Another Below Deck Podcast - The Power of Grindr | Below Deck S11 E12

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

Pat and Dylan are back to break down turncoats, the effectiveness of Grindr, duck bacon, secrets, crab and more from Bravo's Below Deck.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcast

Barbie has this way of where she's on the television show and she's talking smack about the charter guests because they're being absolutely horrible She did it with Jill Zarin. She did it with Carmen then come to find out on Barbie's Instagram. She's hanging out with Carmen Barbie, what is it? Are they horrible people? Are they not horrible people? I guess we're all complicated bar Barbie You can't be a fucking turncoat. Okay, nobody likes a fucking turncoat Benedict Cumberbatch. Hi, hello, welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one Patrick Hickey permission to come aboard. Granted. Man, what to talk about, you know, what do you mean? We've got a lot going on

on this network. Yeah. Oh, I wanted to say really quickly to anybody who came out to the shows this weekend, thank you so much for coming. Hope you didn't come to the Friday show. That was a little tough. Pfft. But if you did, there were no meet and greets and I wanted to leave immediately.

So if you came and I didn't see you, I apologize. Del. I believe it's called eating a dick in the business. Now this is a little a little sagooey here. So we launch on the bad TV feed finally after us talking about it and plugging it for the better part of a month. We will be launching our first episode of another podcast show. That's where Dylan and I just Gavin and goof about whatever's top of mind and Occasionally we do our debut episode interviewing an actual real-life porn star occasionally. We do that

And so that drops this week and also part of that episode might be Dylan playing some clips No, no, no, no, but we'll talk about the whole night And it you know, it wasn't that bad, but I listened to it twice. I don't think it was bad. I think you're being hard on yourself. So go to patreon.com slash another podcast network for lots of fun stuff. iTunes ratings and reviews, five stars, kind words. We are here to break down. You huffed. Oh yeah, I was also going to mention we are covering Vanderpump rules on that bad TV feed. A lot of you have already moved over the numbers are up incredibly over there Yeah

So just the last few of you know You can listen to the below deck podcast that we're doing on the another below deck podcast feed over on bad TV And you will also get our Vanderpump rules recap coverage and also that additional show called another podcast show So we're here to break down the bugs are coming out. Yeah. Yeah They are awful. You know, we want to hear to me the other day people say you can't kill mosquitoes Oh, they're the curb pop who cares kill them all We could do with more people right? We got plenty of land I mean Bill Gates lies to you when he says we have a population problem. Yeah. Yeah, I know have you ever flown over the United States?

Yeah, you can look down. There's no one anyway I'll move there right now. I don't give a shit I'm sitting in my car minding my own damn business the other day driving on Mulholland Drive my windows open. It's sunny out I'm not having the best of days This little bug flies on my wrist and I'm like, what the hell are you and I go to pick him up It was a brown bee. He stung my effing hand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like you son of a bitch I didn't go in near a beehive I didn't go near a beehive. I didn't go where you were buzzing around

near a lake or a pond or wherever you guys congregate. I was in my car and they stung me and the thing hurt for an effing day. Yeah, I mean that's a bad day, huh? Yeah. You know, there's a couple of different ways, you know, cause I've gone through the same experience. The last time I was driving with my hand out the window, like I was fucking Matthew McConaughey

or something like that. I don't do that anymore because the last time I did that, I was in Burbank and my hand just started feeling really, really poorly. Sering Payne, I looked down and this poor little bee had kamikaze'd himself for no fucking reason. There's no reason. And it was just pure anarchy the other time, and I've been stung by bees countless times, but you know, and speaking of, I didn't go towards your hive or anything like that. My cousins and I in Virginia were throwing rocks at a yellow jacket nest and I got fucked up.

Yeah. Karma's a bitch. Karma's a bitch. So below deck, what an episode we had. We say goodbye to Anthony. We say goodbye to Carmen. One of the in terms of the legacy of royalty,

I would say one of the worst queens we've ever had. Yeah, you know, I do want to say Bravo has a kind of a habit of making guests to be absolutely horrible in their first night and then the second night they kind of chill out a little bit Yeah, so I start an episode thinking about how I'm gonna rip into how horrible they are Yeah, and then they kind of chill out this. Oh, I'll take care of that. So the episode was

Marvelous we had Anthony being terminated So the episode was marvelous. We had Anthony being terminated, which is deservedly so great. Cause I can't do any more kind of soppy soupy stuff with Anthony anymore. I'm, I'm turning into like, you know, my father was never like this, but I'm, I'm turning into like, you know, let's say you have like an immigrant father who could you come over from? I don't know. Let's say Italy, right?

