Another Below Deck Podcast - The Expiration Date | Below Deck Med S10 E11

Episode Date: December 9, 2025

Dylan and Pat are back to break down Fruit Riot, omelets, Bill Maher, the Hollywood bowl, farts, Mark Geragos, The America’s Cup, flow states, WAGs and more from Bravo's Below Deck MediterraneanPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

That magical time of year once more, with mince pies and pudding and treats galore, taking pride of place by the twinkling tree. All you need to know about the seasons TV, a world of entertainment wrapped up inside. Christmas begins with the RTE guide. And V is very, very aware that now that she has let him into her garden, she's wondering if the expiration date on their relationship that they discussed is still afoot. And, you know, I don't want to equate Joe to Donald Trump,

but you've got to listen to what he's saying, okay? Joe very clearly says, the expiration's past. He means it. He's done. He's not talking about it's not a real thing anymore, and he's so in love with you. No, he came in you and you're expired. He said it.

Yeah. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of Bad TV. I'm Dylan. That's Pat. Permission to come aboard. Granted. Hey, what's up, dude? Not much.

Kay is there behind the ones and twos. Hello. Can I get some stuff? off my chest? Sure. Ooh, no, you do PSAs first. Oh, okay. January is just around the corner.

This is the right time to sign up for patreon.com slash another podcast network. January is right around the corner, kids. We've got a lot of stuff going there. We're going to be covering traders, the USA version of that. Who are some of the people that signed up for that? Michelle Obama. Wow. What a get.

Big get. Maybe some of the Trump kids? That'd be odd, man. No, no, no, that's the only political. Who's the, the, the, Jesse, Jesse McCartney? Oh, no, no, no, Jesse Smollett. No, no, no. Don't be ridiculous, idiot.

Oh, it's Jesse McCartney. Oh, yeah, yeah, I liked him in the early 2000s. He had great hair. He was really, really talented. And there's so many more people. Okay, well, we'll be covering that, and I'm pretty good at playing that game. Snooky, probably. Yeah, that's probably going to be at Patreon.

Then we're going to, on the free feed that you're listening to now, we'll be covering The Bachelorette. We're told by our co-host, Ruby Wren, that it's going to be an amazing season. So we'll make it fun regardless if it's not. If it is horrible, we'll just, well, we'll shit all over it. Speaking of Ruby Wren, you know, one of the things that I needed to get off my chest, it's the holiday season, right? And Ruby and I are trying to source a book for our uncle. And I got on the phone, I started calling stores. I love to call a store.

It's so exciting this time of year where you get to phone people and see, oh, when can I get? Do you have this? And I just love calling a store. It brought me so much joy today doing it. And that's a reminder to buy locally, buy from purveyors, if you can. Wow. Another thing that I have to get off my chest, you know fruit riot? Fruit Riot.

You know Fruit Riot? You know Fruit Riot? Is that a game or something online? No, it's that, that, the frozen grapes with the, the, the dust on them. You know, fruit riot? No. What? Educate us.

Well, it's this fruit riot. It's frozen fruit with this sour powder on it. Now, they have mango. They have, they, they started with grapes. They've expanded into mango. Can I say? Way too sour. Okay.

Way too sour. And this is taking the world by storm. People are very into fruit riot. And, um, I got my, My hands on some, and I'm here to say it's way too sour. Okay, so listeners of this podcast know my love of buzz balls. Get this. The other day, I had purchased a manny petty for my wife.

Well, we had trouble finding a parking spot. I said, oh, there's one in front of that liquor store. The liquor store had one parking spot allocated for that establishment. So I said, I'll pull into the liquor store parking lot. You run into the nail shop and do whatever you got to do. and I'll go into a liquor store, I'll purchase something. Right. I walk into the store.

The first thing I see behind one of those refrigerated windows is a massive buzz ball. I know. Bigger than someone's head. It was blue. It looked beautiful. I know. I turned to the nice gentleman, definitely from another country. I said, what is that over there?

He said, it's my top seller. I said, really? He said, I can't keep him on the shelf. I said, really? How much is it? He said, 40 bucks. Really? I go, how many do you sell a day?

He says like six. I go, you've got to be kidding me. He goes, yeah, we just got done selling the Halloween one. Yeah. He goes, a lot of people didn't like that one because it tasted like licorice or something. I go, yeah, that doesn't work. He said people are going crazy for buzz balls. Right, right, right.

I started that revolution. Now, I wanted to ask you two questions. What was the point of saying he was from a different country? I mean, how was it pertinent to the story at all? You know what I mean? I mean, it's just disgusting that we're not growing as a show. I apologize. But number two, I was going to ask you if you, in fact, think that you started the revolution,

but you beat me to it. It is your revolution. That's right. Kind of what Lennon dreamed of, you know, is what you're doing to the buzzball market. All my buildings in the center of the city that I built will look like buzz balls. That'll be a freaking fun-ass city, I got to say. Kaelin, how you doing? I'm good.

