Another Below Deck Podcast - The Evil Grimace | Below Deck Med S11 E9

Episode Date: August 4, 2026

Dylan and Pat are back to break down Universal Studios, tattoos, glyphosate, Clamato, Keke Palmer, sushi, taste buds, cream of wheat, sleep deprivation, cave diving and more from Bravo's Below Deck Mediterranean PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Kat makes fun of Jen a brief moment where Jen goes, I can't believe she is my Chief Stu. Chief Stu's that I've worked with have been in the yachting industry for over a decade. Over a decade, I was 12, I was over a decade ago, I was 12 years old. And Kat goes, yeah, and Luke was 25. Great comeback. Hi, hello and welcome to Bad TV. I'm Dill.

That's Pat. Permission to come aboard. KK's here too. The Kiki Palmer of our show. Kiki Palmer. Yeah, he has Kiki Palmer energy. I loved her in Nope. I loved her and Nope.

I love her and everything. You know, I didn't know that she was a child actor. Yeah, Nope's one of those You Didn't Get It movies. No, I got it. It was horrible. She was great. No, I know, but there are staunch defenders that go with the You Didn't Get It defense a lot. You know what?

Drives me nuts, man. You know what? I didn't care to get it. Okay. Universal Studios. Fuck is that thing in the air. When you go on. What's going on.

On the Universal tour, which is wonderful. This is where the Jaws, Sharr comes out of the water at the, you know, the tram tour, that same ride. They have a nope. You're talking about the tram? The tram. Love the tram.

You know, Godzilla tries to push over the tram. The little village floods and jaws comes down. And then it ends with nope. Now that I don't think if that makes any sense. It doesn't. But we're not here to talk about Universal Studios, California. A nightmare.

Hell on Earth. No, I hear it's fantastic. You know, they've got the Hogwarts stuff. They've got the Simpson stuff. Oh, my God. I have a season pass. Do they have Nintendo things? Kiki, have you ever been?

Yeah, I used to go every weekend when I was a kid. Have you seen Fast and Furious? Oh, they got the Fast and Furious thing now. They're drifting. They're drifting. The mummy killed. someone recently. In Florida. In Florida. That's a good ride.

The Hogwarts one makes me sick. Yeah, with the big screen and the stuff moving around, I get sick. I just do. I have a sensitive tummy. Start over. No? We're here to talk about below deck, baby. We had an amazing episode of this show. Oh, you're getting your knots. No.

This season keeps delivering. Every episode, it's something else. The dynamics of the crew are fascinating. Nate's incompetence is fascinating. We've got so much stuff here this season. And I just want to say to the people working on Bravo, thank you. I want to, actually, I want to applaud.

Working on Bravo, working on below deck up, but thank you. I want to applaud casting. I judged you at first. I believe it's a husband and wife. Yeah. I did not want Nate on my TV. screen. I definitely did not want Joe. No. And as I've seen in the preview, this is not a spoiler.

We're going to have Max back on our television screen. But given what you've done so far, I think that may have been a good decision based on your track record. Yeah, I'm excited for Joy to just speak openly about how much she hates her own people. The French are so annoying. It's going to be a lot of fun. So tonight we have an episode of this show. I think so. If you want to support us at Patreon,

you can go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. The flight of the Phoenix here is still open. That's right. And I think we're going to do a show called The Double Lives of suburban wives. This is couples in in middle America that in their own free time

do like adult stuff to support their marriages. Yeah, they fucking... Right. Right. It's like those Mormon wives, but a little bit smutier. Right?

It's on TLC. Yeah. We might do. They're fucking fucking the shit out of each other on camera. That's right. But then they're also like taking their kids to school. That's right. And it's going to, I think it's going to keep a nation help.

Hey, come on over to the house. We're throwing a barbecue. And then, you know, you go over. You go, I think, were you guys banging in front of that fireplace in the last video? Yeah, that's where we, you know, it's going to hold a nation spellbound. And so will our recap. So sign up right now because I'm going to cap our Patreon subscribers. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are we doing it for Patreon? Yeah. Oh, we're going to do it for Patreon. Yeah. So you've got to sign up now. I'm only going to allow. 300 new patrons that's it and then we're capping it and the reason we're doing that is because

we've read the Warren Buffett books we know business there's only 300 spots let's get into the show uh Kalin pick up the energy um the back's gone out yeah turnover the knives are out is a pig in shit. He will take this opportunity and run with it, dare I say, step over Nate's balding head to get to that bozic position. Nate was really, Nate was a tough watch tonight. Jen was a great watch tonight. We had oremeters.

