Another Below Deck Podcast - The Exorcism of Lexi Wilson | Below Deck Med S6 E6

Episode Date: August 3, 2021

Pat, Nick and Dyl are back to talk about exorcisms, the thought leadership of Captain Sandy, the five steps to live a happy life according to Athena, Chef Spaz's uncomfortable apologies and messing one's self.  Video of this episode: https://youtu.be/24p5CmDgr0E Get an extra episode of Another Podcast Show every week plus much more at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetwork Merch: AnotherMerchStore.com

So the crew lines up for the guests. Sandy says, Lexi, I believe in you. Thank you all. Would you just fucking just stand in line, Sandy? What the fuck? Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. My name is Dylan. I am saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, matey! I don't know what's up with that voice because I didn't think this episode was that great,

but I don't want to get ahead of myself into thoughts and not so quickly. Pat, what's up? How are you doing? I'm doing okay. Yeah, it's not that good of an episode. It wasn't that good of an episode. I mean, Captain Sandy made an absolute fool out of herself with this life coach. Is this thoughts and nots?

Yeah, thoughts and nots. A lot of thought leadership from Captain Sandy. The only fun is despising Captain Sandy and realize everything that's coming out of her mouth. There's nothing wrong with this. A lot of people quote their favorite life inspirational speakers, but there's an ass load of this coming out of

Captain Timeshare. Sure. Yeah. And it's pretty annoying. A lot of talk on leadership when I don't know. There is none. It's like a stick figure artist teaching a pastel class. Makes no sense. All right. Let's get into thoughts and nods nods pat how many pots you give it uh i give it i'm gonna give it 60 knots uh lexi's still hot

she's fun to watch she's a nightmare she's making everybody miserable i guess that's enjoyable but other than that it was just a mediocre episode yeah it is crazy that she's still hot go ahead she's pretty hot i Go ahead. She's pretty hot. I followed her on Instagram, tried to get her on the show. Yeah, you had a fun exchange back and forth with her. And she had, which I actually will get into later, actually. I'll read that. But she had one of those.

You know when you put on stories on your Instagram and there's like a dot or like a... He's fine. Are you kidding me that you just made that reaction to him? He jumped into my foot. I kicked him in the head. Oh, I thought he just didn't make it up on the couch. No, I kicked him in the head. We're talking about Chewy.

Yeah, we're talking about Chewy. But no, so Lexi, it shows how many stories you have with dashes. She had one of those things that looked like Morse code. It was 7,000 dashes across the story after this episode came out because she had all this explaining to do where she didn't explain anything she was defiant did not take extreme ownership no but interspersed with some of her explanations of why she's such a horrible human being were like selfies of her giant tits which was oh yeah yeah sick super tight it was super super cool and she did explain away the horrible wig. Yes.

It's seawater and salt, and the seawater does horrible things to any female's hair, never mind an African-American female's hair. Right, right, right. So, yes, she did have the cheapest wig you could buy. Got it. But this episode, you guys are right. It was semi-let down, but that's what happens when you reach the pinnacle. Yeah.

There's no place to go but down, and that's what we're experiencing here. Well, no one's had a baby yet on the show. True, true. But, I mean, I think because of how drawn out that baby thing was, last episode was better than anything we saw in Below Deck Sailing Season 2. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm actually, even though this wasn't that great, I'm hopeful for the rest of the season.

62 knots. I think I'd give that a ton. I would love. Where's our archivist? I want to see our. We'll talk to her. Before you give theirs, I want to say this because I always read the reviews. For you idiots out there that go, these people speak on this show with no actual knowledge of it. Shut up.

Okay. One second. Who has actual. What? How? Why would you ever use the word knowledge when talking about bravos below deck? The word knowledge shouldn't come in. Remove from your...

Just remove it from the lexicon. Okay. We got to get into the show. We begin. Son? Son? Lexicon is a word for like a language someone might use or the second stew on the show. She's a Lexicon.

All right. So we begin off the heels of Lexi's meltdown. I think the audience as well as the crew aboard Milady are getting fatigued, not worn down by her. Just like, all right, get it out. Come on. Say all the horrible things you're gonna say that's it david kind of has a shining moment here with some compassion and some great quotes he says how loud do you need to get before you realize you're wrong you know the way he was battling her i mean uh battling against satan this was like david versus goliath tits. Or he was the Archangel Michael in the war in hell.

I mean, it was very commendable. He was much like Michael Pena diving on that grenade that was thrown in the tank in the climactic moment of Fury. Oh, Fury. Okay. I saw Fury at a screening at Parabellum. I loved that movie. That's a cool movie. Shia is a star i'm gonna watch that tonight

i love i love world war ii movies yeah fury's sure fury's a great film i'm gonna check it out hey all right so i mentioned this on tiger tanks really crazy stuff lexi is is uh is stuck at the age of 13 to 15 she's everything she's doing here is what you do at a high school party when you're drunk. It's a temper tantrum. It's a behavior that should disappear once a diploma has been handed to you. It is a product of emotional immaturity. Correct.

