Kill James Bond! - The Dangerous Captain Jason | Below Deck Down Under S1 E2

Episode Date: July 13, 2022

Nick, Pat and Dylan are back with their buddy Gabby who fell asleep last time she was supposed to come on in person, in person, to talk about the dangers of thrill seeking, the philosophy of a stunt cook who throws batteries at MLB stars, the cost of snorkeling, and even more Below Deck Down Unda.  The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!  Support our sponsors:  Magic Mind: Visit https://MagicMind.co and use promo code “Jason” for 20% off.  Apostrophe: Save fifteen dollars off your first visit with an Apostrophe provider at Apostrophe.com/BELOWDECK and use promo code BELOWDECK  Green Chef: Go to https://GreenChef.com/belowdeck135 and use code belowdeck135 to get $135 off across five boxes—and your first box ships free!  Rothy's: Get $20 off your first purchase at https://rothys.com/BELOWDECK Athletic Greens: Visit https://athleticgreens.com/BELOWDECK for FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase  Betterhelp: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://Betterhelp.com/BelowDeck   Dame: BELOWDECK to take 15% off your first order at https://dameproducts.com  Follow our audio versions of Another Below Deck Podcast Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/another-below-deck-podcast/id1216741721 ?Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1rmalsUw5vtXAXWo6RwsRx?si=8hzGWOciRJ6A9UKUpDV8CA&dl_branch=1 Check out our merch! https://anothermerchstore.com We also cover Bachelor Nation very week on Another Bachelor Podcast https://bit.ly/AnotherBachelorPodcast_YouTubeThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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available through December 24th. Save now, only at BJ's. How many episodes are we gonna- over under five, we see this news clip. By the way, I have to say, his good looks definitely shaped. The heroism? Yes. What do you call it? The narrative.

Yes. If he was a fucking pig, they'd be like, this guy almost killed a bunch of people. Holy shit, he's good looking. Hey, get over here. I know. If he has a proofful, anche-looking motherfucker, they'd have him thrown in prison.

That weird-looking guy who filled in for captain leave oh yeah that guy would be in solitary confinement well they would have made up a story cnm would have made up a story of him like he left the boat he actually called before it crashed right Hi, hello and welcome to another brand spanking new episode of the another podcast network presents a Patreon exclusive recap of the loading day on and episode two. Joining us this evening is one real necklace Davis. Oh, Amy T's. Also joining us this evening is one Gabriella Baragon. Hola, Catal. And also joining us this evening is Patrik. Permission to come aboard. Permission granted. So we got a...

I don't know. Should we... I don't want to call it clearing the air because I think it's a great week. Permission to come aboard. Permission granted. So we got a... I don't know. Should we, I don't want to call it clearing the air because I think the hatch it's buried but fans of the show will know that we've had a bit of a feud with Gabby in weeks past because of that one time that she just fell asleep on us.

I almost fell asleep again tonight. So you're welcome. I'm here. You can feel for you. That's that cockiness that we love to see and Gabby had a butter gun. And you can welcome. I'm here. You can feel that's that cockiness that we love to see and got me out of a buttergun. And you can feel free to pull that. Pull that you don't you don't leave words it leads towards you. I did look how. Oh, there you go. Yeah, I know look out. This is also on video. Brian's going to

have fun with that. Okay, guys, so we have got to just check in with you. Say how you doing. Say, hey, yeah, so we have got to just check in with you say how you doing say hey Yeah, so we're gonna catch up with Gabby and her journey thus far on the show and then we were we had this little Tug of War with Bravo PR they said oh you want to openly talk about the Few that you've been having with Bravo? No, no, no, we're getting on swimmingly, but the problem is is we want to have Gabby on Gabby Want to come on she's in town today. She was doing her OTFs. What do you call those things? Were you talking in front of a green screen in the moments pickups pickups? Okay, so she's like, hey You know talking head come on and then so I talked to Bravo and they said what do you want to do?

And I said what we want to have her recap the show we want to do our own version of galley talk You know we have people on from the night. Can I interject? Sure So we remember we remember wow, I have a speech impediment. Remember when you guys interviewed me via Zoom, how shitty the footage was. Yeah, it wasn't funny. And the connection and the crib. Yeah, right, my eyes don't work as well.

I was like, no, this is not gonna work unless I'm in the studio with these boys. Yeah. And this is the only time I can do this because who knows when I'll be back right it might be six weeks from now It might be never who knows it's an open tour though. Yeah, you're a sea rat. We have no idea where you're gonna be at any given mom Nor do you know, or do you absolutely and I agree though It's much better to have you in here I felt like our last interview where we just wanted to joke in the beginning and then squash the beef was more contentious because the weird zoom delay

and our jokes were landing. Yep. And then when you were about to hung up, you were like, what the fuck was that? You were just like simple chalk. Why did I do that? Yeah. I literally was being simple chalk when I was like, don't take me for granted, made a mistake. But I got over it once you show me a best second. So I don't rehash it. I'm just saying, Dylan's presence, and his feeling, his pretentiousness in person feels more better. More better? Yep.iousness in person feels more better,

more better? Yep. Yeah. Much better in person. Thank you. You're welcome. It's better to have you in person too. You know, still very upset.

It's extremely upset. But we're gonna try and get past it though, right? We're gonna do our best. We're gonna try. So what we're gonna do tonight is we're going to, we can do this. We're gonna break Dan is we're going to we can do this we'll get we're gonna break down Episode two of Dananda you should do the entire podcast

It's the look at Dylan nature Hiltette being Jewish with his fucking running shoes Only they will nice that I can do is Australia, but I'm not gonna do it the entire season. Well, you know, pick our spots. But what we're gonna do tonight is breakdown episode two in earnest. We also have Gabby here to provide C-Ret insights into how the whole thing is going about.

We're on sailing right now. Gabby has more experience on a motor yacht. She is perfectly poised to help us with the contextual breakdown of Bravo's below deck. Dananda episode 2. Dananda. So let's start. Great hosting.

