you, I'm going to give you my cell phone. You can read through the texts, okay? Wherein she calls Jenna a safe bet. Ouch. And Eddie. refers to Jenna as something he would leave to go be an alien for in a second. So Jenna's not really thrilled with this,

and I wouldn't fault Jenna for, you know, she's got to pull off a general grievous kind of thing here where she's got an enemy in Ellie, she's got an enemy in Eddie, she's got an enemy in Alicia. And I don't think, you know, usually there's this thing where if you're quarreling or have animosity towards numerous people, you have to look inward. I don't think Jenna's done anything wrong.

Now. These sea rats are just not up to her level. Well, I think she has double ick here, and I would be hard pressed to believe that she will ever give Eddie any more attention. Yeah, I think so. But when you brought this up earlier, I thought you were referring to the total boat. Oh, no. Eddie's going to be fine with Alicia. I think they're going to have babies.

I think this opens the door for Ben. Oh, yeah. Now, Alicia says, I'm really horny. I need to use my vibrator. What are we, what are your thoughts on bringing a vibrator to, to work? Well, I, one time, one of my clients, when I, a long time ago, I found it under her car seat in a ziplock bag. So I think a lot of women might take it to work with them. Yeah, and get in the comments and let us know.

Let's get to the next morning. Mikey continues with the gossip. It's really, really unbelievable stuff from him. But Ben is not getting an oven for another three days. So he's going to have to work around. that. This is his redemption moment. We have probably some of the toughest charter guests of all season. He's down an oven. Let's face facts here. He's been pretty not on his game all season. Give him four ovens. It doesn't matter. This is his Rocky versus Drago moment. He needs to pull this off.

If he's ever going to be his old self. And in that bout, Apollo Creed dies. that's at the beginning of the movie yeah oh sorry i don't know the rockies that well i'll say this this is what's funny about the rockies i he must have written that script it just in one day it literally has four montages in it in the movies an hour and 20 minutes yeah can i say i'm not the biggest sly guy i i don't really think i've ever really enjoyed anything all that much with sly i wouldn't quite put him at a nick nick cage level like like i just don't don't want to do Nick Cage stuff. Really, you know.

They burn you out. Adaptation's great, but like, you know, people talk to me about moon struck and stuff. And you put it on and it's just like, I don't need this. I agree with you. I don't need this at all. They burn you out. You know, you get excited about an actor and you're like, you know, I'm going to go see everything they're in.

Yeah. And then you start going, I'm going to skip that one. I think if Leo's in another stinker, he's in jeopardy of being another one of those. He's not in stinkers. Look up was a stinker or don't look up. You liked one battle after another, did you? I haven't heard one person say that they enjoyed that. The more I watched it, the more I enjoyed it.

That's quite a review. Well, it's like every movie this year. I mean, people go nuts about these movies. And it's like, did we forget what a good movie? Like, Sinners is good. One battle after another is good. I mean, what are we talking about? though. My God.

We could talk about movies until the cows come home. That's right. But we're not here to talk about movies. No, this is way more important. That oven's not working. All right. So the oven's not working and he's spiraling already. He's going on. What are we going to do? I know.

Shrimp spring roll. And this is becoming his mokeka. This is a problem. Kiko. Kiko. It's not quite as disgusting as a fish soup. But it's an odd thing to come back to time and time again. I think we've had three iterations of the shrimp spring roll at this point. I think we're six episodes into the season. So that's a

really good clip. That's Shohei Otani numbers. Okay. That's really, really impressive. Now, I want to get to the tender tangle. Yes. Because. Well, first I think, well, the charter guests arrived. Oh, yeah. Sorry. To, I think a Leaky Lee song or something. The music budget on all these shows is just ballooning, yeah. And really quickly, I just want to say, Daisy's giving them a tour. There's this little trick that she pulls where she says,

we have VIP twins back here. VIP. That's an oxymoron, okay? Don't try to polish that turn like that to me, okay? All right. Good catch, no, good catch. So anyways, let's get to, Tendergate.

Okay. I watch these episodes with a very, very microscopic keen eye to pick up every little detail. And there's one thing that I really hate about reality TV. And occasionally below deck does dip their toes into this,

which is stage drama, particularly when they have to dock or they feel the need sometimes to create some kind of unnecessary drama because I hate all this stuff that happens on the outside of the boat. Which happens, takes place in that galley, when the guests are pissed, all the tomfoolery that takes place with just the sea rats is good enough. So we have the lines get tangled of the tenders.