Or lacking emotional intelligence. You cannot... What? Speak it, Dil. Speak it. Speak on it, Dil. You can't convey or express your emotions correctly so you throw a temper tantrum that's what children do really ugly though like you know she sure comes

out swinging right right right and that product that you just mentioned is it's in and of itself a product of the pageant industry that is why she's stuck from 13 to 15. It stunts growth like gymnasts. Lexi, unacceptable on this boat. Save it for when you get on Real Housewives or something. Will you have more? Oh yeah. I was, what was I going to say? Oh damn, I forgot it. Yeah. I really, I really burped you up there. That's all right. Yeah. I'm sorry about that, man. But speaking of like getting nasty and also like kind of delusional um she has such a high opinion of herself for being such like a i don't know an objective failure i mean we can piece this together c-rat jesus uh c-rat uh shirt coming out next month not really hey oh i i thought

i just figured out what i thought uh are you gonna skip over that uh she said like a racist remark to z uh we'll get there okay but first rank is brought? She said like a racist remark to Z. We'll get there in a second. But first, Rank is brought up. It's like a Habit Burger employee condescending to someone who works at Jersey Mike's. Her premise is that she has leverage and status over him because she's a stew and he's a deckhand. Lexi, if the chore wheel landed on you last night, you would have been cleaning up a Swedish man's piss. What are you talking about? You're a maid at sea.

And it was such a gymnastics of argument. First she asked him, she's like, how long have you been in yachting? And he's like, four years. She's only been in yachting two years. So then she went to their respective jobs. And like you said, hers is worse. Well, I'd also argue what she was trying to get at is she's been in the business longer, but it backfired.

But I would argue against that. The longer you've been in this, the worse you are. It's like, how many years have you done in prison? 18? Yeah, it's like, oh, okay. Cool. What are we talking about here? Temper settled down and David asks the all-important question,

where's the chef? He wrapped the knives in a dish towel, laid a bobblehead down, and bounced. But, of course, he will return. And this is just another mark. I get that traveling with your knives is difficult but real chefs have their own instruments you know you don't show up to a concert

and get handed someone else's violin you know you use your own violin can't talk today next day next morning Lexi wakes up and has a little chat with Sandy who's fucking walking around the boat doling out conflict resolution tactics like a great leader

with plenty of time on her hands. She does have some good advice. What's up? Well, this Satan. Captain Sandy. Oh, yes. Hi, beautiful. I mean, yes.

Come in, Lexi. Uh-huh. Oh, can we can we talk? Captain Sandy. No, no, no. You're getting way out of yourself. I'm at the espresso machine. Oh, sorry. talk, Captain Sandy? No, no, no. You're getting way ahead of yourself right now. I'm at the espresso machine. Oh, sorry.

I immediately have to use the bathroom. No, that's okay. What kind of bathroom? I just got to use the bathroom. You got to use the bathroom? I farted a little bit. I don't know. Oh, no.

It's fine. Oh, no. Leave all this in, whoever's editing this. Oh, my God. You had an accident. You shit your pants on the podcast? Oh, no. Leave all this in, whoever's editing this. Oh, my God. You had an accident. You shit your pants on the podcast? Oh, boy. That sounds like he did.

Hey, make sure my wife knows you're in there. This is, it's confounding to me. What happens to him? He's a grown adult. One, how do you not have command over your bowels? Period. Like, I get, like, like you know you're in traffic or something you're you're trying even then it's on you what did you it's on you like you know

grin and bear it you know you can eat both slices of lasagna you can get through it don't shit your pants but in this situation we're completely relaxed here he He just shit his pants. But he shits all the time here. And it's like, you're a grown male. Go to the bathroom in the morning or in the evening. Regulate your movements. Get on a circadian rhythm. Clean your stuff out. He goes to the bathroom in my house more than I do.

That's how often he goes to the bathroom. It's crazy. So anyways, we got to get back to Below Deck. It's really disgusting. I know he's going to listen to this, get defensive. He's like, what are these fucking assholes talking about? I've never taken a shit here one time. I've been here 150 times.

What it is is he's got to watch what he's putting in his stomach. All right. So Sandy does have some good advice for Lexi. I can't believe he shit his pants. It's unbelievable. He shit his pants. That's crazy. He did it on my couch all right so sandy has some good advice for lexi who when asked

how the night was says fun we had some drinks and some fine uh some fights i got um i'm fine but after you know after you know the evening persisted i got after some people um sandy tells her to apologize and it's an interesting look into the mind of a demon she says i don't remember what happened exactly so i therefore cannot apologize for it and then what does sandy say why don't you just say that wow sandy are you fucking tony robbins well sandy tony robbins sandy's thing is essentially why don't you check in with the people you're trapped on a fucking boat with because if there's a gap in your memory and the last thing you do remember is a slow transforming into satan as you called it why don't you check in why don't you go around the boat and go, hey, did I do anything bad last night?

Because you probably can, you know, guesstimate that you said some pretty shitty stuff. Just start apologizing. Jesus Christ. She's so full of it. And I can't stand Captain Sandy because it's like you're allowing this imbecile to take no owner shop and instead just be an an angry, aggressive fucking monster owner shop ownership. Sorry. Sorry. Captain Sandy, you really have a career ahead of you in life coaching. Well, she's going to be playing at the Denver comedy works, I believe tomorrow night. So go check that out. That's a real thing. Next fire. Sandy has to, um, give a hug to is, um, what's going on with Sheffy the chief engineer Martin tells

Sandy that he signed Sheffy off the boat after an explosion of anger to which Sandy says the chef why I was here couple things things. If I'm Martin, I'd be like, yeah, I'm so confused by your questions. I said it was the chef, so yes. And you've met him. I told you why. And you were here. You were asleep. Why would you being here but asleep have any bearing on the situation?