I swear to God, if this has CBD or THC in it, I will literally run all of your lives. It is not laced with anything. It is gummy drop. I don't trust men. Alright, so, um, guys, I was gonna say, I don't trust Sea Rats, but that was not. You shouldn't. They're all terrible.

We know that. I didn't need to say it, that's why. All right, we have to get into our fan favorite segment, thoughts and knots, that's where you speak of the show generally in a side of rating system. You guys talk about it, the way you normally talk about it, I'm just gonna to be here to laugh.

Yeah, okay. A hundred percent. And we go on tangent, so that's when you can really shine. Yes, I do. Are you going to give knots, though? I can't. Okay. Pat.

All right. Ryan is wonderful. How many knots do you give it? Hold on, I've got to give my thoughts first, though, and that's the name of the segment. Ryan is wonderful. And by wonderful, I mean he's a sociopath. Yeah. And one of the more telltale signs of a sociopath is they fly that they understand.

That too. You probably scanned rabbits on your child. Oh, he definitely did that. And then you see him play it off like, oh, that's what our family did. And Philly. Oops, I don't think. Now Dylan, I know you're going to have a lot to say about Ryan in this episode, but it's undeniable. Hands! That this sociopath feels like he understands human beings. He thinks he's so smart.

Yeah. That he's always five steps beyond them. And the true delusional's, and I'm guilty of this sometimes too, is taking their personal experience and applying it to everything in life. So what he knows is the scum that frequents STK. Right. Now what he is going to do is apply that philosophy to every single person that walks on board until he gets fired. But your thoughts, your pause. Well, Dylan.

That's right from Philly. That is until a TikToker group doesn't show up and someone with some real and actual palette. Right. But thus far. That's what, though. What's, it should be infuriating you, is that he's five out of five this motherfucker. Ah, Dellette. We'll talk about it. All right, well, he's fun. I'm liking it, so I don't enjoy it as much as Yawning, I'll tell you that, Gabby.

But it's pretty fun. I really love chefs that are so obsessed with themselves that they just say fuck everyone and do what the fuck they want. Yeah, you like that. Yes, I love it. But you have to be good at cooking though to do that. Ryan is not good at cooking. He flipped pies for many years and then worked as well.

Oh, got it. Sorry. I have many pots, 60. Nick, first of all, I want to give Pat's rating systems tonight at one out of five. Yeah, where are they're all over the Five out of five I give you a D minor. No, he's five meals. He's served for this particular charter and the fucking Instagram horrors are eating it up literally they love it. You're referring to the guys. Yeah, Instagram. Aren't you like 40? I'm not on Instagram.

Pat is slowly becoming a social media savant. Uh, yeah. He's very good with Facebook. I'll tell you that. And he's very good with Facebook. He just picks up on things so quickly. Like we just learn how to see if a message on IG has been read. Right.

And next, we will. I got my first tweet out last month. Yeah. The next thing we'll do is. Which changed the course of one of the most popular reality TV shows of all time Yeah, man do these stones have ripples Okay, that's a not a not and not god damn it This is what we do this is what we do it sounds like it's a little stilts and sometimes and then you listen back

It's like wow, we just know how to just kind of weave a web. It sounds better than a day. I didn't like Ion as weave in the reunion. You have a weave? That's your hair. How do you know? I can tell. You can't tell. I can't. You have no fucking idea. That's her hair. But I absolutely do. No, you don't. I can't. Yeah, I do. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. Oh my god. I'm so excited to play this. We have to play this. If anyone knows his pet, he's the only one dating a black woman. Well, he's married. You have no fucking clue. I can see a bad weave and I can see definite real.

Can you see a weave though? Right. Yeah. Just a weave. It's I'm excited to play the game. We're gonna play the game. Yeah, let's play the game. I Tomorrow we for no we've another pot we for no we but we or do not believe yeah exactly I don't thank you Gabby. That's so great. That was great Oh, we have a no boy now get out. That's my lane the fun But not this episode this this season it's gonna be fun but it seems a little bit more scripted than some of the other seasons which may be fine because we're getting some redundancy and some story lines and two of the the stewardesses winding the fuck the captain. That's a new one.

That's gonna be exciting. And don't forget the captain being completely fucking down with it. What a stud. What a stud You But he's like I'm watching oh my god, I'm like touching myself Gabby This no one has signed up for the flight of the next year do not touch yourself and also we're in the middle of next Pots right now oops. I Have taken a long time and invited Tangents. So some of this is on me.

But I think the episode was good, but they keep teasing us with their first night out in the possible balls, Nick. I don't like this, this methadone drip they're giving us, nonetheless it was a decent 72-pop. Here is where I'm going to pick the ball up or the baton and keep running. A lot.

Guys, the main problem that I have with this season, and again, we're only in episode two, so this could change, but two things that Nick brought up. One, maybe I wouldn't go so far as to say scripted, but definitely, comedia del Andy. I mean, it's very yachting has, it's a dysfunctional family. There's a tightness. It feels less insert here than this season does.

And also I'm very concerned about the lack of ball of snakes because there is just no sexual chemistry between any of the sea rats outside of up the hierarchical ladder. Jason is a sadistic love addict but I don't think he's gonna be fucking the crew but if that does my god what a fucking rookie mistake you had to turn on notifications because we had to get you here in an Uber because you don't have an Apple watch you have an actual watch so But no one can read, including you.

Gabby, are there ever charters where it's the mandate for management is that there's no hooking up? It's the only kind of jewelry I can wear. It looks nice. Well, it does look nice, but you know bullshit. You cannot hook up with your crewmates. You cannot, especially HODs, set of departments. But is there ever a mandate that says that like by sea law?