And we have Aisha who just continues to be. the, I don't, Pat and I feel differently about Asia. No, I love Kermen. Okay. It's her voice that's annoying and her constant talk of scatting. Okay. Her voice is lovely. It is from a land down under.

The attitude on display from Asia being told, hey, this deck crew is a fucking nightmare. We need you to scrub steps and have a good attitude. Of course, she's in. We know that you went to bed at 3 o'clock in the morning watching these fucking screens, even though you're the Chief Stu. Actually, we need you up three hours before you're supposed to. Nate just threw his back out like a geriatric. Up, no problem. No problem.

She's fucking awesome. We have a fun group of people and we have Kaylee being thrust into the Chief Stu position tonight. I thought it was a magnificent episode. I'm going to give it 14 pots. 14 pots. Seems a little low. No? I love this episode.

as well, because as you pointed out, turnover is what's needed for a season of Blowdeck. You shouldn't have an entire season of a single C rat. What's wrong with you? Nothing. I was just staring really intently at you. Yeah, you make me nervous. I don't like to make eye contact with my co-hosts. I was really staring at him.

Okay. I don't want to be mean to the charter guess, but I think I'm. it was, I think it was Kaylee when she said, you guys look like you belong on a yacht. And I thought, if the strip club was called belong to a yacht, I'd agree with her. Yeah. Because they look like they sell crystal meth.

But they're nice. No, I don't think they look like they sell crystal meth. They're tat people. You know, tat people. They love them. Leave some ink for pens. Children use pens. Yeah. You have to think about the kids when you're taking up all the ink and saying shoot it into my body.

I actually cover up my face. Do it on my penis. I want the ink everywhere. Okay. You have to remember the children. But when crack dealers... So sorry. Yeah, you should be.

What are you thinking about picking it up? Well, it was spam. Sorry. Okay. So the answer was still yes. Yeah. Okay. crack dealers we go to San Bernardino, right?

There's no kind of artistry to it. It's a dirty clothes kind of frenetic more. These people are very in the pocket, okay? They're just trying to have a good time. And that one guy, I think, actually shoves his thumb up a girl's ass, who's not the person that he's dating. So that'll be actually fun to watch. Or to recap.

I give it 14 pots. How many pots do you give it? I'm going to give it. Well, I'm not done giving my thoughts. Okay. Okay. The orometer was fun. Yep. I'm going to give the history of Grimmis, by the way.

Jen is Grimmis. Grimmis is evil. His first name was evil Grimmis in the history of Grimmis. I follow McDonald's lore. I was a child of the 80s. Grimmis, the hamburger, they are evil people. They steal milkshakes from children. Okay?

All right. What else when I say? Oh, Nate's situation. Okay. This is kind of a narrative perspective problem because to me I've always thought that Ronald McDonald was the evil one. No, he looked creepy. Okay.

Grimmis is, his first name is evil? Evil grimace. Wow. Yeah. He's a blob. Okay. We'll get into it. Okay.

Nate, he is, I don't think I'm going to come back as a Bosen. He will. he's on Sandy's chopping block and I always warn people if you want to keep your job do not get on your supervisors by the way radar how uneven is that chopping block she's tried to I mean she just can't lop the head off the patience on display from one Sandy Vaughan this guy is I mean it's a fucking charity case for the ages it is going what do you do it you got to let me know oh yeah sorry Oh, you're back.

Oh, we got to get you. I mean, he just, he wants to get fired so badly. Hmm. You think this is subconscious sabotage? No, no, no, no. I think he's, I think he's just having a tough go. Okay. Just had a baby, it's tough.

Here's what you got to do when you're at a job that you're getting paid at that you'd like to keep. Maybe you don't care about it, but you want to get paid. Okay. Blend in like fucking Waldo. Do not step on toes. He's obviously doing that. Do not try and stand out in any way. Don't make friends with you.

supervisors. Okay? Because once you start fucking up, Sandy starts going, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, where are the towels? Little shit like that. And then the next thing you know,

she calls you up to the fucking bird's nest and says, is everything okay? Yeah. You're talking about wings melting. That's right. Yep. Too close to the sun.

