Another Below Deck Podcast - The Dangers of Cinda Blocks | Below Deck Med S8 E2

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

Dylan and Pat are back to break down cinda blocks, Caelan's sandwich abuse problem, eggs, monkey's with vision problems, journeys on a plate, the home of the dolphin, balls of snakes, Captain Jason's role in hiring and more from Bravo's Below Deck Med.To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code: (badtv) to get free shipping & 30% off your first order.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/

It's at this point where he says that he's going to take him back to Los Angeles as though he is some kind of Oompa Loompa with no agency, and he is going to start a restaurant with him. This is kind of like the pinnacle of opportunity for a Sea Rat to trick a benefactor into thinking that you are human and then take their money. You know, that's how you get out of this industry. Guaranteed a job for a year until you burn that thing to the ground. And then you may flee back to the ocean, but who knows? Hi, hello, and welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck podcast. My name's Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one Patrick Hickey. Permission to come aboard.

Granted. What's up? Not much. Not much. We got a bit of a mutiny on our hands. What do you mean? Well, our former producer, who has a substance abuse issue with sandwiches, has picked himself quite a battle with you. Yeah, he accused me of breaking the mic stand. And when he asked me if I did it, I said no.

And then he said he did one of these stupid things he doubles back and says well it wasn't broken uh when i left or whatever and so you're so you're calling me a liar producer caitlin is that what's happening here and to think that that this handsome young man goes to firehouse subs orders god knows how many eats them all and comes in here in some kind of stupor. Some Tasmanian devil kind of stupor destroys the entire studio and then has the goal in a blacked out kind of fugue state to blame you. I couldn't believe it. I mean, it's unbelievable. The mayonnaise is clogging his can his canals you know the canals up there oh yeah yeah yeah yeah so we'll take care of him i don't mean kill him no no no i'm

gonna speak with we're gonna have a conversation you know people, I think people would, were he, and we'll get into the show in a second, but were he to go into treatment? I think that he, and, and people in the program are very supportive of one another, but I,

I'm Kalen. I ate four, uh, firehouse subs this week. Yeah. And I'm ashamed. Yeah. That's all you need to do.

But I think that people would be, I feel like he'd be a bit of a laughingstock and I feel like it would really test the people that community to embrace an addiction like that because you don't see what we see. People think that, Oh, this is just a joke, but it's not a fucking joke.

It's the equivalent of, of having a bath salt addict producer show, but we have to get into the podcast. Okay. Uh, the reviews have been amazing. You're going to read a couple of them. We'll read them a little bit later.

Um, can I do some PSAs? Yeah. Do some PSAs. Okay. Boy, do we have two incredible things happening? Actually,

we've got three things going on that are, you guys are going to love. Obviously, we recap this show. You know that. Oh, you counted that, huh? Later this week. Yeah, I counted that. Natalia, the temporary Chief Stew,

had a wonderful chat with her. She told some crazy stories about the yachting industry and working for some unnamed billionaire who has a propension. Is it a propensity for prostitutes? Yeah. And also she shares a little bit about her experience. There's plenty of tea there. It's going to be a great interview. We'll drop that later this week. Love is blind. Okay. I don't want to give any spoilers away, but there's not enough, not a lot of cast members left as we're going into week three of Love is Blind.

But Dylan and I are doing incredible recaps. It's so fun to talk about how categorically that show is failing. It's a zero out of 10. I've never seen anything like it. And if you want to hear us talk about a failure that we, the likes of which we've really never seen in reality television, go to patreon.com slash the podcast network. And what Dylan's referring to in most instances,

this show is such a train wreck and not in a good way. Yeah. That generally a production would shut down and start over. It would go go we have to eat the pod rental i know it's a 50 grand hit but we we were gonna be people aren't gonna ever watch the show again we need to start over we have to not be myopic we have to think about the future of this franchise but nick and vanessa are off at soho house slugging back dirty martinis and they can't be bothered. And they call the shots.

Yeah. Lastly, The Golden Bachelor. What a juggernaut. So fun. So we got some of the ratings in. Something like six million people watched the debut of that. And a bunch of you guys came over to have us recap it. Yeah.

So it was a wonderful week for us. So Golden Bachelor is on bad tv bad tv and subscribe to hear our recapping of that it's some of the funniest work we've ever done yeah and we are um we're not really big enough to get canceled but the world may make an exception for the work we're doing over there it's almost like the work that we're doing over there covering the golden bachelor may kind of rocket us into stardom so that we can be torn down because that's the kind of work we're doing over there. But it's, it's difficult because it's a bunch of elderly people trying to find love.

