Kill James Bond! - Stealing Livestock | Below Deck Adventure S1 E3

Episode Date: November 22, 2022

Dylan and Pat are back to break down little white lies, a lifetime of overcoming, the hit television program Who Wants to Marry a Fuckin' Billionaire, illness, youth, putting your hands on the product and much more from Bravo's Below Deck Adventure.OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING WINTER HOUSE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.comThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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through December 24th. Save now, only at BJ's! What person's white lie? I don't think that's true. What person tells a little white lie about a horse getting stolen and my mom's in that jail? So that was family insane. Welcome aboard another Brands Banking New episode of another below deck podcast. My name's Dylan. I'm settled up next to one Pat Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Permission granted. So this is a little awkward. Yeah.

Because there's no below deck med this week. Oh yeah, that's right. It's just the adventure. The reunions next week, it also with the debut of that Captain Lee, the fake Captain Lee, that his show. Yeah, as addict. You fucking cheek addict, huh?

Well, no, we're kidding. It's awkward because Nick is not here. Now we address this. Hopefully everybody has listened to the announcement. People need to not write things like, I bet these fucking idiots are just trying to keep this going long enough until people find out the truth and everyone leaves the patron. Will you please shut up? Fuck up. Nothing salacious is going on. People get stressed and people need to make changes in their lives, okay? Nobody killed each other. Nobody fucking did anything dramatic. We're sorry to say this is not a real housewives episode.

This is just our lives. This life, man. Okay. Jesus fucking Christ. So we've been at this for a very very long time We've grown a fan base that we love more than anything we do. This is our favorite thing that we do. But we ask you, if you've been riding with us, yes, it will be different, but please stick with us. We're going to do everything we can to make you guys laugh just as hard or harder as we always have. We love you guys for the support and need it more than ever now.

Nick is starting up a Patreon. Go support him there. We love him up a Patreon, go support him there. We love him and want our fans to support him all the same. So let's get into the show. Let's do it. We have not in enigma any longer. I said it was confusing last week because I wasn't sure if the show was bad or good. I think it's bad.

Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's just bad. Well, all right. So Dylan, what do I always say? Makes a good reality TV show. So when you hate exactly and in Kyle He gave us that person. Yes. I despise him. He triggered me to have violent thoughts that I'm embarrassed to share on air. There's a room to mature here Yes, but this guy this fucking guy right, as you hear the sound of my voice,

I would have no issue with packing him into a cannon and lighting it. Yeah. All right. And then speaking of cowboy, I'm speaking of cowboy and his parting was too soon in my opinion. See, there's got to be an arc to villainy. They have to get you so angry that it's so intense you're just waiting for their come-up ends. And his arc was too short. Well, it's weird because Belodak usually does that thing where they drag out an anticlimactic moment over the course of three episodes.

Sure. There are very least two. I don't know why they didn't split a TBC card in here. And then we could have gotten rid of them next episode. You could have at least gotten two or three or four episodes out of them. Had you fired them next episode. But anyways, your pots go ahead. Oh, last note. So it's fun to hate this guy. And he makes pizza rat look like mother Teresa.

So I am going to miss him. Other note on this particular episode because there are some different little things they're doing with the show. They're definitely showing more food, which is one of the things that we told the producers we wanted to see. I also love how when they went out, they tell the girls, they go kick rocks and go stare at each other in the fucking boat. We're going to stay here and flirt with the locals.

I might even take one back. I love that. That's what Patty would do. If I was a C rat. Right. I'm gonna tell anybody who asks me what's going on, I'm gonna say I'm the lead on a new show who wants to marry a fucking billionaire and would you like to suck my dick? Right. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead

and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna be the lead and I'm gonna tell anybody who asks me what's going on. I'm gonna say I'm the lead on a new show who wants to marry a fucking billionaire. And would you like to suck my dick?

Right. Oh my god, I sound like a monster. Right. Am I Kyle right now? You're not Kyle right now. You're just speaking truth, okay? You don't need to bed, Orianna, right? You've been on the boat for 48 hours and the sun's only been down for six. You're delusional, that's a bad idea.

Go find a fucking, ah, God, I don't wanna say that. I don't wanna say me things about stray nor regions. They don't need to take the kind of buckshot that I was about to spit out, okay. What was it? How? I didn't, I was gonna say you out, okay. What's that? How?

