Another Below Deck Podcast - The Pilot... Kind Of | Below Deck S1 E1 (From the Vault)

Episode Date: June 2, 2023

Pat and Dylan are back to break down the pilot of Below Deck... kind of. We talk porcupines, grenades, trains, service, the blind, dogs, rocket science, Lee, curry and even more from Bravo's Below Deck.Uncensored content and exclusive shows including Vanderpump Rules at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkInstagram at - https://www.instagram.com/anotherbelowdeckpodcast_/?hl=enFacebook Group at - https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcast/This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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Yeah. Hi, Porcupine. All right, you ready? Yeah, how are we going to do this? That's a good question. I think we should just start out by saying welcome aboard. Okay. A brand new voyage of another below deck podcast from the vault. Now that is a diet mountain to in case anybody was wondering. Yeah. You don't want to drink to celebrate? Getting to a thousand, you do.

No, no, God no. Listen, I have a lot of confidence in our audience. I'll not pat them on the butt for a C plus but to everybody who is subscribing, thank you very much. It does put me at ease. Some of you have said that you'd prefer me grumpy. So, you know, it's been anyways, go over to bad TV, subscribe badt.v. Hey, do you have self-care resolutions in 2023? Yes, I do.

Yeah, of course you do. You're not a loser. Right. Right. You know how you can be better this year? Tell me Dylan. Well, I think you know, let me put it to you this way. In 2023, do you want to be flaky or flake free? No, just tell me if you want to be flaky or flake free. I want to be flake free. Um, and that is why I Pat uses way. Mm hmm. Use it all the time. And by all the time, what do you mean? Because I've heard conflicting things about shampooing protocol.

Not with way. You use it as much as you want. Or as little as you want. Exactly. It's like a, kind of like a Dungeons and Dragons kind of like a liquor where if you stumbled upon it, you'd be like, oh wow, this is super valuable. I can bathe with this. Well, I'll tell you what, every time I use it,

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and she was talking about nothing? Yeah. It was like, get James's teenage girlfriend off the dayus. My God, but we're not here to talk about that. If you wanna hear us talk about that go to patreon.com session of the podcast network. We are here to talk about talk about that, go to patreon.com, session of the podcast network. We are here to talk about below deck, the very first episode of the very first season

of below deck. Now, what's interesting about this, Dylan, I don't know if you ever, I kind of have fun with air dates, like when did things actually air for first time? Oh, yeah, yeah. It aired in June of 2013. That is. Exactly 10 years ago.

12 years after 9-11. Yeah. In a few months. Yeah. You know there's only one angle of the plane heading the Pentagon. It's from a little toll booth in the front parking lot. Conspiracy theory, so we don't need to get into that.

No, no, no, no, no, no, and that's ridiculous. But no, so are we unearthing a time capsule? Like what's happened over the last decade or? No, no, I think it's fun that we are picking up the reins to recap this show, which a lot of people hadn't viewed since June 2013. We're doing exactly 10 years later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Dylan, I have to tie.

All right, so first let's set this up. So we are going to, I think there's 10 episodes, real short seasons, the first couple seasons. They didn't know what they had. They did not know, but they should have known, because we're going to recap the first episode, which is kind of odd, because I'll get into it when we start talking about it. It's clearly the pilot. Yeah. Or not even the pilot like a demo.

Okay, so in the biz, they call it a presentation. So when you're trying to sell the show, you're gonna go, all right, these are the cast members and that's exactly what they did. They did basically what I think BoloDec should have kept doing, which is I wanna get to know these sea rats a little bit more about them before, we're two minutes into an episode, you're shaking hands with the captain, before you know it,

guests are gonna be aboard in four hours. And then it just starts a rolling. This was a different episode, but a very, very fun episode. Yeah, it's not a novel. We need not a glacial introduction into the hearts and minds of these characters. We just need to know how much of a drunk they are

as quickly as possible. And we have at least a drunk here. I like cat a true seerat. I don't wanna get ahead of myself. Oh my goodness. So peeps, little barnacles. We are gonna be recapping the entire season. Listen up, peeps. So share the show. It's gonna be sopping the entire season of Seas and Wands. Listen up Peeps.

