Another Below Deck Podcast - The Boss of Where Food is Put | Below Deck Med S6 E4

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

Dyl, Nick and Pat are back to talk about palm sugar, cowboys from Sweeden, cleaning up human piss, how children need to be more scared of people, being the boss of where food is put, the resiliency of sea rats and grape oil and also Below Deck Med.  Patreon here - Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetwork  YouTube Version of this episode: https://youtu.be/QaNNRF9a7K0 Merch here - AnotherMerchStore.com  Another Podcast Show here - https://apple.co/3cpI2CX Thank you to MagicMind.co Use Promo Code BELOWDECK for 25% OFF

Excuse me. They depart. Matt says, I will be disappointed, Z, if you don't have sex with Courtney. Would you shut up? Hey, Chef Spaz, no one asks. Who gives a fuck? But also, you're not that guy. You're not that guy, pal.

He's like chumming it up. Like, hey, I'm going to be pissed off if you don't fuck her. You have Munchausen's your hit cell. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm sad settled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. What's going on, everybody? Pat producer podcast over there behind my glasses. How you doing, everyone? Hey, it sounds weird here. What's going on?

I don't think there's anything weird about it. I think it sounds pretty good, actually. Oh, I'm only coming out of one side of my headphones. I think those headphones honestly might be broken. That's fine. I'm a profession. It'll come in and out. You're a pro? Play with it. I'm fine. Don't worry about it. You're okay?

Yeah. Nick, I'm fine. He's a professional. He can handle it. Professionals don't complain. Yeah, they do. Not really. What are you talking about?

This is a shot across the bow, nautical themed. What are you doing right now? Oh, Ahoy, Mateys. Different show. Yeah, exactly. You know what professionals don't do? What? nautical themed what are you doing right now oh ahoy mateys different show yeah exactly you were you know what professionals don't do what get catty when the mics turn on okay that's exactly what you're doing right now i didn't feel like mr catty why don't you get into psa's oh yeah okay uh we need more of you to get over to that patreon there right off the bat we gotta hit 900 come on

we've been getting so close it's like uh you know going on a date and you're like make it out in the back seat i don't like this analogy you think she's gonna let you unbuckle that uh belt and then she stops you right there that's what it feels like we're getting to like uh 890 and then you guys stop and it ends the month yeah and then just you know if um if you want to support us because you like us that that'd be a great way to do it. It's $5 a month. You'd cancel at any time, but don't cancel. Forget that you gave us the $5 and keep it rolling. It'd probably be a better business model if we never mentioned it again, quite honestly.

Yeah. Any thoughts? Just that we had one brave soul message us. They were having trouble upgrading, but but they wanted to and they will be to the attack hawk tier where you can buy one minute of air time on our program to use as a promo announcement break up with your wife that that's a one we're really encouraging that would be pretty groundbreaking in podcasting history but that's the attack hawk tier a hundred dollars at patreon.com such another podcast now what is is with these fancy beers? It's just like, this is...

Oh, you don't like that one? That's my buddy. I saw the label and I was like, yeah, I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to like this. Salt and lime lager. That's a very popular beer. We don't have...

We have no problems. We're just creating new stuff like this and nobody needs this. You know what I mean? Have you seen any fast foods recent offerings out there? Carl's Jr. Yeah, I have. you forced me to eat all of them they have a waffle chicken sandwich at carl's junior all right we got to get into below deck thank you for humoring us during psa's guys thoughts and knots it's a segment where we speak about the episode in general terms and

assign a rating of not. One to 100. If we could give it zero, we would. Nick, do you want to go first? Sure. It's really fucking me up having these episodes available early on On Demand because I love this program so much that I am just compelled to watch ahead.

Luckily, I went back and watched four again after watching five today so i'm not going to get confused i love that you say program like a yenta in the but if i'm gonna uh put the two back to back it's really hard to separate this is only a 60 knot program but it sets up a lot of drama which is gonna be a banger i'm not gonna give you my knots for next week but a banger 60 knots um i'm gonna go next okay i'm with you this is you know this is an episode eight before the penultimate game of thrones episode nine which is the real you know hammer because you love this program as well and you i love this program as well i watch episode

five uh do yourself a favor go to peacock holy smokes next week is going to be unbelievable i'm so excited but tonight yes a 60 not show i'll give it 12 pots pat okay uh this is uh roy orbison's uh child's second charter right orby i thought so okay yeah all right this could be fun all right first off you got to get into details when you're doing your thoughts and not the audience really you can't just give it a not and then just go i kind of liked it and then talk about another episode professionals would do this off air correct they probably would but anyway i i like mixing it up sometimes i'll give specifics about the episode even though we're not supposed to sometimes i'm talking about an episode last week i'll talk about another season next week i don't care it's almost like it's a free flowing but it's

more it's my thoughts and knots right now got it all right. I'm convinced that Lexi is a sociopath. Well. That list that she's been working on, having written for a number of years. Oh, we know the horrors of the pageant industry. We know it well. Well, I'm beginning to think that Glenn, if those two met,

they'd be a wonderful pair with one another. Sure. Glenn would be doing it out of his love for the women that he kills, and Lexi would be doing it, obviously, out of hate. She terrifies me. Yeah. All right.