And I get into, you know, looming, right? I get into what's it called? Fabrics. Okay. You know, stuff like that. And I work my ass off, right? Oh, it's better than a steel mill. what's it called, fabrics, you know, stuff like that. And I work my ass off, right? Oh, it's better than a steel mill.

And then I have a son who's just like, if I don't feel good, I can't work hard. And here I am in Rockwell, America, looking down at these people going, hey, kid, you know, it makes me feel like an old fucking Italian immigrant seeing this guy fucking bitch about shit all the time. And I'm not that. You know what I mean?

Well, it wasn't that Chef Anthony was not a hard worker. He was completely incompetent. They're very different things. Well, yeah, I mean, listen. His uncle stole his wife, we've covered it. There is lots of fun stuff. You know what, I didn't like this episode. I can't really remember what happened.

Me neither. It'll be fun to watch it all over again with each other So we're getting our pots and thoughts. Yeah, I gave it seven pots. Okay. I think it was a decent episode You know, I want to say this about Barbie Barbie, you know, we're friends of the show your friends of the show now Barbie has this way of where she's on the television show and she's talking smack about the charter guests because they're being absolutely horrible. She did it with Jill Zarin, she did it with Carmen. Then come to find out on Barbie's Instagram, she's hanging out with Carmen.

Barbie, what is it? Are they horrible people or are they not horrible people? I guess we're all complicated. Barbie, you can't be a fucking turncoat, okay? Nobody likes a fucking turncoat. Benedict Cumberbatch. Okay. So this is what I wanted to bring up and this will be a fun little exercise for some, uh, I don't know, some, some little barnacles that want some extra extra work. Uh,

I was trying to figure out cause I was like, chef Anthony's a pretty nice guy. And then I thought, I love getting free labor from our fans. Yes, we do. Yeah. Uh really into this. Oh, yes we do. Yeah. So I was thinking, you know, this guy named Kiko also got shit canned like a couple of seasons ago. And I was like, he was also nice.

And then I was thinking, is it just the nice chefs that get shit canned? And then no, of course they're not. There was a guy named Pizza Rat on the first season of Down Under. He was an absolute dickhead. Yeah, total scumbag. So this is what I want to know if you have time one of you do this What position in below deck gets fired the most through all these seasons? Is it the chef is it the interior or is it the deckies? I've seen three bosons go that come to mind

Yeah, I've only seen one chief stew get whacked and that was Hannah for smoking weed Oh, no, we saw oh no ray Reagan wasn't a Chief Steele. She was a Boasin. Right. We also saw that Boasin that showed up for the job pretending to be, it was a false identity. He got shit canned before the boat even left the dock. Yeah, he was a drug traveler.

We had Jared get fired, right? We had the first season we ever covered with Kay Chastain, I think the guy's name was Chase or something, he got shit canned. Oh yeah, Chase got shit canned. So anyway, it will be fun fun if one of you knows the answer please post it and we'll plug our Facebook group here another blowdeck podcast Facebook group yeah let us know let us know absolutely I've talked enough I thought the episode was fine 20 knots all right so we pick up where we

last left off and we were in the kitchen with Anthony struggling to make the dessert now the hard part is over. The lava cake has been made, but where is the ice cream scooper so that I can scoop out bought ice cream onto this chocolate lava cake. Now Anthony says in order to make meaningful food, I need to be happy. And this is where I'm just thinking, you know, I came to this country and I've worked my tail off to raise this family in Bedford Stuy and

now here I have my my little son Anthony who my brother stole his wife you know what I mean I'm Anthony's Italian father right now and it's just a crazy thing to me to see adults not understand the brutality of life. It's very confusing to me like it's so crazy. It is. Now, Dill, I want to say this dinner service was an absolute disaster. Yeah. And I was thinking what could save this dinner service? And it is chocolate lava cake, right? Because chocolate saves a lot of things. It fixes a lot of things, you know. You tell your five-year-old, hey, you're annoying.

And by the way, Santa Claus hates you. And then the child begins to cry. And you're like, hey, what's with the tears? How about some chocolate cake? Yeah, yeah. Just like that, you turn the world around. You can say really whatever you want to a child and then give them chocolate after.

They have horrible memory. Well, I mean, they have good memory in that the traumatic experiences kind of bubble up later in life But but they're not really good at recalling. But anyways, we have to get to grinder Brandon is fishing for For cock on grinder and to our gay fans. Let us know in the Facebook group More patreon under the comments here. I Feel like if you're trying to get laid, Grindr has a much better batting average.

