Another Below Deck Podcast - The Birds Can't Reach Us Here | RHOC S19 E11

Episode Date: September 14, 2025

Dylan, Pat and RUBY are BACK to break down Dubrow's heights, Temecula, Katie not being on the show, the Luke line, meth and more from Bravo's RHOC.PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

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Ontario. You know, I don't want to sound like classist or people like, you know, Temecula's gross, but if you've not been to the kind of outerlaying areas in California that surround beautiful areas, right? So we're talking about mammoth. We're talking about, I mean, Big Bear's gross, but it's beautiful. But San Bernardino is the thing that surrounds it. That's at the bottom of the hill. That's where you stop by to get your meth before you go up right. Exactly. So if you stop by, if you stop anywhere in San Bernardino, know, you will feel the air will tell you you're in trouble, right? There's something really horrifying. You were painting a picture with words. Yeah. Last time we went to Big Bear at the

basin of the hill at a gas station. I think I saw a zombie eating his own arm off. Yeah. Yeah. You did. No. It's a real spooky spot. Hi. Hello. And welcome to another brand spanking new episode of Bad Television. I'm Pat. That's Dylan. And we are joined by Kim Jong-un.

How are you, Ruby? Welcome to our recap of Below Deck. I am very good. Thank you very much. And can you move the microphone? It's covering Pat like he's in a... Oh, that one, the third, the third one. Kay, can you move the, but thanks, Kay, I appreciate it.

We are here to break down the real housewives of, ah, there's a fly in here. We're here to break down the real housewives of Orange County. Jump in the comments and let us know this is going to sound like a gross thing to say, but I accused Ruby of looking like Kim Jong-un, but also a day laborer because she's drinking 7-Eleven coffee. Is 7-Eleven coffee good? Yeah.

Do you get 7-Eleven coffee? Occasionally? It's better than waiting in line for 30 minutes. Starbucks. Well, Starbucks is. You know what 7-Eleven has never been burnt? And can I tell you something? I go to Starbucks too often, more often than I care to admit,

this is dependable. This is McDonald's French restaurants in Zambia. You know what you get. It's consistent. Can I tell you something? I tried to pull off one of these, you know, these interactions with strangers the other day. And there's this guy that works at the Starbucks around the corner from you that just is exquisite. You know how so many people are just kind of like, they just don't take pride in their work, right?

So you'll go to McDonald's, you'll pay for the sauce, you won't get the sauce, you'll knock on the window, nobody will come. Then they'll come and they'll be like, what's your fucking problem? It's like, what's my problem? right so you encounter that all too often there's a there's a balance though because at our randy's donuts around the corner from us don't want too nice and two into their job every time i walk in there this loud voice goes hello friend no hate that i i feel bad for his co-workers hello friend yeah what can i get you i'm like can you take it easy pete holmes right so um hey dill how are How are the ratings for us on this with our listenership?

Are we getting a lot of people listening? Let me know if I have to yell at people. I'm not sure I haven't looked at the numbers. I assume they're good, but I like when you yell at people. So why don't you just go ahead and do it? Well, they're obviously listening, so they're not the people I need to yell at. That's a good point that would beg the question, who could you possibly yell at? Right.

It's like a logic trap. Anyways, I'm at this Starbucks, right? And this young man is taking such pride in his job. And I've seen him twice. And I go, you know, I'm going to compliment this guy. I go, hey, thank you for taking so much pride in your work. And he looked at me like, what do you do? It was a very awkward thing.

I felt like a colonizer. Not that he was, he was a white guy, but it was just like. He thought you were trying to box him into a corner. Yeah. He's just doing his job. He's just doing his job. But he doesn't plan on staying here. And the fact that you're complimenting on him, you're essentially saying to him,

this is where you'll be. Right, right, right, right. And I think that our tech overlords and, whatever, you know, Rockefellers are moving the highways and byways of our reality have really fucked us up. I mean, why can't I just give somebody a compliment? I'm not saying that you're resigned to being a barista for the rest of your life. Listen, we're here to talk about Real Housewives of Orange County. I am so excited to podcast with you guys. So I don't want the negative deal thing coming out of you or any of the fans, okay? This was one of the worst

episodes of television maybe I've ever seen. I hate, you know, Every season of Real Housewives of Orange County, you come to, like you start the show and you go, oh, I remember Tamara is one of the most disgusting people without power on planet Earth, right? And then as you get into like the middle of the season, you're just, you're fatigued by how disgusting she is. Like if we were to every interviewer, which I wouldn't want to do, because it would just be reading off a list of how big of a cunchy is. I just did. There are seven things in this episode. You'd be like, why are you such a demon? I was just on KKC's show yesterday morning. We love KKKC. We love KKC. And she's personal friends with Tamara. And every time we talked about Tamara,

I had to stop myself before I said her name was Tamrat. I just want to call her rat. I mean, just disgusting. The other thing I couldn't stand about this show or this episode, the split vacations, what are we doing with the split vacations? Why are we doing a sleepover at Heather's and Temecula? Oh, you don't want to say?

see, check out her condo up there? No. Century City. Did not care for the condo that's too high for birds to reach. And also the stuff with Luke. Listen, I understand that Emily's concerns and fears are, are valid. My issue is just that we're going to that well a lot, and it's not that interesting. We need to get rid of her.

