Another Below Deck Podcast - The Art of Sushi Making | Below Deck S4 E13
Episode Date: June 24, 2023Pat and Dylan are back to break down what yachting should look like, backing into ports, dates, mosaic sushi, who's getting fired, rabid dogs and even more from Bravo's Below Deck.Ad Free and Uncensor...ed at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@BadT.V.Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/
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Now, this is some DiCaprio, Beyonce, Sinatra yachting shit, okay?
Fuck it.
It's Tuesday.
Let's take you to eat dinner in a different country.
Now, this is what I'm talking about.
Yep, yep, yep.
I loved it.
This isn't some fucking picnic on a beach with fucking hypodermic needles on it,
with dogs that don't belong to anybody trying to bite you.
Yeah, yeah.
Imagine that you pitch to Leo.
You're like, like listen we could get
all choked up about bonafaccio but i could also take you to a beach where there's a bunch of strays
you mean like young girls is that code or no no no no no i mean fucking rabid dogs little ones Little ones, too.
Yay!
Welcome aboard.
It's the second episode of the week of another Below Deck Podcast.
My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one Patrick Kickey.
Hey! Permission to come aboard.
Granted. So I just went to go get coffees.
And you know what happened?
I ordered mine.
Splash of vote.
Two pumps of vanilla. I yours and lupita's black
and in my head i was like you know they did it's just easier to get the black right yes but then i
remembered that you're a sweet boy so i backed the entire lineup and it was a real it was a real you
know i don't know what i'm gonna do here and i did ask her to take it back
into the window and they had had it right there i mean they were operating like it was a well-oiled
machine and i just threw a complete wrench into it wow thanks for doing that i hope that's enjoyable
i'm really enjoying it i'm sure lapid is enjoying hers as well yeah yeah yeah so
it's episode 35 of the season.
We are here to break down more thruple, more fupple,
and sushi being eaten off of Gary's not-so-hairy nipples,
but still quite hairy nipples.
Oh, yes.
Anybody ever hear of a banana leaf?
Yeah.
Dylan, before we get into this,
I do want to give the audience a little insight to what they'll be hearing in the coming weeks,
seeing as Bravo's decided that this may be a quote-unquote thing,
that there's two episodes every Monday.
Dylan and I, at least as long as our bodies, our health,
our well-being can, I i guess take it yeah we're gonna
watch both episodes as they air and we're gonna recap them as a single episode and it's just so
sad to see you know they're they're giving us the bachelor treatment they're they're they're they're
they're they're they're giving us too much below deck i don't think anybody needs two hours a week
of below deck but here we are breaking
it all down for you has anybody ever heard of a banana leaf you never heard of a banana leaf
no no i'm just reiterating that it was unsanitary what they did uh not only were there some hairs
there i'm pretty sure i saw a zit yeah disgusting wasabi on the nipple? Yeah. You got humors in my rice.
You know?
It's disgusting.
You know what else is disgusting?
Daisy's lack of commitment to her profession.
Amazing, yes.
Really?
Yes.
Oh, wow.
I was going to call this episode, if i got to title it daisy's descent
yeah because that's what happened here i'll go more in depth in the episode about daisy okay
so so let's let's pitch this right daisy's descent she's been terminated from this industry because
she's been incompetent and two-boy crazy for some time she goes spelunking with a group of gals she finds some
goddamn demon in the depths of some goddamn cave and it fucking rips them all to shreds
daisy's descent yeah then you think everybody died and somehow that first movie made so much money
a couple of them survived in descent part two yeah yeah
did she get out in the end or was it oh she did yep i thought it was a hole i thought it was like
a fantasy or something there's a part two dillett okay i saw it i rented on vod love that movie oh
vod huh wow uh may i give my thoughts and knots?
Yeah.
Okay.
You watch black mirror.
I've seen a couple episodes.
Okay.
No,
that's it.
Okay.
Uh,
we were just watching it the other night and I was like,
I can't be,
I don't care about this.
