Kill James Bond! - That’s Too Much Gelato | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S4 E6

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

Dylan and Pat are back to break down Subway, John Taffer, making people wait, chef injuries, cosmic misfortune, ball scratchers, the AVN Awards, being yucky and much more from Bravo’s Below Deck Sailing Yacht. Uncensored content and exclusive shows including Vanderpump Rules at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetwork

you know that's the sea rat service it's like what we're gonna do is we're gonna not have anything for them to put the chicken wing bones in and we'll tell them just throw it behind you there are lots of uh rodents here that will pick it up but what we are gonna do is we're gonna get buckets of gelato tubs of it so they can have a scoop each and go to bed welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast my name is dylan i saddled up next to one, Patrick Hickey. Great to be here. Permission to come aboard. Granted, producer Kalen's over there behind my glasses. Hi, everybody.

So Ruby is back in the Big Apple, New York City, bright lights, concrete jungle, pizza pies and whatnot. Fans really liked her. Yeah, they enjoyed her joining us. Well, she's going to be joining Bad TV quite a bit. So if you liked Ruby, subscribe to Bad TV. Whatever we got coming up, throwing down over there, Ruby's going to be joining in. So subscribe now before we reach our limit and we don't allow too many people to listen.

Yeah, Apple caps that out. So what can I say respectfully? Of course. Terrible CTA. Call to action? Yeah, bad one, bad pitch. Because the important thing to get across is that Rubes is breaking down Vanderpump with us.

Now we've got the season finale, which was not supposed to be filmed because Lisa Vanderpump gave that very bizarre toast to everybody last episode. And then Ken was like, can you believe? But yeah, so we will be breaking down the finale finale of Vanderpump and the three-part reunion

at patreon.com slash another podcast network with Ruby. Also, we are working on getting Ruby more involved in the shows. So there will be more of a female presence, more to come. Another public service announcement. I am getting really high sitting next to you right now. I am

really high right now. Well, I mean, I mean, everyone knows and I think everyone, including the audience, will know after this piece of context, I just lit a joint. It's an impossibility for you to be high right now. Quite literally an impossibility. You know, I got another bone to pick with you.

You're really pissing me off of late. Oh, well, no. You know, you're a big Subway sandwich guy, right? Absolutely. Since they upgraded their turkey offerings yeah i'm back was it peppered no no no and we'll get into the show soon great episode we'll get into it soon i went in there today i was in a pinch and neaten and i wanted to be like that upstanding good neighbor jared lose a little bit of weight i go in there i asked asked for a chicken Caesar wrap. They don't have that. They don't have Caesar.

What kind of fucking place doesn't have Caesar? Right? So how are you blaming me for this? Hang on. Okay. I had this Frankenstein wrap with sweet onion. This spinach here, you know, onions. It's disgusting.

My car smells like an MRE. The guy rings me up at $16. $16. I mean, unbelievably expensive. And the reason I blame you, hi, boy, is because you've been beating this drum so much. When I see that sign, I go, well, that's obviously disgusting, but Pat lives on it, so it can't be that bad. i go well that's obviously disgusting but pat lives on

it so it can't be that bad boy was i wrong also very expensive yeah but dylan i also use food as energy as opposed to enjoyment for most of my meals well this was at a pitch it was supposed to be energy you're right let's get into the show oh well hold on we got some housekeeping hey stewart who's our amazing ad on our facebook group and this might uh if you haven't joined our facebook group another below deck podcast that now is the time because uh some say stewart posts way too much i say i agree okay hey stewart make this official so as we mentioned on the last episode dylan and i are at odds with one another we want to add a second show to this feed and

we're gonna go back deep into the archives of below deck lore and we're gonna start at the very beginning or kind of the beginning is is where dylan and i are bumping heads he wants to start recapping season one of below deck from 2012 yeah so we'll be doing an extra one a week exactly from the vault exactly and i want I want to start on season two from 2013 when Captain Lee and Kay Chastain joined the show. Right, which is to bring it back to Subway, it's like, I would like a sandwich, but first take a couple bites out of it

and then give it to me. Right. Because the way that you would do it is insane. All right. Right? So here's my problem with doing it from season one. And Stuart, this is what you got to do.

Do a poll, an official poll up there, season one or season two, and give a little description of who the characters are in season one. Oh, come on, Patrick. No, no, it's necessary.

We don't pay the guy. It's necessary, Dylan. Otherwise, it's a coin toss. It's not a coin toss. All right. So I want you to do that poll, Stuart, and I want you guys to weigh in, and I need like a thousand of you guys to weigh in.

