Another Below Deck Podcast - The Best Captain We've Ever Had | Below Deck S11 E11

Episode Date: April 16, 2024

Pat and Dylan are back to break down arepas with mayo, fish, super tasters, gay night, watching people bang, Ben being Ben, the majesty of Captain Kerry.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcast

These people are great so far. When the drinks start flowing, we start hoeing. I mean, that's fun. That's a lot of fun. And then we get to lunch. Frazier says, what is the theme? And Anthony says, Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu yuuuu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu yu Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast. Sorry, Mike adjustment. My name is Dylan. I'm settled up next to one Patrick Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Granted. What's up, baby?ickey. Permission to come aboard. Granted.

What's up, baby? Not much, just happy to be potty. Happy to be here, happy to be goofing, gabbing, and what have you about this new episode of Below Deck. Want me to kill some time, take that gummy? Thought I was going to say more, but then brain shut down, didn't say more. Pat. What's up? Oh

Not much should I get some housekeeping? Yeah, I wasn't really asking you about your life I was trying to get you to do PSA's. Okay. All right. So exciting news. We are going to be covering the valley on Bravo That's the little spinoff from Vanderpump rules Turns out it's actually a very entertaining reality television show Yeah, we already cover Vanderpump rules if you're listening to this on the bad TV feed rules. Turns out it's actually a very entertaining reality television show. We already cover Vanderpump rules. If you're listening to this on the Bad TV feed, you clearly know that.

If you're on another Below Deck podcast feed and you're new here, we have a second feed called Bad TV where we cover, you can find the Below Deck episode here. We also cover Vanderpump rules there. And if you want to hear the Valley recaps, you can head over to patreon.com slash another podcast network and give us five bucks and we'll entertain you. We also give you one other show a week called another podcast show where Dylan

and I just talk about whatever the hell we want to talk about. And it's super funny. It's our favorite show to do. Great job. We're also going to be sprinkling in some summer house behind the paywall. So go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. Pat, what a show we have this evening. Absolutely. But before we talk about this episode, I need to do some housekeeping of my very own. Oh, well. Jill Zarin. Jill Zarin was not on this episode. Okay. As everyone knows that, that listened to

our last episode, a couple episodes with when she was on it. I can't stand Jill Zarin. Jill Zarin. Neither can I. I just love a Yenta and I'm used to them. But I want to address something because she is such a phony. So there are three podcasts that are my go-tos as a podcast, as far as what I listen to. Dan Carlin's Hardcore History. You know, I tried listening to that. I get bored. I start drifting off. I can't pay it.

I can't keep my attention. But no, there are 17 hours on the Vikings. It's all I got. I can't even believe. Where did he get this information? It sounds like he's just telling stories, like fairy tales. All right, Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade, an amazing podcast.

Reality Life with Kay Casey, love it. She talks about all the documentaries that I love. And Heather MacDonald, Juicy Scoop. And Heather MacDonald is a comedian, also an heiress to the McDonald's. No, no connection, nope. But she is a comedian and she's got a great podcast. No connection.

To the cheeseburgers? No, there is another Heather McDonald that is like a conservative like think piece writer that sometimes gets mixed up with Heather McDonald. Does she have anything to do with McDonald's? No, not at all. She used to work for Chelsea Handler. Interesting.

That's where I found Heather and I love her. But Heather, please stop having Jill Zarin on. I listen to you religiously, but whenever you have Jill Zarin on, I skip that episode because she's a horrible person and she's a self-promoting idiot. So Heather had Jill on with Barbie. Hey, don't hold back. Okay. I'm not holding back.

Heather's Jill's friend. So of course she was doing this as a favor. It was kind of like laid out that it was an interview about her experience on Below Deck, but it was absolutely damage control. Jill, you did more fucking, so much spinning, I thought your head was gonna fall off. You were a liar.

Like Emily Rose. Exactly. If you came on this podcast and you tried to spin that same bullshit you did on Heather's show, you would not get away with it. Yeah, because I'd have to uncomfortably call her out on it while you seething hatred and didn't say anything. No, I'd call her out on this because this is punching up. All right. Well, actually I'm not gonna use the word punching. It's a female. Forgive me. All right, micro question.

Yeah, what are you fucking talking about? Okay, okay. She said- Who's a famous puncher? Ike? Mike Johnson, Mike Tyson. No, no, no. She said- Who's a famous puncher? Ike? Mike Johnson, Mike Tyson. No, no, no. Well, I mean of women. Oh gosh, punching women?