You know, these gays are on Grindr just fucking away at each other. Oh, wow. You know what I mean? I wish there was a heterosexual version of that. I feel like the heterosexual version of that is, I feel like it's not quite in the app store. You know?

You think it's hidden in the dark web? I think it's in a darker recess of the app store. You know? You think it's hidden in the dark web? I think it's in a darker recess of the app store. You know what I mean? I was gonna say, I know he's looking for someone on Grindr, but there's a little barrier to entrance. What are you talking about, the ocean? Yeah, three miles of ocean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well. Got that Tinder, I guess. Yeah, exactly. So we head to the evening and the drinks have been flowing and this is when we get to, this is when we get Carmen acting up quite a bit and she's glazed over in her eyebrows or beneath her nose and she is furious that there's no food and I completely understand. I, okay.

Now Dylan, I want to put this in perspective. Okay. So Jill's Aaron disclosed that Bravo and I get it. Bravo can no longer find people that are going to pay full freight for this to show up on this boat and get filmed and then made fun of and mocked on the television show. So now they essentially have to bribe people to come be charter guests on this boat. So they've lowered, they've deeply discounted this vacation. Yeah. And $5,000 per person for a two day charter.

So that's $2,500 each. Now that is an F ton of money. But is it enough money, dare I say, to have a stew, a sous chef, and a chef? Because that would solve this problem of these late night demands. I think for $2,500 a day, you don't get lobster at 150. You get some pizza and what.

You pay full freight, you better fucking have a lobster at two in the morning. Or four in the morning. I don't want that chef sleeping a wink. Or a sous chef. I don't understand why they don't have bagel bites, caviar service, things that are just pop the lid and feed it to the, you know, to the drunks.

Well, this is where Chef Anthony was just continually fucking up. Ray at some point reminded him at dinner service, hey, at two in the morning, we're kind of like late night eaters. We like that fourth meal, you know? So make sure and cook me this and this, and that gets it out of the way.

Before you put your head down on the pillow, you cook food knowing that the charter guests are gonna want a food late Right, but he did not do that and you deserve to get fired. Yeah Yeah, and I'm disappointed you know I I didn't come all the way across the Atlantic Ocean For him to be messing around like this. So we head in to, we, listen, Barbie's in a mad scramble because she's got drunk people who can eat.

And there's nothing that she's going to really make that will satiate them at this point because it's not about, it's not about being full right now. It's about being treated with respect. They are after. Charter guests. You got to give them what? Hey, look, if you're paying 60 K, I always say go take a shit on the bow of the boat.

Right. It's 60 K, but they're not, but they're not paying 60 K, but it's still a lot of money. I'm just making the case. And by the way, I want to remind the audience with Barbie. Barbie, I want you to answer for this. You said that you hoped these charter guests, you know, mama cast themselves.

And to understand that reference, mama cast was from the mamas and papas, and she fucking choked on a ham sandwich and rolled sevens. So you wanted these people to die. Yeah. Now you're going to fucking made well with them. I mean, what's going on with you? So, um, Barbie and Kyle are falling in love and it is very scary when the sea rats begin to develop feelings for one another because it's like a less romantic monogu capula

kind of thing. It's like, it's not warring families that will prevent you from finding intimacy with one another. It's, um, it's that you're a sea rat. You're completely incapable of doing so right now. And it's even scarier when the producers step in and they try to torpedo, um, their trust in other human beings, because these producers know that these fucking sea rats can't actually have fully flushed out emotional ties with really anybody. So to encourage them to foster them is really, really quite sick.

It is. You know? Now, now, when I saw Porky Pig's left arm on that panini press, I'm like, she's fucked. But turns out she kind of ran the clock out. You cook so long, the charter guests eventually just give up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can run out the clock sometimes. Carmen took a bite. She was like, is this bacon? I love bacon.

So we get to the next day. Next day! Dylan and Vampira speak to one another. I'm not sure what language this is, but we remember that we've got this chat with Dylan Underpants and Ben. And before having this performance review, Ben goes and he gossips to his girlfriend and Leap deckhand about

how Dylan is a gossipy bitch. I hate nope wrong word don't care enough to hate I dislike Ben so on so much many of our fans have compared him to Gary King and it's an apt comparison but you know sans the sexual harassment of Gary King you know like let's pretend that he like let's go back to season 2 Gary was a scumbag but at least he was red-faced and smoking and owned that he was a scumbag. And at that point he was being chased he was not the chaser he's very bothered when he is forced to chase. That's true. That's when he becomes a monster. But Ben is no different than Gary King. He's a sex addict, he's a cheeky little Aussie, he plays with hard strings and