And that sounds very sweet, but we have to make fun of it. Well said. So, um, uh, and I don't mean stardom in like a like a um uh matthew broadrick kind of way i i mean it you know within the podcast game of course you know what i mean in our own lane yeah yeah it's a different kind of celebrity different kind of we'll never we'll never we'll never be matthew broadrick We'll be like, we can breach the F list.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sad, huh? Yeah, kind of. So let's get into it. We have episode two of season 50 of Below Deck Men to talk about. Patrick, do you want to start with your pots and nuts? I would absolutely love to. I'm just going to say this out of the gate. natalia is a great chief stew great chief stew um she made

it kind of like this is if you know what you're doing and you're a normal human being this can be kind of a i'm not going to call it an easy job but you can make it look easy and she does exactly that on this first charter yeah i am i don't want to interrupt please do but can i just add something that would color how good of a job she did please do brooke the heiress to sprouts in the sprouts empire was her third stew brooke the heiress to the sprouts empire was so inexperienced that she was not asked to remain on the boat. Now, that could be a glossed-over thing, but if you think about the level of qualification

needed for a Sea Rat to remain aboard any vessel on these franchises, it is astounding that Natalia got through that first charter with Brooke. She said she smelled like dick at some point. You know? I mean, it's unbelievable. Sorry, Pat, these are your thoughts.

No, no, no. And I have a theory on her departure. I do not think it was Captain Sandy's. I do, in fact, think it was Brooke's. We'll get into that later. All right, Natalia's a great chief stew. I'm starting to fall in love with Lara, too. I see a future.

I see a great future for you on this franchise. I'm curious about your thoughts on dinner. You know, were the foodies impressed? Right. Let's see here. Oh, that's one thing I hated about. What I always say makes great reality TV, Dylan. Somebody you can hate.

I really hate this primary. Oh, of course he's friends with Captain Sandy. Yeah. He says something really stupid he says like he likes this cook's food so much he might just have him move to los angeles and invest to a restaurant to have him cook at yeah oh that's nice did you speak to that uh speak with that idea about chef jack he might have some thoughts on that yeah yeah and and also that is a just a surefire sign of somebody who doesn't have enough money

to do what they're talking about. Because you need to be rolling in it to invest in a restaurant. Otherwise, you're just lighting the money on fire. Yeah, in most cases you are. Lastly, to me, who I do love, it's at the tail end of the episode, just that little dust up they have there. Yeah. That was quite entertaining and uncomfortable. really uh but we'll get into that uh great second episode uh i'm gonna give it uh 50 knots i feel like i didn't speak right english a little bit ago i don't know i'm kind of in my

head about it when i was talking about the whole lighting the money thing on fire i don't think it was right english there but listen it doesn't even matter because we're plowing forward i thought it was a fine episode um i don't really remember what happened on the show so let's get into it right now four pots okay do you want us to break us into it uh yeah okay so all right chow. We're trying to find a replacement for the, he's kind of like a bad spy, you know, like a really bad spy. Somebody who like, you know, that, that, that scene in GoldenEye with the Hoover Dam or whatever the dam is.

Oh, where Bungie jumps off of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, people have said that at that height uh doing a fall like that and then you suddenly come to a stop yeah your fucking eyeballs would fall out of your head right yeah the actual stunt man that did that this is a little uh a little movie magic here yeah they

actually uh taped his eyes shut with duct tape the actual guy who did that oh really wow because your eyes would fucking fall out of your head that is is crazy. Well, imagine if he was like screaming the entire way down and they just caught him immediately. You know, that's kind of like, Oh, he was just super bad at trying to get aboard the vessel with a fake identity.

Oh, right. Uh, so, um, the, the big guy, um,

chewy or whatever his name is, wakes up. He says, um, he's fat, old and tired. And hey, chewy. I don't think you look tired at all.

No, I think you look great. Breakfast is ordered. The scouser does not philosophically jive with American egg preparation. Well, he's clearly, it's because he's from Middle Earth, Dylan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Middle Earth, there are runny eggs and there are hard-cooked eggs. In America, there is a rainbow of egg preparation. And he says that saying over medium is just a way to try to make you sound like you know what you're talking about when it comes to food.

like you know what you're talking about when it comes to food. And Scouser, I would just like to let you know that we're talking about Denny's. That's not really any kind of sign that you are literate in the culinary arts. That's just diner food. That's just DuPars shit. So, Choppy Waters, Thank God Luca is calm and hot as a bag

of lava. I mean, the guy is a hot piece of dick. And it's calming everybody like a cult leader. You know what I mean? I love Luca, but he is not a bosun. He's a guy who's really good looking that cleans toilets. That's what he's qualified to do.

And later in the episode, not to get ahead of ourselves, but he will be put in such a position where he could, in fact, kill people. But that's okay because he's good looking. How'd you like to be in charge of everybody's welfare? Mixed feelings about it. No, I mean, I think he's going to do a great job because he's a cult leader. All right, can we talk about this primary that I fucking hate?

Okay. You know what I always say. Like, you got to have good service and you should have expectations. But this primary, and I forgot his goddamn name. He does some unnecessary ball busting with this whole egg business. Yeah.

If you don't like the eggs, just send them back and tell the stew how you like them. Yeah. We don't need you to break balls and talk about finding his weaknesses or whatnot. You jerk off, send the eggs back.

Yeah. Shut up. What a jerk. Yeah. Um, well, Jack, the filthy scouser does not believe in breakfast.