Okay, great. I just, I can't get over the fact that Amar Ant Hampton is healthy. I mean, it's like, where did that come from? Oh, should we announce bad TV con? We have a thing called Bad TVCon, but you're going to have to be a Patreon member to see what our little said. You're going to have to be, well, should we just say what it is? I don't want to because people are going to get really jealous. Let's just say

We have a live stream this Friday And it's going to be a big live stream And we're going to have Some of your We're going to have some guests And you'll be able to interact with them directly And we'll post about it On the socials and stuff like that

It's our end-a-year gift To the super fans To be able to interact with some of your favorites From Below Deck It's bad TV con Or Crat Con Yeah, there you go I wouldn't say that to their face

Because they'd be offended by it But you should try it it kind of goes down easy you know the other day and we'll get to the show I was at brunch with friends and we went to Petitreau

and they have the omelet you know the omelet I thought you hated that place no I love that place oh you know the omelet there no okay well it's a French omelet with boson cheese

which is the French of velvita right and it's this delicious omelet my friend Connor gets it I've saved his asshole in my phone so every time he calls me it's this asshole's calling

so we're sitting at breakfast, he eats this omelet. I've had the omelet many times. The waiter comes over and goes, goes down easy, huh? Six eggs. Hold on a second. You can't let people know what is in their food at these restaurants, especially French restaurants. You can't come over to somebody after they've eaten six eggs in 12 minutes and say, did you know that was six eggs? That's like crazy. Yeah. Okay. I don't know why I talked about that but listen we have a lot of show to get into right now okay can you imagine that no I was really hurt six I used to really enjoy uh drinking uh monster energy drinks and then someone told me there's some juice from cows testicles in there yeah I still drink

them I don't think that's right so let's get into well the reason you shouldn't be drinking monsters because it's got the mark of the fucking beast on it okay Okay, it's a satanic beverage. So I've been told by crazy women in the South. Oh. You haven't seen these videos? No. All right.

Let's get into Below Deck. What an episode it was. We'll get into it during the preference sheet segment. But just thoughts and nuts off the rip, I have to say. And I very rarely say this about these vacations. This vacation was actually a, fucking awesome vacation i have the same thought parking next to the america's cup or whatever the hell it's called they're they're do they're at least doing stuff something cool they're not

just having a white party and then going jet skiing and then leaving you know this was an awesome vacation love the kissy's trying to get the tip up that's fantastic you go girl uh david is a i mean he's a mark he's a complete mark i don't think they're going to kiss you kidding me Good show, 90 puns. I agree with a lot of your thoughts. Okay. Are you filled with resent because I... Stole my thoughts?

Yes. No. Is there any amount of discomfort? Not at all. No, no, no. I really enjoyed this episode for a few reasons. One is I love it. I always love when a C-Roy might mix it up with a charter guest.

That's fun, but I agree with you, Dylan. I think this is some tricky editing. I don't think she'll cross the line. But it's fun to see if she might. Joe the Ho. It is so fun to see him have second thoughts about that relationship with V. One day he's all in. And it's so crazy that it came not six hours after he got to have sex with her.

That's right. Unbelievable coincidental. He's troubled. He doesn't think he can be there for her. as she mourns the loss of Bonn, which I'm so happy we finally got to learn how he tragically lost his life. He too, because it's kind of a brutal bit we've been doing. Yeah, and I apologize.

I apologize. I'm just happy that it wasn't a steamroller malfunctioning. I also am enjoying watching Max lose his mind. Oh, yeah. Now, him and Kathy have not agreed that they're, in fact, in a relationship. They've not. Okay. Him and Nate are bumping heads.

I don't think Max finishes this season. Really? Yeah. I think he gets fired. Kalan, what about you? I agree. Let's see. What else is there?

Do you have any more color to add to that, or is it just I agree? Yeah, it's just I agree. Overall, a fun episode. It's moving along. I think we're halfway through the season. I'm going to give it 14 knots. Now, because we're halfway through the season, and a lot of fans have said fucking sucks.

You know what? They always say that, but you're watching it, aren't you? That's not true, Bill Maher. Jesus Christ. I don't know who that is. But I did hear him argue with Mel Robbins. Who is Mel Robbins?

Is that you should or leave them? Let them. Just let them. Let them. And I think he was like, well, what if someone's trying to drive over you with their car? Yeah. Great question, Bill. Yeah.