then goes, whoa whoa whoa whoa I'm not doing anything here. The hypocrisy here that's on display. I mean let's let's talk about leadership for one second back channel Ben goes to the lead deckhand of this entire harem of sea rats above deck Yeah, and he tells her that this one hates her. I mean what kind of fucking little prince shit is that? It's back channel Ben. Here's the odd part. I like little prince. It's the prince, right? I'm not sure okay You know anything odd part. I like Dylan the golden It's the prince, right? I'm not sure. Okay. You know, you know, I don't know anything odd part I like Dylan the golden retriever on ecstasy. He's a sweet guy We talked quite a bit on the end on the insta, but he's quite the misogynist at least his position on this

And here's the even otter part Vampira and Barbie have his back on this. Yeah. Oh Barbie Wow exhibit z complete fucking turncoat. Isn't she roommates with Sonny? Yeah, good God. She's like a street gypsy. She'll stab you with a sharpened spoon. That's what they do.

They play the washing board. you know what I mean? And they go so fast that you can't see that one of the instruments have been sharpened. And then when you don't pay them based on the flimsy contract that they think that you agreed with, they stab you. Yeah. And if you're not all caught up on T dab, you know, you will decayay so we get to meal planning Anthony is in a bout of self-sabotage. I think he's fucking high or something Something's going he's trying to fail in as big and as quick and as often away as possible He hatches this cooking on the beach thing Which and it's the same way that he hatched

like, hey, listen, I know that I'm perilously close to being terminated, but why don't we just take orders for dinner tonight? Right? Let's turn this into a fucking full blown operation. I don't know why he's throwing grenades in his way. It's odd, especially since Fraser is really out there trying to keep him from himself. I think I believe he said you're stepping into quicksand and you know I had to look up quicksand because I saw it in the movies it was a big part of my life in cinema for many years. Yeah. Indiana Jones. Yeah

we've discussed that that quicksand had a a myth surrounding it more than an actuality but but it's not real no it is real well no it can't kill you are you kidding I looked it up it's never killed a single person quicksand mm-hmm yeah all you really I don't buy that at all that's why the you know why why there's no you can't take a census on quicksand deaths because the person's gone. You never persons in the fucking quicksand that there are a few things that I fear more in life than being stuck in a puddle of mud and not being able to get out. It's horrifying to think about

being burned alive seems worse. So breakfast or he takes breakfast orders. Did you know the specials eggs Benedict? Yeah. Guests want crab. There's no crab. How is there no crab? They didn't, not they didn't ask for Fugu Shashimi. They asked for crab. Crab should be on the boat. I can't do, you know, people always look at me like I'm such a freak when I say no crab. You went to what's it called?

Sugarfish. Yeah. I'm the weekend. They always end with the fucking blue crab. And I go, you know, you guys eat it and they go, that's the best part. I go, well, it's not for me. So you go ahead. You can eat it because I've told it. I've told the best part. I go, well, it's not for me. So you go ahead. You can eat it.

Because I've told the story before. It was that 77 degree day in Todi, and I saw that man eating a plate of crab legs by himself. He was fat. He was bald. And he threw up, didn't he? Yeah, he didn't throw up. He just scarred me.

Children have incredible memory. Oh, yes. You're like, that's disgusting. I never want to be like that person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a hot sadness. It was like when I saw my dad grab a waitress's ass and then tap her on the ass. I'm like, that's pretty disgusting. I don't think I want to be like my dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God he didn't call me for 17 years. I know and you're still working through that. So, Carmen is

here at this point, right? Paris heads down, says, Anthony, we need a lobster Benedict. Well, she really hits down, she says, they don't want pork. And there's so much about this that is such a nightmare. I'm getting tongue-tied. Can I break down some of the game film? Yes, please.

Okay, so Chef Anthony would make the worst personal assistant ever. Because Paris says, Hey, what's with the alternatives to swine? You know, you got to be like some duck guts or something that was an alternative. He's like, Hey, look, I put it in on the sheet. They just didn't have it. So he crosses that off the list is like, Hey, did you get my car washed today? Actually, I didn't. The one down the street was closed. So you didn't try another car wash or perhaps pull a garden hose on the driveway? Right.

No, boss. It's also interesting seeing Shafi now with a new outlook on his job, which is I don't give a shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe he said that. You know what's crazy? You've switched to Topo Chico. I have.

