Another Below Deck Podcast - The Eyes of the Breasts | Below Deck Med S8 E8

Episode Date: November 14, 2023

Dylan and Pat are back to break down Beatlemania, Richard III, panic attacks, ratting, nipples being the breasts of the eyes, splinters and more from Bravo's Below Deck Med. To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code: (badtv) to get free shipping & 30% off your first order.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/

I don't even want to call it irony. When Nat walks in and tells Kyle that Jess was upset about a text that she didn't see until I told her to look at it, that she wasn't upset about until I told her to be upset about it, and it all needs to stop. I mean, I just wanted to throw up my arugulais out quite frankly.

Welcome aboard another broad cast of another deck podcast. My name is Dylan. Hello, Pat. Hey, great to be here. Great to be here. We're recording, right? Yeah, we're recording. So hey, happy day to you, the audience and happy day to us because what an episode of below deck we have to get into. I mean, the Sea Rats are Sea Ratting. Very much so. Oh, my goodness gracious. This is quite the episode. I don't want to get into my thoughts. Tomb Raider with the MVP performance.

My God. I think that was 18 people. That was awesome. I don't even do that. I thought it was pretty prolific. I know Prince is dead, but, I mean, eat your heart out. Public service announcements. Pat? Yes. Take service announcements. Pat?

Yes. Take it away. Okay. I got to keep mentioning this because I feel like I got to get you guys over. I got to get you to the winter house table because you love us recapping below deck. But could you love us recapping another show? Of course you could. It's the same thing.

It's sea rats, but they're on land and in the snow. Yeah. Which you take any archetype. You put it in an environment that it's not used to hilarity ensues. Is it a horrible show? Absolutely yes, but can I tell you something the last step is I rarely

listen to our shows, but the last episode of winter house, I actually listened to it because I thought it was such a juicy fun time. It was a great time. Yeah, I enjoy really, really funny. I'm excited to get to tonight's episode too, because I don't think I've ever hated anyone on reality television more than I hate Corey and the hatred for him is it's kind of petrifying my tongue as you can hear. So anyways, go ahead for clarity sake.

So you were referring to Corey from Winter House, but there's a guy on there from Below Deck from last season of Down Under named Alex. And he came off nice while he was on Below Deck and he is a pig on Winterhouse. And we'll get to that later in the week. So when Winterhouse pops up in your feed, give

us a shot, will you? Click play. Also, patreon.com slash another podcast network. Dylan and I have recorded episode one of season two, starring Captain Sandy Yan. Yeah. It's an amazing crew. It's an amazing season so far. That's at patreon.com slash another podcast network.

Yeah, that'll be out this week. And oh, sorry, I interrupted you. I was going to say for $5, okay? You get that and you also get Dylan and I doing a, usually a one-hour show called another podcast show where we just gab and goof about whatever's top of mind oh lastly uh i don't think we've put this out yet because it needs to be edited so much we have episode 10 of season one of below deck we had quite a recording thing because we had cat on and sam from season one

the thing the show just went off the rails. And so we'll get that up. But the reason for that is it's quite a bit of editing to protect the guilty. Can I, can I, can I make an admission? I think about opening up that file and I'm just like, oh my God. I mean.

We have people that agreed to an interview that refused to answer any questions. It was a hot mess. They told us to bleep things out because people are looking for them. Nobody's looking for you. I mean, literally no one. Maybe not even your family, but that's sad.

Let's get into the show, okay? Great PSAs, man. Thank you, dude. Thoughts and pots, if the show. Okay. Great PSAs, man. Thank you, dude. Thoughts and pots. If I may. Please. You described last week as an onion. Circular firing squad.

Okay. Little little fingers are at it again. this is a layer cake of deceit and vitriol and fucking a J and Kyle and and and that and to me. I mean it was just absolutely. It kind of reached a tipping point where it got exciting and entertaining again, because it's been fatiguing of late, but tonight it was it was so much knuckleball nonsense of backstabbing that it was actually quite enjoyable. Then, as we mentioned, tomb raider, mvp performance, I mean just taking the entire

struck the whole bar down the entire bar down. I mean flip your cap to the back and get after a tomb raider. I mean flip your cap to the back and get after a tomb raider. I mean what a badass I got to say ninety two pots probably wow that's your high risk score this and also I'm going to be maybe a little bit softer on Kyle this evening, because you know, like like any good like infographic where they're showing like a you know those ones where they're

like mo the most money or most it's it's tough to explain. They're all they're on social media. It's like over the years, this many people have this many Instagram followers and it's like Cristiano Ronaldo. So there's, it's like a tortoise in the hair kind of thing. Who's the worst? Nat and Kyle and Nat for a moment jumped over him tonight. And I am so sorry.

I think I hit this weed pen a little too hard before we got into the proceedings, but I'm letting you know now, please start talking. Okay. Lots of infighting, which I, I always have not a fan of in this show.