I didn't know. I was gonna say, you could go find a little **** or and try to fuck her. I'm gonna bleep it. We don't need to say that kind of stuff, but yes, you're 100% right. Use the illusion, the veneer of fame, which is nonexistent, but use it. Ten knots. Okay. fame, which is not existed, but use it.

Ten knots. Okay, so I am exhausted by my hatred of Kyle. He's so young and he's still gonna, has a chance to figure life out, he'll fail. Clud. How he internalized being fired. I can't wait to get there. It has a chance to figure life out he'll fail Clud How he internalized being fired I can't wait I can't wait to get there. I cannot wait to get there It's one of the most beautiful poems I've ever heard. Oh, we're gonna play it But I'm exhausted by how much I hate Kyle you know, I don't want to have negativity in my life. No, no, I don't want it to feel grossies for people.

But Kyle bubbles up in me something truly dark that completely takes over me. You know, it's one of the aggregates that the Buddha talked about. I am not a autonomous self in those moments. I am just filled with hatred for pots. Let's get into it. So things are going really well We've got squeegee shots for the guests while Kyle is being reprimanded to Lewis by Captain Kerry

The sound the Kyle makes when those guests drink their 30th ounce of booze before 11 o'clock in the morning is something orkish it really really There's too much enjoyment from these people drinking from him. You don't know them, and even if you did, how would you conjure up that deep lung excitement for people just drinking alcohol? There's a wakeless amount of stupidity that has taken over this young kid. His mom is a serial horse professional and a criminal, so but we'll get there. Okay, okay. Lots of thoughts here. One, a little T. If I got this right from one of our barnacles,

you know, they've invested gate for us. Yes. The primary of this boat is now on vacation with Ariana. Right. You saw that, yes. Okay, I don't know if they just play with us to get us all wondering or caring, are they in fact a couple?

What's going on? Definitely not. Definitely probably just some shots. She happened to be in town. Oh, hey, they fall each other on Instagram. It's one of those things. Ooh, you guys really fuck with us. She got onto the boat.

He was like, hey, you're a fucking sea rat, right? You want to see how the other half lives? Come on for a night. I'll fuck you and then you'll get off the boat. That's likely what happened. Or they just took a picture of one another. Do I sound like a pig? No, no, no, no.

I'll get you nailed it. here's the other thing yeah so the show starts off with a captain carry not happy about with Kyle flirting with what's her face in front of the guests he's balled and mad he's like hey he's a he's a worker on the boat yeah he's not a guest yeah and I was thinking there was another guy named Kyle on the last verse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I don't think Carrie would have been happy with that pajama party antics that old Kyle was pulling there I think yeah, who knows though Carrie is might have had to take a back seat to that one You think so yet My next life I'm coming back as a gay guy. I want to, too. They have so much fun.

It looks like they have so much fun. And I don't want to. You get to grab girls' breasts. I don't want to. Oh my God, look at these. These are real. I don't want to have to go through these. Why is he get to do that?

Parrypic, painful, kind of coming to terms with your sexuality. If it was like that for people. But we're living in a more progressive society. And once it cuts out of the bag and you can just let your freak flag fly, not that they're freaks, I'm just saying, have fun, I don't know what to say anymore. So,

you wanna get to this? Louis, the third and fourth executive. The third and the second of the show. So Louis has been told to be stricter with the deck crew. He says he just wants to be nice. Talk about a balance you need to strike. Cowboy called you a bitch and said that he was going to kill you in the middle of the night within the first half hour of meeting him. Figure it the fuck out, dude, because you're not striking the balance.

Oh, you are not. I'll remind the audience. He also said, uh, you're going to take me on that tender tomorrow. I'm beat the shit out of you. I just, you're boss. That's what I'm referring to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gonna take me on that tender bitch, and if you don't, sleep with one eye open. That's a threat of murder. So let's get to the first docking.

Now these dockings are going to be heightened for if they are to fail, the water is so cold that everyone could perish. So while the boys get ready, the girls almost get fucking killed. Spanacopita does not seem to think it's a big deal that a rolling pin, the size of the Empire State Mulder, I fell down and crashed to the floor. But if she doesn't think it's a big deal, it's not a big deal.

She is my favorite person on the boat, bar none. Let's move on to the game of HR telephone, war with China. War with China. So we've got a very strange method of leadership by Kerry. I know that you need to let the boson do his thing, but he's already, Cowboys already fucked up twice.