So Dylan and I know we're picking the correct property to recap so that we're giving you guys more bang for your non-buck, you cheapos. Okay. Don't be cheapo, go to Patreon. So join us on YouTube at BatTV. The reviews have been coming in. We'll cover one at the end of the episode.

We have episode five or six or seven. We're getting into the doldrums, starting to all blend together. But I thought it was a good episode. Man, are these department heads just losing their goddamn gourds, man. I mean, it's absolutely crazy. Doesn't need to happen

this way. Can I get my thoughts and knots? Sure. Decent episode filled with a half a dozen examples of why no one should ever pay for one of these things. No bowl for chicken bones. What do we just throw the bones in the ocean?

Great vacay if you want your dress melted. Right. And then let us not forget that little boat flying accident where two paying customers slammed their heads against each other. Would have been a good idea to maybe recommend wearing a helmet prior to having two imbeciles float around at 60 miles an hour and colliding. Well, when you have an evil child, I don't know. You can't really game plan for that.

Once you have your first thing that needs to be exercised then you can kind of game plan in the future but that kid tried to kill that guy i mean glenn wouldn't uh you know in his wildest dreams think he had a pupil like that exactly all right now i'm loving gary's downfall too because he is i've mentioned the beloved sex addict of this franchise for a number of years now and now the chickens have come home to roost he's turned into a desperate pathetic pig he's a jerk as a supervisor so petty with chase by the way we're interviewing chase this week uh continue to add your questions on that facebook feed yeah uh and sorry we had to reschedule on chase and we love chase and we love peyton we just had to reschedule yeah we had to reschedule anyway so it's fun watching his downfall and also this episode had something i'd never seen

before because you're always you know striving to see new things from a for an episode and its characters colin did you know he's a truth sayer a truth teller dylan did you hear him i haven't heard people be this honest with their various so i'll be quite honest you know you said you were high yeah i completely am now oh and i i tuned out I didn't hear what you said the last five seconds. Okay. Well, my point is, is he's a truth teller. He told Gary to his face he's a dick. Yeah.

He told Daisy she's a fucking crybaby. Right, right. And he told that little Jacob he almost went to jail for murder. I mean, the guy is being honest. He's like the John Taffer of this boat. You blow it. What are you doing leaving rotten chicken in your freezer for three days all right all right all right what are you doing taking a cigarette break oh and last piece of business can someone

corroborate there is a picture of our venture capitalist uh primary john with billy the fire fest scumbag who just got out of the clink and apparently those two might be doing business with each other and that makes john a conman my favorite uh julia fox podcast clip of all time is when uh billy mcfarland's and she's like so do you think that if you were a different color you might have gotten or a sentence and you know she might be she's probably right but it's just like so julia fox it's just wow what a great show stop listening to this one and go listen to that one you should um i didn't think it was that good of an episode 30 knots um kaylin i thought it was a pretty decent episode especially for the fact that they were on the boat the whole time a lot of little fun nuggets in there.

Yeah, I gave it 55 knots. 55 knots seems high. Gosh, it's one of those days where I just don't care about the scale. You know, there are some days where I'm like, no, 55 is too high. Oh, I've been on the other end of your ire, not respecting the scale. Who's not respecting it today? Well, you spit out out 14 17 times in a row and i start to in my ears perk

up um uh fine episode 30 pots so we clash and burn in this episode you brought up colin i know that he's like the john taft of the boat and everything, but Colin's got something crawled up there too. I mean, everybody's got a shitty attitude. Maybe Mercury was in retrograde. Oh, it's that time of year, Dylan. Yeah. Me and Pat are going to get into a business-ending fight, and then we'll make up.

All right, so Daisy is pissed that there have been complaints and that there are people on the beach and that Lucky is doing yoga instead of making double espressos with cinnamon and vanilla. And to be honest with – what? I agree with Daisy. I mean it's ridiculous. Well, I tried to break down who's truly at fault here. Okay. Glenn.

We got John with his family politely waiting for TJ and his lovely wife, Lauren, to grab a bite of food, seeing as they'd been ignored by the inadequate Sardinian health care system for 14 hours. Right, right, right. They've just returned back from the horrors of a Sardinian emergency room. Exactly. So then I'm like, you know, John's being polite and his family's being polite. And, of course, TJ and Lauren need to sit down and get comfortable. God, that sounds like a horrible thing to have to spend time in a goddamn waiting room waiting room and so i'm trying to pinpoint blame here and really all fingers just point at captain glenn yeah because he's the one who stepped in here just like those other dumb horrible fake

captains captain sandy captain uh lee the minute you start stepping in these departments and uh you know you affect the the leadership because why do the sea rats flee to the ocean? They have an authority problem. Also, a drinking problem. And they hate their parents. If they're alive. If they're alive. Many of them are alive but mangled.