I'm sorry. Zero tits for me. Zero tits? Yeah, no tits. Ruby, you go next. Okay. of all, birds can reach extreme altitudes. Extreme altitudes.

So many species can soar two to five thousand feet. And if Heather is living that far in the sky, I... What are you in the birds, Caliphah? You're not. Shut up. You're not. We know that you're in Century City. I think they did this split vacation just because, by the way, they want to test her for

Beverly Hills. Oh, yeah. And quick note, stop the test. pencils down okay it's overcome right right no more test proctor's left yeah you can hand it into the proctor you can't just put it on their desk because they left already um this was bad but here's what I'll say the girls it was an episode where people got to visibly show themselves and the editors were not taking they took no one am I looking for it. They were mean. They held no punches. They took no prisoners.

Prisoners. Prisoners, yes. Emily openly saying like, I think that like Gina or somebody said that and then them playing her saying things that are horrible. Stuff like that. Thank you. We miss that. We like that. Shannon and Pat and I share this. We're about to cross. We're eight and a half toes over the line of it being sticky. I don't like when she gets sticky. I don't know that it's even and how many tits? Well, she's not done her tits yet. 49 tits. We're related. I could feel

her wrapping up there. I just really quickly before you get to your tits. I understand that we're eight toes over the schick line, but I worry that we might be nine toes over the is Shannon Bador actually mentally unwell? Like are we serious? Are we exploits? Are we exploits? a mentally ill person. No, what you're witnessing is a fucking drunk on autopilot. You are.

I've been there. I'm blacked out. I'm having a conversation with someone. It's going good. They have no idea. And that's what she's doing on this show right now. Right, right, right. Because she is a basket case.

I feel bad for her because I think she's lost purpose. She doesn't even give a fuck that she's on this show anymore. No. She doesn't go to fuck how she's presented either. her kids are off doing whatever they're doing she doesn't have a guy in her life yeah it's sad and she's a goddamn drunk i'm worried about her being a a hag i'm not gonna um my tits aren't going to be about this particular episode uh they're going to be more about shannon bador and uh also this poor soul um this guy archie he heard my thoughts on her having no purpose and he agrees yeah he's a big fan of the show

and he listens real time. He's got a live feed into the studio. Yeah, I let him have that. I'm going to give it, I liked it better than both of you. I'm going to give it four tits. Okay. So we begin the episode with a little bit of a montage, Ryan and Chen and their teeth and their illiterate children

are washing their cyber truck. Listen, I, I'm not, I'm not, we're not going to get political. I find Elon to be an exhausting human being that I'm not a fan of. um so i wouldn't uh i kind of vote with my dollars there the cyber truck whether it's elons or not it's just a dumb it's just dumb it's so so such a dumb looking car you get fingerprints on it it makes all the sense in the world that ryan and jen and their teeth would purchase this vehicle uh i'm gonna have to agree with you there um that being said just to go back to one of the first uh stops uh we stopped by shannon bador getting a little filler oh that's right

Right. If you remember Shannon Bidora when she started on this show, she was all about no toxins, no foreign agents in her body. Like, go ahead. She wasn't, she wasn't, and I say this with genuine respect and empathy, she was not overweight in her opinion at that time. And it's very easy to think about and preach about how like natural is like best and like everybody should do that until you need to do it.

and you aren't feeling good about yourself. And then you say, fuck it. Put the plastic in my fucking face because I want to feel good about myself. And I feel fat. And that's that. Yeah. I remember those days where like one time she shoved a fucking summer squash up her asshole or something.

No, that was it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tragedy. Hey, can you host this? Oh,

yeah. All right. Then we bounce over to. Can we quickly say, I don't know. I ask you to host it. Now I'm interrupting you. We kind of we,

I wouldn't say buried the lead, but we forgot to mention. No shady Katie. No shady Katie. you tonight. No shady Katie. No shady Katie. I forgot. Yeah. I forgot. No shady Katie. Manila. Gone.