And it seems that Kerry has his eye on Kyle. So why don't you have a little chat with him? Why are you, save him from himself? Yeah, why are you doing this thing where you're giving it to, I don't know, a little golden-doodle boy to,

to, to, to, to reprimand. Can I tell you what's odd about all this? All right, so I'm gonna talk about Kyle for a second. Yeah. We're gonna get to his, I guess his, his, his, how he came to be. Yeah. A little, one of the great C-rat histories

in the history of a show. Can have the whole show about that. Yeah, stealing lifestyle. In and out of jail. One person's white lie. I don't think that's true. No, no. No.

One person tells a little white lie about a horse getting stolen and then my mom's in that jail. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Sick see what we're doing. We're getting in here pat is on death doorstep right now. Jesus Okay, not good to laugh. Okay Kyle. Yeah, I feel I start to feel bad for him He is a product of upbringing in environment. I know at some point you have to say look you're an adult now You're accountable for your own actions grow the fuck up. You can't talk to people

But when I see him and that final grow the fuck up, you can't talk to people. But when I see him and that final soliloquy that is delivered at the tail end of how he internalizes, being fired and basically everybody that interacted with him on the boat thinks he's an asshole in some capacity. Right. Big defense mechanism.

The insecurity is he feels so small inside that he counters that with all this bullshit energy and I just got I wish this guy would sit down with a therapist. I think we maybe we could punch the therapist in the face. Why are you such a bitch? You're a bitch. Yeah. I'll tell you what these degrees mean in Texas. Jack all. I'm here to help Kyle. Let's talk through that. Talk through what? You're unparalleled egg. So mean one Mike's nervous about docking for the first time. Mike, you're not even on this show. Get out of here. Well, he's another nice one. Yeah. Well, so I think that we can get to the sea red history now. Because Lewis lets him know. And it's at this point where Kyle is provoked to tell us

that he's always been a cowboy. He's always been a yee yee, get it kind of vibe, he kind of guy. And one stroke of a broken down bus and a parking lot for a while. Yeah, no, we're not quite at the, Oh, the, the horse. Oh, no, this is the first, yeah, all right.

So, but what, this message that could be gleaned from this little incoherent, uh, yeah, that talisman tells you. He, he kind of kid it by, he's been a douchebag his entire life. He's been a douchebag his entire life. And Lewis has been a bit of a pussy his entire life. But he looks like he's doing it on purpose this time.

He's telling him that you could be the lead deckhand if you get your shit together, but it seems to not be taking Kyle is playing leg guitar and almost kicking his own leg out from underneath him in the very next scene. Well, Jedi mind tricks work when a person is in a position to receive the mind trick. What I'm saying is Kyle's too dumb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't, he's not picking up on it. That's 100% correct.

And I love that, you know who's picking up on that? The guests, I love these guests. They're like, hey, try to kick that. He's like, fucking kick it. I'll kick it. I'll find and kick that thing. They're like, oh, you missed. That's fine.

Hey, what is that cleaning solution taste like? Go ahead. Ask him if he'll drink the bleach. See if he'll do it. See if he'll do it. So we've got a hell of a mutiny on our hands. Oriana seems to want to slit Casey's fucking throat. Says, here are your epilets in that fake fucking accent.

Those are the stripes for the audience, if anyone else. Yes, of course. We are all in the Colosseum, though. By the way, what a, like stripes have never been. I know where it's we're on a vessel, you know, so I guess you got to have some kind of uh, order of hierarchy, but like one stripe, uh, two stripes means you, uh, fold laundry, one stripe means you clean shit out of toilets. Like, wow, no, no, no, what'd you do, do you, uh, were you a general? Did you kill a guy? No,. Like, wow. No, no, no.

What'd you do, do you, are you a general? Did you kill a guy? No, that's not right. No, no, no, I cleaned. No, that's not right. One stripe means you fold laundry and you clean shit out of toilets. Two stripes means you make spicy margaritas. I'm sorry.

No, it makes sense. What a dumb thing you just said. You're absolutely right. Oh, my God. I gotta know what the two stripes means. Two stripes means you are supposed to put plates on the table, but you forget. That's two stripes. That person, yeah, okay.

Thanks for clarity. And then three stripes is what Natasha does where you make Smurfball drive shots and then do a wine pairing by going and looking at the front of the bottle and going, this is a cabaret. He's laughing. My God.