The saddest thing about this episode, dare I say this early arc, is that I feel as though we've lost our serial murderer, Captain Glenn. He's no longer removed from the things that are beneath him. He has to daydream about blood. He's all Captain Sandy this season, and it's really, really quite yucky.

It is. God. Selling too much salami. That's what it'll do to you, man. All right. Can you believe that we come in here and we have, like have opinions on this? I question it sometimes late at night.

I can't believe I make a living talking about this dumb show. That's what happens when you sell salami. Somebody could ask me about this in a year. I'd be like, what are you talking about? It's all a lie. I'm kidding we care it we do care this episode was really good and it's sad that glenn is no longer fun horror murder it makes me sad so um tj decides to take a nap well don't sleep too long you are likely concussed

um alex is doing his best like bickram sex cult leader thing here on the beach i think alex is he's playing the long con gary is like fly paper you know and alex is like i don't want to say velvet because you know he's not Definitely not, but comparatively speaking. He's just giving people room and subtly trying to teach yoga poses. And we see it from a mile away, but it's not Gary. I mean, he's waiting until people get drunk, and then he's spinning their legs in the air. Can I tell you what's happening to Gary is what happens to a lot of old guys

that are really gross still hanging out at bars hitting on 20-year-olds. He's had one way of attracting females his entire life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's all starting to crumble. He's losing his hair. His face is even redder than usual. And they can smell the desperation. Okay, so Gary helps do a little dishes,

breaks the sponge like a mongoloid. I mean, he just splits the fucking thing in half. It's a screw cap, Gary. We finally head to the beach, the primary throws a football, and hits TJ's wife in the head. I mean, this family is attempting to do something really sinister, I think. Now, I do want to back up for one second because, look, TJ, I feel so bad for you, man. I want to back up for one second because, look, TJ, I feel so bad for you, man.

But perhaps when you got back to the boat after spending 14 hours in the emergency room of the inadequate Sardinian health care system, you might have let John and the family know, I might just crash out and take a nap. And perhaps he did, and that was edited out. But I thought it would have been nicer because, remember, everyone's waiting for an hour and a half while he's sitting down eating you know whatever he was eating oh is that what was going on well there that's why the picnic was delayed because John told uh told the crew he's like uh we'll get to the picnic in a in an hour we want to hang out with uh TJ yeah how thoughtful of him yeah yeah and then I was thinking you know what I totally understand why TJ would blow off the picnic can you imagine sitting in that waiting room with all those ailments? I don't know when it was last time you guys were at a emergency room. It's always horrific things.

Someone's probably missing a finger, you know, bad motorcycle accident. Sure, sure. Some dude with a fireplace poker stuck up his asshole. No, Dylan, I'm telling you, like every third visit is someone who stuck something up their asshole. Yeah, yeah. It's true, true, true. All. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. True. True. All kinds of horrific things.

Uh, anyway, but, uh, perhaps, and that concludes, uh, statistics with Pat.

Well, a third of ER visits are people who have shit shoved up their ass and it's true. It's true. It's true. I, you know, uh, only because I don't know how long we'll be talking about this episode i don't think there's a lot of meat on the bone right dylan i've shared this story with you but perhaps the

below deck audience hadn't heard this uh i went to my buddy mcrichie's uh after his first wedding i just went to his second one still got that cough no i don't i'm so high right now it's too much smoke and uh so we all go to vegas right and mick ritchie's having he's got a lot of friends from all the country what year 2000 uh 2010 okay and um so we're all waiting in vegas at the hotel it's like we all got there like eight we put got our drink on what hotel i think it was a hard rock because we were going to see motorhead there the next night. Oh, so much gross about that. Oh, sure. So anyway, there's two guys who just are flying in from Florida

and they hold us all up for three hours and we're all at this stupid hotel. I hate gambling. Fucking the fuckers show up at like midnight. They said they're just going to shower up and they'll come down. Before you know it's 1 a.m., the two sons of bitches passed out in their hotel room. I'm four hours and i'm dating ashley that girlfriend that i didn't really like that much i'm so excited to get away and hang out with the guys and these two motherfuckers ruined