Well, let's get into it. 14 knots. All right. No, you can't get the same knots as me. It was a great episode. Okay, fine. So we start off a man down and a boats and missing. Nathan heads back to the boat after running two hours late with zero communication.

He's just, what a fucking jammy dodger this guy is? He heads inside and he goes, oh, sorry about that. What? First, his crew is like, hey, where have you been? And he goes, don't fucking look at me or I'll punch you in the fucking face. Don't make direct eye contact me. Don't look at each other. Don't look at each other.

Don't make jokes. Don't do anything or I'll punch in the face. Then he goes upstairs to Sandy. And she goes, what happened? He goes, oh, you know, family stuff. She goes, you're two hours late. You haven't said anything. He goes, oh, yeah, that's, that is my bad.

I am so sorry. Okay, I want to say this. The reason why. She says you didn't call me. He says, that's a good point. this is the first time I'm hearing this. They probably mentioned this. Gail moved on the other side of the world,

leaving her support system, which is her entire family. What I mean? It's the first time they've mentioned it. Well, the first time I heard it. I didn't realize that she just came here to be filmed on television with this idiot, leaving her entire support system.

She should have just stayed where she was with all her family to help her with this fucking baby. Right. Instead, she came here with zero support to live, I don't, a mile from this boat with this knucklehead. Yeah. This show films for like six weeks. Yeah. She should have just said, I'll see you in six weeks, loser.

No, I know. But that would make perfect sense. But thank God. Yeah. These idiots make these poor life decisions because it's amazing television. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm making my own point. Thank you.

Can I say something really? quickly. I think you look amazing. I saw an Instagram comment on one of the recent videos that said, does this guy have only, does this guy only have one hat? And I go, what are they talking about? Pat's got a bunch of different hats. So I start scrolling through our videos.

And you've simply worn the same hat for I think a month and a half straight. Guys wear hats. I'm really pleased that you are here today showing off your luscious locks. How do I look? Fantastic. Yeah, you look great.

We did a screen test before we started. Will you, do me a favor and let it just go, salt and pepper, please? I am. Don't you see gray hair? No. No.

I'm 42 years old. Okay. And I am letting the gray go. I'm like George Clooney right now. Go to YouTube and subscribe. All right. Let's get to the preference sheet bidding. Hold on.

It's the time for... Hold on. Gail, who is beautiful, whose life has been ruined by this balding man. I follow her on Instagram. She is doing brand deals right now. Yeah. She is fucking killing it now that she's ditched this balding loser.

Support Gail. Preference sheet meeting? The preference sheet meeting. I'm going to need your help with this. Oh, I can help. There's tattoo people coming aboard this vessel. Yes. They want bud light and they want hand soap at the ready.

They're going to be shoving their fingers up each other's ass. That was unbelievable to me. They want a... He fucking popped a digit inside a woman's vagina. She said that went straight up my cuder. He said, oh my God, I thought you were somebody else. I want to tell you something. When I used to have to pick tomatoes as a little kid, that was my job down the street.

Yes. You had a Jack Kerouac kind of. of existence. Almost like if someone's seen the master, that's what Pat's life was like. Okay. Summer vacation after the sixth grade, we all showed up at a farm stand. They'd pick us up in a pickup truck. We'd jump on in back of it. They drop us off at like a fucking, I don't know, vineyard or whatever. And we'd start picking tomatoes. We would be poisoned by all the, what do you call it? The pharmacy, all the shit they spray. Pesticides. I'd come home after picking all day, I'd have headaches.

They'd be pounding my head. Anyway, this jackass that was a high school. The reason why our kids have autism is because of the glyphosate. That's right. It's the glyphosate. And I'm here today to say that the glyphosate should be sprayed on everything in America still, even though it's killing all of us. Maha.

Nice. Well, anyway. What did you think? Was that a good RFK? You killed it, dude. Really? And they tried to kill me while I was picking at this fucking farm. Anyway, my point about getting fingers in your asshole.

Yeah. All us little kids, and this is like a shit story, we'd all be picking tomatoes and this prick that was a teenager when we weren't picking fast enough. You'd have to watch this teenager. He'd have his thumb out and he'd try and stick it up your butt and go, hitchhiker, if you weren't picking up fast enough. Yeah. Okay.

I think that was... Okay. Flag that. Thank you. And we'll do this. You're going to have to... And the first one. And the first one.