Do you need coffee? The chef. Why? I was here you know what i'm starting to feel good about though dylan as i'm reading some online stuff about captain sandy yeah we're starting to build an army here of people understanding what an imbecile she is well we talked about totalitarian art i mean you you see what is in front of you that's right it's either it's you know it's black and white i'm just taking a sip of coffee so you enjoy that enjoy that yeah yeah so then uh captain timeshare texts uh chef spaz say where are you um and uh well i guess we'll hope he answers but she didn't

know but i guess uh if chef spaz well i won't get ahead of well yeah let's do a little meanwhile meanwhile nick has got a mess to clean up right now. My wife's going to be pissed. She's tired of him going in there and ranking up our living room. It's not pretty when you go in there after he's done. He's got to watch what he eats. There's a reason why I eat a turkey sandwich every single day. I regulate my tummy.

I don't want my tummy doing that. Never mind doing it in someone else's house. Yeah, I had a salmon tartine this morning. I don't want my tummy doing that. Never mind doing it in someone else's house. Yeah, I had a salmon tartine this morning. I don't even know what that is. Smoked salmon tartine. Bread was a little much. Bread? It was a little too doughy.

Did you have lox? Yeah, it was lox. Smoked salmon tartine. Capers, tomatoes. A little too much for breakfast, if you ask me. Your people, that's a lot to take down at 9 in the morning. No, it's light. Not really.

Did you say capers? Yeah. Anyways, we wish him well. I'm really excited to see what... Let's finish this show before he comes back so we can say... Sorry, man. Meanwhile. Meanwhile.

The news of the pigeon fluing the coop uh swims around the boat lexi then walks through the galley and we get a racial context for how demonic lexi was being last night um z wonders if lexi knew the layered harm of calling him afrikaans um with it being new of the layered harm so I guess Afrikaans is the descendant of a colonial language the answer to that

question is nosy she didn't understand the layered harm she was just blackout and saying really stupid shit I think she pulled Afrikaans out of thin air I don't know about that. That's it. So Nick is back. Hi, Nick.

And let's get an update on what is going on with this adult human man. What happened? Nothing. I needed a break from our banter. Okay, so next up we've got Katie trying her best to have a – Did you shit your pants? What's the definition of shit you know hey the audience is getting

gross I imagine someone's eating I know I just felt as though it was how much was it discussed when I was gone almost nothing good talked about it next up yeah Katie

what is shitting your pants what are you talking about if there's un i it's such a very clearly defined thing did you see my kid yeah okay so next up we've got katie trying her best to have a responsible conversation with her boss unfortunately for her that is captain sandy the meeting is interrupted by the topic of conversation, Lexi, and is not told to give us a minute, but rather come on in. How do we feel about this HR nightmare? Yeah, we're conducting an employee report. Right. Let's hear your side.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Wow. Wow. What a horrible manager Captain Sandy is. Come on. It's a horrible. Come on in here. I'm talking to your superior who I'm going to refuse to her request to fire you. I want you to hear all these things she's saying about you. I listen. I sympathize with Sandy because she's already lost the pigeon and she can't lose another person.

But so a team meeting is called about the accountability that needs to be taken. Well, a group therapy meeting and it's called the theme is do we forgive? Right, right, right. Wow. How to make concessions and move forward in love with Captain Sandy. Then she does something. I know you're probably going to get it again. Sorry.

No, no, no. Go for it. She tells everyone their assets. That definitely came out of one of those self-help bullshit corporation books. Yeah, no, no. Go for it. She tells everyone their assets. That definitely came out of one of those self-help bullshit corporation books. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That she highlighted when. Wow. Wow.

And then her girlfriend, she, come on over here, Karen. Can I read this to you? What do you think? And she's rolling her eyes at night like she's fucking Christ. And honestly, if you really. If she wasn't such a fucking firecracker in bed, I'd be gone. fucking correct and honestly if you really wasn't such a fucking firecracker in bed i'd be gone that's a pretty uh disgusting way to talk about your employees oh just a line on their balance sheet yeah exactly bitch whoa so lexi demonstrates um uh excuse me lexi demonstrates accountability

masterfully by saying you guys yelled at me and what you're saying that i said isn't true uh she makes it a point to apologize to david and katie and does not say anything to malia and z who i don't know i i don't want to say did the worst i think she was an equal offender to everybody she was a complete demon to any and all who got in her face but um yes it's very purposeful that she does not apologize to malia specifically um i understand that she's gone through a lot and it was a bad night of drinking she has a darkness inside of her that is profound but that doesn't mean that it's going to be on display all the time we know categorically now lexi is a vicious sea act accordingly you know i don't necessarily think that lexi should be fired for this it's bad hiring you got to deal with it you know if it comes up

again then sure but you know well that's the whole thing about this the way that this boat works which is everything's intermingled so you're you're employed there's an employee employer relationship during the day when there's guests on the boat and then it's all hands off so when you're fighting when you're socializing with each other you can't ding someone right for that it's kind of an odd dynamic which is honestly why i think that below deck should maybe uh stretch the season definitely don't give us more episodes nonetheless actually less episodes but maybe less charters let's have them going out and doing more things together because what really fucks up the dynamic of the boat is the mistakes that happen in the social situation good point i

like that but definitely don't have them doing things where they're not drinking oh no no i have to be drinking we've seen them go to like a donkey sanctuary. No, no, no. Don't go off-road. It was a bore. We're not doing that. If you go to a donkey sanctuary with some booze, I mean, gosh.