Are you a song? So, Faye says that Nathan looks like Mr. T, microaggression, and then we get to docking. So this does not go very well. The thrusters and the throttles and the engines go. And I noticed a couple of things. One one we have not met the stars of the show the engineers which is a goddamn fucking shame what are you scared of carry show us them

um... to the guests are sitting next to that thing that spins that captain Lee and or captain Glenn said would fry your balls or something like that yes can be up there uh... but get them down get got them But get them down. Get, got damage, get them down. Got damage. Do you want to have kids? Well, then you better get down from there.

You want your kid to have a tail like a lizard. Keep up there. Three, fuck you. Three. They think kind of sucks at this job. And cowboy is pretty fucking good at his job. The engines go and Nate is being very not expedient. Kind of with fuck face cowboy in this situation.

Nate you need to speed up in general. He says don't rush me. We don't have engines to throw the fucking rope and don't throw a rope that is a ball of yarn. They can't do anything with that. Cowboys just trying to get this done. This was one of those situations where you'd hear both people explain it

and the way they explained it, you'd think the other person was a dick. But in reality, they're both culpable. Kyle, you have no communication skills. And Nate, everybody could, no one's gonna die, but if you don't do this fast enough, some of them might get a concussion. Yeah, or there could be damage to the boat.

Nate is, I don't blame him for antagonizing Kyle, but he seems to be doing that quite a bit. Like he's kind of done it from the beginning. And again, I don't blame him because Kyle is awful. You can read that from a mile away. But like at dinner, the thing that really got me is he tapped him on the shoulder and said, don't get too drunk tonight. Dude, don't need to do that. The guy is going to crash into a wall in 15 minutes. Just leave it alone. I thought that was smart move. I didn't leave that. Not to get ahead of ourselves.

Oh, no, no, it was smart to leave. But going out, he was smart move. I'd need to leave that not to get ahead of ourselves. Oh, no, no, no. It was smart to leave, but going out, he was just kind of stabbed in a little bit. Now, can I talk about these fucking boats? Now, we just watch. You're suspect twists. They dock fine. Everything's fine. They do, but just by the engine not working, what's with these fucking vessels?

They got an entire, they got two guys dedicated to these boats. Their entire job is to make sure that it doesn't crash into a fucking wall and kill everybody. The other season, we got this thing that Sandy was driving every once in a while because someone took a shit and didn't open up the fucking door. The boat would rock back and forth. Right. Get it together. Well, also the investment in these vessels, I'd like to buy a yacht.

$50 million. $50 million, okay, I've got that money. Now there are a couple little drawbacks. The engines shut out all the time and you can't take it out and inclement weather, so it'll just sit in the dock and you have to pay 20 grand a day to keep it there. And pretty much you're limited to the only people that would be employed on the boat are all broken souls that want to fuck each other Yeah, you know actually I'm good. I'm gonna invest the 50 million in a different way. Try crypto. Yeah, try crypto

hit up Well Sam Blankman or whatever his name is. He'll help you out Fucking Tom Brady How much do you want me to put in? Just 30 mil. Oh, okay. I'll make how much? So the engines go, Nate's not very expedient.

We said that we do meet Tony, the star of the show, though, who breaks down in detail what happened to the engine. Bravo, don't do this. You have made no sense to me. Bravo. You're not engineers. This is not the science channel. Okay. This is Bravo. Don't fuck I don't even think Carrie understood He just kept on is a good might. Oh, yeah, that makes perfect sense. Okay ever show us this shit again Sloth get back down there. Okay, you're not supposed to be here

So I need to meanwhile in while. Meanwhile. The guy Michael is really fucking growing out. Good God. The primary. He almost kisses Kyle in the mountain. I saw that. Jesus. Nothing wrong with that, but you don't know the man.

So then we get Kyle bitching about Nate and we get to the most heartbreaking prelude to a tip meeting I've ever seen. Craft beers. Wow. Even Kyle who has the palette of a saltine tracker was like craft beers. I thought we got champagne. He's seen this show a time or two. Well, maybe they're good there up in that Norway. I don't think. Do you like a craft beer? I don't drink beer anymore and if you've noticed I don't drink clawed in more a craft beer? I don't drink beer anymore, and if you've noticed, I don't drink clawed anymore either.