And this one. Do you know what a... A sexual assault. Okay. You know what? We're just going to move on. And this is like a... A.

A.Ster. He says. Sexual assault. Okay. Sorry, Kailin. You're out of your mind. Someone putting a digit up your butt while you're picking tomatoes.

Okay. All right. So that's the preference sheet. Oh, well, there's a jungle theme. Yeah, there's a jungle theme and there's a moment where they say that the charter guests are going to be looking for elite yacht service. And A she goes, elite yacht service. I think we can do that, eh? Yes, you can.

Captain Sandy is challenged at the moment because they're a man. Man down. Now they have a ton of inflatables. Who doesn't? You know? But because she's bearing the lead of a little bit, she goes, we've got so many inflatables. I need to get another person on deck. Oh, also last time we were a man down, we rammed the boat into a fucking ancient wall. But we get back to the, go ahead. Oh, I was going to say, so Sandy, yes. She calls Norma a couple times and unable to find a deck. And she starts thinking like, Let me call Nate up here. Hey, I think we'll get Kermit to help us. And Nate goes, yeah, let's fucking do it. And then they ask Kermit and she says, yeah, I'll do it. But under one condition, I want to reference farting 18 more times this season.

And they say deal. I'm kidding. She says, also, I want an opportunity to promote Kaley to be Chief Stu. And they go, yeah. That's, okay, that's fine. That's fine. Really quickly, though, before Nathan is brought up to the bridge, to give his hurrah.

We have him and a bit of a mutiny brewing. Oh, yes, blood in the water. So Nathan continues to not be that flustered by being just shitty at his job. And Joe, the power hungry, is starting to see that there are trails of opportunity here. Now, they're not doing things systematically. He's showing up two hours for a shift.

Cooper's starting to get pissed off. And Joe goes, I am in a position where I'm afforded an opportunity. Okay. I have him on my side. He's showing up late. I can kill him. That's exactly what he's going to attempt to do. Yes, points out a lack of professionalism and then gets on his soapbox and, yeah, we'll stab him in the back.

Yeah, 100%. So we get to the news. Asia is told that you're so good to Chief Stu, what we're going to make you do is go up on deck, heave lines, drop anchors, and wipe shit upstairs. And she says,

what we're going to do is Kaylee is going to be Chief Stu. And I know that you guys are going to knock it out of the park. And thus begins Jen Watch. Because Jen last episode said, I am turning over a new leaf. Okay? I'm going to be positive Jen. Kaelin?

You know how proactive he is? We didn't tell him to get that sound effect ready. He didn't? I get it ready every week from now on. I'm glad I finally got to play. It's been a while. Yeah.

He's the Kiki Palmer of the show. So, Jen mentioned that she's going with the departure of Kronk. She's going to be happy now. But the problem is, that useless bitch, Kaylee, has gotten the chief stoop position. and now she is, her aura is getting read. Now, luckily for her, she knows how to climb back.

She went to Bali and read a book on how to make your aura purple. So she's going to be okay. Well, she got inspired to become the McDonald's character, Grimmis. And here's where I will teach the audience. Because I think she got there. Fun fact about Grimmis, he's evil. He stole milkshakes from children. He's a blob made out of dead tongue.

Look it up. True story. No. Fact check that, please. Is he made up a dead tongues? I'm going to look up that one. All right. He's a tongue or something. He's a tongue that fell out of people's mouths or something.

No? Something like that. No. It's close. I can't imagine it is. I was a big fan. Big fan. Really?

Yeah. I mean, how do you define a blob? Well, you just refer to its shape. You don't talk about what it's made of. Oh, it's a shape. A blob? Yeah, it's a form. We've just talking about that it's made out of fucking tongues. It has to be made

of something. Kaelin? So far I'm just seeing that he's covered And he was originally covered in purple Fur with forearms To hold multiple stolen drinks. Okay, so he is a thief. He's evil. He is a rat fank. Is his first name

Evil? He debuted as the evil Grimmis. Oh, okay. The milkshake stealing monster with forearms and a badass. With the Hambler. Ham burglar. Yes. Also evil. Well, basically they're criminals.

They're stealing from people and it's not okay. Okay, did you have anything else? No, that's it. Okay, so the tattoo people get there and... Oh, wait. Before they get there. Nate, text, Gale, I miss you. I want to tell this young man.