Oh my God. Who is the guy that, he was like a famous singer and he like used to do crack and stuff and he peed on paper. Oh, that could be Ike Turner. Oh no, that's Chuck Berry. Chuck Berry, yeah, famous for- You know, I saw Ike Turner about six months before he died

he was with a younger man and he was at crazy girls strip club and He had like a roll of one dollar bills like probably like a hundred dollars Yeah, yeah, well, he just kept he kept him out in his hand He just kept like running his finger across and making that yeah oddly satisfying and I went up to him I said, hey, what's that about? He goes you just let him see it Okay. Thank you for not doing an impression of him. Yeah Anyway, I'm glad Jill is out of our lives But a couple here's the lies that she told on Heather McDonald's juicy scoop

She said the buzzer thing was just a joke and people know her that she was just joking about that that had no meaning No, it wasn't a joke. She said that she mentioned issues to the crew so many times. The reason being, she wanted to help the service for the next people that would be getting on the vessel. And she also wrote out a list of other issues that we didn't see on the show and she emailed Frazier and he never got back to her and she blames Frazier for it being such a horrible experience. Oh wow. Wow. Okay. Quite an axe to grind. Also Jill admitted and we finally got a number for the eight people that came on that boat for two days. And by the way, go over and listen to Heather. I'm promoting this for you. Just know that if you can't stand Jill,

you're going to be punching your steering wheel as you listen. It was $5,000 a person total for the two days and she said she kept complaining like it was just I paid $5,000 for five meals. No, you paid $5,000 which is $2,500 a day started to bark at pores. That's why you did it. And that's why you did it and you got like waited on hand and foot for two days. Shut up. Yeah. That's it. You okay?

Yeah, sorry I had to do that. No, no, no, it's okay. And you know, many people would ask the question, did you have to? But I think that they would be, you know, not acting in good faith because I think that you did have to do that. Thank you.

I feel very supportive. Kind of ghastly phantom imagery of Jill's Aaron still, you know, clings to the show. Um, she's very loud despite her kind of mousey countenance and Oh, yeah. I want to add something else. Okay. So Barbie is a new, new friend of the show. Uh, but Barbie, I hate to add something else. OK, so Barbie is a new new friend of the show. But Barbie, I hate to say this. I really like you. I think Jill used you.

She had you come on that podcast to basically cosign on her fucking bullshit. And you were completely respectful and nice about it. But just know, in my opinion, it was a used job. Yeah, she brought you along like the Nova she picks up at Zabars, you know. Nobody wants to be smoked salmon. We were better than that, you know, I'm ready to move on so this episode really Exemplified the majesty the Responsibility and the professionalism

of one Captain Carey. I mean this man was, he was just a dancing leadership all over the place. I mean just a ballerina of leadership, this guy. I mean, he's- Frazier keeps going in there trying to get people fired and Captain Carrie won't have it. Yeah, he goes, uh, well, thank you. Let me, uh, thank you passionately. I'm going to bail. I'm going to bail. You're going to bail on that?

I'm going to bail. Yeah, yeah. No, Captain Carrie is so amazing that I'm confused by it very often just because I've seen utter incompetence by other captains Yeah, I know look we got some good ones, but none are as good as captain carry No, I mean think back to the captain that used to helm the show Salty I am a host, a podcast, called salty. Yeah. Well, maybe I'll have some friends on. And that, the latest episode was crazy.

He didn't have any friends on, but he did talk to his, his younger assistant, assistant slash producer Sam about the. I think I've got an interesting on my own. They broke down the whole end of the Potomac saga and the fight and Lee had a lot of hot takes on that. It was nuts because I was like, I do agree. I think that Candice is the common denominator of the two fights that have transpired on Potomac and he was so right about that.

Yeah he was. And at no point was I like why is this old fucking captain talking about this shit not at a single point in the podcast. So aside from that I mean chef Anthony I man I chef Anthony is a sweetie sweetie he's a sweetie. His wife was stolen by his family. A guy who taught him how to play baseball. Yep. And that's sad. And we've talked about it a lot. But I can't... I get very triggered by self-defeatism. It's like, come on. Come on. Step up. Smack yourself in the face, get it together. Yep.