It's like, why is this episode an hour long and 40 minutes in they're telling you like
no wait it's because matthew mcconaughey directed it oh really well they just have a bunch of
doofuses uh direct that well matthew mcconaughey is not a doofus he's a green light uh kind of
shaman well why do you make the episode an hour long well i don't know if it was his episode but
anyways go ahead okay it's very apparent to this
podcaster because you know i recap a lot of bravo content that there's a reason why bravo limits
sea rats seasons on this you know they uh they don't generally let uh reoccurring sea rats um
you know like three seasons long as they have with daisy thank you for saying it and gary
the reason they don't is because sea rats don't do a good job
of holding the line or balancing life,
which is you got to pretend or do a good job.
You are technically still serving people on these vessels.
Ride that line and also on land,
sell skincare products on Instagram.
I think they get a little too in their heads
and they forgot why they're still being filmed on right they gnaw too much they gnaw way too much
and you know i was wondering why we you know cared more and care for more you know drama is not unlike the thruple but in other shows you know
i mean obviously the skandaval is uh iconic and incomparable but when we see things like uh i don't
know you're just more into other thruples that are on other reality tv shows it's just or things that
are of the same ilk but in a different setting.
And it's because,
it's what you're alluding to,
these sea rats have no roots.
These sea rats have no brick and mortar
to them whatsoever.
And without that brick and mortar,
we don't get enough of what we need
to really round out any tangible concern for their musings.
Ah, the emotional investment.
Exactly.
We don't have the brunch at toast talking about can you believe it.
We don't have the heartbreak warfare.
A fight in a public place with friends watching or something like that there's just not
enough of a social life to make these romances mean anything not too much the show is meant to
limit these sea rats to one-dimensional characters right drunk eat drink fuck right drink fuck right
right right and so when it's not a well-rounded three-dimensional character
uh a fully formed person yeah it is nearly impossible to be into this storyline you know
to compare this to um lord of the rings
and i'm not saying that legolas and gimleyli are plug-and-play, but they're not at the fore.
They're complementary and supplementary characters
that are absolutely crucial to a good sale.
But there is no Smeagol here.
There is no person who tries to hide away the darkest parts of themselves
and only after they succeed are they betrayed by the only person
that's ever given them love
in the last couple centuries, really.
There's none of that here.
So we just need everyone to drink,
to fuck,
and to wipe up puke.
That's it.
Yes.
And know your place, Sea Rat.
Hannah Fiera.
What did she do
when they gave her a couple seasons too long?
She thought she could bring drugs on the boat.
How about Captain Lee?
They say it's
because his bones weren't working so good anymore,
but I think it's because he liked
to drink.
Allegedly.
God damn it. Fucking defamation.
Allegedly.
There was one good part of the boat, this episode.
That reverse parking thing, that was incredible.
Patrick, Patrick, we often, on this program,
talk about how it's dumb, and it's dumb, and it's dumb,
and the music swells, and it's Mission Impossible.
Are we going to do the thing we do
every other episode i wanted to hate this so much but it made me for the first time in years
recapping below deck it made me want to be there it was such an assassin's creed kind of smoothed back into a beautiful
beautiful part of what looked like old world france i mean my god was it stunning ah and
driving home there from france all those frenchies going pardon me would you like some gray poupon
yeah yeah yeah great callback a little comedy in there and all the drama.
Right, right, right.
Because it was a callback to Wayne's World mocking the actual advertisement.
I forgot that scene in the film.
I just hearkened back to the mid-80s
when that was the first thing.
Yeah, and can you do your impression
of a French person one more time?
Pardon me, wouldn't you like some Grey Poupon?
Yeah, so I think we both give it probably 10 pots, right?
My accent?
No, the episode. Your accent's 100 oh uh well the first part of the episode i give it 10 yeah yeah i give it 10
probably and and because we begin with something that we mock so often this impending collision
with another vessel my wife and i were joking, and goofing with one another,
just in love, about how,
what if there was a camera on the other ship?
They would just be like,
just cool as a cucumber,
because they know that there's nothing wrong.
It's fine.
It's not really going to hit us.
They're cool.
Well, to set the scene here we have parsifal in jeopardy of being t-boned by another vessel yeah i was a little scared there dylan while they
the cameras tried to give us the impression that this was a nail biter and they were in fact uh
nearly a half you used my full christian name there you really were a little uh
now a little perked up at this.