He says, we've been doing it wrong for 100 years interesting that the century mark is the cutoff um before that it was fine but um he's like you know you you don't need breakfast and and listen you gotta have a different attitude when you're a chef on below deck because a lot of the time the people chartering the boats are ugly americans a lot of the time they're binge drinking so the morning meal is of vital importance we've seen so many chefs get by serving overcooked tuna fillets with tubed wasabi for dinner. If they can put out a good hollandaise, everything is forgiven.

You know? So I know it's beneath you, but you got to pick it up. Come on. So the charter guest has, this was so insane to me. I don't know what we're going to call or what you are going to call Captain Sandy this season,

but she might be Captain Hands Off right now because she is nowhere to be seen. The charter guests are essentially, it's like they've all taken like epitaph or whatever. They're sick as fuck. They're puking. And Sandy is like, oh man, the waters are choppy. And she's just sitting up in the crow's nest.

The primary has to come up to her and pitch the idea of maybe not enduring this anymore. That'd be nice. It is. It's like the third act of Triangle of Sadness. Yeah. Unlike Woody Harrelson just getting drunk with an Ozark. She's fucking hiding in a closet somewhere on the fucking phone trying to get more employees. Which, by the way, Sandy.

Yeah. Which, by the way, Sandy. Sandy says she hopes the rest of this charter goes well because she's down so many team members uh sandy uh i'm doing a head count here i've never seen more sea rats working on a vessel yeah yeah yeah uh i i there's yeah there's more red shirts on this boat than there are at a fucking chief's game so shut up yeah yeah yeah it's like a new york subway there are so many rats uh so luca and natalia a little huggy puggy um natalia says cop a feel my god oh yes and then she says that she's very confused about what the rules of an open relationship are fuck luca those are the rules of the open relationship or go i mean do whatever you want to do.

If you don't want to have sex, that's fine. I'm not here to tell anybody what to do sexually. But you should probably fuck Luca. That's what the open relationship. Those are the rules. A hundred percent. And he seems like a controlling dick because later on we'll get to that.

The boyfriend does. But if you want an update on their relationship, listen to our interview that drops later this week. and if you want more than an update and you want to know about how big of a scumbag this guy is if you didn't already know um those details are there as well how why is it always awful human beings that that get involved in this it's not just, do you mean wealthy people? Well, guys that pitch open relationships. They're just like, I don't know. I just feel like it's fucking, it's scummy.

It's greedy. Like everybody, men and women don't want to do it. But for some reason you feel entitled to this kind of bizarre freak show view of monogamy. I mean, it's insane insane because i've met a few of these particular people i know what they usually go for is a girl who has no self-esteem that they convince that this is fucking normal which is why i was shocked that natalia who i believe has a lot of self-confidence would fucking go for it but in the interview she tells us he's

worth like a billion bucks or something so i could see why she was doing all right so 10 minutes of absolute torture are on the docket and in store for the charter guests they get onto the tender and they head to the shore they head to a place called uh well they head to portofino which is where we are lucas is the home of the dolphins ah yes yes and he also died and made portofino home of the dolphins i know i thought the fuck i thought that was japan uh luca jokes made Portofino home of the dolphins. I know. I thought that was Japan. Luca jokes, though, that he hopes one of the larger guests doesn't try and eat a dolphin or something like that. I don't think he did. I think you did.

Brooke, the heiress of Sprouts, says that she smells like dick. I got that right, right? I believe so. She said that. She did. I wouldn't say that about her. There's no way I could i don't know what she smells like and this was filmed in the past even if it was live i wouldn't be able to

smell we don't have that technology yet you know what i mean i do i was gonna say you know with brooke and being on this show and again i'll get to it in just a few minutes yeah i think her appearance on here was perhaps a bit understated. It's almost as though she wasn't here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was here kind of, and then she was gone.

What a trope of cooking shows, huh? Smell-O-Vision. How many times have you heard Guy or Bobby or Kit Cora say, oh my gosh, have you had Smell-O-Vision? You know, they just stole my idea for a restaurant that I had for 10 years. The food network. Okay.

I wanted, I wanted chopped live. So you could go to a restaurant, seem, see a couple of chefs compete on dishes and then eat the food and then eat the food as you're watching a gigantic screen at the actual place where they're preparing it what a fun concept and now they have a restaurant opening that's doing that i want my money you are insane for wanting to do that oh i think it's so fun like dinner dinner theater a little bit it's like that restaurant in uh in west hollywood

closed down a couple years ago uh bizarre yeah you just go there once and have some fun yeah yeah i don't need a uh a piece of bubble gum that tastes like a hot dog. Right, right. I don't need you to come out and drop a kind of like a disco ball of frozen cotton candy on the table and then drizzle chocolate all over the place, you know, and it's $700. And it's a turkey sandwich. That's the crazy part. Yeah. So, a lot of meanwhiles. We get church. We get a hot dog getting inflated. We have small plates coming up. Fuck the hierarchy.