It's a much classier brand. That's a huge shift for you. It have. It's a much classier brand. That's a that's a huge shift for you. It feels like it's a step up. Wow. So have you sworn off White Claw? No, no, no, no. Someone just brought this over the house. We had a little Sunday fun day with the kids in the pool. Oh boy, which turned into World War Three with me and my wife. Maybe I'll talk about it in APS. Hey, um, or three with me and my wife. Maybe I'll talk about it in APS. Hey. You want to hear it?

No. Oh. I mean, who went? Oh, it was my friend Omar, his lovely wife Danielle, their lovely daughter Sophia. Yeah. Uncle Louis, my friend came over. He didn't have any kids.

No, he doesn't. That's why he's an uncle. Yeah. And we just had a- Why didn't I get in mine? Well, come on. I'm so tired of hearing nose from you It's almost like you love for me to ask so that you can just say no

Yeah, I'm even questioned if you're getting invited to the summer music fest at the Hickies. What do you think of the name Hickapalooza? I Love that But no, I couldn't attend yesterday it It was my wife and I's six year anniversary. Congratulations. Thank you so much. You know, I sat across from her at a dinner and I said that you know, many people say that we're the gold standard of monogamy and and you've said that about us before. Right. And I say, what? It's it's amazing because it doesn't feel you know that there is work but Being your husband is the funnest thing I've ever done

It's profound Loving you is so much fun. And she started to cry and then I started to cry And I said What do you say we get out of here? And she said, we haven't paid. And I said, okay. And we remained there and we talked about how we had just seen that fucking movie Civil War and it was inconceivably, inconceivably bad and and it was one of those things where It reminded you did on your anniversary. You saw a movie. Well, we had a whole day together Okay, we went to Lenscrafters in the morning. I've got a racket that was I mean my god

then we went to the park for numerous hours and Read and drank wine and then we went and saw the film and then we went to a dinner where we expressed our appreciation for one another full day one of how I spent my evening last night yeah sleeping on the couch in the living room yeah so everything to do with this fucking Benedict drives me nuts okay because one Paris comes down and she's just like what can you do now? Anthony is not a very proactive person period, so he's not sure, but eventually we arrive at lobster.

The lobster cooked the lobster. She goes back up, says we don't have any beef. We don't have any crab, but we do have lobster and I would say to Paris that you've got to start with that. And I would say to Anthony that you've got to start with that. These McDouble suckers, I mean, you put lobster on a menu, they're going to flip out, you know, they're fucking, you know, they're five K a day clients, right? I mean, we've seen these people frequent below deck time after time, after time,

they're tongue blind losers who... It's sea bugs. Who love lobster. They think it's the classiest thing in the world. And they want to have a red carpet rolled out for them so that they can pretend like they're at the Academy Awards with their friend Jules from Pulp Fiction. I mean...

I love Jules. He was the best character. Yeah. Well, and also the best charter guest. I mean, that guy was absolutely... I like Tiffany, too's Tiffany was nice as well Yeah, whenever Carmen was starting to kind of fire up you'd see Tiffany like get a little uncomfortable like yeah Yeah, like a decent human being but also to Anthony, you know that they don't eat pork, right?

So let's let's if you do have lobster and you know, they don't eat pork Lobster Benedict very very easy. I mean, dude, you're out at sea and you've got one oar at this point. I mean, it's just pathetic. He's paddling in a circle. You know, it's because he said, I believe he admitted it, I don't give a shit. Now, old Patty is accustomed to this.

This is something that was in my life, but it was at North American Insurance. And the good news is when I worked there, no one else gave a shit right right it was all about Let's shuffle some papers for a little while and then we'll drink some cocktails that thank God It's Fridays and fuck each other and park in a parking lot. Yeah, I miss that time. Yeah, that's happiness That's pure happiness So we get to the beach Anthony arrives and tells Flay it Frazier that he will in fact be cooking on the beach

Oh, do you and then we have will in fact be cooking on the beach Oh dear, and then we have this thing that's happening on the show a lot lately Well, okay, so they're they're playing paddle ball And if Frasier has now gone to war with Anthony, yeah Understandably so but here we go Frasier radios back to the boat He goes Anthony's 30 minutes behind his uncle slept with his wife. He's absolutely loosening right. Fraser tells him over and over that they don't like the food, which is not something that a protective Steve chiefs to does for their chef. You know, usually it's this, uh, yeah, you know, it's going great.