But if you're going to buy into the show and the drama
that was created there, it was thankfully
the hard work and fast thinking crew
and those working
engines that got them out of harm's
way. Glenn, I do want to talk to you
sir, because he jokes after
they managed to avert
this crisis. He says,
move on to the next crisis yeah glenn i want to talk
to you glenn is so low on horror blood right now i mean he is fucking just glenn you nearly uh
escaped killing 14 people the engines worked today yeah um but as we've seen in this charter season,
the engines working is a coin flip at any given moment.
So let's think about this, you son of a bitch.
I would say it's like a three-sided die.
And two of the sides are bad.
You are now on Lee level with old Patty here.
Oh, stop it.
You're consumed with yourself.
You don't mean that.
You don't mean that. You don't mean that.
He's not paying attention.
None of these people are.
I'll tell you this.
I was actually thinking, because this could happen.
This show will get some people killed eventually.
Think about it.
Every other season, we almost got like a near fatality.
I'm thinking about it, and I don't think that it's a possibility
to have a three-sided die.
I think it's geometrically impossible.
I think you're right.
You have to round it out with some kind of wall,
thus making it a four-sided die.
Can't do it.
You think of a pyramid, three sides,
but there's a little butt to it.
Didn't you go to one of those fancy schools
where they have that fucking trigonometry?
Shouldn't you already know this?
I didn't take trig.
I took, I don't know, know mars volta class or something like that just smoke pot
listen to mars volta tried to play it poorly um so sorry for that horrendous story that horrendous
little personal story and getting us off track
about geometric impossibilities i on a serious note though dylan do you accept my apology i do
you're forgiven i do want to say this though it is dangerous what they're doing with this filming
the thing and half the cast has got their head up their asses thinking about how many instagram
followers they are yeah i mean you it's a dangerous occupation let me let me paint a pit this is what sailing on this vessel is like for these um chuggy wealths
i saw a video the other day of a girl she was snowboarding and she was singing along to whatever
was pumping in her fancy headphones she was up there shredding nar
and the captain said she had no idea how much danger she was in she starts going down the
mountain she's saying i'm up i'm up i'm fine she's just singing to herself she's having an
amazing day she's carving when she carves to the left the little gopro takes a peek behind her as a goddamn kodiak running at
her at 50 miles an hour and she's just going the bear's closing in on her luckily she takes a
little slope down and eventually picks up enough speed to render him bored but that's what sailing
aboard parsnips is like i mean at any moment at any moment you could be mauled it's very dangerous
yes so anyways well right after uh averting a massive death toll alicia's working on a mosaic
sushi which is not a thing uh it is the most white girl pinterest form of the Japanese art form known as sushi making sushi is served.
Uh, but that wouldn't be the last meal of the, uh, the, the gay primary or one of the guests.
Uh, he says cock would be his last meal. Come on, man. I listen. I know you love cock. I can
imagine it. Cox. Great. Have you tried nachos? But have you? I mean, let's
be serious. Way better than sweaty balls.
Well, I mean, depending on what
mood you're in. Sometimes you have a hankering
for something and there is
nothing else that will satiate it.
You know,
but
let's say. Cock is your last meal?
Yeah, that's not even a meal.
That's like, if you were on death's row and they were like, what's your last
meal?
And you said cock, they would say we can arrange you getting fucked or
fucking if you want.
But what's your last meal?
What's that a bill?
One.
Unless you bite it off.
And again, that's much like Smeagol taking his nasty teeth to a fish.
You know what I mean?
Sorry.
God damn it.
I do want to go back to that mosaic sushi for a second
because it was all in the tapestry
of a dead marine life, right?
And I was thinking...
Wait, say it again.
Well, the mosaic, it's the tapestry of marine life.
It's not glass or marble. Typically, that would be mosaic. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now it's the tapestry of marine life it's not glass or marble typically
oh right yeah yeah yeah now it's seaweed and dead meat yeah that's what i'm saying imagine the fish
that was super smart and you told them this is what we're going to do to your body after we kill
you okay first we're going to do we're going to cut off your head and then i'm going to use various
slices of various parts of your body and fashion them into a fucking pride flag right right right
what the hell is a pride
flag that's what the fish yeah the fish says imagine we take the first fish that can actually
have a conversation with us and we chub them into bits it's so it's so that is so american it is so
american ugly americans that's what the world thought when we made the first talking fish
sushi they were like that's ugly americans i can't believe it
and we were like fuck you go go fucking smoke and eat your wheat with no pesticides in it i
think i want to move out of the country me too yeah i was thinking of moving anyway already yeah
you were talking about the other day um the pros and cons of Los Angeles pros, some of the best food and best weather in the world.