So share the show. It's gonna be so fun. And okay, so we're only doing episode one, which was like a 22 minute episode or something. Dylan has not watched episode two. I have watched episode two. We couldn't put these two episodes together. We have to have a clear start,

and then we will recap episode two because there's a character on there named Johnny Eyelash. It is one of the most entertaining pieces episodes of television. They had gold right out of the gate. There's cocaine on the boat, leespist. A boat might need to be turned around to drop these idiots back off. It's amazing television. I can't wait for Dylan and I to recap it. But that's next week. This is episode one We're gonna do a deep dive on the sea rats of this vessel. Yeah, it's really just a deep dive on the sea rats at this vessel. It's more of like a table of contents tonight Also called a show Bible Dylan. So I has it take to even give it pots. Yeah

Mm-hmm. I found it entertaining. I think I watched this episode when it aired back then. I had my cousin, Kristi, living with me for like two weeks, and then I remember us watching both of the episodes together. You know, I don't remember what I was doing in 2013. Just a fog. Isn't it fascinating when you cannot,

those people that have that, I don't know, it's not a power, but it is kind of a fog. Isn't it fascinating when you cannot, those people that have that, I don't know, it's not a power, but it is kind of a power. You can go, uh, when did someone so die and they'll go close their eyes and they'll go June 2nd, 3 p.m. The sky was great. And I think you're like, holy shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool and all, but it's usually, you know, exists alongside some kind of

social deficiency, which you know, I'd rather just kind of get along in the world and not be some kind of freak me as well, you know Mm-hmm. It's a special power, but it's almost like you know, they say when someone's blind, their smell is better Yeah, yeah, I don't want that superpower. No, I smell fine. You know what would be some loser who can't even see. Totally kidding. Blind people are so fucking courageous. When I see a blind person, it's like the only thing that makes me more sad is when I see

just a horrendously overweight person. But, you know, it's like, it's like what kind of thing is that? Like, they're out and we'll get into the show. But it's like, what kind of thing is that? Like, they're out there doing it. Like, you don't need to feel bad. I mean, that person is out there doing it. They have the stick. And sure. Sometimes a dog. like you don't need to feel bad. I mean, that person is out there doing it.

They have the stick and sure. Sometimes a dog. Sometimes a dog. I'm sorry. You wanna get into something? But you know what I mean. Of course, yeah, yeah. Hey, you know, I never met a blind person I didn't like.

Let me just say that. Yeah One of my favorite characters of all time is the blind pianist from the producers From Kirby enthusiasm. I saw that at the Oh Not the play the producers. No, no season three, three, I think, with swimmer and stiller in the beginning. Stiller does not actually do the play because Larry stabs him in the eye, I think, with a chicken skewer in order of a party. Larry didn't know where to put it.

But the blind man and later seasons, I think, is reintroduced. He's dating a woman and she tells him that she is a supermodel and she is not. Anyways, you want to talk about blood skin in the show? Are we sure this is recording? I like our new setup here, but I get a little constricated. Hey Pat, who knows? Okay. Yeah.

All right. Okay. So you'd think, Dylan, that we all know how sea rats got on this show, right? And dad was either an alcoholic or he died tragically while drunk. It's only those two things. Right. But it's fun to get a deep dive and that's what we are going to recap in episode one of season one of Below Deck.

Yeah. And the intro is very 2013. The voiceovers are like, the mega yacht is the ultimate floating playground for the rich and famous. And it's like, this is, it's a demo. It's for the suits. It's, can I tell you, my pilot for my show

that never went to a wars was so similar to this watching this it was absurd how they set the world up and then they show the players there's lots of hero shots yeah yeah and I've seen your pilot a little piece of it yeah and it is similar it's like um Hollywood Boulevard is full of shit and piss and the guy next door is a man named Lazar and he wields him a shetty from time to time. It's kind of like that. And then you were like I'm Pat. I'm the nice guy. I'm a sexy little bitch with cute feet. All right it's a CJ who I believe is the boasting or that you know this is an odd thing. The the titling back then, the rank and order, a little bit different.