Right. The phrase is, I mean, he's here. Right. Um, the biggest problem that Anthony has to endure or the biggest mistake that Anthony made here is thinking in some fucking psychotic overconfident way that he can serve macaroni and cheese to black people. I mean, okay, what is going on in your brain, young man? Michelin star chefs can't serve mac and cheese

to black people. You can't make it better than a woman named Sylvia, okay? It's not gonna fucking work. But clearly at the heart of the issue was the noodles. Those noodles belong in a styrofoam cup sold out of a vending machine, not substituted for pipe reggette. What? Is that that type of noodle? substituted for pipe reggette. What?

Is that that type of noodle? The standard for macaroni and cheese. Oh, the elbow noodles? Yeah. Yeah, I call them elbow noodles. No, what Chef Anthony made- Rotini's acceptable as well. Yeah, Chef Anthony made,

it looked like a fucking homeless outreach program. It was slop. It was slop. That's what you feed to fucking zombies on a corner. This is where I felt bad for Carmen, just because of the punishment that they were succumbing to She said I'm not gonna waste my calories on this and you shouldn't waste your calories on that You know we head back to the boat Everything is fixed with a gummy bear shot and we get to a little sea rat history now Paris is post-breakup

And rocking braids as fuck. must say oh yes she had a an ex-boyfriend who cheated on her with his ex-girlfriend stole her shit and then posted about it on social media yeah that's some crazy girl stuff that's some crazy girl stuff mm-hmm and what a what a silly dumb man to be roped back into the toxicity of that kind of smut. Yeah. It's very alluring, you know. It's quite a siren song for dumb pig men. Yeah, but Paris dated him.

I'm not saying she's completely unfaithful. I just want to say there's more to this story that we are- Yeah, but I mean, you know how guys are like, yeah, you know what? I do miss her holding a knife in the kitchen and us screaming. It was hot. Because after, we had the craziest sex ever. And I cried a lot, but I also came alive. Yeah, the sex, it was never that hot again.

Now, Dill, I want to back up for a second, because Frazier does meet with Carrie. And Carrie will start looking at resumes. And Sheffy will be left behind. I forgot who said this because he's not keeping up just like a Carrie said that. Yeah. Yeah. Just like a caribou with a bum knee and you just have to let a lion hop on his back and take him down and literally eat him alive. And by that, I mean a lot. Yeah. Here I'm, I'm, uh, I'm the caribou.

Okay. So you're the caribou in Alaska And then there's a lion and I'm trying to make small talk as you're eating me. Okay. Hey, what's your name? Greg oh Oh Nice nice num num num num num. I figured I you probably don't like small talk, you know Greg, but uh, no, you know what actually I Quite enjoy it. Yeah. But you know, since you're going to be the last person I ever talked to, can I quickly say, I am so sorry for ripping your hamstring away from your leg the way that I just

did. I really, really apologize. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's, you know, I understand that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I prefer if you weren't quite the talker that you are, though. Oh, okay. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah anyway, okay Well beggars can't be choosy want to know how I hurt my leg yesterday, which has ultimately led to this situation Where you're eating me? Shoot The lines will say not really. Oh the line supposed to say not really isn't it odd eating someone alive? Isn't it odd doing an improv scene with you?

Isn't that odd eating someone alive? Isn't it odd doing an improv scene with you? Because what's odd about it is that there's a script that I don't know about. No, no, no, no. But you know about it, right? I just lay the beats down and let it fly, man. Yeah, yeah, you're really letting it fly. You know what I mean?

Anyway, Chef Anthony's just like a caribou. Hey, Siri, where do caribou Hey Siri Where do caribou usually live Reindeer oh Baby reindeer. Are you watching that? No What is baby? I have mixed feelings about it. It's a guy who? keeps continually has the habit of

getting into relationships with women where he basically plays with their emotions. And even when they turn into stalkers, he still kind of welcomes them back into his life. And then the third episode goes into some backstory. He wrote it. It's a prop comic of all people. I gotta tell you, it's the it's the guy. it's interesting. I think more projects should be, the person that wrote it should be starring in it with unique stories. You tell us what you thought of Baby Reindeer. You're still looking that up? No. Oh, okay. You want to move on? Yeah. Okay. Nighttime. Frazier's in the galley. He's definitely micromanaging, but it's necessary because Chefy is, the walls are talking to him at this point

Oh my god. Yeah, I mean really really scary stuff happening down in the galley, but we get to dinner We already have you know, you skipped over the red carpet, but yeah who gives a shit. No, no Well, well, so was Michael Jackson Children menu planning first we we see that Immediately I'm seeing Sandra Lee Italian. Okay. Did you did you know she dated that former governor of New York? I had no idea about that. Yeah. Well, what was his name? Oh Cuomo. Yeah Yeah, she's a powerful lady and we broke down her Kwanzaa cake on PMZ and it and And we broke down her Kwanzaa cake on PMZ. That's right.