I will begin the show if Dylan allows me to give a breakdown of the game film. But before I get there, this episode was amazing. And it's amazing for quite a few reasons. One, I loved take a shot gate. I always love when they tempt fate and do the sea

rats do something they know they're not supposed to be yeah yeah they're gonna be very very naughty little secrets uh but that was interesting kind of the dynamic of to me kind of insisting that he go rat himself out or she or no no not her someone right yeah dare i say after the charter guests were off the boat that um that issue had remedied itself it's a little bit like um farting in an elevator and pretending like the other person did it you know sure because how how would anyone else is gonna tell her right it has to be you great point i also love when the sea rats go out to a bar where there are people during the COVID seasons. Going out were real just extensions of staying on the boat because no one was at those

clubs and bars. I love that we have sea rats mixing it up with charter guests. It's amazing television. Great episode. Well done. 48 knots. So we begin where we last left off as is the case with most episodes in fighting well i was just talking about chronological activity oh happenings you know what i mean dylan do you mind if i break down the game film of course i think we can go back and uh go right back to where you'd like to start but But if you don't mind, I'd like to set the stage for the television show. Yeah. Jessica Ann is perplexed why Kyle, who talks behind people's backs and also back channels information, is yelling at her. Okay.

And she confides her frustrations to Natalia, who has a penchant for talking behind people's backs and back channeling information. Right. backs and back channeling information right who just had it out with to me who occasionally traffics behind people's backs and uh and also back channels information and don't get me started on tomb raider because she kind of lit the match on this motherfucker yeah yeah it's a bunch of backstabbers yeah it's like a physics class i just don't understand it's like a dumb physics class. I just don't get what's going on. So more catty shit. Kyle is just launching into Anne and she asks

a great question. How is this little tiny thing getting projected onto me and Anne is very Anne's very Anne about the whole thing in the beginning. She's a little stunned but calm the way that Anne is. She's a little stunned, but calm the way that Ann is. She's unflappable and likes to make egg salad in sandwich bags. You

need not pull a knife out or anything like that. You can just mush it in the back, but she will eventually break down later in the episode, and I got to say it was heartbreaking. Oh, yes, it was. I feel protective of Anne, and I think that Anne may have busted out of her cocoon into her given name this evening. Ah, yes, yes, yes. I will also mention, we'll get to this,

her Sea Rat history. She put quite a showing in on the Sea Rat sad scale. Yeah, yeah. Solid showing. Sudded Kyle, he jumped out of a moving vehicle because he was in so much mental ang scale. Yeah. Yeah. Solid showing. Sudden Kyle. He jumped out of a moving vehicle because he was in so much mental anguish. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm excited to see where that falls on the Sea Rat sad scale. Yeah. I might not want to talk. So Kyle is contrarily very Kyle about it. He's speaking in such grandiose terms about what has taken place. He'll say later on in the evening that his heart is sore

as though he is in some kind of fucking Shakespeare play. But right now he just says I'm hurt. And it's odd because I don't think that he necessarily views people as people. So if you don't see people as people, they can't really hurt. Correct. And I don't think he actually is hurt. So there's more in Italian. Oh, yeah.

AJ shit. Okay. All right. So I'll say this. I just can't. This ends with Kyle chatting with Toomey about how upset he is about Jessica backstabbing him. And that's when Toomey decides she will,

for the remainder of this charter, be Switzerland. Her mandate moving forward is everyone can work out their issues to themselves and she will be Switzerland in more. It's very apt that she's going to play the role of Switzerland because while she is remaining neutral, she is still funding both the allies and the access powers. It's a great way to put it. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So now, Nat. We see you, Switzerland. It's not all chocolate. It's a lot of payments to the Nazis, too. That's right. You know, not saying to me is doing not.

What was that? I thought I heard a pop. Did you hear? I heard a pop. Okay. Anyway, yeah, Nat lets Luca know that she needs therapy, I heard a pop. Okay. Anyway. Yeah. Nat lets Luca know that she needs therapy. And she does because she's confused why she's still into a guy that's entering other women and then calling her.

These are what these phone calls sound like. I have a transcript. Yeah. Hey, it's AJ. Hey, Nat, you're probably crying now because I just told you that I had sex with another girl. But I kind of do it because I enjoy it. And you should know there was a second girl and she was kind of do it because I enjoy it. And you should

know there was a second girl and she was plunging the business end of a mop up my asshole. Oh, is that some more crying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well, I got to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he's just a great guy. Yeah, he's a great guy. Hey, AJ, let's do this. Sanctioned boxing match, pal. Three rounds. Three rounds, three minutes, winner takes all. And you know, are you

worried about the pop still? Yeah. Should we check on that? No, I think it's okay. I think the pop's okay. I think that the pop is maybe in our headphones, and you know what it reminds me of? In sync? The injury sustained by the poor and or deserving Megan Rapinoe this weekend. I know she's very triggering.