But Italy has the same weather pretty much,
but they don't speak English there.
It's a whole fucking thing.
Sucks.
So Gary is still being very flirty in front of colin with daisy and i know we've got this
whole lying about sex thing but this shit is the thing that i would be pissed off about if i was
calling oh yeah like i get the you feeling left out but also daisy told him to not
tell you so respect that him like fucking giving her a motorboat and talking about his dick in
front of her and stuff that's when i would be like hey you should stop or i'm gonna you're
crossing the line yeah right yeah especially after i want to say colin says that gary gave him a
blessing to pursue daisy and that's still, but that was the subtext of their conversation.
But before that, Daisy meets with the team in the bridge to discuss the planning of dinner.
Will Gary be a model to have sushi eaten off his naked body?
$60,000 a day.
Hello, 2005.
Yeah. This sushi bit is so fucking lame. They've been doing this for reality TV shows for 20. Danny Masterson's calling. He's got a great idea. He
wants to pitch you and then he wants to go rape somebody. Hey, 2005. Yeah. Keep me for the number
one below deck podcast. So the guests hit the water and once again we do this um this thing that
it's pretty much monopolized by um two groups of people sassy gay guys and old horny women
they just talk to the servants as though they just they could fuck them at any time part of the trip there they they they arrived on this ship via shipping container for them they're like hey
alex you want to pop that shirt off while you're working come sleep in my bed tonight it's like
why aren't you talking to people like that that's so fucking weird that you're talking to people
yeah it's interesting yeah
can you imagine you know because you got because you got a friend who's...
Well, I'm a white male.
So I've been doing this for decades.
Yeah, I know.
It's disgusting.
But like you've got some friends who are still single
and they're out there like hitting on chicks
who are just trying to do their jobs.
I had a buddy that I almost...
I was at a bar for happy hour.
I almost climbed under the table
with things that he said the waitress came over took our orders she left and he said did you see
that and i was like see what see your nipples get hard there i was like okay i'm climbing under the
table just in case anybody else heard you say that to me it's so gross very gross right how conceited. No, it wasn't the draft.
It was my sex appeal.
It's my drink order.
Yeah, she's really turned.
Oh my God, that's so hot.
I wonder what part of you turned her on.
Your gray hair.
I'll have a skinny margarita.
Oh my God, he's health conscious.
All right, so Bonnie is coming. Oh my God. He's health conscious. All right. So Bonnie is coming.
Daisy's sister.
And believe it or not,
she drinks a lot.
Crazy.
It has been 13 minutes without service.
And I say that like I appreciated the Chiron,
by the way,
because I agree.
There were a lot of chyrons
tonight displaying daisy's incompetence because as we go throughout the night I think we've got
13 minutes we've got 20 minutes at dinner we've got 15 minutes while the guy's bleeding because
he head butted the door think about those stretches of time in all three of the situations it's horrible 13 minutes is the lowest amount of
time but it's it's when they're out kind of on the water partying when you want to feel like
you're being served it's the most understanding. I would argue that I would rather wait bleeding for 15 minutes
than wait without seeing a single soul for 20 minutes while I'm eating dinner.
That is absolutely insane.
It is absolutely insane.
She's obsessed with Colin and Gary.
She can't get them out of her head.
And I think she's forgotten that she needs to pretend
that she's a server on these boats.
I think she's forgotten that she needs to pretend that she's a server on these boats.
Daisy says it's actually completely unreasonable to have somebody up there at all times. I understand where you're coming from, but also it isn't.
No.
Yeah.
So let's get ready for dinner.
Believe it or not, we're going to kick things off with a caprese salad.
A culinary favorite of Bravo's Below Deck.
But we move on with tagliatelle arrabbiata and some beautiful in-shell scallops.
You know, again, I wish Duska was the chef.