I love that part of the episode. I also love that Orby, Roy Orbison's failure of a son is back on this boat. Failure of a son? He's six, Pat. Or maybe even younger. What? Oh, oh, the drunk. No, yeah, the drunk.

Got it. I'm sorry. There's like so many different Roys at this point. It is a case study of not leaving your fortune to a single a child of yours because they will squander it and then become drunks and be absolute failures in life in every aspect you were talking about uh on uh aps um go over there also search another podcast show go listen to that we need your reviews oh yeah we never say that go another uh podcast show it's's another feed. It's a different feed. We gab and goof about whatever we want. Pat brought up the new, the learning channels, newest educational offering me, my ex.

And what, what is it? No, you, you, me and my ex, me and my ex in which you know, a person lives with the partner and their ex partner. And we were talking about how this is a very long way of getting there, but we were talking about how, is a very long-winded way of getting there, but we were talking about how you kind of need pretty people to be on television. That's what everybody wants. We're not saying it outwardly, but that's why we do this podcast.

Orby. He's a red-faced ogre. I don't want to see him on this show. Happy times. Sitting hammered with his red pockmarked face disgusting let's get into the show oh yeah yeah 70 knots um all right so we are still on a night out with the crew they seem to be fighting about something beyond insignificant which i think was a brainchild of uh the pigeons it would seem to be i don't know what they were oh he's an insecure incel and

started accusing the more attractive women of not liking him in the real world, which is accurate. But don't do that. Don't do that at a nice dinner out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also like, hey, dude, you're in the barn. You get to talk to them. Spend some hay. The girls are wondering if Matt is going to kill them.

And it's a well-founded concern because he has Munchausen's and an incel. He's killed little animals before as a child and he works with knives. So head on a swivel. This guy is a very concerning character. Yeah, and he's a few sandwiches

short of a picnic, I believe one of the young ladies pointed out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, but also, weirdly, it does seem like he's able to cook and I feel like that precision

will only make him that much more apt of a killer. Well, he's a savant good at one thing he is not a savant he is not good at cooking we'll talk about it all right no no you know what he is he's a specialist okay as i've talked before uh my grandmother used to praise my older brother duane main on him being a genius and i said grammy he's an absolute moron he's good at at one thing, stealing things. But she praised him for that. Dwayne. Pat had a tough upbringing. Dwayne, as you all recall, 6'10", didn't play basketball.

It really bothers me. So Chief Stew, Katie begins her talk on hating hierarchy. Anything on that? Not really. Okay, so let's talk about how I'm $55 poorer. The Courtney and Z thing is beginning. I think, though, this might be the biggest bone she throws him. And I believe I'm going to be fifty dollars poor.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm starting to wane on it. I wouldn't doubt, though. She's she's fucking engineer Jake, though, when the cameras aren't rolling. Well, we'll get back to that. I mean, the girl learned how to well we'll get back to that i mean

the girl learned how to twerk by watching youtube videos i mean no she's no she didn't she attempted to learn how to twerk by watching youtube videos she still can't do it that's how i attempted to learn how to twerk youtube videos i can do it i feel like okay so you feel like you learned it from your mom that'd be even worse than learning from the internet. What are you talking about? All right, so let's get to Lloyd. He begins doing an auctioneer geese impression. I had it on 1.3 times speed. I was very confused about what was happening.

It's his dance move. Okay. They call him the goose. The goose gets loose. Okay, so he's got a tattoo of a goose. And he kind of has this earnest recounting of this nostalgic period in his life. If you want to get flippant tattoos, be flippant about them.

Don't there's the, you can't attribute meaning to this stupid tattoo you have on your wrist. But the stupidest times sometimes do give us the most meaning. I love Lloyd. I really feel like this man could not hurt a soul. A lot of people have compared him to Dylan, the way they look alike. Dylan is much angrier. Right. So, um, the prospect of, excuse me,

they depart. Matt says, I will be disappointed, Z, if you don't have sex with Courtney. Would you shut up? Hey, Chef Spaz, no one asks. Who gives a fuck? But also, you're not that guy. You're not that guy, pal.