We had first mates. We don't have that anymore. That's a vestage of the past. It is. It was redundant, I think. I also want to say they did something interesting with season one, which is the engineers who are generally hidden faceless people working on the boat. They're prominently featured. In fact, Eddie is an engineer. Right, right. He's going to be replacing, which we find, excuse me, in episode two, a older, less good-looking, less charismatic character.

But for the purposes of the boat running properly, he's still on the boat till Eddie kicks in the fuck off to be Eddie. Right, right. What a transformation this young man is going to. Oh my god. And he got kicked off the show because he didn't do anything about a black supporter that's saying that somebody used the N word to her directly. I don't know if that is exactly why he was given his walking papers from Bravo, but he

is not welcome back. and he's pissed. Yep. So we start right out of the gate with a Lee meeting. There is no introduction of Lee at all in this demo, which is something that I thought that you would find certain Glee in. I did. It's a younger Lee.

It's, by the way, so let's just point out there are are. Same Lee though. Oh, it was wonderful. It was wonderful to see the just the beginning of Lee. Yeah. He doesn't drop his first one liner until the tail end of episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like he was, it was more of, he was less surefooted back then, you know. He wasn't a star yet. So he was just angry, but he didn't have the isms quite yet. Well, no, he didn't. And also he still has rules. He had rules back then.

Yeah, we begin the show with the meeting as he pointed out, we, as we've seen many times on these vessels He'd always begin these meetings after knowing these idiots for five minutes. He'd He'd always let him know. He has a six sets of plane tickets in his back pocket. Yeah, yeah, yeah Not back in 2013. He different rules. Don't frat and ice with the guests and don't go over department heads Which is odd because I feel like in 2013 The likelihood of having plane tickets in your back pocket was more likely or more Sensical than it is nowadays

What with the airlines telling you that the flight is overbooked and that you have 30 minutes to get to the airport or you'll be dead overbooked and that you have 30 minutes to get to the airport or you'll be dead. You know, that's kind of how it works now, but back then you could have, you know, the boarding passes, you used to get printed on that thick parchment. Very thick paper. Yeah. It's almost like you needed to be that thick to just keep an eye on it. Right, right, right. You could lose something with that.

But as you pointed out, definitely in 2023, plane tickets could be kept on your iPhone. Yeah. Yeah. So, oh, I should also mention, don't embarrass yourself, or the boat had also not been inducted into Lee's Lexi. No, no, no, that was a manic caroac, a kind of brainstorming session

between him and the old ball and chain one night, and they stumbled upon that, and it was used every season afterward. So do you want to start with Sam? Oh sure. So we'll, I guess we'll start to get our get to know the sea rats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do want to say it's fascinating.

This way it's going to be so fun recapping this. You see them already. The show has not changed that much. Yeah. Very early on, I've only seen episode two, you already see the night going out. What is that shirt? What's my shirt I'm wearing? Yeah. Oh, it has all my, our family's names on it, including the dogs. Oh, it's very cute. I like that shirt. I gave everyone a Christmas. That's a good looking shirt. Thanks, dude. You want to know a meaningful gift, people. A meaningful gift for all

your family members, which doesn't, it's not a lot of calories are burned. Go to one of those online t-shirt building, creating companies. Pick out the sizes, create a design about how much you love your fucking family. I mean, and you hand them out on Christmas boarding. You'll be the most beloved family member of everyone. Yeah, a little bit cheap, but you can also do the thing where you go to like the website of one of the cast members of Love After Lockup and get like custom shoes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shupanora, he was. What a loser. You know what, Dylan?

There are shows we've recought. I miss Love is blind. Iought, recought, so. So Miss Love is blind. I mean, love after a lot of time. Dude, I hated it. I, those people were so, made me so sad and reminded me of broken family members that I lived with. Is that my dad?