Not working. That doesn't work. Nope. It's not what you text. It's what you do, you do, you dummy. Speaking of text, Asia text, Scott, you goes,

can you believe this? He goes, that's amazing, babe, but let's not pretend you haven't going your hands dirty, eh? You're talking about shit, I think. Yeah, they were.

And then Kermit coaches up Kaley on how to greet guests, basically lie to them. Oh, you're from Florida. Florida, I love inbred trash. No, nope, you can't say that. That's not elite yacht service. This is what you do.

Oh, my God, you're from Florida. I hear the weather's incredible. You know what? You belong on a yacht. That's how you do it. So the tattoo people get there and as a kind of welcome, like a welcome gift to their arrival.

Nathan shatters their belongings on the ground. They've clearly gone shopping have some tourist knickknacks. As they're getting their luggage out, Nathan drops the entire bag

of shit on the ground. You hear many things break. And Aisha says, I know. So, that's how the vacation begins, but I like these people. When you're on a yacht, you want some light fucking beer,

okay? Somebody asks for a Caesar. I'm not sure what the hell that is. I think it's some fucking gross version of a Bloody Mary or something. Probably got mayo in it or something. I'm not sure. Kaelin, can you look it up? These people could not be more polite or nicer or easygoing. They're lovely.

They really are lovely. Now, Kaley is really hanging and banging with the guests, and Asia is struggling to not micromanage. And we get a little Sierra history with Asia. And she used to be a deckhand. Yeah, but some guy, like, wanted to do a side business making a, a wood shop there, I guess, like shaving, whole pieces of wood making canoes or some shit. She said, fuck this shit.

Right? Galen, what's the Caesar? A Caesar or Bloody Caesar is a Canadian drink made with vodka, Clamato, hot sauce, and Worcestershire sauce. Clamato. Oh, so. It's just a bloody mare with Clamato.

Which is what most bloody marries are made out of anyway. You go to an airport bar? They're making that fucking thing with Clamato. You go to a Chili's? That's Clamato, babe. Otherwise known as clam juice. You're not a Clamato guy. No.

What do you not like about it? I don't like anything out of the sea. That's not true. You like sushi. Not really. You do, though. Mm-mm. Yeah.

No. You like it, though. No. When we go out and you go to a nice sushi dinner, you like to rip it up like a little bitch. I order California rolls. Don't order California. I do.

What's that thing with the Albuquer? That's you when you go out. I'll do it. Can we get another leachy martini? What's that thing with the Albuquer? I like leachy martyis. Okay. So we get to Bobby.

He's a cool guy. He shoves his thumb up the vagina of one of his friends. And then we get to Joy. What a tough last charter. Suzanne was very challenging. She also lost her best friend. I don't want to talk about it. I love Joy.

Let's just move on from that. God damn it. Okay. Joy tells us it was a little rough. She lost her best friend. She's disappointed. She disappointed Suzanne and almost killed Coop. And I think only one of those things is a negative thing.

Almost killing Coop. Yeah. Okay. Got it. All right. Well, yeah. Yeah, disappointing Suzanne's not that bad because her entire life's been a disappointment. So she's used to it.

Okay. So toys all go out and there's a mutiny of foot. Nathan is making people unfurl things without the Crane. Cooper is starting to side with with little Wormwood Joe over here and Sandy heads down and goes like legitimately

you guys are fucking up and she looks at Nathan and goes you need to get your fucking shit together. You're here two hours late nothing right is going on down here where's the shower. Ah fucking that's a great point oh man Sandy thank you for bringing that up because we should have that out

he's he's doomed he's lucky his back got hurt because he would have been fired i'm telling you this is what happens when you've been on this show too long and you get to go to bravo con but asia crushes it i know because she's a good person yeah yeah and she knows what the deal is yep and she said this episode i don't plan on ever doing leaving no leaving this profession oh really didn't she say i always well she's never going to not be chief stew in her marriage i think is what she meant. Oh, she did. Okay. But get in the comments, let us know. So I feel really bad for Joe here, which is not a sentence. I'm going to say a lot. He is kind of dressed down by Sandy. She goes,

you need to fucking lead. And to Sandy, I'd say, lead who? You're going to lead Cooper and the chief stew? What are we talking about? Also, if I lead, he's going to say, if I ever do that again, he's going to slip my fucking throat. So I, I, What do you want me to do here? There needs to be a word for this, and it probably is in the dictionary, which is a place where you love to be, which is, but caught in the middle. Joe must love this, which is,