it they pretty much did what tj did to that picnic and you were wondering the entire time what does this have to do with anything but he brought it around making Making people wait. Just cut them loose. To be fair, if I was TJ, I'd want to go down too because can you imagine sitting at this table eating a fruit bowl or whatever and that little kid is just staring at you and not blinking. He's like Damien from the old movie. He's like, I almost got you, motherfucker. He's like, I'm going to take a nap because I'm uncomfortable and fatigued. Yeah, next thing you see is TJ's at the top of the boat with a noose around his neck and he's like, Jacob, I'm doing and fatigued. Yeah, next thing you see is TJ's at the top of the boat

with a noose around his neck, and he's like, Jacob, I'm doing this all for you. Sorry, deep cut from the old man. All right, so Daisy gets a text. Well, they get to the beach, and things are not going well. There is no bull for the bones, and I'm with the dad.

I mean, you're paying an absurdly stupid amount of money for this um this vacation emphasis on absurdly stupid and you know yeah can we get a bowl for the bones i mean my god what are we in joshua tree right now let me break this down perhaps a little bit more when you're paying this much money it's not just about there being food put in front of you and a table being there. The real money is spent with the details. And when a detail, as you'd think, as minute as just an extra bowl is missing, it shows your lack of attention to detail. The things that make the things feel special are the things that you didn't even think of. That's just part of the procedure. When you walk in and see a washcloth

shaped like a fucking cock and someone spent time doing that, you're like, wow. You're like, I'm home. So Daisy gets a text from Lucky reporting on this tragedy. Guys think the picnic sucks. I agree with them.

It does suck. It's not great, but this game of telephone makes things even worse. Now, Pat, we've talked numerous times about the treacherous mistakes that can happen in a game of telephone. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I feel like one time we were talking about it, and you were like, this chick from high school got banged and then it gets passed around and it's like she banged everyone i think was right yeah that's no that

was true that was my first girlfriend she did bang everyone okay broke my heart man i had a heart can i had no intimacy with women for 10 years after that yeah yeah but yeah telephone are you high no all right so um yeah i mean daisy is this is not a good time to send a matter of fact text without any kind of softening yes they're just they're having a bad time um obviously daisy um just balloons in a bad way says she hates people she hates laundry she wants to go deeper out into the ocean get away from everybody um and then asha almost cuts her finger off i mean this little kid has brought something aboard this vessel that is insidious.

So. Is that that monk fish? No, a satanic spirit. Well, Dylan, look, a chef, well, I only know this from watching the Food Network. Every 10th episode of Chopped, someone loses a fucking index finger, man. Really?

They just wrap a piece of saran wrap around it and a Band-Aid, and they're up frying, they're cooking dessert next round. Right, right, right. They're like, I've made a jelly bean hash, and it has my blood on it. Actually, a judge one time was like, this looks amazing. Unfortunately, I can't eat it because your blood's right boy you got dinged for that and the guy was from boston he was like come on pussy we're filming you eat around it um all right so chase and gary the feud deepens it's petty

and gary was wrong it's petty and g's wrong. Yeah. Chase gets much more leash for doing the Mickey Mouse cadence because he's under attack by an enemy that's not supposed to be attacking him. Exactly. I can't wait to talk to him about that. And, you know, Gary's fighting two different ailments. He's got a sig brain and wet brain. He's a blackout drunk or an alcoholic. Sig brain is good.

Siggy's. That keeps you alert, right yeah nicotine is a is a neural lube it prevents you from getting dementia good to know but wet brain's a killer though i have that uh no you don't so daisy is whispering more about the horrors of the day. And this is where I'm looking. I'm watching the show. I'm just like, Daisy, baby girl, things are fine. Everything is going fine.

You need one of those nights. 14 shots, 19 cigarettes, a game of truth or dare and almost drowning. And just blow off some steam. Because this, I mean, Patrick, how many of these episodes have we seen this far? This is the standard of care on this show. There's nothing to get that upset about. Don't even get me started on a 45 minute wait between courses after three pieces of tortellini.