Maybe. Oh my God. I don't know. I don't know. We might watch Love During Lockup because that's more entertaining and less cooked But I hate that show when I hate the bachelor everything else. I've loved recapping Anyway, I do you want to get to I guess our first C rat

Laura's gonna need seven if a hundred dollars get this price that off my neck God damn it, Lindsay. God damn it. Lindsay, how'd you pack up the car so fast? Well, Blaine, I have a car, and I have a God damn dog. They help me bring all the shit out. Well, the fuck that happened to dog doesn't have hands. Blaine, I'm clearly on heroin still.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's so much drug use in that show. So gross. Ugh. Speaking of drug use and that show. So gross. Ugh. Speaking of drug use and addiction, let's get to Sam. OK. Now, Sam is my favorite because she is a rocket scientist. Now, one would beg the question, what

is somebody with a mastery of differential equations doing on this boat? But I would say you don't ask dumb questions like that. This makes perfect sense. She's living, she's in a world just completely swallowed up by patriarchal thinking. There is no room for advancements in the sciences from women. So she's just getting, you know, just face pushed left and right. She thinks, I want to go see the world. Oh, that's why she left. I thought it was just the uh... the mundane just uh... boring uh... what's the word uh... redundant life of living in an

office she donna nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana the big answers to quantum cosmology and people are like, shut up Sam. That's why she left. So she left engineering rockets that potentially probe the surface of Mars to instead clean piss off rich people's toilets. Yeah, exactly. And she gets disillusioned throughout the season because she thought that she was coming to this job to just swim. But it turns out that in fact, she does have to wipe the piss and the shit off the toilet every once in a while, and she is not fucking happy about it. Now, she's a drunk too.

Yeah, she's a drinker, but yeah, she, this little one, she does not like authority, and she doesn't like being told what to do. You know what she does like? What? CJ. Mm-hmm. That's right.

She loves CJ. Now, he is the second engineer. Now, he is the second mate. Okay. He is a Maghiver. He can fix anything. He's also a drunk. Now, the thing about him is that while he says that he's a mageiver, he tells people that

he delivers the line, I am really handy with wardrobe malfunctions, which is a very, very creepy kind of Harvey Weinsteiny kind of Daniel Sturny kind of thing to say. You know, it's something like an old creepy fucking white guy with a little pud would say to women. You know what I mean? I do want to correct myself, Dylan. I believe you are correct. He is a second engineer.

Oh, okay. So he really doesn't do much. And he's pretty goofy looking. So his name might in fact be called goofy. I'm not sure. I love that. I love that. He really doesn't do much. And he's pretty goofy looking. So his name might in fact be called goofy. I'm not sure. I love that. I love that.

Just to remind myself, these people are okay. So here we, He's a life of the party. There may be a sea rat bang triangle here. So CJ wants to bang Sam. Sam and Kat want to bang CJ. And if Sam's down to hook up with Kat, I believe we have what's called a train. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah, it's a big bang triangle. Yeah, it's kind of like a Bermuda triangle and that it's very dangerous and you don't know what's going on when you're in the middle of it.

Right. And somehow you can almost drown or definitely drown. Did you know that that Malaysian flight had a bunch of chips that got scanned on that weren't actually scanned? You ever been in a pinch before your next paycheck? Oh yeah, man. All the time. Call that my entire 20s.

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Dave.com slash bachelor. Sign up for an extra cash account and get up to $500 instantly. For terms and conditions, go to david calm slash legal instant transfer fees apply banking services provided by evolved bank and trust member f t i c thanks dav is that right yeah oh jesus so you think that's why the that why that plane went down you remember the first scene in dark night rises yes i think something like that probably one of us was stay with the records brother yeah yeah yeah it's the fire

still burn it and before you know it little rock fellow junior owns all the patents I mean my god it's just crazy I shouldn't work wow but yeah I'm not getting on a plane with secret chips you never know you got to stand outside of the car go and go what's that what's that but? You never know. You got to stand outside of the car, go and go, what's that, what's that, but they'll never let you do that. Unless you ask nicely. Now, a train is when one person is destroyed by many, many people. I think you have to have at least six people

in order for it to be called a train. The four to six is the low end of a train worthy train. Imagine if someone like, you know, because you have all these sex titles, right? Imagine if someone like took an umbridge with something being called the gang bang. He's like, you know, like there's like three naked guys being, you know,

one girl or one guy or some. Yeah. And in a, the director's like, now this is not a gang bang. Gang bang involves at least eight people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah, that's an art tour with some kind of integrity.