He's like chumming it up like, hey, I'm going to be pissed off if you don't fuck her. You have Munchausen's, you're an incel. Yeah, I mean, it's a typical incel sign. You got to get laid for me. This is just an inkling into how big of a creep this guy is. It really starts to come out. I won't talk about it again. Episode five.

All right. So the prospect of both fucking and sucking seemed slim, but perhaps our luck has turned. This dance party in the master, where the paying guests will sleep tomorrow, is lit the fuck up, actually. These sea rats know how to party. Yeah. Sea rats! I was so excited. It seemed like they're all getting along. will sleep tomorrow is lit the fuck up actually you see rats know how to party yeah i i say rats

i was so excited it seemed like they're all getting along this was true just joyous revelry took a jewel hit at the wrong time so it's hard to discern what's happening inside of a ball of snakes um but let's uh give it a shot i need a sexy meanwhile. Sexy meanwhile. All right. So Courtney and you guys stop me at any point. Courtney gives Z a lap dance. He has Carlton energy the entire time. The one deckhand with big teeth.

We should. That's on me. What's his name? We have to know that can't Dave. That can't Dave. I apologize. He tries to feed Malia cake. Valiant, but a failure.

Lloyd grinds on Z's dick for a little. What a silly goose. Lexi blacks out and calls her mother and Z and Courtney hook up. I think Lexi is one of those girls that was like faking how drunk she was and then she called her mother uh oh I'm falling I'm in the hallway I need help up no you're not well she demands her mother to answer and she's just talking to a a phone I get messages from my grandma like that all the time it's on the voicemail she's like Nick pick up Nick pick up and also people may like you're always looking at that damn thing why don't

you answer it i'm with your grandma but um you know people will say oh give her some rope you know she's her father just passed away she's going through a lot of stuff let's talk about that next episode because you know i've had some friends with parents pass away untimely and um they'll behave like that because they're not sea rats. Thank God. But anyways, let's get to bed. Lexi's mother, speaking of, is a pious Christian. It doesn't sound like the best person to drunk FaceTime scream at.

But this leads to a really beautiful moment between her and Malia. and Malia. Malia finds out that her dad passed away three months ago and consoles her while that creepy in-room below deck camera captures her ass. It was a beautiful ass. It's a great ass. Do you have anything to say about the moment though? Yeah, the boy

shorts. I thought they might go at it and bump some uglies for a second there. Yeah, how did I think that was going to go? And the boy shorts accentuated Malia's fine ass, which he has cultivated. Oh no, I was talking about Lexi's. Oh, we saw Lexi's. We also saw Malia's uh fine ass which is cultivated talking about uh lexi's oh we saw lexi's we also saw malia's and she had some boy shorts and i mean those handstands are doing it right but about the actual interaction yeah yeah yeah let's talk about that though i did have a thought uh nick knows too much lexi on her instagram said she was wary of malia because

she thought malia was just on a PR move. And that's why she was consoling her in front of the cameras. And I think she's laying the groundwork for, I told you I wouldn't do it, but episode five. It sounds like the paranoia of someone harmed, scarred by the pageant industry. Only explanation. So the sea rats, next day.

Next morning. The sea rats are struggling, but they'll be fine. They're resilient creatures. Just once again, just under a microscope, just the lack of value in a trip like this. The entire staff that's supposed to be waiting on you hand and foot are incapacitated, probably still drunk, if not hungover, at best.

Yeah, it's so funny seven hours of sleep you imagine if arthur was this fucked up every time bruce wayne needed him that's his name right arthur what's his name oh man michael caton what's his name all right so uh we get the classic morning after talk that we've discussed so often um and it gives me hope for this bet that courtney has quite literally alfred jesus arthur is an aardvark um also a deaf kid who used to live on my block when i was a child coincidentally i had a deaf kid also a rich drunk guy played by dudley moore in films. And, uh, and, um... That's author.

That's a long callback for longtime APS fans. What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? Russell Brand. Russell Brand! He was in the remake. He shaved a beard off and it fucked his whole career down. All right, so he's making a lot of money on YouTube right now, so I don't know what you're talking about. Incredible episode of Armchair Expert

with Dax Shepard and Russell Brand, if we're doing apropos of nothing. You know, I can't. We used to edit this show very heavily. I can't listen to Armchair Expert because the cuts are so obvious. Listen to that podcast. You'll hear them. I mean, it's just crazy. So they're jabbing away for three hours to try and get some goals. Three hours, getting 45. They need a continuity expert on that edit. And it also used to not be ruined by the PR cycle. Now it's just people coming down to promote whatever they had on.