Right. That's what happens when you book these vacations. And then they bring the plates and you hear them say like, you're a fucking piece of shit when they walk away. All right. So let's go sailing. And let's also

give everyone yet another reason to not do this, especially to the sea rats in the culinary sphere it's so dangerous down there in the kitchen i mean the beans the erica vera are just slamming into the wall she's bleeding this child has brought something quite evil aboard this vessel it's really really sad well i have to say this. We want to talk about attention to detail. Go on Amazon. For $5.99, you can buy yourself a kit. They do it for kid-proofing. You can lock all those cabinets shut. If a four-year-old can't rip a door open,

certainly Glenn's sailing can. I think they have the cabinets locked. sometimes the sea rats can be forgetful but the problem is the live fire pots and pans um and perhaps a blade being used to trim the area cover that's the stuff that you know it just slipped your mind you didn't uh secure the pot of boiling water uh so gary has been shot down numerous times at this point by mads softly so but loud enough i mean i think everybody watching this show sees that mads is during hours of lucidity when the sun is high knows very very clearly that she wants nothing to do with him she has what the kids call the ick. Right. She has the ick. But the thing about icks is that they are relentless. They wear you down.

And eventually you have Stockholm Syndrome. Boom. Like that. That's what's going to... I think in the trail for the next episode, they're making out in the... Yeah. Somewhere. Alex gets too fucked up again. He has to go to bed. guy in the trail for the next episode they're making out in the yeah somewhere alex alex gets

too fucked up again he has to go to bed and then gary's red face is in there he's like is there any part of you that would ever want me maybe and she's like sure all right so um let's get some more cosmic misfortune with lucky. She burns a hole in the primary's dress. She's screaming for Mads. And I was like, well, she must know that Mads can make this situation better. And finally, Mads arrives and she looks at the dress and she says, this might be a problem. I was like, that's not very helpful at all. Why was she yelling for Mads?

Yeah, that was odd. Does Mads outrank her? I think just, I don't want to say by competence. Mads seems like she knows what she's doing. But Mads does not have to contend with cosmic misfortune. I mean, Lucky's family did something a couple generations ago. And it's a cute curse. It's not like true tragedy.

But she is, you know, crestfallen by accidents every once in a while right and mads doesn't have to deal with that you know what i mean pat what happens next well i think uh so i think daisy gets pulled into the mix here and daisy says well i'm already having a shitty day so i mean how much worse could it be oh you uh burned a hole through the uh oh right right so uh yeah so she does the right thing she's gonna have to tell uh lauren that uh they burnt a hole through her dress right right and i don't know if she does it here uh then we find out glenn realized this is smart glenn good catch glenn he's like i i know i'm invited to dinner tonight yeah but i think everybody else forgot gary was

invited by jacob right so he goes down to alicia Alicia's galley and makes sure there's enough food to go around. And there is. You asked what happened next. Luckily. Yeah, no, no, no. That is what happens next. And Daisy's day just continues to take a shit on her. Now we move on to Alex negging fat ass Mads.

Did you catch this? I didn't. He was like buttoning her up like all 105 pounds of her and he was like he pulled like a who's like a like a

who's like a like a he's like a Give me an example. Example he's like give me an example example no like Tooch came to mind Tooch the Toochmeister

Stanley Tooch oh Stanley Tooch from Devil Wears Prada ah yes but it's more like Larry Miller in the Princess Diaries it's like

whoever the dude was in the parent trap he's like he's like suck it in fat ass and it's like it's dude was in the parent trap. He's like, suck it in, fat ass. And it's like it's supposed to be a way for her to want to fuck him. And it works. It works. Never got that.

Alex is playing this all right. The problem is he has a drinking problem. Everything else is top notch. Yeah. All right, Alex, you got this in the bag all we need you to do is not get to such a drunken state where you are literally incoherent you're not even sure if you're alive don't do that got it all right so gary is um going to be sitting down to dinner and daisy's pissed off about this. So while blowing up balloons, Gary tells Daisy that she exudes a stressful aura to her,

and that kind of spheres out her environment. He's doing this thing where he's being a fucking fifth-grade bully to her. It's gross. He is, and let me explain what i think's taking place here i feel like his confidence is just being eroded and it's throwing off his entire game he's making him a person that we don't recognize yeah and you know gary was always kind of uh gary but now he's the charm is gone yeah well not to the primary because when we sit down to dinner

the primary pulls uh the captain of the vessel over and he goes hey that one right there gary he's got it he's got charisma and glenn's like what are you what are you saying? First up is homemade tortellini with garlic, confit, and truffle, micro-planned over the top. And we have some time in between courses. 45 minutes to be exact. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

I just ate three pieces of pasta. That's insane. I just ate three pieces of pasta. That's insane. I know. But luckily for us, within this 45-minute gap between those three bites of pasta and the monkfish, is a history lesson.