Anywhere you want to stop. Oh, so we're back on the boat. So it's worth mentioning. We've gotten back to the boat. We enjoyed Portofino. Yeah. Home of the Dolphins. Being tourists and now we're back. Guests returning. Luca and those deckies are delivering their A game. Yeah. Want to know how I know they were delivering their A game?

Huh? Because Captain Sandy says so. Yeah. She says... She's impressed. She says she's very impressed this charter. It's going great. I want to remind the audience she's the one that hired that chef that served nachos that were heated in a microwave. Yeah. So we trust her opinion. She's also the one that

watched Dushka cook those dry pork chops in that pan. She's the one that... Come on, team. She's the one that broiled the oysters with the rest of the sea rats. And she's the one that almost killed that hippie couple that came aboard. All right. So the toys are put out. That hot dog, if they want to not feel sick.

And that plane is flying so low. While we're going to war. Can I do a meanwhile? Yeah. Meanwhile, Chef Jack and Natalie go over the menu for the night. Yeah. And we learned dinner will represent Chef Jack's culinary kind of journey. So he's going to begin with Frodo's rabbit stew.

Okay. Where is he going to go next? Something like, I don't know, a salad from where the elves live. Oh, okay. Yeah, like a Rivendell Caesar. Yeah. And at some point they're going to eat that crusty bread that they're so tired of you know golem throws it all over the edge starts an in a bit of an infight between the two of them

no but dinner is going to be a journey on a plate uh from michelin star executive before he was ready to fleeing to the orient and um it's all going to be there unfolding in an edible arrangement. And I joke, we'll get to it. One of the more impressive dinners we've seen in recent memory. Oh, wow. Laura the Sea Rat, more like Laura Croft. Love it.

My God. Sometimes they just come to you. You don't think about it. Tomb Raider. That's your name. That's your name, Miss Croft. I think I know where you're going with this little setup here, Dale. It's nothing to do with lesbian.

It wasn't going to do anything. No, no, no. It was the next part of the show where she's pulling up the anchor. You're bringing the anchor home and you pull up a cinder block. I was just going to talk about her jumping down and getting the rope out of the propeller. Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah.

Yeah. That was awesome too. Very impressive. Yeah. No, she's an impressive young woman. Can I tell you the only unimpressive part about that is not calling up to captain Sandy to alert her to not turn on the engines because, Oh yeah.

Uh, that those propellers would, uh, do what ginsu knife would do a human being yeah yeah she'd be her fucking arm would be over there her leg would be over there her fucking head would be up there yeah very powerful machinery the dolphins of the home of the dolphins uh portofino would come and they would have a field day with the carcass of lower craft yeah well it was like fred the dolphin would tell Tina the dolphin, he'd be like,

hey, I kind of feel guilty about eating this, you know, but it's a free meal. And then Tina reminds him, he's like, hey, we didn't kill anybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Tina would go, you know, people always say that we're the closest to them,

but really they're closer to other. And listen, just because we have sex for pleasure doesn't mean that you can't eat their dead bodies and and what's the dolphin's name fred fred would be like you know what tina you were right and and he would say i am so grateful that you are my friend and it's he's constantly reminded of what a rock solid dolphin she is in his life yeah Yeah. I love anthropomorphizing animals with you. It's one of my favorite fun times. Let's get to a promotion.

Oh, yeah. I have. Okay. All right. So I didn't know that this was going to take place this season, but it turns out that Jason is playing a very important role in this season. He signed off on you, so. Yeah.

How bad could you be? Yeah. He liked you. I like Luca. Like I said, he's a bag of, what is he a bag of? Something hot? Yeah. He's a hot tamale.

He's a hot tamale. He's a, he's a hot little tamale. I dare. I say it might be a pretty responsible of him to let Sandy know. Hey, Sandy, I know I'm good looking, but I could,

I could kill it, but I could kill. Yeah. I don't know what I'm doing. Right. Right. Right. Fake it till you make it.

Yeah. You know, fake it till you make it. You can't do that in certain professions though not this one neurosurgeon that's a bad one definitely not i couldn't do it no let's get to dinner all right what a meal we have first up truffle risotto with soft herbs, followed by really my only critique of the lineup, the dish that should have absolutely kicked things off, salmon and cream cheese ballantine with beetroot and a coral twine.

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that's all lowercase that's all one word to get free shipping and 30 off your first order go to microdose.com use code bad tv to get free shipping and 30 off your first order links can be found in the show description but again that's microdose.com code bad tv this guy not only is throwing out elevated Dorsey affair, he's doing it cool, calm and collected. This is not your typical surf and turf horse shit. It is Dorsey elevated.

It is not quite edible, but it is, of course it's edible. I'm kidding, but it's, it's fair that these people are, I mean, fireworks are going off you know what i mean and you can't do anything too challenging you know you don't you don't want

to serve congee to these people well they're foodies after all dylan right yeah but um yeah i think he's just doing a great job now before we get to the other uh dishes hayley is called to decorate a party and she cannot do this because i think she said the only thing she knows about decorating a party is how to do ecstasy well she names a couple things i think she's been to one of these edm things you know where the kids go you know yeah uh and uh she thinks they have beads there neon lights and some ecstasy and she's only tried. I believe she was referring to Adel beads. She is weird. All right.