I've been thinking about Lexi quite a bit, probably more than I should just because I find her so goddamn attractive and she reminds me of my wife. That's cute. Lexi is young. And I remember me being, you know, I've gotten a couple road rage instances.

Basically, if you would have filmed me for two solid weeks at any point between the age of 18 and 25, you could probably edit a pretty nasty cut of my behavior. Not my worst. Me too. So I like to think that we grow beyond this and that we're better people. Lexi, I have pause. And forgive me for the comparison, but I used to,

I loved this girl named Omarosa from the first season of Apprentice. Yeah. Hot girl, super smart. I think she actually worked for the Trump. Yeah, she was in the cabinet or something, I think. She was the villain. She was very much like Lexi.

Again, forgive me the comparison. She happens to be black as well. I already did this comparison. I said Lexi is a future Omarosa. Did you say that? So you planted in my head like that movie that, what's his face made? Oh, Inception. Yeah, you Inception'd me.

But I got to thinking Omarosa hasn't gotten any better. She's actually gotten worse. God, I hope that doesn't happen to Lexi. Oh, no. Lexi is far worse than Omarosa. Are we going to have her on? Lexi? Yeah.

No. She said no. And here's how it went. I DM'd her. I was, well, so she's on private, has comments off on her posts. Uh, and you can't DM her unless she accepts you, unless she accepts you as a, as a follower. Uh, so I did all those things. Oh, but she did do like a Q and a thing where you can like anybody can ask a little question on your story and then she can respond to those people and repost. So I said on that I wanted to I wanted her to come on our show. She accepts my follow request. I DM her from there.

I said, I said, hey, Lexi, we'd love to have you on our show and have you tell your side of the story. She responded, it doesn't work like that. Oh, no, no, no. I responded to her little Q&A thing. I said, come on our show. She said, sorry, the powers that be can't let me. I'm like, don't worry about it. Ask for permission.

Don't ask for forgiveness. She responded to that. She said, it doesn't work like that. Forgiveness. Anyways, sorry. They will ask for forgiveness she responded to that she said it doesn't work like that they will forgive it's not anyways sorry they will ask for it's different you actually asked i switched it yeah yeah i'm dyslexic as fuck ask for forgiveness don't ask for permission yeah she said it doesn't work like that they will sue me and they are serious about it yeah and i said it does work like that we've had kate on six times chef racial rachel ronald and bedell ashton riley didn't even mention carolyn but she was probably when we did that the biggest anytime you go against bravo that's when they don't want people talking about

her we had carolyn on she didn't care a bunch of charter guests all of whom were told no by Bravo But came on anyway She said nah the rules are way different for me That right there To me encapsulates She feels everyone's always after her Or she is somehow different She's treated differently somehow She's a disgusting human being I wanted to reply

You should check out our most recent episode Where it's Give her the clip where I'm talking about how hot she is. No, give her the clip where we're talking about what a fucking demon she is. And I just had that absolute fire thumbnail that just had her in the orange hoodie like a Sith Lord. An orange Sith Lord. And it said Satan. Well, she is.

So in a usual suspects type twist, and I mean it, Sandy has done something proactive and sensible? I said this. I was shocked. I said she should have done this, but I doubt she had. The second you see a crack in that pigeon's armor. You buy plaster. And then you quarantine the plaster for a week. And plaster is a chef named Luca with a cheery disposition.

Exactly. She's hired a new chef. She did it the second she saw Spaz fake a knee injury. Dare I say golf clap for Captain Sandy? I think what other choice would she have? I mean, you back this ding dong in a corner. She realized, all right, now I got to finally do what I'm supposed to do. Because when she started the quarantine, she didn't even know if the man was coming back, actually.

So like there still could have been a 10 day gap. Real actual being proactive would have been having a second chef quarantine. Right. Yeah. Or just say a person of principle would have said, you're not coming back on this boat. We'll get by with Dushka until Lucas. I got an idea. And maybe the audience will enjoy this captain timeshare i know you're listening or family members because it's i know all our one star reviews are idiots that are family members of you i could tell with the how they they frame it like these guys don't talk about the crab shack

the crab shack's doing great right yeah so no it's not Captain Sandy, my co-host and I, Lexi can't come on, but we know you have the power to. Why don't you come on here and debate your arch nemesis, old Patty here. Yeah, I love that. We'll go head to head. I'll hear you out. Yeah. I'll hear you out on all your nonsense. But come on here and face me, mano y mano.

Brian, add that sound effect in. Well, I just did it with my face. And he nailed it. It's kind of like when I do the preference sheet meeting music. Meanwhile. But I would like to hear if anybody, and I'm sad I missed it. I didn't look at the date. This past Wednesday on July 28th, did anybody go see Captain Sandy?