We finally learn the, what is it, etymology learn the, what is it? Etymology? Is that what you say? The origin of the name Parsnips 3. Oh, that was nice. Now, yeah, it turns out there was a knight. And that's what the boat's named after. So local monkfish is up next with lobster tail and artichoke puree.

Listen, Alicia, I think, is a very competent chef. She's been putting out some good food. Artichoke puree. I'm like, ugh. It's gross. This charter is cursed. Filet with pea puree and parsnip chips is up next. And then we cut from this dinner to Chase picking at his toes and browsing XXX videos on his cell phone.

I'm like, what are we doing here? At least he's doing it in his room. Earlier, fucking Primary John was grabbing his balls in front of his kid. He's a fucking ball sniffer, too. Crazy. Smells his fingers. Crazy how gross that is because

we've talked about what we would do, and it's nothing even remotely close to that gross. I mean, we've talked about taking a shit on the teak, but we would never scratch our balls or anything. Touching railings. It's disgusting.

So we get to the gelato bar. Way too much gelato. What are you going to do with all that gelato? Way too much. If you had that at a gelato store, that would take you three hours of customers to empty those things.

It would get through most of the day. Good God. And that's the kind of thing that's like, that's the Sea Rat service. It's like, what we're going to do is we're going to not have anything for them to put the chicken wing bones in and we'll tell them, just throw it behind you. There are lots of

rodents here that will pick it up. But what we are going to do is we're going to get buckets of gelato. Tubs of it. So they can have a scoop each and go to bed. But the gelato is served alongside something.

What is that, Patrick? Oh, that's the awards ceremony. Yeah. Yeah, I got some of the awards handed out. You know, because Gary did it? Yeah. Okay, okay. So let's start here.

Best Straight A Student Award. Right. That was nice. That was nice. Best Accent Award. And are you going to say who the recipients are? Oh, well, the children got the Straight A's award. Best Accent Award. Are you going to say who the recipients are? Oh, well, the children got the straight A's award.

Okay. And then I think it's his new wife. Forgive me, I didn't catch her name. Okay. Definitely not Jacob's parents, mother. She got Best Accent Award. Obviously, I think she's from Eastern Europe. Yeah.

And then Best Business Partner. I guess that one's headed over to TJ. I got it from the same booklet Trump got Melania. Yeah, he's got a couple units in the Trump Tower. And then this one was a weird one. Someone got handed a Best Double Penetration. I wonder who got that one. That was an odd one. No, no, no.

There was no Double Penetration award. There was no double penetration award. I, you know, it doesn't need to be a family. It doesn't need to be a family show, this podcast. Right, right, right. But I do not like being dragged down into these depths. Forgive me. Because now what we have to do is put out this fire wherein you've brought some AVN category

into the Essence Awards or whatever they call them. And Gary was emceeing, and because Gary was emceeing, they were really, really sad because all the Sea Rats just left, and then it was just Gary at a table with them. And he's no fun. He's down in the dumps right now. Dylan, I did want to mention,

have you ever caught an AVN Awards ceremony? No. When you see a winner receive an award for best anal, and she's in tears. Well, they work very fucking hard, so I would cry too. But also, have I ever caught an AVN Award? Where do you watch that? I don't know. I think HBO ran it, you know?

Really? Yeah. I love when someone achieves their dreams't know. I think HBO ran it. Really? Yeah. I love when someone achieves their dreams, Dylan. Yeah, I do too. I mean, it's what everybody roots for. Rudy, Tori Black. I can't think of any more, but I'm sure there are tons. Frodo.

All right. of anymore but i mean i'm sure there are tons frodo all right so um uh we chase says something about how he's used to wash shit out of his nose and we get to the next day next morning vibes are still off but the guests are ready to suck down a little tail of the cat and if that was i don't know whether it was purposefully incorrect or just blatantly incorrect i think both are possibilities and both make me grossed out that's that thing where like if i was on that vacation it was day three and he was like you guys ready for a little tale of the cat or what's it called i'd be like would you shut the fuck up what are you doing with that you're 50 and from new jersey or chicago you know what it's called jesus christ man um so he then says one of us should penetrate the fruit bowl at this point i'd get up i'd go your child

is satanic i'm fucking out of here this is is ridiculous. You remind me of Pat. He's talking about fucking the fruit bowl. He'd go, who's Pat? All right, what happens next? Glenn parks that goddamn boat and John won't shut the fuck up. Is there something wrong with the monkey? They say something's wrong with the monkey? I didn't catch that. Kalen?

