Another Below Deck Podcast - The Charter Guests Won a Raffle | Below Deck Reg S9 E3

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

Nick, Pat and Dylan are back to talk CVS whiskey, the land of new and beautiful meats, Lee's stack of plane tickets, culling fans, real estate rats, how this was actually kind of dangerous and much more Below Deck.  Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Sailing seasons 1 & 2 and our interview with Lexi Wilson.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork Video of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw Merch: AnotherMerchStore.com

I thought it was very interesting that Captain Lee, who has such an affinity and a hunger for asses, would bury one. Right, that's such a good point. But then I realized, just like a canine who has a surplus of bones, it's only smart to ration them out and bury some ass for later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's also a really, really good point. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm settled up next to one real nicholas davis ahoy matey pat producer the podcast is over there behind my glasses hey everybody how are you i'm doing well it's been jamming out to summer walker all day just took five milligram edible things are about to get weird i'm excited to break down this episode we had raffle winners

on the charter this evening it's so fun on friday that's true on friday i want to take mushrooms you're on edibles i have mushrooms i want to take for a recording on thursday this week oh thursday whatever either way oh you're still gonna do it weird um that should be a good episode i think it could i think it could be okay okay uh and that's the ceiling i think uh then there's something else i was going to say about below deck and i forgot okay glad to be here so public service announcements um the lexi interview is out partially on the free feed if you want to hear the entire thing go to patreon.com slash another podcast network uh go for it i was going to say something about this because there was some yeah i could tell from the throat clear that you wanted to right yeah jump in you know sometimes it's claw yeah you know sometimes you do something

with the expectation that the audience will enjoy it because you're putting a little extra effort in there it's extra content you know trying to book a guest nail her down for a day in time zoom the whole technical issue stuff and then you do it and you're like i can't wait for them to hear it and then uh you wake up the next morning and we have some angry barnacles yeah and let me say this let me say this people were not thrilled with your sycophancy we have some real nasty little barnacles unbelievably and we love them all especially the ones that are paying us but some of the ones that are paying us i mean you think that we're bad i mean people writing she's an she's a vapid cunt i can't believe you guys spoke to her like whoa it's pretty crazy hey nicky by the way i'm gonna do something i haven't

done in a while i sent you an email for some music if you don't mind pulling it up and getting it ready let me say this about the lexi interview for all of you out there that had some complaints about it for me being a suck up okay uh first off she didn't want to watch what happens which is her employer couldn't even get her to show up to answer any questions she refused she said she was going to get someone to pay her to answer questions we had her on for free that's right she refused to go on the reunion right she refused to go on the reunion and then she uh was kind of toying uh the audience with oh i'm gonna i'll uh go on if someone pays me on Cameo or some of that nonsense. Sure, sure.

So I reached out to her. I got her on the show. And let me just say this. And by the way, if you haven't listened yet or haven't paid us to do it for the full interview, it is fully worth it. She answered every single question that we asked her. Yeah, we talked about the high rise. We talked about the fraudulent PhDs and degrees and stuff. We had some crazy bombshell info about Sandy.

Sandy and working in cahoots with production. If we're playing both sides, we didn't ask her about the burn list. I fucking, I'm kicking myself for that. And we didn't ask her about her calling herself Satan. I was upset. Oh, that's right. I was mad at myself. So for all the criticism that i got today and you guys

came out looking pretty good because you actually asked the questions we're gonna treat ourselves true to our fans uh i would like to do this because i want the audience to understand that i am not a a humble person or a podcaster i am a vengeful podcaster if you catch my drift eventually opposite of humble so i want to send the message to all those slimy subclass of anthropods or uh that's it yeah it is yeah uh you guys are slimy okay and as a result your uh leader is going to make you pay for that nicky q my music public service announcement and what i say in the next minute or two is in stone. If you hear your name

and your ugly, ugly comment about my performance on that podcast, you are kicked out of the Below Deck podcast group. You are gone for good. You can never post in there again. So, Nicole Marie Finn, who said,

I only listened to the first 11 minutes of the teaser, but Pat, come on. You're a married man. We shouldn't judge people based on reality TV shows. What are we doing here then? Question mark. Well, Nicole, you're not here anymore. You've just been thrown out of the Facebook group. Get lost.

Marie, she writes, did she say she was going to leash out? Let's leave it to just uh first name oh right right dylan and nick they were great pat not so much on this one this one you're never gonna hear one again you've been thrown out of the facebook group calling andrea db patrick i do appreciate that you were trying to be kind but what happened here yeah i don't know andrea i guess we'll never find out because you've been kicked out of the Facebook group Jennifer B Stop giving this c**t a platform

Hey do you kiss your mother with that mouth Jennifer B Yeah Jennifer B and we do have to get into this show Well she's going to have a lot more time to kiss her Because she's out of the Facebook group Hashtag calling Pat kissing her ass after talking s**t about her all season Oh you got me there.