It used to be real conversations, but he got $60 million for Spotify and it all went to kaput. Did I say continuity expert? Yeah. Okay. Nice. You were saying, Dylan? So the time has come. We've've got kids so maybe we'll get a fucking critter pool this time dilly i thought when you were saying we normally catch up in the

morning you were going to have a point on everybody catching up oh yeah well courtney doesn't have any recollection of hooking up with them and i'm glad you mentioned that because i got to thinking if you're courtney you can drive home from a bar blackout drunk roll over a dude on a bicycle go home crawl in your bed wake up the next morning eat breakfast walk out and say why is there a fucking ear on my windshield yeah where'd this ear come from as she's watching the news man missing late night cyclist john doe loses ear all right the woman can't put two and two together. So the time has come. We've got kids, like I said.

So maybe we'll get a fucking critter pool. It's time for the preference sheet meeting roy orbison jr and his wife asa or osa as uh katie or sandy kept pronouncing it the repeat charter guests who who of course could forget them on below deck meds many season five episode three we all enjoyed that one uh he of course is a music business mogul uh and son of rock and roll legend roy orbison hey can i interject for one second whoa whoa whoa let him answer that question yes this. This fucking POS pretends like he's a professional musician and that's what he lists

as his goddamn occupation. He's basically just selling off his dad's fucking legacy and wonderful music to fucking TV shows on Netflix. Also, I'm very confused. Was Roy Orbison Jr. some cigar-smoking planeswalker

or was he a Swedish guy? Roy Orbison? Yeah. Are you talking about... He was America. Roy Orbison moved to Sweden. I think he met this Asa, who was like a model.

Okay. Moved to Sweden. Because Roy Orbison was a fucking cowboy kind of guy, right? Well, the way he... Later he got a little Johnny Cash look to him,

but he had a sultry voice. Okay. You know his songs right yeah yeah okay preference she preference she meeting uh i had some thoughts on roy olbertson but i can't really woman oh that's him yeah obviously we're like having fucking millennials we i i bet if you listened to episode uh season five episode three we knew we knew we had this all of this uh but no uh they now live in Stockholm and are considered one of Sweden's most successful power couples. Their their wedding was even covered in People magazine.

Along with them are their two toddlers, Roy, the third and Bo. The boys ask about Captain Sandy frequently, the preference sheet said, and cannot wait to see her again. I am shocked, absolutely shocked Captain Sandy did not force that little nugget into the preference sheet meeting verbally. But it was on the screenshot. Along with their two toddlers, joining them will be their friends

from Sweden, Gustav, his wife, Tina, a model. I feel like every woman in Sweden is Amado, are they not? And their one-year-old daughter, Filippa. Filippa. Filippa. There it is. Roy's lifelong friend, Derva, will also be joining, as well as Asa and Roy's nanny, Rebecca.

Two notable exceptions from last year's trip are nanny Agnes, who got the axe after she probably tried to tell asa that roy was trying to bang her and uh now they have rebecca yeah and also uh roy's best friend as we remember leaf right uh swedish rock star from ace of base leaf how are you man i believe he may have saw the signs of alcoholism and decided not to come on this televised vacation with old Roy. But I'm really excited about that one. It's all downhill from here. Okay, great.

They are looking to have plenty of non-alcoholic beer and champagne. I think the crew during this preference sheet meeting confused that with non-alcoholic beer and non-alcoholic champagne. But no, two separate things. So the non-drinkers can feel like part of the fun yeah the whole group including the young boys are looking forward to jessie's and spending time with all the water toys water toys whenever possible i was doing so well you're still doing well that concludes the breakfast sheet that's it one little flub damn well a pretty big flub actually twice uh did you see anything mentioned about a critter pool at all no uh pretty upset uh i feel like maybe the creature single fucking mention maybe the creatures aren't as bad in uh croatia i think they still got

jellies who knows? Before the provisions arrive, can we talk about Z and Courtney really quickly? Please. How do we think Z's playing this? Because I think that he might have a little bit of a game here. I think that he's making the right move.

Do not bring this up in broad daylight when you're lucid. There's no way to. What, are you going to slide your arm in a door jam and say like you know so about last night you know you keep it quiet and then you talk about it at night when you're both you know vodka zombies that's when you bring it up again he's making the play for friends with benefits not the relationship where we uh kind of sneak into little closets during the day as we're doing our jobs sure no no we are night dwellers we We fuck at night. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're a booty call, baby. I like that, though. I think it's a good strat. That's short for strategy. They just get fucked up, and they're like, what you, or he's like, what you talk about, Willis? I haven't mentioned it,

but this man looks identical to Gary Coleman. How have we not mentioned that? And don't say anything about race. Don't say that. About race. Don't say that. Just calm down, everybody. He looks, he was an angry little fucker. Yeah, he was.