Lost six pounds just by not drinking claw. Well, if you have eight claws, every day, it's eight hundred calories. Yeah, wild move. But yeah, no, crap beers are, in my opinion, pretty revolting. Everyone's in a wild, it's nice to have a crisp, fancy beer, but are you going on the golf course?

People are like, I brought a bunch of beer with me. I'm like, what kind? I don't want to be that guy, but what kind? All right, we have to get to the first tip meeting of the season, Pat. We're dealing with croners this season or crones. Good luck to you. Well, luckily they actually did it in US dollars, Dylan.

If you're listening listen close enough it was 20,000 American USD and 1650 I've rounded up and they was 1647 or something. Pretty good tip. What a great start. Great. And these guests were fucking cool. All right so let's get to some real sea red shit. Deadliest catch hasn't had a girlfriend in a decade. Plus Nate is shouting about loving bitches from the streets. Nate is weird. Nate is just weird. Um, so then we move on to Kyle getting those you you scream at people vibes. He yells at spannic cupata about being an angel and then says that phase going to be at his funeral. You're going to die very young, but I don't think that you guys are ever going to be a thing. Yeah, you're not that close. He's got the, yeah my God, this is like,

he probably had an older, I mean, here in these old timey phrases, things these little turn of phrase, and I don't think young people say, I think he got this from his grandpa who probably brought him up. But it's meant to come off as charming, but everything that's coming out of his mouth

are all old dirty man stuff that says I want to fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's still gross. It's still. You're a creep. It's still gross. It doesn't matter if you throw a kind of like Faulkner, a lot kind of antebellum on it. It's too loud and it's too aggressive and it's not charming.

And the subtext is, I'd like to fuck you. Let's get out for a night on the town. Gwens in the box. Gwens. Always. Always. I'd like to fuck you! Let's get out for a night on the town, Gwens in the box, Curez! Oh, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! How would you like to come home to a bartender who will fix you any cocktail you want? I'll have an old-fashioned. I'll have an other Rita.

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Kerry has a girlfriend who's 20 years younger than him. And boy, I don't want to, you know, besperche the man. I don't know the history. So this is just me talking out of my ass. But I think there might have been a little work romance there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It called me crazy, you know,

people on boats, you know, making decisions. What's the laundry machine doing on right now? But he made a gallot work, but it was completely, what do you call it when? Go pathetic. Yeah, well no, when you're, you're a tonic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know, it just so happened a couple years later

when him and his wife were divorced, you know, they found each other again. I'm sure that's exactly how that happened. God, I'm a dick. Hey, Captain Kerry, once come on the show, clear things up for all. We'll talk to you soon,. Bravo. Give us the guests. Go on Rogue. So let's get to Anno, private dining and devil juice. The waiter is a little too queasy for cowboy, I think. He's very

excited about the gin. And he asks them how they like the menu. Don't ask me if I like the menu. I'm at the restaurant. Don't ask me if I like the menu. I'm at the restaurant. How do I know? I don't know if I do, but also there's nothing I can do about it. If I don't, I'll order something. It's just a very awkward question.

Okay. Do you like the menu? What? But Kyle of course refuses the gin and asks for whiskey, and that is when we get a little seerat history into no one's surprise Kyle is the way he is because he's taken a few to 50 hooves to the head. I can route a real bull. Take your sunglasses off. Please. It is cool that people can ride bulls but what's even cooler is

what we find out about Kyle's mother. So we find out a ton, right? But we still need so much more. The story goes, Kyle's mother, who was obviously a traveling horse professional, stole a horse from another woman and a string of trials and jail time ensued. And what was this all based on, Douglas? Some ladies, little white lie. I know, now I know why you just drink that full glass of whiskey and point four seconds. Yeah, yeah, it's

too, it's still the pain. Hey, fairy, can you get me two glass of whiskey please, I'm going gonna drink this one and point four seconds Because I've been kicked in the head so many times and my mom was sent to prison over a low white lie Low white lies don't result in strings of trials Although sometimes they do I guess was Casey Anthony a little white lie a little white That example was in the news this week. What What she really? Yeah, the judge came out. He's retired now. He is like, we'll talk about it on PMZ. Go to her saying

that her dad was the one that killed that kid is insane. We'll talk about it on PMZ. You can get that at patreon.com slash another podcast network. So Orianna has a crush on Lewis. KC has a very strange accent that morphs a Patreon.com slash another podcast network. So, Orianna has a crush on Lewis. Casey has a very strange accent that morphs a lot. She's finished Mexican coast. I don't care.