I've heard from a little birdie that Katie right now is saying it's either me or meatball. Katie. Katie. Katie. Katie. Your honor, Katie. Yeah. Proctor. Proctor. Come back in the room. Here's the thing. Okay. Katie. You can't. go up against it's so weird that she called out meatball because one it it makes the contest

if you are to lose that contest it's a crushing blow right it's kind of like getting this shit beat out of you by a guy with like one arm right um if you go against tamrat the stakes are higher and i weirdly enough think you have a better chance of winning like they're not getting rid of meatball for Katie they're two completely different it's like replacing a center with a point guard it doesn't make it doesn't make any sense bad play katy bad play um okay so we continue to bounce around we stopped by the de bros and i hope everybody's sitting down um people give them free shit all the time uh because they're fucking awesome right aren't they and they're rich right i hate them all right back to shannon badorner daughters oh what we're gonna say we wait pat

were we supposed to take away that that was merch that like fendi and all those boxes that she was like oh my god terry shut up you're not supposed to see me opening this l-o-l that was merch she didn't buy that that was i believe those yeah that's merch that's people giving you free shit is that what you define march as yeah so like here's what i have to say again quick note fendi every designer that did that don't put your pencils down and leave the room and stop doing this don't don't don't don't pick her, okay? Thank you. Move on. Back in the day, we used to get free vibrators. I got a few in the closet, by the way. I'll have to dust them off. But if you're a fan out there that wants one, hit me up. I'll mail it to you. Yeah, and you can hit me up too, because when I brought

home the just bevy of vibrators, they were kind of those, I don't know, women are very particular about vibrators. And I think there's a lot of, like, excess design innovation in vibrators. Like, I think, I don't know. My wife looked upon them with an as-if kind of Elwood's glare. I gave my wife one for Valentine's Day. Yeah. So, anyway. Well, Shannon Bador takes a call from Tamrat,

and she gets invited to that mansion in Temecula, a wine place that I've never been. Oh, Temecula, Temecula, Temecula. Um, Tomecula is a kind of a, a physics defying reality bending location of filth and beauty. Uh, there are pockets of Tomecula that are really, really great. Uh, but by and large, Temecula is a gross land waste. I've heard about, I've heard that about that place. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, one could argue Napa's like that, too. You get up there and you, you drive up to Napa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, uh, there's some bad, uh, bad places. Right, right, right. what what i will say is i do believe that temecula is becoming very expensive and so in like maybe 10 years when all the the gross the trashy myths have left it should be pretty nice so maybe in like a decade and a half um drive by yeah and like uh you know i don't want to sound like classist

or or people like you know temecula's gross but but if you've not been to the kind of outerlaying areas in California that surround beautiful areas, right? So we're talking about mammoth. We're talking about, I mean, Big Bear's gross, but it's beautiful. But San Bernardino is the thing that surrounds it. That's at the bottom of the hill. That's where you stop by to get your meth before you go up the mountain. Exactly. So if you stop by, if you stop anywhere in San Bernardino, you will feel the air will tell you you're in trouble, right? There's something really horrifying You were painting a picture with words. Yeah.

Last time we went to Big Bear at the basin of the hill at a gas station. I think I saw a zombie eating his own arm off. Yeah. Yeah. You did. No. It's a real spooky spot. They're, Dylan and I are essentially saying, if you played soccer and ever travel

more than 90 minutes, these are the places in which you went. and now people go there for you know real housewives retreat so have at it yeah exactly well tamara calls bador for the invite and this was really shocking to me the the i know that we're on a show so we can't um you know the the treatment that shannon gave belino she wouldn't give to tamra or rat because there's just too much equity in the show it's uh not a puttable put but it's confusing to me that and is like, well, you know, I have to entertain this. I can't just hang up on her because clearly she's trying to better herself. She bookends this invite with calling her fat.

She begins the call by calling her fat, saying I'm excited to see you in your bikini. And then she ends the call by saying, bring your bikini. Tamara is such a disgusting bitch. I don't know why anyone speaks to her. At the tail end of the episode, she said something like Jen was a twig with tits. stick with tits i heard ryan likes a stick with tits tam rat tamrat is a disgusting human there's no more likeability there we like a villain you know everyone loves darth vader right you know yeah he killed entire like star systems we forgave him yeah because there's a likeability about right

there's a cool factor tamrat no yeah i'm over that her her child doesn't like her like her Like Sophia is the white night of this entire franchise. And she's like, you can't fucking help yourself, you cunt. You just have to be a petty little bitch, don't you? And she's like, I know, it's so crazy, right? Yeah. It's like, no, it's like really fucked up and not good, right? Yeah, no, our little Haley Williams and Orange County.

Yeah, anyways. Oh, yeah. All right. So then we, Emily meets with Tamrat at a store. And it's one of those stores. And I see a couple of these. I drive by them in town. It's one of those stores.

I'm like, how the fuck does this thing make money? Yeah. It's got a bunch of trinkets. Yeah. They make money because they're. their units are six to 25,000 times asking price. So, yeah, like, so we have a little boutique, a furniture store and a clothing store down the street from us in the little Silver Lake Meadow area.