All right. I want to get onto the show, but I had five more people that I was going to throw out of this Facebook group. You guys got lucky because we ran out of time. Yeah, we did. So if you heard your name, you're an evil, evil, ugly, little, mean barnacle, and you need to go. And we probably should mention that you can hear the entirety of this interview at patreon.com such another podcast network. Judge for yourself.

And despite their horrible criticisms, I believe them to be erroneous. And it was a wonderful interview and a display of what we do. We're hot, medium, and cold porridge. Yeah, all the porridges make for great interviews with reality TV stars. Royalty. All right, let's get into the show that is going to be first up, Pots, Nots, where we give our thoughts

as well as our pots and our nots. Nick, Pat's a little out of breath. Why don't you take it away? Will do. I really enjoyed this episode even though they really kind of

hung their hat on just a couple of incidences. There was a lot of filler, so many meanwhiles where we gleaned nothing. But there was a payoff that I really enjoyed, and we're going to get to in ad nauseum. And two guys who look like the coach from the original season of Last Chance U, Coach JB. Those were the bald bastards? Yeah, they were identical, and I couldn't tell them apart and kept getting confused. from the original season of Last Chance U, Coach JB. Yeah. They looked exactly. Those were the bald bastards?

Yeah, they were identical, and I couldn't tell them apart and kept getting confused, but I enjoyed it. 81 knots. I'm going to go next. Okay. Fraser is a king. He described this perfectly. These people should not be aboard this vessel. This was a glitch in the matrix matrix and a beautiful glitch it was uh 85 pots although what did bring it down a little bit was all of lee all

over the place which legit lee was in fine form tonight i mean just yuck but also poor terry i mean poor terry someone pry her out of this life that she's living. Well, she's a drunk, too. I know she's a drunk. She looked like a gutter rat by the end of the episode. But poor Terry, 85. Too sad. All right.

We didn't touch on something here that I did, because I actually liked the episode as well, but I can't Stan Lee, and I'm going to get to him later in the episode. Oh, my God. Now that we know that Lexi pulled off, if you go listen to the episode, one of the funner things that she mentions.

Don't spoil it. All right. It's at the tail end of the episode and Lexi says something about Captain Sandy and I assume it applies to Captain Leobow. What do they know? When do they know it? Right.

And how much are they involved in? Don't. All right. Here's what I'm going to say. We're very familiar with sea rats. Those are those broken people that work on boats on water. But we're not familiar, we don't talk much about the land version of the sea rat, which is the real estate rat.

Right. Okay? These two kinds of people are extremely similar. One would argue cut from the same cloth. They both just had to take a couple tests and then they're out there ruining people's lives or ripping them off okay they uh both at least with the real estate rats that i've dealt with uh compulse impulse control issues sure you have a land rover but you can't afford to put gas in it you're not fooling anybody for a real estate rat how am i not a real estate rat impulse control jesus christ precisely and seeing these two types of rats bump heads with each other on this vessel was thoroughly enjoyable.

Yeah. I want to say something about real estate people. Yeah. My wife loves that show, Million Dollar Listing. I can't watch it because every time I pass by the TV and one of these geniuses is bragging or boasting about all the different tactics they use to move a property or sell a property i've i've only seen them do it by doing one thing reduce the price right right that doesn't take but what are you donald trump over there ruined sherman oaks a little bit more today high five all right 40 knots okay you loved it yeah okay but a lot of lee that'll be a big

discount despite it being a good episode. All right, so let's get into it. We begin the day with Captain Lee having a hernia on the elliptical. The man is not healthy. The man needs to get off the show. It's getting to the point it's pretty sad. I don't know if there's any crossover with people who watch College Game Day, but Lee Corso's been doing it for about 30 years,

and the man's starting to slur his words. I believe he had a stroke in, like, 2009, and his shtick is getting pretty hard to watch, but they keep just drugging him up and rolling him out there, and I think we may have about five, six years of Captain Lee. Let's take care of the elderly so they don't have to stretch their careers far past what is respectable. You know what I mean?

It's sad. It's very sad. You know what else is sad? Sea rats picking their own camel light butts up off the teak. That's very sad, too. But Jake wakes with his creepy mustache, and there's some awkward energy in the galley between the coworkers who are witnessing,

evidently, the pulse of Raina's craving cooch, right? It's got a beat of its own. What you're describing in Not Well, Dill, is the full-on awkwardness of now living with the same person that you told that you'd appreciate if they would put their finger in your asshole the night before. In a typical scenario, not being on a land-based situation yes you'd get up the next morning order call your uber yeah and you get the fuck out of here but now you wake up and you have to stare the person in the face that you said you'd like your prostate tickled 100 very awkward i feel

bad for sea rats uh generally pegging is like a foreign object though uh bottle or most likely is that right yeah and um how about an acrylic nail that's what uh crazy lana used to try to do to me hey come on all right that now that's tickle that just a little come hither motion right right up the old okay you're jealous man you want that don't don't judge us you've been talking about oh i hate it when she do it i'd always dread it well i just i i've we don't need to get into prostate milking right now. All I've said was that if I was gay, I'd be a bottom because I've, you know.