And it, and, uh, Ibram Kendi actually wrote about it. He says it was the most damaging thing to black America since, um, Dred Scott, actually. Right. Yeah. And I disagree with him, but I see where he's coming from because you put corn nuts on it. Okay. So we already have this Sandra Lee Italian, you know, top of the tomato cut off, laid a top basil and roasted, but we go through the menu and what Anthony's going to do is make a chicken. See, right? Sounds good, man. And then he's going to, um, put some more chicken on a plate for the person who doesn't need fish

I believe the person that doesn't eat fish also doesn't like salad so like vegetables We really are in a This is a red dawn kind of moment, you know, we've got to get this guy out This is generally, you know your space of expertise, but I do want to point out that chicken Caesar salad, it looks like hospital food that they serve you because they know you'll be dead soon. You get it at a golf course. So red carpet, Clifton, this guy's hilarious. We've got Sandy, we've got Jules from Pulp Fiction, we've got Jasmine, we've got late 90s Michael Jackson

It's no great. If you give a child and let him sleep in your bed. I always let him drink the Jesus juice Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, it's really those kids. Yeah. No, it was really shitty that he did that to all those children You won't do though. Yeah, and and we did know and that's that's You all knew though. Yeah, and we did know. And that's a contract we signed with ourselves. What you think I was doing? Yeah, you go, Mike, you know, when I heard Human Nature, it shook me to the core.

And because of that, I'm gonna cast a gaze, a scance while you kiss the little balls of children and And we all did that, you know, that's a call new that's a collective sin Okay And Which they get snapper sorry, sorry just Sorry a snapper. Sorry, sorry, just sorry. I snapper was you know what it rounds this whole thing was not a shitty dinner from Anthony. We've got local red snapper, potato gratin, the one who doesn't need fish just gets a lot of that roasted

tomatoes and veg and then we've got a berry milk foie to round everything out and that's when we get to grilled cheese prep right so he goes hey you were down last night this evening we would like a lobster grilled cheese so if you could prep some of that and Anthony says okay and then proceeds downstairs like a fucking madman and begins to make turkey and tomato grilled cheese sandwiches. I don't know what to say other than there are different times in life where you're consumed by spirits of insanity and you know you need to shake yourself from that kind of entrapment.

Right. And Anthony's just not in a good spot right now. Um, he needs to leave the boat. He needs to kill his uncle and he needs to come back better than ever. Yeah. I think killing his uncle, it's like Shakespearean. Yeah. And then he will become the hero and he'll be able to cook grilled cheese with lobster Yeah. Oh my god if Anthony kills his uncle If someone tells him exactly what they want, he'll be able to you know, do his best with that But right now he's just failing now here was I don't know if you caught this line

so chef he may think that he made it out of this charter alive because I don't know if you caught this line. So Sheffy may think that he made it out of this charter alive because Frazier said, next time we need to spend more time working on the preference sheet together. And I think that gave Sheffy a breath of like, relief. Yeah, relief, yeah. But it did not.

So we get to the next day. Oh, and by the way, so Barbie did, he fucked up the fourth meal of the night. So Barbie had to wake up Chef Anthony into his credit. He got up and he did it. Oh, can I say Anthony's the, I can't stand this with people where they, it's a little gaslighty where you go in, you go,

hey, sorry to wake you up. But the guests actually wanted the food that they talked to you about and he goes oh oh my god no problem what do you mean no problem we've got a fucking mutiny up there and you're just counting sheep right now you fuck oh my god no problem no problem how heroic we get to the next day Sonny and Dylan are not doing well in a very corny way Breakfast is serve and we dock the guests depart with some constructive criticism

The food sucked it would have been a lot better if we had duck bacon which Carmen um I can't give her shit for that. Oh, of course you can give her shit for that who the fuck What are you just going all over the world requesting duck bacon? I mean that the pat Requesting a cheeseburger in Thailand is ridiculous and pizza, but cheeseburgers and pizza or cheeseburgers and pizza You're you're you're trying to acquire duck bacon for five thousand dollars a day. I mean listen They couldn't find turkey bacon turkey bacon's fine, but not duck bacon, which is what she calls for. I think she said anything, any kind of acceptable. Who the fuck eats duck bacon?