Alicia's great. Alicia's great.
She's great.
But I want somebody to cook pork with the silver skin still very much on in a dry, dry pan.
And I want her to smoke while she's cooking it.
Oh, yeah.
Alicia's making fresh pasta.
It's not the same no no that particular charter that you're
reflecting on sandy was hiding in her cabin and was hunted down by the paying guests yeah you have
words with her about said meal yeah they were like did you microwave all of our oysters because
the shells are volcanically hot and And the oysters are...
It tastes like a bazooka joe.
Or has the texture of bazooka joe.
Sorry.
So the counter is out again.
The chyrons are there to really drive home.
17 minutes without service.
Okay, so it was 17 minutes.
We've all been there.
How many times have we been there?
Been there all the time.
Lots of times.
We have been there so many times you can't even count.
Yeah.
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If you're at a restaurant
and 17 minutes goes by,
am I insane for thinking
that's way too long?
It is too long.
It's way too long.
It's an absurd amount of time.
At least a check-in.
Of course,
you're not going to need something every 15 minutes,
but a drop by, you know what I mean?
It is worth mentioning that in the prior infraction by Daisy doing this,
Glenn had already had spoken to her about it.
So now this is the second time that she's letting this go by.
Yeah.
She de-gaffs.
You know what that means?
She put up a bullshit excuse? No, no, no. She doesn't give a Yeah. She de-gaffs. You know what that means? She put up a bullshit excuse?
No, no, no.
She doesn't give a fuck.
She de-gaffs.
Ah.
Yeah.
Because Glenn goes down to find Daisy
and remind her that guests need service.
You know, they're paying and whatnot.
Yeah.
And she says,
I was just up there five minutes ago,
but oh, Daisy,
we have a chyron that counters that.
Daisy's got a lot of excuses tonight.
We'll get to the, I think the last one is the most egregious one.
But can I point out a prediction that you made, I believe, on the last episode?
Oh, really?
I think there's going to be a clean sweep.
I agree with you now, Dylan.
Bravo's going to fire pretty much everybody on this boat.
You know, just to remind the audience how Bravo.
I hope Mads.
You know what? I'd like to see Chase again.
I like all of the underlings.
All of the underlings, I think, are great.
Oh, that's funny. Yeah, me too.
Lucky's great. Mads is great. Alex
is great. Chase is great. It's the three
department heads. We've got to find a guy for
Lucky, though.
You know, I don't get it. I don't understand
why the guys aren't hitting on Lucky. They have. uh said he wanted to drink some tequila on our big old
cities maybe it was his uh his brash forwardness that was a turnoff yeah you know lucky i i i think
lucky is just absolutely beautiful i do too and it would be a big deterrent to enter into a monogamous relationship with somebody who is as cursed
as she is just because of the heartbreak you know um but only love can break your heart
who's that uh i don't know imagine falling in love with lucky and the next thing you know a building fell on her you know because
she's not so lucky right the forces of the river sticks the forces of hades itself
they get impatient after a while she's evaded so many panes of glass so many ladders falling
don't forget that roller coaster the roller. Every plane she's ever gotten on is somehow miraculously landed
with very few casualties.
The next thing is just a fucking building collapses on her.
That's how they'll get her.
That's how they'll get her.
And you'll be in love with her.
Of course.
Heartbroken.
Bravo fires members of its cast for a few reasons.
You're boring.
You're incompetent.
The audience hates you.
Daisy, you and Gary are one and a half of those yeah just to let you know yep you said that's so sassy i love it
let's get to the next day next day alex and mads are doing well the sexual tension is racketing up
um they're calling each other ugly sacks of shit and whatnot so we're all good i think these two are gonna make love pretty soon good um glenn heads out and it to the guests and pitches the viva la france dinner now this is some
dicaprio beyonce sinatra yachting shit okay fuck it it's tuesday let's take you to eat dinner in
a different country now this is what i'm talking about. Yep, yep, yep. I loved it. It's not, this isn't some fucking picnic
on a beach
with fucking hypodermic needles on it
with like dogs
that don't belong to anybody
trying to bite you.
Yeah, yeah.
Imagine that you pitch to Leo,
you're like,
listen,
we could get all choked up
about Bonifacio,
but I could also take you
to a beach
where there's a bunch of strays.