Well, I mean, you shouldn't let them. Bill's super good at those like literal holes in your argument. It's like, well, you're not. Clearly, she said, get out of the way. But later on, you should sue them. Well, that's not letting them. All right. So we wake in Barcelona, Nathan, Scaris Kathy.

She didn't have any idea that he was in there. Now, contrary to the waiter telling my friend that there were six eggs in that omelette, this is something you do, you do have to divulge this, okay? Yeah. You can't just wake up underneath her, okay? She'll be spooked. She'll be absolutely spooked. Yeah.

You're not supposed to be in there. Yeah, but what are you supposed to do like a light tap? Like, hey. Yeah. I honestly, light tap. Hey, Kath. Cath. gath something like that i almost gave my this is like when i was like nine or something i was uh

my grandparents were staying with us like on vacation or something they were sleeping in like the guest bedroom and i got scared at night yeah i was it you know and so i go in creeping in their room and i start tapping on my grandmother's shoulder she woke up almost had a goddamn heart attack this is you know and and and you shouldn't life does not come with a manual right right And if there was a section about waking people up in their sleep, you know, there would be a very, very long and kind of dynamic assortment of words to teach you how to, how to handle that best. And one of them would be young women, okay?

Old woman, definitely not. You don't know what's going to happen with them. I've said a lot of dumb stuff in my life. You want to hear the dumbest thing that I've ever came out of my mouth about 12 years, long, actually 15 years ago. I dumped my ex-girlfriend. Upon dumping her. Broke up with her.

Broke up with her. that's the kind of way to say it. And this came out of my mouth because she was like really upset how I was doing it. I said, look, there aren't books

that tell you how to break up with someone. I said that to her face. Well, you're right. You're right, there's probably 14,000 books that tell you how to break up with something. But you don't only serial killers

and actually wear them. All right. Can I tell you what happens next? Yeah. Okay, so then Nate makes his way down to the galley and Josh is there. and uh because everybody confides in the chef for some reason he's like the local like therapist or

something and he goes to him he goes uh hey josh and he's like what's up you look kind of bumped and he's like kizzy she just wants to sleep with me she she just wants to have uh cheap meaningless sex and that's all she wants and the next second he's like hey josh why are you uh are you stab yourself in the face with a steak knife yeah it was amazing to see how calm Nate was despite the horror that was unfolding before him. Because, you know, somebody's stabbing themselves with the steak knife is a grisly thing, especially in the face. Hey, Josh, why are you stabbing yourself in the face with a steak knife?

It's crazy. So the other thing that happens, God, I thought you were going to say, why are you tying a knot or something like that? But no, you went with, why are you stabbing yourself in the face with the steak knife? It's like an M. Night Shammie man. movie uh v and joe the hoe wake out the next morning it's very clear that they uh is it copulated is that what what it means yeah um i think he referred i can you look up copulated real quick orally

copulated that means she gave him a blow job i was in uh i was a juror on a sexual uh harassment claim uh oral copulation was used i had to look it up and met blow job um uh he says to someone later in the episode i think he told max he said you know uh we took our relationship to the next level i took that as cold war word for she let him have sex without a condom, you know, that's a scumbags. Why did you say that? What? I just know how guy talked, man. But that's not a level. It's sex is the level. Oh. It's not with or without protection. Okay. Did we skip over Kermit calling Scott? No, but really quickly, I want, I maybe, but can we just stay on this for one second? Yeah. Because they talk about, um, an expiration date, you know,

And V is very, very aware that now that she has let him into her garden, she's wondering if the expiration date on their relationship that they discussed is still afoot. And, you know, I don't want to equate Joe to Donald Trump, but you've got to listen to what he's saying, okay? Joe very clearly says, the expiration's past. He means it. He's done. He's not talking about it's not a real thing anymore and he's so in love with you.

No, he came in you and you're expired now. He said it. Yeah. Oh, wow. So you have to listen. Wow. All right. Let's talk about Asia.

So she calls Scott. She misses him in those beautiful sunsets, you know, those views from that van life and holding hands and they watch that sunset, both sitting on five gallon buckets. Pat, I think they're doing better now. Oh, yeah. I think she bought a house, actually. Something like that. I still bet they have five-gallon buckets somewhere in the yard.

Uh-huh. You know? Crazy kids. Just to reflect back on the past. Yeah. You okay? Yeah. I mean, I bought a Hollywood bowl bench where the cheap seats were.

Just to my wife and I to always, like, look back when we were first together and didn't have two nickels to rub together. Had to be in the cheap seats. Uh-huh. Watching Chicago play. That's right. Like way up in the back. And then I showed you.