What is that? Let's get to the tip meeting. Okay. 17 to 50. No, it wasn't. Wasn't Jill Zarin's 15 K? No, because they said it was the lowest of the season. They it wasn't wasn't Jill Zarin's 15k? No because they said it was the lowest of the season numerous times. They did say that I think the reaction said that broadcast that but I don't

I thought Jill Zarin in that brood left 15k that's why I was confused by their being upset about it but anyway I could be wrong forgive me. Well Anthony is called up to the crow's nest after Frazier and the guillotine is dropped and in the wildest turn of the season, Anthony actually pushes back and he fights for his job. I mean, he's shocked by the termination. Oh, he responds by saying, I don't know what you're talking about. He says, I don't know what you're talking about. And then Kerry is forced to give him a rundown of all his fuck ups.

First night, you were an hour and 45 minutes late with everything. Um, you know, there was that one time where you served three Thai things in one bowl. Didn't even wipe the room of the plate. It was just fucking, you know, peanut sauce everywhere. It looked fucking disgusting. Everybody's been pissed about your food. You have no idea what's going on. You're fired. And then he says, wow, it's the first time I've ever been fired. Yeah. Really? Your wife fired you when she left you for your uncle. And that's so brutal. He said,

well, no one's ever done this to me. And his wife responded, yeah, it's pretty random. Anyway, here's your car keys. Yeah. And his wife said, consider this first firing and he's like, well, it's such a weird way to put that She goes well, yeah, but I'm just trying to help you right now If you're ever fired in the future, you can say I've been through this before But Anthony is not in the right headspace so he couldn't you know, bring that memory to mind so we You know, he's a sweet guy, but at this point, and you can tell, the audience can tell,

I'm a little fatigued with this man. Right. He was given one more charter that he probably shouldn't have been given, so that's the grace that I would tell Frasier, who was upset, clearly, that someone lost their job. We should always feel bad for that, because they're not meaning to do it,

they're just incompetent, and you can't keep, you know, you're not up for the job. It's sad, but you got to let them go. You got to let them go. You got to let them go. So we get to the night out. There's a song that says, My Cash Flow Never Runs Out, which is one of the least apt songs for Sea Rats

I've ever heard. It always runs out. Also, yeah, there's talking about a lot of royal free music tonight to help you know We call it like propel the story. Yeah great musical scores and yeah Jaws Star Wars Schindler's List now below deck. Yep. Yep phenomenal stuff We get to dinner Dylan and Sonny are heading it off in that she's handling him talking at her very very well Barbie and Kyle have a little um... Siggie.

Yeah a little Siggie wherein Barbie relays to the viewing audience that she dates career Jews and that her father you know only supports that type of guy. And we get to pool time with the gang and we get to a game that we have not played in some time. Is that Truth or Dare? That's truth or dare. And the next thing you know people are taking shots out of people's shoes and they... Yeah, well, shoey. And then you get throat herpes. The next thing you know you're in the hospital and then you need a new fucking throat. Yeah. Never take a shot out of a shoe. New throats are unbelievably expensive. It's a whole fucking thing.

And it's like sometimes you need a whole new neck and you gotta blend it and it's just, you know. I mean the color and not blending the neck. You know, that doesn't make any fucking sense. I don't know why you would think that. But pool time ends with Barbie refusing to kiss anybody. But listen, Barbie's fired up. She's hopped up and she's ready to go okay so she's ready for fucking bathroom fucking well that's what all these searats do they fucking the bathroom her dad's conservative and mum's the sex therapist and barbie has quite the transformation and she will have sex in the bathroom yeah and the trailer shows uh

buyer's remorse the next morning. Well, it's more back channel Ben kind of flaming her out on national television, one of his least severe crimes. But we end with Dylan hitting on Sonny in a really, really brutal kind of way. You know, I would say to Dylan, you know, mystery is no longer, you know, in vogue, but you gotta start somewhere with game. Read the game, Dylan.

You gotta read the game, man. You know, anything's better than this, right? You have to start negging. Yeah, or set your face on fire, and then, you know, have to go out to bars and develop New skills to get chicks to talk to you. Sure. Yeah under percent, but He got I could see it. I could I could see the whole fucking thing. He goes You're not taken right and she goes no

I'm not really taking and that that is a Daytona 500 green light for him But but it never was. It existed in a quantum position where he felt as though it was entry. And she knew that it was the exact opposite. I don't think Dylan's going to like my observation of this. I think Dylan sees this on the show as quite the opportunity and trying to make as much hay as possible.

You do not get a second season or other opportunities when you just kind of sit in the background. Yes, no, we've seen plenty of those people before and they do not get invited back. Five stars, kind words. Join us at patreon.com slash another podcast network. I am Dylan saying goodbye, Pat say goodbye. Later dudes. I introduce...