You haven't experienced that. Yes. We've hit orifices all the time. Well, not all the time. Right. We're married. Not all the time. Right.

But we've never had an orifice hit aside from crazy lana and her acrylics i don't need i got dragged into the muck and the mire here muck is uh apropos okay poop gross so but i was actually disappointed in jake not disappointed but like he's such a free open guy i thought he would be the guy who like cracks a joke about the awkwardness instead he was like couldn't make eye contact i was like that's not that's not a good coxman well he's drunk still yeah this is not the morning after drunk that that i like we get to a little bit later with uh him and wes all right so there's some meanwhile stuff of dancing and taking out the trash and techno and heather not knowing that she has a bubbling mutiny on her hands. But the most important thing is that we've got to get to... A Preference Sheet Meeting!

one of the worst preference meetings we may ever have and i i tried you couldn't find anything on the people on these people they most likely hid their social medias because of how embarrassed they were oh they pay you know 35 in taxes they they went to a mall and put their names in a slot and that's why they're here so why do you what do you mean they pay 35 in taxes there's no state income tax in florida oh wow we got you there i just like yeah i don't wanna you got me uh i don't wanna so i i just like to learn i was curious i'm like do I have that wrong? But I think there's- Well, it's just like 35% is what I pay. So the queen of Versailles pays 2% in taxes. That's what I was saying.

Don't get into politics. Convoluted. I don't think any of these people actually make any money or are successful at it. Based on their- The guy said he didn't have a jacuzzi. He was stunned at the jacuzzi. Act like you've been there before, you fucking hick. I wonder where the other 50 went for that raffle.

Jesus. But I did, however, find Michael Durham's real estate Facebook page, 150 likes, and I did message him with the automated, I have a question, can you help me? And still waiting for a response from Michael. Good, nice research. But Michael Durham,attle-based real estate broker with an appreciation for fine whiskey yeah he's excited maker's mark and

buffalo trace and pig whistle wait no it's this kind of yeah it's this we'll get into it it's the second highest whiskey uh uh shelf at a cvs yeahS that they pulled out. Real connoisseurs. I'm surprised they didn't have some fucking proper 12, although they wanted bourbon. Maker's Mark isn't bourbon either, is it? Yeah, they did a thing where they were like, the three that are actually bourbon,

just want a raffle, please. When Justin still had his wits about him. Michael is excited to be pampered by the crew and get wild with his friends and colleagues uh joining michael or his other broker friends justin and terry who work together and have chartered yachts before uh could have fooled us colin this is probably the most surprising a senior vp at merrill lynch okay and he's another friend of the crew uh he was the most normal one he seemed like he had it together that guy that's a pretty high paying gig right there definitely definitely uh but i just hate why are there a million vice presidents at these companies well you're vice president of different divisions yeah yeah but

still it's just to make these people like have have some sort of power. So they sit in their- It's for LinkedIn. Keep them on the wheel. Keep them on the hamster wheel. That's it. Hey, you just got me thinking, because I have all the details with this preference sheet. That guy that seems like he has it together, he's the one funding all these bad loans for all these scumbags down there in Florida.

Yeah. That makes a lot of- I feel 2008 coming back again, man. Yeah, how could you not? That makes a lot of sense. We're saying Colin seems like kind of the nice, most together guy, but but he's waiting till these guys default and then he's going to take whatever they have been able to wrangle up we're buying up debt i mean we're just creating new mechanisms for for catastrophe it's going to be a work a nuclear winter soon there's no two ways about it also

joining are sean and his fiance curtis who works at a real a real estate assistance firm would not have been if i gunned to my head i would have been like these people are not okay with homosexuality i was just thinking the same fucking thing uh so people surprised you don't judge a book by its cover but mostly but do because you'll be right most of the time oh oh what just happened was uh and go to youtube uh if you'd like to see this but pates took a sip of the newly released Bang Energy alcoholic seltzer. I mean, they're trying to kill us. And it's a complete bastardization of the Bang brand because it doesn't have caffeine nor creatine.

They're trying to kill us. It's pretty disgusting. But these Bud Light seltzers, honestly, not that much worse. I have a Celsius. I'm all confused. these bud light seltzers honestly not that much worse i have a celsius i'm all confused lots of fucking seltzer going on have water these specific northwest realtors are ready to hit it hard while enjoying michelin quality meals and the finest whiskey uh wherever the fuck they are has to offer offer uh they're big bourbon drinkers they want coffee with bourbon. They're inviting Captain Lee to a whiskey-paired multi-course dinner on the first night with Such a bad idea.