Oh, I thought it was this Wednesday. We mentioned it when we definitely weren't talking about you. We weren't talking about you shitting your pants. Oh, you guys mentioned her going. Yeah, we did her at Comedy Works. That's all we talked about while you were gone. Oh, I was wondering because we didn't really progress along in the episode. Thanks, guys. I'm

serious about that. No. Yeah, we really stayed away from you and talked more about Captain Sandy, but not really like progressing along the timeline of the show, but we didn't talk about you. I shit my pants. Crazy it is that you shit your pants. Meanwhile.

Meanwhile. David and Z chat about Malia, and Katie tells Lexi what? Katie tells Lexi to vacuum because of Lexi's all impressive rank. So as the guys are washing down the boat, a spindly fucking panicky bird walks down the door. That old bald chef bastard. Yeah. The spindly fucking panicky little bird walks down the dock and begins apologizing to the crew. He goes up to Martin, who is a very drama free Colin type character.

He is weirded out by matt's melodrama he's like he's in tears he's like i shouldn't have done that to you man you deserve that he's like it's all right that's okay i got him i'm gonna go back to this map i was looking at if you could get the fuck out of here and stop creeping me out. I truly, truly don't care. Yeah. Stay or don't. I have the unfortunate position of having a lot of work to do on this boat. So if you could please get the fuck out of here with your tears. I don't know if anybody tell you I'm the one who actually drives the boat.

That other blonde knucklehead around here. She just talks. Right. That other blonde knucklehead around here. She just talks. Right. A true example of a stoic philosophy embodied by engineer Jake Martin. A real, what's his name? Marcus Aurelius.

So Sandy and Matt have a chat. Sandy rightly tells him, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I've got to go with the chef that I've got in quarantine. Sandy says she can't take the risk. She's got to go with someone who's a guarantee. A guarantee? You're hiring sea rats, left and right. There is no guarantee in this business any human being

you bring on this boat is the exact opposite of a guarantee especially uh when the position you're looking to fill is high level chef and the person you found to fill it is willing to quarantine for two weeks and then come on the boat. And anybody who you want to fill this position has a position. Yeah, they're working. They're working at a really nice restaurant. That being said, I'm super confident about Luca. I don't think he's actually going to be on this season. Hot take.

I think Matt stays. I have nothing to back that up except for the fact that I think it's going to be better television. stays. I have no nothing to back that up. Oh, except for the fact that I think it's going to be better. I hope that Matt does stay because I love I love making fun of no. I love making fun of the pigeon and I

hope he does stay. Robert Brown who we haven't mentioned in a while. Love you are our most barnacled baby barnacle. You know what though? He's not a patron. He's in a lot of beds, too. He's in that below. Let's discuss group. He's posting everywhere.

I don't even I don't I'm not in all the below deck Facebook groups, but I'm sure he's in several. I will. I'll look into it and find out who else he's messing with. If he's not a patron, that's pretty fucked up, Robert. But I think you're right. Every comment you find of his in another group, you should just reply turncoat.

All right. No, but you're not in all the different below. There's below deck censored. There's below deck uncensored. There's below deck cruise mess. There's below deck. Jesus. There are seven that have 6,000 members or more.

And I got to do a better job of sharing our content. Nick, ask Kate if we can go on Galley Talk. I will. Thank you. Can we get to the preference sheet? Oh, yeah. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. What have we got? We have Athena Lucene.

What a fucking weirdo. Weirdo must be synonymous for a success coach from connecticut because that's what she is and so i did a little digging in her business before we get to the rest of the charter guests and um uh you can go to athena lucene.com and find all of this uh there's a couple hoops to go through to get the email sign up subscribe for a newsletter uh to get your first portal into her philosophy. And that would be the five keys to understanding your spiritual awakening. These were written by Athena. And I really think if you can master these five steps,

that picture her. Yes. She looks nothing like that. She looks exactly like that. It's a different wig. That's the only difference. It's a different wig. It's a different wig. Different wig. Athena somehow looks like like that. It's a different wig. That's the only difference. It's a different wig. It's a different wig.

Different wig. Athena somehow looks like Vanessa Williams. No, no, no. Vanessa. No, that's not. The white is very slimming. That's not anything close to Vanessa Williams. Yeah.

All right. We'll do a side by side of that. That's absurd. You're not supposed to Photoshop yourself that much. I don't want to be too insulting, but it's like if you saw a picture of Paul Gamatti on a piece of eight and a half by eleven that was like 10 feet away from you that brad pitt and you were like oh that's oh that's leonardo no it's it's not it's paul giamatti it's very different uh yeah this this woman bad analogy but you're wrong this is athena lucine yeah it's her five keys to understanding your spiritual awakening.

And I believe these five keys to understanding your spiritual awakening will also help us understand these charter guests and their preferences. Number one, your spiritual evolution is not a race or a competition with others. Love that. Comparison is the thief of joy. I love that. Yeah. Because your spiritual evolution is an intimate soul dance between you and the creator to remember your worthiness.

Number two. I'm deciding on the fly how much to read of all this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Number two, everyone does not need to understand you in order for you to be happy. Love that. Be yourself. If people don't get you, fuck them. Move on.