You mean like young girls? Is that code?
No, no, no, no, no. I mean
fucking rabid dogs.
Little ones, too.
Little
fucking mean ones. What do you want to do?
Fuck it. I've had it all. Let's try something new.
Exactly.
I've heard that Leo DiCaprio
just puts headphones on and listens to like thrash metal
while he's having sex with people.
Oh boy.
I mean, what's going to get you off at that point?
I mean,
I would hope a rotation of
the most beautiful girls on planet Earth,
but perhaps he is dead inside
god damn can you imagine everything gets boring eventually i know i know i know
he's such a talented actor imagine dicaprio explaining that though to uh some poor
slub from like like Idaho who's only
like four girls been married for 30 years I just get bored man yeah he's like uh you know um
um Rock Hudson once said show me a beautiful girl I'll show you a guy who's tired of fucking her. It's like your wife. She's disgusting to me, but I think I would.
I think I'd give it a go just because I'm so
and the guys like all right. Can can we get you anything else?
Love you and Wolf Wall Street man
Sarah. This is a baskin robins.
You know, I'm excited to see that goddamn uh what happened at wish claw talisman bone murder thing with him and scorsese that's going to be
great when's that coming out christmas probably that seems like a good christmas flick yeah but
it's based on a non-fiction book supposed to be fantastic anyways let's move on we had to do a little breakfast and while daisy
texts her drunk sister the guests begin to grab their own plates glenn sees it walks by and says
that is not cool i do not like that um i am completely fine with this the guests are very
um concerned about hindering the sea rats. They treat them
like sex slaves, but they are quite courteous. Here's what I think Glenn had an issue with,
is it's not about the guests doing that because they could just make a decision at any moment.
And the problem is, is you needed to be there and look like you're falling over yourself to
help them do such acts. act yeah and also if it's
going to be hot out let's take measures against them being too hot to eat in places i think glenn
said that uh daisy's no longer practicing and used a football oh yeah he said that he only
wants star athletes aboard parsnips star athletes keep practicing and it's like
keep practicing.
And it's like...
Glenn, you're working with sea rats, man.
I don't know what the fuck you...
You don't have seven Kobe Bryants
aboard. Patrick Mahomes is not
in the industry. No.
If you had that kind of talent
and work ethic, you'd be
a millionaire.
So I think it's a little ridiculous for glenn to think that but anyways um what's the we get to breakfast it's blueberry muffins it's eggs it's frittata
i think alicia really excels at breakfast her breakfasts are beautiful oh yeah her breakfasts
are it is i've never seen breakfast served like that before.
It's stunning.
I would.
I'm not a big breakfast guy, but I would really.
Nothing makes you feel like you're on vacation more than waking up to a really nice breakfast
in a different place.
When my wife and I stayed in Bangkok, we stayed at a really nice hotel.
And every morning, it was full.
Let's sing it.
It's time for a personal story.
From Patty.
Not really.
Just we were there for three days
and every morning
that was our favorite part of the vacation
as we recollect our memories
is sitting down at breakfast,
looking over a river
and having a beautiful display
of fresh fruits and eggs.
American breakfast, huh? Yeah. It was a tourist hotel for Americans. Yeah. river and having a beautiful display of fresh fruits and eggs yeah american breakfast huh
yeah this was a tourist hotel for americans yeah do you have any of bangkok's finest no
i tried one kind of street food it like was filled with oil and grease and i was like never again
going back to the hotel ordered a pizza all right let me ask you a question we're walking down the streets of bangkok and they've got fresh
peking duck hung but a while back you saw some ducks in cages and you're like this is you know
there's a wetness to this market would you eat eat it? No. Well, the only answer is,
of course, you have to eat it. That's fresh, fresh Peking duck. You can't get that anywhere
else in the world, Patrick. My God. I'm a filthy yucky normie. I went to McDonald's twice while I
was there. Well, you got to go to McDonald's. I feel like if you're in a really exotic land,
go to a fast food just to see if you're there for long enough.
You know, day six out of seven, go check out what McDonald's has
so you can really pass it while you're at the airport.
Shit out the ube pie that we don't have in America.
Want to talk about sailing?