Stop throwing chicken salad in broken a rapist and trying to pass it off as food. Right. That's not okay to do to people who are paying $5,000 a day. And I'm excited to get to Brandon, who came in like a Roman candle. Four pots. Four pots. Okay I enjoyed the episode. I am shocked at how entertaining this still is. Whatever the new producer that got brought on to add that new fun music in here and it they're doing a great job because this is episode 11 or 12. This is normally as I mentioned in the last recap is it's when you're winding down Yeah tonight because we had black cast members

They went into the royalty-free hip-hop library and they didn't search Macklemore. They searched Timbaland So we got a different flair tonight that was actually quite contributive towards the episode Sorry, you were speaking. Oh, no, no, no That's it. I enjoyed the episode. Sorry, you were speaking. Oh, no, no, no. That's it. I enjoyed the episode. I'm excited to talk about it. Why waste any more time?

Let's get into it. We last left off in the midst of the day off from how Frasier was done and we get to, oh, fucking general thoughts rewind real quick. Ben, I mean, continues to be just pole position, pole position of people. So let's discuss this. So first off, we pick up at the true blue resort. Yep. True blue. What a beautiful resort. Absolutely. Barbie's getting advice advice from her mother. Chef Anthony sees Barbie crying and he lets, uh, let's Frazier

know that she's crying and Frazier responds by saying, and I quote, should we send her a care package? Yeah, Frazier is one of those drunks where you can't see on the outside any of the kind of visual tells of drunkenness. He just gets a kind of a darkness that grows. Is he an angry drunk? Yeah, he's a little mean. I will say, I love that line though. It was very Kate Chastain. He's, yeah, he's a little mean. I will say I love that line though

It's very Kate Chastain. He's yeah, he's her understudy It was very mean cutting and kind of funny phrase is the closest thing to Kate Chastain We've had since Kate Chastain left this boat I agree and I think that's why he was chosen to take up that mantle and I believe he will be with us for quite Some time everyone needs a good cry to their mom every once in a while. If you're lucky enough to have that kind of relationship, this can really help. And Barbie's mom seems like a stand-up individual.

She is not the parent that contributed to her becoming a weapon of mass destruction the way that her father did. So the news that she is crying is relayed to Frasier and Vampira. Now, I think the kind of animosity towards her, it's no surprise that it comes from Frasier. You know, we're a couple of margaritas deep at this point and we're sun poisoned.

But Vampira, I was a little confused by. And then I was like, well, actually, thinking back on the last couple of episodes, Vampira does not like Barbie and also Vampira is a vampire and they're, they're surly characters, you know, they're, um, they're not the nicest people and one could argue, are they actually people? Well, you can Dylan, it's, you know, vampire, uh, at least they're not fake people, you know, because they got to drink

people's blood. So it's like, you know, they're gonna, you know, vampires have no time for Any feigned niceties or anything like that Are they to continue living eternally? They're going to need to consume blood a quick. Sorry story digression here I took my daughter out to sushi on Saturday. Oh, adventurous eater, the young Ellie. Well, we're trying to get her that way. And they do have desserts at sushi,

and it was this thing called mochi. And it's basically- It's mochi, it's a hard CH. Oh, is it mochi? Okay. Anyway, it shows up, it doesn't look like the picture on the menu, it's one of these places that has the pictures out there.

Always the tell of a good restaurant. My daughter tells me, I don't want this, and I want to speak with the waiter. Oh wow. And the waiter comes over she pulls out the fucking menu and she goes let me see the pictures and she points to another one and then we ordered it and the waiter said it's on us and I said no no no I insist on paying it. Yeah. We'll get the next thing and as the waiter walked away I was like I kind of thought, I know this sounds crazy, I was like, I'm creating Barbie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're creating a little monster and you know, you and I were talking about this incident over the weekend, what's even crazier is that Ellie asked her if she thought that her parents were proud of her. And when the waiter mulled it over, Ellie said, let me stop you there. They can't be. And that's insanely deep cutting for a four year old.

She's smart. She is very smart. But you have to curb that kind of intelligence and mold it into a force for good, Patrick. But we get to back channel Ben and Paris. He catcalls her while she is on her way out the door. And it it's like it's this

thing where I don't know if I'm trying to find a good comparison but you know it's like if somebody threw a cinder block through a window and you know somebody was like what are you doing and the person was like well I'm certainly not robbing this place are you accusing me of that right now they're all offended his crimes are so blatant so blatant okay so Ben's Ben lays a kiss on Paris's neck I want to point out that these are things that he's doing with a film crew. In plain sight of Sonny. Imagine what he's up to when you're dating him and he's out of town with the guys for a week.