Now, I am generally skeptical of life coaches, but I'm in. I like these two so far. These are good tenants. Three, look for the synchronicities in your life. So when happenstance happens, really dig in. See if that is actually happenstance or if there's a greater meaning. Yeah, data collection in your own life is an important thing. Give context to the things that happen in your life, be they bad or good. Find out why, when, how things happen.

I actually said one time and it was like a it was like a weirdly proud moment. But it was maybe a first couple of weeks. I worked for the Adam Carolla show and we're sitting around at lunch. Great show. Yeah. And and I mean, a great show. I can't remember what was said, but I said and this has always been a thought of mine. Pattern recognition recognition is the greatest sign of intelligence.

Sure, yeah. And Adam told his assistant to write that down. Okay. And I was like, oh, some validation. Great show. I was not being paid. Number four, spiritual awakening is an invitation for soulful living. This one, we're going to have to dig a little deeper.

That sounds like vague horse shit to me. That's definitely vague horse shit. Three were good. But it is the stars connecting and bringing forth all that you need so that you can be certain of the decisions that are right for you. It is an intuitive knowing of all that your heart truly desires and going for it. So. Vague horse shit. truly desires and going for it.

So vague horseshit. So once you have enlightenment, you realize just pursuing your passions and taking care of those around you is what I'm digging out of it is the key. The yellow brick road is not. Nope. Move on. Number five, you are divine.

That one doesn't need it. No, no. So she got three good ones and someone said,, you got to have five on this circuit. You have to have five. You got to have five. But I only have three. Doesn't matter.

I'm really excited to see the rest of the spam emails I get after giving this woman my email address to see what other kind of stuff I can mine. But those are the five big tenants, and I think it's really going to set the scene for where we are on this charter. What do you got? She tried to do a podcast. This is where I know these people are phonies. Right. So she did a podcast for a full year called Cosmic Celebrity Podcast. Consciousness Awakening Tips for the Spiritually Gifted. Got it. She did it. Looking like we have like 40 episodes. She had two reviews on our podcast.

Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she gave up. I think she might be full of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, those first three tenants were pretty powerful, actually. They were pretty powerful.

Yeah, pretty powerful. I think, I think. Like Ebony K. Williams. I think I'm going to start giving her money to unlock more secrets. You should. But, Gianna Malady is still with Damien no wrong no we're covering love is blind

at the first episode was slow but also incredible these these are some of the most psychotic human beings to ever be on reality television if you want to hear us cover love is blind go to patreon.com slash another podcast network and give us five bucks really jump over there it's such a i'm not gonna allow more than a thousand people in that group yeah no you gotta get in soon because we're gonna hamstring our profitability there's something alluring

about the production of love is blind yeah it's unbelievable it's such a good show uh the other two charter uh primaries are jacobson and jivinson owners of fx capital yeah uh um they they are clients of athena who has evidently transformed them so much that they're willing to go on a trip for her sure yeah or it's some weird ponzi scheme where she's like pay for a yacht trip with me where I can be on television. This will give you success. She weirds me the fuck out. Athena? Oh, yeah. But the three powerful tenants. Sure, but is there another tenant that says

buy people nice things and then lord that over them? Because that's what she's doing. I think they've tricked, I think she's tricked Jacketson and Jivison into paying for this under the guise that will bring them more success. She said, I take care of you guys, don't I? I think at've tricked, I think she's tricked Jacketson and Jivison into paying for this under the guise that will bring them worse. She said, I take care of you guys, don't I? I think at least one time, which is okay.

She's weird. Also, joining them will be her two best friends, Brooke and Janine. On night two, they want two cakes, and they want green, gold, white, and black balloons. And you're like like why those colors those are the colors of fx capital thank you very much that's some digging um and honestly that's all i have that's that concludes the jump i love how matt um also during the preference sheet meeting sandy continues with the thought leadership she's very you know, I think one of the reasons why this company is so successful is that they communicate effectively. Sandy, let's just run through the preferences and then you can go fucking play Fruit Ninja or whatever the fuck you do.

So we've got some fancy. Excuse me. Talk of apologies and personal apologies gets brought up and Malia will soon get hers. Lexi walks into the room and says, I'm still confused about what was said. Malia says, well, I'll tell you. You called me a fake bitch for hugging you when you told me your father died. To which Lexi responds, well, I'd be lying if i said i thought you were being genuine and calm down no one is treating you horribly okay a couple things on what grounds do you think

that she was being a disingenuous bitch to you you're a paranoid uh beelzebub and what is disingenuous when you're consoling someone that you barely know? I never met you fucking. I mean, I'm a human being. I understand loss. Right. But I don't even like you. Right. But as human beings, it's it's cordial or it's being another decent human being to hug the person and tell them they're sorry. Imagine if she did the opposite, which Malia was probably thinking.

Sure. Yeah, I am being fake as fuck. I don't give a flying fuck. Your father probably hated you. And that's why you're such a monster. And Malia is around. How do you like that? I'm being fake as fuck. I don't give a flying fuck. Your father probably hated you, and that's why you're such a monster. And Malia is around in art. How do you like that? I'm being real.