Yeah.
Okay.
Somebody's in here.
Sorry.
And it's just like,
you're just like,
I just want to be done.
The good news is I'll never see these people again.
Guy walks in after you and you're like,
Jesus fucking Christ.
Yeah. Put a bomb off. Oh, well off oh well yeah someone better be dead have you pooped on a plane in a while never i don't think i i haven't pooped on a plane since i was a child i won't
eat the day before i get on a plane because i don't want that ever to be a threat
yeah horrifying definitely you think you get that i know it says occupied is someone in there
because it's that door hasn't opened in a while yeah yeah yeah i'm fucking in here well we yeah
no we we did it and then the that's like what it sounds like you're in there oh right yeah yeah
what uh you want to go back to sailing do you want to talk about the show yeah yeah all right
because we get quite a heel here dare i say same shit different day bottles uh russell on the floor drawers are open pans wobble
hey bravo here's the deal if you're gonna uh you know keep filming these uh sailing sequences
a knife has to go through a guy's head it just has to happen someone has to have a
their head with a knife if you're going to not put child locks on every cabinet because it's sailing vessel somebody's gotta have a knife through their
head i gotta see it um now people have been saying that glenn has been micromanaging um some people
agree with that some people disagree with that well obviously we don't have a captain sandy like micromanaging here but i do see it when mads opens the bottle of champagne before we go on that 60
degree uh heel turn um and it explodes it pops off and uh glenn runs out, very concerned, and says, you know, that's why you don't put your face in front or over the bottle.
And it's like, Glenn, not only is that a five and up piece of information these are sea rats i mean how many bottles of fucking liquor
and wine have these people opened before i mean she knows not to put her face in front of the
cork just go back to daydreaming about red red red red red red blood so we head into port bonifacio um the stakes are very very high but glenn backs the boat the entire way
the sun is setting it's glistening the city it like we mentioned is just a beautiful beautiful
scene it is beautiful and you know it's even more beautiful the fact that uh gary and daisy get to
go on a date yeah because that's exactly what this was.
You know what?
I'm on a spectrum with these two,
and specifically Daisy.
Gary's a pig and a sex addict,
but Daisy pretends to be...
Normal, and she is not.
But not just normal.
Somebody who doesn't sleep with just anybody.
Someone who is a relationship kind of person
and it's like somebody who cares about colin and i'm like you know everybody's protective over
colin because colin's the sea dog he's the gossipy bitch he's the person that we all love
so don't fuck with colin daisy that is mutually assured destruction because you're gonna turn
colin into a mopey little mope. And nobody wants that.
That's the worst version of Colin.
A mopey little mope.
Mopey mopeys.
I will say this.
She does something here that conflicts with a statement made by Colin in a previous episode.
When she talks to Gary, who she's definitely on a date with today,
that she's not in a relationship.
Colin, the last episode said, we're in a relationship.
So they're not on the same page.
Nope.
Nope.
She's,
it's a dissent.
It's a dissent.
So,
we move on
to another part of the episode
wherein
Lucky and the girls decorate.
Lucky says that she hates flags and shit
gary and daisy while waiting for the guests to shop um i have a conversation about how
gary is making things really complicated and daisy's just and i know that you know we covered
this and we should move on to the sushi dinner
where the wasabi's on his nipples.
But Daisy is so contradictory
throughout the past couple of episodes
where she tells Colin,
I shouldn't even say contradictory.
I think she's a fucking liar.
Yeah, I think she's a goddamn fucking liar
where she's telling Colin,
you're both in my head because, you know,
and she's just, she uses these excuses to get out of things,
but you can see that they're hollow.
I think she's having the time of her life at this point.
Yeah.
We're not having the time of our lives watching it,
but she's having the time of her life.
Yeah.
Who doesn't want to be pursued by two suitors, you know?
Yeah.
But she should be torn actually, or she should feel really guilty or the
emotion.
She should be feeling and yet she just looks like she's having the time, you
know, who didn't want to be pursued by two suitors.
Go ball and chain in the Odyssey.
She was like get these guys out of here.
I'm fucking sick and tired of they're all trying to fuck me.
He's like honey.
I've been through a lot.