And I appreciate that in filmmaking, any kind of filmmaking. Hey, can I give CJ gives the quite a, quite a quote about C-Rat like that? That guy went on to be the executive producer of succession actually. Is that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love his work. Yeah. Do you see the finale? I have, you know what? I did kind of. I was, is this is when, I'm gonna give away a spoiler. Someone passes away and they keep cutting to everybody's reactions.

Oh, no, that was like the fourth episode. Oh, it was okay. All right, let's move on. Oh, it's a quote of about Seerat life. It was quite a quote by CJ. He says, and this rings true with C-Rats. It's almost like it should be printed on a C-Rat manual. He says, I don't have a care in the world.

I just don't care. That's in a C-Rat manual. You live by that. What is it? Crito? Is that a credo? How about a mission statement? Yeah? I'll put a mission statement. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mission statement. Mission statement. I don't have a care in the world and I just don't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Now, someone would say that that is redundant, but it's important to have those two stances. It's true.

You don't have a care in the world. You're easy going, right? I just don't care is more of a nihilistic indifference and those two things do spin at once in the minds and hearts of sea rats. That's why they're such disgusting people. All right. So let's get to Alex. Yeah. Hi, parking. Yeah, he is the first officer. He is not a yacht. He's disgusted by these eras because he is a night of the

round table. Uh, parking. And also his name is misspelled in every single chiron. Yeah. Or his parents are horrible people. Horrible people. You know, they're good luck at the DMV asshole.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you imagine telling a DMV employee how your name is spelled? And they just look up like this. They are so judgy over there. And it like yeah, it's like okay. I'm sorry You know people tell you all the time. Oh somebody's going through it harder than you Tell the people at the DMV that what the fuck are they doing? They're just doing clerical work and they're wetting their fingertips every once in a while.

They're not fucking doing triage, cool it, have a better attitude. I agree. Have not a care. You know what I mean? 100% I agree with you, Matt. Pretty mean in there. Yeah, so this guy is loathed by every single person aboard this vessel, including Lee. Yes, he was not welcome back for season two.

I don't think that's any secrets. Yeah, and it's one of these things where it's like, you, this is a caricature, or the leader, you know what I mean? People who like, and there are lots of different archetypes, lots of different caricatures, but you see these people out in the wild and you're like, is this not exhausting to be like pretending to be something at every minute of every day? Now we have not just one of those people on this vessel, we have three.

Okay, who's the second? Lee? Okay. In Adrian. Okay. In Type A company employee. Okay, who's the second? Lee? Okay. And Adrian. Okay. Type a company employee. Okay. By the book. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Adrian is our next C rat. And people are our fans have been warning us about the perils and the evils of Adrian. She is a hated character. I think we should talk to her. I so I want the audience to know here's Bravo doesn't tell us what to do but they fucking

complain a lot if we start having guests on that they aren't get to be on the call. Here's the thing all these people are they don't have any they're not tethered to any Bravo tendrils right right we can fucking reach out to them and if they aren't trying to run away from this show Yeah, yeah, yeah, well probably we will have them on I have already reached out to episodes two Johnny eyelash to see if he will be a guest on this show a beautiful beautiful If that that episode did not destroy his career it it had to have at least damaged it Yeah, yeah, we'll find out. But quick note on Bravo, I think we're going to do one more season