Malia's around in art, but I don't think that she has that in her. I think that Malia really did feel for her, and Lexi is a damaged, damaged soul. But as a human being, when someone posts that their uncle died of cancer on Facebook, I'm always like, fuck, now I got to say something. No, you don't. Just that care reaction. Just that care reaction. Just the care reaction. Just give him a hug.

Just give that heart a hug with that yellow face. Oh, OK. That's all you got to do. But also, to the no one's treating you horribly, you screamed in her face and told her to go fuck herself and that you live in a high rise. $8,000 a month. Some of those are just facts.

But in defense of Lexi, though she had no evidence to suggest that Malia was being fake, I stand by my theory that Lexi was the most horrible person that the Below Deck production had ever interviewed. And they're like, we have to get this person on to shine malia in a good light so she can eventually be a better looking captain than captain sandy yeah i love that take uh evidence number two is the three just sweet kind-hearted hard-working fucking nerds she has under her not these bros who are trying to fuck everything on the boat that will eventually show her as a good leader when they are just operating the boat successfully. Exactly, yeah.

Malia's first couple of dudes. Fucking party Pete, you kidding me? All right, sweetheart. Yeah, I'll go wash down the deck, sweetheart. Call me the unit. Yeah. Hey, boss, why don't you say uh after uh after work me's and use goes uh go slam down some beers and slam into one another crass as he is how did you cast this guy this is

so unbelievably inappropriate crass as he is share some fire fire memes uh all right so um malia goes to katie she is a rat in an ark but this time she's right she says hey we've got a fucking problem here drinking is one thing but we've now got a walking waking lucid demon on this boat uh she never apologized to lee she told to z she told me that she thinks i'm a fake bitch for comforting her when she was upset about her father and when all of this stuff is relayed, Katie needs to have a little chat with Lexi. I think Katie handles this like a champion. Lexi handles it like a stuck-up cunt. She says that all of them were wrong for what they did to her the night before

and then gets on the phone in the middle of their conversation and calls Mommy. To say she quits in front of kate which will be noted later uh poor katie allows lexi to wear her down and you can't do that with these kinds of people you have to meet fire with fire lexi to me is a very easy foe all you have to do is massacre them with harmful words there should be no rope extended. Lexi has a very loud, defensive person, but inside is a very, very fragile broken human being. All you have to do is weather the outside, beat it down, meet fire with fire

and then crush the thing inside of her and bend her to your will. That's this alexi is not a formidable foe now she really is yeah i'm i am sorry there's a lot of evidence mounting up and i'm shocked i didn't see it before i think she actually is a demon has taken over her body yeah like the exorcism or the exorcism of Emily Rose. I believe she's a sweet 13 to 15-year-old girl that was never allowed to develop. Who got turned into something like this.

Exactly. Yeah. And I think if we don't get a finale where she's locked in the master cabin and her head's spinning and the power of Christ is compelling her, then this season's going to be a letdown. Yeah.

I think she's having her period. Great take, Pat. Pretty much indistinguishable to being. Don't say what you're about to say, though. So we got to get to a word from our sponsors. Magic Mind. You know it well. It is a beautiful little green elixir that will help you with zen calm fury and focus.

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What is this Magic Mind you're taking? You tell them it's the anti-procrastination drink. That's the quickest sell you can tell someone. Go to magicmind.co, use promo code below deck, get the highest percentage off they've ever offered 25 and support our program please do let's get to the next day next day katie heads up to chat with captain sandy she tells her we've got a hellscape creature on board um and it's a problem to which sandy says invest give her one more shot invest in that that monster. Give her, invest in her. Go lead Katie.

Hey, Captain Timeshare, wait till she gets in your face and asks how the clam wrestling's going, and we'll see how much you want to invest in this demon. Well, here's the thing. Sandy seems to write off Katie's entire boat thing. She's like, no, it's not just me. It's the entire boat. And Sandy uses that, like a chute or a ladder,

whichever one you want to use, to just completely make that argument null and void. She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It doesn't matter about the whole boat. Just focus on your department. It's kind of a straw man that doesn't make sense. Sandy, I'm telling you that the entire boat, your entire company, quote unquote, reviles this human being. But like I said, poisoning the entire boat.

Like I said earlier, just because she's Regina George and she had one bad night does not mean that you can fire her. Captain Sandy, definitely horrible leadership. This is exhibit Z double Z. Yeah. She's a bad leader. But Katie fucked up. Katie? Not your typical chief of chief.

Yeah, not your typical chief of chief. She fucked up by not giving specifics. And this was happening all the time when people were explaining to Captain Sandy what was going on. She said some sort of racial slur to Z. Right. She sexually assaulted lloyd she told everybody that their positions were worse than them this is not something someone you can continue on a professional relationship all right so this is poor sea rat management

this probably happens on all these boats is it being filled with sea rats you put together a list a dossier document evidence yes like a lawyer memo to the file memo to the fact that they're not doing that she's going she's being mean to all of us she got really drunk last night started yelling at everybody's like what are you supposed to do with that yeah the vague is the vague ism isn't helping and yes they're sea rats so embrace your sea ratness and rat my girlfriend julesules, recently had an employee she's close with. They used to work at, like, a similar store. They don't anymore, but they keep in touch. And the other employee told her that her phone was sitting in the break room,

and the manager picked up her phone off the charger to put her phone on the charger, but then looked at the text message notifications that were on the thing and then brought it up because it was a discussion of the jules's friend with about another manager and she she was like oh i'm sorry i saw your text but man i didn't think you thought of taylor that. And the girl was like, so taken aback. You get sued for that. I know. I was,