White party included. The lowest effort, low effort party you could ever put together, these people and their white party. On night number one and night number two, they went to Hawaiian Luau. Yeah. And they want to hit- Let's see if they make it and they want to hit golf balls off the side of the boat uh because they are trash even though that's something i want to do that was another confusing one i mean they literally are incapable

of getting the ball five feet in the air i mean it's just there's so much wrong about these people it was just crazy 85 and did you even see how they uh i haven't i haven't concluded it yet did you even see how he was like choked concluded it yet. Did you even see how he was like choked up on the driver? They were teeing it up by folding the AstroTurf up. That's on the crew though. But anyways, there's a lot wrong with what's going on. And that

concludes the preference sheet meeting. Nice. How many pots you give it? 85 was right, even though it was a little bigger. Yeah. I. Yeah. I think 85. And that's all within context of what I had to work with, because it wasn't much. Hey, did you spot the cells on the table?

I did it. Rach was sucking down on his cells. Celsius? Yeah. What in God's name do you have up right here? We do finally get to some of that morning after revelry. Right. With Wes and Jake talking about some of the shenanigans they pulled last night.

I've often talked about how much I love that after a night of partying with your boys, a big group of people, and there's just like fun to be had the next morning. Maybe you're cracking a few beers. What's that saying, guys? Nick, why do you have a video of a school shooter up on the TV? Maybe like what I was saying there is going to lead into it. We were like, we're riffing. I was going to get to the video. Yeah, people get it.

You have beers. You talked about the night before. Why is the school shooter on the TV? It's not a school shooter. It's my friend Jordan Hanson. Okay. And this particular video that we're about to watch is 42 seconds long. This actually, this is the epicenter of the Smiley Face Killer where I was almost attacked in Eau Claire, Wisconsin on a different weekend when we got drunk.

And this was the morning. Just some fun shenanigans we had. Okay. I'm hungover. That's you, Mickey? Yep. Nick got smacked in the face with a dildo. And they threw it at him.

Oh, my God. It's a very young Nick. She's the most Wisconsin shit I've ever seen. I threw the dildo on the street, and it landed straight up in the air. Oh, my God. Bad camera work. But did you see me get smacked in the face with a dildo? You see all those Wisconsin guys?

The problem I had with the video was when you got hit with a dildo, slapped in the face twice, you had no reaction, almost as though you felt you deserved it or you were accustomed to that kind of physical abuse. It's Sunday scaries, bro. mean i like it was a lot on the mind all the times huh yeah and my problem with the video and i mean no offense but

that you showed it at all you know because at the end of the day who gives a fuck that's a that's a about you and your friends sitting on a ratty fucking porch in wisconsin like hicks talking about fucking dildos and Bud Lights. I mean, we're here to talk about Below Deck, and you played this video of a school shooter hitting you in the face with a dildo. Who gives a fuck? I thought it was fun. All right, so let's move on.

Holy shit. So we once again get to the tad bit of bitterness that Rachel has held throughout the early part of this season. I love Rachel, but this is extremely confusing to me. We've talked about it. She staged a hostile takeover of a reggae cover band and then started screaming about dirty ass shit in front of families. It's okay for Eddie to find that unbecoming. Well, what's interesting about their interaction is the cooter trooper herself use some kind of Jedi mind track mind tricks to get him to apologize for calling her out on her obvious love of the bottle.

Right. And abuse severe abuse of alcohol. Yeah. I was actually like pretty impressed with Eddie here. Yeah. Had she came at me like that, I wouldn't have apologized. I would have been like,

listen here, you drunk wench. Right right I have zero problem with you professionally but the issue was anytime we attempted to go out socially you turn into an absolute sea hag so far as said it ease into a microphone with children present so yes I am sincerely sorry for not bringing your bringing to your attention what an embarrassment you were every single time we went out in public. Are we cool? Are we cool now? Yeah, Sea Hag is so great. It's the Riachu to the Pikachu, the Sea Rat.

Anyways, millennial. Can I do a couple of meanwhiles that you skipped over? Oh, good. I'm glad you skipped over. Reyna and Frasier catch up to make sure no one killed anybody the night before. On the count of they were both blackout. Yes, yes, yes.

I love this moment between Raina and Frazier. They became fast friends, this little odd couple. And actually, Raina and Jake joined Andy in his clubhouse to help dish the 411 on WWHL. And honestly, when I was watching it, I thought I was shopping for sunglasses at Warby Parker because there was so much shade right but then I was like wait a second no I must be at a bodybuilding competition because there was also so much tea oh oh tea like testosterone yeah okay I've been that's why I was just waiting all day for that one yeah yeah nice but no honestly there was some good stuff there like uh yeah uh Frazier was asked like what, what Heather could have done to be a better boss? And he was like, any work.

Holy shit. Nice. And then he also, like, he had been in his OTF saying, boatmances never work. But that doesn't mean he hasn't been in a few that ended really ugly frazier's my number one list to have on here maybe we'll start working love frazier i think we'd get along i think we'd be fast friends but another interesting thing about this reina frazier interaction is because they they they know not yet that they are in competition with one another it's a good point they are going to become enemies or even more

best friends in a throuple. Oh, because they're going after the same fella. Yes, yes, yes. So, Rachel and Eddie, I guess, you know, they bury the hatchet. At times, Rachel looks at Eddie like she wants to take said hatchet and spill his blood with it.