kind of respecting the rules of public relations. Then we'll go rogue. And rogue forever. Yes. They can go fuck themselves. We do like those screeners though, Dylan. Yeah, the screeners are nice. I wonder if we could fuck them over and still get those screeners. Yeah. When we had Rachel on Chef Rachel

and she torched the network, they took away our privileges for a few minutes. Yeah, I think we could probably go on Fiverr and find some kind of industrious Malaysian kid or Eastern European kid to probably hack into the... Oh, well, let's go that route then. Yeah, I yeah i i think that's a good idea so let's talk about a dran she's um oh i should point out her dad is not dead uh... he's in sales

um her dad he was a traveling a vacuum salesman and he uh... it made it tough to plant roots you know and so that's why she's here and that's why she is not good at interpersonal relationships because she didn't have any friends growing up. Because she was that, that kid that just like picked her boogers a lot and but got really good grades. And she has been very type A for her entire life. Because her dad was vacuum salesman, everything has to be clean. And he said to his daughter, I cannot sell to my fullest potential if our temple is not clean.

Mm. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. And that turned her into a nut job. Yeah. Yeah. She's here. Right.

Clearly. All right, so let's get to Eddie. Oh, I was gonna say, so the show jumps around a bit. We can go to Eddie, but I can see how they structure this pilot because then they spend the TV pilot examines the types of peep charter guests that they get on here for a minute. Oh, yeah, yeah. We can bounce back to that.

They really do one guy over and over and over again. Is that Eddie eyelash? I don't know, but they did show a pretty funny example of guests. Again, is that Eddie eyelash? I don't know, but they did show a pretty funny example of guests having five sea rats pushing charter guests in wheelchairs on cobblestone streets of the beautiful Caribbean town. Oh, cool, cool.

Yeah, and it was like, wow, that's pretty crazy. Oh, wow, cool, cool. Is it beautiful because Colonialists came in and laid a bunch of cobblestone? Is that why it's beautiful, Patrick? Oh, no, it's just the town looked beautiful. Oh, whoever directed that, no, it's just the town looked beautiful. Oh, it's just thing. Very, very interesting.

Okay, well, so Eddie is next. And by the way, as we pointed out, at the top of our podcast, Eddie now a disgruntled former employee of Bravo joined by Captain Lee. Andy just to choose up these people, when he doesn't have a taste for him anymore and he just spits him out. Spits him right out. I was leaving to say, I didn't even know I was getting fired.

Now, Eddie is one of these original families of America kind of people or so his father says when he's drinking. And it's like, dude, if you were like really wanted, I mean, perhaps you, they did come over on the Mayflower, but I don't know if you'd be a sea rat with that kind of familial prestige. And I was suspect about this myself, Dylan, because Eddie apparently got his hands on a beta version of Ancestry.com back in 2013. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because as he pointed out, he's pretty confident that his family came over on the Mayflower, became oil barons. Now he's a former disgruntled employee of Bravo working on a tugboat

in Cleveland. Right, right, right. Oh, wow, the mighty have fallen. Yeah, yeah, those are those kinds of people that, you know, you're, and I'm not saying this is Eddie, but, you know, kind of offhandedly, you know, you're, you're, you're in the Ozarks, you're on a porch. You've been bitten by mosquitoes to smithereens and you're on your fifth bush light and you hear somebody say something about Guatemalans and then they say that they were here before anybody and you're like, I don't know that you were though. But who knows? All right, so let's get to Dave, he's a Marine. He's also, thank you for your service.

He also, also thank you for your service. Did gay porn. Oh yeah, well, let's explain how he got here. Dave was a marine, did five years tragically through accidentally through a grenade into a rest home. Big mistake. Big mistake. Well, you know, when, when you can't sleep at night because of the horrors of the action, you are waking ego consciousness turns into something that is completely unreliable. You could be in the shit, but you're actually not, you're on more park. And you

just threw a grenade into the window of a woman named Valerie. And her husband died three years ago, and her kids are pieces of shit. So she's living out her day. Oh, fuck, she just blew up. And that's why I had moved to Los Angeles to be an actor, but then proceeded to do porn. And that's why he's here. Right. Yeah, totally. So next up is Ben. Chef Ben is a God.