People get very upset about her or they love her. And we love... Everyone. Whoever you love. Whoever you love, we love everyone. Whoever you love, whoever you love, we love and and by the way, can we say and I don't mean to say this sarcastically big women's national team supporters. Okay, Pat and I both watch dare to dream on an annual basis and we cry our fucking eyes out every time Brandy puts

that penalty past that chinese goalkeeper right absolutely it's about so much more than sport so what's going on okay the charter guest you may need to have to i'm gonna hear this one all right the charter guests visit chef jack and we learn he's going to be making tortellini and chocolate mousse for dinner. Delicious. He said it was like Beatlemania down here. Yeah, they were throwing their bras at him. A little bit of a false equivalency in that there were hundreds of thousands of screaming fans all around the world. Millions, I would say, all around the world. And this is two people on vacation just coming to check out what he was cooking because they're bored.

Now, we love Jack. Very much so. I love that dude. just coming to check out what he was cooking because they're bored now we love jack but very much so i love that dude uh oh by the way as far as chefs uh another little uh tease here uh later in the week we have an interview with chef zarina uh dylan and i uh we interviewed her and then we went out and had drinks we got lots of tea you're gonna enjoy that oh my gosh okay back to the show all right max uh jumps uh on this tour that uh of the primary in Sonali, I believe her name is. Yeah. And he takes him down to that little area where all the sea rats live.

Yeah. And apparently read Taoist sex books that teach you how you can conserve sperm in your balls to achieve a one-hour orgasm. Yeah, he talks about ejaculation of men, and that's not appropriate. And Sandy mentioned this. These charter guests, we're going to take these sea rats up to a line that they could either cross or not cross. And I think it's pretty clear that when you're showing women the highlighted passages of a Taoist book on sex, the line is behind you. Well, he's a frisky little French bread-eating Frenchman. Yeah, they do eat French bread.

But he doesn't bite the apple, Dylan. What does that mean? Isn't that like a reference to Adam and Eve biting the apple? Yeah, but what's the apple? Oh, he didn't bang one of them. Oh, okay, got it. So Jessica and Kyle have a little chat, or she attempts to have a little chat,

because when she says, hey, Kyle, can we talk? He says, get out of my fucking face. He says, is my heart sore? Yes. And that is when Ann breaks down at Kyle calling her malicious. She goes to to me. She's weeping. And that is when Tomb Raider carefully and cautiously interrupts and says,

whenever you guys are done, we need a couple more lychee martinis. Just whenever you guys can get to it. And that's professionalism right there. There's no crying in yachting. I don't want to tell Toomey how to do her job because we've had a lot of horrible chief stews over the years that we've been

recapping this show. But Toomey, now would be a good time if I could offer some advice to hold an interior meeting to announce no more backstabbing, no more backchanneling, no more fighting, and the next person to do it is getting fucking fired, including yourself. But that does not happen.

Not only does that not happen, conversations one-on-one are claimed to have happened and still do not happen. This is Toomey's first rodeo, so we got to all lot her some patience, but and Kyle and Natalia are tour to forces in terms of toxicity, but no, she's not handling this well. It's a little bit like when JFK first got into office. He was just like, you know, people are trying to just tear me this way and that way. To me, it's like JFK. Oh, man. Yeah. Hey, want to get to a little Sea Rat history? Oh, my gosh. Okay. This is just so sad. I'm going to say on the Sea Rat sad scale,

this fair is much better than her last outing, Dylan. If you remember, it was something about her not liking cheerleading or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a zero. Yeah, that was a 0.0. Well, on this outing, she never met her dad, raised by her mother, not yet used to a strong male figure yelling at her. Solid four, once again, to remind the audience, if you can get a gun involved, we always add two points. And that's just the truest thing we've ever said. If a gun is involved, it's automatic two points,

depending on where the gun is involved. That could be seven points on its own. If the gun is fired shortly before an eight-year-old ballet, I mean, we are talking about nines and tens. I mean, that's how you get up there. We're going to hell i think though that this would probably be a little higher on my c-rat scale just because you know listen it's very very intimidating is that pop again it's very intimidating for i don't think any woman

likes when a man lords over her and begins screaming at her, which is exactly what Kyle did. I don't care that he's a fabulous service queen. He is a foot taller than her, much bigger, and just standing over her and screaming, not to mention he's higher up in the ranks the whole thing was so insane that it was just kind of i don't know if piecemeals that's definitely not the right word but it seemed like this kind of commonplace thing that just happens and when you watch it you're just like i know that this is reality tv but that is a really inappropriate fucking thing that just took place there. You know who agreed with you?

Hayley. She can't believe how immature this goddamn interior is. And I was watching her as she was talking about it, as she was mentioning it, that she was throwing darts at a picture of an anteater. Yeah, yeah. Despises him. And can I be a pig real quick?

Please. I don't understand. Hayley has gone under the radar as just un... I mean, holy smokes. We're not seeing enough of her on the show? Because she's pretty weird. No, I'm just saying she's extremely attractive. Oh, yeah, she's a beautiful girl.