I think it had something to do with that kind of knot that he threw over. It got caught under the boat. It might be some kind of monkey knot, I was assuming. Thank you, Kalen. Great, Kay. Thank you. That was great. Way to go.

Anyway, John does something that I hate because I own a service company. And I don't like when I'm doing something and I'm checking something out. I'm inspecting. And I got this fucking hassle in my ears. I got a little high because I thought that it was condescending the way that we said it was great, what Kalen did. The fans have gotten me all fucked up.

Like, I can't be mean to Kalen. I meant it. If you meant it, it's not condescending. I did mean it, but I thought it might come off as condescending. Oh, no, you can hear your snark. Well, so what happened is you kept going and then I was thinking about that. You got in your head. And I didn't hear it. Oh oh okay so don't get up in your head okay are you all right are you offended by anything that felt genuine okay okay there you go and what pat is about to say i can 100 back up

working with him every week all right we didn't need that though right you got customers coming in talking to you and you're trying to fucking concentrate. And I'll usually throw this line. Hey, just so you know, it's 500 bucks a day if you stand next to me. I mean extra. That normally is, some of them get it and they walk away. I'm like, good, I got rid of him, but Kalen. In what capacity do you work for him when he's selling sneakers or driving Uber? Okay, so yes we we dock um

and gary i think there was a moment where the primary was like nervous about asking for a picture with glenn i think there was something like that yeah yeah they're all fans of the show clearly uh based on their invites why would you be nervous about taking a picture with Glenn? These people, they jump out of the television. Tell him to get on all fours. You'll put your foot on his back, and then you can take the picture. He'd do it, I'm sure. That's true.

That's true. It's make-believe. But I want to say 3,000 insane people went to BravoCon last year. These people are celebrities to some. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, listen, I'd have a panic attack if i saw glenn him and leo uh so gary continues to do this really immature you know i don't want to sound all portland on everybody but

psychologically abusive behavior from g to his best buddy, whose vagina I believe he's entered. I mean, this is a real intimate relationship. I think she's denied any sex, but definitely they have some intimacy. Yeah, he's got the cough. Well, I was breathing in all that marijuana smoke earlier. The marijuana smoke. Made my throat dry.

So Gary says, he keeps talking about how this has been a great charter. It's been the best charter. And it's so not true that it has to be aimed at Daisy's fragileness right now. And I just don't get it. Gary is just being so yucky this season. And you've talked about it before. just being so yucky this season. And you've talked about it before.

His overbearing, breathy approach to prey is no longer working. It's no longer charming, if there ever was. So there is an identity issue here. A split in oneself, so to speak. All right, so we have to get to the tip meeting. Wait, hang on a second. That's just bizarre. I already said that.

We're here. Oh, that was a bit that I had written down. This is the bit. When the, when they're, no, no, don't flag it. We don't need to cut anything. Yeah, we leave that all in. This is the bit I was going to do. Where they're leaving, right? And the guy says, we feel guilty that TJ was in the emergency room.

I felt bad about the Spice Girls party because TJ was in the emergency room. bad about the Spice Girls party because TJ was in the emergency room and then he just kind of like stares down and gets lost in like kind of a red haze and he says something about how the saddest part is that we didn't finish the job or something

and then he's like snatched out of it and so that was the bit that I was going to do. So happy I did it. Let's get to the tip meeting. Tip meeting! This is where we see once again that Glenn is a flamethrower this season. These tip meetings, no one is safe, especially not Daisy. Well, he goes around as he's apt to do. I forgot if he said how much money it was.

No, no, no, that's later. Yeah, he goes around to each department. He basically tells Alicia, wait times suck. And dish clearing also sucks. Right, right. And then he talks to the exterior and he says, you know, that flight board injury, probably preventable. Colin suggests wearing helmets. Great idea, Colin.

Fucking teacher's pet. And then he gets around to Daisy and he tells her she sucks. Yeah. And then he says her service is like a 95 but that's not going to pass the mustard when the other five sucks so uh that's the ball for the wings would fit under that five precisely it's all the other little details that i discussed earlier so anyway daisy gets pretty upset by this uh and uh i think she gets up and walks off. Yeah, she walks off in a state of just, you know, we've all been there. Oh, yeah.