I hesitate to even say the words Mount Rushmore because, you know, it's really a Mount Rushmore of one on this show. It's really just KHS, but Ben is a beloved character in this show's anals. Oh, he's still around. He's still doing all that galley talk and all that bullshit that they won't let us be on right right right by the way uh... sorry sidebar uh... dill and i are trying to put ourselves out there to host

a what do you call those things at bravo con where we a panel yeah i'm trying to get us on a panel at bravo connets in vegas this year in october yeah that's a three hour drive for Dylan and I It's not gonna cost Bravo anything. Yeah, and who knows these sea rats in and out better than Dylan and I yeah And they're gonna go oh actually we got Chrissy Teigen to host the panel and we'll be like fucking Chrissy Teigen is I mean she's mean We're not mean

Hey, Dylan I have to ask you a question. I think we've only watched one season of Ben in his artistry, the kitchen. How do you feel about him? I feel like he's been cooking like he exists in 2013 for the last 10 years. Spago kind of fair. Exists in 2013 for the last 10 years Spago kind of fair and episode and that's fine. Spago's great in episode two He kind of explains his process and what he delivers to these guests at this level Yeah, and it's kind of in a way where he says he creates something that's only exists once right and the last time

They they consume it and then it disappears and it's like it never happened, but you have the memory and you are also so special in that special occasion, because that was a one time thing. Right. And as I was hearing Sam, I'm like, that's kind of like getting a prostitute in Vegas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. One time thing. Right, right, right. Yeah, just kind of a spectral experience. Yeah, I was, I thought it was pretty stupid when he was saying it. Well, I think Ben has his roots in French cooking but has a lust for travel and an inquisitiveness

that just naturally led him into wet markets, dry markets, people's homes. And because of that rich life, he can now make curry. Well, he does give his credentials, Dylan. He worked in a Michelin star restaurant, obviously, on land. Yeah. And then he worked on the largest yacht in the entire world. And I thought probably owned by one of those goddamn oligarchs. You working for the Ruskies. You son of a bitch. How do you sleep at night? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But he says he almost, he's almost ready for land. Okay. So he's already setting up his eggs and off as a sea rat. Well, that will not take.

He'll be here for quite some time. Let's get to Kat. She is a... She's a stew, and a sea rat. She cleans, piss, and she had off toilets. But she gave herself a promotion here in this first demo, this pitch deck. She is not a stew,

made or janitor. She is the manager of the interior. Yeah, very smart from cat. Yes, yes, yes, yes. When she's not drunk or hung over, she's actually pretty clever. The only issue is that that cleverness strikes at about 15 minutes a day, probably. You know what's interesting is when she kind of explains how she became a sea rat, she kind of just gives the similar examples. She was from a boring town in Rhode Island, and then she said, all the bars, you know, they're boring. A lot of references to the bar is being boring,

and I think she's a bar hack. Yeah, yeah. You know, you're from the Northeast. Yep. But I feel like Rhode Islanders and Maynars are even like, what are those people? They don't come into contact, or contact, what contact, you know that movie with,

who was in that Jody Foster, Helen Hunt, who was it? Yeah, Jody Foster. Was it Jody Foster? Matthew McConaughey. Matthew McConaughey. Was in contact? Yeah, he was love interest. Railer.

All right, all right, all right. But you know what I mean? Like what were Maynors like? Did you come into contact with Boris? There's not a lot of Maynors. I think we check population. That's one of the least populated states. Yeah.

And they all live near the water. And it's a beautiful place. It's where all the mass holes go to vacation in the summer. Oh, really, really. I hear they're very grumpy people. They can be. Yeah.

Isn't Stephen King from Maine? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I heard he's a grump. Yeah, weirdo too. Do you know he treats riding like a nine to five job? He wakes up religiously, nine a.m. Rites for eight hours. If something comes out, it comes out.