And no one ever goes in. But when you do go in the dress, the sundress, right, the billowy sundress that you can just throw in the water, it's $3,500. $3,500. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, wow, sorry, but sorry. There's the best part of these places, and maybe this one wasn't one of those. And she said something about like, these are individual designers or something.

I don't remember what she said at the beginning. But these places have like, like Adidas and then they're $390. And you're like, but we know how much these costs, right? These are, these are $90 shoes. So what are we doing here? Well, the thing about these Adidas is that, uh, the summer intern we hired is actually really good with calligraphy and she threw a tag on the heel. Oh, nice.

Something like that. Wow. How do we feel about the I'm too expensive sweatshirt worn by, Emily? This is the equivalent of putting and sorry if I'm offending anyone, don't put laundry above your laundry room. Don't put home in your living room. You know, I don't like that. Yeah. So you're referring to shopping at one of those home goods.

Home goods and buying one of those little wooden plaques. Yeah. Yeah, I am or from anywhere. And I love to shop at home goods. It's one of my favorite pastimes. But, yeah, you can't get a plaque there that says home is where my heart is. Right, because if you get a plaque that says, like, family is everything, who's that for? Because you guys are all the family.

You know that, right? Fine. Yeah. Okay, so this is where we get to more Luke stuff. Yeah, I want to talk about Luke. Emily reflects on how she'd like to spend more time with her 12-year-old daughter who's at chair camp, but that annoying little bastard that sucks is depleting her of her life energy. Not her words.

No, those were her words. That was a direct quote, actually. It was not a direct quote, actually. Dylan, sensitive new dad. That's exactly what she said. Pat, continue. Thank you. Well, I'll just say this.

No more kids under 15 on this show. Again, sorry to reference Kay Casey talking with her about this. exact storyline yesterday we're all in agreement no more of this we don't give a fuck it's just okay so if we're going to go to it a bunch it's got to be it's got to be sadder than this and no one wants it to be sadder than this and if we're and and this is just again super valid i understand where she's coming from she's on the verge of a divorce because she cannot communicate Kate effectively with her husband. Awesome.

Her head hurts because he makes it wear a football helmet when they have sex. And he puts lean cuisines on her lower back. Ruby thoughts. I think that first of all, she says twice in this episode that she's going to get divorced. I think that what we could have done a better job with at producers is making this about the stress that this is putting on her marriage. I think that there's a very large likelihood that this kid is going to be not even like 25, probably closer to like 14 and be like, fuck me. This just sucks that this is, this just sucks.

I don't think that you should not remove this type of agency from your child. And I think talking about it to give all the people that are like it's very nice to connect with her and to see this on TV. We can do that without making it such a focal point of this person's life who is a 10 year old little. little brother guy, you know, let him go. I think it will be focused on the, the Shane in her element. It would be more relatable and less sad. Divorce alert, by the way.

When a housewife mentions it twice in this single episode, it's going to happen two seasons from now. Bye, Shane. Wait, but Pat, okay, can I question? Get your crystal ball out, please. Well, it's not a crystal ball. This is essentially a rubric. This is math.

Okay. Yeah. Get your, okay, sorry, Proctor come back in. Yeah, Proctor. I have not been wrong. My batting average is about 1,000. Proctor, he's using a calculator. We said no calculators.

Excuse me, Proctor. So which is it going to go Tamara and Eddie first and then Emily and Smallwood? Because they can't do it in the same. They have to space it out. No, you've got to break it up. No, no, no. It's no one's getting divorced next season. And then Emily and Shane are going to announce they're getting divorced.

Season 21. And then Tamara and Eddie, stick it out. That's right. For now. Wow. For now. Okay. So we get to a lunch.

Gina shows up to a gathering with Shannon Bador and Jen. And then Gina goes into her child and her cheerleading. Hey, producers, who the fuck do you think you are? And why the fuck do you think we're watching this? Yeah. This gets left on the floor. I mean, it never even comes close to our television screens. This doesn't get shot.

Yeah. So Shannon Bador orders asparagus fries. That sounded like one of the most revolting menu items I'd ever heard because what I saw was just French fries with like asparagus and gravy on top. I'm sure they're breaded and fried spears of asparagus. Oh, asparagus fries. That sounds good. And this is where we start to double dragon cut from locations for the remainder of the episode. We have one. One more scene before we get there, though, Dill. Yeah. And where is that, Ruby? That's, uh, it involves, uh, Heather DeBrow. She's got to head on down to Beverly Hills to, uh, record a podcast. Right over there on Maple.

That's right. Dylan and I've been there. It's, uh, it's less of a building or a company in more like three offices. Yeah. And I think, Hailing, you've been there, too. Oh, I used to work out of that. Yeah, Kay's been there too. Um, I remember when I was, um, when I was working with the, uh,

disgraced NBC medical correspondent Bruce Hensel who was accused of I think child something to do with children soliciting a minor he showed up with cocaine all over his face

for a meeting with Norm Patis and I was I think 23 years old RIP Norm Rest in peace Norm who also brand brandished a weapon often during meetings.