I can't write out these places. Oh, hold on. You won't be in my head in three months. No, we won't even remember your name. I do want to say this though. Orianna, it's kind of weird how she's looking at, uh, you know, uh, what's his face? Oh, Lewis.

She goes, uh, he's not my type. He's too short. But I still my fuck him because I like his accent. Yeah. I love how the, we all have a ledger of pros and cons. Right. The short, like comes out as mom. You look like quasi-moto, but I love a Portuguese accent.

That hump on your back is strange and I don't know what it's made of but great eyes yeah I've never seen someone's eyes go up and down at the same time but my god that accent is incredible all right so they cheers Incredible. All right, so. They cheers, and they're about to red-winning one another. Oriana and Casey. I'm kind of with Oriana though. Casey seems to be pulling him a Donna here, and it's bizarre.

Oh, one sociopathic. No one who has an accent that morphs all the time. It's just, it's fucking weird. It's a red flag from mile away. Yeah, it's, that good stuff. It's odd. So, we move on to milk bar, but not before cowboy finishes his 70th martini.

Wow, what a painful life. So Nathan decides that he's gonna head home and he tells Kyle not to get too drunk. Nathan, enough. I'm gonna take my fucking time to apologize to fucking nobody. Yeah, he quotes Connor McGregor. I get where you're coming from though, because when we get to Milk Bar, Kyle demonstrates my least favorite kind of person to be around on Planet Earth.

That is the rambunctious blackout who thinks they're crushing it. I've had person I cannot fucking stand. What a revolting presence. Who wants some shots? I'm buying. Come on someone hang out with me. Please, please. Please don't leave me over here in the corner about myself. Someone hang out with me. Please. I'm fucking. I'll be alone. I mean I have to think about myself come on man. I'm out so They get to they get to the bar and he says hold on I'm gonna make a fucking toast with girly shots He ordered from the waitress who was traumatized by his breath and that toast was Some about coming up people's hair. I sound like Elvis.

Fucking like yes you do. Fucking Lord Byron this guy. He says you gotta make the most of what you get and if you can't comment or come on. There you go. Cheers. Cheers. I feel safe. Oh and his next move here is this this when, and this is, I guess, how people view things, you know? This could be, next up, Kyle Flurts with Casey. Yeah. Or, sexually harasses. Yeah, yeah, I don't think Flurting is right.

I don't wanna be to dead horse, but I can't stand seeing this, you know, across the bar, there's some girl who's getting breathed on from, by some fucking zombie. Please leave her alone and leave everyone alone. No one wants to fuck you and your dick has the strength of a fucking tissue right now. So hit the pillow for everyone's sake. For your sake and everyone else's sake. So, Faye and Spana cup it up. Oh, really quickly though, deadliest catch is like,

I can't believe this life, man., you see rats got a fucking mate. We talk about Mike. Yeah, I like Mike. He's boring though. I like Mike too, but he's says, I don't want to fucking come from, I don't want, I don't want to fucking come from kind of girl. Wait, I think he comes from money. I don't know, I thought that was a direct quote. Anyway, at the point, why is he doesn't want to come? It sounds like it.

Yeah, yeah, Kyle, I'm sure all the girls with money are lining up for you. Oh yeah, no, the women like Jamie Dimon's daughter is like, Dad, I met a guy. He doesn't. Oh. Yeah. I can't wait to meet him.

Can't wait to meet him. All right, the penthouse is destroyed. So we move on to Fayette's vanicope at a heading out for a sig and we get a little sea rat history from Fayette. Another tale that I don't feel makes any sense, she escaped love, that's a direct quote, and then lived in like 10 different countries. Yeah. So cut to the chase here, which parent had a drinking problem? Yeah. So here's the, here's the euphemism, right? I survived a toxic relationship. I traveled the world and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I And I overcame every obstacle in front of me. Real life.