I was like, that is so fucked up. How much money am I going to get? I looked at, he looked at my texts. Great idea. Seriously. But so the girl was like,

she didn't really say anything. And she's like, Oh, I think I'm going to confront her tomorrow. And Jules gave a great point. She's like, no, send an email document

document document document document get it on fucking paper with hard dates and time so Katie moves Courtney into Malia's room and has a final heart-to-heart with Lexi who sweetly says Kate uh Katie I'm not gonna call you a cunt to your face anymore okay it was just one bad demon alcohol I'm really sorry boss I'm not gonna tell you to shut the fuck up and get away from me uh so the guests line up are just an incredible george casanza move here yeah yeah yeah she goes i thought you quit she's like no you are quit for me saying i was gonna quit i'm calling my mom uh so the crew lines up for the guests sandy says lexi i believe in you thank you all would you just just stand in line what the fuck are you doing these guests seem fun sans athena who calls

herself lady athena and introduces every one of her friends with a corporate context it was a little weird to me like i said she also seems to be lording this over the people that she brings aboard um what is up with this whole anchor drop thing they're like waiting around and david like puts his hand in his head over this anchor drop doesn't matter but it was very bad editing it didn't make any sense let's get to lunch lunch quickly though ath Athena might be an evil genius. What a way to impress clients that are probably paying you significantly more than what this trip costs. She's like, I'm going to take you on this extravagant charter yacht. Right.

And get this, guys. Not only are you going on this trip, but it's going to be televised so we can promote your business. Meanwhile, she's getting 15% of the ticket price on this trip. Looking like a high roller. Athena's an evil genius. Athena is a smart cookie. So let's get to lunch, which, according to Chef Spaz, sets the tone of the entire charter. So given that, Spaz will roll out chicken cutlets and the most heinous crime ever committed

in the world of salads we've talked about it before it is the cob throw in some chili uh excuse me throw in some chimichurri shrimp just to make sure there's not a whisper of theme and that is what we're having for lunch um the food lands oh one pot the food lands and everyone waits with bated breath for what the water buffalo has to say about the food which she loves um not the food the the attention she loves that part. Oh my God. This made me want to throw up. They used to do that. Like with Kings, they'd have them taste it and then they decide whether or not the chef gets his head fucking chopped off. Oh, uh, well, simultaneously captain timeshare, of course, comes over to the table and lets

the guests know that if there are any issues with the food, they know where to find her. Why would there be any issues with food, Sandy? They're paying $60,000 a day. Why plant that? Don't put it in their head, Sandy, though. And also, Athena, do not close your eyes and have a soft orgasm over a bite of

under-seasoned chicken cutlet and Cobb salad. Holy shit. My kingdom will eat tonight. She also says she loves the word divine. It's just nauseating. She's an idiot. The production hands a GoPro

to a guest with gigantic tits and we get a convo between the pigeoned and the primary. Athena says that some of the people want squid and some don't, so have some options to which matt replies wait sorry oh sorry what his head is spinning like lexi's will at the end of the season he's like she said that some of them like squid and some of them don't and she wants options to

back it up and she wants some croak matt it she wants options to back it up. And she wants some. Matt, it's a very simple thing. It's a very simple thing. She was pretty confident about the calamari. A lot of people don't like it. She turns out, just come up with some different stuff for them to eat. This isn't a big deal. Just take it easy.

He's confounded. Hey, Matt, here's what happened. She wanted more camera time, so she walked into the galley. Surfer pig slop and she won't know the difference. Problem solved. So Lloyd continues to be a fucking dweeb with his goddamn engineering and teamwork. Lloyd is just, he's such an odd duck. He's a good dude, but man, is he boring.

Lexi says something about the compassion of Jesus, and then we get to dinner. This episode ends with a whimper, but the timing gets fucked up. And evidently Athena is, you know, kind of demanding things arrive out of order. Hold on, hold on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We, we always defend these guests. If they're paying 60 K and that's the premise that they're paying full, full freight here. I don't give a fuck what her demands are.

If no one's sitting at the table yet, if fucking she wants the fucking squid out first and then our dessert out first. She's she's calling the shots. Yeah. Yeah. Don't complain. I'm with you. Fucking what? I'm with you.

OK. I don't think it was the actual request. It was like the implication that you're fucking up. Right. It was there wasn't communicated dinner it was a curveball thrown rapidly at them and then she had the gall to walk downstairs and say in a very passive-aggressive manner you guys are already behind well you threw a wrench in our lap and we're dealing with it so athena calm the fuck down we'll find out

what happens next week with another episode of another below deck podcast guys uh patreon.com slash another podcast network if you would like to hear us talk about below deck sailing yacht love is blind you want video content and more galore our wine hag t-shirt and more merch is available at another merch store.com jump in the itunes ratings reviews. Leave five stars. It helps the show out tremendously. Please do it. Also, go to our YouTube, Another Podcast Network.

We love you guys for listening. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Nick, say goodbye. Goodbye. Pat, say goodbye. Bye. Thank you.