You ever done ecstasy? I did it once. Yeah. In college and the fucking payback. So you're at the high, I'm in heaven floating around. Sure. Sure.

Wanting to touch everybody's hands. Yeah. You're with the cherubs plucking harp strings. Ah, wake up at one in the afternoon. next day yeah fell into the deepest darkest yeah mindset of my goddamn life that lasted two days right right right twice the time that i'm flying in heaven yeah get the blades out of here i can't see the next thing time that thing was offered to me i said fuck that shit yeah i miss ecstasy so much the last time i was really really on drugs was probably ecstasy i was on my uh i was on my best man's shoulders in the front of a david getta concert and i know that's a little embarrassing but we were

singing kelly roland and david getta together on top of one another. You know how the rugrats would all get on top of one another like a duster and they became one superhuman? That was kind of like us in that moment. Wow, so it sounds like a great experience. Oh, it was a great experience. Ran into the girl I lost my virginity to. That was

awkward. Because... Did you ask her if you could touch her hair? No. She had found out that I had lied about my sexual prowess after having sex with me a second time. She was like, oh, this guy's never had sex before in his life

and we never spoke again. But I saw her again that night and she was like, hi. And I was like, hi. And that is a personal story that may get cut because it's not pertinent to the show we're covering. I think it's absolutely pertinent. So next dish is pork cheek with Calvados jus.

Jus, sorry. This is... It's just a fancy name for sauce. This is... I want to eat this plate of food. This is like one of the first plates of food... I remember this dish.... is i want to eat this plate of food this is like one of the first plates of food i remember this dish that i want to eat um using calvados to to to make a fancy sauce uh pork jowl or pork cheek is is i mean it's it's a an unctuous indulgent piece of protein i don't even know what it was sitting on but the emulsification

was absolutely perfect i mean the guy is knocking it out of the fucking park um can i just call it apple liqueur jew no natalia that sounds absolutely horrible hey it's worth mentioning at this point in the meal procession, the primary says, no mistakes yet. Oh, it's really positive of you. Positive of you. Yeah. You do not like this guy. I want to know if it's colored by his friendship with Sandy.

Oh, it is. Okay. Yeah. Thank you for letting me know that. Yeah, 100%. So Jess is moved to leading service while the Sea Rats rush to get the party together. This had the energy of a chihuahua on bath salts. It was absolutely insane.

Natalia says this is crackhead energy in a kind of Leonidas kind of call, you know? And it was crackhead energy. Now, I was very concerned because this move was suspect. But I have to say, for whatever reason, she pulled it off. Yeah, kind of. Because Brooke, the heiress to the Sprouts Empire, is called up. She just begins blending red wine in people's cups.

Also, the cups that they are drinking out of, the wine glasses that they are drinking out of the wine glasses that they are drinking out of are the most absurd ornate disgusting glasses i don't understand that's not fine dining fine dining wine glasses are there all all it means is if you drop it it'll crack into a billion pieces as opposed to like 16 you know we don't need rivulets and patterns and shit and peacocks and crystal it's just it really drives me nuts the vessel of wine is really important to me that's why i hate the golden goblet so we ever uh get the honor of being on one of these yachts filmed for Below Deck, I will bring my own wine glasses on because I like my wine glasses very thin.

Yeah. Next up, Octopus Chorizo with a saffron aioli. Incredible, traditional, classic. Branzino with heirloom tomatoes and a burrata cheese. You know, this is how you do tomatoes and cheese. Now, we had the Caprese, and sure, that's disgusting, but it's not disgusting. Obviously, a Caprese is delicious, but just within the context of this show, it makes me sick. But this is how you do tomatoes and cheese. You balk convention. You say, oh, I can't pair cheese with fish. Well, watch this. It's a perfectly crispy branzino

with beautiful summer tomatoes and a luscious mouthfeel that came from dairy. And you're going to slop it all up, aren't you, doctor? I mean mean the guy's just knocking it out of the park um it's at this point where he says that he's going to take him back to los angeles as though he is some kind of oompa loompa with no agency and he is going to start a restaurant with him um this is kind of like the pinnacle of opportunity for a sea rat to trick a benefactor into thinking that you are human and then take their money. You know, that's how you get out of this industry. Guaranteed a job for a year. Yeah. That thing, you burn that thing to the ground. And then you may flee back to the ocean, but who knows? So all in all, I would say this is a 93 pot dinner wow yeah really really good now i don't know if

we've we'll have to talk to sarah the archivist if she's sandra sandra yeah check and see if that's dylan's highest i don't know if she's still working with us i think um nick might have been paying her 500 a week which might have been why there was a little bit of contention around the archives. But I don't know, Sandra, if you're still with us. So big ships,

little ships, but no ships like friendships. They dance, they drink. And Natalia does an exorcism of Emily Rose back bend. My God, that was impressive. Yes,

it was. My hip flexors are so tight. I don't think I could get under the second level down of the, what do you even call that thing? What do you call that? Hell if I know, you know, the bar that you go under.

Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Oh, what the bar you're calling? What is it called? When you go in limbo, limbo, the limbo,

is it called the limbo? What am I? People? Someone's punching their steering wheel right now. I think it's a limbo. Yeah. Do the limbo. Hey,

and do the limbo. And then everybody goes under the bar called the limbo. So they go down at three o'clock in the morning, but not before Nat calls her boyfriend and asks if he's had sex with anybody. Yeah. It says never asked that question. Who are you?

Yeah. What's that? The, what's that book called? The gray or something. Uh, what was that book that some, are we going to cause another steering wheel punch here? What's going on? Oh my God. Dorian Gray?

Was that his name? The characters? They wrote like three books. He's like, he looks in the mirror. No, not that. I'm talking about like it's a recent book that I'm sure is a piece of shit, but it was this girl obsessed with this guy that was her boss, and he took her on anyway.

Oh, Fifty Shades of Grey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. I don't think this guy's that guy. No, but he acts like it. Mm-hmm. Oh, actually, no. And speaking to Natalia,

I think he actually is that guy. Oh. Yeah. I think he is that guy. Yeah. You don't want to live with that guy. Did that franchise do well? It had to. They made three of had to they made three of them they made three of them i i did it do well who cares about jamie dornan are people getting hot and sopped up for jamie dornan is

that the actor yeah i think it's a good looking guy all right so next day next morning last day of the charter natalia is going to be switching to the deck team, and the chef is going to be making a quiche. Can I just say something? I don't want my eggs served in thick blocks. Oh. And that's exactly what quiche is, once it's parceled out. Yeah.

It's pretty gross. I hate quiche. You do? Uh-huh. I love a quiche. Yeah? I absolutely adore a quiche. Such do? Uh-huh. I love a quiche. Yeah? I absolutely adore a quiche. Such a versatile vessel for eggs.

You know, it's no different than a frittata or a tortilla. I'm always down with a kind of thick layer of egg. You know, a little goat cheese. Yeah, I mean, really, you can put whatever in it, and these guests love it because it is an easy thing to pull off. The scouser says a monkey with no eyes could make a quiche, and that is a sad picture.

Because he doesn't. Give me the knife. He doesn't. Hey, hand Jerry the knife. No, he's a monkey, and he's blind, and there's children here. No, no, no, but he doesn't say blind. He says a monkey with he's blind and there's children here. No, no, no, no, no. But he doesn't say blind. He says a monkey with no eyes, which is exponentially more of a bummer. I love monkeys.

I mean, what the fuck happened to him? Was he born that way or did some get a hold of him? Well, probably another feuding tribe that lives across the river. Yeah. Saw that document. Yeah. Let's make a Netflix documentary about how fucking monkeys rip each other's eyes out.

What does it say that we tune in? All right. Laura Croft, MVP again, stops the anchor watch with the urgency required. that brick goes up into the guts of that ship i don't know what happens but it's probably not good uh the first thing that would happen is it would have been pulled up into that and hit a piece of steel and then would have broken into pieces and fallen back down into davey's. But I appreciated the tension of that.

What I had an issue with was there was a fucking arm there. What do you mean? Oh, yeah. Some of our listeners, Barnacles, by the way, get in our Facebook group. They theorize that this is the work of Captain Glenn. That was a fresh cinder block down there. That was a fresh cinder block. I've seen cinder blocks that

have been submerged in water for a number of years i know a cinder block and how its age i could be uh an expert on a trial or something that cinder block was sitting in the ocean for about two weeks why was a cinder block sitting in the middle of the ocean. Why do you say that word like that? Which one? Cinder. Yeah. Cinder block. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but it was fresh,

and I love the Barnacles theorizing that it was the Night Slayer himself. And let's do remind everybody that they should get into the Facebook group because the Facebook group is a really, really fun place. The Facebook group is a place where our fans... The barnacles get to chat it up. The barnacles can inflate their egos to a high enough level

that they think that they can come at the hosts. Is that right? And let's remind all the barnacles that I'm not going to say that, but it's bizarre. No, I do want it to be one of those forums, Dylan, that people can rest at ease, that they can share their thoughts and not be blocked or judged. Right, right, right. So you want it to be like more of a democracy and I'm kind of... I want it to be like Twitter. Oh, okay, okay. Because I'm kind of thinking more of an ancient Egypt type of rule wherein if you do say anything about the gods of the page, you will be summarily executed in a way where your brains are pulled

out through your nose. That's my kind of... That's my happy place. you will be summarily executed in a way where your brains are pulled out through your nose. That's my kind of, that's my happiest place. Is there a can't have everything though. So please get in that Facebook group and speak freely. Speaking of our fans, let's take a quick break to talk about some iTunes ratings and reviews.