Should have made out with Laura. How'd she dodge that bullet? I don't know. Maybe she's... Haley may be asexual. She may be like a starfish. Although I don't know if they're asexual. I don't know much about marine biology. But I feel like most of the asexual things are in the ocean.

Yeah. Some animals, they can have babies without even having sex with it. I mean, am I losing it tonight? No, no, you're fine. You're fine. My God. It's fine to me speaks to kyle about staying away from jessica because that's a great solution yeah

and then to me updates jess and kyle uh that he won't be uh verbally abusing her uh anytime soon sure but that's not what happens um she she goes up there to have a conversation about how inappropriate that was, but and I understand that because Kyle is her pretty much second stew. There's a camaraderie there between them and they have to be working, you know, simpatico in order for the charters to be successful, but she does not tell him anything punitive or

corrective at all. She's just like you guys need some space. Well, that was kind of my point. It's basically just a band-aid on a fairly larger wound that is still bleeding. Let's let's try to suture something here though right to him and I know that space is helpful, but also it would be good to check Kyle's ego to tell him that it was really inappropriate what he did so we get a text from Natalia to AJ. I love you. I think it's returned. I want to you know. So there's an elevator right you get in the elevator and there's like a fortieth floor right and you need a key. I want to get the key. I want to go to the fortieth floor and I want to just sail off it when these two are on the screen and honestly

I kind of wanted to tell you to depart the boat, so we don't have to put up with this a J Natalia shit anymore. It's just too suffocating. I agree with you and it's boring at this point. Is not i mean my goodness gracious it is it is i mean a lot of people in our a lot of barnacles in our facebook group they uh share your opinion of this oh and also aj my man who be careful this is not a good idea to um have your bitch go on reality television you know because you have such strong dominion over her. You would think that you would prevent her from doing this, but once you get on reality television and you are as fucking accurate as you are, the fans of this show will sleuth out

pretty much everything about your life. The fans of this show are like political opposition researchers. They're the reason why people say I'd like to run for president, but I definitely don't want to because of people like below deck fans. They will find everything out about you and they have join us at our Facebook group and you'll get some

tea there, which we probably can't. No, it would not be good. We'll leave it to comment threads because you know you can't we have a responsibility. We have journalistic integrity. We can't just be shouting that stuff out. So meanwhile, yes, me, Laura and Max growing on each other, growing on each other. We move

on to the boat cruise, the booze cruise, excuse me, and I don't know anything on this. Well, not really just there. Luca and Max are dressed up like a magic Mike, which movie I very much enjoyed. Yeah, magic Mike. I didn't like the sequel. Would you go to the show in Vegas

and wear pants in case you got brought up on stage? Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm part of the American Ballet Foundation. This is disgusting. So we get ready for the neon casino night when sandy heads back um lara and uh tomb raider and nat are very excited to see her and when sandy gets on the boat she seems like she doesn't have

a lot of fucking time for their enthusiasm she just walks right by she's a little uh sour and i understand why patrick she sustained an injury, she fractured her wrist big time big time and in one of the most lesbian things Sandy's ever said. She said I knew I fractured my wrist because the other one was fractured while I was snowboarding. Now I know that that's not plenty of

straight women snowboard, but just in that context, Sandy saying it. Oh my God is so funny. So unbelievably funny. I can't wait till she visits us on a winter house in a couple episodes. Oh yeah. She's going to be boarding. She will be. Yeah.

I bet she fucking rips it up too. She does too. So, um, Kyle and Natalia clean a room together and you're not going to believe this. Kyle is complaining about Ann. Yeah. Really quickly though,

Pat, can we talk about the, uh uh the job that nicola has done holding this ship together okay so this is the interim captain of the vessel i mean i can't think of a worse job i mean sandy departs this boat she leaves nicola in charge the next thing you know we've got the charter guests going downstairs, reading Taoist sex passages. We've got Jack Luby talking to people. We've got people in fighting. I mean, Nikola, he should only be trusted with machinery, and that's it. I mean, the morale and decorum of this boat just completely got nuked

when Sandy left. Absolutely. She's the glue that holds this all together. Yeah, yeah. She really is. Yeah. Hey, Dil, I think think it's dinner time you want to get into dinner yeah let's do it um so we've got sage oh hey i should just say this um we we speak with the captain i'm sorry the chef of this vessel on this season he got a raw deal as far as below deck editors showing the beautiful work that he created on these vessels i saw some photos of

dishes that you guys didn't get to see magnificent work magnificent magnificent work great job um really quickly um when when kyle says there's some moment where he says what am am I supposed to say? Thank you for talking shit. There's a lot of, and we've seen it the entire season, but there's a ton of pot calling the kettle black happening between him and Natalia. They almost only speak in hypocrisy. they almost only speak in hypocrisy. If Kyle's, Kyle is like trilingual.