At the end of the day, she doesn't have to flip any tables over and she doesn't have to eat anyone's larynx. Let's go fuck this charter in the face. If the show is 50 times better with her in it. Here's what Rachel has. She has authentic, undeniable talent. She is the NFL tight end that scores lots of touchdowns for the team, but also in their off time like to punch their girlfriend and get it filmed on an elevator.

But we can't stop allowing her to play because she's so good. I think a better analogy is Aaron Rodgers. I think that's a really, really bad analogy. Really bad analogy. When you're good at what you do, you can say anything is my point. When you're Aaron Rodgers, you can lie to the media and say you were vaxxed and not be uh all right hero so um we say this early had to get that one in there didn't you nicky um so we say this early on before the lord of the flies effect starts to take effect later in the season but right now i

love the makeup of this crew they They're a lot of fun. They're going to fucking love and hate, and I'm just really excited for the rest of the season. Really, really am. Well, me, I'm hoping that Jess kind of starts to poke her head out of that. They got her down in the bottom of the boat. Reminded me of that movie Waterworld

with the old guy that they just check on every once in a while to see how much oil is in the Exxon Valdez ship. She stays down there. We don't get enough of her. Well, despite her being in solitary confinement, check on every once in a while to see how much oil is in the exxon valdez yeah yeah she stays down there we don't get enough of her well despite her being in solitary confinement we do get a little glimpse into her life and that is when jess rings her mother this is a very interesting dynamic susan is a renaissance woman she is jessica's mother she is a drinker she's a gambler a chain smoker a mort, and a huge fucking bully.

She's really reaming her daughter for those PJs. You forgot online gambler, so she's a triple threat. Well, no, I said gambler, but not online. Online is a sad coloring. And I think that's a great point. I was imagining her on a cruise, but I think you're right. I think it was even sadder. She was alone smoking cigarettes inside.

The glow of her computer and no lights on it she had the ciggy voice the only way to play online poker is to do it through a book now right what uh what do you mean like play online poker with real money you have to do it through like a bookie no no you can do there's a little secret uh i know someone that's doing this it's all the computer stuff is on like an island in the caribbean and you're going through a server got it got it well that's dangerous don't let me find out about it america's card america's card room dude acr okay next day next day uh some morning tasks and then we get to the ramblings of a madman to his crew lee says that if you're looking for or he you know he gathers

everybody because we've got the the charter guest coming on a little bit later so he has the time to set everybody down and you know tell them to not embarrass the boat and whatnot um he says that if you're looking for your radio i likely have it like the musings of an old fucking prankster like stop taking everybody's radio. Or someone's starting to lose their mind. When we put my Grammy Betty in that old home, you know. She tried to fuck you. No, well, she said, who's this handsome guy when I showed up?

And she meant it. Right, right, right. She didn't know who I was. She was also, we got called by the people that ran the place. She said she keeps going on all her people on the same floor and they're stealing all their dollies. She's hiding them under her bed that had me think of lee i love betty oh my god is she still with us no oh my god my great grandma also uh suffered from alzheimer's and was in a home and often would go on these wild rants about stuff going missing and people are stealing and

we were like oh the alz Alzheimer's is eating her away. But maybe she was in the same home as Betty. Yeah, it was 100% Betty. Also, they're seeing different dimensions than we are. Oh, yeah. That's why they call it dementia. Yeah. So Lee also says that he will bury their ass.

And then he gets to his classics, anthropomorphizing the boat and boasting about all the plane tickets that he has, which can't exist. That's not how this works. Does he have blank check airline tickets? Like he just writes? If I was there, I would have raised my hand. I said, can I see him? No, you decide you're going to fire somebody and you book a flight.

This is where I attack Lee. Pan Am does not exist anymore. This is why I hate Lee. All right. So just one thing. just sorry, sidebar. He gets so serious. Ask me, you're a dinner guest, ask me what my wife does for a living. Oh my

God, I'm Bob Craft. Hey, Pat, so what's No, Captain Lee, I'm Captain Lee. You're so bad at improv. Hey, Captain Lee, what's the old wife doing nowadays? Nothing. You're bad than prof too no that's what he said he

the man can't well get there we're gonna get there hold on a minute but I want to say this about him this whole shtick that he's doing

especially since one last tease go over to patreon.com slash another podcast network and hear Lexi call out the people that have been on this show for as long as Lee

and Sandy have been on. Gatekeepers. These people are cool. You're watching us real. Lee still sucks. Yeah. Still sucks at what he does despite being fully aware of what's going on in the boat 24-7. It's disgusting.

I thought it was very interesting that Captain Lee, who has such an affinity and a hunger for asses, would bury one. Right. That's such a good point. But then I realized, just like a canine who has a surplus of bones, it's only smart to ration them out and bury some ass for later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's also a really, really good point. Hey, let me talk about Lee, too.