I was so proud of it. said what the fuck is this yeah i remember it was early on in our friendship and you were really really excited about this bench that you had bought from the hollywood bowl and you had a couple people over and you're showing us and i was like where the fuck are you going to put that and you're like what are you talking about i was like it's just just giant fucking bench what are you going to do with that it's so stupid you were not impressed and then some of your friends were like that's crazy This person is openly shitting on this thing that he's really excited about. Anyways, Nathan has a call with Gail and decides, no way, no more.

No more. Not doing it. Well, she gives them her dream because she's working on a boat. Oh, yeah. She wants to sail around the world and make baby sea rats. That's what I'm saying. A lot of the times, and we've spoken about this before, but C-RAT dreams are very attainable.

And when you're dreaming, we've talked about this before, you know, there's an argument to be made. You don't want to dream unobtainable because it's not obtainable. But C-Rat's really dream, you know. I would say P2 is the level of their dreams. There's a little rich man, poor man.

they can fulfill this dream. They can have baby sea rats. They'll be working on a boat together with two children. Right, right, right, right. Okay, so Kathy and Max have a little chat. He continues to be kind of like a vaginal sham wow. Can I say this about Max? And I hadn't picked up on this.

He definitely has anger issues, but I didn't realize how insecure he is. And this kind of control is based on root. in kind of his insecurity. Yeah, back when, like, you know, when, I think when you're a younger guy and you're starting to, like, date girls and have relationships with women, you can do this kind of clingy, insecure, what are we kind of thing? I mean, I don't know if you ever did that. Yeah, when I was like 14.

Right. Exactly. 17, 18, 19, 20. Who's counting? Yeah. You know. But he's old. than that so it's bad um so patty where is he going wrong if if if we were in how to close

ass for less money uh you got a back off jesus christ right absence makes the heart grow fonder yeah yeah you got to make her think you don't care about her yeah yeah yeah what can i get you space that's right right as a uh great man tom likis once said no i don't and he wasn't a great No, no, he was evil. He was evil. He's a massagist pig. But some of his tactics at work, he would have told a young Max, uh,

Max, uh, you treat him like dirt. They stick like mud deer. Right, right, right. And, uh, and Tom was wrong about, I would say 97% of the face. He was divorced four times. Right.

So you don't necessarily have to treat them like mud, but, um, definitely space. Definitely space, right? Because you don't want to be. be the equivalent of a kidnapper's garbage bag placed over their head and that's what you're being that's right so asia farts in the galley um not sure if you had thoughts on that you're very kind of you know live your best life it's fine it works for her shocking yeah look look

we've had a lot of people chime in and this some of our listeners had said female listeners had said look we got into this early in our marriage of you know farting in front of each other and it, like, kind of spoiled the sexuality. Right. Well, okay. We're not talking about, okay, Pat and I are two very, we have two very different marriages. Now, I won't lift my legs above my head and fart in front of my wife, but, you know, and I don't want to say that our assholes are just open

constantly around each other. That's disgusting, right? But if one slips out, you know, one slips out, it's not a big deal. Of course, of course, of course. But what Aisha's doing is farting in a communal space. What Aisha is doing is farting in a galley, a communal space. So do you have any thoughts on that?

Look, is there judgment? Yes, of course. Okay. Yeah. I'm not a fan. Okay, all right. I mean, is she on the table? I feel like I'm waterboarding you a little bit right now.

I mean, is she on a table, the lighter? Right. You know what I mean? No, I would go to human resources. Can I ask, when's it ever worked? Right? Because I've tried it so many times. Oh, my great Uncle Jerry did it at Christmas.

Eve one year. Really? Yeah. I mean, it was a pretty boring Christmas Eve party, but he just put that lighter between his legs. It did work. And it got some laughs. I wonder if he, I wonder what kind of internal working you have to have and what

kind of external workings you have to have because I would imagine the rectum has to be, I mean, a wider circumference, maybe. Although I don't know. Maybe it's like a bidet. It's the proximity. a lot of people don't want to dare put that flame as close as Uncle, great-uncle Jerry did. So you think it's about bravery.

It's about bravery because he did singe some of the fabric close to his anal cavity. Right, right, right. Yeah. I do think, though, you have to have a more kind of radioactive lower intestine, though. And I got to say, not for this show. I saw an Instagram real today. This woman had her butthel removed and all of her lower intestines, and it just comes out of her stomach.

Wow. It seems like kind of convenient, if I'm being honest. Yikes, speaking of anus, you know, as the sea rats clean this boat, did you see Kizzi, her, Kizzi and Nate are joking around, and as he walks up the stairs, she jams her index finger in his cornhole. Did you see that? I did see that. That's horsing around. That's fun, that's fun horsing around.