Oh yeah. Lots of surreal life appearances. It's so funny that Gary Coleman and Gary Cole are so different. I kept thinking, I was like,

it's not Gary Coleman. That's the guy who tells Joker something. Fuck. I don't know who tells Joker something. Fuck. I don't know. He was in Dark Knight. Gary Cole is the down on his luck agent that arrives back at Ari's agency asking for a job.

Oh, yeah. Of course. I knew that about him. I was trying to reference him from Dark Knight. So a forklift of provisions arrives once again. Lexi brings down a box of stuff. This prompts a little bitchy freak out from matt which uh weirds lexi out and obviously matt says in a

what a catastrophe that could have been way worse what a catastrophe. Wouldn't be the first. You know, Friday, Nick, you weren't here, but Pat knocked over almost an entire thing of White Claw and it spilled out onto the carpet. And he literally just looked at it and waited for the sun to dry it up. It's 130 degrees, so it's pretty solid strat. All right, we're all over the place. Let's get back on track. So, Matt. What just happened? Well, you opened the fridge and a bunch of beer bottles fell out. Now Chewy's all over the place let's get back on track so matt just happened no well you opened

the fridge and a bunch of beer bottles fell out now chewy's all over the place i mean it's just the fucking poles are getting scrambled in this room so can i get back to this please um where to put this box of food gate as nick called it obviously matt says in a fidgety, very scary kind of way, I'm the boss of where food is put. He's having a very tough time combating Lexi. He loses that battle 100 times out of 100. Neutral field, home field away. Doesn't matter. You're going to lose every time.

So anything before the guests arrive? That's it. Lexi's demoted to laundry bitch for this charter. The bubbles are bubbling up. She's starting to get aggression towards Katie, the chief's chief. So the guests arrive. The little kid runs and jumps into Sandy's arms. That kid needs a lot

of work. A lot of work. Glad you brought that up. They're probably both fans of her life coach videos on YouTube. Well, it kind of reminded me of a tiger raised in like a sanctuary, you know? Like it doesn't have the right, you know, danger awareness mechanisms in his brain, you know? It's not right.

He can't be let out into life like this, jumping into Sandy's arms. I actually think despite the alcoholism of his father, this kid's gonna have a bright future and there's no doubt in my mind that he was coerced probably promised some sort of treat on the way home if he ran and jumped into this woman's arms i don't think it was of his own volition uh this is what i would have done if i was one of those uh deckhands or something like that i would have said hey crumb crunchers come over here and i would have knelt down i would whisper in their ears take all this in because your dad's a loser okay so by the time you're 12

he will have pissed all your fortune away all right so um he's worth 12 million bucks really quick moment they are leaving the dock when z asks if he can release something that is evidently very important malia's like no no you can't how are these people hired it seems so dangerous um all right so the charter seems easy entertain the little aryan monsters and your tip is more or less secure um we've got some more incredible backstory i want this to end you know i don't need to i don't need these polaroid flashbacks of incredibly boring things about these characters lloyd used to play tennis can we get to lunch please uh just that i mean tennis prodigies go through the same if not worse rigor than the pageant industry uh his ability to come out such

a nice young straight man is pretty incredible look at fucking david foster wallace he hung himself in a fucking garage or something like that i don't know maybe i'm confusing with what bradley cooper did in that one movie the dog scratching at the door and all that all right so matt says that the guests love his style of cooking um yeah yeah that wasn't on purpose but that was funny okay good do you want to shake you're up to you do you want to shake yeah no no no hands are too clean it is so wet all right so um so matt you know the guests love him he loves them they both like light sloppily plated food and i'm watching him cook and prepare the meals his knife skills are on par with fucking selena gomez i don't know if he's having an episode where he like fidgets out but he his blades are all over the place it's this guy is a fraud first up carbonara because you know light food um second is a bib lettuce with pomegranate what

pomegranate vinaigrette bib is a fun word but if you take that away what this is is a plate of lettuce with a vinaigrette and mealy tomatoes strewn around the rim of the plate looks like food from the 1980s that was a time when um the entrees weren't really for eating they were just put on the table so that people could binge drink and do coke in a setting that was less depressing than their living room you know what i mean that's what the 80s were for um next up we've got a showstopper that is grilled chicken. So Orby says, Matt really rolled out the red carpet today. I don't know if he's used to, I don't know, tinned fish all hours of the day. But this is objectively six pots.