I am your contract when you sign it. There are things just like when you work at a restaurant or for Uber. Obviously written on invisible link. I've seen you see that. Was it lived or Uber? I Ubered, I Ubered. Okay, so like there's a thing that says in your contract

like fraternization, just like the military, is just frowned upon and like not okay. Gotcha. You all sign it. You're like, okay, I'm getting paid this much. I'm gonna work on this. Yeah, I'm not gonna fuck anyone, it's all good. But then.

But then, you gotta hot-capped it. And you're like, oh my god. He's so hot. Hot captain. But what makes it weird is that like just. Dylan. What's your name? Dillon.

So what Felicia was building on is that like it's a very intimate setting. So we have to iron their underwear. We have to clean. See the shits, don't they? No, it's not the shits, don't you know what gets me is that when They're underwear right we have to see the shit stains No, it's not the shit stains. You know what gets me is that when I'm cleaning my captains cabin And I can it's apparent that they can't even make it in the toilet. Yeah, buddy. Oh the piss. Well that'd be a turnoff Wouldn't it? Absolutely, but actually that's what I'm going with you could be reading your Sherlock Holmes clues wrong Maybe it's such a powerful stream

and large urethra that the glass was coming out on the rim of the bowl. Which is often no app, but it's not. Well, then I can go to Mean Girls and say, like, I'm a virgin, but I have a double wide set for Jaina, and I need massive tampons to fill it up. We're not doing that. I lost the connection there. I don't understand what she said. I just didn't get it. I mean either I want to see this

Maybe do the land that's fine, but can I finish by the thing? Yeah, and your shoe is big and it's a it's a it's a fronting Okay, yeah back it off. It's recycled material what I'm saying is How am I supposed to respect my captain? When I go into his cabin to clean it? Yeah, and he can't even make in the fucking toilet. All right, great. Well, would you say like how could you respect a higher up if they were drinking? Constantly all day. Yeah, but no one does that on boats. We seem to be getting in a who's who's on first type thing But I want to reiterate that maybe possibly what you are seeing is that he has a giant urethra on the stream I wanna reiterate that maybe possibly what you are seeing is that he has a giant urethra in the stream splashing

and guiding on the edge. I think you're talking about yourself and you need to see a doctor. So last we left off, hot captain, who's taking the boat out of the marina in the middle of the night with six inches of water underneath the boat, bear in mind, has boasts in his form or stripper

and his deck hands are more in the meditation. But do we also know like how deep is the draft? How deep is your draft? Gabby, I'll tell you something. You're more than welcome to come in here and sing and talk about why it's said vagina's, but do not punch logical holes in our bits. Don't do it.

And also try to not just speak when someone else is talking about just a couple rules. Next, stop slapping your feet around. All right, so, rain. This just completely fits into the pattern of hot captain. He has children from London to Perth. He's drunk on carnal desires, but he's been there before. Danger is really the only thing

that can get a muscle moving down there. Exactly. You know what I mean? And I've spent two hot a captain for too long. Did you guys see the news feed that they showed? Oh yeah, we've seen it twice now. Two episodes that are real. Like horror and heroism of hot captain.

I love how they interview him like he just, I don't know, saved the Captain. He's like a soul. Yeah, solid. Not that he rammed it into a marina. Yeah, so in an M. Night Shyammy man type twist, the stripper points, the flashlight at all the right rocks and they scooch out of there.

I'm so happy. That's getting better. With his adventure. His adventure seeking and his wrist taking, I already made the analogy to the client of Ben Stiller in a long came poly. And we had an awesome comment. I don't know if you guys, I don't even know if I told you. Oh my God, does that warm my heart

when we have lunatics who listen to us? I don't mean to say lunatics, but like true, true fans with a heart as big as an elephant. And this one with the heart as big as an elephant. And this one with a heart as big as an elephant actually reached out a couple months ago and mentioned how we oftentimes bring up a Gladys or Archivist who has been dropping the ball and she was like, can I be the Archivist?

Oh, and I was like, I love this person. Who is this person? Her name on Patreon is Sandra Archivist. Oh my God, I love Sandra. And she said I'll have it finished in about three months. She's listening to all our shows and doing like a glossary. And do not deserve this kind of fandom. We really don't.

And after the premiere of our Below Deck Down under Premiere Recap, Sandra Archive said, thought I would mention, you guys have discussed a long came poly many times. See deck reg season seven episode six Abby now homeless Ashton still gross we mentioned the long came poly there so thank you thank you Sandra the Archive so can you just let someone have she said give her three months what about the movie with with love you, Sandra? That's unbelievable. When he goes to Mexico, 40 days, a psychopath.

Oh, that is the heartbreak kid. The heartbreak kid. I haven't seen it. Yeah. I thought that that relates a little bit to what we're talking about, just the dissolution of falling into a situation. Yeah. And then you being the bad guy. Right, right, right. Yeah. And that goes with the long game, Paulie as well.

Totally, totally. And Malin Ackerman. I mean, she's so beautiful. And huge crush. Who was that? I think it was her, but I'll take that. I think it was Gabby. No, throw-farts.

We do it all the time. I can throw-farts. All right, so, um, well, that night, Jamie, that type of twist they get out of there and everyone is doing TikTok dances in Toga's above deck. How much would you need to be paid to choreograph a TikTok dance once a week for a year? Well, Dylan, should we do one after we record? Absolutely. I answer the question. But I know how much they get paid.

So I'm not gonna talk because you asked him. That mean how much do they get paid? How much would you want? How much would you need to be paid choreographic TikTok dance once a week? 52 times a year. How long are we coordinating? Yeah, 30 seconds.