It's also called Maritime Law, in which there is no human resource department. Did she do it to Joe? No, she did it to Nate. Nate, okay. Yeah, yeah. The Human Resource Department in Maritime Law is a door with a sign on it that says, unless someone's head is missing or someone's dead, get over it. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Or it's a door marked pirate. What do you think, if you were working at Apple Corporation, what do you think? You get a million bucks for every finger jab up your fucking cornhole? Oh, if it was a, if it was a finger job up at cornhole, I would take Apple for a million dollars for each finger. No, a $10 million for each finger. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Emotional damage? Oh, yeah. I'd be walking around like a duck in that place, just trying to beckon people in. Can you imagine Mark Aragos up in there as your lawyer? Oh, yeah. Fighting for why it has to be 10. He'd give me tips on how to get somebody to fucking do it.

I mean, that's a big paining for that guy. On the new doc. And sorry, Mark Garagos, if you're confused, and we'll get back to the show in one second. He's the lawyer that has defended. If Hitler was alive, he would have defended him. You know what? Everyone deserves equal justice. Everyone deserves equal justice, especially Michael Jackson and Chris Brown.

And Scott Peterson. Scott Peters. And Kalin. Right. Caitlin. That's right. You defended me. Oh, my God. I love Mark. Listen. P. Diddy, too.

Yep. He's well-rounded. By the way, there's tape of Puff Diddy talking some major shit about Mark. Really? Yeah. Excuse me. Preferencing. The NFL players and the battle rapper

are coming aboard this vessel. They're bringing a Somalié with them. They're going to anchor next to the America a cup. Like I said, this is an actual, awesome, expensive vacation. Fucking bringing a Somalier with you. And I have this written down later, but I guess we can just get to it now. The only thing I was a little disappointed with was, let's get the Somalier in action. Because right now, currently, he's just a weird old white guy with these really cool dudes. I'm so happy you said that. That's skinny little sickly, uh,

guy he stuck out like a sore penis i'm like what the fuck get the fuck out of here at some point when uh i'm sorry who is kizzy hitting on uh the ultimate fighter his name's david yeah okay he's sitting next to david making small pot uh talks small kiz walks over and skinny little sickly uh white dick smallpox jumps out of the camera shot he does he knows his place yeah he does he does and you got to give it to him he got right up you know he's not he's like this is not my place. Yeah, I'm out of here. That's important because there are a lot of small poxy gangrenous white guys

that would just sit there and kind of breathe out of their mouth, you know. Nathan really has no chill, I got to say. He has to make a decision on the lead deck hand, and this decision is going to impress Sandy. He's in this manic kind of like hamster wheel with trying to impress her and get out from the hole that he's dug. He does select Joe, and Maximilian is pissed. He's really pissed.

He's so pissed, in fact. The later on the episode, he will openly defy the orders of his boss. And right now, he goes to the nose of the boat, and he screams. He's very upset. Yes, and he's nuts. Do you know any of these football players? I was thinking about giving him a goog. I didn't have enough time.

But their names, if their names didn't hit you, then you... I don't know. I mean, maybe, you know, a couple, a couple d-bs or something, I don't know. All right. The guests arrive. Max is meditating his bloodlust for Nathan away, and Kizzy is starting to flirt with the ultimate fighter.

Isn't it crazy how two people's eyes immediately catch each other than instant attraction? If Kizzy... Nope. I was going to say, if Kizzy wasn't attracted to, every single person that she's ever meant so far. Well, not everybody. She's not attracted to Josh. That's true. Yeah. But he's flirting back. He gets

the IG. The correspondence can now flow freely. Good job, kids. You two crazy kids. You know, love to see it. Let's get to lunch. We've got garlic sweet potato and an unnamed meat. I believe it was a tomahawk. I don't mind what OG did.

Give us a Chiron. Now, I lament that watermark blocks the Chiron, but we are flying through some of these meals, and this, to me, is an unnamed meat. Again, I'll say, I believe it was a Tomah. Could have been lamb. I don't know, though. Not okay.

For that, I give it one pot. Can I do it meanwhile? Yeah. Meanwhile, Kizzy's, I think she's in the crew mess or something. Kermit's in there. She's like, hey, Superior. Yeah. I think I want to have sex with a charter guest.

Yeah, yeah. And Kermit's like, no, you can't do that. Keep your koochie in your pants. Well, okay. And she didn't, okay, so Aisha goes, I'm concerned. Because if it was anybody else, ha, ha. But with you, I'm concerned, because you might actually do this. Okay.

The America's Cup. Awesome. Asia goes into And I did a little digging I called my European brother-in-law And I was like What's this called? Because he's super into this, right?