I had 18 beer bottles thrown in my head before I left. I ran from all of my pain, hopping from country to country, working minimum wage jobs until I found yawning where I've been decaying for the last 10 years. See rats, see rats. The heading on continues. Lewis finds Norwegian daisy and we head out. Orianna and Casey head back to the boat because they are not going to sit around while not being chased after. And are followed soon by Cowboy and the gang. Now Cowboy does this

weird thing where he kind of, he sees the body of water and like a lemming completely forgets that he's trying to fuck something and just gets completely fixated on jumping into the water. He bales on that plan and takes, it stays up all night taking pictures of his dick like a literal crazy person. It's like if you were in wherever one flew over the Kukuz Nest was filmed and they had phones, you would see in many rooms just people taking pictures of their penises over and over and over again. Alchemy, everyone needs a nurse ratchet in their life. Everyone needs a nurse ratchet.

I don't know what I would do if I was Nathan. I don't know what I would do if a blackout drunk stumbled into my bunk and started flashing dick pics at three o'clock in the morning. Why would anyone do this kind of work? So the trouble continues in the AM, but before we get there, let's take a quick break for these lovely sponsor's. Another below deck podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp.

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when you go to Rothies.com slash below deck. Not only can you get all of them, you can get $20 off your first purchase at Rothies.com slash below deck, that's r-o-t-h-y-s dot com slash below deck my wife's home. So Nathan wakes up after an evening of dick picks and leaves his dehydrated brown urine filled to the brim of the toilet bowl. Now Nathan takes umbridge with this and Kyle also takes umbridge and turn. Kyle says, well Nate says don't leave your piss in the toilet.

Kyle says don't speak to me like that in the morning. That's as opposed to what time Kyle? Flush the toilet. What's a better time for you? If I'm being honest, probably around one or two o'clock. Fine. Thank you. It's very mature of us.

So the girls over here, them fighting and say it's just two single guys trying to find themselves. No, Cowboys still drunk. That's what you're hearing. It has nothing to do with the search of oneself. He pissed on the toilet and didn't flush it. So... And he took a shit.

Yeah. That's what he did the first day. So it's man of cup,, a heads out to provision herself. This woman is just unbelievable. She has such a hands-on approach and posse-own for the culinary arts that she needs to put her hands on what she's going to prepare for people, including for cowboy who would eat a shoe if he skipped lunch. I didn't need to take a shot at him there, but he's just so red-faced and stupid I couldn't

hold back. My hatred is making me foggy. So, she went to theerary Culinary Academy in Ireland and found one of the most beautiful love languages on planet earth, the love language of making food for people. I love this woman. I really hope she does not descend

into sea red madness by the end of the season. But her destiny has been written already. She's a sea red. So if we needed any more evidence of Kyle being still very much ship face, look no further than this insane conversation with him and Casey. She says, you hung over. He says, no, I'm still drunk, but it looks like you've got your walls up, Diochi. Can you go, please? God.

That was, I know this is weird, and I'm reading into it only because I'm watching him and he's quick to his anger. That came off as threatening to me. Am I being a little too much of a pussy here? You're not. You're not easy. The way that you fucking walls up now, huh?

Yeah, the way that he talks to women and the way that he talks to people is inappropriate So Nathan can't talk to his boasting because in nason and Nathan's words Lewis is an ass sucker Kind of intense but also right on the fucking head is on the money. Oh god I love this Lewis guy, but leadership you do have to strike the balance. You can't stand it. You know, unfortunately, he's going to have to get tested like this when you want to, you're in a leadership role. I think the tendency, I would hope for human beings is always to give people the benefit of the doubt. And the reality is, is you get salty as you experience just how we humanity

truly is. And there are the kiles in the world. And yeah, I, I, I, I, hopefully Lewis, this is very young, early young stages of being a leader. Yeah, because he's got to, he's got to figure it out. The stuff he says laid on into the episode, it's just nothing short of pathetic. Yeah.

So, what I fear Nathan is going to do is rat. If it was anyone else, I would condemn him, but it's Kyle, so let's get him off the show. So, passive aggressive stuff from Orianna, Mass Hall, demoted Mass Hall. So, let's get to the talk with Carrie. Nate asks if he can switch cabins, because Kyle keeps leaving feces in the toilet

and threatening to beat the shit out of him. Is that how he frames it? Kind of. Kind of. You know, he doesn't say I want him fired. He says I want to switch cabins. So, Kerry's got a bit of an issue here to deal with. He tells Lewis, and I'm starting to despise Lewis as much as cowboy upon hearing this news,

Lewis goes marble mouth in front of Captain and says, I need him on this boat to teach me. Your wife is being slammed away at it in the corner, Lewis. It's not okay. You can't be watching this. It's not okay. Also, in what world is competence in boating, superseding threats of violence? One of the tropes of the show is that there is literally a revolving door of them and a sort of seerats on speed dial. He's good at his job. Lewis, sorry, but you're a squishy smore right now, okay? You need to get a bit of a backbone. We can't lose him. He's too valuable. It's throwing lines to people on a dock. Jesus.