Objectively. It's six pots. Wow. Thank you for putting your perspective for me. Well, Dylan, someone disagrees with you well uh it's a day that ends in y uh and uh the clock is running so old captain timeshare right moves her little ass down to the galley singing the praises of old uh chef spaz because uh he's a human being that uh he has a human being that can't yet count to 10 who's a fan of his right i guess he

nailed the mac and cheese yeah sandy this little kid's uh favorite restaurant is chucky cheese uh please go fuck yourself okay so next up matt i mean the fucking hits keep coming starts a grease fire almost burns the fucking boat down um for all the shortcomings of Matt, and they are a plenty, a bounty that does not stop. I hate this man. Roy Orbison Jr. did, however, put a post on his story, a really cute picture of Matt teaching his shitty knife skills to Roy Orbison III and letting him spread the frosting on the cake. It was a nice moment.

Roy Orbison III has no stranger danger meter. he's going to learn terrible knife skills from that this kid isn't a walking grenade when i was this kid's age i tried cutting carrots because i obviously didn't have any parents looking at me right right i lopped my fucking middle finger off i'll show you the scar on uh yeah yeah yeah with a knife just like that little crumb crunch it was yeah put it away because it looks like you're flipping us off right now. And I have to go back to something. Yeah, that's okay. Curiosity kills me. Kills the cat.

Selena Gomez, are there stories about her fucking up with a knife? I want to talk about this show on another podcast show. Selena Gomez is not quite at Britney Spears neuroses, but she has a cooking show on hbo max she cannot cook she it's a fucking dumpster fire it sounds like it is such a fascinating show maybe we'll cover that instead of roni uh i'm into it because i'll tell you it sounds eerily similar to the drew barrymore show which we i need more of in my life yeah no it's a great show she did a six minute second how to get red uh red wine stains out of a table she loves getting rid of stains

it's her favorite thing and do what you love crazy things she said and you'll never work a day in your life so matt chalks the grease fire up to not knowing his range um he's a fake chef and a psycho thank god it was grapeseed oil It's the oil with one of the highest smoke points in gastronomy. Had that been anything else, those children would have perished. Olive oil? I mean, it would have been a goddamn nightmare. A goddamn nightmare. So get some backstory on Courtney.

Stop this. She gave an innocent man third degree burns in a cafe. And then we see a video of Lloyd's dad's dance moves. Any thoughts? It's a 60-pot episode. There was no footage of Lexi yelling at Matt more. We couldn't have filled that in with that. Sure.

It's a little space here. I love, though, that... I mean, I know you hate these backstories, but I will say tennis academies are far more interesting than being a shitty employee that's what you are now we don't need to hear that yes exactly is there no other fun anecdotes she would be such a bore on jeopardy um all right so i don't think she would i just mean in the anecdote segment oh that's i never watched that segment oh she'd be a horrible participant which would make her very enjoyable to watch you have to have that segment on jeopardy

but i i don't ever watch it oh you should always fast forward it's honestly i mean there's there's gems in there it's it's once every three days you're like i'm glad i saw that right right right because it's funny so got a little bit of a meanwhile here. Meanwhile. Lexi still has fury in her heart for Matt. Malia gets handed a child and Matt serves crew lunch. I don't know why the food for the sea rats is much better than the food served to the people paying $60,000 a day. food served to the people paying $60,000 a day. Roy Orbison, whichever number he

is, is getting hammered. Lexi is mad at Katie again. And then Matt, believe it or not, says that he loves cooking for kids who doesn't love making chicken tenders. I'll tell you who, Matt. Chefs. Chefs.

Chefs, though. because it's beneath them it's like asking picasso to draw stick figures i love this man saying he thrives under pressure too when it him having to cater a wedding on day's notice sent him into an absolute tailspin to the point he quit his job. He says that he's great under pressure. It's just that when he has too much time to think, that's when things get away from him. And it is under this pressure that he so thrives in that he serves a

pizza to the children that would have made Red Baron himself throw up. Can we move on? Please. The only person whose insanity matches Matt's and may far surpass his is Lexi. Do you want to talk

about the burn book? Do you want to set this up? Sure. Okay, so she enlightens Malia that she's kept a list for a number of years that started with the pageant industry because I guess that is a very ugly world to exist in. It's like going up the Da Nang. Now, when my wife was watching this with my show, she pointed out something very different. She said that Lexi, well, I was saying she's a sociopath, and I bet she's the kind of person that could kill someone and have no feelings about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my wife said, no, I think she's had probably some trauma, and she's a teenager in her head. This is very high school. Your wife is very defensive of Lexi because she is a carbon copy of Sheree. But anyways, yes, she has a burn book. What do you call it? Arrested development. Lexi essentially is a 14-year-old girl.