He speaks English, Afrikaans, and he speaks shit. He only talks shit. So this, this fucking woe is me, Pearl clutching, grab Lucas pearls,

get them on and clutch them is just, you have to just roll your eyes at it. But like I said, Nat overtakes him a little bit in viciousness tonight. So let's get to dinner. Sage and squash tortellini, a delicate noodle taxingly rolled out, I would imagine, paired with a plate. The next course is pan fried snapper with cauliflower and saffron sauce. You know, I don't know if I'm being gaslit by the culinary world, but I thought we had graduated from sauce. I thought we were using gastric and reductions and stuff like that. And that's fine. If we want to go back to sauce, we'll go back to sauce. But can someone send me a memo? I want to be on the same page with everybody.

I don't want to be in the front lines with an army retreating behind me. Okay, it's just crazy. I feel naked out here. I'm not sure what's going on. Next up is dessert. It's chocolate something, but the problem here 71 pots. The problem here is that what what's what's going on? I just feel bad for chef jack. If there were more,

you know, courses that they cut out, you know. We got tortellini, fish, and chocolate something. That's it? Okay. Good. All good. But what's been requested is for the Liverpudlian to come up and join the gals for dessert.

And he does just that. And that is when the animal house or he begins he is pressured into ripping a shot um what were your thoughts on this to me uh seemed i have lots of thoughts on yes okay so to me uh is asked if chef he can take a shot by the paying charter guests and i believe she says it's up to him and the captain, which I believe from a rank perspective is correct, because technically the chef does not fall under her department. He's his own boss.

That's true. Now, I am going to defend the shot taken. I don't think members of the exterior should ever cross the line with a drink on charter, because you can, uh, kill someone by accident if you're drunk with that boat. But, uh, chef that has just finished service,

um, and really just needs to wash some fucking pants and then go to bed. I think he can have a shot. Yeah. And if the, uh, the tip depends on it, I think it's okay.

And, and it's rude when you turn down a drink. Yeah. It's rude when you turn down pretty drink. Yeah, it's rude when you turn down pretty much anything except for maybe the death of another like the opportunity to kill another if you're like I'm

okay. I don't think anybody can really fault you for that. You know, it just depends on the day. What kind of mood you're in. It's true. Maybe a hot dog. If you've had like way too many, you go, what kind of mood you're in. It's true. Maybe a hot dog. If you've had like way too many, you go, no, I can't have any more. I'll never eat a hot dog again. What do you mean you'll never eat a hot dog again?

I ate a Dodger dog in the ninth inning. Never eat a Dodger dog or any kind of manufactured tube meat after the fourth inning. Honestly. Took me out for two days. I think Jew dogs are fine to eat Hebrew National anything all beef. I don't know. I don't know what's going on, but there is a game of butthole roulette. You play when you mess with pork in tubed form at any of the, you know, kind of fast, casual, quick fire establishments,

you know, be it a Dodger stadium or Wienerschnitzel. Yes. You know, I'm not going to be fucking with that anytime soon. I mean, you were in a lot of harm. Oh yeah. It took me out for two days, man. Yeah. And that's what that can do to you. You sit down and you think I'm going to be a part of the tapestry of this tradition, right? And next thing you know, you are crying. And you're bleeding. And you're praying for something to save you. Death, actually. Well, Toomey then heads to the bar to tell Jess

that Sheffy just took a shot. Toomey, I like you a lot. You're a great hard worker, as is most of the other backstabbers. You're going to get better. You're going to get better. You're going to get better. I know going to get better. You're going to get better. I know I'm sounding like I'm beating on you,

but you got to stop with this gossiping bullshit. And I know you did this a year ago and you're probably looking back on it going, oh, Jesus fucking Christ. But it's not good. It's not good. We learn from watching ourselves on television, don't we? Yes, we do.

You know what? I've gotten so much better having watched myself on these videos and whatnot. I'm like, why did you say that? Yeah. I mean, good God, if I listened back to this episode, I would just be hanging my head in shame

for many, many portions. But you know what will help relieve my anxiety about a collective group of people listening to my nonsense this evening? What is that, Dylan? Microdose. Microdose! Microdose is an unbelievable product that can help with creative

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THC, go to microdose.com and use code bad TV to get free shipping and 30% off your order. Your first order, excuse me. Again, that is microdose.com, use code bad TV, lowercase, one word to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Pat, are you incorporating this into your life? Yes, I love it. So actually I take a gummy before I go to bed. They come in these beautiful little squared off like plastic containers. I put it in my highest shelf. I get home, the wife and I talk, we hang out, we get through the day of, you know, discuss what we had through the day. And then I want to just relax and get a good night's sleep. So I just take a half a gummy, boom. I don't wake up till 730 when my kids are shouting my name, daddy. And I'm renewed. I got a great night's sleep.

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To me, it well, I mean, should this be taken off the table? What figuratively this casino night option? I mean, when you're sitting there and you're gambling with fake chips on a felt that has wrinkles in it, how are you not like, what are we doing here? I mean, why did we say we should do this? I don't know. Maybe people just love gambling outside of Las Vegas.