I hate say it's Dylan. I know we're wrapping the show up. I am as a manager, I am more Lewis than God who's been then captainly. I just, it's hard for me. I can kind of understand. So Kyle gets brought up and is asked, what happened that morning? Now I thought he had no chance of remembering because he was still in missing frontal lobe mode, but he did remember and babbled out the truth

of the situation. Well, he told me to flush my piss and I threatened to beat the fuck out of him. Oh, I said something like that. I definitely didn't flush my piss. I definitely said I was going to beat the fuck out of him. But in a huge suspect type twist, he actually does fire, fire him, which was all right. So this was weird because you thought there was a glimmer of hope when he said, all

right, I respect that you are honest with me. I respect your honest. Now would you like to fucking resign? Or would you like to destroy your career in yawting? Because if you sign this piece of paper and walk away, you'll still have a career and just mock this up as a life experience. It's not like millions of people watch this show. And no, exactly what you did.

Yeah. But if you sign this, no one will know. Except a special. No, no. Especially with Andy. Some guy in New York is going to have you on his couch and he's going to ask you about it. Uh, guy, I have a horrible act. No, no, no, it's fine. It's such a good point. I didn ask you about it. Uh, guy have a horrible accent.

No, no, no, it's fine. It's such a good point. I didn't think about that. There are cameras. Hey, how about the three strike goals? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I feel like I need to take a dose of Captain Kerry. Kyle's 23 years old. He's severely damaged because of the

criminal horse professionally. He was raised by. So I hope he takes this lesson. But it wasn't his fault. What was that? But it might not take because Kyle in his exit interview kind of tips his cap that he doesn't really get what's going on. Do you have a clip that you'd like to play? I actually, why don't we just play so he gets shit canned in the episode wraps up. Of course Lewis can't help but be a nice guy. Hey, if you don't mind. Hey, excuse me. Tell him you enjoyed working with him.

But everyone go and check his hand inside that he did a great job in the boat. Hey, if you don't mind. Hey, excuse me, what's up? Tell him you enjoyed working with him. But everyone go and check his hand inside that he did a great job in the bio, huh? Look, you gotta have more luices in the world. It keeps, even though you may say, hey, you're pathetic and you're ruined people's lives because you're being a pussy and not fatigued. Okay, see, I know that he was sexually assaulting you,

but could you guys say that you love being around him? Get out of here, Charlie. Fucking leave me alone. So he departs with what I think was. It read like a stupid poem. He says, you create your own fate and it would seem like I'm the source of the problem. But I was just being myself. So I can't be mad at that.

I warned you no points. They got a mercy on your soul. And I would end this with we need to get a microchip in this individual in planted in him. Yes. And we need to track where he is at all times, at least for the next 10 years. Yep. I think so too. Uh, span of co, but it's like tracking dolphins, but this time it's just tracking psych. Yeah. We want to see how you guys mate. We want to make sure he doesn't kill someone. Yes. So, Spanicopita says, maybe Kyle came home and got rowdy

and says, face, sorry. This was such a dumb moment. Spanicopita says, maybe Kyle came home and got rowdy and face says, yeah, or did something. Okay. So keep that. They were roommates, you know, oh, well, hey, Sherlock Holmes, wow, you found your fucking Watson. So, um, this is the end of the episode. We hope that Kyle gets better, but keep that tracking device on him because I think the world needs it.

I guess we'll do this a couple times as we close out these episodes. We love you guys for supporting us. And it's weird that Nick is not with us, but we love you guys for sticking with us and for listening to the shows. We're having a lot of fun doing this and the reason why we want to keep doing it is so that you guys can, I don't know, enjoy us having a good time. We hope it makes your lives better and you know, there's money and there's us getting our egos flated a little bit. But if we can make people happy by this silly thing that we do, we're gonna keep doing it.

So it's about the money. It's about the money. So help us keep getting paid, and we will keep making you laugh. We promise from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you so much for supporting us. We love you very, very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat say goodbye. Later dudes! We all know a guy who only occasionally shapes for big occasions, and it's because that

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