You got to work on the dance move, so. Right. No, I know. But the content's 30 seconds. How long we talk? How much time in? Yeah, yeah. It's 30 seconds. He just fucking said I got to take it. no, I know but the content's 30s. Well, how long we taught how much time in yeah? Yeah, it's 30 seconds He just fucking no not the ticket self the prep it in hour. I $300 a thousand dollars a day. That's how I try to price my time a thousand dollars a video. Okay, all right now the reason I

Ask I'm gonna ask you how much you'd get you would need to get paid to do something else a little bit later All right, so how much you'd get you would need to get paid to do something else a little bit later. Okay, I was just keep that. I'm like, I knew you were a game. All right, so guys, we have a lot more to get into. Patreon. Okay, a ton more to get into. You ever go to a work event or jury duty and go, oh man, I have a breakout. What am I going to do? Well, we can tell you how to help, okay? Because that's happened to me. It's happened to plenty of us. We've all had struggles with okay? Because that's happened to me, it's happened to plenty of us. We've all had struggles with our skin,

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We'll see how that goes for her. I, you know, sometimes you need to, you know, carry a big stick. Um, we get our first, where am I in our notes? We get our first excursion of the trip. But before we get there, I want to mention Culver. We can talk about Grand Cowsky a little bit later, but he is Grand Cowsky. He's incredible.

I like anybody who describes himself as Grand Cowsky. Sure. Grand Cowsky, the actual guy who knows what he's doing behind closed doors but the idea of him is this fun Affable dummy and I love it. All right, so our first excursion of the trip No, Ryan. I'm not allowed to speak His teeth weird. I have weird teeth. We go snorkeled stones now. We hop in these waters I said I have weird're we see the fertile landscape of Wittsundee Isles with corals and the anemones in the clownfish and Pat How much would you need to be paid to get in these waters and swim around with all these secrets as like a tour guide?

No, you're on the vacation, you jump in the water, you got snorkel. I'm afraid of water, so that's why I bring it out. Yeah, I'm gonna throw it in Nick right out to this because I mean, I don't know what you guys would do. This must have stricken fear in both of you. Well, 50,000. 50,000.

That's my life, Gabby. Yeah, that's, oh man, I wish you had water in it. I'm scared of water in heights, I wish you had a wedding. I'm scared of water in heights. That's 50 tic-tucks. Yeah. I would. I don't know.

I just rather live another day. So as the morning proceeds, Jamie calls Britt Brittany because, you know, what else would you call her? Right? She is not happy about this. Which I get. She's probably had a lifetime of this kind of correction, but once you are not under the stewardship

of the clinically insane people that name you, Britini, don't defend the name, just change it. So I know she's a listener as most sea rats are. Brit, your name's Brit. Blame your parents if you don't like it, people have a life to live. But I know it's Brit, as most sea rats are Brit your name's Brit blame your parents if you don't like it people have a life to live It's Brit tinny. No, it's pretty no teeny. Yeah, but yeah BRI TT I and I it's too difficult her name's Brett. It's too difficult because everyone in America is a fucking idiot

All right, so let's move on to fuckface. This man, I'll call him Martini if she wants. I'm in mad. Okay. This man continues to maize me. Love him and want to drown. We're talking about Ryan. Yeah, season over confident little fuck face, but I kind of dig his philosophy on breakfast a little bit.

We're not turning this kitchen into do powers. Don't even ask them, just put food out. Breakfast is a very low ceiling. They'll be happy. Unless they are anything other than TikTok children. Now, you do this to Barry or Chuck. Oh, you're fucked. You're fucked.

I mean, what's gonna happen to you, fuckface? It's gonna be really, really bad. But this has been kind of your advice for the chef, essentially, I remember when Rachel was running a diner and you were disgusted that they were making or do that. So isn't that, well, listen. You and Ryan are more like the new thing. That's why I said he confuses me.

I want to love him and drown him. But I'll have two sticking points here. One, I don't like his attitude Obviously, he still feels as though he is in the back of STK and you're not anymore. I don't know what's happened. I don't know how many DUIs you've gotten or how many people you've pissed off But you're on a boat now, okay? Know your station. You're on a boat now. Yeah, he's a sack of shit one last night on this He we have to talk about the actual food which is my second

Why but go ahead? Okay, let me just break in here His motto is work harder Or work smarter not harder look douchebag. You're not a fork lift operator You're in a high-end industry where you're fucking people are paying like tens of thousand dollars a day Beat me cut like $10,000 a day. Beat me. Here's a beat. Here's a beat me in taste sandwich.

Do your job. Okay, so let's talk about the breakfast. The Canadian bacon is as loose as can be. It is not cooked. It's warmed up simply. The eggs are not poached. They're cooking some kind of muffin mold. And they're either not set properly

or they're drowning in finishing oil. Zero pots. Do you say they're drowning in finishing oil? Yeah. What is finishing oil? It's the high quality EVO that sits at every expediting station. Table on the table when you get there.

Holy shit. No, yeah, not on the table, though, Gabby, at the expediting station, they'll hit it with a little salt and drizzle it with a little salt and drizzle it with a little EVO quality stuff. Oh, my God. I feel even more poor now, thank you. No problem.

So zero pots, Tabasco is set on the table to ruin the dish further. The guests ask Hot Captain to join for dinner and then they take off to go snorkeling. We covered this, but we're your nerves fried. We're your nerves fried. I just got to grab a piece of it. Why do you have to say nerves fried?

Well, because I knew that he didn't catch it, so I just wanted to say it again with a little bit of condescension. So after snorkeling, we get back to the boat. Finally, we get a little bit of expoze on Tumey. Second episode, microaggression. She is about creativity. Her friends, her family are all type A,

accountants and lawyers. But Tumey is an artist. Can I interject? Yeah, of course. course and say that to me and I were friends before either of us got casted on bullet. Really? That's awesome. She's really cool. It makes sense. Yeah, Nick's very attractive to her. Oh Nick, why are you being a such a ho? I just said she was pretty. She is pretty, but you know you're young for me to to me. You're also still very to tune me. You're also still there for me. To me, to me.

I don't appreciate it. So to me. It's not about Nick, let me just say this. And so is the Polish girl and so is the one you find out. Yeah, Polish girl is pretty homeless. Yeah, as she's hot, the Polish girl's hot. You know who's hotter than all of them? I will, me, of course, it Dylan, don't listen to this.