All right, so we get to the sushi dinner gary's got a shower before they put sushi on him that's not enough you got to shave down
and then still put a fucking banana leaf on you and then you need to go through some kind of uv
like yeah burn off like it's just not enough the guests do not like this at all you don't think so no
not at all the the guy asks um can we have a non can i get a non gary flavored wasabi and and
if this happened if we're aboard our our vacation aboard below decks you and i are taking the wives
we're taking the wives get this out wives. Get this out of here.
Get this out of here.
You know, we're Gary.
Get them out of here.
We're defecating on the floor.
We're throwing shit against the wall because we're not happy.
And then this rolls out.
I mean, we're not tipping anybody.
They've really put in that envelope.
Yeah, I wasabi.
Yeah, I knew it was going to be wasabi.
Oh, also, let's talk about that wasabi. Yeah, I knew it was going to be wasabi. Also, let's talk about that wasabi.
Burn dark matcha green and paste like it was absolutely disgusting.
Tubed fucking factory farmed wasabi.
Gross.
So we also had some sea bass with carrot and ginger sauce.
Meanwhile, you know meanwhile death knocks a wine
glass out of lucky's hand and i think that gary asks mads if she loves him this guy's out of his
mind but we have to get to the next day more chiron text to body we get it it'll be fun
she's a drunk daisy asks if she can stay on the boat a day before she arrives. This is this entitlement with Daisy where I'm like,
Daisy, you know your sister's coming aboard.
Don't just go up to Glenn a day before.
And it's this thing where she's like,
she assumes that it is going to be okay.
Do you get what I'm picking up and putting down?
It was more of a statement as opposed to a request.
Thank you.
That's a great way to say it.
That's a great way to say it.
She's the main cast member. Three seasons. Right right is this where the guy headbutts the glass yep
this is where uh poor tim just walks into a glass door really sad i've had it happen
pretty embarrassing it's happened to all of us
what's worse walking into a glass door?
No, I'm not going to finish.
You want to know a sad story about a glass door?
Yeah.
This woman I knew, she loved birds and hummingbirds.
So she made this like little area, which was almost like a sanctuary for birds.
The problem is she made the glass too clear.
And on two occasions, I was there where little hummingbirds just snapped their little beak and fell to their death yeah
so what she had created as a type of memorial to her love of birds was actually a death trap
yep yep yep yep it's like uh
you know and i don't know what a sanctuary for mosquitoes looks like
but uh You know, and I don't know what a sanctuary for mosquitoes looks like.
Perhaps you put like a kind of music in front of a buzzer,
but that person's not actually real. It's just the buzzer and the mosquitoes fly into it
and they die, but they think they're going to be
all happy first.
Should we cut that? Oh, yeah.
Damn, you get what I'm saying
though.
They
all right. So we get to poor Tim bleeding on the couch bleeding.
He's bleeding.
He's bleeding 15 minutes.
If this was Lee's boat, Daisy would be ass up headed to the fucking airport
because this has happened numerous times just on this episode.
airport because this has happened numerous times just on this episode.
But Daisy has she doesn't have an excuse for it until we get to the tip meeting, but let's get to the tip meeting right now.
Okay, we chat about the head butting of the door.
Glenn says completely unacceptable and he's 100% right.
The man is sitting there bleeding for a quarter of an hour.
Think about that.
And Daisy says, you know, I can't hear all the time. Sometimes it doesn't get through walls.
And it's like, Daisy, why don't you just shut the fuck up and say, yeah, I'm really sorry about that. It doesn doesn't get through walls you were in the galley
with your earpiece out eating leftovers that the guests weren't done with talking about your sister
talking about your sister and how she's a fucking drinker goddamn ridiculous you see rats the standard
god damn the standard is really dropping but I think we're enjoying the show.
I'm having fun.
We're past the midpoint,
right?
Oh yeah.
Okay.
This is the final lap.
So is this when basically Glenn tells her she's dropping the ball and the
cliffhanger is he's basically telling Daisy that she's making excuses at this
point,
but we know he won't fire her.
No,
that's up to Bravo to do.
And Bravo will do
it until then jump in the attitudes raise your views join us on patreon vanderpump all that
stuff uncensored episodes i'm don't say goodbye pat say goodbye later dudes Thank you.