Yeah, 100%. Sonny finds this disgusting, thank God. Well, I mean. It seems obvious to most, but she is a C-rat. When the guy you're having sex with walks in front of you and flirts with another girl, it's time to pull the ripcord. Yeah, and it makes me sad because Sunny

is a Quebecois warrior princess. So the fact that she's witnessing all of this is calling it disgusting and is still having sucked down sig talks with Ben. I don't understand why she's allotting so much leash. And important a storm when you're on a ship. Also in the moments of lust, you can be a gaslet. I think that is the term that's been used way too much, but yeah, no,

it's okay. We got to come up with a new term for gaslet. So lying. Ben sits down next to Paris at dinner. All right. Oh my God. He's making Paris uncomfortable at this point like it's actually You know the the sea there is no HR in sea raddom But were this happening at let's put them in a corporate environment like Spotify or something like that If you tried to do this in the Culver City offices of Spotify or something like that you would be fired now What he's doing is completely insane. Absolutely. Uh, and I want to point out,

I believe it's vampire that turns to Ben and says, uh, you need to fix this. Yeah. I know. Uh, two episodes back, vampire. You were arguing the case that if you're just friends with someone, you don't need to change your behavior at all. Good point. And he was doing the same thing to vampire. He can, he can say till the cows come home, oh, I'm just being friendly. You know, you've got nothing to worry about. But again, you're throwing a cinder block

through the storefront of a jeweler. We can see what you're doing, scumbag. Well, I was going to say, can we get to the toast heard around the world? This was, um, considered to be the worst toast Vampira has ever heard. I believe. I didn't think it was that bad. Well I have it. Why don't we there's shit going between me and Fraser.

There's a shit ton of drama going on, and Fraser, we have to figure this out, and I'm really sorry it has affected everybody. You're here, to a good night. I think that's the worst place I've ever had. Quite a risky move for this little frisky sea rat. Yeah. But it may have also been Machiavellian,

because putting him on notice in front of everybody, basically saying, we need to work this out, I think it played in her favor, quite honestly. She got him so, got Frazier so, Frazier so amped up, that he would immediately upon waking up the next morning, attempt to get her fired. Mm. Set a little snare for him, huh? Well, some listeners like why do you keep calling him Frazier? And I'm like, I'll tell you why you idiots from Australia

America had a television show For 15 years called Frazier. Kelsey G. You got it. So that's why it's stuck in our fucking head Okay, I try every time I can when I say his name to respect his pronunciation. No one is named Fraser here. Nobody is named Fraser. Not in America. So it's a little tricky for us. Just like nobody here has like,

we would have difficulty with like a Zhang We Weiling you know if somebody was named that you know we would struggle with it but we try and you know do our best right and and it's not because we have a latent hatred of posh whites or the Chinese it's just we're not used to it that's right you know give us time to step up and learn how to pronounce these things properly. Yeah, and you could say, like, you've had 12 episodes.

Isn't that good enough? And we'd say, you know. But American, I need like 100. Yeah, at least 100. I need 100. I need more time. So Ben and Paris are following each other. I've got no idea what's going. Oh,

okay. So this is when Ben kind of rolls out the bullshit where he I can't even tell you how annoyed I am with this guy. He's just he's a he's a little boy. He's a little little tiny boy. All right. just a fucking heathenistic scumbag Okay, so are we still at the dinner table where Sonny sees? The music it's basically see you're at musical chairs. It's duck duck douche I'm sorry to be so I'm really sorry to be so harsh on Ben. God forbid he's listening but the listen it would still be gross if he was doing what he was doing without all the hands up, why is everybody looking at me stuff? But because he's doing the Well, be the villain that you're playing.

Well, what's everybody? What's everybody having a cow about? Well, you're you're you're being a coxman right now in plain sight. And to be fair, when I was good looking, I was just as bad as you. Okay. And then he throws it on, he throws it on women. He eye rolls and goes, Oh, women, how dare women have a problem with you. Um, doing what you're doing. Yeah. Literally rubbing. Oh my gosh. I'm just thinking, but it's a, it was like a triggering image, like going back to the true blue resort and the hand On the knee like you've known her for

Four hours. Why are you putting your hand on her bare? Sex with her. Yeah, okay. So I believe meanwhile Frazier tells vampire That they're gonna be a down down a stew after tomorrow That they're gonna be down a down a stew after tomorrow Buddy, here's how patty would handle this put her on fucking laundry duty put her in the laundry dungeon She can't hurt anybody down there. Why fire her? well, that's exactly what he does after they mend things which was a bizarre move from Fraser, but We go off and chat with Ben and Sonny and And have a new word that I've learned, Dylan. What's up?

Darts. Paris is disinvited from having a ciggy. Australians call cigs darts. Oh, yeah. Am I unvoted to the darts? That was horrible, sorry. Yeah, no, no. That was good.