Just one last note. He acknowledges that this is the thing that he loves you know on the open sea and driving this boat i think he said that at the beginning of the episode lee all your behavior would give us the impression that you actually hate what you do because you're a mean old bastard can i move on please meanwhile meanwhile looks like eddie doesn't want to be on this show anymore we've got this wrinkle where he is champing at the bit to get off the deck and go below deck I don't know if this means that he is not on the show I don't know if he doesn't care

to be in front of cameras anymore but you know it's interesting I'm excited that's never happened before and that is not going to happen you think he's interesting i'm excited that's never happened before and that is not gonna happen you think he's still gonna be on the show oh yeah all right um the mutiny continues heather speaks to her crew frazier says that he lacks confidence in heather as a leader and heather reminds jessica of her bitch grandmother micromanager marion i was confident that she hates her grandmother yeah it sounded it sounded like it. She called her a bitch. Jessica is one of the most dead inside people

we've ever had on this show. She could either be dead inside or she could be like a Sufi level zen. I don't know. I think she's dead inside and there was a time in her 20s when she was this young, vibrant, probably really hot.

She dolled herself up. She was traveling all over the world. She fell in love with some guy. She lived on a boat. And then she damned herself to a lifetime of being in a laundry room. It's insane. It's insane. It's sad.

It's sad. She fell down. All right. So let's get to the guests swaddling aboard uh two thumbs and all of their friends hop on to my sienna the one thumb is really excited about being on camera and is not himself he's just he's i don't think that you know him in normal life would be any better of a human being but he's definitely peacocking here um he yells that he's going to be blacked out soon and points to the place where he's going to be blacked out he threatens kicking terry down a flight of stairs he's saying that

he'll do whatever the fuck he wants and he's saying that he has two bathrooms one to shit in and one did not shit in this man is classy tight yeah they really set off the red flags of how this was gonna go for the rest of the trip i enjoyed it hey uh you know so the guests are obviously drunk now heather they cut to her her being you know a chief stew with lots of experience she said i'm fucking happy they're drunk because it means they'll be passed out before dinner she doesn't understand real alcohol okay now i thought you were going to take umbridge with her uh lack of work i think no i like that okay good because kate has said that a thousand times and they're right most of the time but these are bad guys

from spy kids these guys are true blackout white trash pieces of shit. Oh, like zombies. They'll be walking around. They'll drink for 14 hours. Now Pat's booking guests. I still, I don't do it. I don't do it. Can we please talk to one of these? Nikki said their social is all turned off. You reached out.

You said, I have a question. Do you have an answer? Yeah, I have a question. Can you help me? Does that work all the time? Because it sounds like you're trying to rob people. Well, it's like on Facebook, you can do automated messaging setup. So I had the option to click on two different things.

I could have typed my own out, but I want him to think I'm some Florida trash that he's like, oh, my God, I'm going to sell a house. Oh, got it, got it. And then I want to nail him to the wall. But the queen of the sea doesn't leave stuff to chance. She knows they're going to drink all day and may pass out early, but I have no doubt she's dropped a little something in their drink to make sure they... You're saying that Kate date rapes people, but not really.

Without the dating or the raping. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And Heather's too green to drug the turner guest. One quick story. I've never been shut down at a bar for drinking too much like they basically say you can't serve you anymore except for once on my honeymoon i was up in napa honeymoon huh yeah we actually recorded the day before i got married and then i went and did a stupid podcast with you two right and the next morning the wife and i got

i'm so sorry that sounds like you're putting blame on us for getting thrown out of a winery in napa california no no no so i i know i go up to it i go up to a bar i'd been drinking all day probably for six hours and we eat something and i and i said i'll take another of that red and he says no more yeah and i got indignant yeah shocking uh but i go back to the to the hotel you're right i kill two more bottles by the pool, have a nice conversation at the hotel bar, and the wife said, what would you like to do now? And I said, I want to go back to that bar. Oh.

Just to prove myself. And? Oh, I went back there, but he wasn't working anymore. That was a real disappointment. The only way that story could have ended was anticlimactically, but it is hilarious that you were like, I want to go back to that bummer. I wanted to show him.

And I just want to clarify, when I said not shocked or whatever I said when you said you were indignant, not because you become indignant with employees a lot, but because it's your wedding and they cut you, or your honeymoon, they cut you off. That's why I was mad. You're not going to let that slide. You can handle your alcohol.

You know who can't? These charter guests. I don't know. You're not going to let that slide. You can handle your alcohol. You know who can't? These charter guests. I don't know. They were up until 2 in the morning. So dinner is going to be a whiskey white party, as we mentioned. The most low effort of low effort themed parties. They're going to have Shiva's, Knob Creek, Woodford, Reserve, Maker's Mark, and one

more. There is no Pappy Van Winkle on board. There is no real nice whiskey on board all of this is as we mentioned second level shit at bevmo uh so these are i again they won a raffle um so the the dinner is going to be thai and we get a hilarious moment from Rachel. Her stories of her time in the Orient are those of a Vietnam vet. You know, I saw a man on Calson Road. He had this meat that he said I'd never had before. I didn't know if it was a man or woman, but I had enough Thai whiskey in me to not care.