Right. Who's being catered to and told how pretty she is. Yeah, bought fake tits you know stuff like that but forced to practice walking turning waving constantly yes um so you know this person um if you found a stack of you know all work no play papers it would it would be very concerning and malia is rather concerned um it will set up what is to come in episode five i can't wait um so shall we get to the croatian street fiddlers they arrive to add a tapestry excuse me to add to the tapestry of a luxury yacht vacation they pull up on a rickety skiv and shit out a few songs

while the kids scream and Lexi bitches about Katie. It's a 60-pod episode. You know what I mean? And honestly, I mean, this is elegant. All they were short of is hopping on the boat and... What are you...

I was going to say they were raping everyone. Yeah. The only thing that separates them from pirates is jumping on the boat and raping the crew all right so let's get to dinner matt says that he has no former uh formal training before cooking dinner sixty thousand dollars a day um anything on the guest that wants to make love to david uh that's well it's a guest but it's the nanny the nanny yeah she just kind of says he's cute okay yeah she doesn't want to make love uh so orbison sits down for dinner orders a get ready because this is a long list double red bull vodka champagne double fernet bronca wasn't that long of a list i I was just kind of, you know, it's a lot of things before

dinner service after you've been pounding champagne all day. It's a long, it's a long list. And I will say caffeine, the ultimate enemy of the blackout drunk. It keeps you going when you are not there. Right, right, right, right. Um, at what point do you cut this person off? I know that they're paying a lot of money, but when you see someone this fucked up already and they order double vodka double fernet i mean you know fernet's a pair of teeth but we're still talking about 40 alcohol um it's just four ounces of liquor going into a zombie already to answer your question uh katie played it right uh she's not your typical chief chew when the wife says no more that's when you're you agree and she she she played the cards right everyone at this table i

you mentioned in your preference sheet i can catch it when i watch so because that's your job to tell layout who how these people know each other i thought they were all the wives friends because it was apparent to me that no one liked him here there was one guy that walked over to try to stop him from throwing himself off the side of the boat but that was it for the most part they just all sat there and looked disgusted at this imbecile right i think you because there was one couple and i believe that couple i believe tina and asa might be friends they're both swedish blondes and so the that guy doesn't like him and then there was a long time family friend derva who is supposed to be friends with Roy, but he probably just couldn't turn on.

Here's what you do. You want this pig to stop drinking. Cause believe me, he's still got his druthers with him. He can hear some things coming at him. Hey, Orby, come sit down.

Tell, uh, tell one of these, uh, stews over here, uh, what you do for a living. He'll go,

I've run a big publishing empire. And then just say, run me through your day and watch him stumble i like that idea and you bring him a very very watered down vodka soda that's right and he won't know wear him down all right um first plate i'm just how people treat me in a blackout no chicken satay with a papaya. Papaya salad is a very difficult thing to make taste okay. It requires vibrant chili, palm sugar, fish sauce. I doubt that he had any of those things, and I highly doubt that this tasted even remotely good.

They were also served a two-ounce sliver of chicken. Will you cook at home with your wife and film it a little bit for content? He did that paella one time. And it was awesome. Did I? Yeah. Really? Yep. You didn't pull it off. You burned the skillet. You burned

the bottom of the rice in the front. No, no, no. That is... You overburnt it or you overcooked it, you said. I think much like Matt, you're a little embarrassed you don't have formal training, but your passion and knowledge, it's going unmind. What is it called? What is it called? What is the burnt rice at the bottom of a pie called?

Socrates. Yes. Socrates. Socrates. Look at you. Fucking elephant mind. Holy shit. You shit you know i that is crazy that just happened he keeps talking about all the benefits of fucking his wife but you know how he learned that magic magic mind magic mind magic mind is a magical magical product um and you can get your

hands on some i mean you know in the days of y, when you had a magical elixir like this, you had to go on some grand adventure to acquire even a thimble of the stuff that is as powerful as this. But today, you can just go to magicmind.co, enter in promo code below deck, and get yourself 25% off. I mean, the list of ingredients. There's 12. Are you ready?

I am. Okay, it's like 12 of them. And they're all natural. And some of them, everybody knows the hits, matcha, other stuff. But I really want to, let's talk about cordyceps. Cordyceps are mushrooms. No, not that kind, Pat.

These mushrooms can be found in the foothills of Tibet, making them a rare find. Yeah. Although they're not easy to come across, they're incredibly powerful. I think most things that are incredibly powerful are hard to come by. So that's a little bit redundant. Copy of Magic Mind Facebook post I screenshotted. This fun guy, though, belongs to a group of plants that help regulate our bodily functions during increased stress aka aka they're also known as adaptogens i just told

you what aka meant and an adaptogen is a very fascinating uh you know raw material adaptogens are something that will adapt to whatever environment they're in you know if you need them for uh clear clairvoyant energy in the morning they in. You know, if you need them for clear, clairvoyant energy in the morning, they will provide that for you. If you need them to chill you out and calm you down at night, they will do that too.