I had three meetings with them. Yeah. So we, I was a pistol. But we know, we know the building well and we know Heather's podcast. Well, I love the tech they have for such a,

oh yeah. They bought everything at Radio Shack after it went on. No, no. That was a good switcher. Anyways, enough inside baseball. She sits down with Dylan Mulvaney. Right. And we're allies.

but more importantly you know who's not kid rock kid rock actually stacked up a bunch of bud lights and took out a submachine gun and shot at them he was so angry hey kid take it easy yeah stop drinking bud light if you don't like it okay well HD's podcast

here let's talk the new podcast is called let's talk now this is not her first rodeo because I'm familiar with Heather's work her first podcast was Mr. and Mrs. Guinea Pig remember that one I don't, and that is a bad name for a show.

Oh, yes, yes. So then there was Heather's world where she just talks about everything revolving around. That's better. The problem with Heather's world, and this is a problem that we have with APS right now, because I just kind of work and then go home and then I'm stuck in a house with a child. Her world is even more boring than mine. She just sits in a condo and then just, I mean, I would assume takes copious amounts of prescription pills until she could get to the next day.

Yeah, maybe. No, I'm kidding. It's all alleged. I'm just making jokes. Her third podcast was called Between Us. Oh, wow. And this fourth one. This is the fourth one, huh?

Now, called Let's Talk. It's like a The Avatar franchise. I want to encourage our listeners. Go try and find Let's Talk. Oh, really? Is it already ripped? It doesn't exist. It's a rouge.

Wow. Well, it's probably not a rouge or ruse. I'm going to just really quickly double check Pat's work. Try it. Go on Spotify. This is podcast one. It's supposed to be everywhere. Look up Heather to Brough.

Heather to bro, let's talk. Let's talk. Heather to bro. Pat, do you remember when she opened up a restaurant with all of her rich friends and they took a helicopter and she was like, no, no, no. like we're just like really really good friends like we won't argue and all the other women were like well we're not as rich as you and we're really jealous and they were like it's actually like the most difficult uh business to open and one in three clothes every year in america i do remember

that yeah i don't think that ever open so she's i'm not i'm not finding let's talk with heather yeah let's talk and this is much like lisa rina's wine launch right if we're going to have dylan mulvaney featured on the episode let's have the episode out when the episode airs right Can we talk really quickly about Lisa Runa for one moment? Let's talk. Yeah, of course. Hey, let's talk with Patty. The Netflix documentary of the catfishing crazy fucking crazy story.

That is a lifetime movie, apparently, that was already made. And Lisa Rina is the mom. So what Ruby's referring to, if I hope I'm getting what you're throwing down, is the high school student that was a cheerleader where she keeps getting texts and messages online about, You should kill yourself. You're a horrible, fat little bitch. And it turns out it was her mother. Oh. Right, Ruby?

What she do? Sending her, like, your boyfriend is leaving you for me because you don't give him good blowjobs and make him creamy. Oh, well, speaking of blowjobs, Lisa Renner is a case study of how to stave off divorce with blowjobs. That's right. I mean, that, I mean, what's his name? Harry Hamlin. Harry. Harry fucking Hamlin.

Yeah, Harry fucking Hamlin. Okay, so this Dylan Mulvaney podcast, Dylan Mulvaney sits down and they speak about how Heather has been there for Dylan. And Dylan says you were in my music video. There are not a lot of people in this town that would have done that. And I love, I think it's beautiful that Heather is such a strong advocate of the LGBTQ. community um but have a couple things about that heather is not really in this town she doesn't live here and um uh she was in that music video because she needs some something to do needs to get

out of the house right this was not like one it was either that or stare at a wall up right and also that that um wish list i mean how if you're dylan will vaney filming a music video i mean how high can you really go what are you going to hit kate winslet up for that role. Taylor Swift. She was probably busy that day. Yeah. So it's beautiful, but again, she needs to get out of the house.

We get to Jen and Emily fostering animals. And at this point, I'm wondering what the fuck these producers are doing. We get to a guy in a way too intense uniform for this outfit. And he instructs Emily and Jen to clean cat letter. and then that kind of prompts them to talk about how they had messy children, that this was not anything to them because their children were messy. And this was about a four-minute segment. Yeah.

Zero tits. Zero tits. Then we get over to Tamrat and Darya figuring out what outfits she's going to wear. And then we jump over to Jen and Ryan's house. Now, one thing I noticed, because I know fashion, Ryan is wearing sneakers that a 14 year old would wear but he's

well into his 50s. He's a fly boy. Listen to me. Ryan is broke. He's wearing those sneakers and leasing that ridiculous car as a flex. Yeah.