These stories are just they're unbelievable. She made she said, I met this really dodgy guy in the street and she had like this long pause and i was ready i thought she was gonna be like and i married her yeah like i i did not know where it was going but she woke up with fire snakes which i didn't know i didn't know if that was an std a dish or an actual animal it's a bowel movement it's a type of bowel move oh interesting, interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So do you guys want to talk about Jake getting the lead deckhand position? Just that before they actually bring him up,

Captain Lee and Eddie have their second discussion about it. And Captain Lee loves sitting like a villain in a chair, looking off in the distance, and having Eddie, his number two, give him the scuttlebutt of what's going on. Eddie's Iago. Yes. Captain Lee's Jafar.

Yeah. I'm going to look for more examples, but it's like, he doesn't look at Eddie. He sits in a chair and he looks off in the distance. Dr. Lee is Dr. No and Eddie's oddball. I didn't like, I hope I got that right.

I didn't like this at all. I, and by the way, of course, Lee could not help himself, but to also threaten Eddie, I hope this like that. Right. I didn't like this at all. And by the way, of course, Lee could not help himself, but to also threaten Eddie. I hope this works out. I was so regret. Yeah.

I thought you liked Eddie. Eddie's a good guy. Right. And by the way, forgive me, but I have no. I have more reverence for the guy who gets promoted to come mopper at the adult section. Okay. Okay. I mean, it's just too much.

Mopper. When we were talking. I don't think you get promoted to that. Okay. It's just too much. Calm the mopper. I don't think you get promoted to that. I think that's pretty entry level. If you work hard enough, you're going to be mop and cum in a year. Such a terrible incentive. Oh my God. When we were talking about Eddie earlier and, like,

why are they showing this progression of him trying to be on TV less, I really think it's all just to build the narrative so we can one day see him become a captain on this program. He's taking the same trajectory as Malia. They're going to be the spinoff captain. I hate the whole welcome it eddie's like pointing jake's like dude are you ready to fucking kill it at the wine picnic tomorrow all right bro yeah it's like ah so the guy in a jake is like i'd rather mop jizz off at an adult shop

all right we do need younger captains on these shows so they could possibly uh take part in the sucking and fucking and lose their position exactly added wrinkle um all right so let's move on uh grumpy fat boy what's up justin just uh just speaking of the uh spinoffs um and this could not be real i i think i saw it on like one of those just like someone in their basement made like a gossip site about reality tv and they just make shit up but i'm pretty sure leon is gonna be on the chef on one of these spinoffs yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so beef cheeks are back. Get ready for that. Hardcore below deck fans.

And that'll be on our Patreon.com. That's another podcast network. All right, so Grumpy Fat Boy is starting to get pretty ornery. He has the energy of like a frustrated kid with ADHD. He's a real estate rat. It's when he's freaking out about getting changed for dinner. He's like, I'm actually not going to change because I don't feel like it. Okay. Drink two more gallons of bourbon, you piece of shit. They are

absolutely fucking gone by the time they get to dinner. Have we not mentioned the thermos yet? No. He's been drinking his whiskey out of a coffee thermos. I mean, it's a detail we should know. A hundred percent. It reminds me of my uncle hub. So Lee sits down for dinner and it's the first time I've actually felt bad for Lee. He was contractually obligated to show up to this.

I shouldn't say the first time we did feel very bad for him for the real life trauma that him and his family suffered through. But but tonight, kind of comically, he does have to bear witness to all of this sad stuff at the table. They're talking about where Terry went to college. Justin says you went to college. You wouldn't know that from your mouth. And I'm starting to get very confused about the dynamic of this group because like we said we did not think that more fat one and more drunk one I think it was Michael and Justin we did not think that they were tolerant towards homosexuals Terry is not married or dating either one of them the two gay guys seem normal well put together and that they hate justin so i was just like what is

what is this group of people the here's the answer the charter asked michael michael burnham he doesn't have any friends so these are the last pages of his rolodex he's like hey terry she's drunk trash she'll she'll want to come on yeah and the the gay couple was like we don't have to talk to those those other trash we'll use this as a nice little getaway for ourselves exactly and that's how this group of real estate expendables came together i kind of think that you're right on there um so you have the thumbs they're both drunk um i assume they're related um the two bald bastards yeah i kind of think that they're brothers or something anyways the food is delicious um wasted by the way wasted it's from the belly of the beast it's from the jungle where rachel learned the way the world works