Captain Jason, you know. Captain Jason, it's gotta be her gut no I just want to say this makes it more harder and like an old mech I literally Texted to me while I was filming like girl. I'm having a really hard time help me Yeah, how would you like to come home to a bartender who will fix you any cocktail you want? I'll have an old fashioned. I'll have a margarita. Now you can. With the Bartesian Home Cocktail Maker, Bartesian is a sleek machine, the size of a coffee maker that makes premium cocktails at the touch of a button.

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Gabby? What? Maybe about me. Gabby, we don't want to turn this into a little therapy session for you. Why? All right, we have a show to cover and you fell asleep on us last time,

so we can't do this. Okay, fine. All right, so she said she's an artist, Pat. Nick, do you want to tear that to shreds? Oh, I saw that table escaping. What is the girl with the funny name, Pat? Bugsie. Bugsie, she is not. Nick, do you want to tear that to shreds? Oh, I saw that table-scaping. What's the girl with the funny name? Bugsie.

Bugsie, she is not. Well, I think she's pretty talented. But comment loves it. All right, so let's get to lunch. Fuckface has gone rogue and made cook out food before anyone's asked for it. It seems like Tumey has a real passion real passion for table scoping. Oh, that's what it takes to be great. Yeah, she will be great. And she will be great. Great stuff.

And she's a sweetheart. And but we did read the same book. I mean, it doesn't make you an expert in a day. Yeah. I was giving to a bugsy joke. So fuck faces from Philly. We've covered this ad nauseam. When he's done drinking beer and filly and throwing batteries at baseball players, he wants a sandwich. So that's why he's made barbecued ribs, barbecued chicken, potato salad, and something that exists really only on the fringes of the sandwich umbrella. Cheeseburgers. cheeseburgers. So Ryan calls for Asia while she is catering to the needs of the children above and he decides to just start calling for hands after 30 seconds of no response. He has no idea where anyone is. Gabby have you ever seen this kind of thing before on boats?

Not on the yacht. No, I have not. The chef just gone. It's time. It's not trance because we have ticket times. Every ticket time is 12 minutes. In restaurants, I can vouch and say like, hey, you ordered this, you're getting this, let's go.

Sure. Let's move it. Sorry, you were at the bathroom. Sorry, took a shit. I have never seen seen chef on a yacht Be it plate food unless the chiefs do has already told them right Hey, they're seated. Yeah, right. So fuckface is truly a fuckface. I cannot disagree or agree all right So um, by the way, we should call this uh this meal lunch for drunks

I mean that's all I was this bar of two ribs and sandwiches and this piece is long that he's right Yeah, he is right and this piece of shit he should just have that annoying really uh gaudy STK neon Like massacre right in his galley. Yeah, just put that behind you as you prepare all this fucking Las Vegas. Day glow kind of horror right behind him. Yeah. All right, so he is asked to slow down a bit and he is not happy. Lobotomy candidate, 10 out of 10, get him to an ice pick or something like, I feel so,

I can't talk like that. He says I can't reheat it There's nothing I can do I have an idea Keep the food warm until they're ready and then fuck your own face So he has learned something after all of this this entire debacle this timing fiasco And the two things that he's learned is one it's Asia's fault and two that he's going to be late for dinner on purpose as a

result of this entire thing. This to me was his worst transgression. What a horrible. Do you guys think it's worth the question for all three of you? Yeah. You're all assholes. I'm saying, No, I'm sorry. I'm speaking. Oh, I thought you were done I thought you had a question that were coming out of my mouth. Yeah, okay What I was gonna ask you always is it worse than Matt from last season faking a knee injury To this yes Because Matt one's haveless. Yes, because Matt is helpless. Yes, one sniveling.

My least favorite quality, the other is petulant. Not good quality, but probably not my least favorite. No, I wouldn't call it petulence, I would call it. Wait, I wanna hear from Patrick too. I would call it psychopathy. Well, I have a question for you, Gabby. Thank you. Have you worked with a douchebag as a chef on one of these things?

I assume definitely on the land you have, because they're all douchebags. Have you ever worked on a boat with a chef this douchebag as a chef on one of these things. I assume definitely on the land you have, because they're all douchebags. Have you ever worked on a boat with a chef this douchey? Yes, absolutely. First of all, chefs on a boat, some of them didn't earn their chef title. Some of them are cooks, and some of them would never make it online

in a Michelin star restaurant. Or Arbis or fucking Burger King. There was a chick last year that prepared nachos while she was also homophobic and in a Russian spy Russian. There was also a girl that she was folding towels and cleaning to cleaning toilets 24 hours. I'm 50% Russian and we're not gonna rehash those things. I think we all seen how ridiculous that was, but yeah, these people fucking slither their way onto these yachts full of sea rats

and we're sea rats, but we know what the fuck we're doing. Well, you guys do. And I will say still and I agree with you that is petulence extends so far that it becomes psychopathy But the definition of petulence is childishly sulky or bad tempered. Yeah, that's this little piece of shit Any advice for how to reconcile with Well, he's good little good-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go- vocabulary right now. So the double checking. I said, all right. So we got to move on to the next portion of the show. But before we do Let's take a breach Brief pause so that I can find where I am in my notes and I am right here. Culver is drunk. He says it and

He says it's strong and he is a hundred percent right about that He is dependable. He is huge. He's tuna and mustard Just get him the ball. Just get him the ball and you'll win the game. I really love this guy. Who said that Tom Brady Well, not that diet said what? Said what daddy's rock. No, what you just said get him the ball Is there a person on the show that literally said that? No, yeah, Culver said I'm like, Grand Cowsky. What you've done again, Gabby is.

Okay, we'll have to stop. You've moved the mic very, very far away from your face. I know because I did not want to be heard. Cut this out first. All right, so dinner is at 8.30. Jamie wants to have sex with magma and the guests are taking disposables with their thumbs for cocks. Can we get to the anchoring?