Next season, storyline, he's broke in bankruptcy. That's why Jen, when asked with the lie detector, do you see yourself marrying this guy? She knows what's going on. She knows what's going on. I'm not going to say she's read the PNLs.

you know but she knows what's going on because when she asks if i can buy something he goes what you text me a picture of the you want me to text you a picture of the direct another price tag i can just tell you yeah no it's uh not good not good stuff then we jump over to shannon badores because she's uh prepping for that trip she's leaving archie behind she lets him know she's leaving. What's up, Archie? Oh, you know. Oh, I love the Looney Tunes slide at the end.

Yeah, he said help. Yeah, that was, he said help. That was Wiley going off the cliff there. All right, so Emily gets a call from DeBreau. This is so bizarre. She's inviting Emily and another one, Gretchen, I think, to a sleepover. The staff are going to get the beds ready, the mosquito nets.

hung and what do you call those things mosquito nuts but they're like little princess you know curtains yeah the bed curtains um I don't know why I genuinely don't know why we're splitting up the vacations they do this they do this often Tamara's good with Debrough and Tamara's good with Emily

and all of these women are okay enough to be forced to go on a trip together so I I don't know what this is. I will say, I don't know what kind of producer this is called, but someone kind of tracking the footage and realizing what they should do and where they should go. At this point, we need to break the group up to talk shit about each other.

Oh, okay. You think? I think so. Okay. Well, we drive to Temecula, Shannon Yanks down her gums and reveals a missing tooth, and that was what that was. And then we get to a segment called Deep Thoughts with Shannon Bador. My dad had an avocado mountain.

this has the potential to be a very good moment. There I say, a New York kind of Ramona Durinda moment. Why you need to josh this up? Like, what are we doing here? Just have Shannon Madore in the back of a car telling this fucking insane story. But you make it a thing and you kind of like, I don't know, betray the candid spirit of housewives. I just had a thought, Dylan. Yeah.

Shannon Bador is on the wrong version of this show. Shannon Bador would have fit in much better with the O.G. New York, Louan. Oh, yeah. Like, because there was no judgment about being a blackout drunk. Right. But also, she's too, she's too reserved to be with those women. Those women were loud and out on the city. Oh, you don't even know.

Yeah, like she could have been, I think once she became a real alcoholic and she was out with it, think she could have really torn up the time i mean the quiet woman with those people oh my god romona singer and sonia and shannon blacked out yeah that would don't forget me dude i was i pulled a clip of luann getting arrested for a social clip recently and it's just one of the most it's one of the most joyous videos i mean she she tells the cops that she's going to kill them i'll kill you oh and the cops are just like whoa whoa don't don't do I'll kill you. Well, now we're going to have to, there's another charge there, Luann.

Ruby. Oh, I don't care. I'll be playing at the Rosebelt next week. Poopoo, pooh, but do. He, this, she gets out of her handcuffs and out of the car and is like, I don't know why you're doing this. What did I do? Right. Also, I sent Dylan one of the greatest and everyone to look this up, if you have a spare moment, clips of all time is the cameo of Teresa Judey's reading for the first time a note from the,

person who's requested the cameo and she is requesting her advice because her like sister-in-law has chlamydia because she was fucking her brother and now her parents know and it's just and then she just she's never seen it before and she reads it earnestly and then gives her an answer and says I think you should go to the doctor and then you've got to talk to your family because this is not good this is very bad it's just they're amazing yeah no the only one that might match it is jacks taylor just being a nihilist bro you know everybody's going to say everybody's going to say it's okay it's not it's not we die and that's it's it's nothing else okay so i'm sorry you lost your dad but that's what's going to happen to all of us it means nothing but have a great weekend thanks for being

a fan yeah check out jack's bar and lounge oh it's closed sorry Sorry about your dad. Okay, so we get to the house, and Shannon Bador has brought a food suitcase, what I'm going to call a food suitcase, with an immersion blender and an egg white bite maker. This is a very, Ruby and I have an aunt named Aunt Lynn. This is a very Aunt Lynn move. It is funny, but when Shannon Bador does it, it's just kind of. Sad. It's just kind of sad.

Because our Aunt Lynn has never touched a drop of alcohol. Shannon Bador bathes in it. She's marinated. Kalan, do you remember Doug Stanhope? Of course. Doug Stanhope is a comedian. Probably our audience doesn't know who he is.

I'm sure our audience knows Doug. Just a world-class alcoholic. And didn't, Caitlin, didn't you tell me he showed up with a, he carries a suitcase with him of alcohol in case there's none near him. He brings his own glasses to the podcast. Listen, when I was big into wine, I would bring my own glasses to places.