I remember I think it was last year We were over at the in-laws And he was like, we got to watch this And I was like, what? The fuck? But it's still cool. I don't want to watch sailing. It's so, it's like I know they're going fast,

but it looks really slow. Anyways, I'm not that into it, but I called him. I go, what's this thing? And he goes, it's the America's Cup. It was in Barcelona last year. I was like, okay, so this is it. And he said, because Asian's going on about how New Zealand's really good at it, and the country loves it.

New Zealand is so good that they keep winning this thing. But whoever wins it gets to host the event. Last year, New Zealand won it, or the time before this, they won it but because they'd won it the year before the time before they they broadcast it new zealand nobody watched because it's in fucking new zealand at whatever god's forsaken time so they negotiated gave it to barcelona and that's why we have the america's cup here with the sea rats parked right next to it and then america won this year did america win i think so i don't know why it's called the america's cup huh you know i started taking an interest in it when the today's show

before I'd go to school, Katie Couric and Matt Lauer back in the day, they'd cover it, really, really cover it. How did Katie sit next to that guy for that long? She's such a class act, and he's such a skeezy rat. Different time. Caleb, what do we got on the America's Cup? I'm still looking at it up. So Maximilian doesn't want to let Nathan relinquish and sour the legacy

that he's going to pass down to his grandchildren, that being Lee Deccand. So he's starting to get really, really... Maybe he'll kill Nate. Yeah, I mean, he's going to. getting hammed up. So Kizzy heads up to talk to the hot boys and locks in dinner in two hours. Seven-ish. That is not enough time to cook what he's cooking. It's just not. Now, I totally get that, but when Kermit does it the next day, she says 745, guys? Like, it seemed like she did the

same thing. I think, yeah, I don't know. Maybe Josh is mad that he's not snogging. Maybe he's not snogging. I'm just saying. Anything on the Americas Cup? Yeah, the 2024 winner was Emirates team, New Zealand. And then who was the time before that? No, but this could happen in 2025. I looked that up and it says there was no main America's Cup sailing event in 2025. No, it's like every four years or something.

Oh. Yeah. Interesting. Anyways, it's really cool that they got to park alongside of this and sad that one of the boats was just really bad. Let's get to a sit down with Captain Sandy. Now, V sits down with her and tells us, Captain Sandy about Bonn. Shaller water, shaller, let me say it. I'm going to say it. Shallow water blackout. Would you like to know what that is?

I know what it is. It's, okay. I was going to say it's when a drug deal goes wrong. No, no, no. We have the exit now that we can take. All right. Okay. A lot of inappropriate jokes. We will no longer do that. Because now that we know, it's the most common death of free divers. Yes. In which you hold your breath so long, you hyperventilate, and it tricks your body into thinking that you don't need to breathe and you drown. Really, really sad.

No, no. Don't play taps. My God, you sick, fuck. But we should play taps for Bonn. He seemed like a good guy. Oh, yeah. V seems like a really... Doing what he loved.

Doing what he loved. I think V and Bonn had a really... beautiful thing. I mean, much better than V and Joe the hoe. I mean, Joe, the hoe is nowhere near Bond. And that's what's so sick about life, right? Sometimes the good ones go. Yes.

You know? You know, think about it. Dying that way or living to be 65, a fucking drunk, living in a studio city, depressed. Yeah. No friends. All you did your whole life was hurt people. Dead end job that you hated.

You're just sitting there. You're looking hot. You just, uh, had sex with your girlfriend, then you went out and said, hey, I'm going to go down and, like, I don't know, throw a spear through some fish that we'll make some dinner later. You don't make it home because you, you know, you passed on to the other side.

I know. It's so sad. Or joyous. You know, it's interesting you say that I watched train dreams, you know, train dreams? Now. Kailen, you heard of train dreams? I have not.

Does he answer so quickly like he's upset? You know, know what we'll just move on hey uh why don't we read an ad all right okay uh before you can you work on that please it really throws me i'll work i want to say that is it inappropriate this is a podcast where we're supposed to make fun of everything i apologize if anybody was offended by anything that we did the last uh nine weeks uh we're trying to make the light of everything at last note did you see how fast kizzy got the hell out of there when uh viz you started telling this story to Sandy, she jumped and stepped over her to get.

She's like that white guy. Which one? The Somme. You know. Oh. But why are you saying, oh, nodding? Do you know what I'm talking about? No.