Well, I think the anchor, oh, was that dinner prepper? We're going to get to dinner because I... We're not at dinner yet. Oh, okay. The anchor thing does seem a little scary to me, but Benny definitely came off as a complete policy. Yeah, so Benny makes the whole process take 25 minutes longer than it should. He tells Brit to come have a look at how impossible this thing Anchor weaving or whatever it's called is

Threading and the captain is not happy about this Neither no, it doesn't seem that hard. All you'd have to do is take that that You coil it. Have you done it before? Yes What's it like it's not that treacherous right? Okay, I have to move the microphone away again. How's that gummy drop? Flume what did you do to me? No, I don't interrupt you guys again. I literally would have tried to not but well Gabby I mean you need we need to hear coil. That's why you're here.

Carling a fucking anchor is really not that hard. No. It's just when the anger comes down you direct it in a circle like snake. Right. Like a snake like in India you see the snakes are coiled and they're like or when the seerats get really drunk and I'll fuck each other No, not the seer. All right, so what's doing? Wow someone's jealous. I'm gonna move the I like west. I'm gonna move the microphone. Oh my god So uh She's pretending. Brittany has a bit of a chat with Benny about chilling the fuck out. And after fucking up the anchor, twiddling, he teaches her a thing or two about not knowing what the fuck she's doing. He-

He- He- He- Oops, I can't speak on this. Alright. Alright. I'm gonna move this away. Just get drunk by myself. You know, when I was seeing this fight between Brit and Benny, I'm like, wow, these two are really having it out on the deck. I was like, it made me think, what's happening with that Gabby and Ashley situation? Shut up.

So Ryan is spooning cat food into tortillas and we find out that Scott, Aisha's boyfriend, who she's been traveling with, his name's Scott. Womp, womp, womp. I'm not talking to her. Yeah, that's what he's doing. Let's get to dinner. So Ryan is cooking the food that every fucking person on Instagram

who knows anything about food is sick of. It is beauty. If we go on Instagram right now, you will see Biria tacos, quesadillas, ramen fries, enough with the fucking Biria. But this guy knows that these TikTok, you know, Pelicans will suck this entire thing down No Also, Beria's goat. It's been bastardized by American palates and bastardized further

No, not thaw goat. The protein used is goat Gabby. Will you just get drunk by yourself? My god if you are gonna talk it's gotta be in the mic so just get drunk by yourself, my god. If you are going to talk, it's got to be in the mic. So, um, where's the talk off mic? Ryan speaks of Mexican food the way a piece of shit who can only cook stunt food would speak of Mexican food. He likes it because it's simple. Mexican food, as we all know, is very complex. It's a very complex cuisine. It's criminally undervalued and underappreciated by most often, pieces of shit from Philadelphia, but also by a lot of people. So Captain sits down for dinner and we once again explore the horrors that came as a result of his thrill seeking. This

man is so dangerous. How many episodes are we going to over under five? we see this news clip and I'm not complaining to be honest But it is funny how they keep going to the well and again may a culpa not captain Sandy fall off the way right by the way I have to say his good looks definitely shaped the heroism. Yes. Yeah, the the what do you call it the narrative? Yes, if he was a fucking pig right they'd be like this guy almost kill the bunch of people holy shit He's good looking hey get over here. I know if if he has a proof of lunch looking mother fucker Or they'd have him thrown in prison that weird looking guy who filled in for captain Lee oh, yeah, that guy would be in solitary

Fine, well they would have made up a story CNN would have made up a story of him like he left the boat He actually called before it crashed right get me off the boat please come pick me up all right so he's demonized the bastard so a good look stew to people yeah it's incredible so let's get to what so let's get to white glove birriot tacos this is a I mean it is a culinary embarrassment, the likes of which we haven't seen in some time. It's like they're serving duck reat. They do it at the same time. It's like synchronized swimming, but it's poorly made Instagram tacos. It's truly like cataclysmically sad. Like cataclysmically sad

Next course after three tacos is a milkshake I mean we're gonna have to start getting into negative pots with this guy At zero pots and I'll think about five I'll think about next week whether we venture into the dark dark waters of the negative pot scale because you know Once you go there you can't come back. So does quite upset me. You know that I will say Mexican not being simplistic It's one of the first culinary lessons you taught us on this podcast Yeah, and I've never forgot and That that threw me for a loop when he said that I was excited to hear right you were gonna bring a heat And you didn't you didn't disappoint me. Thank you. So

Captain heads off and so do the rest of the crew magma go falls at Jamie's body and then calls her boyfriend She tells him that she loves him 15 times, but let's see how many episodes it takes for her to fuck another Sea red It takes for her to fuck another seerat. Next morning. Next morning. Jamie comes up for a chat, low tide once again. I'm very concerned that this is gonna be a thing that amounts to nothing. It's the new dock.

Yeah, the worst part, but we're already gonna have docking. So if it's like docking. Yeah, it's docking twice. The worst part of below deck is the mission impossible stings that I feel like you guys are upset because you've been being played with. Yeah, we don't like that. Oh, yeah.

This is why you keep talking about the docking and anchoring. Right. It's because you guys keep hanging on these ledges. We feel like that innocent young woman you watched earlier today. It's our self-appointed jobs to explain to the national audience when they're doing this.

But they're not. I think no one would realize these nuances. But they're not the ones here. They're not the ones seeing it. They're not the ones involved. How shitty it feels for someone to build you up. Right. Right.

Now Gabby, we don't want to turn this into a therapy session for you, right? All right, we got to get to the end. You're sick. Also, you need a DM Magda. Because you seem super obsessed with her. I am not super obsessed with Magda. It seems like a guy.

She's got a boyfriend. I'm going to have a boyfriend. I'm going to have a drop. I'm going to have a wife. I'm going to have a drop next week. It's a Dr. Evil going liquid hot magma. Right, right. Right. I'm gonna ski it on here.