Oh, wow. I don't trust other people's. Well, I don't trust. I don't, you're not going to, you're not going to, if I'm excited to drink a bottle of wine, I'm not going to drink it in a fucking thick glass, like a, like a milkshake glass. Like, I'm not going to do that. You sound like my wife. I'm not doing that.

And also, I don't want. You don't want your cloudy, fucking fridge ice if I'm, if I'm getting geared up for a cocktail. Wow, you really sound like my wife. I don't like cloudy ice when I'm drinking a nice cocktail. I don't drink a lot. So when I drink, I want to do it right. What's the problem? Okay, so I have a question.

So what nice wine bars are you going to where they're giving you thick, thick milkshake glasses? I don't go to wine. I don't go to natural wine bars. Obviously, they have nice glass. Get them, Ruby. But I'll go to a friend's house and they have thick, disgusting wine glasses. I don't want to drink out of that. Excuse me.

sorry stay home I got offered a mug one time I brought over a nice bottle of wine they said we don't have any well you drink out of a coffee mug never again shame on me I guess I'm in the wrong

a mug yeah all right I want to talk about Debrose Palace up here this is where a candy spelling was famously she moved out of a mansion to the top floor of this fucking place yeah and she has a wrapping room, a gift wrapping room, you know, who needs one of those?

Yeah. Anyway. The crazy thing about this is how off, it never works, right? So, so you could try to fill up the void with all of it, but it doesn't work. You're still going to be looking at the pill bottle going, I don't have a podcast until Wednesday. What am I going to do? How are you going to fill that? Yeah. And also, it's, it's September. There are no gifts that need wrapping anywhere near me right now. No, no, no, no. So, this place, I drive by it very often in Century City.

You take the elevator down. I've been to this place, by the way. And then there's nothing to fucking walk to. It's empty. You're on a, right? Have you been at Avenue of the Stars? Italy's right there. You know what this reminds me of?

It's like when you're in Vegas and you're like, oh, wow, we've hit the strip. And then you're like, wait, the only way, for us to get across the road to the one destination that we're trying to go to that looks like it could be cool is if we walk 63 minutes up or down to the escalators and then 48 minutes that's why I was last time I was there with my wife she went up to bed and I was pretty fucking drunk and gambling and I wanted to go to another casino to change my odds I didn't like the felt at this place and I just hopped the fence and just jay walks good for you And I was like, I'm not walking all the way down there next to White Castle to cross a bridge.

By the way, this is why it's proven that I'm an Oracle. I obviously predict divorces. I predict deaths. I said three and a half years ago, Vegas fucking sucks. And it's too expensive. They are falling apart there. They're losing money. Tourism down 60%.

People start, they need to start listening to me. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Listen up, Vegas. The great Oracle. Can you imagine if the Oracle from the Matrix was PATH? Hi, Neal.

Get out of this movie franchise. It's horrible. Hey, Neo, this isn't a good one, huh? They should have stopped. Stop at one. Okay. Custation. Pat and Dylan, can you tell me about this?

Is this an establishment? Okay. What is? Long running establishment. Yes. Beverly Hills Haunt. It is. Overpriced nonsense.

It's actually a really beautiful. It's an immigrant family who moved here and opened up, you know, because the people in Beverly Hills are kind of rich, chuggy honkies by and large, you have a couple rich chugie Persians there as well. They're tongue blind and have no taste, right? So across, you know, everything. So when they find Asian food, right, if something with a Thai basil, they'll absolutely flip out and pay top dollar for it because usually they just eat lasagna and pastrami, which is fine. You can head down the street and not all the time. Order that at Craigs, but you come here for the special stuff like crispy, crispy Covington prawns. It's crab. Also known as

deep fried sea bugs. They do really, really good crab stuff there, crab garlic noodles. But the garlic noodles, which are noodles with garlic, will cost $25. And then the crab, I think, is like $80 or $100. and it's just like, what are people in Beverly Hills doing with their money? To answer, Ruby, it's a tourist trap also. You don't need to go there. It's good. Go to Craigs. I like, oh, no, no, no.

What restaurant am I thinking of? I thought that, as you were saying it, what restaurant am I thinking of? No. Catch. No, go ahead. Custations. No, go ahead. Keep rolling.

Okay. All right. Um, all right. So here, is this where Emily, who is truly white trash, uh, talks about ordering fireball? Uh, yeah. Well, it actually is, it's Gretchen. And then she's like, do you have any?

And, um, the lovely crustacean waiter says, no, you dumb bitch. She's grown up in a trailer park. I don't. And then Emily says, don't worry. I'm from Ohio. I do in my bag. Right. Uh, then we bounce back to wine country.