We've needed some help over the past couple of weeks because we've gotten some one stars. Yes. One stars about me being an anti-vaxxer despite having more mrna technology swimming in my body than i know what to do with but but we do have a great review here from night shift 21 the uh title is called great it's five stars one of my favorite pods love these guys that is concise that is beautiful and that is the kind of validation that us two soft soft boys need another one from fb fug very entertaining love the show love the banter between the hosts laugh out loud funny this is from penny from upper michigan guys we love you so much please continue to support the show on the itunes ratings reviews. Thank you so much. How close are we to getting 1,700 reviews? Because that makes us big time if we hit that 17 mark.

Ooh, we are very, very close. How close? Pretty, pretty close. Well, give me a number, man. 100. Oh, 100. Yeah. All right.

Well, you got a job to do, Barnacles or listeners. The least you can do if you're not paying us for that Patreon thing. This week, we got a job to do barnacles or listeners. The least you can do if you're not paying us for that Patreon thing. This week, we got to reach 1,700. So head on over to another Below Deck podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us five stars. And if you listen on Spotify, leave the five stars there as well. We love you guys for doing that.

So we have to get to the night out. Well, we got to let the boat dock first, Del. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. What am I doing uh a hundred percent well uh one note on that brick knife do they not have an exacto knife on deck or something so that was interesting because you should you should have a knife to cut any one of those lines at any given time because right as we've seen on this show sometimes it can find its way around some

dumb sea rat's leg and throw them into the fucking ocean yeah uh and you should be able to cut that goddamn thing off with a knife in like two seconds and not like uh not a bread knife you need a blade that can hold up to like ocean lines exactly you know uh that's my first thought second thing and again i love lara croft lara cro, when you did cut the cinder block off the anchor, why let it fall back down to the ocean again to get another anchor from another boat to just hook itself on there? Pull it out. Pat, you're being too hard on Lara Croft. Am I really?

Yeah, you're being way too hard on Lara Croft. Okay, fair enough. But I would say, and this is, again, too high of a bar to set for her, but if she'd been watching the show and she was paying attention, she could have seen that that block was likely tied to a string of crimes. And that Cinda block should probably be scrubbed, you know. For DNA. Yeah, 100%.

Ah, the salt would have washed it off, man. That's like bleach. Perfect crime. So, Laura is schvitzing over Luca. She says, God, he is so hot. She wishes she was straight. listen, I understand having a aesthetic appreciation for people of the sex that you're not attracted to, but to get all hopped up is a different thing entirely. Well,

you never found a man very good looking. Yeah. I think that's why I'm by. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Keanu does that for me. I just think he is such a beautiful creature inside and out inside and out would i fuck him no right well that's because you're lame and straight exactly yeah uh all right so the docking goes well the coolest captain there ever was um says the um says the charter guest that you love so much he says that natalia did a great job and um says that the chef does uh does um you take it away he says yeah you did a great job and uh hey buddy uh here's my number i think uh you can come work for me yeah he rubs his head he says uh i'd like to put you in my suitcase come start a restaurant with you yeah uh so the um tip meeting yeah the tip meeting well hayley first tells laura to lick her balls and then we get to the tip meeting it's little moments like these that

uh create um they have a compounding effect and they build up a fortress of enjoyment that the show really, really needs. We saw it with Below Deck Down Under, with Harry and Margo, Asha's, you know, Frasier's, the little quips. The show needs to be dotted with them. Yes. But yes, we have a tip meeting to get to. Yeah. Well, Sandy tells the crew that I see things, okay?

I see things. Sandy thinks the team's killing it. I do as well. And then she reminds everybody, it's Brooks' last day. Yeah. And here's my theory of this. Someone from her family called from Sprouts and said, my daughter wants to be on the show.

And they said, who are you? She said, I own Sprouts. And they said, okay. It's like when the singer of Whitesnake has a kid and the kid loves American Idol. Next thing you know, guess's uh waiting to not getting to skip the line uh for 12 hours to sing in front of katie perry white snake's daughter okay yeah that's what happened here this is nepotism that is still really after all these years really pissing you off huh oh man just because you're this white

snake space player and your daughter wants to be on American Idol, you don't get skipped a line, man. Yeah. You wait out there in the heat of that arena. If the show was popular, you wouldn't be able to. But on the 74th season of American Idol, who are the judges? Lionel Richie, Luke Bryan, and Katy Perry. And Lionel Richie's dead, right?

Almost. He's reanimated. Yeah. Yeah, his face is scary. You know who I saw today that I was like a cryptkeeper. I saw you remember Chris Matthews crossfire.

He's not dead. He always has spit on the corner. Of course, I mean holy you saw him today. I saw him on a news broadcast. They were talking about something. They were talking about Speaker McCarthy getting ousted. I mean, it was absolutely insane what took place today. We got

people pulling fire alarms. I mean, it is nuts in American politics right now. So let's get ready for the night out on a 22 K 18 18 each. Bam Bam Natalia comes over to Luca in only

a towel loved it this was so goddamn hot well she says do you know what the shampoo is Natalia I think you can do a little bit better than that that's a little that's a little Austin Powers for you

yeah you're too hot to be flirting like that you know um so laura likes women because she doesn't like men well she shares her journey for self-acceptance yeah and she started eating beaver pat Patrick. You said the same thing. I just said it differently. I get why she fell out of favor with men. We're disgusting. We're disgusting. Do you know,

balls are disgusting. And they're long. Eventually, yeah. You shit on them. So she is a big fan of turning straight girls gay she also doesn't speak english all that well because she spoke so much africans um natalie and luca have a little sit down uh luca's a confident little guy he says i'll see your ass one day that is the confidence of a coxman this man has laid waste to the mediterranean yes i will say i finally saw a flaw with lu. This man has laid waste to the Mediterranean. Yes.