Fuck y'all. Summer's coming. So Jamie comes up for a chat. Oh, we said that low tide. So let's get to breakfast. It is due, Pars, but how Ryan wants to do it. We've got pancake dollars and a giant breakfast glizzy. It looks like campanleton food.

It's super... Campanleton, that's in San Diego. It's the nicest fucking base. Right. And I'm saying the food that the army men and women eat there is just as good or better than the breakfast glizzy flopped on this plate with a bunch of pink. I'm gonna get the dog.

All right, so I'm taking in. Once again, zero pots. I'm taking in all the knocks on his food, zero knots. I get it. I will say if it was me on this boat, I mean, you would have absolutely slain. This is my wheel hop, pun intended. Because.

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apparently Benny P's sitting down you you mentioned that yeah oh okay sorry I said that verbatim did you hear I didn't catch it All right. So let's get to Benny doing something on the boat that he's scared of because he's Closter Foebeck. So as the chain comes in and up, Benny says, one wrong move and you're gone sucked up like loop. You know, but the thing about the chain is that it's crawling at such a slow pace that I think dare he might be or dare I say I think he's over Reacting and it reminded me and that's why I'm so frazzled right now because I'm trying to cue a clip as I talk But it reminded me of this moment in Austin Powers when he kills a man with a steam roller. You guys want to watch this? Sure, sure. Yes, Pat just brought this guy up. now. He's the one who ended up in a fire pit He's like I'm burning that's well Farrell same

Oh right, yeah, they reuse that guy same bit over it over. Yeah, all right check this out. This is what Benny was like down there This is Michael McDonald's from Matt TV. Oh, shout! See, isn't it exactly like that? Exactly like that. It's exactly like that. That's he gets crushed. Yeah, he dies.

But this is when I started to like Jamie, because Jamie was like, okay, whim, get the fuck out of here. Where's Culver? Right. And then it starts laughing at him. So, he hurts his foot. He begins riving and whimpering and needs to be pulled out immediately. I see your screen shot that you have right now.

It looks terrible. I think he pissed his pants when he did it. It's Benny and the wets. Yeah. Benny and the wets. That's an episode title. So, expect one of those in episode. The guest to part the boat and we get to our first tip of the vacation.

Captain says let's get to a bit of a mating. I mean this guy is a one trick Pony his constant. He said he said all right everybody. Let's get to a little bit of a mating Bating he knows he's doing that. Yeah, he's doing that One time I really don't mean I One time I really don't I know mean I don't when you say it in that accent I especially don't feel comfortable with that. I know I know I know I know I feel the same way galley. I feel the exact same way

Back in like the late 90s FX had this kind of rival to the man show called the X-show. I remember. Last of one season. I can't remember who hosted it, but I'm sure they're around kicking around. But they had like a pick-up artist, essentially, come on. And he was like, that was like a movie said, purposely fuck up words to make them like sublibital messaging. And yeah, the hot captain made them want to fuck right

I want to go to the maze. I do want to go have a nip. How am I supposed to feel better about this? Yeah, oh, yeah, right great Right, that was good. That was quick. We're nerd. We know that I'm more Which one how am I supposed to feel better about that situation? Gabby oh shit, I'm fucked up. All right, we're gonna. Yeah, yeah, you're fucked up. Yay! And I'm so fucking happy for you because you're here. You're cutting it up and you're just,

I'm really happy you're here. We are. And I don't mean that's sarcastic. I was really trying to understand what he was saying, but I just realized, yes, I'm fucked up. I happened to me last week, Dylan skewered me on the podcast It's not a pretty thing. I'm gonna be about scared

No, I would never skewer you I would skewer pet you know And sesame but I can take it he has a family and child. I don't and despite and he has a life to live for I'm a fucking C-Rat. No, no, no, Gabby. No, you're not Joe's oh my god, this is not. I wanted to give you a compliment, despite like undoubtedly falling off a cliff, but you still have these moments of greatness, you're really making me laugh.

I know, it's all making me laugh. I made you laugh. Yeah, yeah. Even if I, I said Gabby. Are you guys being weird? No, no. Gab, I don't like the collective now. No, we do it a lot.

Gabby, stop it. So the guest to part the boat, and we get to our first tip of the vacation. Hot Captain tells them that they've got communication problems. And then Pat, we get to our first tip of the season. Now, before the numbers, he also says they have a lot to approve on because they weren't

that bad, not like launching a boat into a marina filled with people. Bad. Just right. Right. It weren't that great. Yeah. So 16 grand, 16 grand, 1352 each. No, not the grand, I thought it was 16 grand because it was European money.

I thought it was, I thought it was US. It wasn't it was fucking Australian A us I'm not dead wrong Gabby. I'm gonna have to stop you there or Bravo PR is gonna be pissed So Tumi says she's gonna spend it on Botox and she doesn't need it I know care what they said they're gonna spend it on that is not the it was 20 grand a us Okay, so Jason hearing what they're gonna spend it on it's like um have you ever seen the Italian job? Yeah, Mark Wahlberg and and they split their money and they're all discussing what they're gonna get it on and then Edward Norton flips a Script problem kills old man steals are the things and doesn't have any ideas of his own so he buys the stereo

He buys the other stuff that those people have yeah, yeah, yeah, or it's like an American gangster when Denzel Washington No's not to spend too frivolously so Jason says he's gonna be handing out a special award later. Okay camp counselor That's a new one. Oh, that's a lot of fun also called Hazing so speaking of camp counselor, he is asked by his female employees what his sign is. He like me is a Libra. We all have the same sense of balance and jawline and body type. He's like I'm a penis. I mean a Libra. The they're rather transparently signaling that they want to fuck him and he is loving it. Shut this down boss, tell them to take it easy, don't smile and say alright, I'm watching you.