We got a couple in you. It doesn't matter how it looks. I mean, ultimately, on a lot of these things, just to take a fun photo that your life is so much better than everybody you went to high school with. And that's so important. That's really, really important.

Yeah. You know, he was really good at that. Oh, AJ, the poor man's Dan Bilzerian fucking douchebag. So to me and Jack sit down and they have a little chat. Oh yes.

And this is... This is like some noir kind of shit. Like, I got dirt on you. Are you going to tell? I don't know. Maybe she's going to find out. A cigarette is smoked and an alleyway is walked down. You know what I mean?

That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She tells him he needs to tell sandy he took that goddamn shot before someone else does like a charter guest or a second stew or a member of the deck team or you yeah yeah yeah because no one from the deck team saw it and no other second student. You mentioned it to Ann, but she didn't see it with her own eyes. And as we'll see the next day,

the charter guests hand an envelope full of money and then leave without mentioning it. Despite the fact that it was a very long improvised review of the charter. It was never mentioned. Oh, and our best favorite part was when Chef Jack took a shot with us. That's not mentioned. So it could technically be a moot

point at that time. Now, I understand where Toomey's coming from because Toomey has her own ass to take care of and it is protocol that she's got to tell the captain

and we've seen this before you know um this kind of required viciousness this required kind of two-fanged ratting that the chief stews have to do we saw asia do this to margo um but i would say it's a little bit different because Margo was blackout. Jack took a, you know, half a watered down shot that the guests were making him take. But, you know, Dylan, can I jump in here and got to me? I apologize. We're going to have you on the show. I know it seems like we're beating up on you a little bit, But to me, when the charter guest asked her at the table while she was servicing the table, if he could do it at that point, I, and this is me just Monday quarterbacking, I would like to think I'd say, look, it could probably get him in trouble. I know he'd like

to, and we'd want to make that, but that would get him in trouble. It's actually kind of, it's against public policy, but I'll leave it up to him. Instead, it's up to him and the captain. Yeah. Well, listen, you know, many have said nothing is as lit as a bunch of white chicks on a boat. And Jack fell under the pressure of that, and he failed to uphold the standards of professionality in his station. And he's going to get fired for it. By the way, I didn't mention this. Sandy, you occasionally, I fall in love with you.

She cracked me up with that. Are we there yet? Are we going to get to Kyle falling down and pretending that he's dying? Oh, no. We're going to get to Kyle falling down and pretending that he is dying. So Kyle has been feeling faint all day. And that is when he gets to the evening and he hits... It is Shakespearean.

I love that you had that example. Oh, my gosh. Quite a monologue. Midsummer's Night, panic attack. I don't know a lot of Shakespearean. I love that you had that example. Oh my gosh. Quite a monologue. Midsummer's Night, Panic Attack. I don't know a lot of Shakespeare plays. Me neither, but it sounded like something I used to be forced to go watch in elementary school. Like, this is boring.

But it would be like, Oh, thou, the blood bleed from thy heart. Othello. Oh, I... Yeah, it was kind of like that. Yeah, Othello. Except I think he needed to take a shit was it what is it rich is

it richard the third i think i've seen that one richard the fourth i don't know which it's richard the third what's another one to kill a mockingbird so um kyle like we said hits the deck and he begins to...

We've talked about, and I don't... I was going to go into my Uncle Hub and his moniker as the Great Wounder because he hunts drunk, but Kyle sounds like a wounded animal right now, and it is because of an anxiety attack brought on by his own bullshit. Jesus Christ. Oh my God.

I don't even think it was an anxiety attack. I'm not sure I've. I don't think I've ever had an anxiety attack. I was driving one time and things got really black and I didn't know what was going on. Thankfully, I was a block away from my house. I kept driving. But I don't know. Are you this like composed when you're having an anxiety attack? Are you this performative when you're having an anxiety attack?

I'm not sure. Yeah, I don't know what it was. Maybe it was a cry for help. But anyway, to me, surmise that it's stress from the season. Possibly so. What happened with Kyle, I think, if it was an anxiety attack, which it was. Okay.

Kyle, I think, was having, and this is good. I think that this bodes well for Kyle because he may have a sore heart in there yet. He recognized that the overinflated aggression that he directed towards Ann was the same shit he had been trafficking in for a week and a half, two

weeks. Probably a good number of years, quite honestly. You don't just show up to a boat and start that behavior. So when you're outwardly lying inwardly to yourself that drastically, I'm sure there's a little bit of fault line rupturing in there. Of course. You know? Of course.

So he hits the deck. Hey, let's get to some fun stuff though, Bill. We get to hear AJ's voice. He calls Natalia and he's happy and she's happy to hear from him. Why? Because it's a day where he's not coming on someone else. Even the Golden State Killer had his good days. someone else. Even the Golden State Killer had his good days. I feel like he's the banker in Deal or No Deal.

And there are similarities with women's holding briefcases and whatnot. But yeah, we heard his voice and he sounds like of course what he sounds like, an accountant. So he says, I feel like part of my soul is gone when I'm not with you.