I'm glad you're put, I'm in this position, which is, I know I can lead, but I can't right now. Hmm. Is there a word for that? Like, kind of like a purgatory that you're happy about. Yes. I'm not sure if there's a word. Boy, did you put that word?

well. What's, what, what, what's, an enjoyable purgatory. What do you, what is that called? And also, Kaelin,

is grimace made of people's tongues? I did not find that, no. He's made of dead tongues. No, he's not. Yes, he is. Someone,

their tongue fell out in, on the sidewalk. He's like a Kronberg tongue. I don't know where I got that from. Okay. It was college. All right. So,

um, we've mentioned it. Aisha's out of, is unbelievable. Let's get to dinner. Jen is purple. She's doing good. She made a great table scape. Grimmis is not made out of tongues, but official corporate lore states he is a giant taste butt. So. Wow. You're really knocking it out of the park tonight.

I don't know what a taste butt is, but I believe it's part of a tongue. You don't know what a taste butt is? A taste butt is part of a tongue. We have four of them in our tongue. No, we have, I think thousands. No, we have four taste buds. We have sweet, no,

savory. No, no, no. Look it up. How many taste buds do we have? First, I just wanted to say an enjoyable purgatory is often called limbo, Elysium, or Eudesia. Elysium. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, Kailin, how many taste buds do we have? And let me just tell you, those are the tastes. Those are not the taste buds. Oh, the taste. We only have four tastes. Yeah, we have four. Some people say five. Salt, sweet, bitter, sour.

Right. Some people say savory is a fifth, also known as Umami. I was pretty right about the tongue thing, though. What? Okay. Yeah. How many taste buds do we have? On average between two and ten thousand.

Okay. Two. Pretty close. I'm sorry, between two thousand and ten thousand. Let's move on. Let's move on. But first. Dinner.

The wine isn't quite there. Scott says, Yeah, I mean, it's just not the same caliber. Do you have any thoughts on that? Okay, let's get to dinner. It's going to be a trio of samplers. We've got scallops. We've got oysters and citrus.

And we've got a saviche that is bright, powerful, punchy, like a Peruvian fireworks show on your two taste buds. What is that? I know. We have four. Okay, so dinner is not perfect, though. I would say, normally samplers are trash. I don't want a sampler, right?

Usually you don't want a sampler. Well, a sampler is something you order when you want to be a big, big, big, big, big, fatty. Okay. You're like, oh, chicken skewers. If we're doing all of these beautiful, fresh raw bar kind of dishes, let's do them, let's cycle them out, right? I know that we're a little understaff,

so maybe we want to just do a three-banger, but usually we're going to reserve a sampler for the cheesecake factory, right? We're going to have mozzarella triangles. We're going to have buffalo cauliflower, and we're going to have cheeseburger egg rolls on the same plate. And that's meant to give you cancer, actually. But this, I think we can roll out the oyster, then we can do the saviche, then we can do the scala.

We don't need to. chillify this, right? It's actually pretty fucking horrific. Then we get to a Dorcia-style plating of a local white fish with a rim of sweet potato mash that will kind of ensnare a thin white sauce that the fish will be sitting atop. Not my fave from joy. Fish forward. A lot of fish. Um, kind of a one note textually, I think. I thought it was cream of wheat. You thought it was cream of wheat? But we've talked about it before.

Cream of wheat, a very underrated, uh, working class food. What's your favorite way to do cream of wheat? Well, I, uh, told the story where, uh, definitely uncooked, where you bake it in your stomach with all the acid and it, uh, cooks over the course of three days. Yes. Then you have to undergo surgery for them to, um, extract the ball. of fucking cream of wheat from your lower intestine. Oh, my God.

Check it out. Episode 172 of APS. Yes. Very, regretable. What's your favorite way to eat cream of wheat? I've never had cream of wheat before in my life. That's the Kiki Palmer of the podcast.

How have you never had cream of wheat? Get in the comments. Let us say your favorite way to prepare cream of wheat. Honestly, I don't even really know what it is. So that was fish in the middle of that. Yeah. I've never thought of fish as a blended soup. No, no.

No, it wasn't, the sauce wasn't fish. The white stuff in the middle of that plate. Yeah. What was that? I don't know. Oh. Maybe it was a coconut kind of thing. It might have been a coconut.