It's too sexy a corrective measure, it won't work. By the way, it's Pusha T writing a jingle for McDonald's just loving it. Those cameras aren't there, it's going down. Oh yeah, mag. Oh yeah. Is night time. So magda is hammering Grand Marne wild move. And we arrive at the award ceremony. I love this show. Can we get a roll call? We thought that I thought that this was going to be a war to the woman he was most lusting after, but no, it's a rather Diabolical instrument to shit on the person who needs motivation the most Sir Alex Ferguson wasn't the greatest manager of all time because he mastered the 442, you know, it was because of his man management

No, he was an old old Scottish though. No. Just shut up. No, so um, this is not gonna fucking happen. Um, is of course Benny's response. So we must move on to find out what's gonna happen with Benny and that helmet. Also possible episode title. Okay, so evidently the cat's better. The cat was forced, I'm gonna be honest with ya. Bipa bipa Benny and the helmet. So evidently the captain is gonna be joining

the crew on Nights Out sometimes, HR nightmare, but I love it, Let's get to dinner. Culver is furious at Benny's lack of commitment to team awards. He is Grand Casky, he is Crabcake, he is Maryland. I absolutely love his conviction to this. He's like, what do you do with it? The guy gave you hell that tradition. You got a bearer tradition. We're a fucking team man. to wear it with pride dude. Yeah, he's like who wouldn't want to wear this So I'm a leave it. I do love him. He's so funny So then he is spitting on the

The award and then is bumming everyone out with his sad sad tales now last week He said chill to Britini for sad sad tales. Now, last week, he said, chill to Britini for asking him about his mother's cause of death. But it turns out he could have simply just said cancer. He tells Aisha not just that it was cancer, but he kind of breaks down the spread of the cancer from the lungs to the brain. He was just very much more open tonight. He's gotten to know them. He's had more time. Yes, the cause of death was lung cancer

that spread to brain cancer. Yeah, it was a pretty vivid insight in how your body can just absolutely turn on you at any moment. Right. You know, I am really, really fucking shocked because we know each other pretty well. And when I said that the cause of death was long

and then brain cancer, I had in parentheses now is when Nick talks about COVID. I really, really thought. That's sad when you think you know what, some of you've been creatively doing what they're gonna say. Well, we all know what we're gonna do. Yeah, you always, hey, I'm evolving, because you didn't get you up.

Look who didn't bring it up. I don't believe in you. Yeah, in an evolution, it is a funny bit. I, but I do not hit by a car, had lung cancer and brain cancer, he died of cold. Oh, I guess, I guess I'm just back to living my normal life. I'm gonna put those two, two years of just the eye to by the right.

Right, okay. So then we get, then we get some C-Red pain between Asia and Benny, she shares all of her atrocities and we must move on to Captain arriving and seeing that Benny is not wearing the beautiful award bestowed to him. Well, when Benny was talking about all that stuff

and his sobriety and whatnot, I was getting really depressed, but when fucking Captain Jason showed up Like it's fucking odd. Yeah, it's party life's too short. I Told myself I was gonna have a Rattlesink Q sound queued up right before they went out We end the evening with a very productive chat between Benny and Jamie. Well, it was actually an improv to employee review, which is very popular in the...

Right, in the cereal world, yeah. And speaking of productivity, I think this episode's been incredibly productive. Ah! I wanted to say about the hot captain and his hilarious hazing technique. I feel like he should have, it was a misstep to give it to one of the actual pieces of shit on the boat.

Right. Who can't handle it and then just gets more offended and it caused a rift. He should have gave it to Culver. Right. And then Culver to show how funny it is. Right. Okay, Culver, you're a big dumb idiot.

Where are this? And then Benny would wear it next time and then you could just give it to Benny for like seven consecutive charters. Exactly. Tonight the award goes to Benny again. All right, guys, we got to get out of here. Jump in the comments.

Let us know what you thought about the episode. Follow Gabby on the social media. She's a fan favorite. Show her love and make sure she gets renewed for season two or four or five or whatever The fuck is going on in this world of below deck. Thank you very much for coming on Thanks for having me. I don't want to cut you off Yeah, I'm a little fucked up. So thanks everyone for listening to the show Thanks, you're like me. I can't end up so it's not

Do you're little emphysema cough while I'm stinking? Right. It's a nervous cough. Yeah. That'd be great. Hi everyone. Thank you so much for having me on. Yeah.

I love Dylan. I love you. Let me do this again. He's crying. Yeah. What are you you gonna say? Uh, Dill. Go on, say it.

Hi. Guys, we'll see you next week. No, fuck off. I'm talking. Okay. All right. Thank you for having me on another below deck. Podcast.

This is Gabriela from below deck. Gabriela Barangan. Shut up. You always say it wrong. So fuck off. Barangan. Gabriela Barangas! You always say it wrong, so fuck off. Gabriela Barangan. He's not exactly what he said. That's not what he said. He said it in more flair, I would be in that barangan.

Maybe. Can I finish a fucking sentence? You don't have to do me when we were in it. I said bound to you. All right, everyone, All right. All right. Everyone listen here. Can you say my name? Yeah, but everyone likes. Oh, say it again. Everyone, thank you for coming. Yeah.

Oh, and watching the show. No, I said, all right guys. We'll be back. No, actually, what I was saying was. This is a good bit, no, she can't. Thank you, everyone, for tuning in to another Below Deck Podcast. It's my favorite podcast. This is Gabriella Barrigan speaking from another Below Deck Podcast. I said that already. Yep. Say permission to leave the boat.

Permission to leave. Don't yell at me. Oh, This is Gabriella Barrigan from Bolotics sailing out season three. Yeah, thank you for listening. Please tune in. You're watching. That's so Raven. Don't be poor and pay for the Patreon. They're paying. But still Keep going. We love you guys just like you love Gabby. The hatchets have been buried and we are moving forward. We all know a guy who only occasionally shaves for big occasions, and it's because that occasional shave really hurts. The timey year for big occasions, and it's because that occasional shave really hurts. The timey year for big occasions, and yet, there he is, suffering with that cheap drugstore

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