Get me. Does it go? Does this building have more than 40 floors? take me to the Burj Khalifa with this guy. I am so sick of this fat buff loser talking on this show. He's like he's a there's a lot of sea rats on this boat. I don't know like nine ten. He's like an extra limb. He's like a vestigial tail. He's like a fucking bunion. He's always there. He's on the show more than Haley. Yeah, he's like a ghost. So we get some sea right history with Kyle. I mean, there you go. You might be getting into the

the red half of the scale with this one. Yeah. Yeah, it was sad. Yeah. Kyle's got to I was got to talk to somebody because I just think he's going through it right now. I don't think he likes the person that he is right now. Probably not. Or he loves it and he's an absolute narcissist.

So the text, we get a text from Kyle before he hits the sheets. Now I, all right, so Natalia shares with Anne what she thinks the inner meaning of the tail end of this text is. I read it multiple times. I could not figure out what the hell Kyle was trying to say. No, it's a very confusing text. I have it here. Okay. Thanks to Nat and Toomey for being there for me today. Breaking point has been reached officially.

I can no longer obtain any personal life matters from anyone. That is just a throes of fucking manic sleep deprivation in text form. I mean, what are we doing with the extra words there? What does that mean? It means nothing. Oh my God. But Natalia will use that as a sword the next morning to levy it against Kyle.

Once again, she's claiming or frames it as it was a dig at Jessica slash Ann. This is when, and the fans have been so at least our fans have been so sick of Natalia this season and Natalia is another one who I just don't know if she is going to look back on this and like the person that she is. I would pray that Kyle and Natalia are both repulsed by the way they've been behaving this season, but Nat seems to be maybe it's like

maybe we're it makes more sense coming out of like a sassy gay guy than it does coming out of Natalia's, but I feel like the way that kyle does it may be less insidious and worm-tonguey than the way that nat does it i'm not sure maybe it's recency bias

well i'll say this if we were to god listen if we were to take the advice of the barnacles in our facebook group they would uh evacuate the guests in some of the exterior and just torpedo this bitch. Um, so breakfast is a, this is a special, this is, uh, this is a, this is a special dish we're getting this morning. Oh,

yeah. I didn't even make a note of smoked salmon and scrambled eggs. Yeah. To me comes out and says, uh, the, the chef's special today is uh scrambled eggs and uh we got a package of smoked salmon that he'll be cutting open and putting on a plate now to be

fair to chef jack he's feeling out to be this entire to me this entire morning because he's like is she gonna fucking drop a dime on me he's's trying to feel her out. So a couple of things happen here. Natalia confronts Kyle about getting everyone to sit down and talk to, I guess, talk this out, right? And then Jessica confronts Toomey about the text that's perceived as bullying. And Toomey explains it's all just a misunderstanding and get this, Dale. Then Toomey goes to Kyle to alert him of the drama. Because why not be consistent, right? Yeah. It's like a, it's like a, just a, I'm at a loss for words.

I don't know what to describe this whole thing as. But there is a certain, I don't even want to call it irony when nat walks in and tells kyle that jess was upset about a text that she didn't see until i told her to look at it that she wasn't upset about until i told her to be upset about it and it all needs to stop i mean i just wanted to throw up my arugula salad. Quite frankly, I had a tahini dressing and it all started to taste a bit too much and

I think that's Natalia's fault. Well, I think it is, but I think there's a lot that have a part to play in this Dylan. Let's squash the torpedo the boat idea. Yeah, it would pollute the ocean too much poured out. Oh yeah, Kyle's underwear and die. We need to start launching sea rats with a cannon. Yeah, I think so.

So to me and Kyle talk about how the message was targeted. And thank God. I don't know how I'm rooting for these two, but I'm very happy that they figured out that Natalia was the one who was behind it because I think the reason why was because there was too much onus on Anne. I don't think it was fair that Anne was being thrown under the bus as much as she was, and I don't know if Natalia is aware of how disgusting that is to do to take an impressionable young inexperienced person who's on reality TV for the first time, who's not experienced at her job and to make her

the whipping sea rat of this entire interior. It's just like you have to recognize how fucking immoral that is. I agree. So we get a tight slip who gives a shit. The guests depart. We get whites to reds, and then we get to the tip meeting, but not before Chef Jack is fired, right? Yeah, captain.

Can I can we talk? I took a salt. Yeah, pack your shit kidding. I took a shot. Yeah. Pack your shit. Kidding. Nah. I don't care. Everyone gets to make a mistake once or twice. And another thing that is not being taken into consideration is people from Liverpool have a genetic aversion to the effects of alcohol.

Up to a certain point you know one shot is not going to do anything to jack no i don't think 50 shots is going to do much that's not us you know not my people well um so kyle and jessica chat she apologizes and kyle uses her apologies apology to convey that natalia is a shitster. Mystery solved. Nat is the puppet master pulling all the very dumb strings. Dumb because no one's getting rich or engaging, getting anything out of this bullshit. Yeah. So, yeah.