I understand Ben's position that they're not anything, because they're not, and they're C-Rets. So that makes them even less than nothing, right? But the sensible question that Sunny asks is, can you respect the fact that you are sleeping with me? And this is a thing that men have a difficulty with. When sex is a little bit more, generally speaking, I know that there are sex addicts, both men and women,

who treat it like just a quick hit of crack. But on the whole, women view it as a more meaningful thing than men do. Sometimes they can separate it. Yeah, sometimes. And the guys will be like, oh, those are the cool girls, you know? Yeah. But I think most cannot. I will say this to Ben's credit. He gets right out in front of this with Sonny when they go talk. He gets out in front of it.

He starts off by saying, hey, I just want to spend more time with you. You know, spend more time with you. And when we are spending time, do you mind holding the camera while I have sex with Paris? Ben reminds me of somebody who would be like a consigliere or an underling to Keith Rigneri. Like he would be in the like the commander level of a sex cult. He just needs to read by one more thing of books and then he moves up to the next level. Yeah. He gets to have sex with a couple people. Yeah and then he'd be people would be like hey I'm a little concerned

because I was struck last night by you and I was branded while we were having sex and he was like I'm sorry Are you not seeking something higher than yourself? Well did you think that this was going to be a Simple journey and then hugs her and says it's all gonna be okay And then you know fast forward four years, and we're in a federal investigation You know go what is it's two seasons still and what is that doc called don't know oh you watch that you knucklehead

Naxxiom Was called something else, but anyway just watch the word salads that he just spills out of his mouth referring to how does anybody fall? For this shit? So we head back to the boat Barbie and Sonny have a good cry with each other and we hit the hay with the Expectation from Barbie that she will be fired tomorrow and tomorrow comes all too soon Frazier is up and has to have a chat with captain I mean, it's literally take a piss brush your teeth go fire Barbie, you know, yeah Yeah, he wakes up with purpose

and I think he points out that Barbie has passed her sell-by date and Notes that in Sea Rat law in subordination is a fireable offense Carrie's response is rational. He says I understand. He's not seeing everything clearly but is rational he says I understand he's not seeing everything clearly but what's I gotta say here oh he points out the Sea Rats were out on a personal day I do like this distinction which is different from a workday and points out Frazier has said that Barbie is a hard worker and I think Frazier was watching this he's like yeah well I mean, Kerry sounds a little bit like the imagined construct of the trans-exclusionary radical

feminist, J.K. Rowling. He's a little Dumbledore in this moment. He says that strength isn't always acting on the power you have. And I mean, how right is that? I mean, all you have to do is take a look at somebody like, who's like a little like Hitler was a great example of that. Hey, Dale.

Yeah. I want to point out one other thing that referring to Gary's response of not firing Barbie. He said, hey, why don't we find a replacement first? Yeah. My god, what a smart idea. Yeah. Now, Kerry's a million percent right.

He literally does not put a syllable wrong. He says, you're putting your personal agenda over the boats. And we talked about this last week. We get where Frazier's coming from. Barbie is absolutely accurate. She's paying me ass. Yeah, especially that fucking joker smile. When you're a manager, you can't let this, of all things, get you to a place where you start swinging axes like this. You know, the stakes just aren't high enough. So Barbie and Sonny I Don't know what there is to break down here captain and Barbie. Yeah What's I was gonna say a meanwhile vampire and perispond over the Zen of ironing clothes?

Yeah, and to keep the cult talk going on like that made quite the cult You know, what do you do if you're in that cult? Well, we iron clothes and then we have sex with everyone. Yeah, it's always sex. It's no fun being in a cult and especially a leader if I don't get to sleep with your wife, her sister, and your grandmother. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Nobody said that this wasn't going to come with challenges,

but challenges are the solution that purifies us. We cannot go into the kingdom of heaven unless I have sex with your daughter. You know? Yeah. And by the way, keep that iron going. So Captain and Barbie head out for a chat. I mean, I don't know what else we can say.

The dude's just incredible. They start over and Barbie says that she'll try not to be a bitch to Frazier. Now Ben goes back to choosing lead deckhand. Yeah, what's up? Well, I was just going to say, just one last note on Carrie meeting with Barbie. He says her conflict resolution lately has been a little terrifying with that Joker grin and all.

And he asked her to not do it ever again, because it's giving children nightmares. He says, God forbid there was any, any kids are born. I'm going to bail. I'm going to bail. Oh, that's okay. Then he urges Frazier and Barbie to chat and they do chat. And it's like, like three minutes of talking and because they're sober, it goes pretty well.