Oh. Yeah. Zero pots. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to give it zero. I am going to give it 41 pots, though. Not Joey's best. best outing, but, you know,

can't all be home runs. No, no, no. Cream of wheat is a ground wheat product. You, you, kind of like an oatmeal. You put it in, it's like a polenta. It's in between polenta and oatmeal. You put it in some boiling water,

and then you can make it savory. You can make it sweet. I like throwing a little butter in there, a little maple syrup, you know? Maybe mount that with some butter and maple syrup. I'll tell you what, that is delicious. Should we move on? I think so.

Okay. Next day. next day take it away well uh morning service jen is getting a little uh judgy about k's performance and cat is starting to think jen's a negative bitch yep she's thinking that she's probably maybe a little bit um negative and uh i do want to get to one moment but with the guests where a guy tells a little anecdote about how his wife constantly makes fun of his tiny little dick so he says you know you always say that I have the perfect penis because your vagina is shallow and dead or something like that. I don't remember what it was. And he goes, she goes, yeah, I know. And he goes, can we just say I have

the perfect penis for you? Why do we need to categorize it through that kind of lens? It's not necessary. Like, I guess beat me. It was a one of those examples of a pussy half full. All right. I want to stop. I want to stop for a second because you said first, all right, beat me. Which was. What? Beep. Oh. Okay. Are you talking about like an optimistic pussy?

Yeah. Okay. That's where I was going. Kind of like an Annie. Like rather than say like you have a small dick, it's no honey. It's my pussies. Half full. Yeah.

Not half empty. Right? Yeah. Yeah. 100%. I love Cat throwing it back in Jen's face. I think Cat and Jen are actually fun. And I think Cat does really well to weather Jen

because I think the cat does not want to be around. I know, but why is Kat doing the song and dance where she's like, I'm going to then give this information to K rather than go, Jen, why don't we just try and make the best of this? I think you got to if your cat run this up the flagpole, you've got insubordination, Kately should probably know about it. And it's just what C Rets do.

But I will say that Kaley and Kat both handled Jen masterfully. When Kat tells Kaylee that she's been talking bad about you and she's really negative, Kaylee goes, we've got so much work to do. It's not important. Which takes a tremendous amount of emotional discipline to really not give it any oxygen. But Kat makes fun of Jen a brief moment where Jen goes, I can't believe she is my Chief Stu. Chief Stu's that I've worked with have been in the yachting industry for over a decade.

Over a decade, I was 12, I was over a decade ago, I was 12 years old. And Kat goes, yeah, and Luke was 25. Great comeback. Great comeback. All right. So Nathan, we get to this moment where he just, just flips out. He's losing it. Sleep, uh, deprivation. Yes. And fighting with the wife, girlfriend, baby mama. He's not the best version of himself. Yes. But he is the version of himself currently,

the one that is on display. So let's talk about it. Joe and Cooper are looking at each other and smiling. Now they probably are exchanging glances because Nathan is an incompetent baby right now, because he has a baby and he's sleep deprived. And he's also not that. good of his job, not that good at his job when he's fully rested. But he says, if you guys make those faces again, I'm going to go to the captain. This is one of these, Nathan always goes back to well slept or not. He does this thing where he threatens and violence first. Violence and then does this enforcer thing as though it's going to garner. I think that he has some kind of

1950s cowboy kind of He's Irish by the way But his pussy side is I'm going to rat you out Just look at him and go Hey are you guys fucking with me? Like let's fight it out But there's this thing where he He has this picture of a leader in his head

Which is somebody who's like abusive to other people And it gets them in line Like you're you want to take a war warden position here. And it's like, you know, there's this famous story, I think I've told it before, of Will Ferrell and Adam McKay yelling at their entire on the set of, Anchorman. Yeah. And the Michael Bay story had come out. So they thought that they were going to do that. And all of the grown adults there just looked at them like, what are you doing? Because, well, they were being disparaging and inappropriate with the crew for like an hour. And the crew did not take too kind to it because

this is not how you manage people. You don't threaten violence. You don't threaten that you're going to rat them out. This is how you get a mutiny brewing, which is exactly what he does. Now, at some point... I want to say the way that you earn back respect, Nate, is you just start doing a good job.