If it doesn't, he gets in his car, heads down to Fenway Park and catches a Red Sox game. And if you're going to be an obelisk, that's how you need to treat your writing. You know, this, you, you can't write only when the muse is strike. You have to sit down and see what happens. Mm-hmm. Treat it like a job. Yep.

He has a great book on writing, but I can't get it out of my head that he wrote it and in it, um, you know, to come full circle. They run a train on a 14 year old girl. Is that right? Yeah. Oh Jesus Christ. I didn't see part two. My family, we all watched part one on Thanksgiving.

Yeah. I wasn't a fan of it. I like the original from 1990, starring a bunch of sea listers from television shows. Yeah, who was it? I forget who the little boy was in it, but he was scary. No, but who was the clown? Hmm. I forget who the actor? Yeah, it, but he was scary. No, but who was the clown?

I forget who the actor? Yeah, he's so famous. Oh, from 1990? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think so. No, no, the original it. He was in what's that movie, what's that play? Little Shop of Horrors, he was in that.

Oh, really? Do you want me to look at that? He was in Congo, he was in Congo. He was the bad guy in Congo. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beep beep richie. Come on guys. Help us out. Yellow in your car. Yeah, let right now. Pennywise. That's the name of the clown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. I know it's going to come up with the actor from the latest movie. All right, actor original. Tim Curry. Tim Curry. Oh my God.

Right, right. Wow, that was scary. The first scene, it was a two night special back in 1990. And the first night was all the kids. And then the second night, they cut to them as adults. Yeah, yeah. John Ritter, some guy from the show Ben. John Ritter's dead.

He is, I got to meet him on the set of Alimic Bill. Yeah. Real prick, huh? No, nice guy. He wanted to fuck Khalis fuck heart. All right. So Kat is a drunk. She turns into her words, a trailer,

park, demonic refugee, when she does drink, but she cannot stop herself. We get a little scene where Ben and Sam fight over, Sam is autistic or something. She does this weird thing where she keeps mocking Ben for his plating, but it's not done with any intent that makes any sense. It's just like bizarre. I hate to say this. I hate to pull back the curtain fourth wall, whatever, but that to me struck me as this is a producing for the real of like, hey, we got gotta show that you guys,

you know, bump ass. Oh, yeah, they got a couple of those in there. I don't think they're cooked though. I think they just picked them out. It's possible. We then get another teaser for the entire season. This is, you know, it gives me a tremendous amount of hope, dare I say, because back then in 2013,

the ramifications for poor public behavior were not as at the forefront as they are now. So now you have people not on their best behavior, definitely not, but back then you had debauchery, you know. Case in point, this first charter in episode two, get ready guys. These, oh my God, these charter guests had no clue, I think where this was going,

because they party like the cameras weren't there. Right. And it's, you know what, I'll say this, and I forgive me for talking too much about episode two, but I wanna get you guys excited. The writers of the film Triangle of Sadness. Yeah. Clearly watched episode two of season one of low deck and base the film.

On Johnny eyelash and his friends on this boat. Well, you know how I love that movie. I can't wait. Jimmy. Oh, oh, sorry. Oh, I was going to say, I think that we're pretty much at. Oh yeah, I was going to say goodbye. Oh yeah, yeah, I was, guys, get excited, share the show, get ready, we're going to drop one of these a week, we're obviously we're doing yachting as well. Yeah. And so it's, we're going to have two shows a week for you. Yeah, get ready to get wet.

It's going to be tons of below deck. iTunes ratings and reviews, those speaking of wet, those are drawing up quite a bit. If you wouldn't mind going over there, leave five stars kind words, but listen, anything helps subscribe to the YouTube channel, join in some Patreon, follow us on Instagram. We love you guys very much.

I'm Dylan, say goodbye, Pat. Say goodbye. Later, dudes! Hey, Diane, holiday shopping? Oh, done. Everyone's getting the new iPhone 15 from Team Mobile, and Team Mobile's covering the cost. Plus, I got four lines for 25 bucks a line per month. I gotta get to Team Mobile.

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