Tamrat is trying really hard. to kind of make amends because I think she's convinced it is crustacean is that it's the immigrant family it is okay good good good got it yeah yeah if you want to uh it's super embarrassing if you want to get a tuna cigar tuna cigars yeah one single one with caviara you too can pay $22 for that yeah or more and they'll bring it out in a cigar box with dry ice and you'll be like well this is really expensive stupid oh sorry yeah uh okay so um shana I already mentioned this at the top of the show. In this scene, I noticed she was technically a drunk zombie.

She's just on autopilot. And then the girls bond over Hawk Tua. What a talent. I was going to say, yeah. I remember the first time a lady hawked on my, a hocked a lugia on my dong, and I was confused. But my engineer brain, because Patty's smart, I was like, oh, I see what you're doing down there.

This is the backstory of Crestation. When Saigon fell in 1975. Oh, God. I mean, it's a pretty, it's a fival goes west kind of success story. It's really beautiful, actually. Okay. Do you hear the producer ask Shannon Bador? Do you swallow?

Only a gay man, right? Like, you don't need to, clearly a gay man ask that question. Yeah, yeah, I think so. I think so. All right, we wrap this episode. Well, hold on. We've got to go, Heather's in the growlings now. Oh, of course.

Heather is doing comedy. And I love that the women are like, I can't see Heather doing it. But I could see Terry doing it. Terry is of real comedic talent. Yeah, he cracks us all up. I thought her career was going to take off like a rocket chip after that two-episode arc on Malibu County. I love when you bring it up, Ruby, your thoughts.

I was just going to say, I thought that Pow's made serious for a second. I was like, how, you thought it how. When Terry and Heather, and by Terry and Heather, I mean just Heather, because they don't speak unless they're filming, when Heather watched that clip of the lady saying, like, Heather's not funny, but L-O-L, Terry would be hilarious. she thought about self-harm. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She hates Terry.

All right. A couple other things. Emily brings up that Heather Debrough is scared of Tamrat, which Heather denies. She says it's bullshit. Yeah, she does. I don't think she's afraid of her. I think she just doesn't want to get her hands dirty.

You start messing with Tamrat. She's got all these fucking little scouts out there trying to dig up dirt on you. Yeah. she's got scouts. She's scared of her. Then Gina and Tamara I discussed that fatty photo

and Tamara defends it by saying that photo you didn't look that bad in it. Well I love that like we're finally going to like rip the band-aid off and finally heal right. The neosporin we need not anymore. Let's actually see the wound and Jen's ready to get over it

and then she sees the photo of herself which is a photo that we have all laughed at not being bad at all and Jen is ripped back into Hades once again. She's like, I cannot believe you would go that far.

It's like, Jen, you're in jeans and wedges. You're, you're looking fine. It's fine. And Tamrat's explanation for this is, I was trying to point out that you've changed as a person.

Okay. She's such a fucking bitch. Oh, God. She is a monster of a human being. Oh, my God. But what I did think was so funny is like Jen acted truly like it was as though she showed her like she hacked her home security camera when she was two days like postpartum with her third kid it was one of it was just like

the most mediocre photo it just couldn't have been less it was the most underwhelming thing I've ever seen the defense mounted that that when she was a struggling mom when the kids were taking naps she would eat welcome to be an apparent oh my god you fat pig you disgusting fat fucking sow. I beat mac and cheese that's been in one of my kids' mouths and on a plate. Yeah. Like that's how, you know.

But then we get to Bador and Tamara. Yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry. I have to point out too. The book that Tamara was going to give. Oh, yeah.

Shannon, ha ha ha is called how not to be a miserable cow. Yeah. And also like, I know that Tamara is joking about the font being big so that Bador can read it. Tamara, this reminds me of the 50 cent call out of Floyd May. whether if you can read one page of a Harry Potter book,

I'll donate $50,000 to whatever charity you want. Tamara, read one line of any moderately challenging book. I guarantee you you will not get through it. Fucking, are you illiterate demon? Okay. I think that's it. That's it. Shannon and Tamara just kind of do this tug of war with who's worse.

And Tamara, it just excels at, um, muddying the vocal point of the argument. That's what she's really, really exquisite at. And the only way to fix this is really to just punch her in the fucking face. I mean, one of these women... We don't advocate for violence. No, no, no, no. But we do on our television, right?

So, and I think we do just for a stress relief for these women. I mean, I can't even imagine being around her this much. I'm surprised it hasn't happened already. Get in the comments. Let us know if you know the story of the Ann family. that started Crestation. Let us know if you have checked Caelin's Instagram page out.

What is it? What was it called again? Kalins? Yeah. It was called Badass Eats. Bad ass eats. Nice. Yeah.

Let us know if you followed him there. Give us your best hawk to us story. Give us your best hawk to a story. How high do you? How high do you live? Can birds get to you? And have a good. good one. I'm Dylan say goodbye. Did you eat pizza before you showed up?

Pat say goodbye. And Ruby say goodbye. Bye-bye. I don't know.