If you need them to stiffen your pecker up so that you can make love to your wife. Well, Dylan, I'm glad you brought that up. They'll do that too. Well, let me tell you something. So my wife pounded two of these bottles down yesterday yeah and i said honey generally a once daily shot yeah i'm not doing this with you tonight sweetie you're carrying my son and she fucking threw open her fucking bra and said go to town and i was like i can't do that

i have my son in there right okay so anyway i i had a bottle uh she had two already she finished me off with a hand she wanted me to do a little uh okay so what else is there uh echinacea i know additional help me no we're we're focusing oh on cordyceps on cordyceps additionally i was wondering what all this was and this is what uh this is actually actually will this is what pat has been reaping the benefits of. It's like gillyweed. Additionally, cordyceps increase stamina and energy, aid in immune support, and can also contribute to men's reproductive health. Yeah.

Magic Mind's team of researchers, doctors, and scientists dug deep in the science of ingredients like this, plus the rest of their Magic magic mind formula in order to produce the best blend possible to elevate your overall focus and mood and that is just one of the many ingredients one of 12 that will unlock your human potential go to magicmind.com what.co enter in promo code below deck for 25 this is where i slide into home plate. You guys got to fucking do this because once we're wrapping this other season of this other show we're doing, we want them to re-sign up with us for another season. They see they're buying the whole season out and

I could use the fucking money because I got another kid on the way. So fucking go over there and buy a case of this shit. Jesus fucking Christ. Alright, so Orb is... I just want to say MagicMind.co 25% off with promo code below deck. Largest discount they've ever provided. And baby birds who listen to Bachelor Podcasts have bought more than you so far.

Please support us. Don't get shown up by them. Okay. It's embarrassing. We like this show more. We like this audience more. You are our favorite child. So Orbison is definitely running from something. so orbison is definitely running from something it's probably a lifetime of failure knowing that he doesn't deserve what he writes um and he pisses in the corner of the bathroom tells the girls to

clean it up or his friend leaf does um next dishes yeah yeah leaf did not come on he saw the signs of alcohol we've discussed maritime law many times on this show. It's like basically a supervisor is not supposed to be fucking a subordinate. But if you're on the ocean as a sea rat, go ahead. It's maritime law. We thought that, you know, monkeys were allowed to fight with blades and shit like that. But it's not quite that lean. No, no, no.

But maritime law also goes for the guests. You fucking get drunk and you piss up a fucking bathroom. We get to duct tape you to your fucking chair. Yeah. Seriously, I was like, it's unbelievable that that guy, not Leaf, said as kind of casually as he did. Hey, he just pissed in every corner of the bathroom. Can you guys clean that up? Hey, he just pissed in every corner of the bathroom.

Can you guys clean that up? It's just so weird to me that he didn't couch it with shame, embarrassment, remorse is the word I'm looking for. Jesus, these people. Apologeticness. Apologeticness. This guy's a drunk idiot. Hey, can we do a little role play? Nikki, you're going to be Roy Orby's wife.

I want you. I'm going to play Roy Orbison. You say, tell me to cool it. Who am I going to be? Nobody. Chill out. It's time to go to bed, I'm going to play Roy Orbison. You say, tell me to cool it. Who am I going to be? Nobody. Chill out. It's time to go to bed.

I'm going to be Bob Craft. Yeah, you're going to say, all right, and scene, start. Chill out. You got to go to bed. Go to bed. Go to bed.

I will take the children and half the stuff you didn't earn. Go to bed. All right. Can I get to the next? That's it. Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Divorce papers on your chair. Monday. Duck with rice noodles and sweet potatoes and tamarind is up next. The skin looks burnt, not rendered. It was a gummy and sour with mushy noodles. I know it. Four pots. The drunk wants to jump off the boat.

He will not. That is a trope of this show. A huge suspects type twist. That's it for us. We'll be back next week. Guys, iTunes ratings and reviews. Five stars. Kind words.

If you haven't done it, you've probably been listening for. I hope you haven't been listening for a while. We really need you guys to do that. Another podcast show. Go over there and listen. It's us on Shack. Go over there and listen. It's us, Unshackled, talking about everything and anything. YouTube is where you can get this for free

and more video content and audio content is available at Patreon.com slash another podcast network. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Nick, say goodbye. Bye, my boy. Pat, say goodbye. Bye. Thank you.