I will say I finally saw a flaw with Luca and he has a really stupid tattoo. Oh yeah. Really? What was it up? Couldn't make it out. Okay. It was big and it was dumb. Well,

pot. I think it was an Eagle or a bird. Okay. Kettle. Me pot. I'm not an ornith a bird. Okay. Kettle made pot. I'm not an ornithologist. Is that what those are? Yeah. But what you are is somebody with the worst tattoos,

perhaps of all time. You have a tattoo on your hip that says rocking. That's true. But I was really drunk that night when i did that and i so regretted that yeah i have a friend that got uh in ornate cursive lettering only god knows why across his collarbone um and that is the only thing that even compares to your tattoo of rocking on your hip. It's sexy, though. It draws attention to that hot little body of yours.

Oh, yes. All right. So, Natalia's boy. Well, Haley says, do you guys want to see my tits? Completely unsolicited. And then she just shows the tits. There you go. That's pretty cool. Like I mentioned, sad to see that we didn't see night one go off like an explosion but we we need to pace ourselves a little bit yes we do natalia's boyfriend texts he says don't ask

me any questions well he asks her questions and this is the hypocrisy of these uh dorian gray's kind of charles dickens sex addicts right the? The gall of you to tell Natalia not to ask you about the women you're fucking and then you check in on what's going on. Any hot guys on the boat? Fuck off, dude.

I hope you're listening. You're a scumbag. I don't care how much money you have. You know what you don't have? Enough. That's what you don't have. You're lost. you're on the river sticks you piece of shit don't treat people like this okay oh is that too much not at all

too aggressive you deserve that i don't think he's listening though i don't think so either he's probably doing blood play with a uh a sex trafficked uh person You know what he's probably doing? He probably just got off of Mary Merce, like cargo ship, and he just, he was picking people out. Is that right? Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I don't think the guy's a good guy. So next day, next day, he has to sprout heads out. And again, I have to say to be kicked off the boat is, it's astounding to me. Then heads aboard. It's astounding. Toomey then heads aboard.

It is her destiny to be a chief stew. And we know why she was brought aboard this vessel to be a chief stew. Why is that? Is Hot Captain getting commission for this season? Because he has hired this entire boat at this point. Yeah. Hot captain Jason said she's solid. Yeah.

And Sandy was like, well, Jason said that she was great. So that's why I hired her. Wow. You don't deal. Let me just back up for one second. If I can,

I've noticed one thing that happens here. People walk off the dock onto this boat. Like you could just walk on it. I mean, you could just have anybody walk on this boat. How about a drawbridge or a fucking, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like you're talking about like dangerous, like those Libyans could walk on this boat. Anybody can walk on the boat. No one's even looking anyway. Dumb. That was dumb for me. That's okay. Listen, I've said a lot of dumb stuff tonight. Um, spicy right on the boat. No one's even looking. Anyway, dumb. That was dumb for me. That's okay. Listen, I've said a lot of dumb stuff tonight. Spicy right off the rip.

She tells Natalia after hearing that she lives in Miami that she would never live in Miami. That's right. Yikes. That's one of those little. Did you say that intentionally? Yeah. Or. Yeah.

Nothing to worry about, though. To me is just wanting to set boundaries and she is a little worried. One could say paranoid because she had a chat with Kyle who obviously got to believe him in his kind of

sassy gay way. Yeah, he's like a like he's like a gay sidekickkick in a disney movie you know but but it's like if scar was iago right you know so i think he manipulates this entire thing against natalia but to be fair to to me when to me sits down with natalia natalia is not subservient to the hierarchy in any way shape or form she gets right in to me's face well i don't think it's all on to me no no it's a little bit of miscommunication on both both part uh i do want to say though before they got to this scene she showed her like the sun deck and like something trivial about a basket of sunscreen and uh to me has a problem with that

and natalia actually looks at the camera like breaking the fourth wall like the fucking office yeah yeah can you believe this that was that was such a halpert glare yeah and they left it in shockingly but that was her looking like oh boy yeah uh and yes and then they finally sit down and boy right off the right on the boat yeah it's a shit show and was it deserving of it to be continued? Of course not. But it will be continued next week. Join us next week.

Subscribe to the show. Tell your friends. Tell your family. Steal credit cards. Go to patreon.com for Love is Blind. Join us on Bad TV for Golden Bachelor. We love that show. Follow us on socials.

That's it for me. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat, say goodbye. Later, dudes. Love