Yeah. And they're once again again they're one big happy family. So Ben goes back to choosing this lead deckhand conundrum. If he chooses Sonny it'll be a problem because they're sleeping together. If he chooses Dylan then Sonny will be frustrated at not getting the opportunity to prove herself. You aptly pointed this out last week in our recap of the last episode. His deliberation has definitely made difficult seeing as one of the candidates was sitting on his face the day before. So he's between a cock and a hard place. Yeah. I'm bailing on that. Well you can't bail when you've stuck the

landing. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe your legs are, but I mean you two feet hit the floor, right? But it's funny because You know people often talk about cocks getting hard and stuff like that, right? What are you doing on Instagram? Well, we were supposed to have an interview with the charter guest Carmen Queen Carmen Yeah, but I'm okay. It would have been very uncomfortable. Yeah, they didn't do anything that bad here. They forced underlings to refer to them through monarchical titles, which is psychotic, but maybe we'll talk to them next week. Okay. So we have to get to a preference sheet meeting and we're going to yell preference sheet meeting. And if the music's not there, the music's's not there I don't know what to tell you

well try and put it there the listeners love it it's time for the preference sheet meeting so we've got Carmen and King Ray Queen Carmen and King Ray we've got Brandon who is gay and picky and they're also going to be wanting a movie premiere night with a red carpet This is when we get to the sea like you know the there wasn't a lot there with the preference sheet meaning So is you know just remind the audience Carmen and Brandon were on down under that That vessel that Japanese it was a converted Japanese fishing

Yeah, I mean whales and and other kind of well that's what the dining hall had been renovated where they used to hung hang the whales yeah that was it was a vessel of oceanic mammalian slaughter and horror and then they welcomed high paying guests aboard and it still smelled of. Fucking Shamu, he like he's in the room. Just you know, the kind of sad seeping of lipids and blood and high paying guests were welcome to board. This takes great. I think I hear Shamu. So Anthony is talking about how he's constantly failing.

He feels inside that he's not good enough. Anthony, again, we've got to stop with this stuff. I mean, we're adults here, you know, uh, much like the cult that we've been referring to. I mean, it's not easy to cleanse yourself. And one thing you can't do is subject yourself to, you know, pouting, right? Because, um, you know, you get branded, you get your wife stolen, these are nothing to, these aren't things to, to, to, to pad about, you know, they're things to work through. Right. I agree with you. And once again, once your uncle-

It's nothing hotter, nothing not hotter than a dude that his self-esteem is in the gutter. Yeah. No chick ever said, ah, that's turning me on. Right. He's wallowing in shame and sadness and failure. Yeah, again. I want to fuck that guy. It's confusing because once your uncle has stolen your wife,

you can really take over anything. So we search for bacon substitutes and provisions arrive. We smell scentless flowers and check out a new set of uniforms. I want to talk about these for a second. Dylan, you were not born in the 80s. There was a fashion moment in in summer wear called jams. Jams looked like a gumball machine threw up on a

pair of white shorts. They were ugly, disgusting. They made that Christian agilier or Eddie, what was that thing in the 2000s? It was horrible. Just an abomination of fashion. Old Patty Warm from 1987 to 1989. It's an embarrassment. I apologize. They look like that. I don't get the cultural reference but I'm sure a lot of the audience that was alive back then are really loving it. They're like so happy right now. Ben goes up to Cap, tells him that he's going to upgrade sunny to lead. The thing that he leaves out is that he's banging sunny. Right. I don't think he needed to share that though. Yep. So I was blown away. I don't know how you fold a towel into a goose but my god somehow Paris did it. I like

it. It's so much better than a bed decor that looks like cock. Yep. The golden deck brush gets handed to Sonny. And Dylan is confused. He says that he has a dick, but that he's not going to be a dick, and that it's not April 1st. And Dylan continues to behave like he's in the Insane Asylum featured in one flu of the cuckoo's nest, but he's got a great attitude. Or does he? You know, I was like, this is, you know, a comparatively speaking, Dylan and Kyle handled this so well at this moment

because we've seen in seasons past when this happened with Malia, Bobby and Wes at Bobby and Wes acted like two. I don't even want to refer to them as children. I think we get outside of the human category and just refer to them as like, I don't know, hellspawn or something. You're referring to Bobby Bottleservice from season two of Mediterranean. Yeah, so more on Dylan later. He is going to rear his head and begin talking to really anybody within arm's length about how pissed he is of this situation or about this situation. But first the king and queen arrive. Frazier

calls it an insult to the monarchy and that would be true if the monarchy weren't a bunch of you know. Red headed bad fucking white tooth looking people like this is the best we got. These are some of the ugliest people I've ever seen in my life yeah and Queen Elizabeth is a powerful woman but everybody else are a bunch of you know they're sadistic lizard they look like the fucking cover of Mad Magazine who is that goofy redheaded kid the goofy redheaded kid okay yeah they look like him so Dylan in his bed hair they lose their hair at like 30 yeah Yeah, who loses your hair at 30? Well, lots of people