You just can't handle it. You need a break and you need to cry. Lucky for her, Gary is there to like hit on her. to like hit on her uh she gets back to the tip meeting and this is where like the sea dog i'm telling you there's something in the in the air and i think it's the energy that mercury is raining down on this planet at the time this the show is being filmed because sea dog is like he's tom hanks in a league of their own there's no crying and yawning yeah it's like hey sea dog you fix the engine and we're appreciative of that it'll blow up next episode so you know but you're you've been just fucking hanging out helping roll

out pasta for the last uh 10 days so what's up with you being the Lieutenant governor of this boat? Well, it's true. I'd say it's one of those examples though, Dylan of what he's saying is absolutely correct. It's probably not the right time in the way to articulate, but I don't think it was. He was like,

Captain Glenn is just saying that we're doing a great job. And you know, that's not true. You did that whole thing where you were like, he went around and said everybody fucking sucks so c-dog it's an intense environment um go have a sig and that's exactly what we do we go up to the bow and gary gary and the c out 23 grand oh yeah uh 2250 each i think that's the second week in a row that tips like that. Big tip.

Good tip. Way to go, John. B minus tip. Maybe a B. 84. So Gary and the Seadog really go at one another's throats. And Gary says some stuff that, you know, I don't think we've ever been at this place with these two. They've always poked and prodded.

But this is serious. at this place with these two. They've always poked and prodded, but this is serious. Now, keep in mind, this argument is spurred on because Colin didn't like that Gary took a ciggy break after that free dinner he just ate.

And that's what started all this. Which I don't really understand the logistics of fueling his rage towards Gary. They all wanted to be up there, but the guests weren't even up there. So you guys weren't going to bed anyways. Why does Gary need to be up there but the guests weren't even up there so you guys weren't going to bed anyways why does gary need to be up there maybe they needed to coach him up on the awards or something but i would say to the sea dog into the sea rats think about you being at

a dinner for two hours what would you want to do when you get up you'd smoke 15 times throughout the entire dinner fortunately dylan we've actually witnessed this is the third charter where charter guests now I think third in a row where they've actually asked a worker to sit down and have dinner with them. Colin has in fact sat down for dinner and I do believe he had a cigarette after. You bum a fag. Now, this is what I want to

say. You know how I always mention in Vanderpump when we recap that with Ruby that when they're arguing, sometimes they're arguing like DJ James Kennedy, he hates some of the cast members and it's because he wants to stay on the show and he's mad that they're stealing his moments. So there's this underbelly of resentment

that comes out in camera. With Colin and Gary, where I'm going with this, Colin might have been like, he's really saying, Gary, because you've been on this show three years, you think now you get to go do this. Oh, love that.

That undercurrent of drama is what I'm throwing down. Well, we will excuse me, we will explore those undercurrents next week. We get a sea rat night out. That'll be fun. This cast has been prone to abolish snake. Let's talk.

Snake that goes to bed early very often. No, no, no, no no no no we've had lots of what are you talking about this season's been total smut I don't think anybody's consummated their relationship yet well Patrick I mean you can't hasten people like that I mean that's an intimate thing yeah but they're sea rats

that's a good point alright we have to go but I did want to remind everybody jump in the iTunes ratings and reviews and leave reviews not like this. Yikes. Four stars from Linda Yoga Girl. Now, I wanted to tell people that you can do this. And our craziest fans do, where they will redo their reviews.

If you just feel like writing something new go ahead only if it's nice but what nut jobs do is they like have a new and they're manic right so they're bipolar they'll go from five stars to two stars to once i mean it's just all over the place right so guys uh this is from linda yoga girl uh guys this was rough you've got it backwards more b words and less talk of violence oh boy let it rip with the offensive talk about sea rats and guests that's what we're here for not graphic descriptions of physical violence i don't remember us doing that one i don't think we've ever done it maybe that was a bad review to read oh no i think that's good you're nailing it don't

leave reviews like this reviews like that leave reviews like this. Reviews like that. Leave reviews like this. Welcome aboard by Sardinia Major Crimes. This is five stars. This is my favorite podcast that I listen to and has overtaken many on its way to becoming number one. Hope we get there. The guys

have been in full form over the last two seasons especially. Ruby was a great addition this week and hope she becomes a mainstay. Kaylin is cool too, I guess. Keep up the good work. Parentheses, please don't read this on air. Now that has everything. That has humor. That has five stars. That has

specific knowledge about the show. Do you think they want you to read that on air? Not sure. Why? I was curious. But you don't have to be that thoughtful. Just leave five stars. Kind words. Join us on patrion.com for Vander pump, uh, season finale finale and the reunions.

And, we'll see on Instagram, YouTube, all those places. Yeah, that's it. All right. I'm Dylan saying,

I love you. Bye guys. Kaelin. Later.