Oh my God, we might lose one of those goddamn things. Hmm. How did a GoPro get attached to the back of one of the tenders? Yeah. At the perfect angle to be facing towards the boat that they're trying. tracking. Interesting. And be turned on simultaneously. Oh, well, interesting. That's, wow, what a, they must have, like, fallen over at their good luck in their good fortune that they were able to get that shot. Yeah, because that's one of those things where, like, you know, you always have to

wipe down the back of the toilets, right? Nobody's looking back there. But no, it's a sign of, you know, professionalism. They always have to turn the Gopros on that are fixed to the back of the tender. And They constantly get this footage. We can't even use this. But today is the reason why you do it. Gotcha. No, I'm with you. I mean, this was contrived horseshit, huh?

Quite a bit. Yeah. No more of this. Don't do it. All right. So, Daisy heads in and tells Ben that they want food. And I want to apologize to absolutely no one for calling them bitches. Now, we'll see next week.

Did you see the trailer for next week? Okay. Un-fucking believable. Hold on. If you don't think that that was a gigantic tease of them telling him after he panics that he actually did an amazing meal, then you're a fool. Oh, I think, no, I think it was real. You think they're going to tell him they did not, he did not meet their standards? Yeah, I think so. How could it be anything else?

He's horrible. He did something really smart here, though. which we haven't seen a chef do in a while, which is do not take any chances, Ben, sit down with the primary and create that menu with her. I mean, dude, he's sitting down with her and she's like, what's a dessert that you know we can't say no to? And he says, an apple pie?

What the fuck are you talking about? I thought she said, name a dessert that you do the best. We can't not like. We'll see. Listen, they've been demanding, but thus far, again, we would be even more demands. Yeah, the reason why is I don't have a problem with any of their requests. Me neither, but they're, Jenna brings it up at the beach picnic.

She goes, I can't get a read on mecca. She just seems miserable about everything. It's a good point. All right. So we're immediately hungry and it's probably around noon. Daisy goes, thank you for letting me know that you're hungry. How about waiting two hours or something like that? They go, no, that's not going to work.

So please bring some food up. And when she tells Ben they want food, he jabs back a little bit at her. But Daisy gets to eight or nine so quickly. It's nuts. Am I wrong? Well, I would too because she's the face of service. And if you don't like conflict, she's the one that has to deal with it. He doesn't.

He gets to hide down there. Yeah, it's so nuts. But they throw all some shrimp spring roll. in. And all is going well. The only problem is that they gave this group of, what, eight women, um, 10 spring rolls, maybe? I wish it was that many. I thought I saw like six on the place. Yeah. So they're going to need more. Um, and we say this a lot, but I'm really, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm fatigued by the gaslighting of people saying that this is an incredible vacation. They brought up six spring. rolls. And there's no protestation in the beginning because obviously you're going to bring up

more, right? And then no, you come to find, no, that was it. That's all they planned on doing. That was the food you asked for. Am I crazy, Dylan, or in the past have chefs prepared? Of course. Always. There's canopas, charcutory, fruit. Always. And this is the only boat that's ever had a sous chef. We've had chefs that work alone and still do this. I know. It's bananas. So it's beach picnic time. And Ben's just got such a, despite not having anything ready for them, he is just so put upon by this request to get them food. It's just insane. He's such a diva this guy. It's crazy. We get ready for the beach picnic. And Batole, who's not on the show, gives us another C-Rat history. Yeah, no, we get it. Yeah. Yeah, we're good.

Picnic set up. And then Eddie apologized to Jenna. I don't think she really accepted it fully. She doesn't care. I don't think she gets it. Which is the worst that someone can be. Yeah. Like, when someone could care less about you.

Yeah. It's Amanda being. Yeah, Amanda being asked about Kyle's cheating. Yeah, I don't give a shit. Who knows? Maybe. Not sure. But yeah, next week, we'll find out whether or not Ben.

You don't want to talk about this lunch, by the way? Do you have any thoughts on it? I didn't really. I didn't get that good of a look. They seemed to like it quite a bit. It just seems like your regular, you know, back of roadies. Pasta salad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. No, there's a Caesar. Yeah, this little Caesar. sir. Yeah. Yeah, the thing about and I don't know, it's getting exhausting

to the audience at this point, but it's an important reminder, once again, this is not a good vacation. This is not worth the money. Okay? So you're going to a beach picnic. And if you had gone

to, let's say, let's do this. So what is this vacation cost? 40 grand, 50 grand? Yeah. So let's spend, $10,000, maybe even 15, at a really nice resort.

You're going to be weighted on hand and foot. You're going to be handed warm towels between bites, but rather you've subjected yourself to blackout drunks who do not remember what they're doing than I previously. They're sweating out vodka and you're being served warm mayonnaisey, pasta salad that is shrink-wrapped and sweating. Okay? Don't go on these vacations, but continue to because we love the show.

Get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. And until next time, I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat. Say goodbye. Bye, guys. Jaylen. See you.