So Dylan is in his bedroom talking to himself in a Jack Nicholson kind of way and Says that he's cool. I don't think he is I think that he's blowing a gasket right now No, he's talking to himself and he's like punching himself in the face. He's calling foul to the lead deckhand promotion. He thinks she got it because she sat on Ben's face. So your majesty's we undock and these people are great so far. When the drinks start flowing, we start ho and I mean, that's fun. That's a lot of fun. And then we get to lunch.

Frazier says, what is the theme? And Anthony says, what is the theme and Anthony says Mexico? Yeah, so a lot of conviction there from him. Unfortunately, we're going to be serving fish tacos, which super taster Tiffany Marie Frost does not like. There is a grenade in weight. When he serves the fish tacos, she mentions that she put on her preference sheet

that she hates fish, and the only other thing that she really hates is vegetables. So the next thing up is of course going to be salad from Anthony. I mean, he needs to get fired. I do want to say this. What does Tiffany eat?

Her diet seems more restrictive than mine. I only eat turkey sandwiches and impossible burgers, right? In white claw and white wine. Right. Vegetable seems like it clears a what? 80% of possibilities? Yeah, I mean, potatoes are out. She said vegetables. I mean, any vegetables? Yeah, potatoes are out. Let's see. What else? Salary? That's a vegetable, man. Yeah, that's a she's I think and I think she she can only eat a dead animal. Yeah, yeah. Or a lot or a living one. I mean, she didn't say anything about the meat having to be dead. She could eat an avocado because that's technically a fruit.

That's a fruit. Yeah. Okay. She'd have chocolate. Couldn't have a carrot though. No, it's a vegetable. Yeah. I can't think of anything else, but that throat fart really distracted me. I do want to point out this still. Yeah. Fraser had had another conversation with Carrie, which I think we skipped over in which he asked Carrie to observe. Right.

And yeah, Carrie's floating this episode. Yes, he's, he's going to be floating and observing, which definitely doesn't mean micromanaging. So we twerk, we jet ski, and we pick up brand, and we get to another meanwhile. Fraser pops Barbie into laundry, a very confusing bygones demotion. And then the Sea Rats watch the primaries bang. With the blinds open.

Yeah, it's like, oh, these people must be voyeurs. No. Maybe they just left the windows open. They just left the windows open and didn't expect for a bunch of sea rats to be gnawing in enjoyment, watching them slam away at one another. Right. I think Kyle says that all he could see

was a fat ass getting smashed. And let's get to dinner, Dill. says that all he could see was a fat ass getting smashed. And, um. Let's get to dinner, Dill. Yeah. Frazier notes the charter guests are basic with palates of a six-year-old. And he thinks serving ceviche is a dumb idea. Oh, really quickly.

We have a Judas. You know, the Apostle Judas. That's right, yeah. We have a Apostle you know, the apostle Judas. We have a apostle Judas moment from Barbie. Barbie, Barbie, Barbie. Dylan begins complaining to Barbie about how he wasn't picked. This is shocking. So she definitely thinks that her roommate, who she has been there for.

Literally cried in her arms the other night. Got the job because of her quote unquote assets. Barbie. I mean, this is mud creature shit. I mean, you cannot. Not even a sea rat at this point. You're kind of making your way on the land, but you're living in mud.

Yeah. It's like a, it's like a, like kind of a, kind of like a crude ancestor of the prehistoric era. Yeah, yeah. Like one of those, like an anthropod or some shit. Yeah.