You've got to slowly get back respect. But if you threaten that I'll go to leadership, they think you're a bigger loser. Asshole. They don't want to work for you. So Nathan hurts his back. And this is where Sandy's patience is just unbelievable. I mean, how much can she a lot this guy? He's late, he's sloppy, he's rammed the boat into the dock.

He just heard his back. At this point, Sandy's just like, what do I do with this dude? Can I tell you how much I've come around to Sandy? This is what's great about reality TV is you hate people or you don't respect them at all. And then you get to know them for a long time. you're like, wow, I actually, how is she dealt with this? Because if I was Captain Sandio, I've been like, you are such a jackass.

But she sees an out. Or does she? She goes, oh, we gotta get, uh, we gotta get a scan going. Ah. I'm gonna get you off this boat. We gotta make sure that that back is healthy enough to work. Now, this is why I write down, or why I wrote down that her patience is unbelievable, because he,

he does this thing where he'll just without any insecurity or hesitation tell her something that is just completely inappropriate and does not bode well for him or make him look good. So early on in the season

he went up to her and thought they had the kind of relationship to where he could just tell her that he wanted to punch the guy in the face and she's like not appropriate to tell me. Then he says yeah good point sorry i didn't call i should have just without any fear of reprimanding or anything like that then we get to this back incident where he tells her that he had hurt his back weeks ago

and that he'd gone he'd undergone some kind of rehab for it essentially he came to this boat not healthy back there but he just It didn't matter to him because he needs to make money and he needs to be on the show. But if we're in the yacht world rules, this is not a good thing to conceal to somebody because it puts them in a shitty position. Now, he is going to be off the boat and Sandy tells Joker Joe, hey, I'm going to need you to step up and be bossed. You're in charge. And he says, oh no, thank God. Oh, no, thank God.

Now is his time to shine. To shine. Can I do a meanwhile? Yes. Joy misses her guy. Not good. Well, I don't know if you caught this still, but no one, a listener reminded me of this, because everyone on the boat knew what's his face had done. But Joy, of all people on this boat, is unaware that her best friend coded his boss's

bed sheets with pole milk. She doesn't know because had she, I don't think she'd be calling him her best friend. I like ball barf. Some do. Some do. Very few. All right. So we kind of are wrapping up the show here.

We go cave diving. Pat, you would not do this. Not in a million years. No, no, no. it's way too spooky. Actually, if the tide comes up, we'll die. So I don't actually want to be in a position where if that could ever happen, it could happen. So I don't want that. I was almost killed in the ocean like two weeks ago. I will never. And I was only in like, what do you mean? You were almost killed? Like a wave hit me and knocked me down on the sand. I hurt my knee.

Uh-huh. A little scrapey. Uh-huh. Yep. Nope. So we don't do that. Then we get back to the boat. We have a chicken schnitzel lunch. Now, this is a perfect. lunch, okay? It is a chicken schnitzel with a ratatouille accompanied with fresh lemon. Now, she's gone to the Ratatoui trough a couple of times this season. I'm fine with it because Ratatoui is a very versatile, vegetal welcome to really any plate. I think Ratatoui is one of the kings of side dishes. So she brings that out again. Now, this is a perfect thing to set you up and kind of going into the late afternoon. This is going to be a big, base, right? You just crushed a chicken, a giant chicken nugget, essentially.

So what we're going to do is we're going to establish a base for copious amounts of alcohol consumption later. And we're also a little sleepy. So I'm going to go take some restful sleep. And then I'm going to wake up. I'm going to get ready to bang a Christina or something to start slugging about shots. I'd love joy. This was a hundred pot lunch. Well, yeah, she catered to the audience. Yeah, it's beautiful. So meanwhile, Sandy is going, I will take a refugee that we see swimming in the middle of the ocean at this point. I need someone on this boat to help lug shit around. Norma isn't helping.

I think that she broadens her search. And we start to see Joe taking over the deck crew. They're getting into a flow. They're getting into a groove. And later on in the season, we're going to see a moment where Joe's made this boat run. on more effectively. Welcome Nathan back to the fold.

In a suit and they're going to fight and also, sorry, spoiler those out there. And then Jen says, I think I like Coop's dick. Yeah, she goes, hey, Coop, you got a big fucking hog, don't you? Ooh. Later on this season looks really good.

The season has been so amazing thus far. Get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. We will be back next week. For more, I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat. Say goodbye. Later, dudes. Thank you.