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All you need to know about the seasons TV. A world of entertainment wrapped up inside. Christmas begins with the RTE guide. Now, meanwhile, Josh is work. working his booty off in that galley i i want to say this about that as much as these chefs always say how stressed out they are and don't get me wrong they are i want to say they're in their happy zone you know when someone's working especially say all that again why why i i i tuned out oh sorry are you on loony right now no no oh okay well i was saying like when chefs are in their zone you know

it's there's something beautiful about someone being in their zone oh you're talking about a flow state A flow state, you're stressed out, but you're doing something. And my buddy, Glenn, he's like, I don't know. I think he got, took, had a minor in college in evolution. He always, like, breaks things down into evolution. Minor and evolution. Yeah, a minor in evolution, like, studies, like, why humans do what they do. And he would say what Josh is doing in this kitchen is he's like, it goes back to, like, when we were hunters and gatherers and a dude, and a dude would go out to gather food for the tribe.

It could have been a chick, too. We all had, like, hair on our tits back then. It was the chicks. Yeah, yeah, it was the chicks. We all had hair. Yeah. And we go out and like, like, when you, like, rolled that boulder off the cliff and it, like, crushed a goat's head. And you brought it back and everyone was happy they could eat.

Like, you had pride that brought you happiness. Yeah, because people think hunter gathering, they think berries and nuts. No, a big part of hunter gathering was rolling boulders on goats heads. That's right. And then you would gather that meat. That's right. And so. With massive hairy tits.

Yeah. So bring it back to Josh. He's doing a great job. All right. Let's get to, well, really quickly, I want to go back to this chat with Sandy, because, you know, V tells her about Bonn and says the body keeps the score and I'm starting to get kind of physical symptoms of the emotional distress. And Sandy says, like the C rat driver, she is, you know, that's nice, but we're going to have to learn to process that. That's right. But she does give her a break later on this afternoon.

I thought Sandy was going to be much more. I dated a girl her father was murdered every year right around that time. She'd exactly like V. Yeah. Makes sense. Yeah. Psychic ripples. Let's get to dinner, which is a mushroom and truffle tortellini with king crab and caviar.

We've got brazed meat and vegetables, a terrific middle of the road dinner. Wow. High praise. High praise. High praise. Hit them with truffle, hit them with caviar, hit them with... It was interesting that we went with a collective bucket of braised meat. That's interesting.

That's not okay. 25 pots. Kizzy in a huge suspects type twist. Fancy's being a wag. Yes. Are you familiar with what that is? Yeah, wife of a game. what is it wife or girlfriend of an athlete what does wag stand for what's the g girlfriend

uh what no it can't be a girlfriend uh we have a producer over here i believe because there was a series on vh one wife and or girlfriend is that what it means yeah what's a wag just give a second now let's be quiet while he looks this up okay wives and girlfriends oh wow okay wives and girlfriends you know i'm the perfect that's not very specific can i say this maybe we'll do a poll for our female audience can you be a person that is a wife and a girlfriend i am the perfect husband for women that like bravo i know all the shows i sit down and just hang out you're a gay man you don't even want to have sex yes i do well not really you It's exhausting.

Once a month is great. Right. But that's how much they want to have sex. Exactly. That's why I'm agreeing. You're perfect. David and the Somalia sit down with Kizzy, and this is where we said the Somalia gets right up. Now, Kizzy and David decide that they're going to try to bang later or something like that.

Well, they have to do a little code talk here. Yeah. They don't need to say it directly. Right. Right. Yeah, it's code. Next morning. Next morning.

David, Texas, sir. Good morning. Do not do this. Oh, no, no, no, no. I like this. Oh, do you really? Oh, yeah, yeah. From one player to another, much respect.

Good move. These are the small details that most dudes don't pick up on. A way to get to a woman's heart is small gestures like this. I'd always do this when I'd start meeting a girl. Small gestures, good morning. Hope you have a great day. Always guaranteed me at least third base. Right.

but in this situation it's more of a hello remember we're supposed to have sex later and so are you saying that's what it always is well that was the subtext of good morning you don't want to ever say i can't wait to finger bang you later um my that was really do me a favor and not because you say that word all the time and it's such a fucking overt word you know what i mean I'll consider it. Thank you. Smoked far too much pot. I mean, it's ridiculous. You guys got to cut me off at a certain point. So, pros before bros. Sandy is seeing Joe Bloom into a lead deckhand right before our eyes,

the action he took to convince her of that growth, asking one of the gremlins what to do. Wow. It's like, well, what? How does he get lead deckhand? has no idea how to drop a fucking anchor mind blown all right i want to say this do you heard it here first don't be shocked if he is bosen next season jo the ho jo the ho i think we've seen the last of nate he's great tv he's a joe the ho he's a little softer than our past bosons

i don't know joe the ho's not bosen material to me maybe though he'd be a good bosen he'd bang everyone in the interior. That's what I'm saying. All right. So we go sailing. One of the guys throws up does not go well. This whole thing does not go well. And it takes up exactly about 28 seconds. Right, exactly. So Max is sent over in the tender to drive them over. They do not want to sail back. Now, there are two problems with Max's approach. One, he just drives back and he doesn't tell them. And they need to get stuff ready. Luckily, Aisha is a very talented chief stew. So she catches the mistake. Number two is he just lets the guest drive again. And he's been told not to do that in no uncertain terms. A helpful little patty or batty informed us because they work in this industry. It is very illegal to even let a charter guest touch the steering wheel. So pretty nuts stuff.