Yeah. Kind of like a monk fish. Not good. What you think of that ceviche though? Ceviche was tuna and um, it was according to the king and queen of the charter disgusting. Stephanie super taster, Tiffany gets Mac and cheese and we get to I think 35 to 40 minutes down the pike and a chicken arepa arrives. They drum roll hate it. So this is the around

the world theme. Frazier didn't ask what the theme was tonight, but it was around the world. We've got tuna ceviche and I know I guess it's it's it's Latin, but we get ceviche and then arepas are up next. This man is French, he's underwater, and he's deciding to make arepas. You can't. They refer to it as chicken salad in an unrized biscuit. It's just, I mean there's so much mayonnaise. I don't think there's an arepa on planet earth that has this much mayonnaise in it. I could be wrong. Fortunately for Chef Anthony here though, Dill. Brandon at the table, because he's arrived, you know? He's being a sassy little gay and drama flows through their bodies.

Like, I don't know, it just flows, you know? Like blood? Yeah, like blood. And Ray and him have a disagreement and apparently Ray walked out on Brandon's drag show or something. Yeah. I think Brandon's accusing Ray of hating gays. Yeah. And some could accuse you of that same thing

when you said sass kind of flows through the homosexual like blood. But I know your heart, and I know that you didn't mean it like that. No, no. I'm just like Ray. I'm misunderstood. No, no, it's I'm just like Ray. I'm misunderstood. Yeah, a hundred percent and Ray

Walked into a drag night and said I didn't know it was gonna be gay now Brandon has every right to Be let's try to be sensitive about this okay you know what I'll just go I'll just go ahead and say it I'm expecting a black guy with grills to be completely unflappably fine with a surprise drag show night is like asking a daughter of the Confederacy to be cool with her grandchild being trans. It's just going to take a little bit of adjustment.

Yeah, Brandon, I don't want to tell you how you do do your business. But I just say maybe before we say he's a homophobic, maybe he may just be needs a little more time. He might just be homophobic. And if that is the case, maybe let's try to gradiently improve him and not throw a hissy fit. Maybe just use your head a little bit. Not my idea of a vacation by the way. No, God no.

Hey, Dale, can we get to the Mufongo? Yeah, let's get to the Mufongo. Okay, cause I have to say this. You know I am a moron. One of my favorite shows is Triple D. Watching Guy Fieri learn what Mufongo was. Yeah. I think it was probably the sixth season, probably like 2010. Yeah. It was magical. Yeah. Yeah. Watch that episode, Mufongo. Yeah, he was like, my sister Morgan would love this. Yeah, he said that. Yeah. And Mufongo is smashed up plantain with usually some kind of pork inside. And again.

Why are we making Mufongo? I mean, maybe, you know how to make it, but it's a difficult thing to pull off. It's a bit of a microaggression because people in Cuba and the Dominican like it. People on the tip of southern part of Florida, they also love it, but that would be the Cuban population. Yeah, yeah.

So, yeah, I mean, just a grand slam performance from Anthony, he's completely losing it. He has no hands. The walls are talking. Yeah, he has no hands. Even his uncle's talking to him now and he's not even dead. He's fucking his wife.

Well, his uncle always talks to him. So we get to Paris talking to back channel Ben about Dylan back channeling. And Paris handled Dylan's back channeling perfectly. She was like, go fucking hug the banana down there or something. I don't know why you're talking to me And I want to thank the editors for giving back channel Ben the bad edit that he deserves We're referring to how much he's engaged in the same type of activity that he is Having an issue, right? Which is he's at back channel Ben yep so Brandon

continues to be pissed off I'm not really sure what happened that night and and I apologize for the the the stereotypical language that we used but you know we you can only piece together what likely transpired you know we don't know these people's hearts, their minds, or their hearts, but Ben talks to Dylan. He says, I'm gonna tell you in the morning, I'm gonna talk to you in the morning about what you said tonight.

Now that is something that I would obviously expect from back channel Ben. He is wielding a minuscule hamster droplet amount of power to try and punish Dylan for trafficking in the behavior that Ben loves to traffic in. This is clearly pointed to make Dylan sweat, lose sleep. I cannot fucking stand Ben. Yeah, I also think Dylan's trying to find a storyline. I love you kid, you're a golden retriever on ecstasy.

Who doesn't like that kind of dog, you know, but. I mean, I would imagine golden retrievers on ecstasy are kind of seizing on the ground. And I don't think that anybody would like or dislike that dog it would just be like that thing needs help. I think you're right. So Brandon continues to flip out while Anthony continues to flip out and we call curtains on this episode. Get in the iTunes ratings and reviews leave five

stars kind words join us patreon.com slash aka nope sorry I'm plugging too many different Patreons these days patreon.com Slash another podcast network Plug your live show dude this weekend at the Brea improv April 19th and 20th If you'd like to see me come perform stand-up Comedy go to the improv website for tickets Until next week. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye.

Later dudes. Love