it's got lemongrass galango coconut it's 90 pots but the important thing is that the dinner is pretty much as we said a bust justin is drinking out of the thermos he's asking for tequila during a whiskey tasting and this sets curtis off rightly so he's had it he heads down to or justin leaves the table he heads down to gaze at the water while the rest of dinner is served um rachel's food is almost like it sucks covering it because it's not bad enough to be funny it's just really good food you know but sometimes i just like how you describe the good food sure i mean we've got tomca i think we've got georgia 1855 filet something like that i cooked a little black and blue for my taste but i did not know meat held that long yeah it does uh yeah this is aged for uh 170 years um so 166 okay rain man michael is ruining

this entire meal and i understand lee being annoyed but also lee is not the kind of guy who is charismatic enough or really understands his role well enough to soften this experience like you said when they asked what his wife did nothing he says nothing and then you know there's a standard old basic you know chauvinist kind of razz like oh what are you what was it so so oh she's put up with your ass long enough. Laugh. Yeah. Laugh. I know they're annoying and drunk, but don't wipe your mouth as though he just said something horrible about your wife.

Yeah, that's good small talk right there. Secure the tip, Lee. What are you doing? Dance. Oh, good point. Because he takes himself too seriously. I'm a captain, God damn it. Like, he really, he's really embraced all this.

Out of all those people, I don't know how Kate takes him seriously and they interact with one another. They love each other. Because she knows how to secure the bag. That's probably true. But he takes himself too seriously, and he's just an idiot. Oh, man. Okay.

All right. So, Justin, the Petulantant big toe demands that his dinner is served to him on the smoke platform away from everyone else and this is one of those things where i've done this before i'm sure especially when alcohol's involved you get a little dramatic you get a little melodramatic and you you walk down this plank of melodrama and then you go too far. Yes. And you have to commit to the act that you want to drop, but you can't go up and just sit down at dinner. You have to continue to be a petulant, oversized child and have people bring you food where the boats are parked.

And despite a BAC that would make Henry Ruggs blush. Yeah. You know, there's a kernel in the back of your head like, I'm embarrassing myself right now, but I can't stop myself. Point of no return. We're not going back there. All right. So he has to sit in this now, and sit in it he will.

Anything with Wes, whiskey, and fighting with a Jeep. I thought this was a charming moment for Wes. Moving on. So Lee heads down to... Just, I love Wes. I want more Wes. His body won't quit. Give me more Wes.

Give me more Wes. Everybody wants more Wes. So Lee heads down to speak to his crew. Flames Terry first. Misogyny much? She was doing her best. She was a gutter rat. She was drunk, but she was doing her best she was a gutter rat and she was drunk but she was doing her best you

know she wasn't like as toxic as the other two guys were and the first thing he comes downstairs he's like she asked me where where i was from five times what about the the guy that got up from the table and the other guy was just burping in your face i do think think when Terry was corrected by either Curtis or his lovely partner. I love the way that he did it too. Yeah. I love you, but you're repeating yourself, babe. She had that dead, drunken look in her eye, and there was a turn, and it was war from that point on.

Oh, my God, was it? They lean over the banister, and it's at this point i guess not this point maybe it was the second they walked on the boat but it's at this point we can confirm that these people are full-blown trash the worst part i thought at this point was the the worst part is when he tells her to unpack it further she's saying how what is your problem you didn't even come to dinner and he goes why don't you unpack that the clothes are out of the suitcase idiot it's a very very easy thing to break down you didn't go to dinner you were rude he was he went into full psychotic there's a lot of hyperbole aboard uh these boats like i need to know about that

bruise this could be very dangerous stuff like that but when eddie says this can get a little dangerous he's a hundred percent right a hundred percent right i i thought before they really when he was at doing the unpack stuff and they're sitting there like weirdly trying i didn't know the dynamic still at this point. It sounded to me like a couple who had been in marriage counseling. And they're like, no. And it wasn't taking. Yeah, unpack this.

It was like terms he learned within the counseling. But no, these people have no relationship other than probably thinking they were going to have some weird sex on this vacation. I think Fraser summed it up to end the episode. He said he believes they didn't pay for this trip, but won it, and probably for most sales in the region. Honestly, one of my favorite lines in the history of the show. We've been watching it for a long time, and it's so funny.

But yeah, when this guy started demanding that Heather come here, But yeah, when this guy started demanding that Heather come here, walk it. I mean, this was I'm excited to see so often. And this will be anticlimactic, of course. But so often do I already know that I don't want to see what happens after this. This I'm really excited for next week. But this is why, I mean, mean honestly we cover this show like i'm i'm invested i feel like i'm watching the first season of lost i have to see the next episode of course we do and we will be covering it next week um join us then if you want to listen to the lexi

episode go to patreon.com slash another podcast network youtube search another below deck podcast subscribe and mix it up there. And jump in the reviews. Leave five stars to please combat some of the insanity that is happening there. We have no recourse other than your generosity. Especially the avalanche of one stars we're going to get for repeatedly calling these trash, trash. Somebody's got to do it, and it's us. I'm Dylan saying goodbye.

Nick, say goodbye. Bon goodbye. Nick, say goodbye. Bon voyage. Matt, say goodbye. Later. Love