Max did this intentionally as an act of defiance. Oh, yeah. He gets back and that's what I've written down. Maxa million is defiant. He lies defiantly and Nathan catches him on it. But first we've got to get to, well, yeah, I guess, does Nate, is this where Nathan approaches? There's, we jump to the galley where Kermit is noticing that Josh is kind of leaning on the family style. The tongs are coming out a little too much.

Now, I would argue, I remember there was an eight-course meal, at least a few charters back, but I'd say it's a new family style to every new charter. Well, this is what I got to say to Asia. And I understand that Asia comes from the world. And a lot of people that go on these, it's a little. little bit like Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills is not representative of class or what's actually good. It's just representative of Beverly Hills. I watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Right. So Kathy Hilton is just eating potatoes all the time with caviar on top of them, sucking it up like something from Starship Troopers or something. And then she yells at DJs that they're gay when they don't play her favorite Michael Jackson song. Well, not that. She actually uses a slur. But, well, essentially, yeah, that's what she said. So anyways, family style is all the rage. And it's done, you know, you go to the Dunsmoor out here in Eagle Rock,

one of the hottest restaurants. They'll drop a family style cornbread right in front of you. You know, this can be done very, very well, but Aisha is stuck in the chuggy land of yachting. With that being said, you cannot just dump a bowl of braced beef out on the table. That's not okay. What is this? A fucking penitentiary?

What? That's crazy. All right. So Sandy sends V down because she's a little sick. And Joe, despite the thick stew that he's in. Now, I was a little confused by this. I thought he was going to march forward and continue to have sex with her. But no, you're saying the expiration date has hatched.

Okay. I'll break it down. Okay. Thank you. um sandy uh telling v to go down to get some rest joe the ho oversees this and he's triggered by this and he starts questioning is is he the right guy for this now 10 minutes ago he said he was all the way in right he must have been referring to his cum cannon because he's a total jerk yeah cc and then 24 hours before the cum canon actually went off he said i want you to meet my parents

I don't know if I'm a great guy for this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's get to Paia, one of my favorite foods. We can obviously see that as Josh begins the cooking, the pan is way too hot. And we know that. We know that, not the rice, but the foundational elements that the rice will sit atop. Now, we immediately know that this can't reach a 10, right off rip. You know what?

He mentioned this, and you'd mentioned this before, as far as the culinary arts, there is no, it's almost like a snowflake. There's no one that is the same as the one before it. Right. And paella is a perfect example of that. It's its own entity, right? It does what it wants. And that's why people can cook it for decades and decades and decades.

It's always a trial, right? But you can't start with a pan way too hot, ripping hot like this, okay? We're automatically at a nine. Now, it does look like a delicious paellaeia, though, I will say. It's loaded with shrimp lops. muscle's chicken a salad of capraise and cucumber is sat beside it also a little calamaw no thank you no thank you with this caprazy cucumber shit and this fucking god damn fried calamari i mean what what what are we at a fucking bowling alley in the bronx or something like what

fuck is this okay i don't know why i said that but but I do think it didn't belong. 57 pots. Okay. Now, Kizzy and David chat on the side of the boat. She kind of does the thing where her hands are behind her back and she's, you know, she's, you know, flirting and he's flirting too. It's just like Jack and Rose.

Yeah, just like Jack and Rose. Nothing is going to happen. I agree. And that's the end of the show. Kailen, how do you think we did? Fantastic. Okay, great. Get in the comments.

Let us know how you think we did. What are your... What the fuck? Oh, sorry. He just folded his paper with his teeth. Oh, and don't forget, you know what? Throw your hat into Patreon. You know, there's something special, gum it up.

Okay, yeah. CratCon is this Friday. Yeah. So go to patreon.com slash AKA Deepwater's. Sign up for that. That's going to be the $12 tier. And, yeah. Traders to come and yeah, Beverly Hills started last week or this week. So it was a fun

recap. A lot of fun stuff. All right. We love you very much. I'm Dylan Zick. Bye, Pat. Say goodbye. Later, dudes. That magical time of year once more With mince pies and pudding and treats galore Taking pride of place by the twinkling tree All you need to know about the seasons TV A world of entertainment wrapped up inside Christmas begins

with the RTE Guide.