It's like a low stakes episode of succession. So, we get to the tip meeting. This is not my, I was about to talk about it and it's just not my responsibility. That's right, it's mine. The tip is 20K, decent tip. It's in euros, so that's 1,400 euros. If we're going to convert that to USD, that's 1,500 to CRAT.

Look at the American dollar. By the way, I'm going on vacation to Lapia next year too because of some of those dog bowl making factors. I wonder how she's doing yeah i don't think she's doing good i don't think so either yeah okay couldn't happen to a better person you know uh so the sea rats get ready and then we're gonna hang out at a restaurant where you can literally see uh the boat that you work on all day. So, yeah, that's like when you got off of North American insurance and went across the street to the Chili's to fuck people.

Well, it was actually a Friday's, but same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I could see where I worked all day. Right.

At least they're in Europe. True. So the nipples are the eyes of the breasts. Thank you, Natalia. What the fuck? What is that? breasts. Thank you, Natalia. What the fuck? What is that?

I just like dumb. What is that? Luca and her are not doing too hot and that'll bubble up a little bit later. First, Kyle asks the table of questions so that he can say what he wants to say. Right. It's a really, really great tactic where you go, what's the worst time? What's the worst charter that anyone's had? I'll go first or I'll go during the first person talking. Yeah.

But this is a dinner that finally we get a little Game of Thrones here with some actual motives. Okay. At dinner, Nat starts beginning to begin. She's losing the war on two fronts. First, Luke is starting to flirt with Anne and then Kyle's attempting to consolidate his power as allies with Anne and Toomey.

Meanwhile, Natalia's texting that boyfriend of hers the entire time and she calls AJ. She did this in private. She calls him and she says her coworkers are just fake people. And she really bears her soul. And then she hears this.

Sorry, I just came. What were you saying? That one had a splinter, but I still got there. Fucking gross, that guy. I would think I've hated someone I've never met more. Oh, yeah. I've hated people I haven't met. Yeah, you're right.

Oh, and this is when Amanda... I never met Goebbels. I don't like that guy at all. Oh, really? Yeah. Amanda, the charter guest, calls Jessica and says, hey, let's meet up. Yeah.

I like how the sea rats, they always exchange numbers normally. Who did they call? Jess? They called Ann. Oh, wow. Yeah. Look at you, Ann. Didn't think Ann was going to be the one to get the number.

I know. That's shocking. So the charter guests show up, and Luca begins being cold to Natalia, not just because of the baggage, but because he's now set his sights on and, and also there are a ton of insanely hot women who have just arrived at the, the bar that they're at as well. Luca is like any good bosun. He's just a skipping rock i mean he just he just bounces from lily pad to lily pad to lily pad i mean i don't know what his uh i don't want to speak well i don't know how him and uh ann ended

up in the bathroom but they did and i don't know if there was a kiss exchange there uh but to me listens in on this one but definitely it's starting to heat up between the bathroom, but they did. And I don't know if there was a kiss exchange there, but Toomey listens in on this one. But definitely, it's starting to heat up between the two of them. That's going to get really interesting. Yep. Then, the Frenchman... Makes out with Lenny. He makes out with Lenny.

And Laura says, hold my beer. Tomb Raider hooks up with every single charter guest and the crazy thing is that i don't think it hit a might as well hook up with all of them until much past the five mark i think she was just actually hooking up with like six, seven of them. And she was like, I might as well just round out the entire fucking. Why not finish it off? Finish the board. My goodness.

Then we head back to the boat and any of the power consolidation. Kyle had achieved at dinner is completely lost. I think this is in this cell begins when the Frenchman said he wanted to be part of the LGBT dash S community, right, which is I could see how that would be extremely insulting for somebody who is in the LGBTQ community, but the the point he was trying to get across was a very French one. We're all the same except for algerians they are disgusting but kyle is so un-fucking-believably aggressive and negative straight out of the gate like he's just shitting on him saying that she's too old for you what is she gonna do with you hey by the way

dream a little bit kyle huh don't you remember last season when you were with that way better looking, way more wealthier guy and you thought you had a shot? Hey, let us all dream, will you? Right, exactly. You know, as a little boy, I hung up posters of Britney Spears. What is Kyle going to come in and rip them down and say, never going to happen? I mean, it's just crazy. You know what I mean? But that is when Kyle and Natalia start to rear up like two dramatic, dramatic cobras. And that's when we get hit with our TBC card, a TBC card that I think is actually warranted this episode, dare I say, earned. We've heard rumors of Kyle getting shit canned this entire season. Maybe something pops off next episode where which leads to one of their demise and for me fingers crossed.

Let's get that over the line. Jumping the iTunes range of usually five stars kind word. Join us at patreon.com session of the podcast network. Donate a little and if you can a little more YouTube, Instagram tickies, all that stuff i'm dylan saying goodbye pat say goodbye No